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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 278 People

    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    minidisaster minidisaster 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    I feel so depressed right now.

    I haven't been this depressed in a while. It scares me because I don't want to go back to the way things used to be, I just want to be better. I have depression, anxiety, and dissociative identity disorder. No matter what I do I feel like I can't stop feeling like crap. This is...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Now I and my partner are not in good terms.

    He don't want to answer my skype calls and he said he don't want to talk to me. And for all of this I would say I am not okay. Now I just waiting him to chat or communicate, because the more I forced myself to talk to him the more I am hurted.
    savvyflores savvyflores 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    I Am Not Okay.

    I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, and **** I AM NOT OKAY!! And **** you people for not caring.  **** my friends, my family. And **** me, for pretending like they actually care, like I actually mean something...
    moonlit1 moonlit1 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2009

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    Yesterday I was talking to me best guy friend

    who I still like, and my best girl friend. He told me that he liked her.. I asked her if she liked him, and eventually she said yes. He has just recently broken up with one of our other friends. Neither one of them wanted to hurt her. Both of them asked me if it was wrong. Do...
    ItsAllASecret ItsAllASecret 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    I'm a strong person, told by my friends

    that I can cope with anything and that they respect me and I'm the strongest person they know. But sitting alone, on my own, the last thing I feel is strong. I don't cry, I don't show how scared or sad I am - but its growing inside me and I don't know how to stop it or deal...
    lostinthebigwideworld lostinthebigwideworld 18-21, F May 28

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    I Don'T Know How Much Longer I Can Fake It.

    I'm not okay. I've been fighting this darkness for years. I've been fighting myself for years. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Ha. Either way one side loses and wins every time. It's just which side. The said that says smile through it, you'll make it. Or the side that...
    lalalaarawrr lalalaarawrr 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    I just called the Samaritans.

    Desperate for help. I want to beat depression but it's no use
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    Such a cliche thing, bad break up thing.

    Left me scarred tbh, everyday I'm trying to smile. Trying to forget it yet he's always in the back of my mind. I'm helpless. Feels like I'm stuck in quicksand just wasting away.
    teebagg teebagg 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I Need To Relax More But They Won't Let Me

    I am a high school student and I feel like I never stop working. Every day I wake up at 6:30 to a painfully blaring alarm, struggle to get ready for school before 7:00 even though I'm half asleep, catch the bus, and stay at school until 2:30 then have a half hour bus ride and get...
    Gentlenotshy Gentlenotshy 13-15, F Jan 31, 2010

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    But today I feel happier

    so maybe things are getting better
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    "What's wrong" they ask.

    I'm just tired. Ha they all believe me when they don't know that I am secretly planning in suicide and you call me stupid.
    Thatgirl213 Thatgirl213 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 21

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    CompassionateCoffee CompassionateCoffee 13-15 1 Response Apr 21

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    TheDaysAreADeathWish TheDaysAreADeathWish 16-17, F Jun 29

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    While I was sleeping I guess I moved around too

    much and my cuts opened up and now there's blood on my sheets. Does anyone know how to take out blood stains from sheets?
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Love God, But I'm Not Okay With Him Right Now.

    I've been plagued by depression for nearly five years; the stress sometimes interferes with me trying to function. But that's not why I'm upset with God. I'm upset with God, because my Grandma died a couple weeks ago. And because my uncle died a week ago. And yesterday I found...
    Zerelja Zerelja 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2010

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    I feel like I'm trapped.

    I don't feel happy and I know letting go of someone close eventually might make me happy. Where as them being a part of my life is really draining me and hurting me. But I don't know what to do. I love them
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F Aug 10

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    TURNS OUT MY BF was with 3 girls last night

    getting up to no good! Better than him! I'm better than this :)
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It Doesn't Go Away

    I seem happy.. and I'm not faking it, it's just my personality to be bubbly and bouncy, and singing and being aloof.. and unfocused, and looking generally blissful. Then I go home and cry because of how frustrating my life is. I have severe ADHD, I can't focus on anything...
    CaptainJenny CaptainJenny 22-25, F May 27, 2012

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    im reallyyy horny right now

    and i want someone to turn me off cuz i dont want to **********..im quitting ************
    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”,

    what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000".
    Synthesissong Synthesissong 16-17, F Aug 11

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    i am not ok.. i feel like i really need someone

    and i have someone to talk to but he leaves every time but he tries.. I just want to be honest.. Tonight is the night i brake me and his promise.... Thomas I'm sorry for every thing.. and I'm sorry for taking a blade and cutting my wrist....
    loveyanoone loveyanoone 16-17, F Feb 10

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    Day 11 And Its Not Getting Better

    I have suffered with suicidal thoughts and tendencies for many years and it had been getting better from the therapy and my coping techniques I learned in the hospital when I was admitted. I was able to overcome the attempts and many of the side effects of being clinically...
    c0nfus3ds0ul c0nfus3ds0ul 18-21, F Nov 20, 2013

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    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response May 1

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    I Am Not Ok Most Of The Time.

    the first time i was in therapy i must have been about 6 years old. i was being treated for depression, night terrors and sleep walking, well running in my case. therapy was almost a constant til i was about 16 or 17. depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders. i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 5

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    I Hate Admitting It Too =/

    The hardest thing for me to admit to myself, to my friends, and even to people that I don't know, is that I am not okay. I want so badly to appear strong all the time, and like I can handle just about anything that life throws my way. I want to be the one that people feel like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 19, 2010

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    I'm Really Not

    I'm really not okay. I try to be. I work hard to improve myself and to try to make my life better. To panic less. To handle life more. Not to fall into a deep depression over outside influences I can not control. But it's hard. I have no help from anyone and this life is so hard...
    ItchyWitch82 ItchyWitch82 26-30, F Oct 24, 2011

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    I can't even eat properly from worrying about

    my boyfriend and his bad influencing friends. After the last few weeks I've just began constantly worrying after he lied to me pretending he was in danger and doing drugs. And last night I threw up from the constant nervousness and worrying. I'm making myself more ill yet I can...
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 15

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    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Round And Round

    Nightmares, medications, hospitalizations, overdoses, group homes. i will never be okay..........just one more cog messing with the gears. I go around and around and get nowhere except where I began from.
    bluehaiku bluehaiku 41-45, F Nov 7, 2010

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    You Know

    you know..you know when people lie.. you know..you know when people change... you know but you don't know why.. in a sudden they begin to act strange.. you know..you know when you cry.. they pretend like they really care.. you know but you don't know why.. they still think you're...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    Sharp!

    Sharp ears, sharp pencils, sharp eyes, sharp scissors, sharp music key, sharp penknife. So many sharp things. So many different uses. I use sharp ears to listen out for compliments and insults. I use sharp pencils to draw brilliant things. Abstract art that no-one...
    KyokoSora KyokoSora 13-15, F Aug 2, 2013

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    Nothing is going the way I thought it would be

    going. I'm only 18 I don't know where I thought Id be but it wasn't here. It makes me stressed just thinking about it all. I'm just not okay ...
    username1767 username1767 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    Its so difficult to see him online,

    and dont say nothing.
    monicafixe monicafixe 18-21, F Jul 22

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    When you have Tourette's, you can't pretend to be okay, even when you're not. People notice and understand there's something wrong with you. When you have social anxiety and you...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 17

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    Today I was at the beach. I had to pretend I was okay, but I wasn't ******* okay, one of my bestfriends has cancer. Why do bad things happen to good people?
    BeATrueHeartNotAFollower BeATrueHeartNotAFollower 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 16

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    It's easier for me to pretend to be okay. Then it is to find someone who will listen and understand why I'm not okay. Something's are just too hard to say out loud to people
    Brok3nSoul Brok3nSoul 22-25, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    She's my best friend. He's my boyfriend. She's my mom. He's my brother. She's my sister. Every single one of them look into my eyes all the time. I look straight back and smile my...
    BeautifulBianca666 BeautifulBianca666 13-15, F 20 hrs ago

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    I usually tell my friends when I'm depressed (which is every night) but at this point I feel like I'm just bothering them... So I'm going to not and pretend like I'm okay and happy...
    cloudyskyler cloudyskyler 22-25, T 1 Response Aug 4

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    You know, your good at pretending your okay when the people around you just smiles when you say you're depressed..
    migs1910 migs1910 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 19

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    I am okay... I am free.. I am free from the depth of his hell. It is I who will not let him effect me. I am free because I let myself be.
    Mm8335 Mm8335 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    Nobody sees me behind this mask i wear. Pretending that you're fine when you're not is one of the most complicated and saddest thing in the world. Nobody knows how much you're...
    kmisfit123 kmisfit123 16-17, F Aug 2

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    There's nothing bad about being gay or lesbian or bisexual. I think that no one should be hated/judged for their sexuality.
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    I talked to people on Omegle...I have no clue why I thought it was safe in the first place. So then I talk to this guy on video chat and we got along so well until it went too far...
    erika514 erika514 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I have, of course, always known this but as of two minutes ago when I put myself down as a 'maybe' at an old friend's wedding invitation, it kind of hit home. I really avoid any...
    pretender2687 pretender2687 26-30, M Aug 18

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