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I Am Not Who I Used to Be

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,409 People

    So for the last year of my life I've crashed

    and burned and gone through hell and back again and back again and you get the point. Now I am slowly trying to get back up on my feet. All my problems were mental. It started with an eating disorder then went to anxiety then went to a phobia of going out in public then it went...
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 18-21, F Sep 25, 2014

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    I lost who I was when I was about 14-15,

    things went downhill from there. I used to be pretty focused and determined on doing things, I used to be a lot happier and strong. I think about those things that changed me for the worse and it kills me. I was so oblivious to what was yet to happen, all those years of building...
    lovetodraw19 lovetodraw19 18-21, F Aug 5, 2014

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    realizing its better to live

    as king of beasts, then to run amongst the sheep....
    DevilbehindMyeyes DevilbehindMyeyes 31-35, M Jan 26

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    I don't even in the saying "people can change".

    ... Once you become a rapist your always going to be a rapist. Once you start beating on women, your always going to be beat up on women weather or not you get therapy or not. I look at people all the time when they say "my man or girl is not what he or she used to be"..... Once...
    lorrena19 lorrena19 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    2011 Changed Me

    I fell deeper into my addictions of choice last year: men, alcohol. My life completely spun out of control. I tried to deny the feelings and fear that I had towards the man I was dating. We tried going on vacation together and this is when I realized that stuffing my feelings...
    NeopolitanSkye NeopolitanSkye 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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    I am trying to figure out just

    who i am.. As a young girl i was shy.. But strong.. Took care of my family.. Lied to protect them.. But cried when bymyself.. Wishing for somebody to take care of me... I grew into a teenager.. Still shy but in my element spunky... Full of life.. Eager to be independant and go...
    sunpea sunpea 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2014

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    The New Me

    the last four months of my life have been very hard for me. i always thought i was the problem an alot of time i am it but this time it wasnt me. my family has ignored every call every text and kinda been very mad at me for the last 4 months but mostly the last month specially...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 30, 2013

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    Metamorphosis -- My New Life

    I recently had to learn to accept myselfjust the way I am;this wasn’t easy.I didn’t like myself much thenso I didn’t like the way I looked, and my self-worthwas just flushed down the toilet.You can say I was hopeless,at least I felt that way at the time.It took...
    bemyvalentine bemyvalentine 56-60, F 14 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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    Moved country when 14.

    Smoked a ton of weed (live in pnw, surrounded by stoners). Hate where I live, what I became and everyone I associate with daily. Don't want to talk to anyone, depressed, struggling with anxiety, in need of a new start and new understanding friends
    cjr54 cjr54 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 21, 2014

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    I remember days of the past

    where I was always thinking about how to have fun when off work or when I could enjoy beers or how I had to find a woman to take home and coulda cared less how I treated people . Now throughout my day conviction I areas where I fall short , how did I behave , how did I treat...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    I am rethinking everything I

    once thought about myself, it's devastating and riveting. Connections between my abuse, addictions, and assaults all seem so clear as I finally can see there intertwined aspect. It took 8 years but I feel like I'm stepping into a new stage and that I can finally see the past in...
    peytonkay peytonkay 22-25, F Jan 1

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    I'm not the sweet little girl I used to be.

    I'm no longer the person that tried to earn love points pleasing others and changing in every situation to be what people wanted me to be. After years of dedication to knowing myself on a deeper level I have become more centered. I have self-respect and self-love. I don't do...
    Emilyleahywho Emilyleahywho 26-30, F Dec 30, 2014

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    Today an old friend told me

    that I was a cheerful person, positive and enthusiast in friendship, around me the world were sunshine and happiness. I never thought someone could think of me that way, I don't even like myself back then.. :) and he wishes that he will see me like that again someday..
    defiantmisfit defiantmisfit 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 24, 2014

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    There's a really neat life changing experience

    in the living word of GOD . It states that has given us the things of life and godliness by knowledge of him that had called to glory and virtue . Virtue is the outward showings of the inward workings of God in us that bring about change . It also states that by this...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 15, 2014

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    I used to believe in people

    but now I despise them.
    lifeschallenge lifeschallenge 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 5, 2014

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    Pink and red hair. Piercings everywhere.

    Always getting into some sort of mischief and trying to strike someone's fancy ;) eventually, life forces you to grow up. All the tackle was removed from my face but I get to keep the select few piercings no one knows about. I think as I was forced to grow out of that...
    Luckylotus013 Luckylotus013 26-30, F Mar 13, 2014

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    I Feel Myselff Chanqinq.

    I Dontt Lauqh Thee Samee, Smilee Thee Samee, Orr Talkk Thee Samee Im Jstt Soo Triedd Of Everythinn .
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2014

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    I am better. At what?

    EVERYTHING! j/k :)
    MyChemicalBreakup MyChemicalBreakup 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    My life was horrible I used to have a older

    profile onto here but I had to delete it because the more I had the same depressing thing the more darker and deeper I would go I used to think about blood guts and gore n **** like that but I don't I used to think that one day I would flip out onto everybody and kill or go...
    ghostbeautiy ghostbeautiy 13-15, F Nov 3, 2014

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    But I want to be. I realize

    that having responsibilities and children means that life cannot be the way it was prior to meeting my husband. Though, what I do want is to be the happy, content person I was. I want my friends back. I want my family back. I want to see the funny side of things again. I want to...
    Happinessismine Happinessismine 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 10, 2014

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    acrehood acrehood 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 15, 2014

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    Always Changeing

    i am not who i use to be, i changed, we all change. some change for better, some for worse, we're always changing, no matter what anyone else says, I just hope my changes are for better and not worse...
    wannaelectrodance wannaelectrodance 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    What A Difference A Decade Makes!

    10 years ago, I left an abusive marriage. I had been with him for 11 years, and the only thing that got me out was my beautiful daughter. I didn't want her to grow up thinking that this was okay. So I dragged all the broken pieces of myself together enough to take her and run...
    amethystrose1972 amethystrose1972 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 4, 2010

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    ..I crave touch, yet I flinch every time

    someone is close enough.... I'm so timid and quiet, yet my thoughts are so loud. When did I become so indecisive? Not really sure who I am these days.
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2014

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    I once was very kind hearted

    and open to a relationship........ When I turned.....I think i was 14 or 15....anyways, 9th grade, i discovered that I was attracted to men and not women. I was raised to be Christian and I truly did call it my faith at the time. I despised what I liked and tried to change...
    andrew24601 andrew24601 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    All this time his colors were supposed to be

    transforming her All this time he was supposed to be guiding her And the tables began to turn around He sees the fire in her eyes Seeing that it is a new color she changed on her own He sees her wicked red wings stretching out Her eyes were forever to be fire Her dress was a...
    ghostbeautiy ghostbeautiy 13-15, F Nov 22, 2014

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    That moment when you're chopping food

    and you imagine how easy it world be to cut into yourself.
    MasqueradeMe MasqueradeMe 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 4, 2014

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    I'm stuck in this place.

    I don't know who I am anymore or what happen to the person I used to be. I think about who I used to be and I've realize I was only living a life pleasing others and my life was pretty much hidden away. I believe as we mature and get wiser there are stages in life and we learn...
    ADonya ADonya 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    From this day on, I will fix myself.

    Someone on here has shown me that there is good in the world. :) I will repay her back from becoming a better person and helping others like she helped me. All my negative posts in the past mean nothing to me now. (Deleted them)
    MysteryAbove MysteryAbove 70+ 1 Response Feb 25

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    I Lied All the Time

    I used to lie all the time about the simplest things. Not because I was a liar but because I wanted to not only fit in but because I wanted to be better than anyone around me. I realize now that this came from a traumatic childhood school experience of being called names because...
    shaw8537 shaw8537 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2009

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    A Moment Of Silence

    Tonight when I got home, I decided I did not want the TV....or music...or really any form of noise other than the thoughts in my head.  My world seems to be a mass of over stimulation and I have decided to embrace this moment of silence and just allow myself to take a little bit...
    evolving2010 evolving2010 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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    I'm not who I used to be at all.

    Even recently. I was very wounded. Very hurt. Very shy. Very quiet. Very not myself. Very hurting. Very sad. Very lonely. Very alone. I've changed a lot. Went inside. Found myself. I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I can do, or what I will do. But I know this, I like...
    chimbie88 chimbie88 31-35, M Mar 16, 2014

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    I Feel Myselff Chanqinq.

    I Dontt Lauqh Thee Samee, Smilee Thee Samee, Orr Talkk Thee Samee Im Jstt Soo Triedd Of Everythinn ...
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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    Stronger?

    The past 6 years haven't been the greatest. I was dependant on other people, timid, quiet as a mouse, walked over and had no self-respect. I felt I didn't deserve happiness due to things I'd done or that I just simply couldn't be happy because I'd only end up ruining things for...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 26, 2009

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    I used to be so happy with

    who I was, funny, confident, didn't have a care in the world. After my first love used me I was soo heartbroken I completely lost who I was. It was like I lost my soul, this was like when I was 14. I'm now 20 and I've built myself up, but I'm not the person who I used to be. I'm...
    littlefox6 littlefox6 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 7, 2014

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    A Brand New Life Given To Me Again

     I am about to share a true life experience that happened to me more than Ten Years ago. I was born into a family that could afford me luxury and comfort; I was privileged to attend one of the best schools in my country. Life for me was exciting and at its...
    joerio joerio 36-40, M Jul 28, 2010

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    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I sit and I listen to the words you speak to me

    out your mouth. The continue to break me down with every syllable. I look at you as though I don't know who you are anymore. You used to be my caring, loving husband who spoke nice things to me. Now it's all anger and yelling. You want me to want to spend time with you and...
    crafty36 crafty36 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    Some nights, I feel as

    though I owe the world an apology. Whenever I think back on my past, I wish I could change who I was then. I have unintentionally hurt so many people. I get embarrassed thinking of how I acted, or reacted to certain situations. I'm not that exact person anymore, but I don't feel...
    LaDispute LaDispute 22-25 2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    Nobody ever is, as we experience different

    things, we grow and evolve into someone new.
    KinkyIntellectual KinkyIntellectual 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 11, 2014

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    Not By A Long Shot...

    ...I am better than I used to be!
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    allamericanloser allamericanloser 13-15, F 2 Responses May 30, 2014

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    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F Oct 5, 2014

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    Im Ntt Sadd Orr Depressedd Orr Anythinn,

    Btt Im Ntt Happyy Eitherr & Thtss Watss Reallyy Botherin Mee ...
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 6, 2014

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    I Am Not Who I Used To Be.

    For years i lived in solitude, avoiding social contact because of my insecurities and miss-trust of people. I lived in my own little prison, afraid to let anyone get close to me because my childhood had left me feeling like i wasn't good enough and all the torment and anguish...
    DiesSomnium DiesSomnium 31-35 4 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    Almost all of last year was a defining moment

    in my life. I've definitely become a lot stronger and independent than I used to be because of it. I still have a lot to work on, but, for the most part, I'm a better person now. :)
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 18-21, M Aug 29, 2014

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    Getting rid of negative influences in my life

    was the best decision I've ever made. I left behind verbally abusive people, bad habits, painful memories and my anxiety and I've been so happy ever since.
    pinkfleshbows pinkfleshbows 18-21, F Jul 12, 2014