I Am So Messed Up Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 826 People

    Here.. as it works everytime

    before the University exam. Headache and a lost smile, writing on this social without almost any reason. Thinking about how studying destroyed my life, when people always said to me to study to be free. Nope. This **** will not pay me back. I lost everything because of it, I...
    CrookedMat CrookedMat
    26-30, M
    Nov 23, 2014

    I Am Freaking Insane I Feel So Bad For The People In My Life

    I hate who I am. I am a cheater, greedy, selfish and fake. I feel horrible that my family has to be associated with me. I am the reason my son is Autistic and the reason my father is unable to speak because of a stroke. It's my fault that my mothers last husband left her. I hate...
    whatami2thisworld whatami2thisworld
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 27, 2012

    I'm not saying I'm f*cked up.

    I have a mental illness and I got shock treatments and they ****** me up.
    Ang012685 Ang012685
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 8, 2015

    The other day I just couldn't take bottling up

    my emotions any longer. I locked myself in my room specifically to be alone but my mother was banging on the door and I was crying and blasting music so I couldn't hear her so my father breaks down the door and I just lose it. I start cursing at my mother which I have never done...
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8
    16-17, M
    8 Responses Aug 17, 2015

    I wish my older sister was alive cut I could do

    with talking to a sister rather than a brother about my feelings she would be 18 now but I wish she wasn't a stillborn It would of been nice growing up with an older sister
    thelittlekidindiapers thelittlekidindiapers
    16-17, M
    Jun 15, 2015

    heavy heart,and pulsating mind.

    lack of rest,weighs heavy down upon it all. insomnia sickens the body. makes me see visions of devils. im left arguing with shadows and the people off in my distance. eyes sink in deeper still. what is real and what is a lie. i cant tell apart one page from another. a groan of...
    VoloNoscere VoloNoscere
    26-30, M
    1 Response Dec 20, 2014
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 6, 2015

    My mind is just one big,

    flashy, mixed up, boy crazy, wondering, hopelessly-romantic, confused, musically-emotional MESS right now...I'm just so lost in my thoughts; there's too many of them racing through my head - .... Music can only help me escape a certain distance from these thoughts and I've...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 4, 2015

    am a widow with small kids,

    live with monthly check from the inlaws, don't work because i dont know why those companies dont want to hire me, on top of it all the late husband died of hiv which i found out only 3 days before he was gone so wheres my position now????
    nosaint718 nosaint718
    31-35, F
    4 Responses May 7, 2015

    I have depression,social anxiety disorder ,

    cyclothymia and mild dysthymia.For about 4 or 5 years my dads been an alcoholic which has changed my outlook on life.i dont like bbeing home because of that and i try to go out with friends as a excuse o to be surrounded by my family.when i trust someone i trust them way too much...
    ririmaria ririmaria
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 31, 2014

    I'm trying not to draw attention to myself to

    others. I don't want to do anything but sleep. I try so hard to improve but I can't seem to do something positive with my talking. I hurt feelings or make people uncomfortable. I'm rather frantic, panicked, depressed, and suicidal right now. I'm sorry. I want someone to know. No...
    IAimForHonor IAimForHonor
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Mar 10, 2014

    Really Messed Up

    i am miss perfect to you...i am miss i-can-do-anything-i-put-my-mind-to. i am all that to you and you expect only the best out of me. you see me surrounded by flying angels and hear my sugar-coated voice. you see me as the Next Big Thing and you are convinced i will be a somebody...
    madamoiselle madamoiselle
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Jun 27, 2008

    I put on a fake smile

    and face. Just to hide my wrongs and badness. If they only knew.
    NomadAngel117 NomadAngel117
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Apr 29, 2015
    Lind4421 Lind4421
    Jun 3, 2015

    I dont even know what to do anymore.

    . Im just so sad all the time.
    IrenkaSchipper IrenkaSchipper
    18-21, F
    Jun 10, 2015

    Well. This may very well be the last anyone

    will ever hear from me on here. See you on the other side.
    Nihl Nihl
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Mar 28

    I don't think there's anyone out there

    who could ever fully accept who I am.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Mar 16, 2015

    Is it really tht bad being gay.

    I has told someone how I felt and it just got all crazy. I have ppl up on my face asking me questions saying ur a dirty girl how dare u or. Tht b***** is going to hell. The whole day at skool was just weird. I can't handel this. I've tried overdosing pills and nothing just...
    Jo951 Jo951
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 1, 2014

    I was out just now and I was talking to someone

    and my 3G was not working so I broken my phone again. and I tried to log in the app on my laptop but it wont let me even though I am using the right password the right email. I tried to reset my pass word but it has not come thought.... I am sooo messed up. I will never find the...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Aug 9, 2015

    I'm hurting inside . I feel like a bomb about

    to explode . All I have in my mind is what if ? Why me? It's sad and it's eating my soul. I feel empty and cold .
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Apr 30, 2015

    ....these nights. these feelings.

    i dont know. if. or when. or how much more. i can withstand. im so lost. and lonely. i dont know. what im doing. or where im going. i feel like a pilgrim. in a foreign. ugly land. like a wanderer. without a home. thats me. im gods lonely man. i dont want much. out of life. i...
    VoloNoscere VoloNoscere
    26-30, M
    Feb 22, 2015

    I really need to stop thinking

    that you care about me, because you don't. You say one thing but do another. Making me confused, playing games with my trust. And in the end you come back to me and it all seems all right again for a moment. I always get lost in the excitement, the false hope someone gives a...
    CactusHugger CactusHugger
    Feb 18, 2015

    The dark that's inside of me is overwhelming my

    soul and mind. I'm clinging onto the last bits and pieces of sanity and holiness left.
    badday928 badday928
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Apr 20, 2014

    I am so paranoid. I don't trust anyone.

    Sometimes not even myself and my own thoughts . It's scary how much little things can change your point of view .
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies
    18-21, F
    Apr 30, 2015

    I have been chatting with a really nice girl

    and I asked if she had seen any of my experiences. She said no, why. I said that some were not really good. She asked a few other things and I'm open with her as I figured I should be. She said to delete them. I have but I think she hates me now. If you're reading this and have...
    Bird500 Bird500
    46-50, M
    Aug 11, 2015
    AustinOsten AustinOsten
    18-21, M
    Mar 17, 2015

    I don't know who I am anymore.

    I am a jumbled complexities inside me. I can no longer figure out what I really want out of this life. It's killing me. I'm lost. I'm in solitary helpless solitude.
    bleakharoun bleakharoun
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2015

    I really don't know what should i do now!

    My parents wanted me to be a doctor, but my dream is to become a musician.I could not argue much and i started with biology, but was not able to qualify those tough entrance examinations! So now, i am going with graduation in biology(zoology, botany and psychology). But my...
    tickticky tickticky
    18-21, F
    Dec 6, 2015

    You ask "are you alright?

    " Bliss and despair collide I want to say I'm fine I'm great But I don't want to lie to you Maybe I'll just tell the truth That I want to gauge out my eyes When I catch a glimpse of my face Sometimes I feel would rather peel The flesh from my bones Than leave my home The sound...
    LittleBirds0827 LittleBirds0827
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

    My head is so messed up constantly.

    I don't know what to think or what to do. It's like I'm not even alive. I'm living but I'm not alive, and it's the worst feeling to ever have. I feel like I'm not good enough for anything, I don't have a talent, I'm average in school, there isn't anything special about me. There...
    LoneFox29 LoneFox29
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 14, 2015

    I am really messed up.

    .. Inside I'm depressed, lonely, bipolar, PTSD. I've been involved in a car accident, been bullied and have over-expecting parents plus i live in a place where everyone is boxed up, no creativity... I'm practically different, I'm weird, I like being myself and I get judged for...
    MusicalGirl24 MusicalGirl24
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Jan 31, 2014

    I can't sleep. I can't really eat.

    I can't function. I can't have the relationships I want. My mother is dying. My relationships with boys always fail and can't find a real man. I posses my friends off because of my situation right now and I just need someone to talk to. I'm so emotionally screwed up and I need...
    Hunnylovie Hunnylovie
    26-30, F
    Mar 7, 2015

    I think that something is wrong with me.

    From my school records, it actually started in kindergarten. The teacher put on my report card at the end of the year that I was very restless, always talking, never sitting still, ect ect. I still was a very smart child. It kept progressing each year like that. I was never...
    Angekinz Angekinz
    26-30, F
    Aug 9, 2014

    The daft need of my owl souls censure

    for the demon within is ridiculously moot The profligacy it hold dull and inane **** you I say, you are not my void and I don't like you anyway I've a plethora of my own kind of Saturnalia to tend to Your sad pleas are supererogatory and vain, You've no comprehension of...
    LadyGallivanter LadyGallivanter
    Jun 8, 2015

    at least i now have some idea why.

    and it actually makes me feel a little better about some things.
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    Jun 4, 2015

    well....another year has gone by,

    and another year ive wasted. honestly,ive done nothing with myself and my life. im 27 and still live at home,but this yearr,im going to get out of this ******* depression and ******* do something with my life. get out more. explore the world,if not, just the continental united...
    VoloNoscere VoloNoscere
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jan 1, 2015

    Time cant heal wounds

    nor help forget the memories.
    hearmespeak hearmespeak
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 20, 2014

    i'm afraid of myself :( i feel like the next

    time that i get angry that i will hurt somebody
    deleted deleted
    Sep 3, 2015

    I am messed up I've had abusive parents they

    abuse me and every form of the word sexual mental physical and emotional. I learned how to treat people from them. And today it all blew up in my face. When I moved out of my parents house I made a vow not to be like them. But needless to say the apple doesn't fall too far from...
    Somechick47 Somechick47
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 18, 2015

    I spoke to my councillor today,

    I was really nervous about going and nearly cancelled it. But I went. She asked me about a few things and ultimately why I thought I feel the way I do. I didn't know and now I still don't know. I did tell her about my dreams nightmares and how they affect me. She said they...
    existJenna existJenna
    16-17, F
    Aug 27, 2015

    They told me I used to be a really nice kid.

    That I was always kind. And I talked to people all the time. They said I used to laugh, smile, and cry. They say they wish I would go back. I would, but I don't remember those days. They sound like a lot of fun though. They don't understand what happened to me, but I think I...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 11, 2015
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