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I Am Still Recovering

Recovery is a process. 317 People

    Recovery-july 4, 2013 At 8:36 Am.

    Recovery! I am in recovery! LOL. Sounds a bit like I am recovering some furniture. I am recovering myself! Listen! What does recovery mean? As defined, it means regaining or improving a former condition. And it also means the regaining of something lost. Many of us think of...
    PoetryNEmotion PoetryNEmotion 51-55, F 1 Response Jul 4, 2013

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    Relapse

    I recently relapsed.ive been smoking meth for the past week and a half everyday.i want to stop-i think im getting sucked in again.Do i have to go back into treatment or can  i just go everyday next week to NA meetings. I dont even have a sponser yet and i think thats why...
    angelwingz angelwingz 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    Hello, I don't know why I'm addressing this

    as if I'm talking to someone but I think it's nice to think I'm talking to someone else. These posts are mostly for me to see my growth but it doesn't matter. Anyways, what I wanted to talk about Is the fact that it's been 2 and a half months and it's the middle of summer. I...
    MorbidRainbow MorbidRainbow 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 14, 2014

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    Grace Over Repression

    I still have days When my wounded self Overrides my hard-earned recovery A vague sub-consciousness Of some debilitating grip Common emotional neglect Useless insecurities and doubts Slithering fears They loom large at times And out of proportion Seems unfair To wage war with the...
    iNtuitiveFEeling iNtuitiveFEeling 51-55, M 1 Response Dec 25, 2012

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    Voices Are Still Here

    I know I said that this will be my positive account but it is so damn hard to think and be positive all the time, to shut up and not listen voices in my head saying: dont eat that, you dont need food, exercise more.. and I am really trying to be better but i just feel such a...
    WayToHappiness WayToHappiness 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 4, 2012

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    I'm trying so hard to be happy,

    and live life in a positive way... But it's so difficult and I want to cut so bad I feel the need to but I don't know if I even care what anyone else will say if they see... Idk what to even do anymore):
    InsecureTiana InsecureTiana 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2014

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    Disordered

    I've been eating disordered since i was 16 years old. I'm 24 now. It started out as anorexia, turned into bulimia, and then binge eating. I am so unhappy with my weight. I've been trying to recover for the past 8 years - a long time to struggle with something that is a daily...
    Mary1634 Mary1634 22-25, F 1 Response May 7, 2011

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    Hey guys. It's been..

    a month+ since everything happened? The depression.. I'm not sure about that but I've surely procrastinated. I was a top student. I'm so behind. Besides that I've been.. hiding myself. Flirting, distracting myself from him. But today he was brought up and now he's back in my...
    ThanhN ThanhN 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2013

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    It's been three years

    since I moved away from where I used to live. I've gotten a lot better but there's still a ways to go. (This is very long so I don't know if anyone will read it.) When I was around 6, I remember always thinking "no one believes me" when I wanted to tell an adult something. At...
    aki98 aki98 16-17, T Apr 1

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    I Won't Lie

    Some nights, many nights, I pace outside the bathroom door. I have felt the weight of last night's meal, heavy, gluey, I have felt it itching to crawl back up my esophagus. Some nights, well. (I won't lie.) But this night, many nights, I turn away, Back to bed, back to sleep.
    mariacaterina mariacaterina 16-17, F Dec 30, 2012

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    I See That Light At The End Of The Tunnel!

    And I'm not on any pink cloud, just working on the whole positive thing. I can do this, regardless what people think or do. I finally have hope, and that's something I'm proud of.
    Kidd12 Kidd12 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 14, 2012

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    UndyingLovatic UndyingLovatic 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    Always Recovering,never Recovered

    First AA meeting in 1977.According to statistics will never get my "diploma"recovering is a lifetime thing.no longer attend meetings,81 and shut in cause of health.AA was (is) the best thing ever happened to me,Forever grateful,Pray others that need help find it or...
    foreverme foreverme 66-70, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    It's been about what,

    a week since I experienced my "heartbreak"? Don't get me wrong; my heart still aches for him. But I'm getting better. I haven't cried every single minute to the hour. But I decided to catch up with family and friends. And it feels pretty good, very exciting. I don't know how...
    ThanhN ThanhN 16-17, F Dec 1, 2013

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    I finally found a name.

    I mean I'm not all of the things listed but it does accurately describe a lot. http://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/00011992
    ShyGuy990 ShyGuy990 22-25, M Feb 2

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    Trying To Recover

    Some of you may know me as NeverThinEnough... that is my old depressed, anorexic account here, on EP... but i decided to recover from anorexia. It is hard, you know, like - sometimes you feel like you can beat this and you eat,you feel happy, you feel full of motivation and...
    WayToHappiness WayToHappiness 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2012

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    Recovery Is A Journey...

    I truly believe this.I am recovering from a number of issues in my life, and I always will be until the day I die.The first step in my recovery was to recognise and also accept that I have a problem and things need to change. And I need to keep reminding myself of this. Then I...
    GreenMonsterGal GreenMonsterGal 22-25 1 Response May 8, 2011

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    I've had various eating disorders

    for the last six and a half years. (That number makes me so angry, and sad.) I've been actively trying to recover (on my own) for about a year/a year and a half now, with not much success. The hardest part (if I had to choose one) is probably the constant fight that goes on...
    letsmakeithappen letsmakeithappen 22-25, F Jan 18, 2014

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    Imbatgirl Imbatgirl 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2014

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    A Day In The Life Of A Nobody.

    Major depression. Cyclothymia. Schizotypal. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Self harm. Lie. Razors. Suicide. Therapy. Pills. Overdose. Suicide. Lie. Mental hospital. Lie. Suicide. Overdose. Cut. Cut. Cut. Lie. Therapy. Overdose. Suicide. Mental hospital. Molested. Lie. Overdose...
    somethingbecomingnothing somethingbecomingnothing 18-21, F Sep 3, 2012

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    Not Working...

    It seems like i will never be happy about my look and my body... i think almost every day how i should starve myself again to become skinny again and i feel like i am getting fat, i suppose i am getting fat because i eat more, but my friends tell me that i look the same as before...
    WayToHappiness WayToHappiness 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2012

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    Our Path - February 19

    I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 18, 2013

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    maddisonn maddisonn 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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    How To Recover Pictures And Video From Kingston Sdhc Card?

    What’s SDHC card?SDHC (Secure Digital High Capacity) is an extension of the SD standard which increases card’s storage capacity up to 32 GB. Its family includes SDHC, miniSDHC and microSDHC, and they have a capacity of 4GB to 32GB. It is FAT32 file system. SDHC cards share...
    maggiena maggiena 26-30, F May 17, 2011

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    Time That Has Past But Still Hangs Over Head...

    So last March i had a major breakdown... I had been having a lot of problems with depression... I took my life into my own hands and swallowed enough anti depressants to put myself into respiratory arrest, damage my liver and kidneys, and give myself a sever case of pneumonia...
    Thatguywiththebluehair Thatguywiththebluehair 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 20, 2011

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    Bipolar and Drug and Alcohol Problems

    I have been drinking for years and have always abused substances. After being told for at least 2 years I had a problem i finally seeked help. I went to a residential rehab for 3months and tried really hard and learned a lot. I managed to stay clean for 7 months. I was drinking...
    fergyshmerg fergyshmerg 31-35 1 Response Jul 15, 2009

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    Fighting For Freedom

    When I think back to my dark times, I remember that they were only a few weeks ago. Sometimes I miss them as odd as it may seem. Not eating and throwing up everyday made me feel strong. I thought I was strong for hurting myself. Three days after I started recovery I descovered a...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F Sep 13, 2012

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    Living In The Present - February 21

    The present moment is all we have. Yes, we have plans and goals, a vision for tomorrow. But now is the only time we possess. And it is enough. We can clear our mind of the residue of yesterday. We can clear our mind of fears of tomorrow. We can be present, now. We can make...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 21, 2013

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    Today's One Sentence Inspiration

    I may have escaped the blaming eyes of my mother, and the reproachful eyes of my brother, but I cannot escape myself. The only thing that I can do to save myself is to stop obsessing over my past and let go of my resentments. I need to only focus on today, and keep working...
    RLLauren RLLauren 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2013

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    Since 3 years I had depressions.

    I lived in a small town in Germany and my class hated me. From the very first moment 'til the last I had there.In 7th grade they started bullying me, I thought about suicide and started cutting.I stopped for a few months, started again. When I wasn't cutting I hit myself, took...
    LilySophieGreen LilySophieGreen 16-17, F May 26, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I had a friend for 25 years. The last two we fell in love. we spent a few years breaking up an getting back together. She cheated on my and i still obsessively tied to be with her...
    thetripcontinues thetripcontinues 36-40, M 17 hrs ago

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    about 4 years ago I went to the doctor to ask about my problems with my stomache. he poked and proded and said it might be this it might be that. so i had a few tests nothing came...
    MisterHeart MisterHeart 26-30, T 2 Responses May 6

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    I've bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. As a child I bit my fingernails and toenails (gross, I know). I stopped biting my toenails probably around the age of 8, maybe 9...
    wxitch wxitch 16-17, F Apr 28

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    I suffer from chronic pain and used that as an excuse to abuse painkillers. Before I knew it my life was filled with voids. Gaps that I don't remember. Gaps that scare me...
    CainMarko CainMarko 26-30, M May 8

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    20 months sober!My life is so insanely different that sometimes I have to stop and rest just to take it all in. 2015 so far has been about as spectacular as it could have been.I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Self harming sucks. It's not fun, it's not beautiful, it's harmful and ugly. I almost relapsed today, it was really scary. I hate that I'm afraid to let myself go near sharp...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 16-17, T 2 Responses May 9

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    When I was about 9 years old, I go to my cousin's house with my father and my uncle to see a football game. My uncle was (and still is) deeply in love with his team... And this...
    pansexualgirl pansexualgirl 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm completely over him, because I'm not. I still miss talking to him and the way he made me feel, but I don't miss the times I cried over him and...
    Photographybrat Photographybrat 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    It's eerie without her. For 35 years, I have worked alongside this woman, but now she's gone. Quit without a word of warning. Poof. Nothing but a note to our boss and her key to...
    angsty angsty 61-65, F 2 Responses May 9

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    A beautiful tale for adults who wander and dream . The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams HERE was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was...
    birdsrestingonabranch birdsrestingonabranch 22-25, F 1 Response May 16

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    There are nights when the silence creeps up on me and you cross my mind. I don't mean to think about you but I do. I don't mean to miss you but I do. I know I'm the one who ended...
    Girl12335 Girl12335 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Here it is... The story of me and my first love. Currently, I am so confused about where to share my feelings and I want to thank this site for letting me release my emotions...
    ApplePamilar ApplePamilar 18-21, F 1 Response May 5

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    he is so confusing. so its been two years since we split and we still haven't even started our divorce. I don't really want to but he's engaged for a few months now but still hasn...
    happyboxy happyboxy 22-25, F 1 Response May 10

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    Holy validation. I've basically spent the last 4 years thinking I have a psychotic obsession. But other people feel this too so I'm not alone! Just know that I spent a few hours...
    lrh26540 lrh26540 18-21, F May 11

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    I'm too raw. I'm too open to meet anybody new. It's not like I have a wingman to help me though this stage... Finding someone to get over you like you have done so well. In this...