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I Am Shutting Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 297 People

    I'm so afraid of getting hurt.

    Of feeling love. Or feeling joy. Because the minute I'm happy... Standing on my feet.... The rug gets snatched from under me. I'm closing up. Shutting down. I can't take it anymore. I can't escape my own head.
    BrokenPhoenixx BrokenPhoenixx 18-21, F Jan 15, 2014

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    Hi all. Not really sure what this app is all

    about. But I lost my fiancée in a horrific truck accident on Friday night. Just reaching out to others who have also lost someone.
    skysie skysie 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 16, 2014

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    Subhuman

    I feel like i'm just a quivering mass of nerves, not in human form or sometimes i don't feel normal human emotion. Something's wrong with me.
    NikkiBlack NikkiBlack 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    I Feel So Alone

    I go to a counsellor for anxiety and depression, and I can't seem to tell her half the things that are going on. I've shut her out of half my life I need help with. But I just can't bring myself to tell her. I feel stupid and pathetic. Like everyone's just laughing at me because...
    MessedUpGirl MessedUpGirl 22-25, F 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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    I Dont Even Kniw Why

    So on monday i woke up feeling so horrible about myself hating myself for being me.i was so not up for school but it would have been worse if i didnt go. I got to school and i almost cried in front if my teacher when he asked what was wrong... I think he saw and said i disnt have...
    rageandhate rageandhate 18-21 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    Do You Know This Feeling?

    I can't be the only one who is constantly hitting delete. I never know where to begin...or even express at all for that matter. I've hid so much of myself all these years that it overwhelms me. I'm so suffocated in here, but nothing is saving me. I want to understand what...
    Kkl3v Kkl3v 18-21, F Mar 14, 2013

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    Well, it won't be the first time.

    I don't what else to do :(
    xGNFx xGNFx 18-21, M Oct 8, 2014

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    I feel tight inside and its all I can feel.

    I am not right. I just want to sit in this dark silence until I feel something else. I forced myself through work now I want nothing just silence. I don't care if I am here tomorrow. I can't turn off the negative thoughts I have been ripping myself down all day. I am beginning...
    december2010 december2010 41-45, T 8 Responses Apr 14

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    I Am Through Sharing Now

    I am. I have had it. I will no longer let anyone else in. I know what happens now when I do. they love me, they leave me. I am sure it's me now. Goodbye, connection with others. No, this is not a suicide thing. But it is a spiritual death.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

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    Basically enough said.

    ...That moment when the fog begins to clear and for a moment you are able to see the light. My words fail me as they usually did around you, I feel empty though, I no longer have the words to give as I once was able to before. So I have left them here and there spread out like a...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Older And Need Help, I Am Shutting Down...

    I am a writer by profession, and I have published a few books and ebooks. Recently I have been having a hard time completing my latest manuscript because I feel like it's all completely hopeless. I belong to several social networks but I keep running into trolls, and with no...
    tm914 tm914 56-60 3 Responses Apr 23, 2011

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    I just don't know what I want anymore.

    Everything seems okay, but I'm getting tired of this jaded world. What's the point of trying to make sense of anything. It's never going to be what you think it is.
    LeviathanWhiteStag LeviathanWhiteStag 16-17, F Mar 31, 2014

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    Necessary

    Everyone has issues, and problems that they are facing.  I do share bits and pieces of how I feel and what is going on with a select few...but, really, not all of it. I made that mistake once, I won't do that again. I take responsibility for this because, well...I did it to...
    SweetlyLingering SweetlyLingering 66-70, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2012

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    In the times of silence

    that is when I am deepest in thought. I shut myself off from the world around me. I have been told I have a tendency to go into ghost mode. Some think it is because I am angry, some think it's because I simply do not care. These are both untrue, I am silenced by the fear of...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    Loner Forever

    first of all, i would like to ask anyone who reads this that they could give some advice because i would like a third party perspective please! so here i am in high school, it was last year in this class with someone i used to be friends with in middle school and we start...
    catcraig catcraig 16-17, F Apr 30, 2010

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    Don't Make Me Feel Again ...

    Please don't smile at me in that way Please don't reach into my heart and make me feel something Please don't touch me in a way i can't handle please don't hold me because i may just break Please don't make my heart ache for you Please let me walk quietly away into the dark I can...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 23, 2013

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    human cruelty is killing me.

    even though we know there are nice people out there. these ideas even doesn't help us... They choke us They destroyed us They controul us...SICK i hate you i hate you i hate you a lot stay away from me as far as you can.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 15

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    I Changed Direction

    I used to be shut down but I opened up to my girlfriend as things were going smoothly.. Now I'm changing direction, I'm closing down to everyone and everything and I feel like I can't tell anyone anything and don't have the rights to be upset, sad or anything. I always cry to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2011

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    damn... it´s just that.

    .. I was so up, so high on achievements (so ridiculous, so small)... now I have nothing... I feel worthless, like if I leave now no one will care... What am I doing with my life? why am I pushing away all those who love me? just... just want to sleep... and never wake...
    jsabina11 jsabina11 18-21, M Mar 21, 2014

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    he doesn't know but..

    . I'm pushing people away.. and he's one of them, I'll tell him of course... but I still feel bad, I even started crying.. then I read his status and.. it made it even more worse.. but I have to, just like I have to with other people.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 28

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    A Shutter Is Coming Down....

    Around my heart. I believe that everyone has limits as to how much hurt they can humanly take before something takes over and you change. I am still sensitive, caring and kind but I have learnt to hold back now. I know I come across as very caring and kind and that isn't always a...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    Fading to black...

    I can't explain it but I feel it happening. I'm distancing myself from everyone and everything. Shutting down. Some people have an off switch, I don't. I just sort of fade to black.
    zillaron zillaron 51-55, M 15 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I never really get down or depressed, I always spring back from my problems no matter what. Because of this I like to help people who suffer from depression.
    Blackalon Blackalon 13-15, M 1 hr ago

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    Everything just feels like way too much tonight. The eating disorder, the new medication, the thought of going back to school in a few short weeks is just all getting really on top...
    bulimicbaby890 bulimicbaby890 18-21, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    I'm never shocked when people let me down nowadays. I just hate the fact that I put myself in a position to be let down in the first place.
    Bg3242 Bg3242 13-15, F 8 hrs ago

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    "I Don't Care Anymore... " I just can't... There is just TOO much going wrong, all at once, and I can't fix ANY of it... I don't even feel like myself anymore ... and it totally f...
    Likewise2 Likewise2 41-45, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Games have grow to be a lot more expensive all the time. Now you dont have to be concerned for money just enter the games world on web and start off free of charge downloading your...
    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 17 hrs ago

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    Games have turn into far more costly all the time. This stirring http://www.kiwibox.com/indexification5/blog/entry/132939317/discount-life-insurance-will-give-you-the-best...
    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 17 hrs ago

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    i is the backgrnd emblem for this page a smiley face
    spinsterC spinsterC 41-45, F 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    Naked in the warm rain Water pelts me and dribbles down my skin Over all too soon But look! A rainbow....
    INudist INudist 56-60, M 22 hrs ago

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    It is over a year now since my daughter left home without any warning, I miss her and I cry over her leaving every day.I never hear from her other than for the odd abusive comment...
    Kazzy57 Kazzy57 56-60, F 2 days ago

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    my waist is that wierd size where belts are too big or too small. constantly pulling them up or pushing them down cause they're so tight
    SeanDR SeanDR 16-17, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    multi-pal times. One time I was speaking in church during Easter on behalf of my girl guides troop when I was about 10. Halfway through my speech I felt my jeans begin to slide...
    EmbarasedGirl EmbarasedGirl 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Bring it on big girl....push me down and make me tap out as I do it smiling ....do be smothered by your big massive chest would always have me losing to you why we playfully...
    thebustierthebetter thebustierthebetter 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    Accidentally bought a pair of pants a size too big for me online and wore them to work the yesterday with no belt (I don't own one) and on the way there I was constantly pulling...
    EmbarasedGirl EmbarasedGirl 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Pin me down teach me not to talk back. Show me what's yours and no one can touch. Whisper sweet nothings but also yell at me when I argue don't ignore me show me not to ever do...
    gummybear2090 gummybear2090 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I do. I really do because I don't know what else to do. but I know it makes things worse its just hard not to shut down
    julyybabey julyybabey 16-17, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's silly, I guess, but every time I go to a wedding, I look at at the bride, wishing I could know what she is feeling. Some girls are probably nervous, some just plain ecstatic...
    mickitg mickitg 41-45, T 6 days ago

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    My aunts cousin married Robert Downey Jr's cousin. And at the wedding his parents were there but he wasn't. But technically I'm part of his family now xD
    Torilovescats Torilovescats 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    "When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside." - Rumi
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    He is hands down my favorite actor out there! I love him in every film he's done! And he's not bad on the eyes either!
    royalsfan4 royalsfan4 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 16