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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 56,636 People

    so i was wondering...

    do you think you you use your sarcasm as a defense mechanism? i noticed when i feel better about myself i tend to be less sarcastic and cynic. mmm.. what do you think?
    sweetheart00 sweetheart00 31-35, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I have been told that I am EXTREMELY sarcastic.

    . and sometimes my friends cannot tell whether or not I am being serious when I say things..
    ComplexLogic ComplexLogic 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 7

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 15 Responses Sep 15

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    Yesterday in science we had a substitute

    teacher. He was doing attendance and called out my friend's name. He said, "Is Vanessa here?" Then I answered, "No she died."
    chocolategumdrop16 chocolategumdrop16 16-17, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17

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    I'm a sarcastic sonofabitch.

    What's worse, is that I have certain family members who are completely incapable of detecting / understanding sarcasm. Those are fun conversations...
    WierdSteve WierdSteve 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 9

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    There is no "I" in team,

    well there is no "U" in team either. So I guess U and I aren't on the effing team...
    Bitt3rSweet Bitt3rSweet 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 22

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    People

    In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes stepped on my feet...and then she said," Sorry did that hurt?" I just wanna say, "not at all. I’m on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?" Ugh people =_='
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    Wow. Feeling suicidal,

    lonely, ugly, worthless, and disgusting are just great times..gotta love life at times :/
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 6 Responses Oct 29

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    I'm really sarcastic

    and my parents get so mad at me. They say I'm rude and I brat. Sorry but I can't control it.
    AyeKail AyeKail 13-15, F 11 Responses Sep 3

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    I hate when people at school walk

    so damn slow!! Like please people this ain't no snail race! I mean seriously I need a humongous shovel just to move people out of the damn way cause omg if you don't move and if that damn shovel doesn't do the trick then be surprised when you see blood and your face smushed to...
    CantHelpThinking CantHelpThinking 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 29

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    31 Things That Could Happen Only In

    Indiahttp://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/31-things-that-could-happen-only-in-india
    switchfooot switchfooot 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 28

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    Yep.i am lol. "Your bra strap is showing" Oh

    no.no one can know that,i a teenage girl,is wearing a bra.someone call Victoria cause her secret is out.
    Beewitching Beewitching 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    I Am A Thief

    I am a thief.  I steal.  In fact, I've been stealing for a very long time.   I've evolved, as a thief.  My first thieving experiment didn't go so well.  I was in a Safeway (you know those right?  they're all the same, except the ones in Danville and rich...
    evanidul evanidul 31-35, M 7 Responses Jan 31, 2012

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    I'm sarcastic alll the time.

    People don't even take me serious anymore! XD and I always do it when it's a serious timee
    justlaura24 justlaura24 13-15, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Everyone tells me I'm sarcastic,

    that I've been sarcastic since they can remember. It took me a while to realize I was.. Sarcasm come to me naturally, like breathing. It's really hard to catch myself. my bf gets mad at me for it too but I wouldn't have it any other way :)
    nessa8a nessa8a 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 7

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 46-50, F 4 Responses Feb 8

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    beautifuldisaster4 beautifuldisaster4 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 2

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    I concur. When you think about it

    that way, it takes away the guilt. :-)
    Loverofpeace Loverofpeace 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 1

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    A sense of humor few get.

    Damn it people. :)
    Turningofthetides Turningofthetides 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    Almost everytime someone says,

    "where is" blah blah blah, I respond by saying, "I ate it. It's somewhere in my small intestine," even if it's a person!! Any relatable stories? Share below!!
    olivesandbananas olivesandbananas 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 13 Responses Jul 10

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    Sarcasm, the lowest form of wit,

    The highest form of intelligence
    LittleLep LittleLep 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 19

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    Committing on everything your friend posts

    because your a cool kid lol
    ENGLAND22 ENGLAND22 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    AlyseJay AlyseJay 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 18

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    I'm not changing the subject.

    I can have multiple conversations with one person at a time, I'm skilled like that.
    Bitt3rSweet Bitt3rSweet 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 26

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    I have a new talent. I can **** people off just

    by looking at them. Imagine what I could do if I actually spoke.
    Bitt3rSweet Bitt3rSweet 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 28

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    I'm super sarcastic..

    . I often forget that when I meet new people they don't know that I am, therefore when I say something they'll take me seriously or don't get me. Sometimes it's frustrating because this is how I am, and it's hard to get people to truly understand me without thinking I'm being...
    aKe2 aKe2 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 30

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    When people ask me dumb questions I can't help

    but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
    Liveandlovefree Liveandlovefree 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    Some people say that I have a way of talking to

    people that I don't like or just don't care for that makes said people think that I care a lot about them because my sarcasm is said so deadpan without a hint of acid to it.
    djjak djjak 36-40, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I'm so sarcastic people can't tell

    when I'm being serious XD
    taylorrose99 taylorrose99 13-15, F 5 Responses Nov 10

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    i am really sarcastic

    but some people dont like it specially my dad he thinks its more offensive than funny :/
    comlpicatedguy comlpicatedguy 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 5

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    Sometimes I'm just too sarcastic

    that I make my friends not want to talk to me 😂
    maddieexo maddieexo 13-15, F 6 Responses Nov 10

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    You know when people say

    or do something... and in your head you think something... well sadly sometimes I say them out loud. Some while ago we went to see my daughter in a swimming gala. One of her team-mate's mothers sat near us. She walked past - well she'd had the haircut which was a disaster. I...
    nunos nunos 51-55, M 10 Responses Jun 2

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    There is a reason the knight in shining armour

    is covering his face. Happily ever after my arse!
    Bitt3rSweet Bitt3rSweet 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 29

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    People don't always understand me.

    Sarcasm should maybe be reserved for friends and family who already know me because when I use it at work or with strangers it usually blows up in my face. I don't mean to sound disrespectful but it can easily be taken that way ...somethin to be aware of!
    commonloon commonloon 46-50, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 8 Responses Jun 15

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    Whilst on the phone during business I always

    open with my name and where I'm calling from. Nobody seems to take notice until something important is said. They then say... "What WAS your name again! I say again "my name is.... And still is!" Most don't get my sarcasm :)
    Chopinsivories Chopinsivories 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 27

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    It is my second language.

    ...beware all you sensitive individuals.
    Sweetchic5 Sweetchic5 36-40, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" Only

    for those who have no idea how to use it. Those who frequently say "um" and "y'know". No I don't know. Articulate yourself. Then you might get my sarcasm
    LillikoiSeed LillikoiSeed 46-50, F 10 Responses Apr 11

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    If you can't be sarcastic

    and understand my sarcasm... Our Friendship won't work out.
    LittlemsA LittlemsA 13-15, F 4 Responses Nov 2

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    CanYouHearTheSilence CanYouHearTheSilence 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 27

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    It's got to the point

    where I'm just naturally sarcastic and now I do it without even realising it and it annoys the yell out of my friends, hell I even got told that even my clap is sarcastic xD
    NathanJD NathanJD 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 2

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 11

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    Miracles happen every day.

    I haven't choked the stupid out of anyone today. See? Miracle.
    Bitt3rSweet Bitt3rSweet 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 21

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    The true art of sarcasm is

    when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
    maddgirl maddgirl 18-21, F 11 Responses May 31

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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