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I Am Recovering From Self Mutilation

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 173 People

    Struggling Not To Hurt Me

    I have been off and on cutting for 8 years. Wow that seems so long. Every time I try to stop eventually I just go back. The first time my mom found out, I was in 9th grade. The school counselor called home when she found a letter I wrote about downing a bottle of pills and just...
    forgottenxxmemories forgottenxxmemories 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2011

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    My Struggle

    Ive been struggling with self mutilation since elementary school. The first time i hurt myself is strangely easy to remember, there have been so many instances since then, they all blur together. What i do remember is being overwhelmingly upset, and alone. The first time i hurt...
    itallhitsthewall itallhitsthewall 22-25, F Mar 7, 2013

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    I'm 6-ish weeks clean now,

    and it's pretty cool. I can wear shirts now! What a relief - it'll be Summer here soon. The fear of relapse is still always in the back of my head.
    Kneetar04 Kneetar04 18-21, F Nov 4, 2014

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    Bye Bye Blades..

    I've selfharmed for over 4 years .. I've bruised,scratched,burned,pulled hair, and the thing I've done the most and my "preference" is cutting.... Today my boyfriend told me how proud he was that i threw away my blades.. but thats not totally true.. i did throw them away but i...
    Megs11 Megs11 18-21 Aug 18, 2013

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    My Scars...

    my scars are finally healing..for the past year or so i've covered most up with makeup trying not to have people notice but when they did find out that i had cut they wanted to see.... they want to see my scars but they are almost faded and i don't want to make more because i...
    zyx262524 zyx262524 18-21, F 1 Response May 14, 2013

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    I Slipped

    Up the other day when I had gone almost a year w/out cutting or trying to. It's hard to do it these days when I know better and I have my son in my life. It was just a terrible rush of all the negatives in my life and I felt strongly like I had hit rock bottom and so I stood in...
    IMeWed IMeWed 26-30, F 2 Responses May 14, 2011

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    I was in a 4 year battle with myself.

    I self harmed as a way to release the pain and remind myself that I still have the ability to feel. Also because I hated myself and wanted to die constantly. I have struggled with severe anxiety since 7th grade and I'm now in 11th grade. I have nervous breakdowns pretty often...
    sydneyyumholtz sydneyyumholtz 18-21, F Apr 22, 2014

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    I have been battling depression

    for nine years now. Despite my efforts to hide my self injury, my parents eventually found out. It happened when I was at my friends house, figured changing into my hoodie for the night wouldnt show anything too bad. I was wrong. In that short few seconds of my left arm being...
    tayelizabeth tayelizabeth 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 22, 2014

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    My Story

    I used to cut myself when i was angry, I dont have very many cuts, but i go to therapy because of this, one day, I went crazy, and I cut alot, on my wrists, all extremely shallow, like scrapes, and now, every times I look at my wrist i just hate it, heaps of people comment...
    shineaway12 shineaway12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2012

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    Contemplating

    I have real abandonment issues. My father(my chief supporter most of the time)and my doctor are out of the country right now. I feel depressed and just want to sleep all the time. I have 2 and1//2 years without cutting. I just switched to overdosing which can still get me in...
    sparkles10 sparkles10 46-50 Oct 13, 2012

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    The Road Half Travled

    recovery is hard for many people because the pain was addicting it leaves a constant ache or pull but for me it's a little different. I've heard so many people say i needed to punish myself or it provides release but for me pain has warped itself just enough that i know it's...
    scarsrundeep scarsrundeep 13-15, M Jul 22, 2012

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    Documentary: Self Harm

    Have you self-harmed and want to share your story? You will be paid for your time. Location: world wide Format: online video interview. If in Ontario Canada, an in-person interview can be arranged. All work is carried out in a compassionate and respectful manner. Inbox with...
    clajournalism clajournalism 22-25, F Oct 11, 2012

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    I guess I am the only male on here.

    I have scars on my wrists and arms, that are very visable, from cutting. I used to pick the scabs after cutting, thus the scars. I haven't done it in years, but I still carry a razor blade. I thought about cutting for the past couple of weeks, but haven't.
    marques30s marques30s 31-35, M Oct 30, 2014

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    Just Me And My Story...

    It's been 2 and a half years since my last time cutting myself. Yes, I'm a recovering cutter. I tried other forms of self mutilation, like burning but it made me think too much of Hell to serve the purpose I wanted. My thing was a nice shiney new razor blade...slices like butter...
    kookoobananas52 kookoobananas52 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 18, 2011

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    Hurts So Good..

    The only thing holding me back is the promise I made to myself. It's been 6 months, we've got to see how long I can go. Can I just make it to a year? At least... It's so hard. Especially in moments like these, where I reach out for a helping hand, only to see my hand is the only...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom 18-21, F 5 Responses May 25, 2011

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    I just threw away my blades last week.

    .. I felt really lost afterwards and only hope I can learn to live and cope with life without them. I have self-harmed for about 2 years on and off, and although I didn't do it for long, it became addicting so fast. The first time I tried to stay clean of cutting I began to burn...
    Neverthinenough Neverthinenough 16-17, F Mar 6, 2014

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    Oh So Tempting

    Over time i've become severely depressed and anxious, as a result, i ended up pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes (and yes, it is a form of self mutilation because of the pain and feeling of releasing pressure sensations that come with doing such a thing),  not with tweesers...
    Mishy17 Mishy17 16-17, F Jun 2, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    All of my past disorders mainly started from self harm. My anorexia, started with me refusing to eat, because it was physically painful, and if felt right. But later it became an...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I have over 40 scars, one on each wrist and more than 20 on the outside of each thigh. The ones on my wrists are hardly visible. The ones on my thighs are a different story. The...
    quirkygirl520 quirkygirl520 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    This is a piece of writing that I found years ago and have changed and enhanced to fit my own situation. It is very descriptive and if you are someone who self harms, it may...
    GreenEyedFox GreenEyedFox 22-25, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    I use to self-inflict pain upon myself physically but at some point I found emotional pain more painful. Emotional self-infliction is something more controllable than physical; no...
    BriarRose96 BriarRose96 18-21, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    Boys dont self harm... yea right. about 3 percent do... Im out of the 3 percent.... horrible childhood and still horrible now. You were suppose to die at birth i keep telling...
    InfiniteZero InfiniteZero 13-15, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I use to be extremely addicted to self harm I wanted nothing more then to feel a blade cut through my flesh. it was more when I was losing control in my personal life that I began...
    emovamp emovamp 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    one less ********* in the world tonight. :) so naturally that puts me in to a very good mood.
    SystemK SystemK 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was twelve years old when I took a razor to my wrist for the first time. That is the moment in my life I wish I could change because little did I know that one simple act could...
    kait52 kait52 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I'm going into my 4th month of self injuring . It helps me a lot. My mom knows that I self injure but she didn't ask why or anything. She just threatened to take my door off to my...
    Timelord1702 Timelord1702 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I know no one can instill self confidence in you and that it must come from within, but really how do you get what you never had? I have just about zero self confidence. Anything...
    SomeoneOutThere SomeoneOutThere 41-45, M 2 days ago

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    Even if I do 'recover' from self-harm, even if I never did it again - not that that would happen - I'm never going to undo it. The scars on my skin will fade, but I'll never be...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    It happened again only this time I bruised myself. I felt like cutting but the people around me notice more and get upset. I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I hate my life. I am born into a semi wealthy family, however, money has nothing to to with this (maybe a little). I grew up thinking life is wonderful, and that I will experience...
    itshouldhavebeenezbb itshouldhavebeenezbb 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Every day is war to me, A struggle to obtain reality. A shower, my breakfast, putting on my shoes. It's hard to see the point some days, And no one has a clue. I have been...
    BashfulBlue BashfulBlue 16-17, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    I don't know how to handle my anxiety and depression anymore. I feel so lost and different. I have so much going on in my mind lately I just don't know what to do. I just want all...
    ashmuisc ashmuisc 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    It sure as hell is not a choice. I just read a lot of judgemental a$$hole comments from people who lack factual knowledge on mood disorders. There is a reason they do cognitive...
    krazeekatie krazeekatie 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Well.. this didn't went as expected.. It all started out so damn well. 2 days ago I was going to my very first dance festival by bus. DefQon 1. A heavy electronic music festival...
    ChocolateMountain ChocolateMountain 18-21, M Jun 21

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    On November 3rd, 2014, three of my friends and I were t-boned by an 18-wheeler at 57 mph. My best friend and another close friend were killed on impact. The driver of our car and...
    greyslover21 greyslover21 16-17, F Jun 20

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    Is it bad that we make decisions for our own happiness. Or is it bad that we aren't stepping in line with what other people want. It sounds selfish to demand from people who are...
    RDevil87 RDevil87 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    Dear Dr Stephanie I'm very thankful for all the time ,advice and therapy you ve given me ..I have benefited very much from those session and my life is much darker without your...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    Don't you ever feel like you don't have anything to wake up to in the morning? That's how I feel every day. I feel like a robot being assembled each day to redo the same pattern...
    CelestialCrafter CelestialCrafter 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 19

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    I became depressed in the 6th grade. That was the year that I was sexually assaulted by a few students on my bus. They threatened to beat me if I ever told anyone about it, so I...
    neutralbeanie neutralbeanie 13-15, T 1 Response Jun 19

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    I had moved into my first apartment. I was opining boxes and came across the ones with all my girl clothes and then the box with my bondage gear. I thought to my self its time to...
    misstinabondage2 misstinabondage2 18-21, T 5 Responses Jun 18

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    currently doing all I can to fight it, and it f#$@ing sucks!
    ramdomgirl02 ramdomgirl02 13-15, F Jun 17

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    I would tell my past self to not worry about what others opinion. Girls are haters so don't take what they say into consideration. Your beauty over shine their negativity. Bullying...
    URSTRULYAngelina URSTRULYAngelina 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    trying so hard to fight it . .
    truerespect21 truerespect21 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 16

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