I don't know if it's something you look for but more of something that finds you. It just happens when you least expect it and when it does it's absolutely wonderful. Of course I do love my friends but it's entirely in a different way.
I am a 47 year old, woman,
LAZY SPELLER ! hahaha
That has raised ( as a single parent) 3 wonderful children, ( 30, 28, 21 )and they have given me 4 beautiful Grandchildren, ( 8,8,6,5 )( One on the way DUE Sept 11th ! :)
I had big plan's when my youngest turned 21 , But...
I am in a really great relationship, however, I don't have a lot of friends to hang out with. I would love to meet new people to go out and hang with and have some fun with. I have a couple of friends here, but I need to get passed some of my shyness.
I think about you all the time. I think about your gentle boyish laugh and the small grin it brings to my face. I think about your sense of humor and how I laugh when I'm around you. I think about your beautiful deep voice and how it makes me feel happy and at peace. I think...
I just know romantic love will never work out for me. That's just the way it is.
But I have nothing, no friendship love, no innocent affection love, no love of any kind. The people I loved the most were taken away, except my father who hates me, and ex-friend who won't talk to me...
But, I'm telling you
This is the best I can do!
I can be a good loner
I can be a decent friend
But, I'll never be a lover until the end
I can get close
But, I can't get closer
Will I ever find closure?
Maybe one day,
My heart will make amends
I will only have...
for any hurt I caused him - but he's not even aware of hurting me at all, and probably never will be. Especially take take responsibility for it. He's always the victim.
Is it so bad that I wanted a friend? Someone to bare my soul to? He seemed to accept every part of me, and I...