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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 64,458 People

    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    I am not looking forward to the zombie

    apocalypse. I am going to have my brains eaten. But you, you have nothing to worry about.
    AcousticAnne AcousticAnne 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    So this morning (too early

    for sarcasm. lol) My son was saying that we haven't talking to our online best (World of Warcraft) gaming friend in 3 months (we've met her in person a few times), so i'm guessing he was trying to tell me that she was online. so i say, "oh.. (mildly shocked). She's still alive...
    shimmeringrose shimmeringrose 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    *Sigh* You know, I really want to post

    something about me being sarcastic, but every way to do it has already been used. There is absolutely no way I can convey my own form of sarcastic wit while at the same time implementing my own new and personal method of doing it...
    andrewphysics andrewphysics 18-21, M Mar 21

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    I totally texted you JUST to work my thumbs out,

    of course I DON'T want a reply... DUHHH OH and by all means continue to ignore my text... -_-
    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 11

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    LarsMartinJ LarsMartinJ 13-15, M 3 days ago

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    MissKeela MissKeela 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 9

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    FutileSuperiority FutileSuperiority 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 18

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    "It is not economical to go to bed early to

    save the candles if the result is twins." ~ Chinese Proverb
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    Does anyone say that what you just said was

    sarcastic without you even realizing it? Seems to happen to me more than I try to actually be sarcastic ._.
    AnAnonymousPanda AnAnonymousPanda 16-17, M Mar 14

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 3

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    Just wanted to say that I really hate helping

    others and I'm not really interested in other peoples problems... Please comment and tell me all about your issues and I will do my utmost to make you feel worse and in turn you will realise that your initial problem really weren't all that bad 👍
    PokerShaun PokerShaun 31-35, M 12 Responses Mar 28

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    Sarcasm is like a second language to me.

    It can be good, or bad, depending on when or why I'm using it. I don't do it for negative reasons. Besides me thinking it's funny, I actually have a legitimate reason why I do it so much. It's simply a defense mechanisms for me. I use sarcasm (humor) to protect myself and my...
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 24

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    TrippingKitty TrippingKitty 26-30 Mar 25

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    Just because I'm quite people think I'm not

    sarcastic. Whenever I say something sarcastic (which happens quick frequently) they think I'm being serious! Like no! Joke! I'm joking!
    ljhenry ljhenry 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 11

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    Just having a "normal" conversation today at

    work and my coworker ask if I always have to be a d!ck. I didn't even realize I was being one.
    lilwoody75 lilwoody75 36-40, M 5 Responses Apr 9

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    I didn't get your text

    because I ignored it.
    refuse2bnormal refuse2bnormal 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 13

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    I hate it when people don't get my sarcasm,

    and say like :"really??" Or :"what? I don't get it... Is that supposed to be funny or something?" Just shut up okay!!! XD
    Naockey Naockey 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 12

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    When i say "suuure". It doesn't mean i agree.

    It either means "what do i have to say to make you shut up?" or "no, i don't think so". i think it's not my fault if people misunderstand. :)
    shimmeringrose shimmeringrose 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 4

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 12

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    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 7

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    I'm not a complete idiot.

    Some parts are still missing.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    I got a postcard from my gynecologist.

    It said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    I wish there was a way

    that we could italicize words on EP to show people that I am just being sarcastic...
    InsaneSusy InsaneSusy 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 9

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 25 Responses Feb 20

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    reese187 reese187 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 4

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 8 Responses Feb 26

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    My sarcasm is my shield

    and my biggest enemy
    MissMachine00 MissMachine00 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 9 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    I hope some people manage to figure out the

    real message im trying to convey. *Evil smirk*
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 18-21, F Mar 26

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