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I Am Shutting Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 285 People

    I Changed Direction

    I used to be shut down but I opened up to my girlfriend as things were going smoothly.. Now I'm changing direction, I'm closing down to everyone and everything and I feel like I can't tell anyone anything and don't have the rights to be upset, sad or anything. I always cry to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2011

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    human cruelty is killing me.

    even though we know there are nice people out there. these ideas even doesn't help us... They choke us They destroyed us They controul us...SICK i hate you i hate you i hate you a lot stay away from me as far as you can.
    Juri0902 Juri0902 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    Well, it won't be the first time.

    I don't what else to do :(
    TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys 18-21, M Oct 8, 2014

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    Subhuman

    I feel like i'm just a quivering mass of nerves, not in human form or sometimes i don't feel normal human emotion. Something's wrong with me.
    NikkiBlack NikkiBlack 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Do You Know This Feeling?

    I can't be the only one who is constantly hitting delete. I never know where to begin...or even express at all for that matter. I've hid so much of myself all these years that it overwhelms me. I'm so suffocated in here, but nothing is saving me. I want to understand what...
    Kkl3v Kkl3v 18-21, F Mar 14, 2013

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    Loner Forever

    first of all, i would like to ask anyone who reads this that they could give some advice because i would like a third party perspective please! so here i am in high school, it was last year in this class with someone i used to be friends with in middle school and we start...
    catcraig catcraig 16-17, F Apr 30, 2010

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    I just don't know what I want anymore.

    Everything seems okay, but I'm getting tired of this jaded world. What's the point of trying to make sense of anything. It's never going to be what you think it is.
    LeviathanWhiteStag LeviathanWhiteStag 16-17, F Mar 31, 2014

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    Necessary

    Everyone has issues, and problems that they are facing.  I do share bits and pieces of how I feel and what is going on with a select few...but, really, not all of it. I made that mistake once, I won't do that again. I take responsibility for this because, well...I did it to...
    SweetlyLingering SweetlyLingering 66-70, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2012

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    Don't Make Me Feel Again ...

    Please don't smile at me in that way Please don't reach into my heart and make me feel something Please don't touch me in a way i can't handle please don't hold me because i may just break Please don't make my heart ache for you Please let me walk quietly away into the dark I can...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 23, 2013

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    Hi all. Not really sure what this app is all

    about. But I lost my fiancée in a horrific truck accident on Friday night. Just reaching out to others who have also lost someone.
    skysie skysie 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 16, 2014

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    I Dont Even Kniw Why

    So on monday i woke up feeling so horrible about myself hating myself for being me.i was so not up for school but it would have been worse if i didnt go. I got to school and i almost cried in front if my teacher when he asked what was wrong... I think he saw and said i disnt have...
    rageandhate rageandhate 18-21 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    Older And Need Help, I Am Shutting Down...

    I am a writer by profession, and I have published a few books and ebooks. Recently I have been having a hard time completing my latest manuscript because I feel like it's all completely hopeless. I belong to several social networks but I keep running into trolls, and with no...
    tm914 tm914 56-60 3 Responses Apr 23, 2011

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    I Am Through Sharing Now

    I am. I have had it. I will no longer let anyone else in. I know what happens now when I do. they love me, they leave me. I am sure it's me now. Goodbye, connection with others. No, this is not a suicide thing. But it is a spiritual death.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Fading to black...

    I can't explain it but I feel it happening. I'm distancing myself from everyone and everything. Shutting down. Some people have an off switch, I don't. I just sort of fade to black.
    zillaron zillaron 51-55, M 15 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    damn... it´s just that.

    .. I was so up, so high on achievements (so ridiculous, so small)... now I have nothing... I feel worthless, like if I leave now no one will care... What am I doing with my life? why am I pushing away all those who love me? just... just want to sleep... and never wake...
    jsabina11 jsabina11 18-21, M Mar 21, 2014

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    I'm so afraid of getting hurt.

    Of feeling love. Or feeling joy. Because the minute I'm happy... Standing on my feet.... The rug gets snatched from under me. I'm closing up. Shutting down. I can't take it anymore. I can't escape my own head.
    BrokenPhoenixx BrokenPhoenixx 18-21, F Jan 15, 2014

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    Basically enough said.

    ...That moment when the fog begins to clear and for a moment you are able to see the light. My words fail me as they usually did around you, I feel empty though, I no longer have the words to give as I once was able to before. So I have left them here and there spread out like a...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    I Feel So Alone

    I go to a counsellor for anxiety and depression, and I can't seem to tell her half the things that are going on. I've shut her out of half my life I need help with. But I just can't bring myself to tell her. I feel stupid and pathetic. Like everyone's just laughing at me because...
    MessedUpGirl MessedUpGirl 22-25, F 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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    Saving My Sanity?

    I don't really want to. I would like to still be "there" I'm shutting Down to damn near everything at this point except my friends? I don't even know at the moment what's going on. What I can feel right now is that my heart hurts and I really just want to curl up in a nice little...
    CowgirlMagic CowgirlMagic 18-21, F Jul 13, 2011

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    A Shutter Is Coming Down....

    Around my heart. I believe that everyone has limits as to how much hurt they can humanly take before something takes over and you change. I am still sensitive, caring and kind but I have learnt to hold back now. I know I come across as very caring and kind and that isn't always a...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    he doesn't know but..

    . I'm pushing people away.. and he's one of them, I'll tell him of course... but I still feel bad, I even started crying.. then I read his status and.. it made it even more worse.. but I have to, just like I have to with other people.
    lilybunny944 lilybunny944 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    Girl, I've been watching you From so far across the floor now baby That's nothing new I've watched you so many times before now baby I see that look in your eyes And what it's...
    TheScorpio1966 TheScorpio1966 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 16

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    old man falls down emergency alarm device from vipprogrammer.com, danger Help seeking device, when the man has Emergency, just push down button, emergent message will be send to...
    vipprogrammer vipprogrammer 26-30, F Mar 20

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    I want to raise awareness about the discrimination and racism towards dark skinned immigrants in the uk .. I'm a dark skinned woman who is a daughter if immigrants and I had lived...
    Soullesss Soullesss 31-35, F Mar 22

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    I want to raise awareness about the discrimination and racism towards dark skinned immigrants in the uk .. I'm a dark skinned woman who is a daughter ofimmigrants and I had lived...
    Soullesss Soullesss 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm so shocked and traumatised by the treatment I had by the mental health professionals in Middlesbrough ... What happened to me was beyond my expectations and imaginations and I...
    Soullesss Soullesss 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    I love it when I am ordered down onto all fours like an animal, my body full on display, my large br****s hanging down, my back arched and a** up. The anticipation, not knowing...
    russianprincessdoll russianprincessdoll 22-25, F 8 Responses Mar 12

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    How dare you filthy vermin look down on me, ENVY!? DONT LOOK DOWN ON ME HUMANS, DONT LOOK DOWN ON ME!!!!
    Nix0 Nix0 16-17, M Mar 15

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    take a little note to remind you incase you didnt know tell yourself i love you and i dont want you to go write this down take my words and read um every day keep um close by dont...
    Kanimaz Kanimaz 13-15, F Mar 6

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    I've done that to several girls, tugging their bikini bottoms down or their shorts and panties - how I love seeing them squirm and squeal as everyone watches....when deep down they...
    DBRBull DBRBull 41-45, M Mar 14

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    I feel this deep emptiness filling every inch inside of me. Maybe it the result of my impatience to move forward. I want to leap but things in life are not obtained in a single...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    Feeling down and being bored are two bad traits. Mainly when you wanna talk to someone and no one is down. -____- can't seem to find people around MY AGE man. :/
    ayooavery21 ayooavery21 22-25, M a week ago

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    Wind finally dyed down this morning got down the beach and got the shorts and shirt off to enjoy a lovely couple of hours enjoying laying naked on the beach , went for a walk along...
    warnbronudist warnbronudist 51-55, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Ah ****. Here we go again. Hello dear members of the EP world. So I tried my luck at being a normal functioning adult who doesn't run to the Internet to complain about everything...
    TheGirlFromJupiter TheGirlFromJupiter 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I don't know exactly why but always that i go to biology lab, I end up feeling so bad about myself. I've always had problems when it comes to the microscope because I have a hard...
    wendym98 wendym98 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 3

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    I met someone here who did just that . I wonder did it make him feel like a big man knowing he kicked me when I was down . News flash - I picked myself up and you owe me a apology...
    Dancemomisme1 Dancemomisme1 46-50, F 5 Responses Mar 3

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    my head is not in a good place feel really down.don't want to do anything. but drink myself to oblivion sounds good. bye for now friends
    CheatingTracy CheatingTracy 22-25, F 16 Responses Mar 5

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    I don't mind talking to guys on ep but I make it very clear I JUST want to talk. Nothing sexual. Nothing even slightly close to sexual. Not even 0000000.1% sexual in any way. I...
    DeluxedEdition DeluxedEdition 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 7

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    Why is it so hard to find a guy who would go down on me? :(
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 7

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    I do love it to much to waste it and if i am going down i want it all
    alexiswcd alexiswcd 56-60, T Mar 9

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    I should have known that our "friendship" wasn't a real friendship. I should have known that it was just you trying to get back with me, since everyone kept telling me that. I...
    untamedx3heart untamedx3heart 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    When I was 13 and in the middle of a soccer match, I was running and for whatever reason, my soccer shorts fell down, and I was left in my pink boxers with pink and blue hearts on...
    html92 html92 22-25, M Mar 12

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