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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 70,477 People

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    No, I don't want to cut your toenails right now.

    I want your *** in bed. It's almost midnight
    Gwall1234 Gwall1234 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    I just ate a bowl full of cherries.

    ... Say something, *****!
    manchild81 manchild81 26-30, M 6 Responses Jul 15

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    About an hour until my dentist appointment.

    I love that hell hole. I mean, it scares the **** out of me, drains my self confidence (the spoonful that I have) and makes me utterly vulnerable to whatever my mum wants the demons to do to me, but, hey... this is going to be ******* amazing!!! #FuckingTerrified. 😆😖
    Jaybird17 Jaybird17 16-17, F Jun 25

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    reeessa reeessa 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    my sarcasm level is so freaking high.

    like I go 0-100 real quick with my sarcasm. if you don't understand sarcasm, we can't be friends because I am the most sarcastic person you will ever meet.
    allthelove allthelove 16-17, F 6 Responses Jun 19

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 23

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    If you have to explain

    after being sarcastic after being sarcastic, does that mean you were not sarcastic enough ?
    inexperiencedbloke inexperiencedbloke 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 16

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 25

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    I was looking at face book

    and could not help notice that one of the more advertised and apparent journeys to being a successful black mother and career women starts with being a white chick-
    Cr8N Cr8N 31-35, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 10 Responses May 14

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    If my battary was low

    and you where on a life machine... i would plug you out and charge my phone.
    Tabithah Tabithah 22-25, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    If anything you should know about me I am a

    sucker for witty sarcasm Oh also my name is Abigail, 17 and new to this :)
    ababe98 ababe98 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 17

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    paulsmith345 paulsmith345 16-17, M Jun 27

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 9

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    itsjakedam2 itsjakedam2 22-25, M 5 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    RedHwaiting RedHwaiting 18-21, F May 18

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Always at the wrong time

    or wrong place
    sandycheeks08 sandycheeks08 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Im sarcastic a lot, and I find Americans do not

    get that humour much. I may be wrong but in my experience
    lucasss91 lucasss91 22-25, M 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    a few days ago my company arrange motivation

    training for marketing purposes but there are I m not comfortable because every one are in Sirius mood trainer invited to me stage he asked me some simple question but I not able to give answer I feel nervous that time. I have lots ideas in my mind but when I gone my client that...
    Sunilkh Sunilkh 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 16

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    AfanOfbigNaturals AfanOfbigNaturals 46-50, M Jun 29

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    Serendipitydoda Serendipitydoda 36-40, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I was so proud when on Thanksgiving my six year

    old son used scarcasm properly for the first time. The 4 year old isn't there yet, but give her time. She is my mini-me after all.
    painterchick painterchick 36-40, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    Don't you just hate it

    when some fool thinks you're being serious...
    Calsi704 Calsi704 22-25, F 7 Responses Jul 2

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    This is literally my personality xD I'm just

    so sarcastic about everything. my friends generally say they don't know whether I'm being sarcastic or telling the truth. I guess they'll never know;) It's probably the only way I can properly deal with negativity.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses May 28

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    I have to use sarcasm at work,

    because apparently, slapping the hell out of your co-workers is frowned upon by management.
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 16 Responses Jul 9

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    when I'm sarcastic with a girl

    and she doesn't like it. ***** PLZZ LOL
    james6sydney james6sydney 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    JustKindaThere JustKindaThere 16-17, F Jul 7

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    Yes, I know there's a special place in hell

    for me. It's called the throne.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 7 Responses Jun 4

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 13 Responses Feb 12

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    "Hi whats ur name how old r u

    where r u from? Send some selfies? :)" Uh, no. I'm not here to be poorly flirted with by a desperate person like you.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 5 Responses May 16

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    Do people get your sarcasm

    or you have to be sarcastic about being sarcastic?
    inexperiencedbloke inexperiencedbloke 31-35, M 8 Responses Jul 15

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    NOTHING travels faster

    than the speed of stupid!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 27

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    Sometimes it's fun being sarcastic.

    Sometimes it's a gift.. but other times it's curse. Oh well!!!!!
    VelcroB VelcroB 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 14

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 23 Responses Feb 20

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    Be careful how you word your messages to me.

    Or you might receive a sarcastic picture message in return.
    lonelytechie lonelytechie 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 7

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    I am a legend when it comes to being sarcastic.

    ....I'll rev my sarcastic engine so fast that you 'll be left in the dust.I can rev it up to 7000 revs per minute.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 9 Responses Jun 29

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 8 Responses Feb 26

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