happiness but i always figured
if you had enough money you could have a key made!!
calling me fat.
"Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
that's the shirt you wore the other day, right?"
Yes, *****. This is the shirt I wore the other ******* day. I have this awesome thing at home called a "WASHING MACHINE" you should get one :)
Me: I mean duhh.. CLOTHES of course
Okay, that was sarcastic. I'm very sarcastic. So yeah. Sarcasm.
New fresh! New start! :)
....(I didn't mean it guys)
just punch them in the jaw .
Seriously , just punch them in the jaw and go get some Beer.
because it's illegal to kill them"
but I don't mind if you can't take my sarcasm we won't get along anyway
while the total amount of IQ remains the same.
but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
.. did you miss me?"
To which she replies in the bluntest of tones... "Like a cat misses licking it's own arsehole".
Fit's perfectly I'd day
than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
If the problem is your face. :P
Pessimists say the glass is half empty,
I say 'repeat my drink '
Trolling is the fine art of using witty humour to challenge other people's' intelligence. And I am proud to say that I enjoy making clever jokes. Anything else is rather dull and not worth the effort! haha
Makes everything a bit more entertaining
When I decide to be a jerk, some people think I'm still being sarcastic while others actually realize I'm not.
teacher. He was doing attendance and called out my friend's name. He said,
"Is Vanessa here?"
Then I answered, "No she died."
they take life so serious. sometimes you need to laugh even if sarcasm is hurting you inside. just stop being so grumpy.
and laugh! !!
(just don't laugh at me...) hahaha
we're having a company over tonight for dinner.
Daughter/Son: Oh sorry, I didn't know dinner would be held in my bedroom. :O
Mom: Just do it -_-
that gets me through my day.
And coffee. Coffee helps too.
and they're like, "Hey, what are you doing here?!" and you're like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants!" *idiot*
breaks every bone in my body and coughs up blood*
friend: OMG ARE YOU OKAY?!!!!? CAN YOU STAND UP?!?! ARE YOU HURT!?!!
ME: Nah I'm fine because I didn't just fall down the stairs and I'm definitely not laying in a puddle of blood. yeah Im perfectly fine -_-
say something sarcastic so it's not so awkward. Also once I say the sarcastic remark sometimes people don't understand what I say so they stand there trying to figure out what I said:)
that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
apocalypse. I am going to have my brains eaten. But you, you have nothing to worry about.
that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
Me: nahhhhhh carpet for 97.
where people proclaim their desire to commit suicide.
People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is.
2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
3. People say, "can I ask you a...
than a sarcastic conversation that goes on and on without a break!! :)
...beware all you sensitive individuals.
I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
of other people.
Tell him/her: SET YOURSELF ON FIRE. -_-
that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
where people who shed tears for the poor are heroes, while businessmen who give them jobs are often villains
when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
" "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you."
In school they taught me that i couldn't live without:
My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period.
I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...