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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 66,989 People

    Maerie Maerie 18-21, F May 6

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 13 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Yaird Yaird 16-17, M 7 Responses May 5

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    "If you dont want a sarcastic answer,

    dont ask a stupid question"
    LordJashin LordJashin 13-15, M 2 Responses May 4

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 13 Responses Feb 12

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    Extremely Its like a second language to me,

    one that I am very fluent in I dont know why I just am *shrugs*
    ireallylovetacos ireallylovetacos 26-30, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    yairdjudas999 yairdjudas999 16-17, M 1 Response May 20

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 3

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 7

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    I never learned sarcasm bcz I was always

    surrounded by people who were too serious and straightforward. at an age of eleven I got a friend that used to inflict humorous insults and get even. my first attempts on sarcasm were simply dumb but now I am better than most at sarcasm
    marianova marianova 13-15, F 3 Responses May 17

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    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 9 Responses May 14

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    This is literally my personality xD I'm just

    so sarcastic about everything. my friends generally say they don't know whether I'm being sarcastic or telling the truth. I guess they'll never know;) It's probably the only way I can properly deal with negativity.
    mariya03 mariya03 18-21, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    "Hi whats ur name how old r u

    where r u from? Send some selfies? :)" Uh, no. I'm not here to be poorly flirted with by a desperate person like you.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 6 Responses May 16

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 7 Responses Feb 26

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses May 6

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses Apr 23

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    everyone faces the life in own way.

    I face my insecurity with sarcasm, it's a sort of barrier. Everyone has own
    Enjoyyourlife Enjoyyourlife 26-30, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    lerikaar lerikaar 31-35, F 4 Responses May 10

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    I'm an ******* at times

    but I'm also sweet as pie
    constancemariefat constancemariefat 22-25, F 5 Responses May 21

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    NOTHING travels faster

    than the speed of stupid!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 27

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    If you can fake sincerity .

    ..... You've got it made!
    thoughtfulheart thoughtfulheart 46-50, F 3 Responses May 19

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    It's gotten to the point

    where people around me don't know if I'm being serious. Even the teachers ask me to stop being sarcastic when I'm being totally serious.
    FallennDemonn FallennDemonn 13-15, M 2 Responses May 8

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    Littl3Madam Littl3Madam 18-21, F 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    jenosaida jenosaida 16-17 1 Response May 16

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    "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself.

    ..I'll be more than happy to do it for you."
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M May 18

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    i am not just sarcastic.

    i am also also a skilled, professionally trained at pointing out the obvious.
    fallenzero fallenzero 22-25, M 4 Responses May 14

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    Aquarius255 Aquarius255 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    This boy is class was trying to sound all cool

    by saying he sat at the "cool" table and I told him every one should dream big. He didn't even get it.
    hannahboo1614 hannahboo1614 16-17, F 1 Response May 5

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    people take themselves too seriously,

    its fun to mess with them...
    Pack1213 Pack1213 18-21, M May 9

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    reeessa reeessa 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    3st3ll3 3st3ll3 13-15, F 3 Responses May 5

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    RedHwaiting RedHwaiting 18-21, F May 18

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 23 Responses Feb 20

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