I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,226 People

    Today I lost a best friend.

    At the same time I sit here holding the hand of my mother as she is dying. This is so overwhelming. It feels like my world falling apart. I am not ok!!
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Mar 23, 2015

    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA
    1 Response Aug 27, 2014

    Invisible-Hunter Hayes It's been a huge

    explanation on my life right now and it sucks. I was called a lesbian today and got made fun of since I hang out with a lot of guys but haven't dated them yet so they kinda stopped talking to me for a "while" and it's been a week! The same stuff happened to me in 1st-6th grade...
    musicspeakstome musicspeakstome
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 14, 2015
    Brianaaaaa Brianaaaaa
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2015
    SilverSapphireDragon SilverSapphireDragon
    16-17, M
    3 Responses Dec 14, 2015

    I am ruined. Broken. My counsellor has ruined

    me! I used to be good at bottling things up and just getting on or some how coping. But she made me trust her and open up to her and then she left. Just like that. Left without telling me how to put the lid back onto Pandora's box. Yeah in some way it's good, but I can't stop...
    js246 js246
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 10, 2015

    I wish I wasn't so alone.

    I wish everything wasn't so difficult. I wish everything was just okay!
    justagirl1901 justagirl1901
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 16, 2016

    Sometimes, being not okay is okay.

    We grow. We learn new things. Most importantly, being okay means we try to be OK and this means, we're getting stronger. I guess this life is just making me stronger. Maybe it'll keep making me strong until I'll be lifeless..
    deleted deleted
    Mar 24, 2015

    end of 32--yr marriage.

    oldest son in heaven.middle son alcoholic and homeless. husband abusive. need major dental work but have no money. i give up.
    sarahgiles sarahgiles
    51-55, F
    1 Response Nov 9, 2015

    How is it possible that someone

    who I gave everything to just dropped me for someone else?
    gabbieceleste gabbieceleste
    Jun 28, 2015
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Nov 15, 2014

    I have been feeling off all week.

    I know that I've been in the midst of relapsing. Yesterday was horrible. I was up until 5 crying, and I just really needed to cut. But I didn't. I've been clawing at myself since I've woken up though. I really need to get back on the pills, and I just really really need to cut...
    tmoonie tmoonie
    18-21, F
    Nov 6, 2015

    I'm not okay. I'm so scared.

    I'm so lost at the moment, constantly telling myself that everything will be back to normal. But the more I tell myself it will be okay the more it hurts. I can't mentally handle this. If what happened happens again I have to leave. Just the thought of that makes me sick to my...
    EleanorSmithson EleanorSmithson
    22-25, F
    Aug 25, 2015
    SarcasticBitch1738 SarcasticBitch1738
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    So, I had an MRI done a couple of years ago,

    back before I had good insurance. It was 300 dollars, and having not worked since 2010, there was no way I could pay it at the time. So it went to a collection agency. Well, this collection agency is the most inefficient ******* group of people in the world. I paid the last two...
    thecraziestpanda thecraziestpanda
    26-30, M
    Apr 5, 2016

    At one point or another.

    We must all face the monsters inside. And whether they do good or bad depends on the kind of person you are. Starve them and you'll never know, but feed them and you'll regret it. It's time I faced facts. I am not okay. I never will be. Let me explain why. For as long as I can...
    Darktooth41 Darktooth41
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jul 8, 2015

    As much as I tell people

    that I am, as many times as I try to convince myself that everything is okay, everything is in fact not okay. I don't feel the way I used to. I've slowly been losing myself and I've been getting suicidal thoughts a lot. There's a voice in my head telling me that everyone in my...
    FromAntoinette FromAntoinette
    1 Response Jan 23, 2016
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    Jun 14, 2015

    I keep blabbing on about how life sucks to

    everyone. I need to stop. FFS! When did this happen?!?! There was a time when no one knew a thing about me IRL. No one could even suspect that I had a miserable life. Now look at me!!! I practically f***ing broadcast it. I don't even feel comfortable with it because I hate...
    js246 js246
    26-30, F
    1 Response Oct 14, 2015

    I am a very insecure jealous person in a

    relationship. I never used to be like this. I acknowledge it's because I don't like myself. I acknowledge it's my problem. No matter what anyone could say to me, I still tend to believe what I believe. That is other females are better than I am. They're more seemly, way more...
    Jordbaerbonnie Jordbaerbonnie
    31-35, F
    Mar 19, 2016

    I wanna just sleep and numb my pain,

    I wanna forget my feelings, I wanna stop crying... but I can't, I was so happy for a while, and now I'm back to feeling horrible and I'm probably annoying everyone. So I'll wipe my tears, plaster a smile and of course pretend I'm okay. The only time I'll reveal my true feelings...
    colorfulrainbow19 colorfulrainbow19
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 8, 2016

    School honestly sucks

    for the kids that have anxiety. And I know mine could be worse, but just thinking about getting up in front of a classroom to present makes me want to run away and hide. But of course I can't. And it makes me sad. I wish I could confront my mother with all my problems, but I...
    ZiggyZebra ZiggyZebra
    16-17, F
    Oct 21, 2015

    I wasn't yesterday but I am today.

    Tomorrow might be rain and by Sunday raging fires. I'm all over the showroom selling you something to admire, take you for a test drive to deliver to another buyer. I am Not Okay; too much has gone wrong, I've started writing rhymes while humming my own song. I am...
    SoberingBabySteps SoberingBabySteps
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jul 7, 2015

    I feel like I will never be okay.

    Not matter how hard I try, it will never be enough to deserve the truth. I wish I was worthy of the truth. I wish I didn't have to dig and beg for it. I wish I was okay.
    oddpodd oddpodd
    22-25, F
    Jan 2, 2016

    Why am I attracted to women

    that other guys consider ugly?
    shvn shvn
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Nov 8, 2015

    My dads in the hospital.

    .. His heart is ****** up... I can't keep listening o the words "chest pains again..." My friends are broken and I can't help cause I am the same... My stomach aches cause the cuts that run deep... My mom yells and I can't take it... She's stressed I know.. I am scared they'll...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 20, 2015

    lately I've just been fighting over people

    about my depression etc. hardly anybody will talk or try helping me anymore the once person I did really like gave up on me I'm stressing at 6 f,s family problems missing my sister etc. I'm just really not okay
    imlivingbutdead imlivingbutdead
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    I am stressed,sad,lonely,

    worried and feel soooo ******* down today so yes obviously I'm not okay. I'm emotionally and physically not okay.
    akirayuuki akirayuuki
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    I don't deserve to have friends,

    especially ones that care so much about me and are willing to help. All I do is take them for granted. I'm a horrible ******* person. Please no comments, nothing anyone says is going to make me feel better about myself. I know I'm a bad friend and a bad person
    ACyanideSurprise ACyanideSurprise
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    Since high school started,

    I've been feeling more sad than usual. And it's not because of the school work, I don't really mind that. It's because I get to see all these people who have so many friends that you can obviously tell care about them. And then there's me. The awkward, lonely girl who can't even...
    ZiggyZebra ZiggyZebra
    16-17, F
    Oct 19, 2015
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015
    Irvyy Irvyy
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    I’m not okay. I’ve said some things

    that I regret. I had let my thoughts and feelings get the best of me. I was feeling doubtful, insecure, and still being belittled. I realized my wrong doings and confessed but it was too late to take any of it back. Last night, and all day today, I’ve been upset and crying. It...
    pumkin106 pumkin106
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 31, 2015

    I can't sleep.. I've barely been eating.

    . I feel like such a ******* failure to everyone.. ugh this is ******* great..
    WeighMeDown WeighMeDown
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2015

    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 23, 2013

    I am not okay. I haven't been okay.

    Everytime something good happens, something worse happens. I am not okay. My manic depression has been going crazy, and I can't even keep up with myself. I am not okay. I have never been okay
    RxpperGirl RxpperGirl
    18-21, F
    Mar 24, 2015
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    1 Response Nov 9, 2015

    All there's left to do

    for me is complaining. I can't stand it anymore, this city, these people. Everybody disappoints, in one way or another, they all do. And people will never turn out the way you think they would. One moment they might seem to be your shelter, your best friend, lover or even your...
    BMTH99 BMTH99
    18-21, F
    Apr 5, 2015
    Xynia Xynia
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 17, 2015

    i am not okay... i don't

    even know how to deal with my self
    imurs11 imurs11
    18-21, F
    Oct 5, 2015

    If somebody asks me "how are you?

    " or "Are you ok?" I WILL respond with "I'm fine!! How are you?" I will plaster that smile on my face and avoid talking about myself at all costs. But I'm lying. I'm not okay. I wonder if I have ever been okay. I am hurting inside and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 22, 2014

    I feel like I am being squeezed right now.

    And all I can do is sit here in darkness, alone. I'm typing this as some sort of relief but it's not really working. I know no one will read this, and that no one can help me. But maybe, just maybe... If I can articulate it... Maybe I can try to just understand it. I've been...
    TubaAtheist TubaAtheist
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Mar 27, 2015

    Hey guys seeing as this app is shutting down I

    thought how about we follow each other on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook? Kik- rachelx2002 Twitter- @beautgraveyard / @raubrey8 (I have 2 accounts Instagram- raubrey8 Facebook - https://m.facebook.com/rachelann.aubrey?fref=nf
    Raubrey8 Raubrey8
    18-21, F
    Mar 24, 2016

    Had another break down two days ago.

    It was bad. I was angry and the tears wouldn't stop coming. God, I'm glad it didn't last for hours.
    ZiggyZebra ZiggyZebra
    16-17, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    Why can't people love me back.

    ..? Do I just always fall for unaffectionet people or people that will never love me back... I feel like I am always in a one sided relationship with people that know exactly what I want but don't care about how I feel...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls
    18-21, F
    Mar 24, 2015

    This darkness is suffocating me.

    It’s killing me slowly and I feel it. I feel the numbness rush through my soul, the cracks tearing at my heart. It’s trapping me and I see no escape. I want this suffering to end, I don’t have patience to wait it out. It’ll kill me before I kill it. I want to breathe...
    BeingSara BeingSara
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 15, 2015

    I used to cut looking away fast

    and quick but the pain is so intense that I look I go extra slowly over my arm I watch as the line goes from intense red to bloody in seconds I watch the blood run down still no tears
    00Broken00 00Broken00
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 4, 2015

    I'm really not. And I haven't been,

    and I don't really know when I stopped being okay. But it has been building and building, and I feel like I am going to have a break down and crash and burn at some point in the not-so-distant future. I have been trying to find a therapist that will accept my insurance for...
    thecraziestpanda thecraziestpanda
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Nov 20, 2015

    I know about 9 times out of 10

    when I say I am ok, I'm not. It's my robotic go to saying. . . I usually have at least 10 things in my head that I am constantly worried about. . . The thing is I have no control over them which just makes me anxious even more. I wish I could just let them go. . . and focus on...
    RebekahWriter13 RebekahWriter13
    31-35, F
    Mar 4, 2016

    Loosing my mind and knowing it's

    because of myself. I don't know what to do....I miss you!
    lovestoostrong lovestoostrong
    26-30, F
    Mar 2, 2016
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