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I Am Outwardly Positive I Struggle With Saddness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 119 People

    My Struggle With Dysthymia

    I have always been 'the happy' girl. All my friends tell me that I'm 'a natural high', that I always cheer them up. I sort of pride myself in that fact. Yet, I feel very alone. I can be surrounded by friends and feel like a complete stranger. I get angry, sometimes, that the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 29, 2012

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    It Has Become Second Nature....

    To always have a big smile on my face and to pretend that I am ok when in actual fact I am crumbling inside. I work with under 5's and so it comes with the job title, you have to be happy and positive. The children come first, there is no time for sadness. I am not allowed to be...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 5, 2011

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    Holy Cow!

    There really is an EP forum for every possible condition. I'm usually much chattier but the group name says it all. Ijusthad2join
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2012

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    Life Is a Charade.

    Everything i do is geared towards keeping people from finding out about my depression. I decieve everyone i know; my friends, family and classmates because there is nothing they can do, and their concern will only make me feel worse. Largely i am successful in keeping it to...
    wardy131 wardy131 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Just Keep Smiling

    Its hard when its slips , if you talk to anyone I know they will tell you the same thing , Your Bubbly , Happy and ready to help anyone. I havent met anyone I can talk to .I dont want to bother anyone with it . I should be able to deal with it .
    Siri101 Siri101 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    My Whole Life I Have Done This

    its never got me too far- I am not one to push myself onto people or beg or skite or demand and bully I struggle with inner sadness and I hope the world changes so that the decent people win over the animals who are pushy and vulgar and bully. I let go of the evil people in...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 17, 2011

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    Is There Another Way?

          You know, many would say that radiating artificial positiveness while almost dying from misery inside is hypocrytical, but is it really? Does the world really need to see our depressive face? Do you really think you are goingt o, say, get hired somewhere if you come to...
    Angelfire0310 Angelfire0310 22-25, F Apr 3, 2011

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    Maybe This Will Help..

    I have always been a "happy" person. i smile a lot and i like talking to people i guess. but lately i haven't even feel the desire to get out of bed....or answer my phone....i just feel lonely all the time. everyone always says "i know how you feel" or things will get better...
    secretlysad secretlysad 26-30, F Feb 1, 2012

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    I Should Feel Happy

    I am moving. This really isn't a big deal but I'm just going to miss it here. This is the first place i have felt like i have belonged. Its what i have been asking the gods for but i have a job to do. its obviously time for me to move on all my efforts to stay didn't work out...
    protectthebalance protectthebalance 16-17, F Feb 19, 2013

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    Can No One See My Sadness?

    its sad 2 think..evry1 who i have known dosnt really kno meh...they think im happy...but on the inside? im not....i only wish dat once....sum1 cud see past my mask and try 2 see meh...the real meh...i am a human being....i do get emotional...y cant i b allowed 2 cry? wenevr i cry...
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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    They Think I'm Fine.

    All of my close friends and family and even my boyfriend think Im fine. I'm really not. I always feel so sad on the inside. Im on anti-depressents but sometimes they arent enough. Im still really sad. Im in therapy for many other reasons, but there are days where I feel so sad...
    cidcat89 cidcat89 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Im going to skip the details as to how i got this way. My family problems are personal to me, but ill provide all of the info i see relevant. I go crazy about my weight and body...
    TragedyorRemedy TragedyorRemedy 16-17, F 21 hrs ago

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    Since 8th grade I have struggled with so much anxiety. I used to think it was just me getting nervous seeing people I knew out in public, but it gets to a point when you know you...
    xsarah23x xsarah23x 16-17, F Jul 31

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    I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I don't think I am pretty. Id say im cute at most but not pretty and certainly not "hot". I've struggled with my weight my whole life and I've recently...
    adimarie adimarie 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 24

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    I struggle with it a lot. my lower arms and lower legs arm like a skinny persons but my thighs are huge and my stomach is just uhhh... I put myself on a diet which was long over do...
    RavenRena17 RavenRena17 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    I have struggled with this for a long time, but it always comes and goes. Today i started thinking about how I don't make enough art. I do wish I made more, and I do feel that...
    purposebuilt purposebuilt 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 5

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    Depressed, still finding out if I'm bipolar but I think so. Finding myself being sad and with low self-esteem all the time. Paranoid of everyone around me. Think people are out to...
    gekker gekker 22-25, F 11 hrs ago

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    I still struggle daily...and I am scared it's beating me..
    allisonbrookwhite allisonbrookwhite 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I'm basically Michael Jackson reincarnated, except without the talent of course. Just self-hatred wise.
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 16-17, F Jul 23

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    When I go out I find it hard or when I go swimming, I try not to wear tank tops or shorts because I'm quiet muscly and my body is not famine at all. When I was with my friends I...
    TargetAimShootKill TargetAimShootKill 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 25

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    I can't keep a man if my life depended on it. Every single time I get a good guy, I'll be all down for a relationship then out of no where I'm like "nahhhh" and it sucks cause I've...
    jayybbyx jayybbyx 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    I'm at work and there's a fridge in the office with chocolate and cake in it. Right now I'm alone, and it's really hard to resist the temptation to eat. But I'm tryinggggg I haven...
    emmacla emmacla 22-25, F Jul 28

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    I haven't lived the life I wanted. I haven't made my dreams fly. I gave up on a lot of things. Maybe because I'm not strong. Maybe because it's not time yet. I know we all hold...
    Ludavin Ludavin 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 28

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    Perfection💕 Perfection is a disease that kills The thought of rejection gives you chills You want to be tall and thin Like everyone else you want to fit in It hurts but it's...
    Suicidekisses Suicidekisses 16-17, F Jul 29

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    I'm definitely an 'up and down'er with my weight. First hit a high weight at 13, slowly through healthy balanced dieting lost it an emerged through it at 15. Then went too far and...
    MillyMilly33 MillyMilly33 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    It's recently started actually if you read my profile you'll know I don't have much evidence as a Christian which is true and post that I'm Christian because well it's a fact I'm...
    chooseyourpath chooseyourpath 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 1

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    I have a **** load of stuff wrong with me but I won't let it control my life again. I'm doing my best to cope with this incurable ****. I was diagnosed with the skitsophrenia(I can...
    ponycupcake ponycupcake 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm bad for everyone in my life. I just really feel like ending my life. I'm done with struggling, done with no one understanding, done with...
    got2Breal got2Breal 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 3

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    It's a living hell really. Just going out in public is hard to do. I hate being in crowds. Therapist hasn't helped much. Hell, even being around my bestfriend is hard to do now...
    thatoneguy336 thatoneguy336 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 4

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    If there's a large amount of people in a single room I have a real problem with that
    panthrax00 panthrax00 16-17, M Aug 4

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    I'm short and have an hourglass figure - think Marilyn Monroe with thinner thighs. I will never be a tall, skinny supermodel. I hate my tummy - even at my lowest adult weight (107...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 15 Responses Aug 5

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    I see all the lonely depressed young people looking to talk to someone that will listen to them on here. If I could help here are a few things I would suggest: Google "PBS...
    TCLowe TCLowe 31-35 Aug 5

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    We all need a man that looks at us with passion and desire despite our flaws. Someone who can make us feel sexy and confident. A man who loves you for you...,,
    desirabledreams desirabledreams 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    My newest editions along with the old scratches that scarred worse than I thought they would.
    thalassinia thalassinia 13-15, F Aug 12

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    Mostly around my little sis and friends all who would be an au size 6 or under. I love my curves and wouldn't change it for the world but when you go out and someone else refers to...
    calmj calmj 22-25, M 4 Responses Aug 12

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    The thing is there are a lot of pretty girls out there. They're pretty and they don't even try. They don't wear makeup and they don't have to spend hours doing their hair. It's all...
    BeautifulMistake21 BeautifulMistake21 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    I really need someone who can relte, I have been dealing with this since I was 9 and trying so hard to stop. Please help me. Please don't jdge and I won't judge you.
    guitarsongwriter guitarsongwriter 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 13

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    Its easy to do it online. you can be anonymous, someone else entirely... In real life it's so hard to be completely emotionally naked with another human being. Even telling someone...
    InMybubble InMybubble 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I am always really bad with my words and usually offend people by saying the wrong thing, I say one thing and mean another. Opening up to people really makes me uncomfortable...
    maddieXxx maddieXxx 16-17, F a week ago

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    I hate myself so much. I know it has a lot to do with my past but it doesn't change the way I feel. I genuinely think that everything that happened to me is my fault. I used to...
    Clouds8 Clouds8 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I have always been sort of a Nymphomaniac. I did not have sex until I met the guy I love and am still with. As soon as we began having sex, I became addicted. I will randomly get...
    MacKenzie2943 MacKenzie2943 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sitting in rehab trying not to lose my ****, trying to keep myself together, trying to silence the voices in my head talking all at once, even my own. If my other arm was working...
    MorbidMorals MorbidMorals 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It's been 3 months since I've cut myself .. I had really bad depression , I had to take pills . I had really bad anxiety , I couldn't breath . And I've tried to commit suicide 2...
    MiaSnider MiaSnider 13-15, F Jul 22

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    Back down to 108 pounds! YEAH!!!!
    SkinnyJenny420 SkinnyJenny420 18-21, F Jul 22

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    I'm really ugly but everyone keeps telling me I'm pretty. It's ******* me off because it's not true.
    UndyingLovatic UndyingLovatic 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there's no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F Jul 26

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    Hate the way I look so much. Always so insecure about everything about me...
    TheAngelFromMyNightmare TheAngelFromMyNightmare 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 27

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    When people are constantly telling me how pretty I am, or how gorgeous, beautiful, whatever, it makes me feel like I need to do everything in my power to remain that way. That if...
    Heartbeatangel Heartbeatangel 18-21, F 10 Responses Jul 27

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