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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 255 People

    I Hate Admitting It Too =/

    The hardest thing for me to admit to myself, to my friends, and even to people that I don't know, is that I am not okay. I want so badly to appear strong all the time, and like I can handle just about anything that life throws my way. I want to be the one that people feel like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 19, 2010

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    I'm a strong person, told by my friends

    that I can cope with anything and that they respect me and I'm the strongest person they know. But sitting alone, on my own, the last thing I feel is strong. I don't cry, I don't show how scared or sad I am - but its growing inside me and I don't know how to stop it or deal...
    lostinthebigwideworld lostinthebigwideworld 18-21, F May 28

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    I'm Really Not

    I'm really not okay. I try to be. I work hard to improve myself and to try to make my life better. To panic less. To handle life more. Not to fall into a deep depression over outside influences I can not control. But it's hard. I have no help from anyone and this life is so hard...
    ItchyWitch82 ItchyWitch82 26-30, F Oct 24, 2011

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    I Love God, But I'm Not Okay With Him Right Now.

    I've been plagued by depression for nearly five years; the stress sometimes interferes with me trying to function. But that's not why I'm upset with God. I'm upset with God, because my Grandma died a couple weeks ago. And because my uncle died a week ago. And yesterday I found...
    Zerelja Zerelja 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2010

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    xXxXxMissMurderxXxXx xXxXxMissMurderxXxXx 16-17, F Jun 29

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    Its so difficult to see him online,

    and dont say nothing.
    monicafixe monicafixe 18-21, F Jul 22

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    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    minidisaster minidisaster 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    I just called the Samaritans.

    Desperate for help. I want to beat depression but it's no use
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response May 1

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    i am not ok.. i feel like i really need someone

    and i have someone to talk to but he leaves every time but he tries.. I just want to be honest.. Tonight is the night i brake me and his promise.... Thomas I'm sorry for every thing.. and I'm sorry for taking a blade and cutting my wrist....
    loveyanoone loveyanoone 16-17, F Feb 10

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    I Need To Relax More But They Won't Let Me

    I am a high school student and I feel like I never stop working. Every day I wake up at 6:30 to a painfully blaring alarm, struggle to get ready for school before 7:00 even though I'm half asleep, catch the bus, and stay at school until 2:30 then have a half hour bus ride and get...
    Gentlenotshy Gentlenotshy 13-15, F Jan 31, 2010

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    I feel like I'm trapped.

    I don't feel happy and I know letting go of someone close eventually might make me happy. Where as them being a part of my life is really draining me and hurting me. But I don't know what to do. I love them
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F Aug 10

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    Now I and my partner are not in good terms.

    He don't want to answer my skype calls and he said he don't want to talk to me. And for all of this I would say I am not okay. Now I just waiting him to chat or communicate, because the more I forced myself to talk to him the more I am hurted.
    savvyflores savvyflores 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    Yesterday I was talking to me best guy friend

    who I still like, and my best girl friend. He told me that he liked her.. I asked her if she liked him, and eventually she said yes. He has just recently broken up with one of our other friends. Neither one of them wanted to hurt her. Both of them asked me if it was wrong. Do...
    ItsAllASecret ItsAllASecret 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    I Am Not Okay.

    I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, and **** I AM NOT OKAY!! And **** you people for not caring.  **** my friends, my family. And **** me, for pretending like they actually care, like I actually mean something...
    moonlit1 moonlit1 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2009

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    Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”,

    what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000".
    HaruhiOnAQuest HaruhiOnAQuest 16-17, F Aug 11

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    I can't even eat properly from worrying about

    my boyfriend and his bad influencing friends. After the last few weeks I've just began constantly worrying after he lied to me pretending he was in danger and doing drugs. And last night I threw up from the constant nervousness and worrying. I'm making myself more ill yet I can...
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    But today I feel happier

    so maybe things are getting better
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    Round And Round

    Nightmares, medications, hospitalizations, overdoses, group homes. i will never be okay..........just one more cog messing with the gears. I go around and around and get nowhere except where I began from.
    bluehaiku bluehaiku 41-45, F Nov 7, 2010

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    I Don'T Know How Much Longer I Can Fake It.

    I'm not okay. I've been fighting this darkness for years. I've been fighting myself for years. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Ha. Either way one side loses and wins every time. It's just which side. The said that says smile through it, you'll make it. Or the side that...
    lalalaarawrr lalalaarawrr 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    It Doesn't Go Away

    I seem happy.. and I'm not faking it, it's just my personality to be bubbly and bouncy, and singing and being aloof.. and unfocused, and looking generally blissful. Then I go home and cry because of how frustrating my life is. I have severe ADHD, I can't focus on anything...
    CaptainJenny CaptainJenny 22-25, F May 27, 2012

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    CompassionateCoffee CompassionateCoffee 13-15 1 Response Apr 21

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    I Am Not Ok Most Of The Time.

    the first time i was in therapy i must have been about 6 years old. i was being treated for depression, night terrors and sleep walking, well running in my case. therapy was almost a constant til i was about 16 or 17. depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders. i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    im reallyyy horny right now

    and i want someone to turn me off cuz i dont want to **********..im quitting ************
    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    You Know

    you know..you know when people lie.. you know..you know when people change... you know but you don't know why.. in a sudden they begin to act strange.. you know..you know when you cry.. they pretend like they really care.. you know but you don't know why.. they still think you're...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 5

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    Day 11 And Its Not Getting Better

    I have suffered with suicidal thoughts and tendencies for many years and it had been getting better from the therapy and my coping techniques I learned in the hospital when I was admitted. I was able to overcome the attempts and many of the side effects of being clinically...
    c0nfus3ds0ul c0nfus3ds0ul 18-21, F Nov 20, 2013

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    Sharp!

    Sharp ears, sharp pencils, sharp eyes, sharp scissors, sharp music key, sharp penknife. So many sharp things. So many different uses. I use sharp ears to listen out for compliments and insults. I use sharp pencils to draw brilliant things. Abstract art that no-one...
    KyokoSora KyokoSora 13-15, F Aug 2, 2013

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    Nothing is going the way I thought it would be

    going. I'm only 18 I don't know where I thought Id be but it wasn't here. It makes me stressed just thinking about it all. I'm just not okay ...
    username1767 username1767 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    Such a cliche thing, bad break up thing.

    Left me scarred tbh, everyday I'm trying to smile. Trying to forget it yet he's always in the back of my mind. I'm helpless. Feels like I'm stuck in quicksand just wasting away.
    teebagg teebagg 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    "What's wrong" they ask.

    I'm just tired. Ha they all believe me when they don't know that I am secretly planning in suicide and you call me stupid.
    Thatgirl213 Thatgirl213 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 21

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    This is one talent I've mastered.... But I'm not okay..... I won't be okay...... If I don't have you.......
    Sadgirlwithoutarazor1 Sadgirlwithoutarazor1 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 31

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    Today I was at the beach. I had to pretend I was okay, but I wasn't ******* okay, one of my bestfriends has cancer. Why do bad things happen to good people?
    BeATrueHeartNotAFollower BeATrueHeartNotAFollower 16-17, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Do I look okay? Going to a friends houseee😁 comment?😘
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 24

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    Well I'm not smiling or laughing but I think this is okay IG fascinates me and my source of finding things FB is lame and stupid This one is kinda cool You got to meet a lot...
    geezzo geezzo 26-30, M Jul 30

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    I usually tell my friends when I'm depressed (which is every night) but at this point I feel like I'm just bothering them... So I'm going to not and pretend like I'm okay and happy...
    cloudyskyler cloudyskyler 22-25, T 1 Response Aug 4

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    What would you say about my teeth?
    Iv0ry Iv0ry 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Things seem to be getting better with my sister managing herself better. I have more opportunity to improve the rest.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M Jul 23

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    I just joined..I'm recently going through a breakup a few weeks ago I lived with my ex, I received a text message from him..he was out in the field for a couple weeks, he'd call me...
    Denise13190 Denise13190 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 23

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    You know? Life is full of ups and downs an exact description of how a roller coster is; it's scary, unpredictable and full of surprises yet at the same time it teaches us to be...
    Angelanorexic Angelanorexic 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    I have to pretend I'm happy for happiness of others, if I'm not ok other people will harm themselves, if I feel upset other people cry, if I feel like just sleeping all day people...
    Meeppeep Meeppeep 16-17, M Jul 26

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    I'm always naked in my yard when no one is home. It's my yard so the neighbors can deal with it if one of them happens to see me.
    EastTNNudist EastTNNudist 18-21, M 4 Responses Jul 27

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    For so long I've wanted someone to just tell me they will look after me and everything will be ok. I realised last night that there's no reason that person can't be me :)
    Magdamay Magdamay 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 28

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    It has been a while since i wrote about what i do in this life. You see as i love all people around me at ep or around the world. they don't love me and i am not like need to have...
    Egyptianguy34 Egyptianguy34 31-35, M Jul 31

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    There's nothing bad about being gay or lesbian or bisexual. I think that no one should be hated/judged for their sexuality.
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 3

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