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I Am Not Who I Used to Be

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,838 People

    I remember days of the past

    where I was always thinking about how to have fun when off work or when I could enjoy beers or how I had to find a woman to take home and coulda cared less how I treated people . Now throughout my day conviction I areas where I fall short , how did I behave , how did I treat...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M Mar 10, 2014

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    TheDemonsWithin TheDemonsWithin 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 14

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    That moment when you're chopping food

    and you imagine how easy it world be to cut into yourself.
    MasqueradeMe MasqueradeMe 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 4, 2014

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    I am trying to figure out just

    who i am.. As a young girl i was shy.. But strong.. Took care of my family.. Lied to protect them.. But cried when bymyself.. Wishing for somebody to take care of me... I grew into a teenager.. Still shy but in my element spunky... Full of life.. Eager to be independant and go...
    sunpea sunpea 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2014

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    I'm stuck in this place.

    I don't know who I am anymore or what happen to the person I used to be. I think about who I used to be and I've realize I was only living a life pleasing others and my life was pretty much hidden away. I believe as we mature and get wiser there are stages in life and we learn...
    ADonya ADonya 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    I look back on who I was

    as a child. I loved the classic Disney princess movies. I grew up on The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, Cinderella. I loved making up my own adventures and dreaming of a handsome prince to save me. Going on adventures with my sister in our large back yard...
    xxdublifexx xxdublifexx 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 27

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    Not By A Long Shot...

    ...I am better than I used to be!
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    I used to be so happy with

    who I was, funny, confident, didn't have a care in the world. After my first love used me I was soo heartbroken I completely lost who I was. It was like I lost my soul, this was like when I was 14. I'm now 20 and I've built myself up, but I'm not the person who I used to be. I'm...
    littlefox6 littlefox6 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 7, 2014

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    realizing its better to live

    as king of beasts, then to run amongst the sheep....
    ObsidianLegion ObsidianLegion 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 26

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    I'm not sure if I actually like being alone

    or if I have just convinced myself that I am okay being alone.
    sunshine1221 sunshine1221 22-25, F May 18, 2014

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    Nobody ever is, as we experience different

    things, we grow and evolve into someone new.
    KinkyIntellectual KinkyIntellectual 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 11, 2014

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    There's a really neat life changing experience

    in the living word of GOD . It states that has given us the things of life and godliness by knowledge of him that had called to glory and virtue . Virtue is the outward showings of the inward workings of God in us that bring about change . It also states that by this...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 15, 2014

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    A few years ago, i battled with depression,

    anxiety, sexual abuse, and just being absolutely hateful to everyone around me. Because of this, I've broken a few hearts. If you'd asked me a few years ago, i would've told you, "Some people just aren't meant to be happy. Some people are meant to be logical, and productive, but...
    salen01 salen01 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2014

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    The New Me

    the last four months of my life have been very hard for me. i always thought i was the problem an alot of time i am it but this time it wasnt me. my family has ignored every call every text and kinda been very mad at me for the last 4 months but mostly the last month specially...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 30, 2013

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    2011 Changed Me

    I fell deeper into my addictions of choice last year: men, alcohol. My life completely spun out of control. I tried to deny the feelings and fear that I had towards the man I was dating. We tried going on vacation together and this is when I realized that stuffing my feelings...
    NeopolitanSkye NeopolitanSkye 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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    I Didntt Chanqee, I Jstt Greww Upp.

    I Learnedd Whats Bestt Forr Mee . Iff I Havee To Losee Ppl To Gett Wheree I Need Too Bee, Thenn Im Okayy Withh Thttt .
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F Apr 25

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    Getting rid of negative influences in my life

    was the best decision I've ever made. I left behind verbally abusive people, bad habits, painful memories and my anxiety and I've been so happy ever since.
    pinkfleshbows pinkfleshbows 18-21, F Jul 12, 2014

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    I like to think I'm not

    who I used to be, now I'm more tolerant, patient, bigger, stronger... I can go on and on. But I'll never stop changing, onwards and upwards, right?
    diegosauns diegosauns 18-21, M Nov 17, 2014

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    I Am Not Who I Used To Be.

    For years i lived in solitude, avoiding social contact because of my insecurities and miss-trust of people. I lived in my own little prison, afraid to let anyone get close to me because my childhood had left me feeling like i wasn't good enough and all the torment and anguish...
    DiesSomnium DiesSomnium 31-35 4 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    Barbiebased1 Barbiebased1 13-15, F May 3

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    From this day on, I will fix myself.

    Someone on here has shown me that there is good in the world. :) I will repay her back from becoming a better person and helping others like she helped me. All my negative posts in the past mean nothing to me now. (Deleted them)
    MysteryAbove MysteryAbove 70+ 2 Responses Feb 25

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    I sit and I listen to the words you speak to me

    out your mouth. The continue to break me down with every syllable. I look at you as though I don't know who you are anymore. You used to be my caring, loving husband who spoke nice things to me. Now it's all anger and yelling. You want me to want to spend time with you and...
    crafty36 crafty36 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    I'm really not. That innocent girl

    that I used to be was murdered the day I turned 9. I will never believe in the same stuff I use to, little did I know I would be changed forever that day. She was killed when I got home that day and I was never the same. I know what pain is despite my age and I know it effects...
    Frozensilence Frozensilence 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    Who I Am Hates Who I've Been, Who I've Been Hates Who I Am

    I am not who I used to be. Is anyone though? Who here can still look at their life through the eyes of a child, where everything is interesting and everything is new. Where you can trust people, and being mean is your mom not letting you buy dunkaroos this time at a shopping trip...
    WeAllFallDown WeAllFallDown 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2012

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    Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself

    anymore...I've changed...I miss my old self...I used to be quiet, I was living in my own head and thoughts, but now I'm sharing everything with my friends and I became this open person...It's not a bad thing, but sometimes is better to not even say anything...
    Teodora27 Teodora27 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23, 2014

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    No one is who they used to be,

    we all change, consciously or not, for better or worse - it's called evolution.
    Xenox Xenox 31-35, M Jul 30

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    I'm James Alcock, I've lived

    for 20 years. None of them have been good, I've made many mistakes in the past. But I'm gonna make sure that I make no more in the future. It's time I start living. :D
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 15

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    Stronger?

    The past 6 years haven't been the greatest. I was dependant on other people, timid, quiet as a mouse, walked over and had no self-respect. I felt I didn't deserve happiness due to things I'd done or that I just simply couldn't be happy because I'd only end up ruining things for...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 26, 2009

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    Because Of You

    a heart alone a soul torn a dream gone hope turned to stone tears fall spirits droop energy sags thoughts stall courage arrives wisdom steers support comes ideas strive the heart beats the soul shines dreams form hope completes the day is new but I am not and yet I am because of...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 2 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    Some nights, I feel as

    though I owe the world an apology. Whenever I think back on my past, I wish I could change who I was then. I have unintentionally hurt so many people. I get embarrassed thinking of how I acted, or reacted to certain situations. I'm not that exact person anymore, but I don't feel...
    LaDispute LaDispute 22-25 2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    What A Difference A Decade Makes!

    10 years ago, I left an abusive marriage. I had been with him for 11 years, and the only thing that got me out was my beautiful daughter. I didn't want her to grow up thinking that this was okay. So I dragged all the broken pieces of myself together enough to take her and run...
    amethystrose1972 amethystrose1972 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 4, 2010

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    I'm not the sweet little girl I used to be.

    I'm no longer the person that tried to earn love points pleasing others and changing in every situation to be what people wanted me to be. After years of dedication to knowing myself on a deeper level I have become more centered. I have self-respect and self-love. I don't do...
    Emilyleahywho Emilyleahywho 26-30, F Dec 30, 2014

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    RealmRunner RealmRunner 22-25, F Aug 18

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    I Lied All the Time

    I used to lie all the time about the simplest things. Not because I was a liar but because I wanted to not only fit in but because I wanted to be better than anyone around me. I realize now that this came from a traumatic childhood school experience of being called names because...
    shaw8537 shaw8537 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2009

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    I'm Not The Same

    I'm not who I used to be. I'm different now. A better person actually. Use to... I would let people take advantage of me. I let people control me, and be mean to me and care about it. But not no more. I control myself, and I defend myself, and do as I wish. Use to... I was...
    magicianguy magicianguy 18-21, M Oct 9, 2013

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    I am better. At what?

    EVERYTHING! j/k :)
    MyChemicalBreakup MyChemicalBreakup 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    Doing things for myself,

    then my family is the biggest lesson ever. Learning delayed gratification is the real measure of character. Learning to sacrifice has been the source of my change with the enabling presence and power of God
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire 41-45, M Mar 19

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    I used to use this website under another

    username because I felt so lonely and out of place. My depression got the best of me, but currently I'm so much better. I used drugs, alcohol, self harmed, and had sex to cope with my depression. I've been in therapy for 3 months and it has helped tremendously. I was in a...
    nostalgiaa nostalgiaa 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I am rethinking everything I

    once thought about myself, it's devastating and riveting. Connections between my abuse, addictions, and assaults all seem so clear as I finally can see there intertwined aspect. It took 8 years but I feel like I'm stepping into a new stage and that I can finally see the past in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 1

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    Today an old friend told me

    that I was a cheerful person, positive and enthusiast in friendship, around me the world were sunshine and happiness. I never thought someone could think of me that way, I don't even like myself back then.. :) and he wishes that he will see me like that again someday..
    defiantmisfit defiantmisfit 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 24, 2014

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    If you scroll down my posted experiences you

    will see the first experience I ever posted on here was a year ago, and it was "I will do anything to make you happy". I said how happy I always am and I laugh at almost anything and I love making people laugh. Now I am almost the opposite of that. I do love making my friends...
    AnonymousJSS AnonymousJSS 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    A Moment Of Silence

    Tonight when I got home, I decided I did not want the TV....or music...or really any form of noise other than the thoughts in my head.  My world seems to be a mass of over stimulation and I have decided to embrace this moment of silence and just allow myself to take a little bit...
    evolving2010 evolving2010 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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    Pink and red hair. Piercings everywhere.

    Always getting into some sort of mischief and trying to strike someone's fancy ;) eventually, life forces you to grow up. All the tackle was removed from my face but I get to keep the select few piercings no one knows about. I think as I was forced to grow out of that...
    Luckylotus013 Luckylotus013 26-30, F Mar 13, 2014

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    When I was younger, I used to be much more

    confident. I was daring and I walked up straight. I could talk to anybody with full ease. I didn't take no shyts. Not saying that I'm now exactly the opposite, but I think bad experiences and moments have engrossed me this much that I have to put a big effort to be like how I...
    ForMyLegMan ForMyLegMan 26-30, F Jun 18

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    A lot of things change.

    For the better and for the worse.
    lostluxray lostluxray 70+ Jan 10

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    I don't even in the saying "people can change".

    ... Once you become a rapist your always going to be a rapist. Once you start beating on women, your always going to be beat up on women weather or not you get therapy or not. I look at people all the time when they say "my man or girl is not what he or she used to be"..... Once...
    lorrena19 lorrena19 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 26