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I Am Shutting Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 294 People

    I Am Through Sharing Now

    I am. I have had it. I will no longer let anyone else in. I know what happens now when I do. they love me, they leave me. I am sure it's me now. Goodbye, connection with others. No, this is not a suicide thing. But it is a spiritual death.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

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    Subhuman

    I feel like i'm just a quivering mass of nerves, not in human form or sometimes i don't feel normal human emotion. Something's wrong with me.
    NikkiBlack NikkiBlack 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Don't Make Me Feel Again ...

    Please don't smile at me in that way Please don't reach into my heart and make me feel something Please don't touch me in a way i can't handle please don't hold me because i may just break Please don't make my heart ache for you Please let me walk quietly away into the dark I can...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 23, 2013

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    Fading to black...

    I can't explain it but I feel it happening. I'm distancing myself from everyone and everything. Shutting down. Some people have an off switch, I don't. I just sort of fade to black.
    zillaron zillaron 51-55, M 15 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    I just don't know what I want anymore.

    Everything seems okay, but I'm getting tired of this jaded world. What's the point of trying to make sense of anything. It's never going to be what you think it is.
    LeviathanWhiteStag LeviathanWhiteStag 16-17, F Mar 31, 2014

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    I Feel So Alone

    I go to a counsellor for anxiety and depression, and I can't seem to tell her half the things that are going on. I've shut her out of half my life I need help with. But I just can't bring myself to tell her. I feel stupid and pathetic. Like everyone's just laughing at me because...
    MessedUpGirl MessedUpGirl 22-25, F 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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    I Changed Direction

    I used to be shut down but I opened up to my girlfriend as things were going smoothly.. Now I'm changing direction, I'm closing down to everyone and everything and I feel like I can't tell anyone anything and don't have the rights to be upset, sad or anything. I always cry to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2011

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    Basically enough said.

    ...That moment when the fog begins to clear and for a moment you are able to see the light. My words fail me as they usually did around you, I feel empty though, I no longer have the words to give as I once was able to before. So I have left them here and there spread out like a...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Older And Need Help, I Am Shutting Down...

    I am a writer by profession, and I have published a few books and ebooks. Recently I have been having a hard time completing my latest manuscript because I feel like it's all completely hopeless. I belong to several social networks but I keep running into trolls, and with no...
    tm914 tm914 56-60 3 Responses Apr 23, 2011

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    he doesn't know but..

    . I'm pushing people away.. and he's one of them, I'll tell him of course... but I still feel bad, I even started crying.. then I read his status and.. it made it even more worse.. but I have to, just like I have to with other people.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 28

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    A Shutter Is Coming Down....

    Around my heart. I believe that everyone has limits as to how much hurt they can humanly take before something takes over and you change. I am still sensitive, caring and kind but I have learnt to hold back now. I know I come across as very caring and kind and that isn't always a...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    damn... it´s just that.

    .. I was so up, so high on achievements (so ridiculous, so small)... now I have nothing... I feel worthless, like if I leave now no one will care... What am I doing with my life? why am I pushing away all those who love me? just... just want to sleep... and never wake...
    jsabina11 jsabina11 18-21, M Mar 21, 2014

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    I Dont Even Kniw Why

    So on monday i woke up feeling so horrible about myself hating myself for being me.i was so not up for school but it would have been worse if i didnt go. I got to school and i almost cried in front if my teacher when he asked what was wrong... I think he saw and said i disnt have...
    rageandhate rageandhate 18-21 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    Hi all. Not really sure what this app is all

    about. But I lost my fiancée in a horrific truck accident on Friday night. Just reaching out to others who have also lost someone.
    skysie skysie 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 16, 2014

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    Loner Forever

    first of all, i would like to ask anyone who reads this that they could give some advice because i would like a third party perspective please! so here i am in high school, it was last year in this class with someone i used to be friends with in middle school and we start...
    catcraig catcraig 16-17, F Apr 30, 2010

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    Necessary

    Everyone has issues, and problems that they are facing.  I do share bits and pieces of how I feel and what is going on with a select few...but, really, not all of it. I made that mistake once, I won't do that again. I take responsibility for this because, well...I did it to...
    SweetlyLingering SweetlyLingering 66-70, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2012

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    I'm so afraid of getting hurt.

    Of feeling love. Or feeling joy. Because the minute I'm happy... Standing on my feet.... The rug gets snatched from under me. I'm closing up. Shutting down. I can't take it anymore. I can't escape my own head.
    BrokenPhoenixx BrokenPhoenixx 18-21, F Jan 15, 2014

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    Well, it won't be the first time.

    I don't what else to do :(
    xBleedMeDryx xBleedMeDryx 18-21, M Oct 8, 2014

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    I feel tight inside and its all I can feel.

    I am not right. I just want to sit in this dark silence until I feel something else. I forced myself through work now I want nothing just silence. I don't care if I am here tomorrow. I can't turn off the negative thoughts I have been ripping myself down all day. I am beginning...
    december2010 december2010 41-45, T 8 Responses Apr 14

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    Do You Know This Feeling?

    I can't be the only one who is constantly hitting delete. I never know where to begin...or even express at all for that matter. I've hid so much of myself all these years that it overwhelms me. I'm so suffocated in here, but nothing is saving me. I want to understand what...
    Kkl3v Kkl3v 18-21, F Mar 14, 2013

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    In the times of silence

    that is when I am deepest in thought. I shut myself off from the world around me. I have been told I have a tendency to go into ghost mode. Some think it is because I am angry, some think it's because I simply do not care. These are both untrue, I am silenced by the fear of...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    human cruelty is killing me.

    even though we know there are nice people out there. these ideas even doesn't help us... They choke us They destroyed us They controul us...SICK i hate you i hate you i hate you a lot stay away from me as far as you can.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 15

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    Related Experiences

    It's kicking in .... Depressed X X X
    snowmoon123 snowmoon123 31-35, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Unfortunatly I do shut down. Its a PTSD thing. I deal with it in my head in my own way. Nothing against said person talking to me. Its me and I know Im an issue.
    Averageguy41011 Averageguy41011 41-45, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    The last couple of days have been so dull. I've been unwell and laying in bed and I swear time has stopped moving! I hate not being able to do anything. If it wasn't for my friend...
    reubyonekenobi reubyonekenobi 36-40, M 6 hrs ago

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    This is my favorite way to be tickled. Having one persons hold down your arms over your head, stretching out the upper body completely so that the ribs are shown and then have...
    ticklishguy411 ticklishguy411 18-21, M 21 hrs ago

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    This is my favorite way to be tickled. Having one persons hold down your arms over your head, stretching out the upper body completely so that the ribs are shown and then have...
    ticklishguy411 ticklishguy411 18-21, M 1 Response 21 hrs ago

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    In my opinion, teen years is the worst stage of one's life. I honestly cannot wait for life to end. I don't care about this temporary world anymore. Counting down the days until I...
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    When I'm being yelled at or someone is screaming at me I shut down. I can't handle it and I start freaking out. I eventually get over it, but I avoid that person for quite some...
    Josimms23 Josimms23 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I don't shut down physically, not completely anyway. I'm an introvert so I guess it comes as a package deal. When life gets overwhelming I shut down mentally and shut out anyone...
    Josimms23 Josimms23 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I like to write down my thoughts so I can free my self from my thought. it is a blessing chance, to write down something it feels like I trusting my ideas to reliable place.
    giga6164 giga6164 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    Nothing I say is ever right
    Nae82 Nae82 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    Lately I've been shutting out everyone. My best friend moved away . And since then I shut out ever one else and am just staying home. I'm scared about what will happen when school...
    palesky palesky 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I'm not down on it entirely, I don't think people should be dependant on it. Free your mind, read a book, listen to music, go to the theatre.
    usernameinneed usernameinneed 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    My insides are pouring out and i need a private place to write them down. Im just realizing something but i dont want anyone's opinion to sway me. I have to figure this out myself...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 26-30, F 6 days ago

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    Whenever life knocks me down (and it has many times) I always pick myself up off the mat, brush myself off, and move forward from that point. I always try my best to not allow...
    allisonhashope allisonhashope 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    I wrote an experience some months back about changes EP has gone through. Sad and very disheartening how EP has gone in a different direction. I recall a site, ( years back...
    MrNash MrNash 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 23

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    I'm use to being let down. Everyone promises me things. Promise we go somewhere fun, promise we just chill, promise me that you never break a promise. But when it comes to the time...
    PrincessSkulls PrincessSkulls 18-21, F Jul 23

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    So I was at my friends house just hanging out. So my parents call me and said that it was time to come home. So when I got home my parents where waiting for me. So I asked them why...
    Altickler Altickler 13-15, M Jul 23

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    A few weeks back I was checking out my newsfeed on facebook and one of the items caught my eye. It was a post about the true origins of some popular songs, one of which was I Don't...
    oncemoreuntothebreech oncemoreuntothebreech 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 22

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    I have an uncle who is 41 years old and he works at a convenience store. I know that he doesn't get paid very much but my uncle doesn't have a lot of education and has never been...
    jillmyers91901 jillmyers91901 13-15, F Jul 21

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    I've been let down so many times that i cant even trust someone who likes me and tell them anything:(
    thenameszed thenameszed 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 18

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