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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 62,067 People

    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 13 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    MsInvis MsInvis 46-50, F 10 Responses Feb 9

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    I've got two ***** left to give.

    Who should I waste them on?
    casualtyofwar casualtyofwar 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 13

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 9 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    Well if I'm not being sarcastic to you,

    then I don't like you. It's how I show my love! :-)
    Lovelyphoenix80 Lovelyphoenix80 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 4 Responses Feb 19

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    sarcastic beyond words,

    but in a good way...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 9

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    If I were given an option between my partner

    or my kids, I would choose my partner. We can make more kids anyways!
    itzeli itzeli 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I love school, going to class has to be one of

    the greatest things thought of. If class didn't exist I would probably kill myself out of sheer boredom for life since the I wouldn't be able to go to class. When I'm sitting in class i'm never ever ever bored and care about every little thing the teacher is saying! It's great...
    CanIBeAnon CanIBeAnon 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    athenalovlies athenalovlies 18-21, F 11 Responses May 7, 2014

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    this is why most people hate me

    but I don't mind if you can't take my sarcasm we won't get along anyway
    Mal33ha123 Mal33ha123 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    If I'm sarcastic with you,

    dont be offended. Its how I get through to people <3
    MaeMei MaeMei 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 6

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    CanYouHearTheSilence CanYouHearTheSilence 13-15, T 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 9 Responses Jan 10

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 4 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    People don't even understand sarcasm anymore.

    they take life so serious. sometimes you need to laugh even if sarcasm is hurting you inside. just stop being so grumpy. and laugh! !! (just don't laugh at me...) hahaha
    danna223 danna223 22-25, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    I'm often called a smart ***,

    so I remind people that it's better than being a dumb ***.
    TinyPenisFatMan TinyPenisFatMan 36-40, M 1 Response Feb 9

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 32 Responses Feb 20

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    A sense of humor few get.

    Damn it people. :)
    Turningofthetides Turningofthetides 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28, 2014

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    I feel like my sarcasm gets in the way

    when I'm talking to someone because it can get annoying
    BrookieBrooks BrookieBrooks 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 30

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    People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

    That comes from the people who don't understand it.
    Thinking0utLoud Thinking0utLoud 18-21, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    My mouth doesn't have a filter,

    but it also proves that I am more honest, loyal, and trustworthy. If you don't agree... F off.
    Lucca909 Lucca909 36-40, F 9 Responses Feb 8

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    My sarcasm has reached the point

    where my brain no longer filters my words. I just leave the person wondering if I like them, dislike them or am just plain crazy.
    TroubleTree TroubleTree 26-30, F 8 Responses Jan 30

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    It is my second language.

    ...beware all you sensitive individuals.
    Sweetchic5 Sweetchic5 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    silverstrike silverstrike 13-15, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am lonely and need a girlfriend

    so if there's a 14 year old girl out there I am here
    dubstepboy dubstepboy 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 4

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    Sarcastic people have a hard time having

    serious conversations. If they become easily irritated then they use their sarcasm. If they don't like you they'll probably be sarcastic. And sometimes people who are around you often think you're sarcastic when you're not.
    Zeilu Zeilu 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 28

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 13 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 5 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    When people ask me dumb questions I can't help

    but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
    Liveandlovefree Liveandlovefree 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I am not looking forward to the zombie

    apocalypse. I am going to have my brains eaten. But you, you have nothing to worry about.
    AcousticAnne AcousticAnne 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    FutileSuperiority FutileSuperiority 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    Is a reductio ad absurdium argument sarcastic?

    That's applying someone's idea to a situation where it's clearly nonesense (ie: Socratic method). It always sounds sarcastic when I do it, and Socrates' students were so irritating he accepted a death penalty for producing them.
    doghouseUK doghouseUK 41-45, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Me: *baking cookies with a friend* Brother:

    Are you making those cookies for us? Me: No. They're for the elephant in the yard.
    DrowningInRed DrowningInRed 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    They read you Cinderella,

    you hoped it will come true, that someday your prince charming will come rescue you. (#They also forgot to tell you prince charming is gay)
    AcousticAnne AcousticAnne 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 30

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    I rather have a woman with some meat on her

    bones than a skinny fit one. I enjoy a nice rump roast to chew upon.....
    AfanOfbigNaturals AfanOfbigNaturals 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I am like archer but not

    that much of a macho **** XD. Lmao
    ForTheFallen ForTheFallen 22-25, M Feb 13

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    angel61rainbow angel61rainbow 41-45, F Feb 20

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    When someone has annoyed me several times in a

    group chat on Whatsapp, I tend to send the "Please tell me more." meme instead of typing a sarcastic reply. I think I really need to quit doing that. Oh well.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 18

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    I was a few votes away from being crowned "Most

    sarcastic" in my high school superlatives. I always took that as people thought I was a bit bitchy. They wouldn't have been wrong.
    AjLeePunk AjLeePunk 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 13

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    I heart sarcasm, it's a great way to make your

    point. Done right it's funny as hell also, done wrong though this can lose you friends.
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 4 Responses Feb 10

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