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I Am Recovering From Childhood Sexual Abuse

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 196 People

    I Just Didn'know

    It started when i was 10. A friend of my dads. He acted like he wanted to be my big brother. It started as just touching and petting. He had intercourse with me when I was 12. It went on for years till his wife caught us. My dad confronted me I convinced him it wasn't true. So it...
    arei27 arei27 26-30 3 Responses Nov 20, 2010

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    I really need someone to talk to.

    I've been okay for a few weeks now but I'm having a really rough day today. Please, if you're a woman (it was a guy who did it and I just can't talk to a guy about it, I'm sorry.. I just can't) please, I need someone to talk to.
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    When I was 11 years old my dad went to prison

    and I went to live with my grandfather, one night I was lying in his bed and out of no where he grabbed my wrist and made me touch his penis.. I said "I don't like it" and he responded with "that's why I done it" .. It only happened 3 years ago and I finally told my dad this...
    Alicolette Alicolette 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I have just watched this film,

    Silent House and it really triggered a lot of bad memories.Like a lot of them for all of that dont know i have been abused as a child by my grandfather and it was awful it went on for a few years and i just got really upset.I wouldn't of watch it if i knew what it was about.I...
    SammyLautner SammyLautner 13-15, F Mar 23, 2014

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    Why Can't I Let Go?

    It's funny how all my happy memories of my childhood were kind of destroyed by one person I hardly knew. How can someone take away anothers joy?.. When I was about 7 years old, my uncle, on my dads side, a man I had never seen or met was in need of a place to live. My father was...
    ThatOneGirl7396 ThatOneGirl7396 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    How Much Was I Worth?

    Some writing from my blog www.diaryofabrokenchild.blogspot.com How much did they pay you daddy? How much was I worth? Was I a good girl, doing the things you had showed me since birth? You told me I was growing and said I was meant to learn the women's way So I laid on my...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    Trying To Tell My Mom About The Abuse.

    I thought today was the day I practiced saying what I was going to say in the shower but when I sat down next to her to spill the beans I felt like I was starting to panic. I became slightly uncomfortable, I started having chest pain, and now I have a migraine. She deserves to...
    TheEdgeOfEarth TheEdgeOfEarth 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2013

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    How Many Of Us Are Angry

    I am simply angry at the thought that I don't know why my grandfather would decide to touch me sexually and than have the never to tell me not to tell anyone. I am angry because the thoughts of what happened invade my mind at times when there's no one to talk to. I know there are...
    DJ95 DJ95 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 4, 2013

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    In Case I Didn't Get Enough the First Time....

      I had been abused by my father when I was 3, and after, a few cases of inc*est from my brother up to my mid 20's.  And I went thru a very promiscuous stage b4 going off s*ex altogether. Am in a happy relationship with a nice man, but I have not been able to face s*ex...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 5 Responses May 17, 2009

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    one less ********* in the world tonight.

    :) so naturally that puts me in to a very good mood.
    SystemK SystemK 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    You Need Me More Than I Need You....Except You'll Never Get Me Again....

      copyright@emmasharn    Abuse me, abuse me, try to confuse me. You must excuse me, for making you choose me, you didn’t think that you’d ever lose me. How can I have s*ex appeal as a child? I can’t imagine what drove you so wild. Before I was...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 1 Response May 16, 2009

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    Why Can't I Get Over It?

    i was raped when i was 9 by a much older teenager who lived next door. i have the worst memory and even now can't remember things that happened just a few months ago. i remember my dark high school period followed by college when my first sexual experience brought it all back...
    passel passel 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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    I Doubt I Will Ever Really Get Over It

    I have accepted I may never get over the abuse and the rape... it was compounded by abuse by the film group, catholics and dutch people and people in the radio, film and music industry.... those people are very twisted and egoistic ... they just go about abusing most young women...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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    EmmaBrun EmmaBrun 16-17, F 3 Responses May 7, 2014

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    Is anyone still coming to terms with a lot of

    what happened? It's like there are a lot of things that we don't talk about in the open and that even a therapist wouldn't understand. Somethings you just don't talk about or even mention, you know?
    EmmaBrun EmmaBrun 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 2, 2014

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    i was seven year old my uncle had sex with

    and get to bed with i told my mum when was 15 year old i hate him because of it he made out that my fault
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2013

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    My victim impact statement.

    I feel my life crumbling down into one big mess and I just can't dig myself out. This man was suppose to be my protector against all evils in the world, to be my role model in life, and most important he was Suppose to be family. But all he was is a devil in disguise , he was...
    chels18 chels18 18-21, F 5 Responses May 5, 2014

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    My Blog About Surviving

    Originally I started my blog just to have a diary to write in about my sexual abuse as a child. Recently a few others have found it and followed me and Its so nice to get the support. But after talking with friends who are also survivors they told me my writings really help them...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2012

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    How Do You Cope With The After Effects Of Abuse?

    I was abused (sexually and emotionally) by a guy I worked for from the age of 12 to 19, and during that time, at age 15, I got into a ten year relationship (which I ended recently) with a guy who I hoped would protect me and help me, but instead used the emotional damage I have...
    ConfusedGal25 ConfusedGal25 22-25 2 Responses Jun 15, 2011

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    My dad sexually abused

    and raped me since I was about 6 years old and the last one I can remember was when I was 11 wher he was trying to do somthing and I kicked him trying to get away and he got really angery and kicked me back grabbed my hair took me to his room and threw me on his bed and tore my...
    misaka12 misaka12 13-15, F 19 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    I Need to Remember It!

    I cannot remember fully.  I just get a vague sense of what happened to me at 3. My father recently admitted to abusing me. Instead of filling me in on details, he just asked what I could recall. I declined to answer, and said I didn't wanna talk about it. I didn't trust his...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 2 Responses May 13, 2009

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    I Am So Angry At The World!

    *warning for my language and maybe trigger?* How can these people just do these things! everytime I see another person has been abused as a kid.. I just want to go on a f****** killing spree. Why would anyone want to rape a 5 year old when they have someone their age right down...
    TangledLife TangledLife 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    Am I Lucky?

    "This is a story that I have never told. I have to get this off my chest to let it go." This is a line from a Demi Lovato song that I love. I have told my story before, but telling people face to face-people who you love and are supposed to love you-can produce different...
    thepurplelover thepurplelover 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2013

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    I Just Recently Remembered, And Only A Bit

    I only just remembered a few nights ago, and what I do remember isn't much, but here's what I know for sure. It was when I was 5-7 and I was living on base housing in England. The girl was around 11 or 12 and I remember going to her house fairly often. When I would visit her she...
    OrdinalChaos OrdinalChaos 18-21, M Oct 3, 2012

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    I'm getting sick of my past abuse controlling

    my sex life. I want to think about sex like a normal person. I want sex to be empowering. I don't want it to be psychologically damaging every time I have a ******* ******.
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2014

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    So You Think You Can F*uck With a Kid? You Lose, W*anker

      copyright@emmasharn    Children live on instinct, that is all they’ve got.  They haven’t trained in b*ullshit, like the adults with a lot.  You can never force a child to trust you if it can’t.  They don’t use your tactics...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 2 Responses May 16, 2009

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    I don't even remember it,

    and I'm not even sure if it happened. But all signs point to it and my doctors are suggesting it. I'm meeting with a friend today, as a hook up. I'm terrified, but I need to know if I'm just being stupid or if I really was molested as a child and these are the after-effects.
    SegaStar SegaStar 16-17, F Jan 11, 2014

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    Can You Ever Have A Normal Life

    From the time I was 7 until I was 16, my stepfather sexually and physically abused me. He didn't rape me, but there are other ways to mess a childs mind and self esteem up. I dont know if I can write about what he did to me here. I remember that he started messing with my...
    bitchkitty bitchkitty 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 27, 2012

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    I was abused for over 28 years in the carer

    system under social services and out of the social service system
    andrewash andrewash 46-50, M Jan 9, 2014

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    I smile I laugh I enjoy the company of those

    around me They enjoy my mask For a while I live in a fools paradise Surrounded by those who love me My family One side heaven The other hell Torn by death But for me Torn by the one person who is capable of disarming me in an instant As years go by his eyes remain the same Cold...
    srmc928 srmc928 16-17, F Dec 26, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    When I was 12 my step dad took advantage of me in a hot tub while my mother and sister were at dance. He started massaging me and eventually stuck his hand inside my shorts. I didn...
    kaymaries kaymaries 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51bv-C2%2BhqL.jpg here is a book my parents always read to me, I used to love it when they would repeat the character's name again and again...
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    To my father & abuser for 25 years: I am writing to inform you that I know exactly who and what you are. (A Malignant Narcissist, psychopath, antisocial, wife beater, child...
    wowodeals wowodeals 26-30, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Question: How did you gain the courage to tell someone what happened? ---- 2 years ago I tried to tell my biological mother what I went through as a kid and then a teen. I...
    LalapaloozaChick LalapaloozaChick 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I look back at my experience in high school and am so glad it lasted for only 4 years. I know a childhood creates (having a rough/ abused) and shapes you for the rest of your life...
    Vacationings Vacationings 36-40, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I don't understand why some people look away.I truly hated my neighbor for not intervening.My mother physically,emotional,and sexually abused my siblings and I.Finally we had...
    Duckygirl2 Duckygirl2 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was the victim of sexual child abuse. It was a friend of a relative. She was a middle aged drunk. Just the thought of her touching me makes me sick. I love being on EP but gay...
    equusrider equusrider 56-60, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was abused when I was a child. I'm 22 now and have a 1 year old and trying so hard to deal with my, I have had counselling on many occasions with different people and I still...
    JenniferSmith2658 JenniferSmith2658 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    In the past few years I have been shamed blamed and ridiculed for a decision to choose myself and my health over my own child. I had an abortion. Since then I have been diagnosed...
    MoonFlowerCloud MoonFlowerCloud 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    This is quite a mouthful, I'm sorry. I just need to write it out. When I was around 7, my family made the move from California to Washington State. Now, around 10 years later, I've...
    buffybellissimo buffybellissimo 16-17 6 days ago

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    I've always had a problem with my dad. I never felt like I was living up to my sister or being the kid he wanted. He pushed me to join sports but I had no interest in them. He made...
    emaseraptor emaseraptor 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I dealt with the same especially sexual orientation. It's hard for me to have sex sometimes with my boyfriend its soo sad because sometimes I cringe in utter pain because I re...
    ForYouIwillWaitJoey ForYouIwillWaitJoey 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Sexual abuse. I was sexually abused as a child and it's the biggest secret I have. I suppressed the memories because I was very young but I always had flashbacks. They came...
    Dezaria Dezaria 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    I feel like I still haven't completely confronted it. I've made a lot of progress from where I was I think, but I still haven't really confronted it. I repeat the story to myself...
    PinkMellow PinkMellow 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23

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