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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 479 People

    When people tell me they're fine,

    whe clearly they're sad, I want to be there for them and talk to them and let them know it's okay to cry. But when I'm sad or upset, I say I'm fine. And all they say is okay. And walk away.
    SomeDepressedTeenx SomeDepressedTeenx 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    smilingtolie smilingtolie 18-21, F Nov 2, 2014

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    I feel so depressed right now.

    I haven't been this depressed in a while. It scares me because I don't want to go back to the way things used to be, I just want to be better. I have depression, anxiety, and dissociative identity disorder. No matter what I do I feel like I can't stop feeling like crap. This is...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    I can't even eat properly from worrying about

    my boyfriend and his bad influencing friends. After the last few weeks I've just began constantly worrying after he lied to me pretending he was in danger and doing drugs. And last night I threw up from the constant nervousness and worrying. I'm making myself more ill yet I can...
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    Probably never will be.

    I just wished I could be happy
    DeterminedToMakeLifeWorthIt DeterminedToMakeLifeWorthIt 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I haven't posted in a while

    so I thought this would be a good time to post. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• So I am on Christmas break. I got a lot of things and mostly...
    SomeDepressedTeenx SomeDepressedTeenx 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 25, 2014

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    because, I left my country

    and all my friends and moved to this hell hole, I hate people here and I'm damn sure they are not fond of me either, I lost my friends and I can't make new ones..
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21, 2014

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    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    TURNS OUT MY BF was with 3 girls last night

    getting up to no good! Better than him! I'm better than this :)
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29, 2014

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    Round And Round

    Nightmares, medications, hospitalizations, overdoses, group homes. i will never be okay..........just one more cog messing with the gears. I go around and around and get nowhere except where I began from.
    bluehaiku bluehaiku 41-45, F Nov 7, 2010

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    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    I'm never going to be okay again

    after this. You just.. left me? This can't be happening..
    jiayong jiayong 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 11

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    I hate my school I hate myself I hate everything

    and I just need peter to be here for me but he never is :'(
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F Oct 29, 2014

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    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    going though surgeries is not easy,

    especially when you're alone.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 24, 2014

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    While I was sleeping I guess I moved around too

    much and my cuts opened up and now there's blood on my sheets. Does anyone know how to take out blood stains from sheets?
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2014

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    I'm getting the urge to self harm ): I last

    self harmed 7 months ago today
    TheDevilInTheMirror TheDevilInTheMirror 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    I want to die. Everything in my life is falling

    apart. I started cutting again... I just wish I could end this pain. I'm so scared and alone...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 21, 2014

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    Just find it hard to see the purpose

    for living. People disappoint me, life disappoints me and I disappoint myself. Everything is fake and in the end of the day no one really really cares of no one else than themselves and I'm thinking I'm probably one of them too.
    MiaHel MiaHel 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    I Don'T Know How Much Longer I Can Fake It.

    I'm not okay. I've been fighting this darkness for years. I've been fighting myself for years. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Ha. Either way one side loses and wins every time. It's just which side. The said that says smile through it, you'll make it. Or the side that...
    lalalaarawrr lalalaarawrr 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    I'm generally probably not ok,

    even though I say I am.
    trayomis trayomis 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    If you wanted honesty that's all you had

    so say. I never thought I'd let you down or have you go "it's better off this way".
    Brimmless Brimmless 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2014

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    Stuck in a horrible rut everything is the same

    nothing changed I'm sick of life. For 6 years now same bedsit still no boyfriend no successful job nothing goes right and and I'm in a vicious circle. Online dating has been disastrous and I have one tiny room to live in a tiny bedsit . Family don't help just brag about their...
    kittykat789 kittykat789 31-35, F Oct 12, 2014

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    im reallyyy horny right now

    and i want someone to turn me off cuz i dont want to **********..im quitting ************
    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    I am not. And when everyone asks I say I am.

    I am tired of saying I am not, and even though I am still not, I say I am. Maybe if I continue to say I am then I will be. Fingers crossed, I hope some day I will not feel like crying.
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 13-15, F Nov 11, 2014

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    because my friends graduated today,

    but since I moved to another country to pursue my dream career, I didn't graduate, instead I watched the graduation video with nostalgia.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21, 2014

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    Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”,

    what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000".
    Synthessisong Synthessisong 16-17, F Aug 11, 2014

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    So today is not a good day.

    I graduated and every one I know is already in college or preparing to go to college next week and I start late. I have no one to talk to, I can't reach any of my siblings or my best friend. I am so sick of wasting my day by watching stuff online. My ears hurt from listening...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2014

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    If somebody asks me "how are you?

    " or "Are you ok?" I WILL respond with "I'm fine!! How are you?" I will plaster that smile on my face and avoid talking about myself at all costs. But I'm lying. I'm not okay. I wonder if I have ever been okay. I am hurting inside and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    ravenzewolf ravenzewolf 13-15, F Oct 21, 2014

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    I'm definitely not working my hardest at school

    this year and my grades a suffering because of it
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2014

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    Its pathetic how people think they can comment

    on your profile nasty things or target someone personally. EP is here to post experiences and/or ask for advice or help. Yet people are using it to target people and be nasty or harass the vulnerable. EP needs to change its rules
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    No, no I'm ******* not.

    People would know this if they could be bothered to ask. I need new friends.
    ShatteredSoundwaves ShatteredSoundwaves 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 19

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    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

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    Nothing is going the way I thought it would be

    going. I'm only 18 I don't know where I thought Id be but it wasn't here. It makes me stressed just thinking about it all. I'm just not okay ...
    username1767 username1767 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2014

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    Actually, I'm worst than not ok.

    I would say depressed but that word is so overused. People use it to express their sadness. I thought I was depressed, because I thought about suicide all the time. My life sucks, worthless, lonely, that's always the common theme. For years, I've use my sadness as an excuse to...
    feint30 feint30 26-30, M 4 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    smilingtolie smilingtolie 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    its true. we will all always be okay. thats how we got to the top of the food chain. we adapt. to adapt we must not accept what appears to be a fatal situation as a fatal situation...
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    "im okay..." "you sure?" "yes.." "okay" i want you to look me in the eye and say that you know damn well that im not okay
    classylips classylips 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    I thought I was okay. But then a friend sincerely asked me "are you okay?". Then it hit me. I nodded and hold it in till I reach home. I locked myself in my room and just cried...
    nonymousee nonymousee 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 6

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    I was bullied in my second hour people were talking about if I had cancer or not I had a bad cough because I was laughing at my friends but the reactions of my friends were...
    CookieMonsta16 CookieMonsta16 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    okay fever of 101. stuck at second job. I'd go home, but no one to relieve me. ah customer service.... smile, how can I help you? only 5 hours left.
    regalshewolf regalshewolf 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 6

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    I also hate when people try to push the "be positive" crap on you. I understand that negative thinking all the time is unhealthy but they should understand not everyone is good at...
    CynicalIntrovert CynicalIntrovert 18-21, F Jan 14

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    I've been naked in my yard plenty of times without any care in the world. I would've thought my neighbors would be offended by my nakedness but they're are okay with it. At least...
    TREMAINE28 TREMAINE28 26-30, M 4 Responses Jan 20

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    I am okay these days. I can't believe how long I have been on EP and how much I have written. I would usually put my thoughts in a journal, but posting online, and having someone...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Because "I'm okay" means "There's nothing else I could do. It happened. That's it."
    SweeterThanToblerone SweeterThanToblerone 13-15, F a week ago

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    I think it is okay to be single. I am single. It is fine with me. As long as I am single no one can seriously ask me why I am single. I have told people. It is hard. I am single...
    socialskillstraining socialskillstraining 31-35, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Even when I feel like the entire world just slapped me and told me to **** off, I try smile and say I'm alright. On the inside I'm dying but on the outside I'm smiling.
    SympatheticMe SympatheticMe 18-21, F Dec 30, 2014

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