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I Am Secretly Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,107 People

    For a long time I have been depressed.

    I've self harmed, going through anorexia and I've felt like wanting to end it all. I honestly don't know what to do? It's like there's a constant battle going on inside my head and the bad side is winning! I'm always ready to just give up and end it all. I'm just so confused and...
    TheAngelFromMyNightmare TheAngelFromMyNightmare 13-15, F 1 Response May 14, 2014

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    a friend who was just my classmate becomes my

    good friend later when she shifts to other town.. during the age of 16-17 we studied a lot together through phone calls nd den in a sense I got used to her.. she was off fb even whatsapp. Such thngs made me realise dt al wht mtrs fr her nd me is our studies nd so d feeling dt I...
    ajknightone ajknightone 18-21, M 1 Response May 12, 2014

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    Yeah... It's bad. I woke up today; My first

    thought was "Oh ****, I'm still alive." I didn't try to kill myself or anything... I just don't want to be on this planet anymore. I don't wanna feel, or see, or hear, or smell, or taste, anything. I just wanna disappear, maybe not even die; just disappear. Anybody feel the...
    NearAsFarCanBe NearAsFarCanBe 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2014

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    Why Not Start By Listening?

    Call it what you will, but there is this part of you – an innate wisdom, if you will – that has tried and tried and tried to get you to stop and fix a part of you that broke a long time ago but you've told yourself that you either don't have enough money, don't have enough...
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M Apr 20, 2012

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    So Happy! ... On The Outside... For You My Friends

    I put on a smile for the world, i come to your house to make you feel better i laugh at your jokes even though there not funny i cheer you up by being a clown i come to you when you are in need i show up when ever you summon me i tell you your a great...
    mellycaroline mellycaroline 18-21 2 Responses Apr 22, 2011

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    I've gone through many stuff

    that no one will ever know in a decade, I've felt pain never imaginable, I've had cancer so rare only 25 cases world wide known, I have a total of 13 surgeries.. And it doesn't end there.. I've always had hearing aids in both ears until 2007 where I had a ear surgery where I was...
    sharkymaster sharkymaster 13-15, M 1 Response Dec 11, 2014

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    My parents have recently split up.

    I have fallen out with my best mate whom had been supporting me for ages. I have hidden all my emotions throughout my life, it has finally became too much and I have broke. Also, I have almost killed myself on several occasions due to depression. To make things even worse, only...
    kingrhys1st kingrhys1st 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    The Illusion

    Suffering depression is an illusion; That makes you believe that you can't be better; That you can't become better than what and where you are right now; We like to deceive ourselves because we don't like change. Hey but real growth lies outside of the comfort zone; How can you...
    indigowitch indigowitch 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 29, 2012

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    Learning To Talk Again

    So this is me. I come from a good family, with a good amount of money. I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I go to a good school full of good people. Nothing terrible has ever happened to me. I should be happy, and grateful, and untroubled, and on the outside, that is...
    PseudonymousPerson PseudonymousPerson 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2012

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    I think I am depressed

    because I lack positive people in my life. In family everyone cribs about life. Cribs about getting by. They seek pleasure in material things. Which is fine but then when their pleasures are met they find another object to crave over and get cranky about. Fights are rampant so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 10, 2014

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    How do I tell my dad

    and step mom I need help. I've lost myself. I don't know who I am. And I don't even know what makes me happy anymore.
    mayamariesolis mayamariesolis 16-17, F 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    I am secretly sad. Is

    that a bad thing, I don't know? I mean, sure, I have my genuine laughs throughout the day, month, year...yeah. Actually I started to feel that I wasn't myself starting last year. Good grades plummeted, friends were lost, and my personality and outlook on everything just changed...
    Tina443 Tina443 16-17, F 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    When you feel so down

    that you think you cant handle it, just stand back up and let the world know you can take whatever it can serve, I do all the time, My will grows with everything the world throws at me. Just remember, the world can only throw so much at you, it will get worse before it gets...
    sneadle sneadle 18-21, M Sep 16, 2014

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    No one knows how I'm feeling most days,

    I tend to smile so people won't notice I'm off balance...
    sheherme83 sheherme83 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    12

    "Denise, look at me" why? "What happen, to your arm?" Nothing.....[covers arms] "Then where did the big gashes come from.?" No where.... "......Den--" STOP trying to make me talk! its not going to work, i've been talking all my life. about mom about dad about being in foster...
    SameOllove SameOllove 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I am going through a divorce.

    It was very unexpected. Depression isn't even the word I would describe. I lost everything. I had to quit my job and move back in with my parents. My whole adult life was destroyed. I have to pretend to be happy all the time. Because no one wants to talk about it. I just can't...
    danielkclayton danielkclayton 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 3, 2014

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    I feel so depressed..

    .. I hate my life.:.
    thatstonerguy thatstonerguy 18-21, M 1 Response May 20, 2014

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    Well, it is no secret

    because I know. Is that all matters? No, but it seems like it. With my circumstances and the live and "family" I am stuck in, I suffer depression and nobody cares. Yes, nobody cares. At least the ones WHO SHOULD DON'T. I have one friend who cares, and I more than grateful...
    ColourmeAmb ColourmeAmb 18-21, F Apr 10, 2014

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    I now the bad and good.

    .. Why why why?
    roann02 roann02 31-35, F Aug 31, 2014

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    I don't want her to worry,

    yet she does anyway. Maybe she'll be better off without me here... She won't have to worry then.
    AveiraAmaria AveiraAmaria 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I think she's one of my triggers.

    Why. I don't want her to be. I can't tell her. This account is even secretly stowed away from her. I'm free here. My tears soak her transparent chest. I am hers forever but I can't read her mind. I don't know what she thinks. Who cares, anyways.
    AveiraAmaria AveiraAmaria 18-21, F Dec 27, 2014

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    I Am A Potato

    i am reaching 18 years of age soon and i have been unhappy for a while. since about 14 years old have been very insecure and i have a low self-esteem. i do have my days when i feel so great about myself but they don't last long. I feel like i am always a second choice to everyone...
    kyleesmiley kyleesmiley 18-21, F Dec 1, 2012

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    Yes I Am and I Try to Hide ...

    Yes I am and I try to hide it from the world. I put on a big smile and venture out everyday. Only my pillow knows my frustrations and tears and thats the way I like it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 13, 2008

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    I have been stressed

    for a few days. My class is always misbehaving and loud. We got yelled at twice today. There is so much drama. I have a friend who is homosexual and is teased. I want to help him as much as I can but I am stressed with homework and projects. Today he got yelled at for a stupid...
    HaruMarchosias HaruMarchosias 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    My name is Cooper Rose.

    I am 20 years old, and I am from Brighton, England. I am a closet lesbian afraid to tell my strict religious parents. I'm very lonely and I fell in love with this site as I can chat to so many great people. I used to cut myself, but I've been clear for a year now, but I'm still...
    infinitemoments infinitemoments 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 8, 2014

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    My family doesn't understand

    why I act the way I do sometimes because they don't see how depressed I am feeling. I have been lonely and sad in the past, and have gotten used to it, but inside I feel so much worse than any of those times. Mostly, I have no one to talk to or trust with my feelings...I want...
    MaroonMandy19 MaroonMandy19 13-15, F Jun 13, 2014

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    I am currently 14, I go home

    after school and cut. But it's weird to me because most people cut because they're bullied or nobody understands them or even don't have friends, but when I do it it's just because of my anxiety. The. I think of Scenarios about if people found out and how much everyone would...
    dorkypanda28 dorkypanda28 13-15, M 1 Response May 28, 2014

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    I don't know why but I've always been depressed.

    My mom says its a phase and my friends say the same. Except I think it means something.
    WorthlessXlove WorthlessXlove 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 9

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    I want to tell but I just can't.

    It's so hard to hide it but I have to.
    happytobeanon happytobeanon 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 24, 2014

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    Anyone that saw me would think I'm perfectly

    fine. They'd think I'm just a normal teenage girl. The thing is I'm not and they don't know what goes on behind closed doors! Outside in smiling, inside I'm dying. Outside I'm laughing inside I'm screaming. All I ever want to do is break down in tears and give up. My entire life...
    TheAngelFromMyNightmare TheAngelFromMyNightmare 13-15, F 1 Response May 18, 2014

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    Everyone at home think

    that I am the optimist of our family. I'm not. I am seriously depressed and have cut, OD'd, and have hurt myself in many other ways. I don't want help... I'm just posting this so that I don't kill myself tonight. I don't want to kill myself until the person I love dies. Until...
    AveiraAmaria AveiraAmaria 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    I'm that girl that's bubbly

    and happy. That makes everyone else smile. I'm the funny one that's never sad. Or so it seems Im in high school. I had a great life. I was always happy. Now, I'm never happy. I go to school and put on a brave face. None of my friends know I'm depressed. My parents don't know...
    JustThatNobody JustThatNobody 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 1, 2014

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    Hiding It From Most...

    I don't know why the sorrow goes so deep. Why there is no bottom to the pain at times. I try to surround myself with humor and have much to be thankful for. But the ache is always there. Has been there as long as I can remember. Very few people know. Why can't the sun...
    Snapple10 Snapple10 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2012

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    Sometimes i feel like i always have to be the

    person there for people but when it comes to me, i have to keep it all in. But im fine with that. I see kids in the orphanage i volunteer on, they are so full of hope, i want to give them hope. How will i do that when i myself isnt happy? Everyday i try to be strong even if no...
    paigeevans07 paigeevans07 18-21, F 1 Response May 15, 2014

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    I don't know where to start.

    I am a college sophomore that reflects on the world in a negative manner. I feel that the world despises me and that I am a self-loathing person. This world.... this world constantly changes, fluctuates, swings and spins my head. I am trapped in the cask of my mind. Inclined to...
    zosozeppelin95 zosozeppelin95 18-21, M Oct 5, 2014

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    Idk Anymore

    Have no friends I just have a boring depressing life.I cry each day ,I don't even know why my friends stop talking to me when it was during summer break. I tell myself I'm done with people, and Facebook but I'm actually not. I don't know who to trust or nothing .I have nobody...
    Heyitsjalenn Heyitsjalenn 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 21, 2013

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    I Have to Put On a Brave Face

    It's hard but someone has to do it and in these cases, it has to be me. I've been depressed since Hurricane Katrina, I packed up what I could and we all headed for the open road and didn't really know where we were going. Since Katrina, so much has happened. An event that should...
    Dimples87 Dimples87 22-25, F 12 Responses Jul 14, 2008

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    Sometimes I think I'm just going mad

    since I was born in a Christian Family. Because of a such horrible past which I can't entirely forget, I always liked doing devilish things. I guess I only did these kind of stuff only to make myself feel more confident to handle all those harsh moments that I was going through...
    jonnyland9 jonnyland9 16-17, M Jan 13

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    Does anyone else get short bursts of depression?

    Sometimes I am really happy, and then all of a sudden, I get really depressed. All I want to to be alone, but not lonely. I feel like my friends aren't really my friends and don't care about me. I think darkly, and sadly. I wish I wouldn't feel like this, but I do. It started...
    Newgirl00 Newgirl00 13-15, F 4 Responses Jan 8

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    Almost everyday, I get treated badly at school

    and even from some teachers. I hate being bullied! I feel so lonely and depressed. This isn't the first time I've felt this. Ugh. I just want to cry. Can someone please talk to me? I really want someone to talk to me since I feel alone.
    alienbabe9 alienbabe9 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 7, 2014

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    The problem with depression is.

    .. -You know you'll be ok, but you still feel awful. -You know people love you, but it doesn't feel like they do.
 -You know doing something will make you feel better, but you just don't know how to.
 -You want to be well, but you just can't seem to get there.
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I never tell anyone anything

    if I am bullied as because I feel like no one understands who I am and have been bullied because apparently I was different and I try to pretend that it doesn't affect me but deep down I break and fall apart but what annoyed me is that I seem to not be able to deal with it...
    johnvincentandmace johnvincentandmace 13-15, M 1 Response May 6, 2014

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    Unhappy With Where You Are?

    Where we are in life is exactly where we want to be. Not necessarily because it's what we want but because it's good enough. When good enough isn't good enough anymore THAT'S when we start living :)
    maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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    People think I am strong

    but deep down inside.. I'm just pretend to be strong. I'm laughing when I'm nervous. I'm always laugh to cover what's inside my head.
    arkhamel arkhamel 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    I'm that person who can make you laugh,

    I'm that person who will listen carefully, I'm that person who will supports and stay in difficult condition. But my past, my reality, haunts me and makes me feel torn apart. I laugh a lot to avoid these tears fall. it hurts in the middle of my chest.
    Ikimoem0 Ikimoem0 18-21, F 8 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    The End

    Somedays I just want to end it all. I'm so lonely, I have no friends and hardly see my family. No one knows how I feel, what's the point. No one would notice if I was wrong, so I may as well stop myself from being this unhappy right? I can't take this anymore, I'm worth nothing.
    JustJay18 JustJay18 18-21 1 Response Aug 8, 2013

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