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I Am Outwardly Positive I Struggle With Saddness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 122 People

    Life Is a Charade.

    Everything i do is geared towards keeping people from finding out about my depression. I decieve everyone i know; my friends, family and classmates because there is nothing they can do, and their concern will only make me feel worse. Largely i am successful in keeping it to...
    wardy131 wardy131 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    My Whole Life I Have Done This

    its never got me too far- I am not one to push myself onto people or beg or skite or demand and bully I struggle with inner sadness and I hope the world changes so that the decent people win over the animals who are pushy and vulgar and bully. I let go of the evil people in...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 17, 2011

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    It Has Become Second Nature....

    To always have a big smile on my face and to pretend that I am ok when in actual fact I am crumbling inside. I work with under 5's and so it comes with the job title, you have to be happy and positive. The children come first, there is no time for sadness. I am not allowed to be...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 5, 2011

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    Just Keep Smiling

    Its hard when its slips , if you talk to anyone I know they will tell you the same thing , Your Bubbly , Happy and ready to help anyone. I havent met anyone I can talk to .I dont want to bother anyone with it . I should be able to deal with it .
    Siri101 Siri101 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Can No One See My Sadness?

    its sad 2 think..evry1 who i have known dosnt really kno meh...they think im happy...but on the inside? im not....i only wish dat once....sum1 cud see past my mask and try 2 see meh...the real meh...i am a human being....i do get emotional...y cant i b allowed 2 cry? wenevr i cry...
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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    Maybe This Will Help..

    I have always been a "happy" person. i smile a lot and i like talking to people i guess. but lately i haven't even feel the desire to get out of bed....or answer my phone....i just feel lonely all the time. everyone always says "i know how you feel" or things will get better...
    secretlysad secretlysad 26-30, F Feb 1, 2012

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    Is There Another Way?

          You know, many would say that radiating artificial positiveness while almost dying from misery inside is hypocrytical, but is it really? Does the world really need to see our depressive face? Do you really think you are goingt o, say, get hired somewhere if you come to...
    Angelfire0310 Angelfire0310 22-25, F Apr 3, 2011

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    Holy Cow!

    There really is an EP forum for every possible condition. I'm usually much chattier but the group name says it all. Ijusthad2join
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2012

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    They Think I'm Fine.

    All of my close friends and family and even my boyfriend think Im fine. I'm really not. I always feel so sad on the inside. Im on anti-depressents but sometimes they arent enough. Im still really sad. Im in therapy for many other reasons, but there are days where I feel so sad...
    cidcat89 cidcat89 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    My Struggle With Dysthymia

    I have always been 'the happy' girl. All my friends tell me that I'm 'a natural high', that I always cheer them up. I sort of pride myself in that fact. Yet, I feel very alone. I can be surrounded by friends and feel like a complete stranger. I get angry, sometimes, that the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 29, 2012

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    I Should Feel Happy

    I am moving. This really isn't a big deal but I'm just going to miss it here. This is the first place i have felt like i have belonged. Its what i have been asking the gods for but i have a job to do. its obviously time for me to move on all my efforts to stay didn't work out...
    protectthebalance protectthebalance 16-17, F Feb 19, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    What first brought me to this site was a blog that I came across. I now see that this site has turned for the worst lol... Any who a few of us still use it to vent blog etc...
    simplelife60 simplelife60 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    I have struggled with my body image for 7 years now and my father is partially to blame. He always dictated the things that I ate and told me that I needed to lose weight ect. And...
    JessicaTacos JessicaTacos 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 24

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    2 years I struggled with self harm ... Scars on my wrist and thigh ... I haven't self harmed in over a year ... Just got my heart ripped out and stomped on .... I have my blade in...
    dyinginside4 dyinginside4 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    I am 28 years old. I started to dislike my body at 12... how is it possible that I have disliked my reflection for 16 years? I struggle with it daily and even when I change my self...
    ozzgrrl ozzgrrl 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I write this with my own experience in mind, I do not judge anyone yet I will 'preach' about how addiction can ruin your quality of life. I have struggled with opiates, but...
    TheCoitalQueen TheCoitalQueen 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 6

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    I struggle with everything around me.. I am 26 years old and how could it be worse when your mother still call you a thousand times when you not come home in a week? I'm not 16...
    heartandbrain heartandbrain 26-30, F Dec 9

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    I feel so isolated and worthless, I've struggled with these feelings since I was a child.. I've grown so used to it I'm comfortable feeling this way which is sad, I can't keep...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I know he is real, but I feel like he "comes and goes". (Like exiting and opening a door) whenever he wants. I think the last time might've been my fault though. I know heaven...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Nov 21

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    But I love him, which just makes it more sad when I struggle <3
    thinkdeeper thinkdeeper 22-25, M Dec 5

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    Hence why the experience title has "struggled" meaning past tense.. Having an eating disorder is very difficult, at least for me it was. There were days i would just randomly...
    MichellexxLevine314 MichellexxLevine314 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    I struggle to eat even a small meal a day without worrying about my body
    itsjustlucy123 itsjustlucy123 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    Struggle is not the right word. I'm challenged maybe. On the outside I am a good girl and mostly I am, but I love sex..........love, love, love sex! All kinds! The funkier, the...
    YoloJones YoloJones 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    How can The Lord be so loving, yet it feels like he is just playing a game with me? I feel like I hit a point where I finally might "have it" (what I think is true faith) only to...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Nov 21

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    I have been addicted to opiates for almost two years now. It started with a surgery,then a series of surgeries and a car wreck. I do have issues with pain that justify taking them...
    Emmigale Emmigale 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 21

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    I feel pressured to be muscly like those guys with big biceps and pecs, but I really don't.
    haygreen98 haygreen98 16-17, M Nov 22

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    I have an addiction with nicotine and alcohol... I refuse to see a counselor because when I'm there I'll deny till the death of me
    youguyssuck69 youguyssuck69 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 25

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    I purged the 3rd time yesterday... Before I was only restricted type. Than I started to exercise and also chew and spit and finally also purge... I'm forced to eat and need to put...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 25

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    I remember being able to walk up to a stranger, compliment them on something, and then we hit it off from there. I don't know what happened between then and now but now I can't...
    SweetcakesJr SweetcakesJr 13-15, F Nov 25

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    I find that when I am late to something (event/work/sports) or remember something that i forgot to do, I shut down and go into a reclusive state, where I find I can't socialize...
    RiverWilson RiverWilson 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 25

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    As I leave my flat at Webb house supported housing for people with mental health issues I walk down the road and I walk in mark & Spenser in middlesbrough I stand before the mirror...
    lostsouluk lostsouluk 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26

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    “I want to be alone… with someone else who wants to be alone.” Dimitri Zaik.
    chris23cnm chris23cnm 22-25, M Nov 27

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    Purged last night. Saw so much blood but I'm so used to seeing blood when I purge it doesn't scare me. I know I should be more worried but I just don't care. I'm feeled with apathy...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27

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    I'm ashamed to look at people, I don't want them to see my ugliness. I always, always.. think on how I look from third person, every angle, every lighting condition, and it gets me...
    xRiax xRiax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 28

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    I started self harming three years ago I don't do it a lot I do it when I can't take it anymore. I first self harmed when I found out that dad cheated on mom and I felt so bad I...
    Busexx Busexx 16-17, F Nov 28

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    Im finding things really hard at the moment. People don't really understand but then again I dont really understand my own feelings, so why should anyone else? I can't go to school...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    I visited a psychiatrist for the first time today because I have an attention problem and she prescribed me an attention deficit medicine without screening me so anxiety washed all...
    psychedelicblues psychedelicblues 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29

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    I've never hated myself before. But recently I'm struggling with is. less hating who am, but more hating who I was. a weak needy person. I know I'm not that person anymore but...
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    In this moment I feel like the same little girl who desperately knocked on her neighbors doors looking for someone to play with. Wandering around outside looking for a friend. Here...
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I managed to go almost a year without many slip ups :( and now I'm suffering again. Every time I eat I feel guilty, but then I feel guilt if I don't eat. I'm fighting with myself...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F Dec 7

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F Dec 8

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    It's nearly impossible for me to do. People don't care about anything unless they're getting something out of knowing you. I can't be bothered with people like that!
    RememberingSunday22 RememberingSunday22 36-40, F Dec 9

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    i cant eat more that one small meal a day without being worried about my body
    wantthistoend wantthistoend 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 10

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    Whether it be from job interviews or people its a hard thing to deal with... When someone ignores me I take it as rejection as well.. it started from my mother because she has...
    Gaffa1234 Gaffa1234 22-25, F Dec 10

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    I would never admit it to people I actually know but I have known for a while that I have a problem. Its weird to talk about and I doubt anyone cares but I am going to talk about...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 11

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