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I Am Outwardly Positive I Struggle With Saddness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 120 People

    My Struggle With Dysthymia

    I have always been 'the happy' girl. All my friends tell me that I'm 'a natural high', that I always cheer them up. I sort of pride myself in that fact. Yet, I feel very alone. I can be surrounded by friends and feel like a complete stranger. I get angry, sometimes, that the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 29, 2012

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    My Whole Life I Have Done This

    its never got me too far- I am not one to push myself onto people or beg or skite or demand and bully I struggle with inner sadness and I hope the world changes so that the decent people win over the animals who are pushy and vulgar and bully. I let go of the evil people in...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 17, 2011

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    They Think I'm Fine.

    All of my close friends and family and even my boyfriend think Im fine. I'm really not. I always feel so sad on the inside. Im on anti-depressents but sometimes they arent enough. Im still really sad. Im in therapy for many other reasons, but there are days where I feel so sad...
    cidcat89 cidcat89 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Is There Another Way?

          You know, many would say that radiating artificial positiveness while almost dying from misery inside is hypocrytical, but is it really? Does the world really need to see our depressive face? Do you really think you are goingt o, say, get hired somewhere if you come to...
    Angelfire0310 Angelfire0310 22-25, F Apr 3, 2011

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    I Should Feel Happy

    I am moving. This really isn't a big deal but I'm just going to miss it here. This is the first place i have felt like i have belonged. Its what i have been asking the gods for but i have a job to do. its obviously time for me to move on all my efforts to stay didn't work out...
    protectthebalance protectthebalance 16-17, F Feb 19, 2013

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    Can No One See My Sadness?

    its sad 2 think..evry1 who i have known dosnt really kno meh...they think im happy...but on the inside? im not....i only wish dat once....sum1 cud see past my mask and try 2 see meh...the real meh...i am a human being....i do get emotional...y cant i b allowed 2 cry? wenevr i cry...
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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    Maybe This Will Help..

    I have always been a "happy" person. i smile a lot and i like talking to people i guess. but lately i haven't even feel the desire to get out of bed....or answer my phone....i just feel lonely all the time. everyone always says "i know how you feel" or things will get better...
    secretlysad secretlysad 26-30, F Feb 1, 2012

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    It Has Become Second Nature....

    To always have a big smile on my face and to pretend that I am ok when in actual fact I am crumbling inside. I work with under 5's and so it comes with the job title, you have to be happy and positive. The children come first, there is no time for sadness. I am not allowed to be...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 5, 2011

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    Life Is a Charade.

    Everything i do is geared towards keeping people from finding out about my depression. I decieve everyone i know; my friends, family and classmates because there is nothing they can do, and their concern will only make me feel worse. Largely i am successful in keeping it to...
    wardy131 wardy131 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Just Keep Smiling

    Its hard when its slips , if you talk to anyone I know they will tell you the same thing , Your Bubbly , Happy and ready to help anyone. I havent met anyone I can talk to .I dont want to bother anyone with it . I should be able to deal with it .
    Siri101 Siri101 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Holy Cow!

    There really is an EP forum for every possible condition. I'm usually much chattier but the group name says it all. Ijusthad2join
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I have depression, I have been diagnosed and prescribed the med necessary to allow me to function without breaking down in tears at every hardship. I also struggle with PTSD from...
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    I've struggled with one assignment over the past few weeks tremendously. I've been breaking down. I prayed to God to help me get through this and I ended watching the devil wears...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M Sep 1

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    I struggle with my body image and usually I won't wear girly clothes but today I found 2 identical dresses with different patterns that I absolutely fell in love with. I could've...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 2

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    Hey I'm new to EP and here is my experience: I am gay and struggle with being gay. Recently I am friends with someone who is soooo unique. I am so happy he entered my life because...
    Miwabromam Miwabromam 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 2

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    I have a hard time adjusting to new patterns and new flows. Changing teachers every year, is a struggle with me. And moving away (even if in the same school district) is a...
    wonderousgirl wonderousgirl 16-17 Sep 7

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    What started as anorexia has now been an endless struggle with binge eating, restricting and anorexia relapses for over 11 years. I'm at a healthy weight so everyone thinks I'm...
    MLockeven MLockeven 31-35, F Sep 12

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    I'm smaller than I was (in my last post under "I struggle with my body image") But I have gained weight.. I am now 93.8lbs instead of 92 I am such a ******* failure....
    GabriellaFae GabriellaFae 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 13

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    The struggle is always there. My struggle has gotten a tiny bit better thanks to my bf but.... Day after day after day I still struggle and even though I fit into some clothes I...
    willieverbegoodenough willieverbegoodenough 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    For me life every moment is almost struggle
    edpd1951 edpd1951 61-65, M 2 Responses Sep 3

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    People close to me feel I am very obsessed with myself. I may agree to it. Yes I am self obsessed. The reason probably is that I don't like the way I look and am constantly...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 2 Responses Sep 4

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    Recovery... Realising your worth it. Experiencing true happiness. Caring about yourself. Over coming your own demons. Validating your worth it. Eating with no regret. Relapse, its...
    TheGirlFullOfSecrets TheGirlFullOfSecrets 13-15, F Sep 6

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    Ok. I need to get this one out as a declaration of my new fitness goal. It might be a taboo idea, but my new goal has been inspired by the fact that I am reuniting with a friend of...
    piprimate piprimate 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 8

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    For all of you fighting this, I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 12

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    For as much **** as I ate in the past week or 2, surprised I haven't gained and my face hasn't gotten any rounder because of retaining water weight due to the sodium content. I...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 13

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    I'm 5"8 and weigh 124 pounds at the moment... For years, I never really considered my weight or body image, but my brother started calling me fat and for some reason it really...
    starvingshadows starvingshadows 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 13

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    I think Healthy is Beautiful A lot of people say, "skinny is beautiful." and others object saying, "Curvy girls are much more better." However, out of all these preferences of how...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 13

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    Ugh, I've actually been dealing with this a lot lately. It's a day to day process towards being okay with myself. Repeat to self: I am okay the way I look regardless of what...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F Sep 13

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    I am currently seeking therapy for it. It's strange to say that I have social anxiety because I am a private person, and I enjoy spending time by myself. However, there are times I...
    Close2You Close2You 26-30, M Sep 14

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    I can't remember the last time I looked in the mirror and thought I looked good. In fact, I don't look in the mirror full stop as I'm scared it will crack. I am so self conscious...
    HollowHeart17 HollowHeart17 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 19

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    I'm obsessed about what I want in life and can't get it out of my head. Its nothing uncommon at all but I know without work and complaining all the time wouldn't change anything. I...
    Quentine Quentine 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 21

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    I have lived and survived a life of poverty and abuse..all of them...emotional, physical, sexual etc. I'm also a product of my generation..smart and a late bloomer, life...
    khewster khewster 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 22

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    The other night, a woman other than my wife told me that I was an attractive guy. A few months ago at a concert I went to alone, a woman started speaking with me and told me that...
    mydreamsonly mydreamsonly 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Right now I'm amidst a panic attack and I am out in public, need to collect new glasses, anyway I'm increasingly worried and as an effect paranoia is setting in as I see people...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm okay living with imperfect people and an imperfect life. We're human we can't explore without mistakes, and I'm okay with difficult people, or at least I try. ;)
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    I feel strong emotions, but have trouble expressing them. Sadness at some points, and appreciation for the few people I have runs deep, but I don't know how to tell the truth...
    Almostanonymous Almostanonymous 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Loose Gravel kicked up and down the throat of the mountain. Big britches to fill she sings to herself, as she digs down with her bony fingers into the craggy wall of self discovery...
    faintking faintking 26-30, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Why can't I stop? Why can't I die?
    thalassinia thalassinia 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 1

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    I am so ******* fat!! I can't stand this anymore! I'm a ******* whale!! Why can't I just ******* be skinny!! That is all I freaking want! Pleasssee!!! ;-;
    GabriellaFae GabriellaFae 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    I wish I could look how I look when I'm laying down like in my cover image. It's gotten to bother me when cuddling because I feel like he feels all my fat and is repulsed by me...I...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 7 Responses Sep 1

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    “There’s nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself.” - James Lee Burke “Rejection slips, or form letters, however tactfully phrased, are lacerations...
    TheStoryman TheStoryman 36-40, M 1 Response Sep 2

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    Mirror mirror can't you see, what sou show is killing me
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 2

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    I need to lose weight I can't take this stupid fat body. I need to loose as much weight as possible.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 2

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    Gonna do 500 cals tomorrow .. Tips for not bingo so i dont need to p,,u,,rge please ??
    Unstableteen Unstableteen 13-15, F Sep 4

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    I am almost 13. (Im turning 13 in a month or less) I weigh around 100-90 lbs or even 110 lbs. I hate my stomach and thighs. I joined a tennis team once and won an award but when I...
    omaxson42 omaxson42 13-15, F 8 Responses Sep 6

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    I enjoy dreams which I am visiting other dimensions of civilaztions
    edpd1951 edpd1951 61-65, M Sep 7

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    Every ******* day.............
    HisDaysAreNumbered HisDaysAreNumbered 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Is there anyone I can talk to about this?
    youngnina youngnina 13-15, F