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I Am Overwhelmed By My Memories and My Scars

No matter how hard I try, how much therapy I do, I can never seem to let go of the demons in my mind 335 People

    Sometimes, you find yourself somewhere you

    never expected to be. Sometimes life forks and you have to make a decision then and there. Sometimes, the choice isn't a choice, but an eventuality. I'm happy with where I am. Even if I'm not where I want to be. It's where I need to be.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 22

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    Scarring Myself

    I was recently thinking about how, because of my scars and the feelings of worthlessness that was produced by them, I scar myself. I scar myself by making bad choices, getting into relationships that are bad, and self sabotage. In a way I am a "cutter" but instead of physically...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 27, 2010

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    This Will Help You.

    http://video.server.dhamma.org/video/intro/vintro.htm watch the videos on that page with an open mind. Peace.
    tyrian69 tyrian69 22-25, M Sep 12, 2012

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    when I was 4 or 5 years old I found my 6 month

    old sister dead.. it always haunts me...
    fOrEvErYoURs321 fOrEvErYoURs321 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    School Mainly

    What can I say? CHildren are cruel..they say whatever they want..not knowing or giving a damn that the things they say possibly will effect a person in the long run..
    lostprophet lostprophet 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2009

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    I Have Seen More Then Most People

    I fight my own demons of my past. I have night terrors and nightmares every night. flash backs, wishful thinking, and feeling the pain that the past has giving me. I have scares that may never heal in my lifetime. My memories get so so so overwhelming that i have tried to commit...
    PunkCowgirl PunkCowgirl 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2009

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    Hard.

    the scars are the memories. of how i was. of how there is a chance i could be like that again. it scares me. and it's really hard to not act on those impulses. when i feel like doing those things again, the scars are a reminder. a constant reminder.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 12, 2009

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    Down Beckley Ave. she's prolly 16,

    maybe younger, little malnourished body, stomach growling from hunger, she's posted on the corner waiting to get paid, by nasty n***@$ looking to get suc*3d up or l@!d, they tell her what she's worth, ten, maybe five, she takes it cuz out here, we're tought anything to...
    heysmellthis heysmellthis 26-30, M Dec 27, 2014

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    energymustmove energymustmove 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Cry

    I never cry. It's not because I have no feelings. It's not because I'm numb or anything. Sometimes I want to cry, just to release those feelings.. But I don't know how to. Tears just don't come no matter how hard I try. I even poked myself in the eye once, just to get them...
    xSilverWillowx xSilverWillowx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2011

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    when I try to look back

    or whenever I happen to pass by memories, I just can't help but draw a smile on my face...
    hummingtree hummingtree 13-15, F Dec 26, 2014

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    I Am Not In As Bad Of A Position As Some

    My memories are mostly near and dear to me. Some are not, but most are. This is mainly why I become overwhelmed. Things are so lame now, I think back to times when things were great. I wish I could travel back and become lost in the moment, never to return. The bad memories haunt...
    TheEvilLeaper TheEvilLeaper 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 16, 2011

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    I'm Covered In Hate

    recently I've been unable to look away from the fact that I am almost completely covered in scars. I'm getting a tattoo soon and there is only one place I can get it cuz everywhere else I'm to scarred.This is a map over my scars over my body and I haven't been able to take my...
    NoatoNoaki NoatoNoaki 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 23, 2011

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    How To Overcome Scar Deformity

    I had a car accident 3 months ago where my face went into my windscreen, i had a chunck of skin taken out from half of my eyebrow and just above my eyelid, i had to have a skin graft, so no hair will ever grow back on my eyebrow, iam only 28 years old, and i look horrible! The...
    angiesmithy angiesmithy 26-30 7 Responses May 5, 2011

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    Scars Keep Me Going

    I know why we do itthere are all different reasonsfor some it is the bloodfor some it is the releasefor some they just like the painIt’s the only pain they can controlfor others it is the sense of being in controlbut for me it is the scarsthose are what I cravefor they are...
    FinallyBeingReal FinallyBeingReal 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 8, 2012

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    What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted

    Just lately a series of events has triggered of some emotions i was hoping had been put to bed.One thing has returned to my mind and is at the forefront of my attention. My chest is tight and my head is full of thought.I want to cry again as well when i think of how little she...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 8, 2012

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    I Am Over Whelmed At Times......

    I do get over whelmed at times, they take me over for a short time....then I fight and push them back. It keeps me in check at times of who I am, and how I got here, and what mes me who I am today....but sometimes they can be a bit much. My scars run deep....so when the triggers...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 23, 2010

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    And........

    THAT'S WHY I AM THE WAY I AM. OH, I'M MUCH BETTER NOW BUT THERE ARE STILL PARTS OF ME THAT HIDE. PARTS OF ME THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY OR KNOW THE WARMTH OF LOVE. THERE ARE DEMONS INSIDE THAT TIE BITS OF ME UP & I CAN NEVER GET AWAY. I NEVER USE TO CARE THAT THEY...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 9, 2009

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    The first cut is the deepest opening your soul

    for the others to come in and to rob you of your peace of mind making every second hell.
    ForTheFallen ForTheFallen 22-25, M Dec 26, 2014

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    Just bought myself a hungry man turkey dinner

    for thanksgiving. Will be alone this year.
    lionessstrong lionessstrong 46-50, F Nov 14, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I got very angry with myself and cut my legs with a box cutter.It was really sharp,I just touched my leg with it and it started to bleed a lot.Now there is lot of scars.I hate...
    ughjustfiveminutesmore ughjustfiveminutesmore 18-21, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I know it's odd, but I find myself attracted to people that cut and that have scars. During my stay at a behavior unit, I met a boy around my age who had schizophrenia and was a...
    NightOwlGirl NightOwlGirl 18-21, F Apr 2

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    Each silvery strand has their own memory, their own amount of pain, but also strength. Yes, the blade was all I lived for at some points in my life, but that's why the scars mean...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    I decided to wear a t-shirt today. Now I remember how uncomfortable being stared at feels. A random chick asked me what my scars were and I told her they were none of her...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 16-17, T 1 Response Apr 13

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    I don't think you should hate your scars. Scars just mean you survived.
    Cosmicmutt Cosmicmutt 18-21, M Apr 6

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    i have too many. good memories and bad memories. both leave me hurting. i actually prefer the bad memories to the good ones. the good memories hurt worse
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic 36-40, F Mar 30

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    So I met a girl recently who spiked my interest in astrology, which i had been raised to mistrust and reject. It was a sin to entertain it because it was seeking counsel in...
    babybop12 babybop12 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    My grandmother on my mothers side used TCP antiseptic cream .. Now when I use this after one of my 'accident prone' episodes memories flood back of my grandmother.. My grandfather...
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 16

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    I am so overwhelmed by my life. The part that makes it so bad is no one cares, even though they can see it. I help everyone but I can't get anyone to lift a finger for me. Today...
    ptsdlady ptsdlady 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Yes all my scars and cuts tell my struggle.I messed up in life and just there again.I promised I wouldn't do it but I did.
    MusicLover4Eternity MusicLover4Eternity 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 4

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    I have scars all over my arms and legs but I don't mind them. I try not to look at people when my arms are bare because I know they're staring at me. I worry that people will think...
    LinkinParkMuse LinkinParkMuse 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Despite that, I can't fully hate my scars. They're disgusting and pathetic, and they prove how much of a weak person I am, but the thought of them ever fading makes me feel awful...
    DespicableMind DespicableMind 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 6

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    Will anyone love me, with my nasty self harm scars on my arms. I feel like i have to hide them all the time... :(
    LastNameSmith1996 LastNameSmith1996 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 6

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    yes I am a cutter. I have scars on my stomach, throat, wrists and legs.
    Ang012685 Ang012685 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    They're healing, but there's a big one and it's gonna end up as a nasty scar .. It's my own fault but I couldn't help it. My best friend's birthday is in two weeks time and I don...
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    its been over a year since my last cut and the scars are nowhere easily seen and faded. ive tried different scar products and nothing makes it completely go away.
    Socalsunset Socalsunset 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    I wish my scars were not something to be ashamed of.
    Littlegirlblue22 Littlegirlblue22 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    Yes I've bled. We all have once. Mine was just by choice. It's something that ties me down to reality. My clipped wings. My reminder. My choice. My scars are a reminder of WHO I...
    Zeffernissle Zeffernissle 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    So... yesterday I was playing in the yard with the dog when my little sister came to play with me...she (just like most people of my family) doesn't know about my self harm and...
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    has anyone ever gotten steroid injections into their scars by a doctor to try and get rid of them? if so, did it help lower the raised scar tissue?
    armpitdrip armpitdrip 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    its weird but i find scars totally attractive and if a girl is still cutting and she gets pleasure from it its irresistible ,i swear but my favorite thing is to have the trust of...
    chaspowell chaspowell 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Six months of togetherness. It's a big coincidence that you left on the same date , the same date when we first met. We always have been dealing with such coincidences. You...
    lovemylife2210 lovemylife2210 26-30, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I write about my childhood memories. I was very young when I remember my father fighting with my mom. I was so very small when I started down the hallway to stop the screams. In...
    Soulrebirth Soulrebirth 46-50, M Mar 30

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