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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 52,252 People

    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 12

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    One of my favorite books "Today I Will Nourish

    My Inner Martyr." I believe my affirmation for the day will be "Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive." I'm just in that kind of mood.
    lovedaria lovedaria 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    "I'd be more apathetic

    if I were not so lethargic"
    cherryjar cherryjar 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    liveandloveat21 liveandloveat21 13-15, F Sep 14

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15, F 8 Responses Jun 15

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    My favorite response to anything I am tired of

    listening to is.. " hey- what"s red and hurts your teeth?" :: dramatic pause:: "A brick" The silence and confusion is so satisfying.
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 27

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    Sometimes I don't know

    whether to laugh at you or pity you.
    RagnarLodbrok RagnarLodbrok 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 10

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    Ever since first grade I had a tendency to push

    people's buttons and get in trouble... With that being said I will give you an example of my first trip to the principals office. Girl "stop messing with me!" Me "only if you say please" Girl "no seriously, cut it out!" Me "oh...*grabs a pair of scissors* with these?" Girl...
    Patrikios Patrikios 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 1

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    The Sarcastic Exit Line (SEL)

    One of my favourite things in life (not quite as good as sex but close) is the Sarcastic Exit Line (SEL). The scenario is irresistible: Imagine a group of people chatting about a particular person and everyone seems to be in total agreement about him/her and hopefully, it's a...
    screamqueen1994 screamqueen1994 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    When people ask me dumb questions I can't help

    but answer with a dumb answer ... Really obvious questions deserve to be shut down by a joke sorry lol that's who I am ✋☺️
    Liveandlovefree Liveandlovefree 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 11

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    So my little brother said we lost someone in

    the family.... I hope he found them I'd hate for them to be in the woods... Lol most of you are going to be a ***** but it's supposed to be funny
    jbGatyo jbGatyo 22-25, M 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Today at work, while a self-centered

    condescending man (my manager) was telling me to go clean the dishes in the back of the restaurant, I proceeded to shout "BUT MOM, I WANNA SEE THE PONIES!" Loudly. Customers were laughing as I strolled to the back of the store, and I received two tips. The other manager gave me...
    Nanders01 Nanders01 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 10 Responses Jul 10

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    I Am A Thief

    I am a thief.  I steal.  In fact, I've been stealing for a very long time.   I've evolved, as a thief.  My first thieving experiment didn't go so well.  I was in a Safeway (you know those right?  they're all the same, except the ones in Danville and rich...
    evanidul evanidul 31-35, M 7 Responses Jan 31, 2012

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    Sarcasm, the lowest form of wit,

    The highest form of intelligence
    LittleLep LittleLep 26-30, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    shmaves shmaves 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I am so sarcastic and people mistake that

    as me being mean when I'm actually really nice! ...just very sarcastic, witty, and snippy.
    Xo12345 Xo12345 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 15 Responses a week ago

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    Ice16 Ice16 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    I can honestly say your the one

    that gives me strength. If it wasn't for you I don't know how I would do it. Your the one that gives me that warm feeling inside every morning and if I didn't have you I would go crazy. I LOVE YOU COFFEE 😜
    coral90 coral90 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 5

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    sar·casm noun ˈsär-ˌka-zəm : the use of

    words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say especially in order to insult someone, to show irritation, or to be funny. I wish I knew how to be sarcastic.
    Luvhugeuptop Luvhugeuptop 46-50, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    athenalovlies athenalovlies 18-21, F 12 Responses May 7

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    Sarcasm is a destructive (and a

    so very prevalent!) element in relationships. Use sparingly and with caution.. Or never
    iamacurious1 iamacurious1 51-55, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am the most sarcastic ***** you will ever

    meet. If I like you then I won't be sarcastic but if I get pissed off I would be sarcastic. Technically I'm sarcastic ALL the time anyways haha :')
    QueenOfFire212 QueenOfFire212 26-30, F 5 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 11 Responses Jul 4

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    I am sarcastic!...it's a way of life

    that I enjoy...weather others get it or not I'm going to be me!
    MrBigg0599 MrBigg0599 31-35, M 5 Responses Sep 10

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    People

    In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes stepped on my feet...and then she said," Sorry did that hurt?" I just wanna say, "not at all. I’m on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?" Ugh people =_='
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    Stonerchick23 Stonerchick23 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 8

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    AlyseJay AlyseJay 16-17, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I will disrespect you by disrespecting you with

    a respectful voice with a smile on my face. Get it?
    germany100 germany100 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    The true art of sarcasm is

    when nobody can tell when you are serious or sarcastic. No, I'm not making fun of you. I totally like you..
    maddgirl maddgirl 18-21, F 12 Responses May 31

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    hitchi hitchi 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" Only

    for those who have no idea how to use it. Those who frequently say "um" and "y'know". No I don't know. Articulate yourself. Then you might get my sarcasm
    LillikoiSeed LillikoiSeed 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 11

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    Sarcastic Confession

    yes, i admit it.  i am sarcastic ... but only when i'm awake. for those of you who believe sarcasm is cruel or can get out of hand all i have to say is ... i imagine, in all reality, that sarcasm is, for the most part, a defense mechanism.  not only that but, ...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 15 Responses May 25, 2007

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    I'm really sarcastic

    and my parents get so mad at me. They say I'm rude and I brat. Sorry but I can't control it.
    AyeKail AyeKail 13-15, F 11 Responses Sep 3

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    I can't help it, it just comes naturally.

    When I talk it slips out, especially when I feel awkward.
    Australianchinchilla Australianchinchilla 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 3

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    Sarcasm is indirect and occurs at the expense

    of others. I'm not going to be sarcastic anymore. Am I just being sarcastic?
    kraken45 kraken45 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 12

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    ImmortalRussian ImmortalRussian 18-21, M 3 Responses May 28

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    I was, and still am,

    such a horrible person, That I believe I am the best friend you can ever want... I hat and love myself. I may be a smeagol...
    casualtyofwar casualtyofwar 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 2

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    So

    one day I stopped being sarcastic. It was horrible.
    herotherself herotherself 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    Which has been a topic of argument in my life

    ever since I was old enough to try it. My father thought it was me misbehaving, being rude and disrespecting him. He didn't like it, simply. I tried to hold my tongue, but I would eventually let something slip. He would tap on the table and warn me to stop. My mother always...
    NicoleNotsoRichie NicoleNotsoRichie 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 7

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 21

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    rougewolf55555 rougewolf55555 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    EmbraceForever EmbraceForever 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 27

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    The grass is always greener WHEN SOMEONE ISN'T

    ALWAYS NAGGING YOU TO CUT IT.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Some people just don't get it !

    My sarcasm comes out of love not out of spite
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses a week ago

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    I think you should meet my friend,

    **** Sherlock. First name, No.
    JohnBobMac JohnBobMac 16-17, T 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Thank You Lord I will not have to see the Lairs,

    Traitor, Ungrateful, Hypocrite here after. I thank you they will not see my Prophet. They will not shine in your Light. Their heart will be DARKER than Solar Eclipse.
    BlueMah BlueMah 46-50, M Sep 1

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