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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 407 People

    Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”,

    what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000".
    Synthessisong Synthessisong 16-17, F Aug 11

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    If somebody asks me "how are you?

    " or "Are you ok?" I WILL respond with "I'm fine!! How are you?" I will plaster that smile on my face and avoid talking about myself at all costs. But I'm lying. I'm not okay. I wonder if I have ever been okay. I am hurting inside and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 22

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    Round And Round

    Nightmares, medications, hospitalizations, overdoses, group homes. i will never be okay..........just one more cog messing with the gears. I go around and around and get nowhere except where I began from.
    bluehaiku bluehaiku 41-45, F Nov 7, 2010

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    Nothing is going the way I thought it would be

    going. I'm only 18 I don't know where I thought Id be but it wasn't here. It makes me stressed just thinking about it all. I'm just not okay ...
    username1767 username1767 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    Stuck in a horrible rut everything is the same

    nothing changed I'm sick of life. For 6 years now same bedsit still no boyfriend no successful job nothing goes right and and I'm in a vicious circle. Online dating has been disastrous and I have one tiny room to live in a tiny bedsit . Family don't help just brag about their...
    kittykat789 kittykat789 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    smilingtolie smilingtolie 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 3

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    I Don'T Know How Much Longer I Can Fake It.

    I'm not okay. I've been fighting this darkness for years. I've been fighting myself for years. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Ha. Either way one side loses and wins every time. It's just which side. The said that says smile through it, you'll make it. Or the side that...
    lalalaarawrr lalalaarawrr 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    smilingtolie smilingtolie 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 2

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    While I was sleeping I guess I moved around too

    much and my cuts opened up and now there's blood on my sheets. Does anyone know how to take out blood stains from sheets?
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    TURNS OUT MY BF was with 3 girls last night

    getting up to no good! Better than him! I'm better than this :)
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 1 Response Aug 27

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    Its pathetic how people think they can comment

    on your profile nasty things or target someone personally. EP is here to post experiences and/or ask for advice or help. Yet people are using it to target people and be nasty or harass the vulnerable. EP needs to change its rules
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 7

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    But today I feel happier

    so maybe things are getting better
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    because, I left my country

    and all my friends and moved to this hell hole, I hate people here and I'm damn sure they are not fond of me either, I lost my friends and I can't make new ones..
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21

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    im reallyyy horny right now

    and i want someone to turn me off cuz i dont want to **********..im quitting ************
    mostafa01998 mostafa01998 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    So today is not a good day.

    I graduated and every one I know is already in college or preparing to go to college next week and I start late. I have no one to talk to, I can't reach any of my siblings or my best friend. I am so sick of wasting my day by watching stuff online. My ears hurt from listening...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 18

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    because my friends graduated today,

    but since I moved to another country to pursue my dream career, I didn't graduate, instead I watched the graduation video with nostalgia.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 21

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    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 5

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    I'm definitely not working my hardest at school

    this year and my grades a suffering because of it
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I Am Not Ok Most Of The Time.

    the first time i was in therapy i must have been about 6 years old. i was being treated for depression, night terrors and sleep walking, well running in my case. therapy was almost a constant til i was about 16 or 17. depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders. i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    I am not. And when everyone asks I say I am.

    I am tired of saying I am not, and even though I am still not, I say I am. Maybe if I continue to say I am then I will be. Fingers crossed, I hope some day I will not feel like crying.
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 13-15, F Nov 11

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    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    minidisaster minidisaster 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    I Love God, But I'm Not Okay With Him Right Now.

    I've been plagued by depression for nearly five years; the stress sometimes interferes with me trying to function. But that's not why I'm upset with God. I'm upset with God, because my Grandma died a couple weeks ago. And because my uncle died a week ago. And yesterday I found...
    Zerelja Zerelja 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2010

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    I Am Not Okay.

    I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, I am not okay, and **** I AM NOT OKAY!! And **** you people for not caring.  **** my friends, my family. And **** me, for pretending like they actually care, like I actually mean something...
    moonlit1 moonlit1 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2009

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    I hate my school I hate myself I hate everything

    and I just need peter to be here for me but he never is :'(
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F Oct 29

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    Now I and my partner are not in good terms.

    He don't want to answer my skype calls and he said he don't want to talk to me. And for all of this I would say I am not okay. Now I just waiting him to chat or communicate, because the more I forced myself to talk to him the more I am hurted.
    savvyflores savvyflores 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    I can't even eat properly from worrying about

    my boyfriend and his bad influencing friends. After the last few weeks I've just began constantly worrying after he lied to me pretending he was in danger and doing drugs. And last night I threw up from the constant nervousness and worrying. I'm making myself more ill yet I can...
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 15

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    Ok means zero killed.

    Ok means whatever. Ok means fine. Am f i n e. Not ok.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 15

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    I'm getting the urge to self harm ): I last

    self harmed 7 months ago today
    xXBeautifulTragedyXx xXBeautifulTragedyXx 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    I want to die. Everything in my life is falling

    apart. I started cutting again... I just wish I could end this pain. I'm so scared and alone...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    I feel so depressed right now.

    I haven't been this depressed in a while. It scares me because I don't want to go back to the way things used to be, I just want to be better. I have depression, anxiety, and dissociative identity disorder. No matter what I do I feel like I can't stop feeling like crap. This is...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 28

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    I feel like I'm trapped.

    I don't feel happy and I know letting go of someone close eventually might make me happy. Where as them being a part of my life is really draining me and hurting me. But I don't know what to do. I love them
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F Aug 10

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    I'm Really Not

    I'm really not okay. I try to be. I work hard to improve myself and to try to make my life better. To panic less. To handle life more. Not to fall into a deep depression over outside influences I can not control. But it's hard. I have no help from anyone and this life is so hard...
    ItchyWitch82 ItchyWitch82 26-30, F Oct 24, 2011

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    ravenzewolf ravenzewolf 13-15, F Oct 21

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    going though surgeries is not easy,

    especially when you're alone.
    NostalgicSpirit NostalgicSpirit 22-25, F Sep 24

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    Actually, I'm worst than not ok.

    I would say depressed but that word is so overused. People use it to express their sadness. I thought I was depressed, because I thought about suicide all the time. My life sucks, worthless, lonely, that's always the common theme. For years, I've use my sadness as an excuse to...
    feint30 feint30 26-30, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    Just find it hard to see the purpose

    for living. People disappoint me, life disappoints me and I disappoint myself. Everything is fake and in the end of the day no one really really cares of no one else than themselves and I'm thinking I'm probably one of them too.
    MiaHel MiaHel 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 22

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    I Hate Admitting It Too =/

    The hardest thing for me to admit to myself, to my friends, and even to people that I don't know, is that I am not okay. I want so badly to appear strong all the time, and like I can handle just about anything that life throws my way. I want to be the one that people feel like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 19, 2010

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    I just called the Samaritans.

    Desperate for help. I want to beat depression but it's no use
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    It's common It's normal And I'm used to it Btw..I'm fine..I'm okay.. :)
    bunnychubz bunnychubz 13-15, F Oct 23

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    i dont want people see my emotions. i dont know why. maybe because most often they are just giving their opinions that are not really suited on that. they will judge me all over...
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    I'm not okay not knowing everything
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    i fake a smile to hide the pain,yet i still wish someone looks closely enough and see how i am broken inside.sometimes even my friends can't realise it.they think i'm too emotional...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 28

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    But the truth is that I'm really not okay because there is so much stuff going on right now.
    therealsydster therealsydster 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    I study social work and for years and years I thought some feeling that I had were very wrong! `You just are not alowed to think this or feel that..` that´s what I used to tell...
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