I Am So Depressed, I Just Want the Pain to Stop

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 35 People

    My boyfriend is a recovering addict.

    He's been very verbally abusive to me because of it and it's been making me very depressed. I want to be there for him but the nicer I am to him the more horrible he is to me. Everyday my chest hurts from the sarcastic/hurtful comments he makes each day to me. I tell him this...
    lilbuggy lilbuggy
    22-25, F
    Apr 30, 2014

    I cheated on my boyfriend

    when our relationship was rocky last year...we have been trying to repair it ever since but we are from a small town and people will not let him or I live it down. Which is making it impossible for us to move forward. Idk what to do, it seems like it'll never end but I don't...
    thatgirl0977 thatgirl0977
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 29, 2014

    I know I have to go on

    but I can't do it anymore. I am so depressed and unhappy. I just can't stop crying and wishing to be dead everyday. I feel like an alien since I was born. The world is a horrible place, all these pain and injustice makes me feel so insecure and hopeless. Is goodness really...
    blackjasmine blackjasmine
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2014

    Related Experiences

    I cannot begin to express my debt to EP nor how much the closing of the site saddens me. I met my soulmate, the woman who gives meaning to my life here. I was at a low ebb in my...
    Malchya56 Malchya56
    51-55, M
    Apr 21
    To all the depressed and suicidal people: You are not alone....... I joined this site because I was deeply depressed. I was shocked to see how many people were depressed like me...
    toniyl toniyl
    36-40, F
    Apr 21
    today EP is going to Die it has been a great place to come and post meaningful creations over the last 5 years. it has also been a wonderful place to post meaningless sh*t...
    lionsdenn lionsdenn
    26-30, M
    Apr 21
    Hi EP, I'm BioticCactus and here's my shïtty last speech. My real name is Alberto Di Ianni, and I'm a depressed sod, sorta. I'm glad I found you guys tbh, EP has made my life a...
    BioticCactus2 BioticCactus2
    13-15, T
    1 Response Apr 20
    So many things I could free myself of but don't. Do I simply not do so because I am weak? Or is the excuse of procrastination be used because I am weak? I am weak yet not. You are...
    GrinchFairy GrinchFairy
    16-17
    Apr 20
    Hey, So I'm posting this because I'm really struggling and contemplating ending everything because I can't see a way out. Any advice, past experience, hope, people in the same boat...
    ShellFlower119 ShellFlower119
    18-21, F
    Apr 19
    Help me..... I want to disappear. I'm married to someone I don't love to the point that I can't stand being with him..... I'm not happy. I feel depressed. No one want to hear me...
    diniatq diniatq
    22-25, F
    Apr 19
    ok, I never thought of posting this but since ep is closing I thought it would help It was two years ago that this happened, but it started much before that, a friend of mine. in...
    guiltyofinnocence guiltyofinnocence
    18-21, T
    2 Responses Apr 18
    I Am So Sad Just Want To be Happy
    NogoodElizabeth NogoodElizabeth
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 18
    I need a mentor. An adult mentor. Someone with experience. Not online, I need one physically, in person. I can't do what I want to do in life alone. Sometimes, day like these, I...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee
    70+, F
    9 Responses Apr 18
    Can we all please stop being depressed about EP leaving? All the experiences are all like, "Oh! I will miss EP, Ep please don't go!" I''m on this website to read about sad things...
    Kimberlybucklandz1093 Kimberlybucklandz1093
    13-15, F
    1 Response Apr 18
    Can we all please stop being depressed about EP leaving? All the experiences are all like, "Oh! I will miss EP, EP please don't go!" I''m on this website to read about sad things...
    Kimberlybucklandz1093 Kimberlybucklandz1093
    13-15, F
    Apr 18
    Can we all please stop being depressed about EP leaving? All the experiences are all like, "Oh! I will miss EP, EP please don't go!" I''m on this website to read about sad things...
    Kimberlybucklandz1093 Kimberlybucklandz1093
    13-15, F
    Apr 18
    Can we all please stop being depressed about EP leaving? All the experiences are all like, "Oh! I will miss EP, Ep please don't go!" I''m on this website to read about sad things...
    Kimberlybucklandz1093 Kimberlybucklandz1093
    13-15, F
    Apr 18
    I just rly wish I could have someone to talk to. I'm not sad or depressed I'm just exteeeemlyyyyy booooored and no ones around.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    9 Responses Apr 17
    Losing almost everything or just not having enough will humble you even depress you Almost guaranteed. My life is really challenging for me now. I resigned from a good job...
    toniyl toniyl
    36-40, F
    Apr 17
    Sometimes I'm happy. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I'm both at the same time. I'm not depressed. I may feel like I am, but I'm not. I know I'm not. I get overwhelmed with my...
    JeSuisAutomne JeSuisAutomne
    16-17, F
    Apr 16
    I want friends. I don't want a lot. Just a few. Two or three really good friends who aren't the extremely outgoing type that randomly shout stuff in a crowded room to remind people...
    Nineismyname Nineismyname
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 16
    I turning 14 in 8 days. (I act and look older than I am I could pass for a 18 year old) This is my problem. I have problems and sometimes I can be insecure and I think I'm...
    lifeproblems lifeproblems
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Apr 16
    We have been married 4 yrs together for 15 yrs. Our entire relationship is a roller coaster ride. Either really good or really bad. I have 3 children. One with my husband and 2...
    mimi1977 mimi1977
    36-40, F
    Apr 15
    I really need some advice. I'm currently in my last semester of college and I should be graduating in May of this year with a degree. However, I jammed myself with 6 different...
    Softballplayer04 Softballplayer04
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 14
    Shouldn't EP sell the site to the membership as the petitioners ask? I refer to the petitions at https://www.change.org/p/ep-keep-ep-open-don-t-close-ep/u/15957350 and https://www...
    conceptualclarity conceptualclarity
    51-55, M
    3 Responses Apr 14
    How walking your dog can change your life One of the best activities you can do if you are a pet owner living in an apartment complex, is to take your dog out for a “pack walk...
    karunakat78 karunakat78
    36-40, F
    Apr 14
    Everybody needs a story to relate too. its only natural for us to want others to feel what we feel, so that we can feel understood and good. My story is one a lot of girls can...
    Ameeeraaa Ameeeraaa
    22-25, F
    Apr 14
    A year ago I attempted suicide for the first time. I don't remember exactly what the reason was at the time but it had to do with my parents and my life being screwed up in the...
    abby3333333 abby3333333
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 13
    I am depressed about my son growing up. A little background: My husband has a daughter that lives with us full time. Her mother left when she was only 1. I met my husband when...
    proudmama5711 proudmama5711
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 13
    I literally feel like I want to die
    NogoodElizabeth NogoodElizabeth
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 13
    I wanted to share this story before the website got paused because meeting this person has made such a huge impact on my life. I had just made my ep at a time in my life where I...
    sleeplesscollegestudent sleeplesscollegestudent
    18-21, F
    Apr 13
    -Life In Transition: A Compilation of Memories-I was born biologically male, but over the course of my life, have realized that my mind and soul on the inside feels female. Women...
    KayleeBehrens KayleeBehrens
    18-21, T
    Apr 13
    In January 2014 I started getting sharp pains. I had lots of fatigue and was very bloated even when it wasn't my time of the month. The pain got so bad I went into the ER and they...
    Anakitty11 Anakitty11
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    So I see people are trying to post more experiences and let more things off their chest and telling their stories before EP closes. So I decided, hey, I might as well join the...
    jaeger053 jaeger053
    16-17
    Apr 12
    So I see people are trying to post more experiences and let more things off their chest and telling their stories before EP closes. So I decided, hey, I might as well join the...
    jaeger053 jaeger053
    16-17
    1 Response Apr 12
    I don't let onto people that I'm depressed. I just go through life pretending I don't have a problem. I know I show signs of depression, but people in rl don't take an interest in...
    DragonTheDragon DragonTheDragon
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 11
    i have been having some type of feeling for my male teacher since school started i cant tell no one not even my bestfriend i feel like she will think im weird or crazy if i tell...
    daydreamer1122 daydreamer1122
    18-21
    1 Response Apr 10
    I binge eat and need help to stop, why do I binge?
    meliefry meliefry
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Apr 10
    **** everything, if anyone wants to talk to me to make sure I'm okay(Which Ik no one will cause no one gives a ****) then pm me
    Jason2111 Jason2111
    13-15, M
    2 Responses Apr 10
    Social phobia is like when you hold onto trash because you're scared to throw it away, or wait for an hour to do something because you don't want other people to think you did it...
    NyBrid NyBrid
    13-15, F
    Apr 10
    I fell in love with a stranger on the bus last week. We were waiting at the same stop and I noticed her immediately. She's very cute, but not completely out of my league, I don't...
    mlxstr mlxstr
    18-21, M
    Apr 9
    Being an only child sucks.... I use to have a sister, her name was gabby. Gabby had a boyfriend named Neil and Neil seemed like he was loyal a catholic and a really nice person but...
    Dessily Dessily
    13-15, F
    5 Responses Apr 9
    Hey, people. I just really have to share what im feeling cuz i cant tell it to someone else, and even if i will no one will understand me. Im so sick of all this ****** stuff...
    Alliwantistodie Alliwantistodie
    13-15, F
    7 Responses Apr 9
    I honesty don't want to live anymore, that's how bad it actually is right now. The pain is so strong, I can't ignore it anymore.. I wish there was a way to be happy again but right...
    DarkMooon DarkMooon
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 9
    I'm too old to be depressed. I look at other people and the ones who seem to be depressed are in their teens or early twenties. Maybe I'm just looking at the surface. I want to be...
    ebetheee ebetheee
    41-45, F
    Apr 8
    Dont know when it started. I had become an emotional nightmare over the last year or so. I know it started when I just started to cry over all kinds of family deaths. Not when they...
    boldtimer boldtimer
    66-70, M
    Apr 8
    In the darkest reaches of my heart sits a small girl. She doesn't know me, yet she affects me every day. She's anxious. She's sad. She cries all the time. The poor girl is so...
    Anonylyn Anonylyn
    22-25, F
    Apr 8
    Everything gets better. I wanted to put an experience out there as my life has changed indeed in the last couple of years. A few years back I posted an experience about how lonely...
    BunnyObsession BunnyObsession
    22-25, F
    Apr 8
    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT JUST FIX MY EATING DISORDER I FKING CAN'T IF I TOLD SOMEONE TO JUST STOP BEING DEPRESSED OR JUST STOP HAVING ANXIETY ATTACKS I WOULD BE A FKING A...
    Indigo27 Indigo27
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Apr 8
    I have pcos and thyroid disease.Its so hard to lose weight.The fat shaming,from family makes me eat more.I lost about 50 pounds and gained all back.I was completely depressed.Now I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 8
    everyday I make another ****** decision and lose more people I love. give me a reason why I should believe it gets better. because right now I just want to end it all.
    kodellio kodellio
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 8
    Feeling Sad Yes, I do feel sad as in very sad because Ep has become a sort of home for me, a home with friends who i can't talk to when i have felt lonely,sad ,or even totally...
    RedEyesBlackDragon RedEyesBlackDragon
    51-55, M
    Apr 8
    Hi everyone I wrote this post in 2014 and have included further information below about the development since. I’ve tried to summaries as best I could. I was diagnosed in June 2...
    mark01981 mark01981
    31-35
    1 Response Apr 8
    Like many, I came across Experience Project when I needed it most. It was a time in my life when everything had been going wrong and I felt completely alienated from everyone in my...
    KnightBlade KnightBlade
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 7
    Today I had a portfolio review in college and some other stuff required by my major and my advisor said I was doing really well, so that made me happy. Then I went into a meeting...
    starling156 starling156
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 7
    I am a: -depressed -emotional -slightly insecure -peculiar -quirky -smiley -goofy -slightly obsessive - music loving -dorky -worrisome -caring -friendly -athletic -defensive...
    Smileydork Smileydork
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Apr 6
    Since the beginning of highschool, I was always a little chubby. I became a vegetarian for a little under a year but had to stop when it turned into a mild eating disorder and I...
    Lukas2727 Lukas2727
    22-25
    1 Response Apr 6
    Why can't i just die already? Why can't i feel loved? What is the point of living? I am a depressed attention wanting idiot.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 6
    well this isn't exactly the worst drug I've ever had to take. it sure is pretty damn sneaky. I started off taking this stuff for fibro. fibro with a good side order of depression...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer
    46-50, M
    Apr 6
    TWO DECADES, TWO CONTINENTS (Part 42) Oct 15 2015 I received whatever was agreed on at the settlement conference except for my rosary. Evan was the one who wrote on the envelope...
    Emmanjoy Emmanjoy
    46-50
    2 Responses Apr 6
More Stories