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I Am Scared of Being Happy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 37 People

    Does This Make Any Sense, Not to Me.

    As much as I hate being miserable, being happy scares the shat out of me.  If I'm miserable, I don't have further to fall.   But most of the time when I'm happy, it's taken away from me.  So, I struggle to be contented and put on the best happy facade I can...
    BlasphemousAngel BlasphemousAngel 31-35, M 1 Response May 17, 2009

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    what goes up must come down.

    the higher you get the harder the fall. and that terrifies me.
    bonedecay bonedecay 13-15, F Aug 11

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    I Used To Love Flying Kites.

    It seems the more i look forward to something, the more i have to worry about it not happening. Whenever i get excited for something, i feel guilty about being happy, i havent done anything to feel guilty about though. i noticed it when the other day, i thought about how i...
    Dandelion11 Dandelion11 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 22, 2010

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    I Don't Deserve It

    I'm not writing this for anyone's pity, I'm writing it because it's simply the truth. Even though I want to be happy, GENUINELY happy, every time I get close to feeling so, I get plagued with memories of how I've caused my loved ones so much pain with all of the stupid things I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Travel magazines finally show up in the mailbox...that's a whole other kind of happy!
    atikin atikin 18-21, F Aug 8

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    I have been told this as it seems I always bring up sad issues for no apparent reason, even if it wasn't a big deal or even that sad. I do catch myself feeling like I'm purposely...
    lilyranger90 lilyranger90 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 9

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    There is no want? You either are or your not happy?You and you alone decide this state of mind or existence.The aging process has brought me to this very simple realization.It's...
    bignatbreastluver bignatbreastluver 46-50, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I feel being happy is a choice! You are what you want to be. I know life gets hard but there's nothing stopping you from being happy except for your self! It's okay to be sad...
    Aiden28 Aiden28 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    “There are probably several keys to intermittent happiness. You can only be a certain level of happiness for so long. Happiness is a very intangible thing. People have more of a...
    rabblemagic rabblemagic 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Being happy is one of the most important things in life :)
    Rachael95 Rachael95 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 31

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    My anxiety keeps me from thinking that everything is going to be okay. It keeps me from being happy, it has me living in fear everyday.
    kierstenmarie8 kierstenmarie8 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 31

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    being happy is like smelling fresh cut grass after heavy downpour. Raindrops keep falling on my head Just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed Nothing seems to fit Oh...
    falinasd falinasd 36-40, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Can't think of a time in my life when I've been happy and I'm 21. I am average looking, fairly quite but paranoid in front people who are popular or better looking then me...
    sporadicdark sporadicdark 22-25, M Aug 16

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    This month is my birthmonth and im awful at bdays, i mean terrible, theyve always been a sad time for me... This year im really getting depressed about it... Ive never really felt...
    Contrarthodox Contrarthodox 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I've always known the feeling of claustrophobia ever since I was young. When I was a young boy If I was to be say closed in cupboard for a few seconds by my big sister I would get...
    bananaman1uk bananaman1uk 26-30, M Aug 3

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    Ok so my weight kind of always been a thing that I wasn't really happy with. I like to stay within a certain range and for the most part I do. I'll go through a phase where I will...
    Ashley1421 Ashley1421 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    I was thinking about leaving EP again, so that I can focus on my writing projects, without distracting myself on here so much. However, something happened tonight that changed my...
    FrozenGuy FrozenGuy 51-55, M 3 Responses Aug 16

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    I honestly am really terrified of my father. I never really have been too close with him ever since I was little and up until now. my father doesn't hit me or abuse me, (although...
    heythereandrea heythereandrea 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 4

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    Well I'm not scared of snakes as an animal I think that people aren't scared of snakes they are just afraid of being bit by them, just like how people say they're afraid of Heights...
    everythingwillbealright everythingwillbealright 13-15, F Aug 3

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    I'm a guy so it been hard dealing with being a victim of rape. I'm also straight which makes it a million times worse in my head to deal with. Only my parents and my therapist know...
    andrew20142014 andrew20142014 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 12

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    I'm so scared of the dark! I can't even watch a movie where there is people in the dark without being scared lol
    Mikesmithg1 Mikesmithg1 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 12

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    My boyfriend had open heart surgery 3 years ago. 2 years ago he suffered 2 strokes, most likely a complication of the surgery. Since then, I am constantly scared when I can't get...
    saralu923 saralu923 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    I've been best friends with someone for a couple years now. It doesn't seem like long, but it feels like I've known her forever. She has her faults, and I have mine, but she's like...
    7katelyn1 7katelyn1 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    Before i was a depressed little coward soul, i was a happier person, i always used to smile and i believed in goodness, that believe is fading as i am growing up. I don't get it...
    RGMJ RGMJ 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 8

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    I cannot exist without him. I don't think he can exist without me either. The problem is he doesn't even feel like existing. I don't want him to feel like a burden on me. His...
    WingsofTime WingsofTime 22-25, F Aug 10

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    what if I never find the life I want for myself? What if I'm always lost and never find a sense of purpose or belonging. I'm really scared of being a failure and being lost for the...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 22

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    I made a post the other day talking about a really close friend and how he kisses me for the first time and I was so happy except... Now I feel like things have changed, he called...
    lifeisnottoobad lifeisnottoobad 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm afraid of being me, i'm always afraid of getting rejected , i'm afraid that no one will like me, i'm afraid they will judge me and hate me i'm scared to go somewhere because of...
    ActuallyGrace ActuallyGrace 13-15, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I admit my phobia is completely irrational and for no apparent reason... But the pure terror I process when in contact with a spider is real! Spider on the doorway? No way will I...
    ChloeMaay ChloeMaay 18-21, F Jul 31

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    Just about an hour ago, there's a child that was hit and run near our neighborhood. I didn't have the courage to even look because I was scared. I turned away on that scene but I...
    gwenllian gwenllian 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    school starts in 5 weeks and i am scared, almost terified to go to school again .. my class is horible. There are about 22 people of which 12 are 'The popular group' and they do...
    HelloNovaa HelloNovaa 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 7

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    I can't sleep. I can't get over the pain of knowing my partner is depressed and is pushing me away. I don't know what else to do. I so desperately want to feel loved. I need to...
    WingsofTime WingsofTime 22-25, F Aug 11

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    I am scared of myself. My fear of being along once again. My insomnia just keeps getting worse as I imagine pictures of skeletons and my body disappearing inch by inch every second...
    Ashbarg Ashbarg 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    I wanted to see my gf today and take the train since she lives 3 hrs away. Im not allowed to see her every weekend. Thats the rule my parents made since we always got into a fight...
    Smartyrosy Smartyrosy 18-21, F Aug 17

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      My grandmother told me she would be willing to disown me for falling in love with a black man. This is the most extreme and traumatic example of how she treats me on a...
    twiztedrune twiztedrune 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    Met when I was 17 moved in with him practically straight away. We moved into our own place after a year and have both been through uni and had several jobs after. We've been...
    Bpdomg Bpdomg 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I used to be scared f rain when I was little because they brought in a dark atmosphere but now I like them if they're alone. I am scared of thunderstorms m, especially severe ones...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Aug 5

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    I hate myself enough to commit suicide..But at the same time I know I finally have so much to live for. I can have a wonderful time while I am out with friends, but I fall apart...
    SaphiraJane SaphiraJane 16-17, F Aug 14

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    Okay first off, I'm not homeless poor but I also struggle. I'm still in high school, and I don't have a job at the time being. I feel like expressing myself right now, so if I...
    sapphireveins sapphireveins 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    i am scared to express my thoughts and feelings because evrybody will bash me . i am scared to express my feelings and thoughts because none will understand me and i am scared to...
    Moonthesolitary Moonthesolitary 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    I don't get bullied, I have a lot of really good friends, I don't give a crap about what people care about me, and I love all of my classes. I just don't know why i'm scared to go...
    alice4114 alice4114 13-15, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Were we close to being murdered? We will never know. If we were caught that could have been a likely outcome. Muzz and I had left on foot from our campsite at a lay-by beside a...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 1 Response Aug 4

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    I feel guilty for being alive. I feel guilty for being able to breath and walk and talk. I feel guilty for ruining my parents lives by being born. I wish they never met and got...
    sewshow sewshow 18-21 Aug 6

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    I am a self destructor Any chance of happiness, I ruin. Anyone who loves me, I hurt. This isn't something I do on purpose, but I always set the wheels in motion. Then just...
    emzyxj emzyxj 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 11

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    As an introvert, I enjoy being alone sometimes. Being around people for long periods of time can be quite exhausting. I like having time to myself to reflect on things and be alone...
    Sapphire14 Sapphire14 18-21, F Aug 13

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    I keep being ignored by people around me whether in skul ,home or public .I used to be able to talk cheerfully around ppl but ,after being ignored many times i became scared and...
    Appolo123 Appolo123 13-15, M Aug 14

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    I am so very happy with the direction my life is going now. Finally it feels like everything is falling into place for me! There was a time in my life where everything fell apart...
    mamabutterfly mamabutterfly 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 16