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I Am Not the Same Person I Used to Be

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 783 People

    Self-hugging

    When I read things that I wrote when I was younger (even just a year ago!) I feel as though I'm reading someone else's private thoughts and feelings. I still remember being that person in my mind, in my memories, but it seems so far away when there's tangible evidence of it in...
    ForestSong ForestSong 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9, 2010

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    Not Again

    I am 31 and followed the same pattern most of my life. From the time I started dating at 14 I always needed a boyfriend. I didnt care the quality of the guy, just I needed a boyfriend. I had several bad relationships, the worst was a guy I dated in high school and part of...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 13 Responses Nov 27, 2012

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    But I Am Better For It

     when i was younger i was angry because of the way my life had been.but through the years so many nice and caring people have entered my life,it changed.my mom and dad when i was a kid would help people any way they could.and through the years i have noticed it rubbed off on...
    ghostofmyself ghostofmyself 36-40 Oct 22, 2009

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    I Want To Go Now But I'll Be Patient!!!!

    I couldn't find an avatar that really matched this story.I didn't make this experience but I joined and there was no avatar,if there's no avatar I will put one in.Once I found this one I liked it,all the flowers are the same except the pink one.Pink is my favorite color and it is...
    TexasLily TexasLily 51-55, F 5 Responses Jul 30, 2009

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    I Guess Its Me That Changed

    I used to be a trusting, understanding, and innocent person. I no longer any of those things. The past ninteen years have gave me a fast and hard look into the reality of lfe. Helping to raise a little girl while caring for my ailing grandma untill she got ill went to hospital...
    thenewestdaughter thenewestdaughter 36-40, F Aug 6, 2012

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    Im Not

    im not the same person i used to be i used to be happy content with life but now ive seen the horrors of life the demons of myself and others i cannot go back to that place i used to be i cannot smile as easily or experience joy with as much freedom i just have...
    plagued0g plagued0g 18-21, F Feb 24, 2010

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    Feels So Good!

    When I first came to EP, I was extremely depressed...feeling rather worthless...hating life and wishing I could leave it.  Soon after I joined, I was diagnosed as a fast cycling manic-depressive bipolar type 2.  Yay for me, right?  Just one more thing to have...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 20, 2010

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    Not The Same

    It is right, I am not the same person I used to be.  With whatever I've been put through, I believe being a better person and understand more.
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F Aug 19, 2011

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    Thank You!!!

    I thank God that I am not the same person that I use to be. When I first came to EP I was very angry and bitter from from a divorce I did not want from a woman who did not love me. Since then I have found the grace and love to be able to forgive her and to get rid of all the...
    LateNightGuy LateNightGuy 41-45, M 3 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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    People always thought of me

    as a nerdy girl. People used to take adventage of my naive self...You know.. i'm the kind of person who no matter what the others did for them, it's just i keep forgiving people for hurting me and stuff... When me and a friend or something fight..i'm the one that always had to...
    hurtinmylife hurtinmylife 13-15, F Feb 17

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    I used to be awesome.

    That was when I lived in Oregon. I lived with friends, worked at the adult shop, partied, lots of sex, weighed less, had more energy, my back hurt less and I loved life. I love my husband and my baby girl of course but my life is pretty boring now. I also kind of miss the...
    FIeener FIeener 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Which Is Good, Hahaha.

    I used to talk to people just online. and i just started thinking about this, because all of the sudden i started really wanting to talk to a few people i used to know online xD
    Kristin137 Kristin137 16-17, F Sep 5, 2011

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    I Have Only Gotten Worse

    Starting off with my physical self, well it's only deterioration from there. My eye sight has gotten a lot worse, especially since I have started wearing glasses.  My hearing gets worse, especially since I started listening to music.  My sense of taste, I dunno...  Nothing is...
    XxJamberxX XxJamberxX 18-21, F Dec 25, 2012

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    I'm Not Who I Use To Be (poem)

    Yes I have sold drugs & yes I held guns . I've done a lot of thing that I'm not really proud of. I've been locked up ya I spent time behind bars. I've been in so many fights you can tell by my scars. I've committed strong arm robberies sorry to all my victims. Special the one...
    Caliboy23 Caliboy23 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 4, 2012

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    I'm Starting To Think That California Is Trying To Tell Me Something...

    My American husband and I met while he was visiting Toronto, Canada ( my hometown ) on business... Long story short, we hit it off right away  and as he was only in town until his flight left the very next next morning I, along with my 3 girlfriends decided to kidnap him and...
    palevixen palevixen 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 9, 2010

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    A few of years ago, if I was angry,

    it was because someone made me angry, and I would then let my anger blind my judgment. Since then, I've realized that I've been allowing myself to be angry and giving others power over me, and that just won't happen anymore.
    rumblingheart rumblingheart 16-17, F Sep 6

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    This topic definitely matches.

    I used to be this really shy kid who would cry once my mom would go out of my sight. I remember I would run out if class in school and go look for my mom. I used to cry a lot too. But I was constantly protected by this strong and nice people call friends and family...
    jonho10 jonho10 13-15, M Sep 7

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    Used To Be

    I used to be functional..going to work every day..being out...talking to people....now I stay inside constantly and am useless...everytime I think of what I used to be and what I am now I want to give up...I feel weak..like I'll never be like I was
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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    The Lion Rests

    Hindsight is always 20/20. I was a hellraiser and a heartbreaker in my youth. I was an addict, cocaine was my first love, speed, weed, and mushrooms were my mistresses, coming between me and anyone else that I cared for and I was always supplied with coke in great...
    zillaron zillaron 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    I've Changed a Lot Over the Years

    When I turned 18 I became totally different in a great way because for the first time I was allowed to be myself. I got to get away from my mos house and the crap of high school. And after that, I changed more and more and more. Now I am 24. Things different about me: I believe...
    SummerWind18 SummerWind18 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2009

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    Back When I Was Myself

    There used to be weeks at a time when I felt high on life and I was foolish enough to think that life would always feel perfect. Smiles didn't crack my face, my words didn't betray me so easily. I used to laugh constantly and be friends with everyone. The world used to glitter...
    lostinwunderland lostinwunderland 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Flip-turn Upside-down

    Sure, on the exterior, I'm the same old happy go lucky, hyper me.  But whiles ago, I used to be one of those religious people that are all about "God" and making the right choices.  I used to be so caught up in doing everything that was dubbed by society...
    XCRevolution XCRevolution 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 21, 2009

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    I Thought It Was A Good Change. I Need Advice!

    well im much diffrent then i used to be, i was in to drugs and liquor and everything, but thats not wat im talkin bout this time, my bf is in the army, he was gone to AIT for 5 months in another state and i didnt get to see him, well we was layin in my livin room floor the...
    emilyshantae emilyshantae 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 24, 2009

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    No Longer The Class Clown

    When I was in school, I was always the class clown. Always doing something for attention, drawing eyes toward me and childish behavior. I was friendly toward others, had lots of friends and was always at parties. I was in fistfights, and I made fun of others. Somewhere...
    ImToolazyforaWittyUseName ImToolazyforaWittyUseName 31-35, M 1 Response Jun 10, 2012

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    Grateful

    Today I am so grateful for where I am. I came from a world where I truly believed that gratitude was for poor people and losers. I had actually never had someone talk to me about gratitude until about 7 years ago. I worked hard to get where I am at and I am still achieving my...
    AnonymousDiva AnonymousDiva 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 8, 2012

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    Through My Eyes

    I remember a time when everything had color vivid, lovely, beautiful and meaningful  Everything seen behind the eyes of a child  A land of make believe, innocence love and trust. .......... How reality and life can destroy the beauty of youth and hope. ........... With eyes...
    lifesize lifesize 22-25, F Mar 1, 2013

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    :(

    all i wanna say is i wanna have the strenth to tell my story without being judje im takin it slow i feel so alone ..
    nicolecooper1991 nicolecooper1991 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2012

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    thelonerinyourbed thelonerinyourbed 70+, T Sep 1

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    I never used to have all of this rage in me it

    a new emotion and I've got a lot of it and it sucks is just want to kill a lot of guys
    rushman5 rushman5 13-15, M Sep 17

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    I Just Want ME Back.

    I joined this group because I am looking for support on how to just be *me*. I don't talk to people online other then here in EP and that is just for support I am not out there looking for sexual conversations although yes in my life I have had my fair share of them online I am...
    northernlightsalaska333 northernlightsalaska333 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    I was very courageous

    when I was younger. I would challenge people, defy authority, and venture into unknown areas without being terrified. Now I'm more soft-spoken. I am terrified of confrontation. I do everything I can to please the world. In simple words, I have become a coward. I am definitely...
    kalila37 kalila37 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    Better I Think

    As I have alluded to in previous stories, I have been through a lot in a very short period of time.  This time to trial that my family and I endured did a lot to shpe the person I am now.  I was forced to grow up more and accpet some of the basic realities of life that...
    wordsmith85 wordsmith85 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2009

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    Definetly Not The Same, But Tired Of Transforming

    I used to be a worthless drug addictI became a shaky recovering addictThen became an educated PersonThen came into Motherhood in all its glory and lessonsI moved into the teacher phaze and became a counselorI then got married and had another childNow I am a stay at home Mom so...
    boomerang73 boomerang73 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 18, 2010

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    Back then, I would have to get dolled up

    and be wearing "nice" clothes just to be comfortable enough to get out of my house. I wanted to look nice for others, to receive their acceptance. Although I still have some issues, now I can go out with shorts, an old stained t-shirt, no makeup on, hair not done, and feel...
    rumblingheart rumblingheart 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I was a really happy normal person.

    Had friends. Then panic attacks changed my life.
    maurylight maurylight 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    From Ashes To Flight.

    I have failed at so many things in my life, and so many things in my life have failed me. From April to June, I didn't think I'd even be able to "make it"--ever. I was in a tunnel of ****: lonely, jobless, recently car-less, and with no real vision of what a better life could...
    likeyoumeanit likeyoumeanit 18-21, M Dec 2, 2011

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    In Some Ways At Least...

    ~ In other ways, I am still very much the same. I'm not as quick to put myself down, but I still carry a lot of blame around. I'm not as quick to stuff my feelings down, but I do still internalize anger. I'm not as full of self hatred, but I do tend to have a hard time...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 18, 2009

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    I honestly hate who I was.

    Though now I like, and some people love, who I am. So at least I'm moving in the right direction.
    mcc1109 mcc1109 18-21, F Apr 7

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    I Am Not The Same EP Person Who Started On Here In 2009

    I was pretty active on here a few years back then my new computer wouldn't hold EP, not enough room and it kept locking up on me and I couldn't do anything on EP. Now I have a new computer and am back on EP and have missed my friends. It has been a few years and I have changed in...
    Kindal Kindal 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2013

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    I used to be the meanest

    and most self-serving person. Friends from that time refuse to associate with me, even when I contact them with sincere apologies. I'm much better now - completely different in my actions. I still have the angry thoughts and selfish desires, but they don't get acted upon because...
    LifeDispenser LifeDispenser 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 7

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    You Wouldn't Have Liked Me Very Much.

    I was selfish,mean and devious.I went after whatever I wanted and took it consequences be damned.Friendship and loyalties meant nothing to me. I never thought about how my actions would hurt others and when I did think about it ,well it was to bask in the awfulness of revenge...
    februarydays februarydays 51-55, F 1 Response May 18, 2012

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    Change

    I always think about this, but always feel the same way in the end - that there is this inner core that is still the same and may always be the same. I've picked up experiences throughout my short time here and I might seem different, but I'm still me. Nothing ever really goes...
    ForestSong ForestSong 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I know other people have had similar experiences, but I'm dying to find her. I've searched every face in the crowd and traffic my entire life. I have been dreaming about the same...
    mikane mikane 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 5

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    Over the space of the first six months on EP, I became more "liberated" in myself. Avenues of my mind were suddenly opened to personal investigation, leading to outpourings of...
    uncfred uncfred 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 19

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    I'm sadly still letting my ex who tore me into pieces get to me. We've reconnected, after him treating me horribly and showing time and time again he doesn't care about me. Not...
    GabbyCot GabbyCot 18-21, F Sep 7

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    It started after I fell in love with the love of my life at least k thought that before. He'd leave me in the dark for months and come back saying he's sorry. He claimed that he...
    Niinnaa Niinnaa 16-17, F Sep 7

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    I think every time I move to a new city I change a little. I've lived here for a year. My friends are completely different from any I've had before and my coworkers are more like...
    lovedaria lovedaria 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 22

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    The Rich and the Poor Homelessness in America I hate that most people look down on the poor like they are dirt or trash. People call them bums or low class. Can't...
    Kornisone Kornisone 26-30, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    The experiences we face in life mold the person we ultimately become. Men come from boys and women from girls. No one is the same person they were as a child, life does that to us...
    jazsag19 jazsag19 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 15

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    As Emerson once wrote: 'A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by statesmen and divines' Who would be so small as not to grow like a tree when exposed to...
    Cautiouslyr3ckless Cautiouslyr3ckless 41-45, M Sep 22

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    I am a dead beat dad, my username says it right there. Sure, my child support is paid every month. But I have alienated my son from my life. He is 9 now. It has been over a year...
    Deadbeatfather Deadbeatfather 31-35, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I tend to get this label once in a while, some people used to say about me that I was mysterious and I kinda liked it. I can sometimes be expressive but I am undefinable and have...
    JAD01 JAD01 31-35, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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