Girl: To see a movie?
Boy: No, to count the seats.
especially over the Internet, but I hope it's a cute trait and not a bitchy one haha
Trolling is the fine art of using witty humour to challenge other people's' intelligence. And I am proud to say that I enjoy making clever jokes. Anything else is rather dull and not worth the effort! haha
New fresh! New start! :)
....(I didn't mean it guys)
but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
we're having a company over tonight for dinner.
Daughter/Son: Oh sorry, I didn't know dinner would be held in my bedroom. :O
Mom: Just do it -_-
teacher. He was doing attendance and called out my friend's name. He said,
"Is Vanessa here?"
Then I answered, "No she died."
that gets me through my day.
And coffee. Coffee helps too.
but I don't mind if you can't take my sarcasm we won't get along anyway
" "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you."
In school they taught me that i couldn't live without:
My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period.
I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
If the problem is your face. :P
that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
they take life so serious. sometimes you need to laugh even if sarcasm is hurting you inside. just stop being so grumpy.
and laugh! !!
(just don't laugh at me...) hahaha
Makes everything a bit more entertaining
When I decide to be a jerk, some people think I'm still being sarcastic while others actually realize I'm not.
calling me fat.
"Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
Okay, that was sarcastic. I'm very sarcastic. So yeah. Sarcasm.
Me: nahhhhhh carpet for 97.
...beware all you sensitive individuals.
that's the shirt you wore the other day, right?"
Yes, *****. This is the shirt I wore the other ******* day. I have this awesome thing at home called a "WASHING MACHINE" you should get one :)
and they're like, "Hey, what are you doing here?!" and you're like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants!" *idiot*
where people proclaim their desire to commit suicide.
just punch them in the jaw .
Seriously , just punch them in the jaw and go get some Beer.
where people who shed tears for the poor are heroes, while businessmen who give them jobs are often villains
than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
Apparently, I'm not really good at it since people take me seriously and I get into trouble for it.
of other people.
Tell him/her: SET YOURSELF ON FIRE. -_-
that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
sarcasm...... That's why my Minecraft name is "The_Sarcasmist_"
because it's illegal to kill them"
I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
Me: I mean duhh.. CLOTHES of course
in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
say something sarcastic so it's not so awkward. Also once I say the sarcastic remark sometimes people don't understand what I say so they stand there trying to figure out what I said:)
that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
happiness but i always figured
if you had enough money you could have a key made!!
than a sarcastic conversation that goes on and on without a break!! :)
when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
.. did you miss me?"
To which she replies in the bluntest of tones... "Like a cat misses licking it's own arsehole".
Fit's perfectly I'd day
apocalypse. I am going to have my brains eaten. But you, you have nothing to worry about.
The highest form of intelligence
People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is.
2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
3. People say, "can I ask you a...