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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 66,581 People

    NOTHING travels faster

    than the speed of stupid!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 27

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 13 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    This boy is class was trying to sound all cool

    by saying he sat at the "cool" table and I told him every one should dream big. He didn't even get it.
    hannahboo1614 hannahboo1614 16-17, F 1 Response May 5

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    It actually causes me physical pain to hold

    back a sarcastic/smart *** comment.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 5 Responses May 6

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    "If you dont want a sarcastic answer,

    dont ask a stupid question"
    LordJashin LordJashin 13-15, M 2 Responses May 4

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    Maerie Maerie 18-21, F May 6

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    "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself.

    ..I'll be more than happy to do it for you."
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    reeessa reeessa 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    "Hi whats ur name how old r u

    where r u from? Send some selfies? :)" Uh, no. I'm not here to be poorly flirted with by a desperate person like you.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 6 Responses May 16

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    RedHwaiting RedHwaiting 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses Apr 23

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses May 3

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 3

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    If you can fake sincerity .

    ..... You've got it made!
    thoughtfulheart thoughtfulheart 46-50, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    deleted deleted 26-30 29 Responses Apr 25

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    Lots of people at school think I'm too serious

    and rude. Only reason why I'm like that over there is because I need to learn and I don't like them. If I liked them, I'd be nice. But why should I be nice when they always pick on me? They don't deserve kindness if they're just gonna be an *** about it.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 3 Responses May 16

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    JackOLanterns JackOLanterns 18-21, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses May 6

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    It's gotten to the point

    where people around me don't know if I'm being serious. Even the teachers ask me to stop being sarcastic when I'm being totally serious.
    FallennDemonn FallennDemonn 13-15, M 2 Responses May 8

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    jenosaida jenosaida 16-17 1 Response May 16

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    I'm very sarcastic and I've gotten detention

    for it at least 5+ times because I use my sarcasm as a weapon against teachers, woops.
    BringMeTheSuicideSilence BringMeTheSuicideSilence 18-21, F 4 Responses May 4

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    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 10 Responses May 14

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    I can sarcastic sometimes

    and people get confused because they weren't sure why I was saying something that way. I'm just that good sometimes haha. Other times people just get annoyed with me...
    THISarcane THISarcane 18-21, F 1 Response May 3

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    Sarcasm **** up most my dates ,

    its probably the reason im still single
    othmanetazi othmanetazi 22-25, M 8 Responses May 14

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 7 Responses Feb 26

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    3st3ll3 3st3ll3 13-15, F 3 Responses May 5

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    I'm an ******* at times

    but I'm also sweet as pie
    constancemariefat constancemariefat 22-25, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 23 Responses Feb 20

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    yairdjudas999 yairdjudas999 16-17, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    an old boss of mine was talking about another

    manager in my company. he said "the other manager got real mad when I called him a dictator". I said "maybe he didn't hear the tator part"...
    HardLiquid HardLiquid 46-50, M 1 Response May 5

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    Yaird Yaird 16-17, M 7 Responses May 5

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    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 7

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    people take themselves too seriously,

    its fun to mess with them...
    Pack1213 Pack1213 18-21, M May 9

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