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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 387 People

    You Know

    you know..you know when people lie.. you know..you know when people change... you know but you don't know why.. in a sudden they begin to act strange.. you know..you know when you cry.. they pretend like they really care.. you know but you don't know why.. they still think you're...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response May 1

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    Stuck in a horrible rut everything is the same

    nothing changed I'm sick of life. For 6 years now same bedsit still no boyfriend no successful job nothing goes right and and I'm in a vicious circle. Online dating has been disastrous and I have one tiny room to live in a tiny bedsit . Family don't help just brag about their...
    kittykat789 kittykat789 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    I can't even eat properly from worrying about

    my boyfriend and his bad influencing friends. After the last few weeks I've just began constantly worrying after he lied to me pretending he was in danger and doing drugs. And last night I threw up from the constant nervousness and worrying. I'm making myself more ill yet I can...
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 15

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    I Need To Relax More But They Won't Let Me

    I am a high school student and I feel like I never stop working. Every day I wake up at 6:30 to a painfully blaring alarm, struggle to get ready for school before 7:00 even though I'm half asleep, catch the bus, and stay at school until 2:30 then have a half hour bus ride and get...
    Gentlenotshy Gentlenotshy 13-15, F Jan 31, 2010

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    Such a cliche thing, bad break up thing.

    Left me scarred tbh, everyday I'm trying to smile. Trying to forget it yet he's always in the back of my mind. I'm helpless. Feels like I'm stuck in quicksand just wasting away.
    teebagg teebagg 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    Sharp!

    Sharp ears, sharp pencils, sharp eyes, sharp scissors, sharp music key, sharp penknife. So many sharp things. So many different uses. I use sharp ears to listen out for compliments and insults. I use sharp pencils to draw brilliant things. Abstract art that no-one...
    KyokoSora KyokoSora 13-15, F Aug 2, 2013

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    TURNS OUT MY BF was with 3 girls last night

    getting up to no good! Better than him! I'm better than this :)
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    minidisaster minidisaster 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    So today is not a good day.

    I graduated and every one I know is already in college or preparing to go to college next week and I start late. I have no one to talk to, I can't reach any of my siblings or my best friend. I am so sick of wasting my day by watching stuff online. My ears hurt from listening...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F Sep 18

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    Its so difficult to see him online,

    and dont say nothing.
    monicafixe monicafixe 18-21, F Jul 22

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    But today I feel happier

    so maybe things are getting better
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    im reallyyy horny right now

    and i want someone to turn me off cuz i dont want to **********..im quitting ************
    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    ravenzewolf ravenzewolf 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    I feel so depressed right now.

    I haven't been this depressed in a while. It scares me because I don't want to go back to the way things used to be, I just want to be better. I have depression, anxiety, and dissociative identity disorder. No matter what I do I feel like I can't stop feeling like crap. This is...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 28

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    Day 11 And Its Not Getting Better

    I have suffered with suicidal thoughts and tendencies for many years and it had been getting better from the therapy and my coping techniques I learned in the hospital when I was admitted. I was able to overcome the attempts and many of the side effects of being clinically...
    c0nfus3ds0ul c0nfus3ds0ul 18-21, F Nov 20, 2013

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    If somebody asks me "how are you?

    " or "Are you ok?" I WILL respond with "I'm fine!! How are you?" I will plaster that smile on my face and avoid talking about myself at all costs. But I'm lying. I'm not okay. I wonder if I have ever been okay. I am hurting inside and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Just find it hard to see the purpose

    for living. People disappoint me, life disappoints me and I disappoint myself. Everything is fake and in the end of the day no one really really cares of no one else than themselves and I'm thinking I'm probably one of them too.
    MiaHel MiaHel 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 22

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    because, I left my country

    and all my friends and moved to this hell hole, I hate people here and I'm damn sure they are not fond of me either, I lost my friends and I can't make new ones..
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21

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    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 1 Response Aug 27

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    I Love God, But I'm Not Okay With Him Right Now.

    I've been plagued by depression for nearly five years; the stress sometimes interferes with me trying to function. But that's not why I'm upset with God. I'm upset with God, because my Grandma died a couple weeks ago. And because my uncle died a week ago. And yesterday I found...
    Zerelja Zerelja 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2010

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    I feel like I'm trapped.

    I don't feel happy and I know letting go of someone close eventually might make me happy. Where as them being a part of my life is really draining me and hurting me. But I don't know what to do. I love them
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F Aug 10

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    "What's wrong" they ask.

    I'm just tired. Ha they all believe me when they don't know that I am secretly planning in suicide and you call me stupid.
    Thatgirl213 Thatgirl213 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 21

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    CompassionateCoffee CompassionateCoffee 13-15 1 Response Apr 21

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    Now I and my partner are not in good terms.

    He don't want to answer my skype calls and he said he don't want to talk to me. And for all of this I would say I am not okay. Now I just waiting him to chat or communicate, because the more I forced myself to talk to him the more I am hurted.
    savvyflores savvyflores 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    I Hate Admitting It Too =/

    The hardest thing for me to admit to myself, to my friends, and even to people that I don't know, is that I am not okay. I want so badly to appear strong all the time, and like I can handle just about anything that life throws my way. I want to be the one that people feel like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 19, 2010

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    Yesterday I was talking to me best guy friend

    who I still like, and my best girl friend. He told me that he liked her.. I asked her if she liked him, and eventually she said yes. He has just recently broken up with one of our other friends. Neither one of them wanted to hurt her. Both of them asked me if it was wrong. Do...
    ItsAllASecret ItsAllASecret 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    Nothing is going the way I thought it would be

    going. I'm only 18 I don't know where I thought Id be but it wasn't here. It makes me stressed just thinking about it all. I'm just not okay ...
    username1767 username1767 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    I Don'T Know How Much Longer I Can Fake It.

    I'm not okay. I've been fighting this darkness for years. I've been fighting myself for years. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Ha. Either way one side loses and wins every time. It's just which side. The said that says smile through it, you'll make it. Or the side that...
    lalalaarawrr lalalaarawrr 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    going though surgeries is not easy,

    especially when you're alone.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 24

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    I want to die. Everything in my life is falling

    apart. I started cutting again... I just wish I could end this pain. I'm so scared and alone...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    I Am Not Ok Most Of The Time.

    the first time i was in therapy i must have been about 6 years old. i was being treated for depression, night terrors and sleep walking, well running in my case. therapy was almost a constant til i was about 16 or 17. depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders. i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    I want to be normal again!

    One minute of thinking changed my life. I can't take this any longer. I want to stop that NOW! I can't tell this anyone of my friends. Wish me good luck, that I can be happy again.
    anjaimayer anjaimayer 13-15, F Sep 8

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    because my friends graduated today,

    but since I moved to another country to pursue my dream career, I didn't graduate, instead I watched the graduation video with nostalgia.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 5

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    Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”,

    what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000".
    Synthessisong Synthessisong 16-17, F Aug 11

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    Round And Round

    Nightmares, medications, hospitalizations, overdoses, group homes. i will never be okay..........just one more cog messing with the gears. I go around and around and get nowhere except where I began from.
    bluehaiku bluehaiku 41-45, F Nov 7, 2010

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    CynicalSkin CynicalSkin 16-17, F Jun 29

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    I just called the Samaritans.

    Desperate for help. I want to beat depression but it's no use
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    It Doesn't Go Away

    I seem happy.. and I'm not faking it, it's just my personality to be bubbly and bouncy, and singing and being aloof.. and unfocused, and looking generally blissful. Then I go home and cry because of how frustrating my life is. I have severe ADHD, I can't focus on anything...
    CaptainJenny CaptainJenny 22-25, F May 27, 2012

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    I'm Really Not

    I'm really not okay. I try to be. I work hard to improve myself and to try to make my life better. To panic less. To handle life more. Not to fall into a deep depression over outside influences I can not control. But it's hard. I have no help from anyone and this life is so hard...
    ItchyWitch82 ItchyWitch82 26-30, F Oct 24, 2011

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    While I was sleeping I guess I moved around too

    much and my cuts opened up and now there's blood on my sheets. Does anyone know how to take out blood stains from sheets?
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    I Am Not Okay.

    I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, and **** I AM NOT OKAY!! And **** you people for not caring.  **** my friends, my family. And **** me, for pretending like they actually care, like I actually mean something...
    moonlit1 moonlit1 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2009

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    Its pathetic how people think they can comment

    on your profile nasty things or target someone personally. EP is here to post experiences and/or ask for advice or help. Yet people are using it to target people and be nasty or harass the vulnerable. EP needs to change its rules
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 7

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    I'm a strong person, told by my friends

    that I can cope with anything and that they respect me and I'm the strongest person they know. But sitting alone, on my own, the last thing I feel is strong. I don't cry, I don't show how scared or sad I am - but its growing inside me and I don't know how to stop it or deal...
    lostinthebigwideworld lostinthebigwideworld 18-21, F May 28

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    I'm okay, I'm good, I'm fine ... that's what I always say. I say it to just about everyone, even when I'm shattered and broken inside and absolutely at my darkest. . Last night I...
    SolitaireDiamond SolitaireDiamond 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Everyday. I get up, get ready and leave for school. I'll smile and nod whilst my mum and brother talk. I get to school and do the same. Smile, Nod and laugh at things. But deep...
    NobodyCaresOkai NobodyCaresOkai 13-15, F Sep 27

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    Very damn good at covering up and pretending that I'm okay. I use a smile and humor to cover up, only to be cracking inside. Lately I can't pretend that I'm okay anymore
    cjohnson1983 cjohnson1983 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 11

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    Yesterday and the day before (September 30 and October 1st) are the days I consider to be my "anniversary" for the day I was sexually assaulted. I just had a smile on my face when...
    bubblefishkiss bubblefishkiss 26-30, F Oct 2

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    cheating is not okay. it hurts the other person. if you love them then you shouldnt cheat. there is no reason for it. even if you got drunk and had sex. thats no reason you should...
    picofire picofire 22-25, M Oct 4

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