sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy.
But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
to have fun.
You don't need running shoes to run but it fucken helps.
everyone assumes I'm mean, yet that's besides the point. sarcasm isn't mean it's just a way of interaction. you assume too much and get hurt from your own conclusion you're jumping to.
or do they get up early every morning and practice?
encouragement. I feel like saying "Shut up I know I can do it, I just don't want to."
and I had to share it....some times even the heavens say **** you
I'm all peace, love and go **** yourself.
I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
if I'm being sarcastic or I'm just a *****!
Especially frozen into cubes and completely surrounded by vodka.
I automatically think "So take off all your clothes."
but my fucket list is a mile long.
that could have been wine.
I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
.. Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies
until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm.
because it's illegal to kill them"
I'm just gonna sit down like it's warm.
that I don't put enough gas in my car when we go out to eat. So I went to a Gas Station and we ate snacks there. 2 birds with 1 stone. #GasStationDating
It's called the throne.
your man, just smile really big and ask "Notice anything different?"
"I'm so ******* wet, give it to me now!"
She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.
suffered from insanity. I replied No, we all seem to enjoy it.
tubes of hemorrhoid cream?
I touch myself"... which translates to I rub my temples, because you give me a fukcing migraine.
before I send them, because I rarely say something that's not hilarious.
and problems to feel better about mine.
...notice how all women's problems start with Men
who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
because thou has ****** up before too.
What's the best one liner you have used to shut someone down?
because apparently, slapping the hell out of your co-workers is frowned upon by management.
after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.
*the demon possessing my body blushes*