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I Am Recovering From Self Mutilation

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 174 People

    Oh So Tempting

    Over time i've become severely depressed and anxious, as a result, i ended up pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes (and yes, it is a form of self mutilation because of the pain and feeling of releasing pressure sensations that come with doing such a thing),  not with tweesers...
    Mishy17 Mishy17 16-17, F Jun 2, 2011

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    Hurts So Good..

    The only thing holding me back is the promise I made to myself. It's been 6 months, we've got to see how long I can go. Can I just make it to a year? At least... It's so hard. Especially in moments like these, where I reach out for a helping hand, only to see my hand is the only...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom 18-21, F 5 Responses May 25, 2011

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    I was in a 4 year battle with myself.

    I self harmed as a way to release the pain and remind myself that I still have the ability to feel. Also because I hated myself and wanted to die constantly. I have struggled with severe anxiety since 7th grade and I'm now in 11th grade. I have nervous breakdowns pretty often...
    sydneyyumholtz sydneyyumholtz 18-21, F Apr 22, 2014

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    I'm 6-ish weeks clean now,

    and it's pretty cool. I can wear shirts now! What a relief - it'll be Summer here soon. The fear of relapse is still always in the back of my head.
    Kneetar04 Kneetar04 18-21, F Nov 4, 2014

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    Struggling Not To Hurt Me

    I have been off and on cutting for 8 years. Wow that seems so long. Every time I try to stop eventually I just go back. The first time my mom found out, I was in 9th grade. The school counselor called home when she found a letter I wrote about downing a bottle of pills and just...
    forgottenxxmemories forgottenxxmemories 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2011

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    I just threw away my blades last week.

    .. I felt really lost afterwards and only hope I can learn to live and cope with life without them. I have self-harmed for about 2 years on and off, and although I didn't do it for long, it became addicting so fast. The first time I tried to stay clean of cutting I began to burn...
    Neverthinenough Neverthinenough 16-17, F Mar 6, 2014

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    Contemplating

    I have real abandonment issues. My father(my chief supporter most of the time)and my doctor are out of the country right now. I feel depressed and just want to sleep all the time. I have 2 and1//2 years without cutting. I just switched to overdosing which can still get me in...
    sparkles10 sparkles10 46-50 Oct 13, 2012

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    My Struggle

    Ive been struggling with self mutilation since elementary school. The first time i hurt myself is strangely easy to remember, there have been so many instances since then, they all blur together. What i do remember is being overwhelmingly upset, and alone. The first time i hurt...
    itallhitsthewall itallhitsthewall 22-25, F Mar 7, 2013

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    I guess I am the only male on here.

    I have scars on my wrists and arms, that are very visable, from cutting. I used to pick the scabs after cutting, thus the scars. I haven't done it in years, but I still carry a razor blade. I thought about cutting for the past couple of weeks, but haven't.
    marques30s marques30s 31-35, M Oct 30, 2014

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    My Scars...

    my scars are finally healing..for the past year or so i've covered most up with makeup trying not to have people notice but when they did find out that i had cut they wanted to see.... they want to see my scars but they are almost faded and i don't want to make more because i...
    zyx262524 zyx262524 18-21, F 1 Response May 14, 2013

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    Documentary: Self Harm

    Have you self-harmed and want to share your story? You will be paid for your time. Location: world wide Format: online video interview. If in Ontario Canada, an in-person interview can be arranged. All work is carried out in a compassionate and respectful manner. Inbox with...
    clajournalism clajournalism 22-25, F Oct 11, 2012

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    My Story

    I used to cut myself when i was angry, I dont have very many cuts, but i go to therapy because of this, one day, I went crazy, and I cut alot, on my wrists, all extremely shallow, like scrapes, and now, every times I look at my wrist i just hate it, heaps of people comment...
    shineaway12 shineaway12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2012

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    Just Me And My Story...

    It's been 2 and a half years since my last time cutting myself. Yes, I'm a recovering cutter. I tried other forms of self mutilation, like burning but it made me think too much of Hell to serve the purpose I wanted. My thing was a nice shiney new razor blade...slices like butter...
    kookoobananas52 kookoobananas52 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 18, 2011

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    The Road Half Travled

    recovery is hard for many people because the pain was addicting it leaves a constant ache or pull but for me it's a little different. I've heard so many people say i needed to punish myself or it provides release but for me pain has warped itself just enough that i know it's...
    scarsrundeep scarsrundeep 13-15, M Jul 22, 2012

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    I Slipped

    Up the other day when I had gone almost a year w/out cutting or trying to. It's hard to do it these days when I know better and I have my son in my life. It was just a terrible rush of all the negatives in my life and I felt strongly like I had hit rock bottom and so I stood in...
    IMeWed IMeWed 26-30, F 2 Responses May 14, 2011

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    I have been battling depression

    for nine years now. Despite my efforts to hide my self injury, my parents eventually found out. It happened when I was at my friends house, figured changing into my hoodie for the night wouldnt show anything too bad. I was wrong. In that short few seconds of my left arm being...
    tayelizabeth tayelizabeth 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 22, 2014

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    Bye Bye Blades..

    I've selfharmed for over 4 years .. I've bruised,scratched,burned,pulled hair, and the thing I've done the most and my "preference" is cutting.... Today my boyfriend told me how proud he was that i threw away my blades.. but thats not totally true.. i did throw them away but i...
    Megs11 Megs11 18-21 Aug 18, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I've always felt that way,I'm 26 and from the time I was a teen I was really different from the others,like many people told me I act like I'm 40
    anastasia11 anastasia11 26-30, F 23 mins ago

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    I will take it from anybody.... I have taken so much, and I am at my limits. I have allowed my self to take it because I am tired of the back and forth crap that goes with it...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 7 hrs ago

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    WATCH THE VIDEO AFTER YOU HAVE READ!i have bee sitting in my own temptations and pleasures talking to people who are only making me more gay and as i have noticed this i seem to...
    idkwhatiam idkwhatiam 13-15, M 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Under the category of 'insomniac pet peeves' : I will meet people (clients, friends, acquaintance) for the first time. The problem? I'm quietly convinced that I have met them...
    mokele mokele 31-35, M 15 hrs ago

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    Which is stupid, considering how much confidence I have. Anxiety attacks are rare now. I maybe have one a few times a month. PTSD, will torment me for the rest of my life. Oh...
    NoRegretsAndNoRemorse NoRegretsAndNoRemorse 22-25, F 3 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I have incredible low self worth. I have been through a lot in my life, and I realize that I haven't lived that long of a life, but when your whole life you are made to believe...
    AlliesWorld AlliesWorld 22-25, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I got bullied in high school by a bunch of girls. They treated me really badly like someone who wasn't worthy of being their friends. My best friend, only nice friend, eventually...
    Justventingg Justventingg 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Before this year I've never worn a two piece bathing suit to a beach. My body is a road map of scars. Surgical scars. I've collected them as if they were stars, but, I have abused...
    Inevitablyflawed Inevitablyflawed 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I never thought myself as pretty or beautiful.I was often teased and bullied as a child.Those experiences affected me in such a way that I began to develop low self-esteem at a...
    KAYDUBAU KAYDUBAU 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    I will have 9 months this Sunday! I am so grateful to be sober today. I like myself more when I'm sober. Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed though. I'm just not feeling...
    JennPenn JennPenn 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dear future self, We both know that pointless niceties mean nothing to us. So, I'll get straight to the point. What have you done? Can you honestly say that you're happy with the...
    PianoChan PianoChan 18-21, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I've got a history of self harming but my method has changed as I got older. When I was 15ish, my method of release was cutting with the sharp point of a maths compass (unusual I...
    Anon0188 Anon0188 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    For about two to three years, I have self-harmed. Mostly cutting, but I also punched myself, punched objects, starved and made myself throw up {not sure if that the last two are...
    luciethedepressedllama luciethedepressedllama 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I was overweight growing up. From when I was about 6 to sometime after I turned 12 when I began to realize how terrible my eating habits had gotten. After being about 160lbs in 5th...
    Elliearellano Elliearellano 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    It was a year ago. I started it for a stupid reason. On a whim, I thought I'd try it. My first time I made three cuts. I thought taking the blade slowly across my skin was how it...
    EvaianRae EvaianRae 18-21, F Jul 24

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    I have extreme depression.
    Killingmesoftly78 Killingmesoftly78 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 24

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    I have been binge eating all afternoon because my mom would rather work than be with me.
    secretchey secretchey 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    Basically you see everyone is just taking selfies all the time and how good they look, people are just all over it "omg thats soo cute" "omg you look so good 😍❤️" "blah blah...
    Sublevarse Sublevarse 18-21, M 4 Responses Jul 23

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    So I joined EP a few weeks ago coming from a background of extremely low self-esteem and terrible body image and no self worth. I could never find anyone near me who was a part of...
    Others2468 Others2468 31-35, M 1 Response Jul 23

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    I am a recovering alcoholic and trying to get clean from cocaine, legal, and weed. I enjoy talking to men 30+ years older than me. My favorite thing to do is drive 120 mph on the...
    uicke uicke 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Losing someone you love to the inner thoughts of there own mind. You know when you love a person so much and they think about the problems and not the relationship,they always say...
    sasukeguns sasukeguns 16-17, F Jul 23

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    I'm not really sure where to start. If anyone manages to get through all of this experience then well done to them. I have a girlfriend, whom I love, and she loves me. I moved to...
    Tomgerine Tomgerine 22-25, M Jul 23

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    All these years, I've never quite known what my escapism was until recently. Is it normal? Is it a disorder? Am I mentally ill? Is it common? What is normal? Well to me, in...
    Tamikles Tamikles 26-30, F Jul 22

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    I haven't self-harmed in two months. (Since I was last institutionalized for trying to commit suicide..again.) I've been self harming for a few years now and I've never went more...
    TheMorticiansDaughter TheMorticiansDaughter 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 22

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    I wouldn't give my past self any advice. Since you learn from the past whether it's a failure or not. So to go back in time and give yourself advice would change your "present...
    ValhallaAwaits ValhallaAwaits 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 22

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    If I weren't on the inside looking out I'd be f'n laffing! Ex decided to quit paying child support - or when he does he pays far less than ordered knowing we live hand to mouth (no...
    jules021775 jules021775 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 21

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