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I Am Secretly Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 758 People

    Idk Anymore

    Have no friends I just have a boring depressing life.I cry each day ,I don't even know why my friends stop talking to me when it was during summer break. I tell myself I'm done with people, and Facebook but I'm actually not. I don't know who to trust or nothing .I have nobody...
    Imlonelyjalen Imlonelyjalen 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 21, 2013

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    nadirah96 nadirah96 16-17, F Feb 24

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    My name is Cooper Rose.

    I am 20 years old, and I am from Brighton, England. I am a closet lesbian afraid to tell my strict religious parents. I'm very lonely and I fell in love with this site as I can chat to so many great people. I used to cut myself, but I've been clear for a year now, but I'm still...
    infinitemoments infinitemoments 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    I Have to Put On a Brave Face

    It's hard but someone has to do it and in these cases, it has to be me. I've been depressed since Hurricane Katrina, I packed up what I could and we all headed for the open road and didn't really know where we were going. Since Katrina, so much has happened. An event that should...
    Dimples87 Dimples87 22-25, F 12 Responses Jul 14, 2008

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    It's that feeling of emptiness,

    like you wouldn't care if you woke up dead as you feel like you having nothing to live for. I hide behind fake smiles to those who surround me. But when I'm alone I cry. Certain thing have been getting me down, when you seem to have no attachment to your parents. A lot things...
    lynettemo lynettemo 13-15, F Jan 15

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    I have no one to talk to

    and I think my dad is going to kill himself. If not, I know he wants to. I wanted to cry but no tears even came out. I think I'm bottling my feelings up again and the last time I did, it didn't go very well. I think about suicide frequently now. I don't think my life is getting...
    paradisex paradisex 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    iSkateboard iSkateboard 16-17 1 Response Jan 12

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    The Illusion

    Suffering depression is an illusion; That makes you believe that you can't be better; That you can't become better than what and where you are right now; We like to deceive ourselves because we don't like change. Hey but real growth lies outside of the comfort zone; How can you...
    indigowitch indigowitch 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 29, 2012

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    How Do I Know?

    I do not know if I am depressed. I think a lot, and do not know what to do. My grades are going down, I feel like everybody is just pretending to like me these days. I can not sleep well and I sometimes start to cry without a reason. Sometimes I am very energetic and faking, but...
    judgingnorwegian judgingnorwegian 16-17, F Oct 17, 2013

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    No One Has a Clue...

    I have been in depression most of my adult life and had probably had bouts when I was a child.  It is interesting that no one knows about my depression.  Also, I can't call it an illness as it feels naturally part of myself. However, this depression was deep for many...
    squidoutofguam squidoutofguam 46-50 2 Responses Jul 18, 2008

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    I Am A Potato

    i am reaching 18 years of age soon and i have been unhappy for a while. since about 14 years old have been very insecure and i have a low self-esteem. i do have my days when i feel so great about myself but they don't last long. I feel like i am always a second choice to everyone...
    kyleesmiley kyleesmiley 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2012

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    Yes I Am and I Try to Hide ...

    Yes I am and I try to hide it from the world. I put on a big smile and venture out everyday. Only my pillow knows my frustrations and tears and thats the way I like it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 13, 2008

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    To Myself

    It's all a secret. I can't tell anyone , they will treat me like someone else. They say you have to worry about the quiet ones and isnt that the truth. I put a smile on for everyone, but really I just want to leave, to escape this world. It would be beautiful. I really just want...
    Youregonnagofarkid Youregonnagofarkid 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21, 2012

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    Having A Brick Wall Up For Everybody...

    I'm a 32 year old mother of two, I'm engaged to be married also. When I was 23 years old I found out I was 2 months pregnant and Hiv positive. It's been 9 years and it still doesn't sit right with me. I'm having going through a depression period right now and just need someone...
    tweetybird32 tweetybird32 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 22, 2012

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    Motivation

    Right now I'm meant to be studying for my a levels. I can't find the motivation anywhere. I can just about get out if bed in the morning never mind sit in silence with only my thoughts of hatred towards myself to keep me company. I just can't take this anymore, I feel like if I...
    Thatpaininside Thatpaininside 18-21, F 1 Response May 10, 2013

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    Everyday I go to school with a smile on my face,

    I'm not happy but It appears I am. This helps me avoid the questions such as "what's wrong with you, are you okay?". When people ask me this it makes me realize how much I hate my life, how broken my heart is, and how unhappy I am. No one understands my pain like I do, yeah...
    kelsey9317 kelsey9317 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 20

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    My friends always ask me

    if I'm okay and all that I all I answer is yeah I'm fine but I lie. Everyday you have to wake up and nobody notices how broken this world really is, they are putting pressure on teenagers just to get them a good grade they have no idea how much that makes us feel!, and all they...
    lisha101 lisha101 18-21, F Jan 16

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    Hiding It From Most...

    I don't know why the sorrow goes so deep. Why there is no bottom to the pain at times. I try to surround myself with humor and have much to be thankful for. But the ache is always there. Has been there as long as I can remember. Very few people know. Why can't the sun...
    Snapple10 Snapple10 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2012

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    I'm the popular girl.

    The one with all the advice. Nothing could possibly be wrong. Yet my heart aches. I have no friends and suicide is a constant thought of mine. I hate this wretched life we live. Full of evil and false promises. I hate life.
    pinkkcotton pinkkcotton 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    No One In My Face To Face Life Knows

    In fact, everyone thinks I'm very together. I've had people comment to my face how together and calm and laidback I am, and I always just want to laugh. I've been depressed for ten years now, on and off, and suspect I have dysthymia. I have even had counselors tell me to my face...
    Susannahjade Susannahjade 22-25, F 1 Response May 3, 2013

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    She'S An Angel [Fallen]

    Hiding is much easier than showing. Depression is mainly what I cause myself, I stress out so easy, but supposedly I'm perfect. Mother's little angel. Just what she wants, of course, I live to be her clone. So she says. Sometimes I think I've lost it. I write poems, depressing...
    QueenOfAngels QueenOfAngels 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 30, 2013

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    Well, it is no secret

    because I know. Is that all matters? No, but it seems like it. With my circumstances and the live and "family" I am stuck in, I suffer depression and nobody cares. Yes, nobody cares. At least the ones WHO SHOULD DON'T. I have one friend who cares, and I more than grateful...
    ColourmeAmb ColourmeAmb 18-21, F Apr 10

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    Deceptive Smile

    Almost everyone I meet tells me I have a beautiful smile. I put on a great show-- I know what people want to hear; I smile, do the song and dance that society requires. But deep down, I feel so alone. I am so incredibly sad and simply don't feel good enough. I was asked the...
    Panda2232 Panda2232 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 21, 2013

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    Mental Breakdown!

    I dont know if it is seriously me, but i dont know how longer I can take being the "push over" person. I work all day and then come home to a life style I really regret living. All I do is have people in my ears dictating how im gonna live my life. I am truly tired of it. I...
    DiScReTePoEt DiScReTePoEt 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    12

    "Denise, look at me" why? "What happen, to your arm?" Nothing.....[covers arms] "Then where did the big gashes come from.?" No where.... "......Den--" STOP trying to make me talk! its not going to work, i've been talking all my life. about mom about dad about being in foster...
    SameOllove SameOllove 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I don't know why I'm depressed.

    I just have this feeling that I can't explain and my mom has noticed it but she tries not to pressure me into telling her I feel like this. I told her not to worry about me and that I'm ok. But I'm not ok.
    BriannaSA BriannaSA 13-15, F Jan 14

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    Ashamed To Admit It!!

    everything just doesnt seem right just now, i cant be bothered with anything, i have this constant dark feeling that comes over me, im tired all the time, i just want to sleep all day, and i cant get to sleep at night!! i just want to lock myself away from the world!! i dont tell...
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 9 Responses Feb 4, 2012

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    Connections

    I dont know why but my focus levels are out, really bad, i am constantly tired, edgy, very unsocial, i dont want to be social, i find it hard to speak to people simply because i prefer the isolation. My pimples i have popped and turned into bright red things on my face which i...
    ThisChica ThisChica 18-21, F Oct 14, 2013

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    Lost

    I feel lost. I feel like it's time to give up. I'm done trying.
    baronswim baronswim 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2013

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    Learning To Talk Again

    So this is me. I come from a good family, with a good amount of money. I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I go to a good school full of good people. Nothing terrible has ever happened to me. I should be happy, and grateful, and untroubled, and on the outside, that is...
    PseudonymousPerson PseudonymousPerson 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2012

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    Here'S How It Goes:/

    I'm not extremely depressed, but sad. My parents divorced in 2010, and the here years haven't impacted me, but everyone thinks it has. I have been through a lot, but nobody thinks I have. I've been called fat, ugly, loner, anti-social, awkward, useless, waste of space, time...
    loyalhoran loyalhoran 13-15, F Nov 12, 2013

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    So Happy! ... On The Outside... For You My Friends

    I put on a smile for the world, i come to your house to make you feel better i laugh at your jokes even though there not funny i cheer you up by being a clown i come to you when you are in need i show up when ever you summon me i tell you your a great...
    mellycaroline mellycaroline 18-21 2 Responses Apr 22, 2011

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    The End

    Somedays I just want to end it all. I'm so lonely, I have no friends and hardly see my family. No one knows how I feel, what's the point. No one would notice if I was wrong, so I may as well stop myself from being this unhappy right? I can't take this anymore, I'm worth nothing.
    JustJay18 JustJay18 18-21 1 Response Aug 8, 2013

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    Everyone Has A Limit...

    I feel dead.... I'm physically Drained. I'm emotionally ready to explode. I'm mentally ready to shut down. Physically; I can't keep smiling like nothings wrong. I don't sleep. I don't eat right. I don't.....seem alive. Emotionally; I cry every night. I have random moments when...
    SameOllove SameOllove 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20, 2013

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    The majority say that teens are really

    exaggerated. You can count me in on that group. But a girl who's really tired. Tired of people, sickness and medine. Everyday of my life, I have to take 2 shots of injection, 8 tablets of the same medicine (which I thought was impossible) and also some liquid medicines. They...
    IAMMELIKEYOU IAMMELIKEYOU 16-17, F Mar 1

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    I'm that girl that's bubbly

    and happy. That makes everyone else smile. I'm the funny one that's never sad. Or so it seems Im in high school. I had a great life. I was always happy. Now, I'm never happy. I go to school and put on a brave face. None of my friends know I'm depressed. My parents don't know...
    JustThatNobody JustThatNobody 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 1

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    I think I am depressed

    because I lack positive people in my life. In family everyone cribs about life. Cribs about getting by. They seek pleasure in material things. Which is fine but then when their pleasures are met they find another object to crave over and get cranky about. Fights are rampant so...
    rohogaka rohogaka 26-30 1 Response Jan 10

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    I have been feeling down

    for about a year now. I know what the reason is and I've been trying to change. I just don't really want anyone to know. I hide it pretty well. I cry when I'm alone. I have good days and bad days. Some days I want to be alone, other times I want to talk with someone about it...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 9

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    Give Up

    I feel like giving up now. I can't seem to experience joy anymore. Where did it go wrong I used to be happy go lucky, and confident and a little cocky. Now it's like I don't know who I am anymore. I have had anxiety for a while now but I suspect depression has arrived now. I keep...
    Quinney Quinney 22-25, M 4 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    I don't tell many my life

    and it's killing me. I am 13 years old and for the past 13 years things have happened. when I was younger I had to deal with my severally autistic sister until she was removed from my house and when this happened I was 4. Then my parents contemplated a divorce and only stuck...
    sniffew sniffew 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 30

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    Unhappy With Where You Are?

    Where we are in life is exactly where we want to be. Not necessarily because it's what we want but because it's good enough. When good enough isn't good enough anymore THAT'S when we start living :)
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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    I try to keep my mind

    and my hands busy on projects in order to strive off my constant questions concerning what is the actual purpose of life. During my most quietest moments, I tend to over-think on life and get depressed. Every once in awhile I become unmotivated and unhappy to the point I just...
    AnythingQuiet AnythingQuiet 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    I seem so happy and excited

    yet I'm not. As soon as I let the barriers down I'm just a sad, broken girl whose parents don't love and never hug. I'm a girl who was given anything in the world but the love I needed. I never was praised, only patronised at the smallest mistake. I still am that little girl but...
    AllyBear101 AllyBear101 13-15, F Feb 20

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    Why Not Start By Listening?

    Call it what you will, but there is this part of you – an innate wisdom, if you will – that has tried and tried and tried to get you to stop and fix a part of you that broke a long time ago but you've told yourself that you either don't have enough money, don't have enough...
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M Apr 20, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My so-called friends never understand me when I'm depressed. They don't know how badly my heart aches when I'm forced to go to a social event with them and the anxiety starts to...
    VerucaRose VerucaRose 22-25, F 2 hrs ago

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    A lot of it has to do with not wanting to be a downer but also not having a lot of support. Honestly one of the things that most makes me depressed is the unreliability...
    Jaideiris Jaideiris 22-25, F 2 hrs ago

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    So I need advise or reassurement): I'm pretty sure I've found the one I want to marry everything's perfect except what bothers me the most is that he's had sex before. I love him...
    vaashapenin vaashapenin 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I feel like life keeps screwing me over while ppl at work can use me and throw me under the bus. I secretly pray I die to have some relief from all these things I continually...
    simpleman79 simpleman79 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 14

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    Of course I am on here secretly. If anyone found out about the things I post, my experiences or my chat log, they would be utterly shocked. But thank god for the Internet, huh...
    ArmyDad757 ArmyDad757 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 8

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    I'm almost 16 and pretty much for my whole life, I was depressed, I was hit often when I was young and I haven't seen my father often because he worked in a different country, but...
    tribes33 tribes33 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Ever since this school year started, I have been overly depressed. So many things have been going on in my life-school and home. At home, my parents have been fighting. I've been...
    sassysarah98 sassysarah98 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I never realized it until today but I actually have been depressed for almost 3 years. Probably longer. I used to be super depressed everyday. But now I'm just depressed in general...
    allytoledodiaz allytoledodiaz 13-15, F Mar 29

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    I go through cycles of horrible clinical depression and feelings of neutrality/apathy. I was on medications for about two and a half years and felt great. So great that my...
    AlyxB AlyxB 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Dear depressed people, you know you mean a lot to some people okay maybe not a lot but there is still that one person that cares,,, always. you know you have one life,right? so why...
    SAVEtheHER0 SAVEtheHER0 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    Hi there , im totally depressed and i dont know how to handle my emotions .. Im a christiam believer And im a bisexual .. Im married .. Im happy .. I really want a friend to share...
    daffodils1975 daffodils1975 36-40, M Apr 5

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