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I Am Starting Over

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 383 People

    Namaste

    simplicity of breath tracing thread through the whirling of lovemaking and the arms of sleep managing to feed both flame and infant hemoglobin our edges soften when the stitches are examined candle leaves and pores clasp mirrored light in each other we belong
    Searchingformyshalom Searchingformyshalom 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2013

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    They say you are the driver of your own car in

    life. Well my car has been on the side of the road for a while. The last 5 years I've been on standstill smoking weed. There's the person I am today and the person I've always imagined myself growing into. I'm disappointing myself. I feel like I'm nearly half of the person I...
    TheHumanExperience TheHumanExperience 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 11, 2014

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    Well I took the step off the cliff

    and left my emotionally abusive husband two years ago now. I am still living with my parents and living on public assistance which will end in a few months and I am no closer to finding work. How can I start over when my resume shows no references or work history?? I feel stuck...
    Misfire68 Misfire68 46-50, F 4 Responses Jan 13, 2014

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    Anew

    So I hired a lawyer on Wednesday. What a way to be ushered into adulthood, huh? I really didn't think I would ever have to be one of those litigious Americans that sued people, but since I also dropped out of college this week due to the lasting effects of a bran injury, I am...
    Searchingformyshalom Searchingformyshalom 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    Erfahrung - Erlebnis -Erkenntnis -Entschluss -

    Handeln - neue Ordnung. More about this in my blog. And I have to admit, it's damn scary in-between.
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F Jan 19

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    Not Feeling Loved

    I have been trying to change some things going on 2 years not.  Some things I have changed.  I am married and I have know one to talk to.  I have been talking to my Lord and Savior but I have been disappointed.  Whom I am married to doesn't want to hear it...
    iamchanging iamchanging 36-40, F 7 Responses Oct 14, 2010

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    The new year is rapidly approaching,

    barrelling down upon me like a freight train. This year will be different than every of year past in my life. See, for the very first time in my 42 years I will start this year alone. Perpetually abandoned, yet I do not despair. My childhood I had my great grandmother to...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    I've burned too many bridges in my life already.

    From now on I'm focusing on making connection built on solid foundation and strengthening those that have already been established. Better to create than destroy. (For the most part.)
    AntonioDB AntonioDB 22-25, M Sep 23, 2014

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    Back to square one Ep.

    Just me, my son, and school. I blocked everyone involved. Cleaned out my boookbag, and soon to will clean out my car, room, and phone. No more of the shanigans. I have a lot to offer to just settle for anything. I feel a lot better. No more tears! No more begging! No more...
    justasia justasia 18-21, F Feb 25

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    Almost The Same As I Was In College

    Had a house, cars, land, and was working it well.   Then the divorce happened, I walked away from it all and took a good share of the credit card debt with me, leaving the house note and a note from a previous house that wasn't on the title to her.  Was I scared?  Oh yea...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 15, 2012

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    My Last Chance .

    I am at a period in my life of upheaval and displacement , it is happening for a reason . I am not going through all of these struggles for nothing , I know it's the new chapter . I have lied to myself too often in the past but I am finally becoming honest with myself and others...
    Smackhead Smackhead 70+, F May 25, 2013

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    The Re-birth Of Me

    Generally speaking I rebirth every seven years, it starts with an epiphany of some sort, the last one the result of a near death experience and a well set resolve to take better care of myself. This time however it comes only as an act of self love and acceptance, granted I did...
    MaoriMis MaoriMis 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 12, 2011

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    And it sucks! For all my friends

    that I had made and all my stories and experiences that I had I lost because for some unknown reason I tried to logon to EP and it wouldn't except my password or username of which I know where and are correct so I had to redo my account. My username was Maturemuff54 it is now...
    maturemuff55 maturemuff55 56-60, F 18 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    I must learn to love myself

    once again before I love another.. <<Note to self... I have faith in myself that I will get there once again after picking up all the broken peices.
    xxmeandonlymexx xxmeandonlymexx 26-30, F Apr 4

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    Cleanse

    let sweat pour hunger pains ravish an absence of mother tongues and the false love of screens lock the darkened tank body contorted eyes closed connect with the upward confined giving way to inner space wandering giving way to focus effortless peace finding a home in skull...
    Searchingformyshalom Searchingformyshalom 22-25, F Jun 4, 2013

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    A New Year!!!

    I read a story in this group by Santana Rex... he said.... So it is a new year, new challenges, new firsts for me, and I know it is time to embrace the new path that has been laid before me and accept that I am starting over and that is just the way it is - I can remember...
    ericalee4 ericalee4 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2009

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    Not There Yet

    There have been many things happening in my life since I have last written. I have met a new soul mate and lover. She is hard to describe becase we connect so well. In some ways our relationship is complicated because our love is so deep and it came about so fast. In other ways...
    OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 11 Responses Jun 21, 2012

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    Everything Is Different Now

    2008 was a year that saw alot of changes in my life. My wife passed away in July we had been married for over 23 years, and she was my best friend for 27 years. We had three children 2 boys, 18 and 22, and a daughter who is 20. My oldest was going to the local community college...
    SantanaRex SantanaRex 46-50, M 6 Responses Jan 2, 2009

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    Tough Choices

    I talked to my oldest son who lives out of state. He has been angry with me about the divorce and about being caught in the middle of everything. His anger has changed based on the circumstance and on his latest talk with my stbx. His views are sometimes contradict themselves and...
    OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 1 Response Dec 27, 2012

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    Rebuilding a Life

      I just left a sexless marriage which had me entangled for almost 7 years. It was a quagmire from beginning to end, and I only discovered what a truly bad idea the wedding was after said wedding was over. I ended up moving back home. I have been here two weeks...
    serenityprayer serenityprayer 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 13, 2009

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    My 17 Year Old Son Is Blackmailing Me

    Yes just when things seem like they have gotten as crazy as they can get my 17 year old offers up a new twist to my situation, blackmail! He has been talking to his best friend's ex girlfriend who lives in another city 45 min to an hour from here. He want to take her to a movie...
    OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 8 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    Quitting The Nairobi Trio

    Today I've decided to do what I've been thinking about for a long time. I will no longer placate a person who is basically emotionless and passionless. I will no longer walk on eggshells nor bend over backwards to please this person who simply doesn't seem to appreciate it. I...
    lightpainter lightpainter 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 27, 2012

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    Beginning again...clean slate.

    It's interesting being in an adult relationship vs teenager...three years after I left my marriage, at the urging of my family, I began dating...after a few...um...hmm...learning lessons, I met a wonderful man. We both have children, so respect and understanding were...
    Hugmybear Hugmybear 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    Blind date...hmmm...I've had quite a few over

    the last 8 months, some memorable for the "impact" of "could this conversation get any worse..?" Some I had a great time talking to, one turned into a 7 month r-e-l-a-t...yeah, that's as far as my brain would allow me to go. I had blind date for coffee yesterday and honestly...
    Hugmybear Hugmybear 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

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    this is a new year so everything

    that happened last year, happened last year no need to bring up the past
    jxmmi jxmmi 18-21, M Jan 16

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    Was 1 1/2 months clean,

    back to stage1... Gotta wear jumpers now...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    Stuck On 73%

    To those great people who have been following my saga on EP thanks for your kind words and support. The latest news isn't news at all. My stbx and her sister in law lawyer are still asking for 73% of my net income. I no longer worry about it as the figure it so pathetic it needs...
    OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 12 Responses Aug 8, 2012

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    So, I taught myself how to play piano in

    primary school, between age 10-12 but had to stop when I joined a boarding school . I picked it up again after the end of high school at age 17 but it wasn't really the same as it had been before.... infinite passion, yes,.... but all the skills learnt were either very rusty or...
    wednesdaychildke wednesdaychildke 22-25, F Aug 5, 2014

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    Deleted half the people in my circle,

    and I'm starting fresh. I've come to realize that I don't deserve love, and its perks...if I have to be lonely for the rest of my life just so my mom won't stress me out to the point of migraines, then it's worth it.
    Nixismachina Nixismachina 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    How do you safely navigate the waters between

    dating someone and staying friends? It was a good break and I'm learning it's because we both desperately need to take that breath in our own lives. When you still care about someone, there's a fine line between showing that and becoming a stalker...hmm.... I rode my bicycle...
    Hugmybear Hugmybear 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    "Brainstorming The Rain"

    As I sit on my front porch watching the rain hit all of mother nature's beautiful surroundings in sight, I feel calm, relaxed and most of all soothed by the sound and breeze blowing past me.. I have to admit I am no longer feeling as overwhelmed with the usual everyday stresses...
    xxmeandonlymexx xxmeandonlymexx 26-30, F Nov 22, 2013

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    Starting From Scratch Again...

    Trying to learn my from past mistakes, and not make them again. Starting at rock bottom, with nothing. Unfortunately, already making mistakes again. Putting on the brakes, taking a step back. Willing to make new friends, but not willing to tell my life story again. Most days, I...
    MizzyH MizzyH 41-45, F Nov 16, 2013

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    How Many Times Do I Need To Start Over

    I am still trying to get a life here. I left my abusive sexless marriage over 20 months and had a relationship that did not work out and right now I over worked and in huge financial trouble. there is no end in sight and I do not know how much longer I can last.
    OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 5 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    I guess I might as well.

    It's been a long road here but I just gotta wipe my slate and reorganize myself. It makes me sad but I know I'll be happier for it. I just hope I can get through it all ok. One day this will be the moment I started toward happiness, and I will feel so much better then.
    seasalticecream seasalticecream 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 16, 2013

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    Starting Over.

    Is it too late? I am leaving a relationship of 15 years. We are selling our home. I have started packing boxes. I will be starting all over again in an apartment. Splitting everything up. All the furniture and belongings. Its a lot of work! I am giving up my equity for my own...
    seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime 36-40, F 5 Responses May 13, 2012

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    cailinAlainn cailinAlainn 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    Starting Over, Finding My Path

    I'm starting over, looking for the place I call home for the first time in my adult life.Everywhere I have lived before was just a place to eat and sleep and kinda hang out. It never really felt like home. Part of starting over  had to do with needing to get away from people...
    roadmaptome roadmaptome 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 3, 2011

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    lovelychickadee lovelychickadee 36-40, F Jun 27

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    I'm ending a current career choice to follow my

    actual dreams. For so long I been scared to really go out on a limb. I have been baking in the us army for about 2 years and I picked up some skills but I still need more training. I Have Always Had A Passion For Food And How IT Works For Your Body. Since my time in the military...
    tallgal14 tallgal14 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    Started over on Jan 2,

    2015 and have been going strong! It feels good
    ElissaAcosta ElissaAcosta 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    OMDG. It's been an extremely tough,

    painful and exhausting path. I'm leaving behind constructs and contracts that kept me down and held me back and I'm starting over. In my heart, I'm ready and willing to live my life more authentically. All I now need is one small shift of the pieces, so that I can move into my...
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F 7 Responses Apr 1

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    Yesterday I took a big step

    and per registered for driver’s education classes then today I signed the contract for the class. At first I was a little nervous even when I called a cab to take me to the driving school I was thinking is this right thing to do? When I got home I had a little bit of buyers...
    vassalordreader vassalordreader 31-35 Jul 2, 2014

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    Fun story. I randomly clicked on this group

    from my profile a long time ago. I found that in November I posted here saying I wanted to destroy what was left of myself. A few weeks later I tried just that by attempting suicide. Thats a trip to see in retrospect. I mixed up growth with destruction. I have started over and...
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 1 Response Jun 2

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    I have to find a new ICE.

    I guess that really defines when a marriage is over in the 21st century. I was doing so good emotionally. You had almost become someone I used to know. You know every button to push, the proper sequencing to destroy me. Why can't you live your life and let me be? I locked...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 5, 2013

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    Leaving a marriage that has sucked the life out

    of me. Getting my own place, taking control of my own life. Meeting new people, planning an adventurous trip. Starting again is scary, but I'm so excited to find ME again.
    secretsnvrtobetold secretsnvrtobetold 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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