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I Am Not Sure If My Marriage Is Worth Saving

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 61 People

    Leaving This Group Today

    leaving this group today...i believe my marriage is worth saving ...hoping and praying that i don't have to revisit it again as a member anyway....thanks for all the support ...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 28, 2012

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    Seperation

    She is now far away, but will return. I feel uneasy for things will stay the same , even worsen. Grown stepchildren at home, two individuals that never accepted me. We co-exist. One is being released after years in prison, supposedly coming to live in a happy , loving family. I...
    ryksteman ryksteman 56-60, M Dec 27, 2011

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    Update (To My Dilemma)

    My husband and I are talking divorce. We’ve been separated a couple of times in the past and if we separate again it’s going to be for good. Neither one of us is willing to do this limbo thing. He agreed to go to marriage counseling with me but we found out that our health...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 21, 2013

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    Me A Coward?

    O.K. on Wednesday...I texted him that basically we need to accept that our marriage is over and move on...YEAH I KNOW...IT WAS VERY COWARDLY OF ME...I put that in my text too and apologized...I just could not seem to approach him and say the words without my voice trembling and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 23, 2012

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    6 Yearsh

    I met my husband in high school. I've never been able to connect sexually though. He's sweet and treats me well, but his fantasies are too much for me. I have no desire to be sexual with him. I've had affairs, I always told my husband though. I haven't...
    tellie tellie 22-25 2 Responses Apr 25, 2009

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    Venting...He Proved Me Right...The ALL Suck...All Of Them.

    don't even know if this is where I'm supposed to be posting or not. I'm just in a situation that's just confusing as hell. It really isn't all that confusing...really...I just need to wake up and see the writing on the wall...and ACCPET it. Accept it all. I'm sitting here sad...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 22, 2013

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    History Repeating Itself

      I have been married for about 9years to my husband. My two children are from previously failed relationships. Yesterday we visited my aunts house. We cooked out, and had a couple of beers. My 16year old , and 8year old were inside watching movies. A woman, my aunt knew...
    foxiest1 foxiest1 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2009

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    My Dilemma.

    It’s a long story and I know I just can’t get into all the minute details of my married life so please understand that this is a piece of the whole and not the entirety. First, I want to say that I do love my husband and I certainly don’t want to hurt him. Second, he and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Be careful with these people even long after your gone. I am raising my children alone. He is involved zero. Never calls them and never sees them. This has gone on for 2 years...
    HAR1978 HAR1978 46-50, F 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    why get married when passion is not part of your agreement I don't get these people who marry for the wrong reasons, and think it is the norm and perfectly normal, when they are...
    Futuete Futuete 46-50, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    My current email to my husband of 12 years: It's after 3 and I am up, tormented by our lack of intimacy. I've asked you for months to seek out help and you have given me no...
    thruwithblue thruwithblue 41-45, F 16 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    So I have made a decision and it's for what I hope good reasons. I have noticed that we seem healthy in our relationship. It's not completely toxic, I'm pretty sure we are just...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 22-25, F 7 Responses Sep 2

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    What happened to the have and to 'hold' sure as hell try to understand but slowly losing all faith in our marriage.
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 4 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Solitairediamond posted a phrase basically saying doing things out of duty depletes you, while doing them out of love energizes you. While I agree to an extent with her thoughts...
    lonelyguy375 lonelyguy375 46-50, M 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Undecided whether to post this under this group or under the other one "I'm having random thoughts", I believe posted here the discussion shall be more thoughtful and sensitive...
    TheDreamyWoman TheDreamyWoman 36-40, F 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    So after my episode the other day, where H got upset because I had left him alone drinking his tea while I went upstairs, I decided to write him a letter. I gave it to him the...
    2BlossomBlue 2BlossomBlue 51-55, F 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    It's bed time and the kids are all bathed and tucked in. I can hear the tv from the family room blaring, h is apparently watching something that is apparently extremely amusing, as...
    Insearchofmenow Insearchofmenow 31-35 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Me, myself and my parents marriage... I asked my wife to go to a shrink with me about 3 years ago. she did not refuse the idea, but she ways always too busy, or tired or had a...
    frozenhere frozenhere 31-35, M 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Healing often happens in a spiral pattern. Each time you go around again, the level is higher: the problems less severe, the good aspects heightened and improving. You just have to...
    LovelyAlone LovelyAlone 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 10

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    Days 6 and 7 – reclaiming my bed – in conjunction with my previous stories. So, day 6 was ok. #3 had his first real cough and found it difficult to settle in bed, so, and as...
    dadonthesofa dadonthesofa 46-50, M 17 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am so frustrated at my husband. He really is very lazy at making things work between us. No matter how many times I explain to him, he just chooses to take certain things for...
    Nathee Nathee 31-35, F 19 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    - Although I'm not too big on marriages, I am not opposed to the idea of being in a plural relationship. So long as we can all get along nicely together in all the ways that we...
    pebbles7 pebbles7 36-40, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    But sohhh many dont. Its creating tears. Divorce caused it. And arranged marriages. And religions. Even great bisexuals wreck it. For tax breaks. Not found in...
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M 12 hrs ago

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    So I am wondering if the sexless marriage folks in MN would like to get together sometime? I'd be willing to organize an event somewhere. We would need to set up ground rules to...
    rangerrick1958 rangerrick1958 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Hmm this week I've been adding stories to the experiences I've chosen since being a member on here. I've been adding each story one at a time.And so far it's been pretty straight...
    Mmmcherries Mmmcherries 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    Being Perfect - One commonality I've discerned among our Refusers is their firm belief that there is nothing wrong with them ("them" being people who avoid having sex with their...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 22 Responses Sep 8

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    "Sexual Aversion Disorder" I am not sure if anyone has ever posted about this in this group...Actually I am sure someone has but I cannot find such post. apparently there is an...
    JackHawthorne JackHawthorne 31-35, M 7 Responses Aug 31

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    I have been denied sex by my wife for the past 24 years. I acknowledge that in the beginning I was responsible for most of the problems in the relationship. I was an alcoholic and...
    davejgj davejgj 66-70, M 2 Responses Aug 25

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    Everything is ok but sex. Yes, I know; those are the most unpopular words here. Those who dare to utter them are frequently treated with …….. But I just wanted to give some...
    largehopes largehopes 36-40 8 Responses Sep 2

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    I found an interesting study on sexlessness in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. I can't share the full pdf because there's no way to upload it here, but I will copy and paste the...
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 9 Responses Sep 2

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    "A first meeting with a lawyer. It is that simple." As I progress in my journey towards exit, I just realised that it is quite helpful to allow sufficient time to stop and ponder...
    TheDreamyWoman TheDreamyWoman 36-40, F 13 Responses Sep 7

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    As part of my core belief of continuous improvement and growth, I want to improve my marriage and relationship with my wife. Like most marriages I assume, we have our ups and...
    spiritnow spiritnow 41-45, M 5 days ago

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    My husband Johnny and I have been together for 2 years, married for a year and a half. We met through his older brother 2 1/2 years ago and started talking as friends. Neither one...
    ashleymarcia ashleymarcia 22-25, F Aug 28

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    I think it’s about time I make a final decision. My 20 year anniversary is coming up in 2 short weeks. Normally this would be a time for great celebration. I see it as an...
    beachlivin04 beachlivin04 41-45, M 18 Responses Sep 9

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    I am going to tell how trying to keep my husband in a sexless marriage turned into a terror. When my husband came back from the military his father and other wanted me to assist in...
    isis55 isis55 56-60, F 7 Responses Sep 12

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    I'm sure we all have read the story of the guy who emailed his wife a spreadsheet of his failed attempts at sexual advances. I've read more than a few articles on the story...
    chuckdaly chuckdaly 36-40, M 11 Responses Aug 22

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    It is rare that ILIASM members get to hear from refusers, even their own. Consequently, I suggest that members take advantage of what Jessie21 has posted here: EP Link...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses Aug 25

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    For those of you who have been following my SM, you know that I've been struggling with depression and low self esteem. For the past few years I've been struggling with ADHD...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 7 Responses Aug 25

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    I had a thought today. Has anyone tried to direct their refuser to EP? My wife and I each have our own laptops, she leaves hers around the house so it's easy to access. I was...
    LifeinWoodinville LifeinWoodinville 41-45, M 17 Responses Aug 30

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    No longer and perhaps the greatest validation of my decision to leave is his recent inability to spell his daughter's name She is four I guess the narcissist cares as little...
    faerylight faerylight 41-45, F 37 Responses Sep 5

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    I feel I can not carry this burden of sadness any longer,my marriage has been lonely for so long.My husband and I had not been intimate for years he did not approach me avoided and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 5

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    Here's a column with important advice for most of the refused-- male and female -- here. I believe that virtually all of the refused here need to learn to cherish themselves...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    So, my original plan was to start saving up for a trip to other country. But then i thought it'll probably gonna save for a long time for that and why not just wait till i get a...
    kmisfit123 kmisfit123 16-17, F Sep 10

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    Many of the refused are in relationships with narcissists. There's good advice here. "The constant attempts to explain or get some kind of emotional response with no return is...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Sep 11

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    I was warned by several people on here that having had our child, the sexless marriage thing would get a lot worse than before I was pregnant. How right you all were. Husband has...
    Pattycakey Pattycakey 36-40, F 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    I read an article recently about the turning point people had that defined the end of their marriage. I am not saying this is the last straw, but certainly adding to the pile. My...
    runnfree runnfree 36-40, M 4 Responses Sep 10

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    Just had it out again with Lucy. Wether its desperation to save her status or our marriage I'm unsure. Reset sex or heartfelt change who can tell. But with every effort she makes I...
    1RedKing 1RedKing 41-45, M 10 Responses Sep 12

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    Neglect - One of the most important things I've learned from my decision to end my sexless marriage is that I will never again tolerate being neglected by my partner. We all...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 11 Responses Aug 30