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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50,034 People

    You know when people say

    or do something... and in your head you think something... well sadly sometimes I say them out loud. Some while ago we went to see my daughter in a swimming gala. One of her team-mate's mothers sat near us. She walked past - well she'd had the haircut which was a disaster. I...
    nunos nunos 51-55, M 11 Responses Jun 2

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 8 Responses Jun 15

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    "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" Only

    for those who have no idea how to use it. Those who frequently say "um" and "y'know". No I don't know. Articulate yourself. Then you might get my sarcasm
    LillikoiSeed LillikoiSeed 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 11

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 11

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    XD even being a fairly sarcastic person myself,

    i know its suprising, but i would be one of those people who was caught of gaurd by. Sometimes the sarcasm in somthing someone says just completely goes over my head. Spending my summer at then lake with 4 other woman/young woman exactly like this (aka my family) we even...
    a1uM1nuM448 a1uM1nuM448 13-15, F Aug 15

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    The true art of sarcasm is

    when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
    maddgirl maddgirl 18-21, F 12 Responses May 31

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    My favourite phrase "No **** Sherlock" haha I

    know it's popular and used by a lot of people but I've used it for a very long time ;)
    XxWolfGirlMidnightxX XxWolfGirlMidnightxX 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 15

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 9 Responses Jul 10

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    So this one time I was asked by a friend only a

    day before homecoming if I wanted to go with him. When he got to my house to pick me up, my mom told me not to do anything stupid. And I responded with, "No mom, I'm just gonna shoot up meth in the bathroom." She chuckled a little, but I took a step towards the door then said...
    pinheadlari pinheadlari 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Have to be sarcastic

    once in awhile think it saves on you punching stupid people in the face
    catluver2008 catluver2008 26-30, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    HoloTheWiseWolf HoloTheWiseWolf 13-15, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's ok friend it's ok :3 (in crys voice)

    if you know who cry is you are awesome!!!!!!!
    vivian3172 vivian3172 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    The first three years

    when my mom was together with my stepdad he didn't understand when I was being sarcastic, which was great seeing his reaction. An example of this is one time he bursts into the living room where me and my mom were watching tv and he goes on about how well Liverpool were doing in...
    hummbleguy hummbleguy 13-15, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    stwolfwood stwolfwood 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 21

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 8

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    lovelyloner143 lovelyloner143 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Please don't take any offense,

    I don't mean any of my sarcasm. I just like using it. I do apologize if I actually hurt anyone's feelings. I don't mean to. I'm sorry. But yeah, I am sarcastic. So expect that from me.. or anyone for that matter. Well.. by anyone I mean those cool people.
    mercifulpennies mercifulpennies 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Remember when emojis were real facial

    expressions done by real people? Goooood tiiiiimes
    lykkeismyname lykkeismyname 16-17, T 1 Response Aug 17

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    mewtoi mewtoi 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    So

    one day I stopped being sarcastic. It was horrible.
    herotherself herotherself 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    ButtersTheMerciful ButtersTheMerciful 13-15, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I want power want to rule over every single

    being,thing. There is this urge inside growing to tear apart. I know it is there every calm hour I hear it ,I see it. And it's gonna happen to me with a higher change.
    sidharthasankar sidharthasankar 18-21, M Aug 20

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    Yeah right ..... just an example of my sarcasm.

    Wolf vs eagle: The wolf wins because it can jump up to 100000 feet and it can fly. Wolf vs lion (one on one, let's say they're on a Roman coliseum, where no one interferes): It's so obvious, the wolf still wins, c'mon guys. The lion cannot stand a chance because it's not using...
    ThelaughingSky ThelaughingSky 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 19

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    I have became sooooo sarcastic

    that no one even knows anymore when I am sarcastic and when I am not. And yes, I just looooooove seeing my boyfriend's ex, I just do.
    anrim654 anrim654 18-21, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    cicizzle cicizzle 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    The Sarcastic Exit Line (SEL)

    One of my favourite things in life (not quite as good as sex but close) is the Sarcastic Exit Line (SEL). The scenario is irresistible: Imagine a group of people chatting about a particular person and everyone seems to be in total agreement about him/her and hopefully, it's a...
    screamqueen1994 screamqueen1994 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    My favorite response to anything I am tired of

    listening to is.. " hey- what"s red and hurts your teeth?" :: dramatic pause:: "A brick" The silence and confusion is so satisfying.
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Sarcasm

    I hate it when people ask me at the supermarket 'what are you doing here?' Oh, you know, just hunting elephants..
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    I'm really sarcastic cause my mom says omggggg

    its so cold outside I'll be like no **** Sherlock or noooo its not cold it's really hot!! Or when my friends are like girl ya have a bathroom I'll be like no we take a **** in the sink xD
    vivian3172 vivian3172 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Honestly I'm one of the most sarcastic people

    ever, and some people take most of the things I say personally. But I'm always joking around so people need to just chill...
    Lanigga14 Lanigga14 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 19

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    Sarcastic Confession

    yes, i admit it.  i am sarcastic ... but only when i'm awake. for those of you who believe sarcasm is cruel or can get out of hand all i have to say is ... i imagine, in all reality, that sarcasm is, for the most part, a defense mechanism.  not only that but, ...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 15 Responses May 25, 2007

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    whatsmyageagain23 whatsmyageagain23 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 12 Responses Jul 4

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    I will probably delete this app bc I'm done

    with it but if u can give me reasons why I should keep it I will decide in the morning sooooo goodnight everybody
    Bradleycrab Bradleycrab 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 13

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    Forever using sarcasm

    as a wall to hide behind. Basically saying how I feel but with sarcasm so it doesn't seem so personal
    sunnychoke sunnychoke 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    It's very sad that some people just don't get it

    when you're being sarcastic. You make brilliant, witty, dry comment and then ... Nothing. A blank stare back complete with gaping mouth and flies. You're waiting for a lightbulb aha moment for them to register what you just said, then belatedly realize this monkey was missing...
    porfavor porfavor 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 17

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    vay123 vay123 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    ImmortalRussian ImmortalRussian 18-21, M 3 Responses May 28

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    The Beauty In Sarcasm

    Oh sarcasm. These poor bystanders haven't a clue what you're doing. Is she being sarcastic? Is she not? Sarcasm is an enabler. It lets you get away with saying things that you normally wouldn't, without meaning it. In fact, you can tell the truth straight to somebody's face in...
    stephanie929 stephanie929 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    NutellaNut NutellaNut 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 17

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    My teacher made me stand outside

    for 10 minutes. But we're cool though.
    MacabreCannibal MacabreCannibal 16-17, F Aug 19

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    When people ask me dumb questions I can't help

    but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
    Liveandlovefree Liveandlovefree 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I Am A Thief

    I am a thief.  I steal.  In fact, I've been stealing for a very long time.   I've evolved, as a thief.  My first thieving experiment didn't go so well.  I was in a Safeway (you know those right?  they're all the same, except the ones in Danville and rich...
    evanidul evanidul 31-35, M 7 Responses Jan 31, 2012

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    Something about a sarcastic

    yet confident dude, oh it drives me crazy in a good way!!!
    Lthayer2011 Lthayer2011 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    athenalovlies athenalovlies 18-21, F 12 Responses May 7

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    I love it when something I say catches the

    person it's directed at completely off guard! The look on their face when they finally realize they just got "HAD" can be so funny!! If I had a camera that I wore 24/7 I would probably be rich by now!! Hahaha! I only do this with people I know! And only in fun!
    Panth69 Panth69 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    I am so sarcastic and people mistake that

    as me being mean when I'm actually really nice! ...just very sarcastic, witty, and snippy.
    enza105 enza105 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 12

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    People

    In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes stepped on my feet...and then she said," Sorry did that hurt?" I just wanna say, "not at all. I’m on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?" Ugh people =_='
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    My Mother : One day youll turn around

    and I wont be here ....really Ma ( I turn around) oops apparently not today youre still here!
    Radformula7 Radformula7 46-50, M 4 days ago

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    I'm so sarcastic sometimes people think I'm

    actually stupid :/ SUCKERZZZZ
    NoraWilliams NoraWilliams 13-15, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Please r