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I Am Not Who I Used to Be

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,056 People

    I lost who I was when I was about 14-15,

    things went downhill from there. I used to be pretty focused and determined on doing things, I used to be a lot happier and strong. I think about those things that changed me for the worse and it kills me. I was so oblivious to what was yet to happen, all those years of building...
    lovetodraw19 lovetodraw19 18-21, F Aug 5

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    ..I crave touch, yet I flinch every time

    someone is close enough.... I'm so timid and quiet, yet my thoughts are so loud. When did I become so indecisive? Not really sure who I am these days.
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    Not By A Long Shot...

    ...I am better than I used to be!
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    I've been through a lot; abuse

    and betrayal, lies, people bringing me down, etc. and I was not only living a lie through my life by telling myself I have a loving family, but I was also living a lie within myself because I had no idea who I really was. I had body image problems as a teenager and I very severe...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    I am trying to figure out just

    who i am.. As a young girl i was shy.. But strong.. Took care of my family.. Lied to protect them.. But cried when bymyself.. Wishing for somebody to take care of me... I grew into a teenager.. Still shy but in my element spunky... Full of life.. Eager to be independant and go...
    sunpea sunpea 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    I use to write poetry I use to write about my

    pain and then I use to write about love because of those experiences have taught me so much but now I'm not inspired by anyone or anything I just feel empty ....
    ap05 ap05 26-30, F Jul 12

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    I have completely changed.

    Firstly, I am not the fat kid from school and college. I've lost so much weight, I look completely different to what I was. My face is less round, my arms and lets look less like tree trunks. However, despite physical appearance, I've changed mentally. I might have been bigger...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    I'm not sure what I can say

    that I am. But I know that things are different. I feel like something is locked away and yet it is only around the corner. That it may come back someday.
    XxJamberxX XxJamberxX 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    I once was very kind hearted

    and open to a relationship........ When I turned.....I think i was 14 or 15....anyways, 9th grade, i discovered that I was attracted to men and not women. I was raised to be Christian and I truly did call it my faith at the time. I despised what I liked and tried to change...
    andrew24601 andrew24601 18-21, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Since I grew and now understood what had

    happened back in my old life I wish I was different. Back then, I was little like 5 or4 and I lived in Gresham, Oregon and in the neighborhood was Russian well, so am I. They bullied me and I didn't like it. But now I wish I could go up and just tell them how it felt and maybe...
    Lollilovergirl10 Lollilovergirl10 13-15, F Jul 29

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    Pink and red hair. Piercings everywhere.

    Always getting into some sort of mischief and trying to strike someone's fancy ;) eventually, life forces you to grow up. All the tackle was removed from my face but I get to keep the select few piercings no one knows about. I think as I was forced to grow out of that...
    Luckylotus013 Luckylotus013 26-30, F Mar 13

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    Today an old friend told me

    that I was a cheerful person, positive and enthusiast in friendship, around me the world were sunshine and happiness. I never thought someone could think of me that way, I don't even like myself back then.. :) and he wishes that he will see me like that again someday..
    defiantmisfit defiantmisfit 36-40, F 7 Responses Feb 24

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    Because Of You

    a heart alone a soul torn a dream gone hope turned to stone tears fall spirits droop energy sags thoughts stall courage arrives wisdom steers support comes ideas strive the heart beats the soul shines dreams form hope completes the day is new but I am not and yet I am because of...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 2 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    For the most part. I have changed a lot in the

    past years in how I act and see things. I do not try to get everyone to like and accept me if that means changing who I am. But I refuse to live selfishly and always try to do what I can to help others and make everyone feel welcome. I am more in tune with my inner thoughts and...
    CeruleanWolf CeruleanWolf 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    I'm not, but it's a fantastic thing!

    I used to be a pretty crappy person and not so sure of my life and what I wanted to do. I had no self-esteem and no drive to do anything good for myself. So sometimes not being who you used to be is a pretty wonderful thing! :)
    allymacc allymacc 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    I used to be so happy with

    who I was, funny, confident, didn't have a care in the world. After my first love used me I was soo heartbroken I completely lost who I was. It was like I lost my soul, this was like when I was 14. I'm now 20 and I've built myself up, but I'm not the person who I used to be. I'm...
    littlefox6 littlefox6 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 7

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    So for the last year of my life I've crashed

    and burned and gone through hell and back again and back again and you get the point. Now I am slowly trying to get back up on my feet. All my problems were mental. It started with an eating disorder then went to anxiety then went to a phobia of going out in public then it went...
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 16-17, F Sep 25

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    Stronger?

    The past 6 years haven't been the greatest. I was dependant on other people, timid, quiet as a mouse, walked over and had no self-respect. I felt I didn't deserve happiness due to things I'd done or that I just simply couldn't be happy because I'd only end up ruining things for...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 26, 2009

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    I'm stuck in this place.

    I don't know who I am anymore or what happen to the person I used to be. I think about who I used to be and I've realize I was only living a life pleasing others and my life was pretty much hidden away. I believe as we mature and get wiser there are stages in life and we learn...
    ADonya ADonya 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    Getting rid of negative influences in my life

    was the best decision I've ever made. I left behind verbally abusive people, bad habits, painful memories and my anxiety and I've been so happy ever since.
    pinkfleshbows pinkfleshbows 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    I miss that fire I had.

    ... I feel like I lost that light in my eyes......what I wouldn't give to have that back
    ap05 ap05 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    Almost all of last year was a defining moment

    in my life. I've definitely become a lot stronger and independent than I used to be because of it. I still have a lot to work on, but, for the most part, I'm a better person now. :)
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 16-17, M Aug 29

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    I forget my self in nowhere.

    .I want to turnback time where I used to know my self well..where we used to be friend..Now..nothing I will do will change my life..sometimes I forget how to feel my heart..I keep thinking where to go and how can I change my self to feel thr way I used to feel..something changed...
    denez denez 22-25, F Aug 3

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    Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself

    anymore...I've changed...I miss my old self...I used to be quiet, I was living in my own head and thoughts, but now I'm sharing everything with my friends and I became this open person...It's not a bad thing, but sometimes is better to not even say anything...
    Teodora27 Teodora27 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    There's a really neat life changing experience

    in the living word of GOD . It states that has given us the things of life and godliness by knowledge of him that had called to glory and virtue . Virtue is the outward showings of the inward workings of God in us that bring about change . It also states that by this...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    I used to be energetic,

    and friendly. Now I just stay in my room. I also realize that I unintentionally ignore people. I fell off with motivation, too. Now all I'm motivated to do is sleep.
    YoungAndAwkward YoungAndAwkward 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    I remember days of the past

    where I was always thinking about how to have fun when off work or when I could enjoy beers or how I had to find a woman to take home and coulda cared less how I treated people . Now throughout my day conviction I areas where I fall short , how did I behave , how did I treat...
    pastormike pastormike 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F Oct 5

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    I Feel Myselff Chanqinq.

    I Dontt Lauqh Thee Samee, Smilee Thee Samee, Orr Talkk Thee Samee Im Jstt Soo Triedd Of Everythinn .
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 3

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    I used to be the biggest tomboy!

    I wore my brothers clothes, was always playing in dirt and with insects. Now I'm an actual girl and don't even go in my brothers room!
    cotygal123 cotygal123 13-15, F 1 Response May 27

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    2011 Changed Me

    I fell deeper into my addictions of choice last year: men, alcohol. My life completely spun out of control. I tried to deny the feelings and fear that I had towards the man I was dating. We tried going on vacation together and this is when I realized that stuffing my feelings...
    NeopolitanSkye NeopolitanSkye 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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    I Lied All the Time

    I used to lie all the time about the simplest things. Not because I was a liar but because I wanted to not only fit in but because I wanted to be better than anyone around me. I realize now that this came from a traumatic childhood school experience of being called names because...
    shaw8537 shaw8537 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2009

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    allamericanloser allamericanloser 13-15, F 2 Responses May 30

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    It's been over 2 months

    since I stopped taking my anti-depressants. At first, I was just being very forgetful, but after a week, I decided to stop taking them all together, and I don't think I need them anymore. I still have some emotional issues, but they're nowhere near as bad as they once were.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 11

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    I used to believe in people

    but now I despise them.
    lifeschallenge lifeschallenge 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    The New Me

    the last four months of my life have been very hard for me. i always thought i was the problem an alot of time i am it but this time it wasnt me. my family has ignored every call every text and kinda been very mad at me for the last 4 months but mostly the last month specially...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 30, 2013

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    Always Changeing

    i am not who i use to be, i changed, we all change. some change for better, some for worse, we're always changing, no matter what anyone else says, I just hope my changes are for better and not worse...
    wannaelectrodance wannaelectrodance 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    A few years ago, i battled with depression,

    anxiety, sexual abuse, and just being absolutely hateful to everyone around me. Because of this, I've broken a few hearts. If you'd asked me a few years ago, i would've told you, "Some people just aren't meant to be happy. Some people are meant to be logical, and productive, but...
    salen01 salen01 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 31

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    The last two days have been the hardest.

    I don't know anymore. I don't want to be that person who is just barely staying above water. I remember a time when things went wrong I could rise above. Now a days i feel like I am just a zombie doing what I need to do work home work home. I no longer get to go out and enjoy...
    mserbine mserbine 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    I Am Not Who I Used To Be.

    For years i lived in solitude, avoiding social contact because of my insecurities and miss-trust of people. I lived in my own little prison, afraid to let anyone get close to me because my childhood had left me feeling like i wasn't good enough and all the torment and anguish...
    DiesSomnium DiesSomnium 31-35 4 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    A Moment Of Silence

    Tonight when I got home, I decided I did not want the TV....or music...or really any form of noise other than the thoughts in my head.  My world seems to be a mass of over stimulation and I have decided to embrace this moment of silence and just allow myself to take a little bit...
    evolving2010 evolving2010 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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    But I want to be. I realize

    that having responsibilities and children means that life cannot be the way it was prior to meeting my husband. Though, what I do want is to be the happy, content person I was. I want my friends back. I want my family back. I want to see the funny side of things again. I want to...
    Happinessismine Happinessismine 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    I'm not sure if I actually like being alone

    or if I have just convinced myself that I am okay being alone.
    sunshine1221 sunshine1221 22-25, F May 18

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    I'm Not The Same

    I'm not who I used to be. I'm different now. A better person actually. Use to... I would let people take advantage of me. I let people control me, and be mean to me and care about it. But not no more. I control myself, and I defend myself, and do as I wish. Use to... I was...
    magicianguy magicianguy 18-21, M Oct 9, 2013

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    acrehood acrehood 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 15

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    Im Ntt Sadd Orr Depressedd Orr Anythinn,

    Btt Im Ntt Happyy Eitherr & Thtss Watss Reallyy Botherin Mee ...
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    I'm not who I used to be at all.

    Even recently. I was very wounded. Very hurt. Very shy. Very quiet. Very not myself. Very hurting. Very sad. Very lonely. Very alone. I've changed a lot. Went inside. Found myself. I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I can do, or what I will do. But I know this, I like...
    chimbie88 chimbie88 31-35, M Mar 16

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    Seems Like I'm Not

    Deep down inside I know that I will always have certain traits and act a certain way, when faced with different situations, but I am stronger and happier than I was before and that is a huge change in its self. I grew tired of feeling like I did, who wants to feel like they don't...
    invisiblyreal invisiblyreal 18-21, F 1 Response May 10, 2012

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    Metamorphosis -- My New Life

    I recently had to learn to accept myselfjust the way I am;this wasn’t easy.I didn’t like myself much thenso I didn’t like the way I looked, and my self-worthwas just flushed down the toilet.You can say I was hopeless,at least I felt that way at the time.It took...
    bemyvalentine bemyvalentine 56-60, F 14 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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    A Brand New Life Given To Me Again

     I am about to share a true life experience that happened to me more than Ten Years ago. I was born into a family that could afford me luxury and comfort; I was privileged to attend one of the best schools in my country. Life for me was exciting and at its...
    joerio joerio 36-40, M Jul 28, 2010

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    What A Difference A Decade Makes!

    10 years ago, I left an abusive marriage. I had been with him for 11 years, and the only thing that got me out was my beautiful daughter. I didn't want her to grow up thinking that this was okay. So I dragged all the broken pieces of myself together enough to take her and run...
    amethystrose1972 amethystrose1972 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 4, 2010

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    I Feel Myselff Chanqinq.

    I Dontt Lauqh Thee Samee, Smilee Thee Samee, Orr Talkk Thee Samee Im Jstt Soo Triedd Of Everythinn ...
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 4

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    I would not associate with all the people I

    have been. I hope future me will have a bit more compassion for those people including who I am now. We are all me are all we. Personality is not static.
    anhonestmouse anhonestmouse 31-35, F May 27

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