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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 70,813 People

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    Danteh11 Danteh11 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 10 Responses May 14

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    My sarcasm's not biting cuz my sister didn't

    get it a bit. I am more Chandler from Friends... Ha ha..... Love to use it on show offs to bring 'em down from their high horses and also on bitchy people to make them shut up..... Dig the looks on their faces when they realised they were trolled.... *evil laugh*
    CoraRobertson CoraRobertson 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    RedHwaiting RedHwaiting 18-21, F May 18

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    Im sarcastic a lot, and I find Americans do not

    get that humour much. I may be wrong but in my experience
    lucasss91 lucasss91 22-25, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    AfanOfbigNaturals AfanOfbigNaturals 46-50, M Jun 29

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    Ah, ok, now I know what all the fuss is about

    with these new profile layouts, yeah, they're a bit ugly and messy, I don't like all the silly pictures next to the story groups, and it just doesn't feel personal any more, not helped by the fact that the main thing that stands out when looking at a profile pic is the silly...
    Tinboxdoll Tinboxdoll 36-40, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was so proud when on Thanksgiving my six year

    old son used scarcasm properly for the first time. The 4 year old isn't there yet, but give her time. She is my mini-me after all.
    painterchick painterchick 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 22

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    I have to use sarcasm at work,

    because apparently, slapping the hell out of your co-workers is frowned upon by management.
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 16 Responses Jul 9

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    If my battary was low

    and you where on a life machine... i would plug you out and charge my phone.
    Tabithah Tabithah 22-25, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I am a legend when it comes to being sarcastic.

    ....I'll rev my sarcastic engine so fast that you 'll be left in the dust.I can rev it up to 7000 revs per minute.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 9 Responses Jun 29

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Yes, I know there's a special place in hell

    for me. It's called the throne.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 7 Responses Jun 4

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    itsjakedam2 itsjakedam2 22-25, M 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Story in the comments.

    I don't have time for EPAllie's **** today.
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Be careful how you word your messages to me.

    Or you might receive a sarcastic picture message in return.
    lonelytechie lonelytechie 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 7

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    my sarcasm level is so freaking high.

    like I go 0-100 real quick with my sarcasm. if you don't understand sarcasm, we can't be friends because I am the most sarcastic person you will ever meet.
    allthelove allthelove 16-17, F 6 Responses Jun 19

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 13 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    Do people get your sarcasm

    or you have to be sarcastic about being sarcastic?
    inexperiencedbloke inexperiencedbloke 31-35, M 8 Responses Jul 15

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 8 Responses Feb 26

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 25

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 13 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Skyebreeze Skyebreeze 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 23

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 23

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    JustKindaThere JustKindaThere 16-17, F Jul 7

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    Don't you just hate it

    when some fool thinks you're being serious...
    Calsi704 Calsi704 22-25, F 7 Responses Jul 2

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    when I'm sarcastic with a girl

    and she doesn't like it. ***** PLZZ LOL
    james6sydney james6sydney 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    Serendipitydoda Serendipitydoda 46-50, M 7 Responses Jul 26

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    I'm probably the most sarcastic person you'll

    meet, some people might get offended.
    nunezquinnad nunezquinnad 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 9

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    Sometimes it's fun being sarcastic.

    Sometimes it's a gift.. but other times it's curse. Oh well!!!!!
    VelcroB VelcroB 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 14

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 13 Responses Feb 12

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    And I agree that it's extremely rude.

    I was just told off in a group chat for being sarcastic, and confusing people about something and actually messing up their day. lol. They're just stupid... Not my fault.
    Storiesnotforthefaintofheart Storiesnotforthefaintofheart 18-21, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    This is literally my personality xD I'm just

    so sarcastic about everything. my friends generally say they don't know whether I'm being sarcastic or telling the truth. I guess they'll never know;) It's probably the only way I can properly deal with negativity.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses May 28

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    studies have shown that people

    who keep having birthdays live a lot longer...
    Serendipitydoda Serendipitydoda 46-50, M 5 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    If anything you should know about me I am a

    sucker for witty sarcasm Oh also my name is Abigail, 17 and new to this :)
    ababe98 ababe98 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 17

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    a few days ago my company arrange motivation

    training for marketing purposes but there are I m not comfortable because every one are in Sirius mood trainer invited to me stage he asked me some simple question but I not able to give answer I feel nervous that time. I have lots ideas in my mind but when I gone my client that...
    Sunilkh Sunilkh 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 16

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    NOTHING travels faster

    than the speed of stupid!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 27

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    If you have to explain

    after being sarcastic after being sarcastic, does that mean you were not sarcastic enough ?
    inexperiencedbloke inexperiencedbloke 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 16