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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 54,599 People

    My mom told me that I started being extremely

    sarcastic by the time I was age 9 :)
    euphorian euphorian 16-17, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Am A Thief

    I am a thief.  I steal.  In fact, I've been stealing for a very long time.   I've evolved, as a thief.  My first thieving experiment didn't go so well.  I was in a Safeway (you know those right?  they're all the same, except the ones in Danville and rich...
    evanidul evanidul 31-35, M 7 Responses Jan 31, 2012

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 13 Responses Jul 10

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    My favorite response to anything I am tired of

    listening to is.. " hey- what"s red and hurts your teeth?" :: dramatic pause:: "A brick" The silence and confusion is so satisfying.
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 27

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    in my surgical technology college we name our

    gynecology patients after U.S. presidents, so far we have given the Bush administration 4 Hysterectomies, 6 cervical cerclages, a couple D&C's, and multiple C-sections
    Shatterhex Shatterhex 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 14

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    I get in so much trouble

    for this at home. It's like a disease. and I don't care if people get my humor or not...
    Theworldisminenow Theworldisminenow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 13

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    The true art of sarcasm is

    when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
    maddgirl maddgirl 18-21, F 12 Responses May 31

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    You know when people say

    or do something... and in your head you think something... well sadly sometimes I say them out loud. Some while ago we went to see my daughter in a swimming gala. One of her team-mate's mothers sat near us. She walked past - well she'd had the haircut which was a disaster. I...
    nunos nunos 51-55, M 10 Responses Jun 2

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    "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" Only

    for those who have no idea how to use it. Those who frequently say "um" and "y'know". No I don't know. Articulate yourself. Then you might get my sarcasm
    LillikoiSeed LillikoiSeed 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 11

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    I just LOVE people who don't understand sarcasm.

    .. Seriously.. It's hilarious when you're being sarcastic and people think your being serious and you just want to slap them in the face...
    catho catho 16-17, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    82creativetype 82creativetype 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    This can make my husband

    and family a little grouchy at times lol
    ThistleAndWeeds ThistleAndWeeds 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 3

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    hopi88 hopi88 22-25 1 Response 3 days ago

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 15 Responses Sep 15

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    So my cousins friend was being rude

    and annoying so she was asking my cousin if she has any annoying habits and I said ' Yes , breathing ' and she's like ' omg omg what ?' I know it was mean , but I couldn't help myself lol Some people think I'm mean because my humour isn't exactly nice ;p
    EssSmith EssSmith 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 12

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    Ask me a stupid question?

    I'll answer with a stupid response. :D
    KendrickLamarTho KendrickLamarTho 13-15, F 4 Responses Oct 6

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    LikeAPrayer LikeAPrayer 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 11

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    Lol but with my sarcasm I am too serious,

    and instead of thinking I'm being sarcastic, people just think I'm weird haha
    racc000n racc000n 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    A sense of humor few get.

    Damn it people. :)
    Turningofthetides Turningofthetides 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    AlyseJay AlyseJay 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 18

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    There is no "I" in team,

    well there is no "U" in Team either. So I guess U and I aren't on the effing team...
    StuckInMyD4yDream StuckInMyD4yDream 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Seriously. Me before "50 first date" Yo bro

    let's go F##King burn something I'm bored. Me after. OMG that's real love. Why can't I find love that I'm bloated and everybody hates me.
    johnny811 johnny811 18-21, M Oct 7

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    Something is wrong with me today ,

    I woke up this morning no back pain , no joint ache , the pain in my knee is gone , my breathing is smooth , maybe I should consult a doctor .
    abosiemeka abosiemeka 26-30 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    The sign on the store reads "open seven days a

    week, accept Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday & Sunday"
    ringgo69 ringgo69 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I probably make way to many sarcastic comments

    than I should and everyone hates me for it. It's not my fault people are so stupid.
    earlyflyer earlyflyer 13-15, F 5 Responses Oct 5

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 12

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 10 Responses Jul 4

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    After reading about how everyone is lonely

    and in need of 'dirty talk', i thought I'd join in. Is there anyone in the UK ( female ) fancy a chin wag???
    looper14 looper14 36-40, M 2 days ago

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    Sarcasm, the lowest form of wit,

    The highest form of intelligence
    LittleLep LittleLep 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 19

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    Cwitmer19 Cwitmer19 13-15, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 11

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    Love sex if you come

    and chat with me I will ............
    anoreen anoreen 13-15, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    When people ask me dumb questions I can't help

    but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
    Liveandlovefree Liveandlovefree 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 46-50, F 4 Responses Feb 8

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    hitchi hitchi 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    SonicEXE SonicEXE 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 27

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    I'm really sarcastic

    and my parents get so mad at me. They say I'm rude and I brat. Sorry but I can't control it.
    AyeKail AyeKail 13-15, F 11 Responses Sep 3

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 21

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    Miracles happen every day.

    I haven't choked the stupid out of anyone today. See? Miracle.
    StuckInMyD4yDream StuckInMyD4yDream 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    People

    In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes stepped on my feet...and then she said," Sorry did that hurt?" I just wanna say, "not at all. I’m on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?" Ugh people =_='
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    I am 99% sarcasm 1% tears like everytime

    someone tells something stupid my sarcasm's at his best I can't help it
    elizsz elizsz 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    I communicate mostly through sarcasm,

    and it often gets me in trouble 😂 oh well, that who I am, so people can deal with it.
    broadwaygirl3583 broadwaygirl3583 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 7

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    You should always remember the good things

    about people ,no longer in your life have done.. But you should always write down the bad things they have done so that you do not forget, and when time comes you can return them back with interest..
    daevoobrak daevoobrak 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 8

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 8 Responses Jun 15

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4

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    Sandy You know the profile game gets shoved

    up your *** right All the Skype is done...since we never discussed it....your filed in.....
    internationalskypedone internationalskypedone 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 4

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    clamthatjams clamthatjams 22-25, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    justme1996 justme1996 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 5

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    TeddyboyUK72 TeddyboyUK72 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 8

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses a week ago

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