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I Am Sarcastic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 64,973 People

    I got a postcard from my gynecologist.

    It said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    *Sigh* You know, I really want to post

    something about me being sarcastic, but every way to do it has already been used. There is absolutely no way I can convey my own form of sarcastic wit while at the same time implementing my own new and personal method of doing it...
    andrewphysics andrewphysics 18-21, M Mar 21

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    The problem with being very sarcastic is

    that through text/computer, it can go unnoticed a lot of times. I try to tone it down when texting but in person, i love being sarcastic
    sammy0216 sammy0216 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    I use sarcasm because flat out telling you

    that you're a ******* moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon and i was raised better than that
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    No matter how smart you think you are,

    sarcasm is something everybody can enjoy. But especially the ones who are smarter than you.
    Angelcum Angelcum 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 20

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    Person: *washes car* Neighbour: Are you washing

    your car? Person: No, i'm watering it so it'll grow in to a bus.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    Sarcasm is needed when: 1.

    People point at their wrist and ask what the time is. It's not as if I point at my crotch and ask where the toilet is. 2. People say, "oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too" - well, obviously! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 3. People say, "can I ask you a...
    ThatAwkwardPanda ThatAwkwardPanda 13-15 6 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses a week ago

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    One good thing about being 50 is

    that the Internet wasn't around when I was young and did stupid things.
    cheersfromaz cheersfromaz 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    Would one say I'm always a smartass?

    I don't think so...sometimes I sleep.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 6 Responses Apr 7

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    People don't even understand sarcasm anymore.

    they take life so serious. sometimes you need to laugh even if sarcasm is hurting you inside. just stop being so grumpy. and laugh! !! (just don't laugh at me...) hahaha
    danna223 danna223 22-25, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    My sarcasm is my shield

    and my biggest enemy
    MissMachine00 MissMachine00 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    You don't like my sarcasm?

    Well I don't like your stupid.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    What can I say? I'm English,

    we're known for being sarcastic bastards. Don't like it? Get gone! xD
    IBickers IBickers 18-21, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I hope some people manage to figure out the

    real message im trying to convey. *Evil smirk*
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 18-21, F Mar 26

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    Especially when people try to insult me by

    calling me fat. "Really? I'm fat? I had no idea! Is THAT why I can't see my feet when I look down? I'm SO glad you told me. I never would've know I was fat without your help."
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Boy: Want to go to the cinema?

    Girl: To see a movie? Boy: No, to count the seats.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    It is my second language.

    ...beware all you sensitive individuals.
    Sweetchic5 Sweetchic5 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    I wish there was a way

    that we could italicize words on EP to show people that I am just being sarcastic...
    InsaneSusy InsaneSusy 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 9

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    Just having a "normal" conversation today at

    work and my coworker ask if I always have to be a d!ck. I didn't even realize I was being one.
    lilwoody75 lilwoody75 36-40, M 5 Responses Apr 9

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    and boo to the people

    who dont get your sarcasm. its too sarcastic for them to understand
    shrid shrid 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    If I ever say "Oh wow" to you,

    it doesn't mean I'm impressed. It means you're stupid.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 3

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    Are some people actually born stupid,

    or do they get up early every morning and practice?
    Littl3Madam Littl3Madam 18-21, F 39 Responses 1 day ago

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    Seriously, I'm fine. No,

    I'm serious, this facial expression does not mean I am stabbing you mentally. What? Me? Want to kill like everyone today? Nah, I'm just overjoyed to see you
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 19

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    ...because it's easier

    than saying all the things I'd really like to say.
    juniper12 juniper12 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    I tend to be sarcastic,

    and most people think it's pretty funny. The fun thing about sarcasm is you can slip a little "unwelcome" truth into your conversation and people just think you are being funny when in actuality, you meant what you said! =)
    WalkAwayFromTheSun WalkAwayFromTheSun 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    storyteller4u2 storyteller4u2 51-55, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    People say: "oh you're my everything.

    " "You're all I need." "I couldn't live without you." In school they taught me that i couldn't live without: Shelter. Water. Food. Oxygen. Ect. My text book never mentioned that guy I liked in 6th period. I'm pretty sure you can still survive without having someone "love" you...
    BrokenInnocence BrokenInnocence 13-15, F 9 Responses Jan 10

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    megamd megamd 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Go ahead and tell me everything wrong with me.

    My diet, my sense of humor, my habits and short comings. I am listening ever so intently.
    FutileSuperiority FutileSuperiority 22-25 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am sarcastic and proud :P who doesn't loves

    to have a special ability to insult idiots without them realizing :D
    beckygg beckygg 18-21, F 9 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    LOL

    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 10, 2014

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    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    Lividstone Lividstone 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Oh, I'm sorry I washed your TITANIUM scissors

    in the dish washer. Maybe next time it'll be your Mac book. Then we can argue. Stfu.
    LifeLacksLuster LifeLacksLuster 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    If my sarcasm bothers anyone,

    please let me know and I'll stop.
    angeIcum angeIcum 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 14

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    EmoGirl286 EmoGirl286 13-15, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    My friend asked me if I had a bathroom,

    I replied, "nope we **** in the corner"
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    LarsMartinJ LarsMartinJ 13-15, M Apr 15

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    scrimshaw scrimshaw 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 13

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    And totally dig people

    who understand when I'm being that way and give it to me right back. Quick wit is really sexy on anyone.
    MissCocoGr MissCocoGr 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 12

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    Does anyone say that what you just said was

    sarcastic without you even realizing it? Seems to happen to me more than I try to actually be sarcastic ._.
    AnAnonymousPanda AnAnonymousPanda 16-17, M Mar 14

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    theyidolozebee theyidolozebee 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 23

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    Lol I'm a sarcastic *****.

    .. I can't help what I am, sometimes it gets on people's nerves
    gonebeyondrepair gonebeyondrepair 18-21, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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