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I Am Outwardly Positive I Struggle With Saddness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 121 People

    Holy Cow!

    There really is an EP forum for every possible condition. I'm usually much chattier but the group name says it all. Ijusthad2join
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2012

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    Life Is a Charade.

    Everything i do is geared towards keeping people from finding out about my depression. I decieve everyone i know; my friends, family and classmates because there is nothing they can do, and their concern will only make me feel worse. Largely i am successful in keeping it to...
    wardy131 wardy131 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    It Has Become Second Nature....

    To always have a big smile on my face and to pretend that I am ok when in actual fact I am crumbling inside. I work with under 5's and so it comes with the job title, you have to be happy and positive. The children come first, there is no time for sadness. I am not allowed to be...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 5, 2011

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    Is There Another Way?

          You know, many would say that radiating artificial positiveness while almost dying from misery inside is hypocrytical, but is it really? Does the world really need to see our depressive face? Do you really think you are goingt o, say, get hired somewhere if you come to...
    Angelfire0310 Angelfire0310 22-25, F Apr 3, 2011

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    They Think I'm Fine.

    All of my close friends and family and even my boyfriend think Im fine. I'm really not. I always feel so sad on the inside. Im on anti-depressents but sometimes they arent enough. Im still really sad. Im in therapy for many other reasons, but there are days where I feel so sad...
    cidcat89 cidcat89 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Can No One See My Sadness?

    its sad 2 think..evry1 who i have known dosnt really kno meh...they think im happy...but on the inside? im not....i only wish dat once....sum1 cud see past my mask and try 2 see meh...the real meh...i am a human being....i do get emotional...y cant i b allowed 2 cry? wenevr i cry...
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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    My Struggle With Dysthymia

    I have always been 'the happy' girl. All my friends tell me that I'm 'a natural high', that I always cheer them up. I sort of pride myself in that fact. Yet, I feel very alone. I can be surrounded by friends and feel like a complete stranger. I get angry, sometimes, that the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 29, 2012

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    I Should Feel Happy

    I am moving. This really isn't a big deal but I'm just going to miss it here. This is the first place i have felt like i have belonged. Its what i have been asking the gods for but i have a job to do. its obviously time for me to move on all my efforts to stay didn't work out...
    protectthebalance protectthebalance 16-17, F Feb 19, 2013

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    Maybe This Will Help..

    I have always been a "happy" person. i smile a lot and i like talking to people i guess. but lately i haven't even feel the desire to get out of bed....or answer my phone....i just feel lonely all the time. everyone always says "i know how you feel" or things will get better...
    secretlysad secretlysad 26-30, F Feb 1, 2012

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    My Whole Life I Have Done This

    its never got me too far- I am not one to push myself onto people or beg or skite or demand and bully I struggle with inner sadness and I hope the world changes so that the decent people win over the animals who are pushy and vulgar and bully. I let go of the evil people in...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 17, 2011

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    Just Keep Smiling

    Its hard when its slips , if you talk to anyone I know they will tell you the same thing , Your Bubbly , Happy and ready to help anyone. I havent met anyone I can talk to .I dont want to bother anyone with it . I should be able to deal with it .
    Siri101 Siri101 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I have had a long and hard struggle with self hatred. I grew up in a family of 9 kids. I seemed to always be the most sensitive. It made me feel as tho something was wrong with me...
    iowateri8309 iowateri8309 51-55 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Springtime is especially hard for me. Depression hits hard and antidepressants only make me ultra rapid cycle. My dr has me on a new antidepressant called Brintellix. I've been on...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Apr 28

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    I struggle with this a lot & find it hard to believe compliments, but the more weight I lose and more exercise I do the more confident I get and it gets that little bit easier
    littlelib littlelib 18-21, F 1 Response May 5

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    I have endometriosis and pcos. I am overweight and I struggle with everything in life. I am just always sad.
    mimiakito123 mimiakito123 18-21, F 3 Responses May 11

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    I've always struggled with this. Ever since I was younger. Kinda doesn't help when your boyfriend is so engulfed with being in the gym...
    SadhbhHarrington SadhbhHarrington 18-21, F 1 Response May 16

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    I am my own worst critic. I nitpick everything to death. My eyebrows, hair, my teeth, smile, nose. If it's a part of me I've probably been dissatisfied with it at one point. It...
    FallingSun FallingSun 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    Communication is key, so they say. Especially in this era of instantaneous, text-based communication! Words can be ambiguous, unfortunately. Each of us individually assign meaning...
    FindmeHoldmeLoveme FindmeHoldmeLoveme 18-21 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    My mom would always try to help me with my eating habits when I was younger but I'd never listen. I just ate whatever without realizing what I was doing to my body. Now I am self...
    KEdouardo KEdouardo 18-21, F 8 hrs ago

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    This life just isn't what it used to be. I have no job, no home, the clothes, shoes & perfumes I have are dwindling down to almost nothing. I'm recovering from a broken arm when I...
    mylifeoutloud mylifeoutloud 41-45, F 2 Responses May 7

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    The trials and tribulations that has happen in my life. I take responsibility of it, because I know the consequences that were going to happen. I'm not perfect, I'm just human that...
    Natashxxs Natashxxs 31-35, F May 13

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    When I was 13 I weighed 197 pounds and I was only 5'5". I've struggled for so long with my weight. I lost 30 pounds before I turned 14 and I've slowly gained it back. I'm tired of...
    socalboy99 socalboy99 22-25, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Well, where do I begin. I recently turned 55 and so disgusted in how I look. I am about a good 20 lbs. over weight and age has definitely taken its toll. In 2013 I had some...
    bramco2015 bramco2015 51-55, F Apr 27

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    I look ok today. I actually braved the mirror and didn't despise what I saw. For those of you who know me you will be aware that this is a huge deal for me. My history of physical...
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 28

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    I don't understand. I'm one of these people who just love. I try to get along with everyone, I have never wanted much, I don't ask for gifts. I love things made or are thoughtful...
    nolife1 nolife1 18-21, F May 6

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    Everyone in my family is fairly slim. My mother, aunt and grandmother were all models at some point. I wasn't a heavy child, but I had a bit of a stomach. They used to tie belts...
    insecured insecured 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

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    I no longer cut or burn myself, but I still do other harmful things like picking at my skins and scabs, pulling out my hair, biting my lip until it bleeds, digging my nails into my...
    NaturallyPeculiar NaturallyPeculiar 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

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    My bipolar makes me hate everything and everyone. I know it's not really me that hates so much, my bipolar has hijacked my brain and has filled it with so much hatred, anger, doubt...
    bipolarPeter bipolarPeter 31-35, M May 9

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    When I was in 6th grade we had the D.A.R.E program, but when I was in the 6th grade, drugs had already taken control of my life. I started drinking at a young age. I'm not gonna...
    Godheals0328 Godheals0328 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    Going 4 days without cutting.... No days without starving.... No days without drinking.....
    bbybleu bbybleu 16-17, F 3 Responses May 14

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    I'm having these love handles and my men boobs that I hate and j font feel good with myself whenever I go to the beach I don't like take take off my shirt I just feel weird seeing...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 6 days ago

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    My mom believes that health is everything, and she's always been a "fitness-addict". But in my family I'm the one with the "different" shape. I've got some hips and butt. Nothing I...
    lisemarii lisemarii 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    i need to loose weight i am so unhappy with myself ...
    flyflyaway87 flyflyaway87 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 24

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    I think I might be Anorexic...I have been really struggling with my body image lately, and I've been making big changes in my diet and everyday routine, just so I can form a...
    PurplePain12359 PurplePain12359 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 26

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    I once told my dad I didn't want dessert when I was feeling fat and he slammed a big jug of ice cream right in front of me with a spoon in it. can't he just respect me when I say...
    aileen2 aileen2 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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    I tell myself I won't get drunk, as soon as I've had a couple of pints, that's it, I'm on it then and can't stop, is there something wrong with me
    cafc1 cafc1 31-35, M 3 Responses Apr 27

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    I am super self conscious when i am naked and aroused for a couple certain reasons. I would like to extinguish this problem and be completely happy and feel free and good about...
    Littlejacki Littlejacki 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 28

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    one day I'll look in the mirror and say "ok, i can work with this..." in the meantime I'll just loathe at the people who I perceive as "perfect"....
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 28

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    Hi im justin im 14 and i have been bullied for 3 years right now im on 8th grade but next year im going to high school and im scared i really cant stand it no more i wanna kill my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 30

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    Life is a bitter sweet pill I am forced to take against my will Everyone trying to pull me Back into so called reality Why, I ask, what does it hold? Don't they see I have nothing...
    1986shanet 1986shanet 26-30, M May 5

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    I know I'm not ugly but I know I'm not as cute as I used to be. What makes it worse is that I fear I will never have the perfect body to fit in with the "gay scene " and it sucks.
    Lilman380 Lilman380 22-25, M 1 Response May 6

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    I used to be thin and my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) couldn't get enough of me so I thought, two kids later, I'm not as fit and have stretch marks. He watches **** now...
    kari7755 kari7755 22-25, F 14 Responses May 7

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