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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 63,580 People

    TrippingKitty TrippingKitty 26-30 4 days ago

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    *Sigh* You know, I really want to post

    something about me being sarcastic, but every way to do it has already been used. There is absolutely no way I can convey my own form of sarcastic wit while at the same time implementing my own new and personal method of doing it...
    andrewphysics andrewphysics 18-21, M Mar 21

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    So this morning (too early

    for sarcasm. lol) My son was saying that we haven't talking to our online best (World of Warcraft) gaming friend in 3 months (we've met her in person a few times), so i'm guessing he was trying to tell me that she was online. so i say, "oh.. (mildly shocked). She's still alive...
    shimmeringrose shimmeringrose 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    FutileSuperiority FutileSuperiority 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    Thankfully women don't make up things in their

    heads that don't exist and get mad over it. That would be awkward.
    IDCFUKK IDCFUKK 18-21, M 8 Responses Feb 26

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    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 7

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    I'm not a complete idiot.

    Some parts are still missing.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I got a postcard from my gynecologist.

    It said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    I didn't get your text

    because I ignored it.
    refuse2bnormal refuse2bnormal 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 13

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    "Some people are alive simply

    because it's illegal to kill them"
    moonblaze moonblaze 22-25, F 13 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    theyidolozebee theyidolozebee 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    Just wanted to say that I really hate helping

    others and I'm not really interested in other peoples problems... Please comment and tell me all about your issues and I will do my utmost to make you feel worse and in turn you will realise that your initial problem really weren't all that bad 👍
    PokerShaun PokerShaun 31-35, M 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    If my sarcasm bothers anyone,

    please let me know and I'll stop.
    angeIcum angeIcum 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 14

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    Youcanthandlemyusername Youcanthandlemyusername 22-25, M Mar 2

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 12

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    It is my second language.

    ...beware all you sensitive individuals.
    Sweetchic5 Sweetchic5 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    trismason trismason 13-15, F Mar 3

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    Does anyone say that what you just said was

    sarcastic without you even realizing it? Seems to happen to me more than I try to actually be sarcastic ._.
    AnAnonymousPanda AnAnonymousPanda 16-17, M Mar 14

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    Sarcasm is like a second language to me.

    It can be good, or bad, depending on when or why I'm using it. I don't do it for negative reasons. Besides me thinking it's funny, I actually have a legitimate reason why I do it so much. It's simply a defense mechanisms for me. I use sarcasm (humor) to protect myself and my...
    Scoodaloop Scoodaloop 18-21, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 9 Responses Jan 10

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    My sarcasm is my shield

    and my biggest enemy
    MissMachine00 MissMachine00 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    CanYouHearTheSilence CanYouHearTheSilence 13-15, T 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    People don't even understand sarcasm anymore.

    they take life so serious. sometimes you need to laugh even if sarcasm is hurting you inside. just stop being so grumpy. and laugh! !! (just don't laugh at me...) hahaha
    danna223 danna223 22-25, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 3

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    Just because I'm quite people think I'm not

    sarcastic. Whenever I say something sarcastic (which happens quick frequently) they think I'm being serious! Like no! Joke! I'm joking!
    ljhenry ljhenry 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 11

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    I am not looking forward to the zombie

    apocalypse. I am going to have my brains eaten. But you, you have nothing to worry about.
    AcousticAnne AcousticAnne 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    You say it in a sarcastic way,

    they cant handle it. And if you dont want it to be sarcastic, they think you're being sarcastic. Seriously?
    Pwriingles Pwriingles 18-21, F 9 Responses Mar 10

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    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 18

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    I hope some people manage to figure out the

    real message im trying to convey. *Evil smirk*
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    reese187 reese187 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 4

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 28 Responses Feb 20

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    scrimshaw scrimshaw 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 13

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