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I Am Shutting Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 298 People

    Subhuman

    I feel like i'm just a quivering mass of nerves, not in human form or sometimes i don't feel normal human emotion. Something's wrong with me.
    NikkiBlack NikkiBlack 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Don't Make Me Feel Again ...

    Please don't smile at me in that way Please don't reach into my heart and make me feel something Please don't touch me in a way i can't handle please don't hold me because i may just break Please don't make my heart ache for you Please let me walk quietly away into the dark I can...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 23, 2013

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    I Dont Even Kniw Why

    So on monday i woke up feeling so horrible about myself hating myself for being me.i was so not up for school but it would have been worse if i didnt go. I got to school and i almost cried in front if my teacher when he asked what was wrong... I think he saw and said i disnt have...
    rageandhate rageandhate 18-21 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    In the times of silence

    that is when I am deepest in thought. I shut myself off from the world around me. I have been told I have a tendency to go into ghost mode. Some think it is because I am angry, some think it's because I simply do not care. These are both untrue, I am silenced by the fear of...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    he doesn't know but..

    . I'm pushing people away.. and he's one of them, I'll tell him of course... but I still feel bad, I even started crying.. then I read his status and.. it made it even more worse.. but I have to, just like I have to with other people.
    lilybunny944 lilybunny944 13-15, F Feb 28

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    I just don't know what I want anymore.

    Everything seems okay, but I'm getting tired of this jaded world. What's the point of trying to make sense of anything. It's never going to be what you think it is.
    LeviathanWhiteStag LeviathanWhiteStag 16-17, F Mar 31, 2014

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    damn... it´s just that.

    .. I was so up, so high on achievements (so ridiculous, so small)... now I have nothing... I feel worthless, like if I leave now no one will care... What am I doing with my life? why am I pushing away all those who love me? just... just want to sleep... and never wake...
    jsabina11 jsabina11 18-21, M Mar 21, 2014

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    Older And Need Help, I Am Shutting Down...

    I am a writer by profession, and I have published a few books and ebooks. Recently I have been having a hard time completing my latest manuscript because I feel like it's all completely hopeless. I belong to several social networks but I keep running into trolls, and with no...
    tm914 tm914 56-60 3 Responses Apr 23, 2011

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    I Am Through Sharing Now

    I am. I have had it. I will no longer let anyone else in. I know what happens now when I do. they love me, they leave me. I am sure it's me now. Goodbye, connection with others. No, this is not a suicide thing. But it is a spiritual death.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

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    Basically enough said.

    ...That moment when the fog begins to clear and for a moment you are able to see the light. My words fail me as they usually did around you, I feel empty though, I no longer have the words to give as I once was able to before. So I have left them here and there spread out like a...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Fading to black...

    I can't explain it but I feel it happening. I'm distancing myself from everyone and everything. Shutting down. Some people have an off switch, I don't. I just sort of fade to black.
    zillaron zillaron 51-55, M 15 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Loner Forever

    first of all, i would like to ask anyone who reads this that they could give some advice because i would like a third party perspective please! so here i am in high school, it was last year in this class with someone i used to be friends with in middle school and we start...
    catcraig catcraig 16-17, F Apr 30, 2010

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    human cruelty is killing me.

    even though we know there are nice people out there. these ideas even doesn't help us... They choke us They destroyed us They controul us...SICK i hate you i hate you i hate you a lot stay away from me as far as you can.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 15

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    A Shutter Is Coming Down....

    Around my heart. I believe that everyone has limits as to how much hurt they can humanly take before something takes over and you change. I am still sensitive, caring and kind but I have learnt to hold back now. I know I come across as very caring and kind and that isn't always a...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    I feel tight inside and its all I can feel.

    I am not right. I just want to sit in this dark silence until I feel something else. I forced myself through work now I want nothing just silence. I don't care if I am here tomorrow. I can't turn off the negative thoughts I have been ripping myself down all day. I am beginning...
    december2010 december2010 41-45, T 9 Responses Apr 14

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    Necessary

    Everyone has issues, and problems that they are facing.  I do share bits and pieces of how I feel and what is going on with a select few...but, really, not all of it. I made that mistake once, I won't do that again. I take responsibility for this because, well...I did it to...
    SweetlyLingering SweetlyLingering 66-70, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2012

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    Hi all. Not really sure what this app is all

    about. But I lost my fiancée in a horrific truck accident on Friday night. Just reaching out to others who have also lost someone.
    skysie skysie 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 16, 2014

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    Do You Know This Feeling?

    I can't be the only one who is constantly hitting delete. I never know where to begin...or even express at all for that matter. I've hid so much of myself all these years that it overwhelms me. I'm so suffocated in here, but nothing is saving me. I want to understand what...
    Kkl3v Kkl3v 18-21, F Mar 14, 2013

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    Well, it won't be the first time.

    I don't what else to do :(
    ComeDieWithMe ComeDieWithMe 18-21, M Oct 8, 2014

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    I Feel So Alone

    I go to a counsellor for anxiety and depression, and I can't seem to tell her half the things that are going on. I've shut her out of half my life I need help with. But I just can't bring myself to tell her. I feel stupid and pathetic. Like everyone's just laughing at me because...
    MessedUpGirl MessedUpGirl 22-25, F 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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    I'm so afraid of getting hurt.

    Of feeling love. Or feeling joy. Because the minute I'm happy... Standing on my feet.... The rug gets snatched from under me. I'm closing up. Shutting down. I can't take it anymore. I can't escape my own head.
    BrokenPhoenixx BrokenPhoenixx 18-21, F Jan 15, 2014

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    I Changed Direction

    I used to be shut down but I opened up to my girlfriend as things were going smoothly.. Now I'm changing direction, I'm closing down to everyone and everything and I feel like I can't tell anyone anything and don't have the rights to be upset, sad or anything. I always cry to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Shutting down....into lock mode...... as a candle in the dark being blown out.....the dimmer switch slowly turning off that light that once was inside....now darkness pervade...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 1 Response May 3

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    I am learning to use down time at work. I think that anyone that is truly honest will admit they have down time at work. If you do your job well, you eventually learn to do it...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M Apr 23

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    i went to my friends house with my cousin . and we went down to the big stream that was about idk a mile or two . well any way when we get there we clime on the swinging rope and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 26

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    When I am upset and someone tells me to calm down ( or cheer up ), it is like throwing gasoline on a fire. It's not helpful, and it actually fuels my anger or frustration. To me...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 31-35 1 Response Apr 28

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    Hell yeah mmmmmm Up and down mmmm ohh that's it ahhh Up and down oh yessss Up and down mmmm get it get it ahhhh Up and down Up and down Holly push-ups bat man !! That's the...
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M 1 Response May 3

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    I am at the time where I feel like breaking down every day. This is really hard to understand. I've always felt like i can be strong and hold on to dear life until the disasters...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 3 Responses May 9

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    So when I was a kid my dad used to roughhouse with my brother and I in my grandfather's pool which faced a country club golf course just behind the back yard. Dad would mess with...
    Ganglish Ganglish 18-21, M Apr 22

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    Each day she wakes up, tired....feeling like she has not slept in days, body just does not want to work with her at first.....she looks in the mirror, hates what she sees looking...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F Apr 24

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    I have had many friends introduce me to their new bfs and fiances.I smile, say hello and look them up and down. I'm thinking 'Oh Lord! Another thug'.I'm always right.I see too many...
    Outofeden Outofeden 31-35, F May 8

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    There was a point where I actually contemplated suicide and dying. I was exhausted and didn't know what else I wanted to do with my life as I had explored all that I had wanted to...
    Elsahen Elsahen 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    My friend pulled down my pants and showed everyone my panties. Now we are having an underwear party!!!!! Nothing like watching movies in your panties!!!
    Elliepanties20 Elliepanties20 18-21, F 8 Responses Apr 23

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    I am close to breaking down with all the bills that I have to pay with the fact that my husband is not working that I bury all the burden and work all the time and I'm never home...
    SpiritWolfe741 SpiritWolfe741 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 24

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    If you are always comfortable, you wont change. Change only happens when you become disturbed, uncomfortable being placed on an edge ready to break down thats when change can take...
    RestlessFlame RestlessFlame 18-21, F Apr 24

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    Literally though, I'm kinda short (5ft 7" and 13 years old) and loads of people just look down to talk to me and its horrible... Especially when its patronizing :S
    philex2014 philex2014 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    Life is so full of ups and downs. Un-fair unexpected twists and turns. One thing is certain though, I am beyond grateful for my loving boyfriend who doesn't mind being a shoulder I...
    Anonymouscoast Anonymouscoast 22-25 1 Response Apr 28

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    I just want to be happy. Every time I achieve happiness, something brings me down. It's exhausting trying to "remain positive". Truthfully, I've tried.. It's gotten me no where. It...
    Withmywoes Withmywoes 22-25, F Apr 29

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    Whenever I got spanked as a child my panties or pajama bottoms were always taken down while I was being told off prior to the spanking itself.
    Joanne0chan Joanne0chan 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 30

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    I prefer you not to tell me to calm down it will only make the situation more worse than it already is let me vent and get my point across and I'll be good
    shericka1992 shericka1992 22-25, F Apr 30

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    Every time you sent a tex with a smile or a text with a kiss my hopes rose, every time you said you missed me I felt so close, it got to a point where you wanted to come home but...
    traceyannmay traceyannmay 22-25, F 2 Responses May 1

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    Idk I think I'm just throwing myself a pity party from all the **** that's happened this month. I've been handling it ok but idk.. And watching "if I stay" probably isn't helping...
    xizzyx xizzyx 22-25, F 1 Response May 2

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