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I Am Pushing Away the People That Love Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 97 People

    To be honest I've been lied to,

    hurt, and broken by the people I've loved the most. I've chased my drunk father down miles of dirt road when I was 10 because I had nowhere else to go, had my drunk mother explain to me why I was a waste of a human at 14 and had to keep a knife under my pillow to keep away her...
    CallmeJerr CallmeJerr 22-25, F Jun 25

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    It's not like my intention,

    it's more of an instinct. I guess I'm just afraid of getting hurt.
    XxbixtchybellaxX XxbixtchybellaxX 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    I Am the Queen of This ....

    My therapist is once again RIGHT .... When i get in a relationship or what should be a relationship and really isnt   i will give so much of myself .... then when i reach a certain point .... i cut them off and i wont let them in any further ..... and then i start to...
    starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    With Every Bridge I Burn...

    I learn more and more reasons I need to stop adding bricks to the wall and start smashing holes in it. I realize I hurt so badly in the loss of the people I push away, that I have no reason to push them away out of fear in the first place.     I had a really bad...
    KarmaFred KarmaFred 19-21, F 4 Responses May 9, 2007

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    My Girlfriend...

    I really try to grab for the love that is deep inside me. My girlfriend does everything she could do to help me. She loves me. And she tells me this all the time. And still I don't do much other things than argue with her and let her know that I love other people as...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F May 6, 2007

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    Someone who could potentially be my boyfriend,

    gave up on me finally after 4 years, all because i pushed them away everytime he asks for my number, wanted all things about me, now that i just realized his love, it's too late
    LilyGlass LilyGlass 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    They Love Me... But...

    Do I love them?The concept of loving and being loved by another person is alien to me. I understand the "sentiment", so to speak, but the sensation itself is ever fleeting.I can think of two people I genuinely love. One is deceased. The love I feel for the other, living person is...
    lysergic lysergic 18-21, F 2 Responses May 6, 2013

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    I ruined a relationship

    because I couldn't stop pushing and he wouldn't stop pushing back wanting me to let him in. Thank goodness we are still really good friends. I need to stop pushing others away, I'm not even sure why I do it. I have no reason to and if I could think of one it wouldn't be good...
    udamansteel udamansteel 16-17, F Apr 28

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    I'm Angry, And I Don't Know Why.

    I'm suffering from a panic attack, which I believe may have turned into panic disorder because I still feel it sometimes. I have been to the doctor, and I even go back this week... I don't know how to explain to a doctor the way I feel, because I cannot describe it. I'm anxious...
    screambefree screambefree 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 10, 2011

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    Better Off

    I know they love me. I know my husband loves me. I know my children and my momma love me. I can't let them. I don't deserve their love. I want them to hate me. They would be better off without me!
    angelwings1998 angelwings1998 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 25, 2011

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    At Arm's Length

    I am 25 years old and my life has passed me by. . . .   Growing up I knew more than I should of for my age.  My father molested my sister, was placed on house arrest and lived with us our entire lives.  He never acknowledge me or my sister unless he wanted...
    Rachael47 Rachael47 21-25 1 Response Feb 17, 2008

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    Dear Family, I'm Sorry.

    Before I say anything...I have an extremely supportive family. They have done so much for me and allowed me to (for the most part) do what I needed to do to become a successful adult. I was never hurt, abused, growing up..I've always had everything if not more than I needed while...
    lovexmetal lovexmetal 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    Help =/

    I dont know if I believe in love, Im with a guy who loves me deeply and I cant love him back but I thought to myself he loves me so much and hes such a wonderful guy that I could learn to love him. We have been dating 4 months and we were each others first. Hes two years older...
    AbneyT AbneyT 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2011

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    juliana48 juliana48 13-15, F Jun 25

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    Related Experiences

    All over facebook I see girls who get in a relationship which lasts a week and then move onto someone else as if that person was only to be used so that they would only be replaced...
    chickensoup17 chickensoup17 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 21

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    BARRY MANILOW "Mandy" I remember all my life Raining down as cold as ice. Shadows of a man, A face through a window cryin' in the night, The night goes into Morning just another...
    sherrianna sherrianna 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Joy Division – Atmosphere Walk in silence, Don't walk away, in silence. See the danger, Always danger, Endless talking, Life rebuilding, Don't walk away. Walk in silence, Don't...
    Chernobylplayground Chernobylplayground 36-40, F Jul 20

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    It has been a while since i wrote about what i do in this life. You see as i love all people around me at ep or around the world. they don't love me and i am not like need to have...
    Egyptianguy34 Egyptianguy34 31-35, M 1 day ago

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    "Here Without You"  A hundred days have made me olderSince the last time that I saw your pretty faceA thousand lies have made me colderAnd I don't think I can look at this...
    anhourglass anhourglass 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    One day I recieved a letter from grandma... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly...
    jaynick15 jaynick15 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 18

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    Loving a soldier is a high price to pay, loving him truly is hard when he's away. It's being alone with nothing to hold; lt's being young, but feeling old; it's having him whisper...
    EyeDontGiveAHoot EyeDontGiveAHoot 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Heartland - I Loved Her First Lyrics Look at the two of you dancing that way Lost in the moment and each others face So much in love your alone in this place Like there's...
    sherrianna sherrianna 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    Look at the two of you dancing that way Lost in the moment and each others face So much in love your alone in this place Like there's nobody else in the world I was enough for her...
    EllaAfter EllaAfter 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    6 months later and I still have the same feelings I had when we first went out. I know I hurt her, and I haven't quite forgiven myself yet. She brought meaning to my life. Now that...
    druggydavis druggydavis 18-21, F Jul 2

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    I was his child, his lineage,his dreams and hopes.Every day I look at myself I see him.Thats why my sister hates me.She destroyed everything good. When she was sick and didn't do...
    CharmH CharmH 41-45, F Jul 23

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    I know Love is risky. You have so much to lose, but with the right person you can be really happy. I did not knew Love was this difficult. I never figured out myself and my...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F a week ago

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    I am learning how to love. There are a few people in my life that I really, REALLY don't get along with. They have crossed some lines and really ticked me off, and all their...
    Anticloud Anticloud 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 5

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    Walk away, if love is meant to be it will come back. Fear of the unknown is what holds too many in a place where there is no real happiness and love. Move on, because God has...
    lovingRIZA lovingRIZA 51-55, F Jul 16

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    For 8 years of my life I had this thing where if I knew 1 person hated me I would freak out and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night I would have little mental break downs but as I...
    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    Ok so most people love their family. But I am truly, fascinated and drawn to my step brother. He is one year older than me and I have know him for over twenty years. We will be...
    lilkitten87 lilkitten87 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    I don't get why some people love quotes or try to model their lives around the words of other people. It just seems to me that once we try to quote others those words are...
    articwolf00 articwolf00 22-25, M Jul 23

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    I don't understand haters , They hate for no reason and they usually don't even know the person they are being hateful towards but yet they still do it. Why I have no idea #Love...
    Life8227 Life8227 16-17, F a week ago

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    I don't know why but I just can't. I can tell when people love me but I can't love them back, I just don't feel it no matter how hard I try. It's like I'm disconnected from...
    WinterSkyout WinterSkyout 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 6

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    The most sweetest thing is that when two people love each other but do not communicate instead they Pray for each other in their SUJUD >3
    PerinduSyahid PerinduSyahid 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    Summer of 06 and 07 I was in Nantucket! It's really nice place specially in summer, and I have no idea during winter. Night time in Nantucket is it feels winter season in Florida...
    Bluejec19 Bluejec19 41-45, F Jul 24

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    I really, really do. Me and my girlfriend of 8 months have decided that we are going to visit all 50 states before we are done with college. we have 47 left, we're chugging along...
    babygirl225 babygirl225 18-21, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    I push people away so I don't get attached and if I don't get attached then when they screw me over I won't get hurt
    simmy6789 simmy6789 18-21, F 15 hrs ago

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    "Pushing Through" -Mudvayne
    reelman4372 reelman4372 31-35, M 12 hrs ago

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    We met through Facebook. During my sophomore year in high school, I had a male classmate, K, and he was the class weirdo. He was a pervert and he was never afraid to show it. The...
    Celal Celal 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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    A bit like a boat I'm pushing ahead against the sea I'm sailing over the waves A bit like a boat I'm pushing ahead and I'm proud of what I'm carrying on my back A bit like a boat...
    opentalk opentalk 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    Love is a very strong word. So if I tell Yu "I love you" I actually mean it. Love isn't a word that you can just throw away but often many people do
    Moneshaa Moneshaa 13-15, F 17 hrs ago

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    This is to her parents... I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I just want to take a little bit of your family time, to tell you about myself. You may know me...
    NishantJ NishantJ 22-25, M 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Hi guys! Ok, so long story short.. Its been a while since I've realised I was emotionally unavailable coz of my past, found someone who made me realise the emotional waves of...
    Trainedheart Trainedheart 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    I thought that things like this get better with time but I still need you, why is that? You're the only image in my mind so I still see you... around I miss you like everyday...
    RiceBunny55 RiceBunny55 31-35, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    It started when I was younger and all of my friends were just discovering relationships.. I always told them how pointless it was. I would say, "I'm fine alone. I'm going to wait...
    amberooo amberooo 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Now I tend to find being alone all the time isn't as fun loving as some folks see it. Now the other night I was sat down at the pub bar, drinking vodka & coke. Now I ain't a beer...
    ilikenetflix ilikenetflix 26-30, M 10 hrs ago

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    On Raglan Road... Poem by Patrick Kavanagh... Sung by Luke Kelly http://youtu.be/EuafmLvoJow On Raglan Road of an autumn day I saw her first and knew That her dark hair would...
    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M 1 hr ago

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    I want things like everyone else but I find that I don't ask for them. I find most interactions between me and anyone else to be stagnant or uneventful. I really don't think I have...
    STSFK STSFK 18-21, M Jul 20

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