I Am Passive-aggressive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 347 People

    What Is A Passive Aggressive?

    I was reading up on passive aggression and came across this extract which described my mum to a tea, so am wondering if she could be a passive aggressive - "When they feel they are being attacked, passive aggressive people will fight tooth and nail to shift the blame to someone...
    shadow111 shadow111
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Feb 13, 2010

    Don't Tell Anyone, I'm Quietly Angry...

    I am definitely PA: I cheated on my ex rather than tell her I was unhappy I changed my name to annoy my family, but didn't tell them... I will sulk or seethe rather than say what is on my mind I will agree to anything and then quietly not do it, sabotage it  or just...
    quietlyangry quietlyangry
    2 Responses Jul 8, 2009

    How I Can Defeat Being Passive Aggressive!

    My marriage is going to the dump because I can not express myself to my wife. This cycle has been going on for just more than 9 years. Now we have come to a point in our relationship and family to decide if we move forward and heal or end it.  I have known my wife for...
    rborsky rborsky
    36-40, M
    3 Responses May 17, 2010

    I wish I could change this trait be more

    assertive . I can be extremely pissed and not show it .....but still make a point cuz that's what your trying to do just not aggressively :/ I'm a mess at times
    Briinx Briinx
    31-35, F
    Apr 21, 2014

    When people **** me off I just honestly can't

    deal with them for some time, I have to completely ignore them and be very formal with them, meaning that, avoid talking, other wise, if we are gonna talk, I am gonna scream in their face. They call that passive aggressive, I call it complete honesty, I can't smile in your face...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    26-30, F
    Oct 21, 2015

    The Evil ***---- Finally Did It. I'm Done.

    In the ten years that i've known him with all the on and off back and forth between us. I always tried to understand him and forgive him. I would be so angry and stuperfied by his inconsiderate behavior. Not answering his phone, not returning calls, disappearing and reappearing...
    coco428 coco428
    5 Responses Feb 27, 2011

    Becoming A Better Person

    I've always been aware that I had a few issues around assertiveness. In fact it's so obvious that even when I was 13, other kids at school would tell me that I had to be more assertive (weird, looking back). I've recently been reading up on assertiveness and trying to put it into...
    wynterw wynterw
    6 Responses Apr 1, 2012

    It’s very difficult to tell,

    whether you’ve made an enemy out of a passive aggressive person. They will probably deflect any attempt from you to read their emotional state. It could be that they don’t care or aren’t bothered, but there’s also the possibility that you’ve hurt them deeply and that...
    TheGreatLeveler TheGreatLeveler
    26-30, M
    Jul 14, 2014

    Moving Towards A Healthier Happier Life

    So, after years of emotional turbulence, creating a plethora of long lasting relationship and family problems, seeking help from professionals to stave off further distress and growing isolation, misdiagnoses and inappropte medications, such as antidepressants and antipsychotics...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Feb 11, 2012

    Well Ok, I Am, But That's Not The Whole Story

    The moment of realization, of finally apprehending a long standing problem which has blighted your enjoyment of life and devalued everything and everyone of importance to you, can be traumatic, it can be like being woken in the wee wee hours, only to find that there really has...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff
    41-45, M
    1 Response Feb 12, 2012

    I would like to know what is the root to this

    disorder? Fear and insecurity? How can you say you love someone and yet that very same person is perceived as the enemy? Why do you stay with someone that you believe is out to get you? Why keep them dangling with tiny threads of hope when you see them as a monster? Baffling!!!
    MrsMiss MrsMiss
    56-60, F
    Jan 13, 2014

    Looking for insight from a PA viewpoint

    Ok, first, I am not passive aggressive. But I am still reeling from a relationship with a man who is and won't talk to me and I have so many questions and thought I could get some perspective from all of you who are and this is the largest group of you that I know of who might be...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Apr 8, 2013

    I Am Passive Aggressive and Now Is Beyond of Pain

    I posted a day or two ago..in the same forum (hopefully) I truly don't know if people read the stories and/or there's a forum for Passive Aggressive behavior here.. Okay...I admited before and I admited now: I did a lot of awful things concerning relationships (friends, family...
    dolor dolor
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Sep 18, 2009

    I Hate Slow Drivers

    I just hate it, when i.m driving and people go waaaay toooooo slooooow!!!
    nokaoi nokaoi
    36-40, M
    Mar 3, 2013

    I have come to terms with it.

    Yes, I'm passive-aggressive. How do I deal with my behavior? A part of me doesn't want to change the way I am, a part of me knows it's toxic. My actions have affected my relationships, my career, my entire life. Friendships have been neglected, work ethics have been forgotten...
    metaphornographic metaphornographic
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 1, 2014

    My Story and Why Am Here

    , well, its not really me, but my wife. I hope I will be welcomed here as I need help from others who understand PA so I can better cope. My wife of 21 years is a very passive, quiet person, but a couple of years ago family issues from her past came back and there is no budging...
    3 Responses Jan 10, 2008

    I Am One

    I think I am one... and I don't know even know what exactly it means.Teehee. :D
    mareliberum mareliberum
    Dec 8, 2012


    Today I have finally admitted I am a passive-aggressive person.  Now comes the hard part.  I would love any adivce from anyone who can help.  I am feeling a little lost right now.Thank you.
    nicbrit70 nicbrit70
    4 Responses Aug 2, 2011

    Looking to Change My Ways

      Characterised by resentment and a feeling of entitlement? Just a thought...   I think for me, the fundamental problem caused by this kind of behaviour is an inability to be myself in any social situation.  I often describe it as a fear of being in the moment...
    CultOfByron CultOfByron
    31-35, M
    Aug 5, 2009

    It's Official:

    As of today, I am consciously passive-aggressive with my spouse. It took 21 years to get to this point, 21 years of approaching things directly, while calm.  21 years of having him conveniently forget almost anything of substance.  21 years of having him take absolutely no...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout
    5 Responses Nov 27, 2013


    I am for the most part extremely passive towards most people but if anyone says or does anything to insult me or one of my friends, that's when I get mean. Sometimes they're just too dumb to understand and think nothing of me. Sure....call me sub-human why don't ya..it's...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

    Today I actually admitted to myself

    that I have a problem with being passive-aggressive. After doing A LOT of reading and researching, it makes sense for me. I fit the signs to a T. Now comes the hard part: Getting help and growing past it. Any help/advice/thoughts/anything would be appreciated, because I'm more...
    eawilli eawilli
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 16, 2014

    I Guess the Hard Lessons Take the Longest...

    I have been married for 17 years and apparently slowly torturing my wife for all of them. For years now during an argument she would say "Thats just more of your passive-aggressive bulls#*&!" and I normally blocked it out.  Lately life events ( losing my job...
    20yearsistoolong 20yearsistoolong
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Jul 20, 2008

    42 And Only Just Realizing Scope And Depth Of Pa

    Hi, fellow PA sufferers. 8 months ago my PA finally destroyed my relationship with my long suffering partner, and I found myself homeless, jobless, alone, and facing a dead end at the age of 41. Now I am struggling to find a way to address this condition, before I loseany more...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff
    41-45, M
    Feb 10, 2012


    I'm so happy I've found this forum, and people like me. I've been having these negative thoughts, and wondering to myself why I don't do anything about it and feel the need to withdraw myself from the situation while rationalizing it. I'll give you an example: I'm 18 years old...
    ClosedBook ClosedBook
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 10, 2009

    I Need Advice Please!

    Well I've been having problems in my relationship. We have been together for about four years but recently had a breakup about catching him talking to another girl. When he explained himself he said that he told her i love you but didnt mean it, that he only really loves me. We...
    AsderG AsderG
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 19, 2011

    I Am Done!!!!!

    I have been with my husband for 19 years and his passive-aggressive behavior seemed to start after my death of my son!  His stepson whom he didn't spend the time to get to know, my son was in and out of our life. I had complicated grief and when I...
    itiswhatitis61 itiswhatitis61
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Dec 24, 2009

    I was talking to this girl being real nice like

    I'm supposed to but while she was talking I got the uncontrollable itch to walk away . like what the frack ?! I'm not a mean person I have hidden mean tendencies.
    babbysitting babbysitting
    18-21, F
    Mar 29, 2015

    Can someone explain why someone

    who is passive aggressive will constantly ask personal questions and then walk away without saying anything after you respond? I find it extremely rude, why ask in the first place? My roommate does this and every time it always leaves me a little dumbfounded. Thanks ☺️
    HopefulLovelyLioness HopefulLovelyLioness
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 18, 2014


    Hi PA people, For years, I frequently suffered from bouts of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. On occasion, stress related illnesses flared up and seriously debilitated me. I seemed to be at the mercy of my emotions, and this severely challenged my ability to lead a...
    IrishJeff IrishJeff
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2012

    My Bloody Idiots As Frinds

    Ok it takes a lot of power to ratel my chane but my friends know exactly how to do it and thay do it as much as thay can I have three things that get me mean 1st is getting quots wrong 2ed if thay fight me with religion and 3rd when thay say just so stupid stuff I just can't stad...
    sbocaj5 sbocaj5
    26-30, M
    Oct 20, 2013

    I Learned It From My Mom

    my mom always is passive-aggressive. my whole life, she's used guilt tactics and subtle anger to make me do what she wants. as a result, i'm the type of girl that'll pretend to be ok but who will insert sly, snarky comments to let you know i'm actually mad. i use guilt a lot...
    possibly possibly
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 25, 2008

    I have just come to the conclusion

    that I am PA. For the most part I am ruining my own life. Even though they say never diagnose yourself almost everything that I have read about PA fits me. I have come here because I just feel that confession is the best first step. Over the last ten years or so, I have been...
    ootfgmoney ootfgmoney
    1 Response Feb 14, 2014

    Realisation Of Passive Aggressiveness

    Hi I have for many years battled with my emotions. My mother died when I was 14 and my father was not very good at being a father. My father had affairs and this caused lots of arguments at home which I as a small child found hard to deal with and so tended to shut myself away...
    welsh79 welsh79
    31-35, M
    4 Responses Aug 15, 2012

    Glad I Found Out. I Was Delusional And Confused.

    I am a passive-aggressive young adult male. After researching passive-aggressive behavior, I see it in retrospect. And I don't want to go through it again. I vent too much when something is deeply troubling me, but I can only do it in writing. I do not verbally express feelings...
    anotherthing anotherthing
    26-30, M
    1 Response Dec 13, 2011

    Soul Mates

    I met my husband just a few months after I turned eighteen. He was 323 at the time. We were set up by someone I went to church with. I was really frustrated with the guy I was dating at the time, because he did not want to commit to me, so I wrote the friend a message in...
    Shaylee Shaylee
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2009

    up until a few months ago,

    i had never heard of passive aggressive personality disorder. after reading up about it im conviced thats what i have had for many many years. a string of failed relationships ( not always my fault ) im often selfish with other ppl including my partner, sulk if i dont get my own...
    blackpuss blackpuss
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Apr 26, 2014

    How I Found Out That I Have Pa Disorder

     I have been in therapy for over a year now, and I am in a long-term relationship.  I noticed that I exhibited some passive-aggressive behaviors, so I read up on it.  This is when I found that while some people are passive-aggressive from time to time that there is...
    ragingirl ragingirl
    31-35, F
    Oct 8, 2009

    Whenever I get super angry at my moms boyfriend,

    I just spit on everything he loves. It's great because he has no idea he's bathing in, eating, and cherishing my backwash. He's a piece of ****. But I guess reacting like that means I am too. Whatever.
    thisonechick thisonechick
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 7, 2014

    Oh The Irony Of Discussing This On An Anonymous Website

    I want everyone to like me even when I don't like the other people. Actually it's when others blatantly dislike me that I stick around to change their minds. I have an enormous family, so all information is passed via gossip. I can tell my mother something super personal and my...
    samanthajeanrobertson samanthajeanrobertson
    Aug 24, 2011
    endlessl0ve endlessl0ve
    26-30, F
    Jul 29, 2015

    I Am Passive Aggressive

           (Me) This explains EVERYTHING: The book Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive-aggressive behavior. [5] Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in...
    SomaticEnergy SomaticEnergy
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 19, 2009

    My mom is a very passive aggressiv person

    who makes my and my dads live just miserable. She uses guilt a lot. I moved further and further away from her to have a normal and happy live, but now I came to realize, that i am just as bad as her. It took me a long time to see why all my relationships went down hill. And if I...
    LiniBeeny LiniBeeny
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 22, 2014

    I looked up passive aggression on Wikipedia the

    other day, it's amazing what a thin line there is between being passive aggressive and incompetent. One you're not doing the job correctly and the other you're being an *******. I've done both before. Usually not getting it done right the first time, becoming good at it and...
    deleted deleted
    Dec 3, 2013
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