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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 69,035 People

    Extremely Its like a second language to me,

    one that I am very fluent in I dont know why I just am *shrugs*
    ireallylovetacos ireallylovetacos 26-30, F 4 Responses May 28

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 8 Responses Feb 26

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 10 Responses May 14

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 23

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 25

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    That moment when I'm being sarcastic

    and my friends take it seriously and ignore me for the rest of the week :/
    HermioneRiddle HermioneRiddle 13-15, F 3 Responses May 29

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    Don't you just hate it

    when some fool thinks you're being serious...
    Calsi704 Calsi704 22-25, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Why do people feel the need to show you how

    witty they can be? I think it's about timing, not just about content
    positivevibes23 positivevibes23 36-40, M 5 Responses Jun 12

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    About an hour until my dentist appointment.

    I love that hell hole. I mean, it scares the **** out of me, drains my self confidence (the spoonful that I have) and makes me utterly vulnerable to whatever my mum wants the demons to do to me, but, hey... this is going to be ******* amazing!!! #FuckingTerrified. 😆😖
    Jaybird17 Jaybird17 16-17, F Jun 25

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    I was looking at face book

    and could not help notice that one of the more advertised and apparent journeys to being a successful black mother and career women starts with being a white chick-
    Cr8N Cr8N 31-35, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    I am a legend when it comes to being sarcastic.

    ....I'll rev my sarcastic engine so fast that you 'll be left in the dust.I can rev it up to 7000 revs per minute.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    everyone faces the life in own way.

    I face my insecurity with sarcasm, it's a sort of barrier. Everyone has own
    Enjoyyourlife Enjoyyourlife 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    "Hi whats ur name how old r u

    where r u from? Send some selfies? :)" Uh, no. I'm not here to be poorly flirted with by a desperate person like you.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 5 Responses May 16

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    There's a time to be sarcastic ,

    you have to know when to use it and when to hold your fire .
    Godofblackclouds Godofblackclouds 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 13

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 13 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Once I asked dat s'lut like " I love your

    outfit, did it come with a pole? "
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 3

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    I wrote a paper for English at 2am the other

    day. the next afternoon I read it and realized it sounds sarcastic as ****.... whoops
    messedupmemories messedupmemories 13-15, T 2 Responses Jun 2

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    No, I don't want to cut your toenails right now.

    I want your *** in bed. It's almost midnight
    Gwall1234 Gwall1234 36-40, F Jun 21

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    paulsmith345 paulsmith345 16-17, M 6 days ago

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    some people think I am sarcastic.

    The way I see it is that I'm only answering the question that you ask. if you don't want a sarcastic answer then think about the question that you are asking. just saying.
    peppit peppit 36-40, M 6 Responses Jun 2

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    This is literally my personality xD I'm just

    so sarcastic about everything. my friends generally say they don't know whether I'm being sarcastic or telling the truth. I guess they'll never know;) It's probably the only way I can properly deal with negativity.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses May 28

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    I make a joke and then make this really serious

    face afterwards, and my friends find it so strange and funny. I don't even do the face on purpose :P
    xcrownlessx xcrownlessx 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 11

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    yrnjojo yrnjojo 16-17, M 3 Responses Jun 5

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    I can be so sarcastic sometimes

    that people don't know how to take me , like if I'm being serious or not . I'm never usually serious
    dezi1124 dezi1124 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 11

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    sarcasm literally comes to me naturally

    and I could be talking to someone in a serious conversation and **** and say a sarcastic remark and they actually get hurt and I'm like sTAHP I WAS JOKING. but once I was with my friend and she was talking about how she failed a test and her parents were gonna be pissed and I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 9

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    Often when we are out my best friend has to

    inform people I've just met not to believe half of what I say.
    Kaisa22 Kaisa22 26-30, F 7 Responses Jun 21

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    AfanOfbigNaturals AfanOfbigNaturals 46-50, M 4 days ago

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    I love sarcasm! My friends often can't tell

    if I'm serious or not. It's probably because I make sarcastic comments and jokes with a straight (and sometimes bored) face.
    nitroxy nitroxy 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 21

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    reeessa reeessa 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    I like joking with people.

    Saying, "NO THAT FOOD WAS AWFUL" or "THAT WAS THE LAMEST SLEEPOVER EVER" and my most famous quote: "If I'm ever mean to my friends, I'm most likely joking." The MOST LIKELY part seems to stick out like a black cat in snow or something! And once this girl thought I actually...
    neonsweaters neonsweaters 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 11

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    My sarcasm's not biting cuz my sister didn't

    get it a bit. I am more Chandler from Friends... Ha ha..... Love to use it on show offs to bring 'em down from their high horses and also on bitchy people to make them shut up..... Dig the looks on their faces when they realised they were trolled.... *evil laugh*
    CoraRobertson CoraRobertson 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    This is one of my worst habits.

    Finns tend to have a somewhat dry and sarcastic humour. We like to make fun of (=mock) ourselves and our culture. I carry on doing it even when I’m talking with foreigners who don’t have the same insider’s insight about us as we do. And, as sarcasm doesn’t always...
    paddfot paddfot 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 12

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    was as big a smart assas anyone could tolerate

    I'm sure. there was a one liner in every situation. you had to pay attention or it would sail right over or **** you off. and I got a lot of him in me and loving it. people can be too sensitive sometimes and if I see that I'm on it. Till you laugh or punch me. ..thanks dad
    Kentex Kentex 56-60, M Jun 5