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I Am Recovering From Childhood Sexual Abuse

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 179 People

    Why Can't I Get Over It?

    i was raped when i was 9 by a much older teenager who lived next door. i have the worst memory and even now can't remember things that happened just a few months ago. i remember my dark high school period followed by college when my first sexual experience brought it all back...
    passel passel 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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    You Need Me More Than I Need You....Except You'll Never Get Me Again....

      copyright@emmasharn    Abuse me, abuse me, try to confuse me. You must excuse me, for making you choose me, you didn’t think that you’d ever lose me. How can I have s*ex appeal as a child? I can’t imagine what drove you so wild. Before I was...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 1 Response May 16, 2009

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    How Many Of Us Are Angry

    I am simply angry at the thought that I don't know why my grandfather would decide to touch me sexually and than have the never to tell me not to tell anyone. I am angry because the thoughts of what happened invade my mind at times when there's no one to talk to. I know there are...
    DJ95 DJ95 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 4, 2013

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    How Do You Cope With The After Effects Of Abuse?

    I was abused (sexually and emotionally) by a guy I worked for from the age of 12 to 19, and during that time, at age 15, I got into a ten year relationship (which I ended recently) with a guy who I hoped would protect me and help me, but instead used the emotional damage I have...
    ConfusedGal25 ConfusedGal25 22-25 2 Responses Jun 15, 2011

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    Am I Lucky?

    "This is a story that I have never told. I have to get this off my chest to let it go." This is a line from a Demi Lovato song that I love. I have told my story before, but telling people face to face-people who you love and are supposed to love you-can produce different...
    thepurplelover thepurplelover 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2013

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    In Case I Didn't Get Enough the First Time....

      I had been abused by my father when I was 3, and after, a few cases of inc*est from my brother up to my mid 20's.  And I went thru a very promiscuous stage b4 going off s*ex altogether. Am in a happy relationship with a nice man, but I have not been able to face s*ex...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 5 Responses May 17, 2009

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    Why Can't I Let Go?

    It's funny how all my happy memories of my childhood were kind of destroyed by one person I hardly knew. How can someone take away anothers joy?.. When I was about 7 years old, my uncle, on my dads side, a man I had never seen or met was in need of a place to live. My father was...
    ThatOneGirl7396 ThatOneGirl7396 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    My victim impact statement.

    I feel my life crumbling down into one big mess and I just can't dig myself out. This man was suppose to be my protector against all evils in the world, to be my role model in life, and most important he was Suppose to be family. But all he was is a devil in disguise , he was...
    chels18 chels18 18-21, F 4 Responses May 5

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    Is anyone still coming to terms with a lot of

    what happened? It's like there are a lot of things that we don't talk about in the open and that even a therapist wouldn't understand. Somethings you just don't talk about or even mention, you know?
    EmmaBrun EmmaBrun 13-15, F 8 Responses Jan 2

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    I was abused for over 28 years in the carer

    system under social services and out of the social service system
    andrewash andrewash 46-50, M Jan 9

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    I have just watched this film,

    Silent House and it really triggered a lot of bad memories.Like a lot of them for all of that dont know i have been abused as a child by my grandfather and it was awful it went on for a few years and i just got really upset.I wouldn't of watch it if i knew what it was about.I...
    SammyLautner SammyLautner 13-15, F Mar 23

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    Trying To Tell My Mom About The Abuse.

    I thought today was the day I practiced saying what I was going to say in the shower but when I sat down next to her to spill the beans I felt like I was starting to panic. I became slightly uncomfortable, I started having chest pain, and now I have a migraine. She deserves to...
    TheEdgeOfEarth TheEdgeOfEarth 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 21, 2013

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    So You Think You Can F*uck With a Kid? You Lose, W*anker

      copyright@emmasharn    Children live on instinct, that is all they’ve got.  They haven’t trained in b*ullshit, like the adults with a lot.  You can never force a child to trust you if it can’t.  They don’t use your tactics...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 2 Responses May 16, 2009

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    I Am So Angry At The World!

    *warning for my language and maybe trigger?* How can these people just do these things! everytime I see another person has been abused as a kid.. I just want to go on a f****** killing spree. Why would anyone want to rape a 5 year old when they have someone their age right down...
    TangledLife TangledLife 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2013

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    i was seven year old my uncle had sex with

    and get to bed with i told my mum when was 15 year old i hate him because of it he made out that my fault
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2013

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    EmmaBrun EmmaBrun 13-15, F 3 Responses May 7

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    I Doubt I Will Ever Really Get Over It

    I have accepted I may never get over the abuse and the rape... it was compounded by abuse by the film group, catholics and dutch people and people in the radio, film and music industry.... those people are very twisted and egoistic ... they just go about abusing most young women...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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    I Just Didn'know

    It started when i was 10. A friend of my dads. He acted like he wanted to be my big brother. It started as just touching and petting. He had intercourse with me when I was 12. It went on for years till his wife caught us. My dad confronted me I convinced him it wasn't true. So it...
    arei27 arei27 26-30 3 Responses Nov 20, 2010

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    I Need to Remember It!

    I cannot remember fully.  I just get a vague sense of what happened to me at 3. My father recently admitted to abusing me. Instead of filling me in on details, he just asked what I could recall. I declined to answer, and said I didn't wanna talk about it. I didn't trust his...
    emmasharn emmasharn 31-35, F 2 Responses May 13, 2009

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    My Blog About Surviving

    Originally I started my blog just to have a diary to write in about my sexual abuse as a child. Recently a few others have found it and followed me and Its so nice to get the support. But after talking with friends who are also survivors they told me my writings really help them...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2012

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    I Just Recently Remembered, And Only A Bit

    I only just remembered a few nights ago, and what I do remember isn't much, but here's what I know for sure. It was when I was 5-7 and I was living on base housing in England. The girl was around 11 or 12 and I remember going to her house fairly often. When I would visit her she...
    OrdinalChaos OrdinalChaos 18-21, M Oct 3, 2012

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    When I was 11 years old my dad went to prison

    and I went to live with my grandfather, one night I was lying in his bed and out of no where he grabbed my wrist and made me touch his penis.. I said "I don't like it" and he responded with "that's why I done it" .. It only happened 3 years ago and I finally told my dad this...
    Alicolette Alicolette 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    I don't even remember it,

    and I'm not even sure if it happened. But all signs point to it and my doctors are suggesting it. I'm meeting with a friend today, as a hook up. I'm terrified, but I need to know if I'm just being stupid or if I really was molested as a child and these are the after-effects.
    SegaStar SegaStar 16-17, F Jan 11

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    My dad sexually abused

    and raped me since I was about 6 years old and the last one I can remember was when I was 11 wher he was trying to do somthing and I kicked him trying to get away and he got really angery and kicked me back grabbed my hair took me to his room and threw me on his bed and tore my...
    misaka12 misaka12 13-15, F 25 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Can You Ever Have A Normal Life

    From the time I was 7 until I was 16, my stepfather sexually and physically abused me. He didn't rape me, but there are other ways to mess a childs mind and self esteem up. I dont know if I can write about what he did to me here. I remember that he started messing with my...
    bitchkitty bitchkitty 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 27, 2012

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    How Much Was I Worth?

    Some writing from my blog www.diaryofabrokenchild.blogspot.com How much did they pay you daddy? How much was I worth? Was I a good girl, doing the things you had showed me since birth? You told me I was growing and said I was meant to learn the women's way So I laid on my...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    You know my name, but not my story. I am strong, yet also weak. I am independent, yet also dependent. I am optimist, yet pessimist. I am many different things, which make me who I...
    SimplySecure SimplySecure 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    You know my name, but not my story. I am strong, yet also weak. I am independent, yet also dependent. I am optimist, yet pessimist. I am many different things, which make me who I...
    SimplySecure SimplySecure 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    As a child I was sexually abused by my father it went on for year I was eight when it first happened nine when I ended it first I really didn't know what was going on he would call...
    Somechick47 Somechick47 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 23

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    I had allowed myself to believe it was just two kids (my brother is two years older than I am) experimenting, but now I'm coming to realize that what I thought was normal was...
    coffeeIover coffeeIover 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    When I was around 10 my brother sexually abused me. I didn't know what he was doing and it scared and confused me but I went along with it because I trusted him. I don't hold...
    ItalicHail ItalicHail 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 23

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    I was sexually abused by my biological mother when I was 5 years old. She also took me to her "close friends", and her friends raped me. They were also abusive in other ways. I...
    Saram13 Saram13 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    The woman who gave me life was a pedo magnet One boyfriend after another, a parade of deviant malcontents With their eyes trained on the little one and not on her When the heavy...
    khewster khewster 31-35, F Oct 9

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    i was molested from age six until age thirteen, when i left for boarding school. It was my father that started it - i think probably because my mother was very cold toward him, so...
    solemnlittlegirl solemnlittlegirl 13-15, F 5 Responses Oct 8

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    When I was about 5 my cousin would abuse me. I was small at the time so I didn't know what was happening, he would say it was a game of thief and cop and I was the thief. He would...
    lunaClipse lunaClipse 18-21, F Oct 2

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    I was abused repeatedly by 2 brothers who lived next door to me
    billyjoe66 billyjoe66 16-17, M Oct 7

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    The worst part isn't the panic attacks, the PTSD, or the insomnia. The worst part isn't my complete lack of sexual desire or my fear of intimacy. The worst part isn't knowing that...
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 5

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    Haven't written about it in a while, so I guess I should again. To this day no one knows who took away my innocents except for him and some of my family. One person outside of my...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 9

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    I hate how my past holds me back from things I want to do :/ it's haunting and terrifying
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I'm trying to talk about it now and it's like pulling teeth. Body parts are "there" and events are "when, thing, you know". I physically have a lot of trouble just saying it. I...
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M Sep 22

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    There is a reflection of pain in her eyes, as she fights back tears. Trying to figure out why she has put up with it all of these years. Innocence gone. Just taken away. Struggling...
    Cpaz33 Cpaz33 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 24

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    I need to talk. I can't stop thinking about it. I've tried talking to people here but only a couple have responded. I'm not comfortable talking to guys, I know it's stupid seeing...
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    I lay in my bed this morning thinking about it all. Every last little detail of what happened. Then I realized I was thinking about it.. and I started to think about why I was...
    bubblefishkiss bubblefishkiss 26-30, F Sep 25

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    years... years of torture... years of whispering
    foreverandalwaysgoodbye foreverandalwaysgoodbye 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 25

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    I need to talk to someone who has been through this. I have to. Please understand I'm not comfortable talking to guys, it was a guy who did it and when I talk about it it's very...
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M Sep 29

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    I was 5 when my mom broke up with my and dad got a divorce and when I was 7 she moved on and started dating other people her boyfriend was very nice to me then he started acting...
    meredithcher meredithcher 16-17, F 8 Responses Oct 4

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    It's nearly 6:30 AM here and I can't sleep, I keep going back over it.
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 6

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    For most of my life, I've suffered with depression. In January, it was really, really bad. I wrote in my blog about what I thought could be causing it. When I was 7 years old, my...
    l3tsd0this l3tsd0this 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    So my story is insane.this guy drives me insane. I miss him. I hate myself for missing him . He had choked.me. he made me feel insignificant. He slapped me. Stalked me when I left...
    amtired amtired 22-25 Oct 7

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    I strangely am feeling a little more better after the immense sadness I have been going through these past two days. I pray for my buddy everyday, and keep looking at what's good...
    OppressedLuna OppressedLuna 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 7