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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 77,439 People

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 21 Responses Feb 20, 2015

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    I hate when people say you don't need alcohol

    to have fun. You don't need running shoes to run but it fucken helps.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 14 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'd wish you the best,

    but you already had it.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sarcasm is a lost art.

    everyone assumes I'm mean, yet that's besides the point. sarcasm isn't mean it's just a way of interaction. you assume too much and get hurt from your own conclusion you're jumping to.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Aug 16, 2015

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    deleted deleted 26-30 25 Responses Apr 25, 2015

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    Sometimes I hate when people give me

    encouragement. I feel like saying "Shut up I know I can do it, I just don't want to."
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    My best friend took this pic

    and I had to share it....some times even the heavens say **** you
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Sep 8, 2015

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 11 Responses Nov 5, 2015

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    I'm really not miserable.

    I'm all peace, love and go **** yourself.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 2 Responses Feb 19, 2015

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    Sometimes, even I can't tell

    if I'm being sarcastic or I'm just a *****!
    Serena6669 Serena6669 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 26

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    I love the taste of water.

    Especially frozen into cubes and completely surrounded by vodka.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 28

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 30

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    Whenever someone says "It's getting hot in

    here", I automatically think "So take off all your clothes."
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 14 Responses Jan 20

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    I don't have a bucket list,

    but my fucket list is a mile long.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 11 Responses Nov 3, 2015

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    I kill pride. I hurt feelings.

    Click clack. Bang bang.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 27

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm actually not funny.

    I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 22 Responses Oct 1, 2015

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    Teach your daughters the 7 B's.

    .. Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 28

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    It's all fun and games

    until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 10 Responses Oct 10, 2015

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 27

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 11 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 27

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    I'm too old to drop it like it's hot.

    I'm just gonna sit down like it's warm.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    This woman complained

    that I don't put enough gas in my car when we go out to eat. So I went to a Gas Station and we ate snacks there. 2 birds with 1 stone. #GasStationDating
    DC313 DC313 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 18, 2015

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    Lyra42 Lyra42 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    Yes, I know there's a special place in hell

    for me. It's called the throne.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 4, 2015

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    Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into

    your man, just smile really big and ask "Notice anything different?"
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 29

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 5 Responses Jan 30

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 18 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    "Give it to me!" she yelled.

    "I'm so ******* wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    My doctor asked if any members of our family

    suffered from insanity. I replied No, we all seem to enjoy it.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 8 Responses Jan 29

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    Chronotis Chronotis 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 28

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    "When I think about you,

    I touch myself"... which translates to I rub my temples, because you give me a fukcing migraine.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 23, 2015

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    I usually laugh at my own texts

    before I send them, because I rarely say something that's not hilarious.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 2, 2015

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    I'm here on EP only to read about your issues

    and problems to feel better about mine.
    oNanori oNanori 22-25, F 13 Responses Oct 19, 2015

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    Menstruation, menopause,

    mental breakdown... ...notice how all women's problems start with Men
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 32 Responses Jan 13

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 12 Responses Feb 12, 2015

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    Thou shall not judge,

    because thou has ****** up before too.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    More of a question really.

    What's the best one liner you have used to shut someone down?
    janey8 janey8 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 30

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    I have to use sarcasm at work,

    because apparently, slapping the hell out of your co-workers is frowned upon by management.
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 13 Responses Jul 9, 2015

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    If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen

    after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.
    Unine Unine 36-40, F 10 Responses Nov 7, 2015

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    "It's what's inside that makes you

    beautiful" *the demon possessing my body blushes*
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 12, 2015

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    Unine Unine 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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