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I Am Secretly Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,470 People

    How do you stop thinking about someone.

    . i love this guy with all my heart its only been like a couple of weeks but i just love him his my world .. my everything .. and i screwed up things between us .. i only wish i hadn't said what i said to him .. coz now i miss him so much .. we don''t talk at all ... its been...
    MinnieMelaMouse MinnieMelaMouse 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    The Illusion

    Suffering depression is an illusion; That makes you believe that you can't be better; That you can't become better than what and where you are right now; We like to deceive ourselves because we don't like change. Hey but real growth lies outside of the comfort zone; How can you...
    indigowitch indigowitch 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 29, 2012

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    I'm that girl that's bubbly

    and happy. That makes everyone else smile. I'm the funny one that's never sad. Or so it seems Im in high school. I had a great life. I was always happy. Now, I'm never happy. I go to school and put on a brave face. None of my friends know I'm depressed. My parents don't know...
    JustThatNobody JustThatNobody 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 1, 2014

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    I don't feel like everyone's against me

    or that things are hopeless, but I have been hurt by too many people and finally just don't care what happens to me anymore and I know better than to trust anyone again.
    thumper15 thumper15 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 23

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    Nobody knows. I put a mask on everyday.

    I won't tell anyone though. They would worry too much about me and take me to a specialist or someone like that. I don't really want to talk about it. I just want it to go away. I don't chose to feel like this. I don't know why...I don't know anything...
    Give2Schitts Give2Schitts 13-15, T 3 Responses Apr 20

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    thumper15 thumper15 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 17

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    My name is Cooper Rose.

    I am 20 years old, and I am from Brighton, England. I am a closet lesbian afraid to tell my strict religious parents. I'm very lonely and I fell in love with this site as I can chat to so many great people. I used to cut myself, but I've been clear for a year now, but I'm still...
    infinitemoments infinitemoments 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 8, 2014

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    GirlyCasey123 GirlyCasey123 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    Geting a place for people to get help people

    without any horid people to tell u what to do :) you could sleep or just play ps3/xbox
    Lasbutterfly Lasbutterfly 16-17, F Jun 24

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    I don't know what to do.

    I'm still being checked for scars, but it's not helping. My eyes are heavy but I can't cry. I can't cut. I feel too bad. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to therapy or called the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. So what should I do to help the pain go away?
    AveiraAmaria AveiraAmaria 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I wish someone in real life would

    even be interested in me. It seems like I'm invisible to everyone :/
    Mselisa Mselisa 18-21, F 18 Responses May 3

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    12

    "Denise, look at me" why? "What happen, to your arm?" Nothing.....[covers arms] "Then where did the big gashes come from.?" No where.... "......Den--" STOP trying to make me talk! its not going to work, i've been talking all my life. about mom about dad about being in foster...
    SameOllove SameOllove 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    No one knows how I'm feeling most days,

    I tend to smile so people won't notice I'm off balance...
    sheherme83 sheherme83 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    Why Not Start By Listening?

    Call it what you will, but there is this part of you – an innate wisdom, if you will – that has tried and tried and tried to get you to stop and fix a part of you that broke a long time ago but you've told yourself that you either don't have enough money, don't have enough...
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M Apr 20, 2012

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    People think I am strong

    but deep down inside.. I'm just pretend to be strong. I'm laughing when I'm nervous. I'm always laugh to cover what's inside my head.
    arkhamel arkhamel 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    Well not so secretly to those EP members

    who know me. It is likely manic depression because it comes over me in waves. I can be high, excitable, fun and crazy for a period of time then I crash to feelings of despair, loneliness and heartache. I have been treated for depression in my past after certain events but...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Apr 25

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    I don't have anyone to talk to

    so I'm going to write it on here in hopes to feel a relief I guess. For starters I'm a 19 year old woman I am from SLC, UT. I guess I'll just write a little bit about myself from the beginning actually. I've lived in salt lake almost my whole life, growing up I was a pretty good...
    chana801 chana801 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 16

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    Learning To Talk Again

    So this is me. I come from a good family, with a good amount of money. I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I go to a good school full of good people. Nothing terrible has ever happened to me. I should be happy, and grateful, and untroubled, and on the outside, that is...
    PseudonymousPerson PseudonymousPerson 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2012

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    I'm that person who can make you laugh,

    I'm that person who will listen carefully, I'm that person who will supports and stay in difficult condition. But my past, my reality, haunts me and makes me feel torn apart. I laugh a lot to avoid these tears fall. it hurts in the middle of my chest.
    Ikimoem0 Ikimoem0 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    Everyday I am secretly depressed

    but I don't tell the people that surround me because I don't want them to treat me any different or look and me a different way. I'm tired of hiding it because it gets harder and harder to fake a smile and act like the happy person.
    Unknown7411 Unknown7411 16-17, F Mar 30

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    a long time ago i was at my best friend.

    and her husband's home with my other best friend, all the kids were there and we were drinking. usually my one would get buzzed and the other drunk (the married one) and i would stay sober. we always stayed over on these nights. one day, they insisted they wanted to see how i...
    Breeze82b Breeze82b 26-30, F 1 Response May 19

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    Only a few people I trust know about my

    depression, my mum, and my friend, that's it. I've just got to put on a brave face for everyone else to look normal
    CalZe CalZe 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    I'm not a depression sufferer.

    ..but sometimes I feel like I am. Relationships and loneliness trigger it. Sometimes I just feel like laying in bed doing nothing and feeling nothing.
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce 18-21, F Apr 5

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    I Am A Potato

    i am reaching 18 years of age soon and i have been unhappy for a while. since about 14 years old have been very insecure and i have a low self-esteem. i do have my days when i feel so great about myself but they don't last long. I feel like i am always a second choice to everyone...
    kyleesmiley kyleesmiley 18-21, F Dec 1, 2012

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    Yeah... It's bad. I woke up today; My first

    thought was "Oh ****, I'm still alive." I didn't try to kill myself or anything... I just don't want to be on this planet anymore. I don't wanna feel, or see, or hear, or smell, or taste, anything. I just wanna disappear, maybe not even die; just disappear. Anybody feel the...
    NearAsFarCanBe NearAsFarCanBe 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 25, 2014

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    I Have to Put On a Brave Face

    It's hard but someone has to do it and in these cases, it has to be me. I've been depressed since Hurricane Katrina, I packed up what I could and we all headed for the open road and didn't really know where we were going. Since Katrina, so much has happened. An event that should...
    Dimples87 Dimples87 22-25, F 12 Responses Jul 14, 2008

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    My purity My virginity Why doesn't anyone take

    it seriously Is it just a game Do I have to tame you My sacrifices My mind I feel I have lost my own mind Trying to find out why Put on a fake smile They can't see you cry
    ggbeauty2 ggbeauty2 16-17, F Jul 12

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    Sumtimes I think its like mental.

    I will have a good day with ppl but then when im home i just like get riduculously lonley and feel like crap alot. freinds r getting tired of it too but sometimes its like i cant help it and its for no reason at all. People dont no cuz i act happy alot around them, i date lots...
    KrystalHi KrystalHi 13-15, F May 13

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    Hiding It From Most...

    I don't know why the sorrow goes so deep. Why there is no bottom to the pain at times. I try to surround myself with humor and have much to be thankful for. But the ache is always there. Has been there as long as I can remember. Very few people know. Why can't the sun...
    Snapple10 Snapple10 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2012

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    I hate pretending that I'm happy most days go by

    and i just feel so depressed so down so empty, and i don't know what to do its like i can never be happy no matter what i do I'm always feeling like this.
    IHateYourSmile IHateYourSmile 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    i wish I didn't **** everything Up I'm just a

    terrible person who should die no one thinks that im actually sensitive but I am my boss made me cry today and I didn't do anything wrong to get yelled at and my gf wants a break I'm just drowning in pain and tears my anxiety is really bad right now
    bisexualboy02 bisexualboy02 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    I always thought people could tell

    that I was insecure and depressed, but I have a mask that I put on and everyone says I look perfect. You can almost never tell that I'm depressed I always wear a big smile to hide the pain. I can't kill myself, everytime I think about committing suicide, I think of all of the...
    sirianstarsoul sirianstarsoul 16-17, M 3 Responses Jun 24

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    I'm seriously contemplating suicide .

    .. Again ... I thought I was over this
    alm0718 alm0718 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    savant84 savant84 26-30, M 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    The problem with depression is.

    .. -You know you'll be ok, but you still feel awful. -You know people love you, but it doesn't feel like they do.
 -You know doing something will make you feel better, but you just don't know how to.
 -You want to be well, but you just can't seem to get there.
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    i am secretly depressed,

    well at least i think i am, i have felt this way for around 5 years and no one knows. no one not even my parents, i made sure they would never find out. but recently one of my friends, suspected something and i had to tell him but he wants me to tell my school friends so they...
    xox17xox xox17xox 13-15, F 2 Responses May 2

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    Unhappy With Where You Are?

    Where we are in life is exactly where we want to be. Not necessarily because it's what we want but because it's good enough. When good enough isn't good enough anymore THAT'S when we start living :)
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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    If I decide to commit suicide,

    I'm not going to tell anyone or leave a note. I'll just do it
    Lexceee Lexceee 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    thumper15 thumper15 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 19

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    So I don't know what happened i sold my iPhone

    6+ and bought an iPad mini and feel so good...don't have to answer any phone call read any text msg now everyone try to find me want to know where i am or what happening to me...I'm fine and enjoying be with myself alone I just don't want to talk or hear from anyone I just want...
    privacyboy privacyboy 22-25, M May 14

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    So Happy! ... On The Outside... For You My Friends

    I put on a smile for the world, i come to your house to make you feel better i laugh at your jokes even though there not funny i cheer you up by being a clown i come to you when you are in need i show up when ever you summon me i tell you your a great...
    mellycaroline mellycaroline 18-21 2 Responses Apr 22, 2011

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    I want to tell but I just can't.

    It's so hard to hide it but I have to.
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 24, 2014

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    Sometimes, while lying in bed trying to sleep,

    a wave of sadness rolls over me. Draining me of all my sense of good judgment Nothing's really wrong. It just hits u
    pyro2079 pyro2079 18-21, M Jun 16

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    The other day in class,

    I remember a girl very loudly declaring, "Well I think suicide is stupid, and that the people who do it are dumb and selfish." This girl is the richest person I know, and she is both pretty and popular. And in that moment, all I wanted to do was ask her, "What do you know? Do...
    MeganeChan MeganeChan 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    My thoughts are eating me alive.

    I feel like I'm dying inside. I am supposed to be that girl who is invincible. I am always smiling no matter what I've gone through, but it's gotten worse. I'm not happy despite what people think. Everything in my life is going wrong and there isn't anything I can do. I want to...
    silence3412 silence3412 16-17, F Jul 17

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