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I Am Not Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 811 People

    No, no I'm ******* not.

    People would know this if they could be bothered to ask. I need new friends.
    ShatteredSoundwaves ShatteredSoundwaves 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 19

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    i feel bit of confused.

    ..i dont know if i made the right choice...when im still single,im practicing my profession as a nurse,but when we get married i had to give up my career,because we had a 1 y/o son and my husband wants me to stay in the house while he is working..after 2yrs of being together,i...
    yrinmairi25 yrinmairi25 26-30, F Mar 23

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    I'd have to say I'm fantastic at pretending I'm

    ok :P all I need to do is add a few emoticons and keep up the conversation then they never know I'm upset. I think I should get an award.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F Jun 21

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    I put on a smile everyday

    but no one can actually tell that I'm dying inside.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    Today I lost a best friend.

    At the same time I sit here holding the hand of my mother as she is dying. This is so overwhelming. It feels like my world falling apart. I am not ok!!
    sml4 sml4 46-50, F 5 Responses Mar 23

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    Anxiety and stress are hugging me today.

    I need help. I don't even know where to begin.
    asinc5157 asinc5157 16-17 1 Response Jun 14

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    to all my ep friends

    and family, i have something to say. i am not okay. i was getting better for months and i thought i was finely gonna beat depression once and for all, but something happened. something in my mind clicked i finely relised life is not gonna get better and im not gonna be stuck in...
    crazyhyperkid crazyhyperkid 13-15, M 3 Responses Mar 1

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    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    again. oh how doctors ?

    how nurses ? how how how ??? I am just so scared
    Thedepressedgirlatthewindow Thedepressedgirlatthewindow 16-17, F 2 Responses May 8

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    I hope to God the people I love love me.

    I hope I am not giving out my love with only pity in return. I really hope... I fear it so...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 16-17, F Mar 11

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    thickmadame25 thickmadame25 22-25, F Jun 15

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    Thenamesjess Thenamesjess 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I am not okay. I haven't been okay.

    Everytime something good happens, something worse happens. I am not okay. My manic depression has been going crazy, and I can't even keep up with myself. I am not okay. I have never been okay
    RxpperGirl RxpperGirl 18-21, F Mar 24

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    I hate being ignored.

    It hurts like eating broken glass! I'm so sick of trying to be friends with people who CLEARLY don't want to be. And everytime I give up on this guy I always get the urge to speak to him to try again. It never works. And he loves to play mind games by not replying to me, when I...
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 21

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    When people tell me they're fine,

    whe clearly they're sad, I want to be there for them and talk to them and let them know it's okay to cry. But when I'm sad or upset, I say I'm fine. And all they say is okay. And walk away.
    SomeDepressedTeenx SomeDepressedTeenx 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    "Are you ok?" I hear this question at least

    once a day. Three little words, to which the obvious answer is "I'm fine", but I never am. There's no way to tell the people who call themselves my 'friends' how I really feel. I've become an expert at faking that I'm ok, when inside I'm hurting so bad.
    SevenWaysToFakeIt SevenWaysToFakeIt 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2014

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    I am not. And when everyone asks I say I am.

    I am tired of saying I am not, and even though I am still not, I say I am. Maybe if I continue to say I am then I will be. Fingers crossed, I hope some day I will not feel like crying.
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 16-17, F Nov 11, 2014

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    How is it possible that someone

    who I gave everything to just dropped me for someone else?
    gabbieceleste gabbieceleste 18-21 5 days ago

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    I feel like I am being squeezed right now.

    And all I can do is sit here in darkness, alone. I'm typing this as some sort of relief but it's not really working. I know no one will read this, and that no one can help me. But maybe, just maybe... If I can articulate it... Maybe I can try to just understand it. I've been...
    TubaAtheist TubaAtheist 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 27

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    Its pathetic how people think they can comment

    on your profile nasty things or target someone personally. EP is here to post experiences and/or ask for advice or help. Yet people are using it to target people and be nasty or harass the vulnerable. EP needs to change its rules
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    My best friend tried to end his life last night.

    He lives in Texas and sent me a goodbye note via email. I tried to stop him by saying that if he did it, I would too but he didn't listen. He's now in hospital and hasn't woken up yet but he's going to be okay hopefully. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life.
    itscassi itscassi 13-15, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    I am stressed,sad,lonely,

    worried and feel soooo ******* down today so yes obviously I'm not okay. I'm emotionally and physically not okay.
    akirayuuki akirayuuki 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 24

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    My dads in the hospital.

    .. His heart is ****** up... I can't keep listening o the words "chest pains again..." My friends are broken and I can't help cause I am the same... My stomach aches cause the cuts that run deep... My mom yells and I can't take it... She's stressed I know.. I am scared they'll...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 20

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    I guess it's hard for me to say,

    but I'm not okay. I guess if I tell everyone that I'm okay, then I feel as if I am okay, but I'm not. I space out in the middle of people talking to me, questioning my own existence. I hug people just a little too long because it keeps me tied down on earth. I long to have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 23, 2013

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    Sometimes, being not okay is okay.

    We grow. We learn new things. Most importantly, being okay means we try to be OK and this means, we're getting stronger. I guess this life is just making me stronger. Maybe it'll keep making me strong until I'll be lifeless..
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 24

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    SammiSakura SammiSakura 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    I'm getting the urge to self harm ): I last

    self harmed 7 months ago today
    TheDevilInTheMirror TheDevilInTheMirror 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2014

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    I used to cut looking away fast

    and quick but the pain is so intense that I look I go extra slowly over my arm I watch as the line goes from intense red to bloody in seconds I watch the blood run down still no tears
    00Broken00 00Broken00 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    This sentence just keeps repeating itself in my

    head. Almost like the My Chemical Romance song. I am sick to death of feeling this way. Trapped and totally alone. Feeling betrayed by so many people. I am not okay. I want to run away. I want to escape. Nothing seems to be going right at the moment. Everything in my world is...
    js246 js246 22-25 Apr 5

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    This darkness is suffocating me.

    It’s killing me slowly and I feel it. I feel the numbness rush through my soul, the cracks tearing at my heart. It’s trapping me and I see no escape. I want this suffering to end, I don’t have patience to wait it out. It’ll kill me before I kill it. I want to breathe...
    BeingSara BeingSara 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 15

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    Not at all. I really am not okay.

    I'm not. But ask me and I'll tell you I'm just fine. I'm fine. But...I'm not really.
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    The weeks filled with doctors appointments

    and tests/treatments don't make me feel wasted and lazy but the days I sit around and remember I no longer attend college with the rest of my friends kills me. This week I will officially be a year behind my class to graduate from college, and it's killing me.
    gottakeepyourheadup gottakeepyourheadup 18-21, F 2 Responses May 5

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    I hope that it doesn't matter I'm posting this

    so late at night. I need it to do this to calm down a bit, even though I'll talk about it "tomorrow" (today) with my psychotherapist. Some months ago, I had a pretty much traumatic experience with a jackass who unfortunately happened to buy the house next to mine. It's a family...
    somniatorlupus somniatorlupus 18-21, M 1 Response May 15

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    More and more health complications.

    New hospital and doctors appointments everyday. False hope, false solution, false sense of safety and stabilized health... Can I do this again tomorrow ?
    gottakeepyourheadup gottakeepyourheadup 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    All there's left to do

    for me is complaining. I can't stand it anymore, this city, these people. Everybody disappoints, in one way or another, they all do. And people will never turn out the way you think they would. One moment they might seem to be your shelter, your best friend, lover or even your...
    BMTH99 BMTH99 16-17, F Apr 5

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    Everything was going

    so well but now I stay up all night overthinking things and it's driving me insane
    camasf camasf 13-15, F 3 Responses May 24

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    divinitydragon divinitydragon 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I say I am over and over

    but all I think is can't you see, can't you see the constant pain I'm in please just look a little closer.
    nonamerr nonamerr 13-15, F Mar 19

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    TURNS OUT MY BF was with 3 girls last night

    getting up to no good! Better than him! I'm better than this :)
    HarrietAC HarrietAC 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29, 2014

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    I hide in shame for what you did to me.

    These scares are from you. I didn't want them or the words that you yelled at me. We were best friends but what happened. Was it because of my lover or that you loved me. But I'm sorry that you left. But now that your back I don't think I can let you back. I hear what they say...
    kamikoshinok kamikoshinok 16-17, F Jun 15

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    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic 36-40, F Jun 14

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    Why can't people love me back.

    ..? Do I just always fall for unaffectionet people or people that will never love me back... I feel like I am always in a one sided relationship with people that know exactly what I want but don't care about how I feel...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 16-17, F Mar 24

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    I don't usually like making a big deal out of

    things. But I am seriously depressed..
    Thenamesjess Thenamesjess 16-17, F 6 Responses May 7

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    If somebody asks me "how are you?

    " or "Are you ok?" I WILL respond with "I'm fine!! How are you?" I will plaster that smile on my face and avoid talking about myself at all costs. But I'm lying. I'm not okay. I wonder if I have ever been okay. I am hurting inside and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    You're the person I wanna go to.

    But then you tell me you can't deal with serious things. I lie an say I am alright. I am not alright. You see through that but... How can I say those things you just judged are what I am thinking about... What if that very thing you didn't wanna talk about was what's bugging me...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 16-17, F 1 Response May 4

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    Related Experiences

    "I'm sorry I bit you. And pulled your hair. And punched you in the face. And absolutely crushed your self esteem giving you permanent psychological damage." "It's ok."
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