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I Am Screaming In Pain Under This Smile

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    I Am Screaming In Pain Under This Smile

    most of the times i will be smilling not because i will be happy but i hide my pain under the smile.i wish i could have a real smile without any pain
    lucreatia lucreatia 22-25 1 Response Mar 13, 2012

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    I know you pretend I'm not anymore.

    ..you treat me like a stranger...but i miss you...we had it all...but you let me fall...i miss you...maybe i just miss the feeling of seeing the one i love everyday. The feeling of lips touching mine...arms around me...i was safe. Being hand in hand that was the best...i was safe...
    LaBellaRosaLuna LaBellaRosaLuna 18-21, F Jan 9

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    Scream No One Will Hear You

    Smile no one will see what your hiding behind it laugh no one will know what your really thinking giggle pretend your ok and no one will think different. But im not ok I wanna scream and cry I want someone to know how I feel I want them to tell me it'll be ok even if I dont...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 30, 2010

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    Laugh , Laugh , Laugh

    The saying goes 'If you dont laugh you'll cry" thats been my life since , I honestly dont remember , I laugh alot lately and its not real laughter either you dont know how much I wish it was , My friend said to me yesterday "Hope your laugh has changed , its so different then it...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhj!

    !!!!! I hate my job!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh life sucks right now!!!! Just venting
    IloveLife14 IloveLife14 31-35, F Jan 12

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    Unable To Breathe

    i am sick of this constant struggle just to breathe. I am sick of the constant feeling of wanting to scream until my voice is hoarse and my throat is a bloody mess. Sometimes i wish i could just scream while i am in a big group of people and just leave. I dont know why i even try...
    flyingabyss flyingabyss 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 13, 2011

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    AllLoveXOXO AllLoveXOXO 18-21, M Feb 16

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    Broken, Crushed, And Dead

    This guy and I...we were gonna be together. He said he'd fight for me and stay with me...he loved me, I loved him. Idk what I did wrong...but he told me last night he didn't love me like that. "We can still be friends though!!"-him...yea, right. That's like someone killing my dog...
    TrappedAbs TrappedAbs 18-21, F Jul 28, 2013

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    A Smile On The Outside....

    This smile on my face has been painted on. The pain underneathe is what I am feeling. This Smile is to lead you on That everything is okay, and that the smile is what I am feeling.   However, can you see past the smile Try looking into my eyes Is that a real...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 17, 2010

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    New Beginnings

    I just want the injustice to end. We have all the documented proof. There is no need for them to continue to fight. They have already lost and the war has barely begun. Three years is long enough. It is time for justice to prevail. We are ready to move on to new beginnings. We...
    Legalities Legalities 46-50, F Aug 3, 2010

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    I Dont Know What To Do Anymore :( Someone Please Help...

    Anxiety. One seven letter word that ruins everything for me. That discusting feeling in my stomach, that feeling that means i need to cut. As soon as I start to bleed some of that pain just pours out with my blood and the more I cut the better it feels untill next time when i...
    SomeonePleaseHelpMe SomeonePleaseHelpMe 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    Facing The World

    wipe the tears, put the smile on, and get ready to face the world :P that's me everyday, but it's always better when someone's there to talk to.... but i'm alone again ^^ guess that's just the way things are supposed to be.... I sometimes find someone to talk to, but they always...
    turtlefudgecakes turtlefudgecakes 18-21, F 2 Responses May 22, 2011

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    F*cking Sick Of Everything...

       I am really sick of all the bullshit... Some "friends" of mine are always taking me down >_< They always judge me for what I like, for what I do, for what I listen to, for what I watch, etc, and they sometimes start playing bad jokes on me. The thing is, it has always been...
    Nervly Nervly 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    They Can't Understand

    I've accepted that life is pain a long time ago. I figured that my family doesn't need any of the pain that I let myself carry. Somehow it feels right that they should live as close to paradise as possible. So every single thing in the world hurts me. I hate it the same way a...
    hurts2much hurts2much 18-21, F Aug 6, 2010

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    Just...

    ...sometimes. I'm often ready to burst into tears under this smile, and sometimes I do. I once saw God, Himself, as I was walking home back when I lived in my parents' house eight miles from here and I recall every detail of His miracle. I stopped across the street when I...
    eleanorssong eleanorssong 56-60, F Nov 3, 2011

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    Pain

    I hide my pain behind a smile! I go around smiling and I seem so happy but I'm actually dying inside! I cut myself, and beat myself up, and i seem ok! Tht smile I give everyone! It's fake and forced! I say I'm fine when im not so I don't become a bother or a burden! I've always...
    Ellias95 Ellias95 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2013

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    Then There Is Me...

    There is me. I am the strong one. Depend on me. Look to me. Talk to me. My advice is sound. Nay, stellar. I never panic or raise my voice. My temperament is stoic, as a lighthouse in a storm. You won’t see me lose it with the antagonists. Won’t see me cry with the...
    SecretBrokenDoll SecretBrokenDoll 36-40, F 13 Responses Oct 9, 2011

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    Just A Poem...

    This smile on my face has been painted on. The pain underneathe is what I am feeling. This Smile is to lead you on That everything is okay, and that the smile is what I am feeling.   However, can you see past the smile Try looking into my eyes Is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 16, 2010

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    I'll be honest, I can't

    even fake the smile anymore......
    misslonelyplanet misslonelyplanet 31-35, F Apr 5

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    Cleansed

    I was scrubbed clean There was nothing left My dignity gone My body wrecked I angered her With what he did She set it up And then she hid Behind excuses She made for them Animals fed on me Time and again We had a name For this game we played So none would know What was taken...
    SecretBrokenDoll SecretBrokenDoll 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 24, 2012

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    So long.... So long in agony.

    I play the clown for all to see. I smile therefore I must be ok. No one cares that the clown is dying inside. But that's ok .... My friends need a clown and I do anything for them. It's ok, just so they remember me when they move on.
    popuptarget popuptarget 46-50, M Mar 8

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    Behind My Smile..

    Just look will you, look deep inside of me and see that this stupid smile is merely a mask to over up this pain i hold inside. Inside my heart is just about holding it together, its been broke so many times. Please hold me tight because i need to cry and let all this pain out i...
    BrokenAngel35 BrokenAngel35 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2013

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    Lets Play Pretend

    I smile I laugh and giggle I pretend that every things fine when no one knows that I'm crying and screaming underneath that I'm in so much pain and all I can do is smile and I hope someone will realize how much pain I'm in but how will that happen if I keep playing pretend...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Feb 16, 2010

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    Little Girls Room

    I've said a lot somewhere else about this. If I have to be somewhere public it is so hard to not look strained. In my head I'm screaming and have this intense overpowering feeling I need to flee. Panic attack I'm told. I would hide in the bathroom stall for as long as I could...
    2rustno1 2rustno1 36-40 2 Responses Mar 29, 2012

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    Nobody ever sees me faking a smile.

    .. They think its all true. They're wrong. Behind this smile is a girl broken as if she was stabbed bit by bit by the people around her. They make sudden judgements, it makes me want to scream at them. Tell them that they've always been wrong and ask them why they ever judge...
    Amature14 Amature14 13-15, F Mar 18

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    I Dont Understand It.

    My lifes getting better but yet I still wanna scream! I still have to force a smile on my face everyday! I want to scream in fustration that others dont understand me!!! But I smile happily and laugh and though you wont ever see it, Im screaming.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 20, 2010

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    Practice made perfect

    when I'm forced into keeping others from seeing what's behind my smile
    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Always Pretend I Am Fine....

    When I am anything but. I have a horrible homelife and have a difficult relationship with both my parents, particularly my mother. My job with kids is good for me but also incredibly stressful at times. After a difficult day, all I want is for someone to talk to, someone who will...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F Oct 9, 2011

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    Big Smiles -- People confuse me.

    I put on a front, a bubbly, happy young adult with all the opportunities in the world before her, a young woman who is grateful for-- sorry, this is all a cheap front. I mirror people, show them what they want because I know the truth they will not be able to handle. I laugh...
    CharlotteKitten CharlotteKitten 18-21, T Dec 20, 2013

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    What? Why?

    Well my best friend visited. Also the best friend of the girl I love. Apparently she feels really strong feelings for him. WHAT? **** my life. Then she screams at me for trying to understand and be her friend instead of being unobjective and being the guy who loves her. I'm just...
    Iceman75 Iceman75 18-21, M Nov 5, 2013

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    Yes I Am...

    This smile on my face has been painted on. The pain underneathe is what I am feeling. This Smile is to lead you on That everything is okay, and that the smile is what I am feeling.   However, can you see past the smile Try looking into my eyes Is that a real...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 19, 2010

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    Look At My Smile And Ignore The Running Mascara

    I had been crying all morning as soon as a got to school the mascras wiped away and the smiles put on. "are you ok?" Im fine how can so many lies be in two small words how can so much pain be masked with those words and a simple smile. and if I let you in you tell me im a lier...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    No One Notices

    It's amazing that no one can see under the false smile now a days. I grin, smile, and laugh with all of my friends, but I feel it clawing to escape. That need to scream to everyone in earshot "Can't you people see that I still struggle not to cut?!?!?! Can't you see that I wish I...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 14, 2011

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    Haters

    Under this sarcastic, silly smile I am screaming.  I am screaming,"HELP ME!  SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!  WHY AM I ALONE?  WHAT DID I DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU HATE ME?"  I try to be as friendly and nice as possible.  I don't know where I go wrong.  I...
    BBUDS BBUDS 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    It's amazing what you can hide from just putting on a smile, The thoughts inside your brain they stay there for a while, The numbness and the pain only leads to the shame, The...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 6

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    My couch. Last lazy day off. Few cars passing. Someone’s playing salsa in the distance. My mom and sisters keep calling. Let it go to voicemail. They won't understand. I wonder...
    esmeraldream esmeraldream 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    When I hide people don't bother to look for me. I hide to well, better if I don't want to be found. I feel alone. I feel like I am hiding all the time behind this expressionless...
    Invisiblegirl07 Invisiblegirl07 13-15, F Apr 7

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    Even though there are times where my life seems to be in the dumps I manage a smile on my face. My first heartbreak, yeah I cried tears and it was hard to look at him but I manage...
    BabyDgay BabyDgay 16-17, F Apr 12

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    Most of the time I don't feel anything.....I'm like a zombie. I ve learned how to act cheerful, exciting and interesting but half of the time I have no idea what I'm talking about...
    HopeEverlasting HopeEverlasting 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    Ahhhhhhh my wrist! Sorry for complaining but fu*ck!!!! I felt like screaming when I woke up, but I didn't so I needed to let it out silently. please kick in soon pain meds so I...
    KortneeAnne KortneeAnne 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    (M*A*S*H 1970 ORIGINAL WORDS ) Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be the pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see... That suicide is painless...
    Greywlf Greywlf 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    oh the battle with the body has been a living nightmare from hell as you all know so well. I have so many physical problems, I just get that look from the doctors. urggg So I have...
    mommaceitta mommaceitta 51-55, F 3 days ago

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    Just because I smile, does it mean I'm happy? Absolutely not. I don't really know what it feels like to be happy much now. A lot has happened to lose happiness. I was much happier...
    kristencameryn kristencameryn 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    It's awful. Unbelievably awful. It's like going through all your days with this ache inside you. This pain that won't go away. It's basically equivalent to having horrific cramps...
    PinkMellow PinkMellow 18-21, F Apr 9

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    They said live life to the fullest not to the foolish. Hello experience project listeners and readers. This is BRATNER once again. In life there are some happenings that must be...
    BRATNER BRATNER 22-25 Apr 13

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    I've been sick and I've been tired Of faking all my smiles Seems as though its come to this It feels all like a lie Every time I look within There's chaos no respite All the walls...
    Eli678 Eli678 26-30, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I have been in chronic, constant pain for over 15 years now. I have seen a multitude of doctors, had several surgeries, many exploratory and even a spinal fusion of my L4-L5 disc...
    Mahala71 Mahala71 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I have severe depression. They've considered putting me in a mental hospital more than once. Depression is the worst thing a person can feel. Especially when you can't figure out...
    JayyPsythe JayyPsythe 13-15, M 3 Responses Mar 25