I Am Numb

It's strange how time has passed and after everything I been through, how can I feel so numb, nowadays? I wonder where is the passion, back a few years ago, everything was parties, going and having fun, in all kinds of ways, with all...

Recently I've just felt SO NUMB. I ended things with my extremely sociopathic ex boyfriend in October/November. He reminded me of American psycho in every way. He had the german nazi military song as his ringtone. THAT crazy.
He stalked...

I have started to notice that I am losing interest in everything around me. Things that used to matter to me now are just slight annoyances, and people that I used to enjoy seeing are simply mandatory get-togethers. I am moving...

combine alcohol with depression that's a mix that is dangerous it does things to people that human beings should not be capable of doing .......it turns people into ruthless nasty , angry, non caring and dangerous , it takes every hing...

Today wasthe day my father tried to kill himself. I am his only daughter, my mom died in my delivery, he and my mom were only children, and therearents are both now dead. My dad tired to slit his own throat, left me a note at school...

They are suffocating me.
Sometimes I don't wanna let go, subconsciously of course. Sometimes I don't care about being ill, I just sit there & keep at being depressed.
But all the strength I have in me keeps telling me to make the jump...

I feel so damn numb right now. I went to bed crying. I woke up crying. I lost so much last night. I thought when I went to bed last night, that it was all just a really bad nightmare. But when I woke up, and reaized it...

so tonight I got into a talk with a friend's cousin, which in fact is a therapist, it was kinda funny until the obvious targeting from his emtional talk about empathy and feelings was directed towards me.
So he asked me about a few...

Everyone thinks I'm your average happy teenage girl. I'm not. Every one of my emotions is forced. I never actually feel happy, depressed, jealous, or angry. I just do because I'm supposed to. In all reality, I'm nothing but a puppet. I...

Sad to admit but I have been numb for over a year.

It's not hard to feel numb, in my opinion it is sort of comfortable, but maybe that is the numbness talking. I am not numb by choice, it does get hard to never feel anything, especially towards my partner. It's so hard to lye with...

I am feeling so numb on the inside and out. My fingers even feel numb typing this. My thoughts, my hopes, my wants, my needs all seem unimportant to me at this moment and this feeling consumes me. I'm going to lay here on the couch and...

Some days I wake up and feel empty. I do stupid things with the hope I get caught... but I can't stand the fallout. I know there is something broken inside, but sometimes....

My goal for the remainder of this semester is to train myself to become a mute unless spoken to. I feel that this will give me a better opportunity to observe the actions and words of others.
The problem? I feel the need to correct all...

Of course every one has feelings. Sometimes its just to much to take. An overload that you cant take. Some are good at breaking down and letting the world see how their emotions have them setting off like a fire work show on the fourth...

I guess that I've been through so much shit this past school year that I no longer give a crap what goes on in my life. For example, my grandfather died almost two months ago. I didn't really cry or feel depressed or anything even...

the only things I seem to feel anymore are absolute pain and crushing numbness, it's getting so bad that I've started cutting myself where no one will be able to see, and half the time I don't even feel that anymore.

If things don't...