I Am Sad Forum & Chat Board | Help makes the steps to happiness

I'm tired of being sadd, I'm not sadd all the time however.  I would bet that u are not sadd all the time either.

I want to know what you do to be happy, so mayhaps I can try your process to happiness.

One of mine is volunteer A LOT!

A man I admire greatly once told me a story about when he was young and sadd just like I am.  His name was Neale, about my age, early 20's, didn't really have much going for him and didn't have many people that cared about him.  Neale was sadd around everyone and then one day his friend got fed up with his attitude and demanded that he come with him the next day, but he would not say where.

The next day came, Neale went with his friend to a house in town.  Inside the house was a man that was dying from cancer in his legs.  Neale's friend would come to the house everyday to change the old man's bandages because the cancer was causing bloody sores to form on his legs.  Neale didn't say anything and just watched as his friend worked and chatted with the old man.  After his friend had finished, he introduced Neale to the old man by saying, "This is Neale, he will be taking over from me for a while."

Neale was astonished, he didn't know what to say.  He couldn't argue with his friend infront of the man, he had to be polite.  However, after they left the house Neale let out a few words indeed.  Neale's friend wouldn't hear it, and Neale ended up taking the volunteer posistion.  It turned out to be a life changing experience.  The old man turned out to be amazingly funny and friendly despite his pain and condition.  Neale started to take great joy from seeing the old man everyday and enjoyed helping him tremendiously.  When Neale's friend came back, Neale didn't want to give up the volunteer posistion.

After Neale has told me this story, he explained that what happened to him was that he got out of his story.  Neale was so caught up in his life troubles he couldn't see anything else.  Once he started to volunteer, he forgot about his story and started to become concerned about other people's stories. 

His advice to me was to get out of my story and volunteer.  Bring joy into someone else's life and joy will come into yours.  If you want to have something, give it away, it will come back to you.

I think doing anything productive is a good idea.  I know that for the longest time I would just play a video game or watch tv or a movie, but in the end I would just feel worse for doing absolutely nothing.  I've been trying to stay on top of my coursework and getting things done around my apartment and getting in shape/eating better and it definitely helps.  It doesn't eliminate the sadness but it does help.

I agree... like giving yourself a purpose or something is probably the best thing I've done in terms of happiness. In fact, I made a list when I turned 18 of things to do before I was 19 which would make me feel that much more complete. Volunteer work was on there, as well as simple light stuff like learning a new hobbie or exploring a place I've never been. I dunno if that helps.. but it really worked for me :)