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I Am Newly Widowed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 66 People

    How Can We Be Different

    For 28 years  I put myself forward as my husbands wife...helper and after he developed cancer...as his caregiver.  Hes been gone 2 years in feb and now I'm supposed to act as if I'm an available woman,  Just how in the hell do you do that.????   So far I just haven't been...
    teeva12 teeva12 66-70 4 Responses Jan 13, 2011

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    I Just Need A Friend

    Filled with nervous energy again, and once again, it's because I won't learn from my mistakes. But this time, I'm determined to. Met yet another guy (oh no, not again!) a few weeks ago who I've been interested in ever since. Have only met up with him three times so far and...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Apr 9, 2010

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    Everyone's Favourite Trainwreck (or Don't Judge Me, I'm Grieving)

    It's me - again. My latest affair has just ended and I'm seriously starting to go off the rails. And, of course, it's very little to do with the guy personally. With THAT guy at least. I ended it because "we're too different", usual kind of thing. He was in agreement. Then I...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Mar 11, 2010

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    I Won't Leave You Again

    It's been a tough couple of days in the grieving process. But I feel much calmer now and have come to some valuable conclusions. One of these is that over the last couple of months, I "left" my late partner and my grief behind somewhere and replaced him/it with this...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Oct 9, 2009

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    My Husband Had Als

    he died on october 8th....it was the worst three years of our lives.  he was difficult, and sad, and most of the time, caring for him was like dragging him through life, because he was so uncooperative.  my children live out of state, and although his mother and brother...
    2y2bw 2y2bw 51-55 2 Responses Mar 26, 2009

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    Losing Mike

    I lost my husband of almost 21 years in 2010.  He was killed in a charter boat accident.  After months of total chaos and uncertainty, I've started settling into a period of quiet reflection.  This summer I felt it would help to start a blog to express my feelings.  In years...
    blondiebachus blondiebachus 41-45 Feb 17, 2011

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    4 weeks ago I was at my husband's bedside,

    he was unconscious and he could not wake, I sat with him all night talking to him, kissing him and holding his hand. I asked him if I could take a lock of his hair, I explained that his hair needed cutting and reminded him that we had spoken about having his hair cut, the nurse...
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F Aug 17

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    Today it is one month

    since my dear, darling husband was taken from me. I cannot live without him nor do I want to, My life ended with his, and I should be able to buy a pill so that I can go too, just what is the point in my staying alive?
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F Aug 21

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    Guilt

    I just read a post from a new widow which talks about guilt. I think this is a subject most widows/widowers can relate to. It's almost 11 months since my partner died but little things still come up that set the guilt process in motion. Guilt about not thinking enough about the...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Apr 29, 2010

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    Two Months Today

    My partner died of a heart attack two months ago today. I think the grief is only just setting in. I find myself crying uncontrollably, unable to concentrate on anything. I'm just beginning to understand what I've lost. At the same time, I'm thinking about my life in general...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Aug 7, 2009

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    Messed Up - Again

    I'm feeling really bad right now, and a lot of it's my own doing. If you've been following my posts at all you'll know that I have been struggling with my feelings about men and sexuality in recent months, and that I had a short affair with a very unsuitable guy. And now I've...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Feb 16, 2010

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    Doing Things For Me - And No-one Else

    I've had a bit of an epiphany over the last 24 hours that I want to get down in writing. Nothing particularly earth-shattering, but important to me. I've realised - or rather become acutely aware - that since puberty, I've been pretty much obsessed with the opposite sex in a very...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Oct 8, 2009

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    Nervous Energy Making Me A Clown

    I'm in what I call "stand-up comedian mode" at the moment. I can't even send an email to anyone without being at least slightly comical or outrageous. It's almost a manic state. I've been like this for, well at least a week or so. I do have a bit of a comedian in me but it's not...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Feb 9, 2010

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    Lost

    I lost my husband on April 7, 2009. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.  He had been pretty successfully battling cancer when a pneumonia set in. Even though he had been fighting the cancer fight and we knew that there may be more cancer battles, I did not expect...
    sadgirl58 sadgirl58 46-50 1 Response Apr 20, 2009

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    Just A Trigger?

    I've recently ended my first (very short) relationship since my partner's death (see my story "Victim of his ego"). And I'm having real problems right now - sleeping, ever-present anxiety, etc. As the "relationship" lasted just a couple of weeks, I find it extremely hard to...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Jan 28, 2010

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    Two Years

    Two years have now passed. And things are very different compared to last year. I'm in a totally different place in my life, with a new relationship and new challenges to deal with. I haven't forgotten my late partner, but I don't think of him as often as I did. And that's as it...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Jun 7, 2011

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    I Lost My Husband Last Oct. And I'm Only 31.

    I moved in my new apartment -for myself only-a few weeks ago. It felt weird. I mean, my husband and I used to have such a good relationship, so I've never thought about-who could?-this kind of situation. yes, It's been almost 6 mon. I mean, I'm getting better I guess...
    nyct nyct 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2010

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    The Best 20 Days Ever...

    I am just going to explode if I don"t get this off my chest. After a 20 day whilwind vacation with my husband back in March until April my husband unexpectedly passed away. I am still in shock I am a young woman yet this was not suppose to happen, we had plans for...
    Aroahs Aroahs 46-50, F 3 Responses May 31, 2009

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    Feeling Totally Lost Without Him

    Its been three months now since l lost my husband. I am totally and utterly bereft, l lost him suddenly, we were swimming, l looked round and there he was just floating. It happened on the second day of what was to be a months cruise, it took 11 days to get back to the UK. I...
    pollyflinders pollyflinders 56-60, F 2 Responses Mar 16, 2012

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    Today the pain is so bad

    that I cannot move. It is just over two month since my husband died and the pain has not lessened, I cannot live without him, now I just exist, half a person.
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F 2 Responses Sep 25

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    I hope that I am not self indulgent,

    but this loss of my dear husband, is so hard bear, impossible in fact. I am bereft, no one can help me. I visit my darling's grave every day, I only wish to join him, I pray that I will die. Many widows/widowers die from a broken heart and I hope that I will be one. In an...
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F Aug 18

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    Falling For A Fantasy

    Still trying to work out my feelings about the guy I recently split from. And trying to separate the "widow" part from the "normal break-up" part. It's tricky, to say the least. We have a "common interest" (which I won't specify here for reasons of anonymity) that means that we...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Mar 23, 2010

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    A (potential) Friendship Sadly Lost?

    Feeling a bit down today about the guy I wrote about in my last post. As I said, I gave him the brush-off, but I wasn't impolite and we did talk again a week later and things seemed fine - he'd toned down the flirting but was otherwise still interested in talking to me. I don't...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 2 Responses Apr 13, 2010

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    A Year Passed

    Got through the first anniversary of my partner's death a few weeks ago. Seems stupid but I can't help thinking now that this is it, I should be "over it" now. Should be getting on with my life, not crying about the loss any more. Not feeling lost, alone, a burden to my friends...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Jun 22, 2010

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    My Loved One Is Gone

            We would have been married 44 years this nov but, my husband died Sept 13/12. . DEL(DELBERT) asked to have a renewal of services when,  we were told he had cancer and would have one to two years to live.  We  got the diagnosis in March and we took the  took a...
    whiskey090946 whiskey090946 61-65, F 1 Response Feb 13, 2012

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    Lost My Husand Aug 18th 2009

    My husband is gone my income is gone my credit is gone and I have no family to help me. I can't get my widows benefits cause I am not a citizen but I have been here since 1961 from Germany lost my alien registration card social security will not accept my photo copy of my card...
    verena2113 verena2113 51-55, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Valintine

    well its that time yesterday has ben 1 yr. feb 11, 2009. I dont rilly know how I am doing. It fills ruther strange and I dont know I will react. I fill ruther stuped talking about this. may be youll understand in a minet. may be ill understand in a minet. 19 yrs a go i merryied...
    jessyjames jessyjames 46-50, M Feb 12, 2009

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    I'm 44 Years Old And Feel As If I'm 90. Confused And Alone.

    Lost my husband almost a year ago this week due to over heated in work environment and he had a heart attack. We didn't know he had a blocked artery. He was very active. He worked harder than anyone I ever knew. We were holding ourselves together after just loosing our 16 year...
    summer48 summer48 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2012

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    Four Months

    A third of a year has passed. My grief has now taken the form of being "obsessed" with a male friend who is completely unsuitable for me. In another story, I implied that I was in love with him - well, love is the wrong word, I guess. He simply fills a small part of the...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Oct 7, 2009

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    I am so cross with my husband

    for smoking, because it was this that killed him, he was so fit, his doctor sent him to a cardiologist in May and he was able to do the treadmill etc. Atrial Fibrillation was diagnosed. An x-ray was taken but just over 2 months later he was died from lung cancer. I believe...
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F Aug 16

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    Truly Moving Forward - At Last

    Been a while since I posted here, which I guess is a positive thing. And really, as a whole, things are getting back on track. I'm feeling much less restless, partying less, spending more time with those who have turned out to be my real friends, lost some less honorable types...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Sep 6, 2010

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    Trying to Bick Up the Peaces

    I,m a 48 yr old man I lost my wife 11 mo ago, and being on here is the best thing I have dun. It is incretable how lonely an desperet i can feal. I cant hardely function.
    jessyjames jessyjames 46-50, M 4 Responses Jan 9, 2009

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    And It Really Did All End In Tears

    I met up last night with that guy that I've been interested in for a couple of months now (see previous stories). Now I know I'm definitely not in the running - and it hurts like hell. I was extremely pleased when I heard he'd be hanging out with me and some mutual friends for...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 May 21, 2010

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    Six Months

    It's now six months since my partner died. I feel I'm getting back on track a bit more, even though the empty feeling is still there to some extent. I'm gradually building a new life for myself, with new friends and new challenges. Christmas is coming, which is know can be a...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 1 Response Dec 7, 2009

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    Oops I Did It Again

     Now I get it.All I needed to do was re-read my story "I won't leave you again" and I saw immediately that I've repeated the exact same thing with this new guy. Tried to displace the grief by focusing on someone else, getting obsessed with them. I've finally reconnected with...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Jan 28, 2010

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    Cholangio carcinoma took my husband 5 weeks ago.

    He was healthy and fine until 3 weeks before that. I just never thought this would happen nor that it would be so awful. The paperwork is overwhelming and everyday brings just another complication. I just keep crying out of the blue
    wease1 wease1 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9

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    My dear, darling husband died of lung cancer 18

    days after being diagnosed. We were married for nearly 50 years we met at 19, I do not know how to live without him. I loved him so much, we were both happy together we did not need friends. We were totally involved with each other, unlike some long marriages we were not...
    dbkmb dbkmb 70+, F Aug 15

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    I Was Not Prepared

    My husband was diagnosed on October 4, 2007 with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. There is no treatment for this disease and there is no cure. It is a motor neuron disease which, over time, affects all the muscles in the body. He was told he had...
    VictoriaB VictoriaB 51-55 3 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    Desperately Seeking - And Grief's Sell-by Date

    Just had a really bad night. Cried myself to sleep, had nightmares. The trigger this time? A conversation with a good friend of mine about chasing men. If you've read my last couple of posts you'll know that I've been interested in (yet another) guy lately but things have...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 May 4, 2010

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    Newly Widowed

    My name is Shari Lynn and my husband Chad just passed away on Oct. 28th at the age of 32, he was perfectly healthy, strong, and a wonderful husband. We believe it was a heart attack but are still waiting on the autopsy. I am experiencing horrible pain with out him, we were...
    harleysmom66 harleysmom66 41-45 4 Responses Nov 16, 2008

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    A Fresh Start

    The last time I wrote I talked about how relatively content I was with my life, and particularly how I was no longer chasing after men. How ironic - I stop chasing and a man literally falls into my lap. And for the first time since my partner died, this one seems like a keeper...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 Nov 22, 2010

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    How Do I Go On Without You.

    On Feb 12 2009 I lost the biggest most important part of me.MY Heart and soul MY One true love My husband.MYyheart and soul on march 29th we would have been together 23 years.23 wonderfulyears.Iwas so blessed to have found him.he just turned 50 last november .( he was so happy he...
    myluvmylifemybestfriend myluvmylifemybestfriend 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 9, 2009

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    Anxiety, Tears, Vulnerability

    I'm going through a bad patch right now in the grieving process. I feel like an infinite black hole of need. I can't just stay at home and relax and be comfortable with myself there - I have to go out so I can avoid the anxiety instead. I'm finding it hard to know who my friends...
    artdeco artdeco 36-40 3 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Husband Died Suddenly

    My husband of almost 24 yrs of marriage suddenly died May 13, 2009- a week & ahalf ago, at the age of 54. He died of a intracerebral hemorrhage. He collapased on the Job.He had acute respiratory problems & was on inhalers & pills, he thought the way he felt was from...
    Uneededme Uneededme 56-60 4 Responses May 24, 2009

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    So Little Time

    I lost the love of my life on May 2nd to a stroke.  We were married 18 months exactly to the day he was burried.  We were both widows when we met so now, once again, I find myself a widow--twice within 7 years!! Lost--it doesn't even begin to explain how I feel. ...
    smilingal49 smilingal49 56-60 2 Responses Jun 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    My husband died on Sept.22, 2014 after a three day illness. It was a shock...and I still feel like it couldn't really have happened. I don't really like the title of this group...
    jobee1950 jobee1950 61-65, F 1 Response Nov 21

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    I am a 15 year old white girl and every day I wear dresses and white pantyhose. There is a 53 year old black man who lives across the street from me and my family. His wife passed...
    tracywatson tracywatson 13-15, F 5 Responses Dec 6

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    Hello there I just dropped on this site to see if anyone was interesting in chatting
    giove giove 56-60, F 1 Response Dec 7

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    My wife told me that she wants to separate for a while today. I have mixed feelings about it. I feel sadness but also feel like maybe this is the right thing to do...
    Handsome78 Handsome78 36-40, M 3 Responses Nov 19

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    I just want him to know that I'm beautiful without him I'm meaningful without him :-) <3 #LeeMichellelyrics
    Darcie5 Darcie5 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 20

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    about a month in a half ago i caught my husband talking to a woman online and he told her he loved her. when I saw it, he said he was sorry. even gave me a little card telling me...
    butterflytears44 butterflytears44 41-45, F Nov 22