I Am Not the Same Person I Used to Be

Starting off with my physical self, well it's only deterioration from there. My eye sight has gotten a lot worse, especially since I have started wearing glasses.  My hearing gets worse, especially since I started listening to music...

When I first came to EP, I was extremely depressed...feeling rather worthless...hating life and wishing I could leave it.  Soon after I joined, I was diagnosed as a fast cycling manic-depressive bipolar type 2.  Yay for me...

I always think about this, but always feel the same way in the end - that there is this inner core that is still the same and may always be the same. I've picked up experiences throughout my short time here and I might seem different...

When I was in school, I was always the class clown. Always doing something for attention, drawing eyes toward me and childish behavior. I was friendly toward others, had lots of friends and was always at parties. I was in fistfights...

I used to be a worthless drug addictI became a shaky recovering addictThen became an educated PersonThen came into Motherhood in all its glory and lessonsI moved into the teacher phaze and became a counselorI then got married and had...

Yes I have sold drugs & yes I held guns .
I've done a lot of thing that I'm not really proud of.
I've been locked up ya I spent time behind bars.
I've been in so many fights you can tell by my scars.
I've committed strong arm robberies...

Today I am so grateful for where I am. I came from a world where I truly believed that gratitude was for poor people and losers. I had actually never had someone talk to me about gratitude until about 7 years ago. I worked hard to get...

I was selfish,mean and devious.I went after whatever I wanted and took it consequences be damned.Friendship and loyalties meant nothing to me. I never thought about how my actions would hurt others and when I did think about it ,well it...

I used to be a trusting, understanding, and innocent person. I no longer any of those things. The past ninteen years have gave me a fast and hard look into the reality of lfe. Helping to raise a little girl while caring for my ailing...

I thank God that I am not the same person that I use to be. When I first came to EP I was very angry and bitter from from a divorce I did not want from a woman who did not love me. Since then I have found the grace and love to be able...

I have failed at so many things in my life, and so many things in my life have failed me. From April to June, I didn't think I'd even be able to "make it"--ever. I was in a tunnel of shit: lonely, jobless, recently car-less, and with no...

all i wanna say is i wanna have the strenth to tell my story without being judje im takin it slow i feel so alone ..

Sure, on the exterior, I'm the same old happy go lucky, hyper me.  But whiles ago, I used to be one of those religious people that are all about "God" and making the right choices.  I used to be so caught up in...

Hindsight is always 20/20. I was a hellraiser and a heartbreaker in my youth. I was an addict, cocaine was my first love, speed, weed, and mushrooms were my mistresses, coming between me and anyone else that I cared for and I was...

I remember a time when everything had color
vivid, lovely, beautiful and meaningful 

Everything seen behind the eyes of a child 
A land of make believe, innocence love and trust.
..........
How reality and life can destroy the beauty...

When I read things that I wrote when I was younger (even just a year ago!) I feel as though I'm reading someone else's private thoughts and feelings. I still remember being that person in my mind, in my memories, but it seems so far...

I am 31 and followed the same pattern most of my life. From the time I started dating at 14 I always needed a boyfriend. I didnt care the quality of the guy, just I needed a boyfriend. I had several bad relationships, the worst was a...

There used to be weeks at a time when I felt high on life and I was foolish enough to think that life would always feel perfect. Smiles didn't crack my face, my words didn't betray me so easily. I used to laugh constantly and be friends...