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I Am Passive-aggressive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 312 People

    How I Can Defeat Being Passive Aggressive!

    My marriage is going to the dump because I can not express myself to my wife. This cycle has been going on for just more than 9 years. Now we have come to a point in our relationship and family to decide if we move forward and heal or end it.  I have known my wife for...
    rborsky rborsky 36-40, M 3 Responses May 17, 2010

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    Today I actually admitted to myself

    that I have a problem with being passive-aggressive. After doing A LOT of reading and researching, it makes sense for me. I fit the signs to a T. Now comes the hard part: Getting help and growing past it. Any help/advice/thoughts/anything would be appreciated, because I'm more...
    eawilli eawilli 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    42 And Only Just Realizing Scope And Depth Of Pa

    Hi, fellow PA sufferers. 8 months ago my PA finally destroyed my relationship with my long suffering partner, and I found myself homeless, jobless, alone, and facing a dead end at the age of 41. Now I am struggling to find a way to address this condition, before I loseany more...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 10, 2012

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    up until a few months ago,

    i had never heard of passive aggressive personality disorder. after reading up about it im conviced thats what i have had for many many years. a string of failed relationships ( not always my fault ) im often selfish with other ppl including my partner, sulk if i dont get my own...
    blackpuss blackpuss 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 26

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    It's Official:

    As of today, I am consciously passive-aggressive with my spouse. It took 21 years to get to this point, 21 years of approaching things directly, while calm.  21 years of having him conveniently forget almost anything of substance.  21 years of having him take absolutely no...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 5 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    I Am Done!!!!!

    I have been with my husband for 19 years and his passive-aggressive behavior seemed to start after my death of my son!  His stepson whom he didn't spend the time to get to know, my son was in and out of our life. I had complicated grief and when I...
    itiswhatitis61 itiswhatitis61 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2009

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    I Need Advice Please!

    Well I've been having problems in my relationship. We have been together for about four years but recently had a breakup about catching him talking to another girl. When he explained himself he said that he told her i love you but didnt mean it, that he only really loves me. We...
    AsderG AsderG 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    Can someone explain why someone

    who is passive aggressive will constantly ask personal questions and then walk away without saying anything after you respond? I find it extremely rude, why ask in the first place? My roommate does this and every time it always leaves me a little dumbfounded. Thanks ☺️
    HopefulLovelyLioness HopefulLovelyLioness 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 18

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    Looking to Change My Ways

      Characterised by resentment and a feeling of entitlement? Just a thought...   I think for me, the fundamental problem caused by this kind of behaviour is an inability to be myself in any social situation.  I often describe it as a fear of being in the moment...
    CultOfByron CultOfByron 31-35, M Aug 5, 2009

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    Whenever I get super angry at my moms boyfriend,

    I just spit on everything he loves. It's great because he has no idea he's bathing in, eating, and cherishing my backwash. He's a piece of ****. But I guess reacting like that means I am too. Whatever.
    thisonechick thisonechick 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    Or The Loud One In Relationships

    I learned both from my mom: "If he ****** you off, and I mean not just any ol' thing, but REALLY ****** you off, just stop talking to him," she said, "It'll make him think about what he's done." So, I always kept that in mind. And it works. Passive Aggressive Silence is my weapon...
    RitaRee RitaRee 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 24, 2011

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    Oh The Irony Of Discussing This On An Anonymous Website

    I want everyone to like me even when I don't like the other people. Actually it's when others blatantly dislike me that I stick around to change their minds. I have an enormous family, so all information is passed via gossip. I can tell my mother something super personal and my...
    samanthajeanrobertson samanthajeanrobertson 22-25 Aug 24, 2011

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    I Learned It From My Mom

    my mom always is passive-aggressive. my whole life, she's used guilt tactics and subtle anger to make me do what she wants. as a result, i'm the type of girl that'll pretend to be ok but who will insert sly, snarky comments to let you know i'm actually mad. i use guilt a lot...
    possibly possibly 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    Looking for insight from a PA viewpoint

    Ok, first, I am not passive aggressive. But I am still reeling from a relationship with a man who is and won't talk to me and I have so many questions and thought I could get some perspective from all of you who are and this is the largest group of you that I know of who might be...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 8, 2013

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    I wish I could change this trait be more

    assertive . I can be extremely pissed and not show it .....but still make a point cuz that's what your trying to do just not aggressively :/ I'm a mess at times
    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 21

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    It’s very difficult to tell,

    whether you’ve made an enemy out of a passive aggressive person. They will probably deflect any attempt from you to read their emotional state. It could be that they don’t care or aren’t bothered, but there’s also the possibility that you’ve hurt them deeply and that...
    TheGreatLeveler TheGreatLeveler 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 14

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    I looked up passive aggression on Wikipedia the

    other day, it's amazing what a thin line there is between being passive aggressive and incompetent. One you're not doing the job correctly and the other you're being an *******. I've done both before. Usually not getting it done right the first time, becoming good at it and...
    Modiwolfshit Modiwolfshit 41-45, M Dec 3, 2013

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    Passive-aggressive

    I am for the most part extremely passive towards most people but if anyone says or does anything to insult me or one of my friends, that's when I get mean. Sometimes they're just too dumb to understand and think nothing of me. Sure....call me sub-human why don't ya..it's...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    Well Ok, I Am, But That's Not The Whole Story

    The moment of realization, of finally apprehending a long standing problem which has blighted your enjoyment of life and devalued everything and everyone of importance to you, can be traumatic, it can be like being woken in the wee wee hours, only to find that there really has...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 12, 2012

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    Moving Towards A Healthier Happier Life

    So, after years of emotional turbulence, creating a plethora of long lasting relationship and family problems, seeking help from professionals to stave off further distress and growing isolation, misdiagnoses and inappropte medications, such as antidepressants and antipsychotics...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2012

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    The Consequences Of A Passive Agressive Personality

    I probably have been a passive agressive most of my life but did not know until now. Unfortunately, no matter what I do to change it, my current wife can not accept and we are headed for a divorce. So, my advice for others is to explore yourselves and find solutions to improve...
    pajoe pajoe 61-65, M 1 Response Oct 10, 2010

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    My Bloody Idiots As Frinds

    Ok it takes a lot of power to ratel my chane but my friends know exactly how to do it and thay do it as much as thay can I have three things that get me mean 1st is getting quots wrong 2ed if thay fight me with religion and 3rd when thay say just so stupid stuff I just can't stad...
    sbocaj5 sbocaj5 22-25, M Oct 20, 2013

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    The Evil ***---- Finally Did It. I'm Done.

    In the ten years that i've known him with all the on and off back and forth between us. I always tried to understand him and forgive him. I would be so angry and stuperfied by his inconsiderate behavior. Not answering his phone, not returning calls, disappearing and reappearing...
    coco428 coco428 46-50 5 Responses Feb 27, 2011

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    My Story and Why Am Here

    , well, its not really me, but my wife. I hope I will be welcomed here as I need help from others who understand PA so I can better cope. My wife of 21 years is a very passive, quiet person, but a couple of years ago family issues from her past came back and there is no budging...
    MJB MJB 51-55 3 Responses Jan 10, 2008

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    I have come to terms with it.

    Yes, I'm passive-aggressive. How do I deal with my behavior? A part of me doesn't want to change the way I am, a part of me knows it's toxic. My actions have affected my relationships, my career, my entire life. Friendships have been neglected, work ethics have been forgotten...
    metaphornographic metaphornographic 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    I have just come to the conclusion

    that I am PA. For the most part I am ruining my own life. Even though they say never diagnose yourself almost everything that I have read about PA fits me. I have come here because I just feel that confession is the best first step. Over the last ten years or so, I have been...
    ootfgmoney ootfgmoney 51-55 1 Response Feb 14

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    Realisation Of Passive Aggressiveness

    Hi I have for many years battled with my emotions. My mother died when I was 14 and my father was not very good at being a father. My father had affairs and this caused lots of arguments at home which I as a small child found hard to deal with and so tended to shut myself away...
    welsh79 welsh79 31-35, M 5 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    I would like to know what is the root to this

    disorder? Fear and insecurity? How can you say you love someone and yet that very same person is perceived as the enemy? Why do you stay with someone that you believe is out to get you? Why keep them dangling with tiny threads of hope when you see them as a monster? Baffling!!!
    MrsMiss MrsMiss 51-55, F Jan 13

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    I Am One

    I think I am one... and I don't know even know what exactly it means.Teehee. :D
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 Dec 8, 2012

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    Today

    Today I have finally admitted I am a passive-aggressive person.  Now comes the hard part.  I would love any adivce from anyone who can help.  I am feeling a little lost right now.Thank you.
    nicbrit70 nicbrit70 41-45 4 Responses Aug 2, 2011

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    Misdiagnosis

    Hi PA people, For years, I frequently suffered from bouts of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. On occasion, stress related illnesses flared up and seriously debilitated me. I seemed to be at the mercy of my emotions, and this severely challenged my ability to lead a...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff 41-45, M 3 Responses Feb 15, 2012

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    I Hate Slow Drivers

    I just hate it, when i.m driving and people go waaaay toooooo slooooow!!!
    nokaoi nokaoi 36-40, M Mar 3, 2013

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    I Am Passive Aggressive and Now Is Beyond of Pain

    I posted a day or two ago..in the same forum (hopefully) I truly don't know if people read the stories and/or there's a forum for Passive Aggressive behavior here.. Okay...I admited before and I admited now: I did a lot of awful things concerning relationships (friends, family...
    dolor dolor 41-45, M 2 Responses Sep 18, 2009

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    Becoming A Better Person

    I've always been aware that I had a few issues around assertiveness. In fact it's so obvious that even when I was 13, other kids at school would tell me that I had to be more assertive (weird, looking back). I've recently been reading up on assertiveness and trying to put it into...
    wynterw wynterw 36-40 6 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    How I Found Out That I Have Pa Disorder

     I have been in therapy for over a year now, and I am in a long-term relationship.  I noticed that I exhibited some passive-aggressive behaviors, so I read up on it.  This is when I found that while some people are passive-aggressive from time to time that there is...
    ragingirl ragingirl 31-35, F Oct 8, 2009

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    My Husband Says I Am Passive Aggressive

     My husband says I am passive aggressive and he doesn’t love me anymore.  He says he cares but there is no love left in him for me.  He says I have mentally abused him and that I am PA and I can’t change and it is too late with him no matter what happens.  I have taken...
    bookgirl50 bookgirl50 51-55 3 Responses Jun 19, 2011

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    What Is A Passive Aggressive?

    I was reading up on passive aggression and came across this extract which described my mum to a tea, so am wondering if she could be a passive aggressive - "When they feel they are being attacked, passive aggressive people will fight tooth and nail to shift the blame to someone...
    shadow111 shadow111 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 13, 2010

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    Glad I Found Out. I Was Delusional And Confused.

    I am a passive-aggressive young adult male. After researching passive-aggressive behavior, I see it in retrospect. And I don't want to go through it again. I vent too much when something is deeply troubling me, but I can only do it in writing. I do not verbally express feelings...
    anotherthing anotherthing 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 13, 2011

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    I don't know why but I'm

    so passive aggressive. I keep my feelings bottled up inside and then one day I'll just explode. I don't know what to do about it and it's stressing me out a lot. Someone help?:/
    ihatemytown ihatemytown 13-15, F Sep 4

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    Soul Mates

    I met my husband just a few months after I turned eighteen. He was 323 at the time. We were set up by someone I went to church with. I was really frustrated with the guy I was dating at the time, because he did not want to commit to me, so I wrote the friend a message in...
    Shaylee Shaylee 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 19, 2009

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    Don't Tell Anyone, I'm Quietly Angry...

    I am definitely PA: I cheated on my ex rather than tell her I was unhappy I changed my name to annoy my family, but didn't tell them... I will sulk or seethe rather than say what is on my mind I will agree to anything and then quietly not do it, sabotage it  or just...
    quietlyangry quietlyangry 36-40 2 Responses Jul 8, 2009

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    I Am Passive Aggressive

           (Me) This explains EVERYTHING: The book Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive-aggressive behavior. [5] Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in...
    SomaticEnergy SomaticEnergy 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2009

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    Finally!

    I'm so happy I've found this forum, and people like me. I've been having these negative thoughts, and wondering to myself why I don't do anything about it and feel the need to withdraw myself from the situation while rationalizing it. I'll give you an example: I'm 18 years old...
    ClosedBook ClosedBook 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 10, 2009

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    I Guess the Hard Lessons Take the Longest...

    I have been married for 17 years and apparently slowly torturing my wife for all of them. For years now during an argument she would say "Thats just more of your passive-aggressive bulls#*&!" and I normally blocked it out.  Lately life events ( losing my job...
    20yearsistoolong 20yearsistoolong 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 20, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    My first post about my passive aggressive mother, an explanation: EP Link I've been doing some research on passive aggressiveness and found that it's an actual personality...
    Cupcakes95 Cupcakes95 36-40, F Aug 28

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    tips? If he divorces the same way he married...good god, Im in for a bad year! He is so passive aggressive that I actually fear this separation/divorce. He obstructs anything that...
    LoveMyLifeWithThem LoveMyLifeWithThem 36-40, F Sep 1

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    So , I moved upstairs over the past week. We no longer share a room besides a few things that I can't move up here. He was away for a couple of days, but now that he's home he's a...
    LoveMyLifeWithThem LoveMyLifeWithThem 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    He cancels my gym membership when he feels I have not gone enough. Without telling me.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 36-40, F 2 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    My girlfriend recently had a bad experience with a passive aggressive bully at school. She was in the library during a free period, studying, when she left to see the year level...
    SirHarold98 SirHarold98 22-25, M Sep 9

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    I have never given much thought about my sign but ever since I went on a date with a friend of mine in February and she mentioned it I have been interested in finding more about it...
    Culinaryman23 Culinaryman23 22-25, M 4 Responses Aug 22

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    Redefining a 'Broken Home' I've read quite a number of posts on how separation and divorce would break apart the family, would mean that the children would come from a broken home...
    LaoTzu LaoTzu 41-45, M 15 Responses Aug 17

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    After reading all the posts I was extremely relieved that I wasn't alone. It did however make me face the mirror of fear staring back at me to motivate me to stay on this path...
    earleone93 earleone93 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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