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I Am Struggling Not To Fall Apart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 852 People

    He Called To Ask If I'm Already OK

    so last night, he called just to ask if i'm already OK. if my feelings for him were gone now. it's only a week after i told him what i feel for him --- i only got a 'thank you. it will soon pass' answer in return. ouch. told him i'm OK though i still feel the same way for him...
    jenlie jenlie 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 24, 2013

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    michellesydney michellesydney 18-21, F 4 Responses May 28

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    You ask yourself- why me?

    Then you think- why not me?
    khokho204 khokho204 16-17, F Dec 23, 2013

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    I Know

    I have a feeling this is all going to fall apart. Everything else already is. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted, but I know that something is going to happen, it always does. I just hope you can say no. I love you more than anything in this world. I wish you could...
    demonology demonology 18-21, F 2 Responses May 18, 2011

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    Darkness

    I posted this poem that I wrote on another group, but it is pretty much my story for this group too. The whole I’ve dug is deep The tears that I would weep Are stuck inside my soul For weakness I would show If I were to let them out So I cannot scream and shout Instead I die...
    darkerside16 darkerside16 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2010

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    In February of last year,

    my boyfriend died. He was such a great guy. He had a heart attack. We were together for a little over 10 years. We were living together, even though I still had my own apartment. I am a teacher in a private school, where living together was against the moral code. But I didn't...
    QCAteacher QCAteacher 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    So Sick Of Being In Pain!

    I am in pain everyday from osteo arthritis and structural damage in my spine, I have suffered with depression for approx 30yrs and have been on anti-depressants since my late teens. I took a break from them only when pregnant( twice), have changed them here and there...
    locomama locomama 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 15, 2010

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    Constantly Picking Up The Pieces

    I feel like I have a huge basket of stuff.  That basket keeps on getting knocked over.  Things keep tumbling out. CONSTANTLY PICKING UP THE STUFF. Why does the stuff keep falling out only to go back in. Why does the basket have to stay full of that stuff. Why can't my...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F Mar 26, 2012

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    I've just found this site.

    . I feel I need an outlet as I don't share this with anyone in my life. As the title says, I'm struggling not to fall apart. I sit here on the couch, trying to figure out how to get my life back in order. I'm 37, and to sum up the 'negative' things in my life.. here I go.. I'm...
    jamsh jamsh 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 3

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    Everything going on. All the pressure.

    All the pain. All the loneliness. All the things that I'm unsure of. All the things that go unsaid... Sigh. I just wish that things were better. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm crying, then I'm fine, and now I'm breaking. I just don't know what to do. I have nowhere to go and...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F Dec 19, 2013

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    Oh I Broke Again... Bring The Duct Tape And Glue!

    life is winning right now. nothing is going right.... and im losing people i trust and love. i am losing my hero... i am falling...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 24, 2013

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    Poetry And Random Thoughts 2 A Bit On The Dark Side But Everyone Has One

    I was here but now have gone My emotional torment still lives on From the darkest hours to the brightest days You look to the light to lead the way You search for the meaning but nothing is there Where to go what to do is the question That is always there Never knowing the...
    addicted214e addicted214e 26-30, M Nov 30, 2010

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    How Many Times Have I Been In This Situation?

    we start out with something little and it quickly escalates to the situation i'm now in. i'm only 18, and he's only 17. shouldnt we be having fun falling in love and everything? as cliche as it sounds thats how it should be. i'm tired of fighting and i'm tired of being called a...
    justwanthappiness justwanthappiness 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2011

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    Our Federal System Is Driving Me Insane

    So ive been going back and forth with the social security office. Ive been trying to change my daughters insurance to strait medicaid because the past 5 months my daughter hasnt been getting the physical therapy she needed because "we dont except her insurance".... I'm mad...
    a13m94 a13m94 18-21, F Nov 15, 2013

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    Iam a kid in foster care.

    My dad raped my 2 out of 3 sisters before I was born. I was once a kid who had good grades stayed out of trouble never seen drugs in my life. But now I've been expelled from 4 schools do weed have over 18 different pipes and bongs my grades suck I joined the gang I live by...
    bman353 bman353 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 7

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    I Have Been In Denial

    I have been throught a lot in my life but one of the worst phases I have ever been through was during my sophomore year in high school when I was anorexic for about 10 months. I thought I had recovered when my family and I started to get along better, made more friends, switched...
    thesuitelife285 thesuitelife285 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 28, 2010

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    I Say I Love Her Yet She Dates Other Guys

    She asked me if I still loved her the other day an I said yes. She then said she loved me too. Then in the same sentence she says she is dating another guy ( her 5th since I first told her I loved her). She also told me that if it doesn't work with that guy she would give "us" a...
    allalone101 allalone101 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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    Each Time You Say Goodbye

    If only time can stand still,I count the seconds when you will say good byeKnowing I will be facing yet anothernight all by myselfI weep in the silence of the nightFearing yet another night of lonelinessI still can't get used to the absence of youEach time you say good bye it...
    Jay04Sch Jay04Sch 36-40, F Jan 22, 2013

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    I'm Destroying Myself... I Think I Need Help.

    This weekend I went to visit my boyfriend, and everything was great the first night was amazing, as usual and the second one we were chilling and having a couple of drinks before we headed out. We talked a lot, then went to the pub, drank a couple of drinks and headed to the club...
    shesnotagirl shesnotagirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 5, 2010

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    Poetry And Random Thoughts 3 A Bit On The Dark Side But Everyone Has One

    As I lay here thinking about what has has went wrong  Just trying to live and not pass on the thoughts are here And the thoughts are there but when do we say I am done Lets all take time to think and time to wish all in all I am done with this Wish you were here to share my...
    addicted214e addicted214e 26-30, M Nov 30, 2010

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    It Is What It Is

    I live alone,single,I rent a small basement apartment to a gay man that Ive known an been in love with all my life. My home is for sale to the highest bitter,been here most my life,Im in Debt,I have a dead end job,have no idea were to move too or want to buy when this place sales...
    Pearlvision Pearlvision 46-50, F Aug 18, 2013

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    All The Friends I Made Gone

    I made alot of friends at this camp I went to for a month I even met a girl. I thought I would be fine leaving but now I am laying on the floor in my room at 1:30 am unable to stop thinking about them. Why can't I forget and go back to being a little depressed instead feeling...
    allalone101 allalone101 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 1, 2011

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    Whats Going On...

    Well today was the start of something big for me. I have started treatment for a blood disease. I have been worried about it since i found out i had it. Which was last year,but apparently i may have had it for 10-15 years.It affects the liver but after all the scans and tests...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 31, 2011

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    Giving Up Is Easy....

    There are times where all I want to do is give up. Where going to sleep and never waking up seems like bliss. But then I remember what I have, who I have. I remember my girlfriend for one, and that always gives me the strength to keep going.... Giving up is the easy, and I have...
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2010

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    I let him back in, let myself fall,

    and lost again. I'm done. I'm done trying. I accept that this is the way my life is now. Or at least I will, when I stop crying.
    CountrySlicker CountrySlicker 51-55, F Jul 3

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    Oh Please Stop The Pain!!!!!

    The panic attacks are back. The episodes of delusion kick in and I scream at any and everyone that gets in my way. I break a lamp and throw a chair across the room. I spill paint on the floor. I throw myself into a raging fit and pull a pocket knife out,putting it to my throat...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F Jul 17, 2013

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    Help

    first off, my boyfriend lives in canada and i live in the US so it is difficult for us to see each other often because of money issues and schooling. anyways, last month, he found out that his uncle got into a car accident and passed away. he didn't know how to react or how to...
    bostongirl101 bostongirl101 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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    Its So Hard

    sometime i think that i must be the most inconsiderate person in the world. i have brains, looks and a great boyfriend; but i still feel as thought everything might fall apart. there is some sort of darkness festering inside of me. i try to tell them, but i cant make them...
    slideways slideways 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 14, 2010

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    Overwhelmed By This Life Of Mine

    I am struggling not to fall apart,to just disappear from the world.Sometimes I get into a depressed state and wonder why I'm still here,breathing,living,when I feel as though I have no purpose.I don't talk about it,I don't ask for help.I'm afraid to be weak,afraid to show people...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2012

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    ...

    I can't give up without a fight, I have been fighting for the past 3 years just too keep on breathing, to try and beat the depression, but sometimes. I really don't think I have it in me anymore to keep on fighting, but I am trying, and I will keep trying, till i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 6, 2010

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    Even with saying how I'm really feeling,

    I do feel a little relieved, but I'm still not the same person I was before.
    khokho204 khokho204 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 12, 2013

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    The Final Breaths

    I went to see my therapist today and its just made things worse. I feel like giving up. I feel so hopeless and useless. Depression has taken over my life. I'm unable to do anything without feeling sad. I just don't even know what to do anymore and its killing me inside. Taking my...
    tornapart123 tornapart123 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2013

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    I Am Really

    i am really struggling right now because of what my dad did to me a few days ago and the first time since i am starting to see the light with some advice from my counseler and good friends like katie and james and some other from EP, and the first time i feel really good and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    My parents have split up,

    schools annoying, I go to an all girls school (which sucks as I have heaps of guy friends), other girls are constantly annoying. I started high-school this year and made some new friends in my form class; and I've watched them change so much. They've become kind of badasses...
    horseyxlover horseyxlover 13-15, F Jun 7

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    Killing Me Slowly

    Everyday is a struggle,just to get through the seconds,minutes,hours and days.I'm feeling lost and confused about a lot of things.I try not to over think,to live in the moment,but,sometimes my thoughts consume me and I feel as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2012

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    Just Keep Smiling

    If I put on a happy face and just keep smiling people will think that I am ok. I am actually far from ok. Its getting harder to put on that happy face. There is not one day that passes where I dont think about what if.... What if I could just be happy? What if I could make...
    ilovenature ilovenature 22-25 2 Responses Sep 21, 2011

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    It's one of those nights

    where everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I am at the point of just giving up. I'm so unhappy and I don't see the silver lining anywhere near. I have forced myself ever day to put on a smile and pretend that everything is okay when it's clearly not. And for what?! For...
    SkinnyDepression SkinnyDepression 22-25, F 1 Response May 25

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    Just Letting It Out

    My fake self is amazing. She laughs at the right times, says the right things, nods at the right moment. I call my fake self Jack.Explanation: Sometimes when I'm bored at night I think of how my day’s events would be narrated. ... "She walked into the kitchen thinking she was...
    hatethestress hatethestress 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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    Reach Out For Help And Get Smack In The Face

    To give all the details would take to long.  I will say though you can't choose your siblings.  I have found out the hard way that blood does nothing other than make you have to answer more questions in my family.  I fought going to my family for years.  They all have very...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    Hurt Me

    I am sitting here typing this, fighting back tears. Tears that tear me apart.Im like the tinmanI need the wizard to bring me a heart.Thousands of tears have streamed down my faceNone of them help meall they do is hurtHurt me....Hurt meHurt meIs all that runs through my mindBut...
    juliathompson101 juliathompson101 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 19, 2011

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    I'm So Confused ..

    trying to deal with a couple of issues has been part of my life for a good three years now ... things started going pear-shaped at home when i was like, 12, but when i hit 14/15 it got worse, and again now, its getting worse again.  then throw in on top of that health problems...
    CrystalAzure CrystalAzure 18-21 2 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    What Left Of Me

    When ever i move forwardif feel like a piece of meis left behindi falling to pieceand i don't even carewhy should ii'll never be able to put to it backto fix itto being repairso i just leave itleave it behindi walk aroundleaving trails of mei try to hold togetherbut the pieces...
    invisiblegirl904 invisiblegirl904 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 6, 2011

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    I Am Trying...very Hard

    I can be alright one minute....teary the next.... I can be smiling outside ...but deep within, I am aching... I can fake a laughter on gtalk and email....but sitting in front of this pc is a lady whose eyes has lose its glow ... I can tell you 'its alright, i'll pull thru...
    Eternal Eternal 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 26, 2010

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    last night, my friend made me promise

    that i would stop skipping meals, but its sooo hard. i really wanna keep skipping breakfast (usual meal that i skip) and ugh it's just so hard to eat. i don't want to.
    imhereandnot imhereandnot 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    I'M Struggling Not To Fall Apart

    Adult life is hard. Some make it some dont. If your from a good family you will go to a good school get good grades go to Uni get a degree and then life starts. If your from a poorer family and go to a crappy school your parents split up and it affects your exams(like me) i have...
    defoekeane defoekeane 36-40, M Jun 22, 2013

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    Going Crazy

    I am looking for advise from others that might have or had similar experiences with loved ones with a mental illness. I have 2 adult children with Bipolar disorder and my boyfriend of 5 years has schizoaffective disorder and myself with dystemia disorder. And, as of the first he...
    shawnee2013 shawnee2013 46-50, F Jul 24, 2013

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    I say my kids keep me going

    and it's really true. I have a husband who I am growing to despise. Every time I think i can fall for him again he does something so rude and hurtful it reverses it all. I am beginning to think marriage is unnatural.
    writerchic writerchic 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    Any Second Now

    I'm going to fall, more likely jump. In the past two months my entire world has just completely ****** up. Jenna's gone, my Dad's in jail and my Mom passed away in June. I have no one left to talk to; no one left to catch me. And when I do fall, I'll be sure to tell you about it...
    LovelyElla LovelyElla 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 24, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    A few months ago my brother was arrested and is now on bail till the 8th December (1 day before his birthday). I am 14 years old and I feel like my family is falling apart as there...
    MimiChim MimiChim 13-15, F Sep 6

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    I really hate what's happened, I hate the fact I cant be with you everyday like we used to be, Im falling apart without you.
    Verix Verix 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 27

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    I can't believe I was actually considering going out clubbing tonight, like me of all people, who hates socialising like that and who hates drinking, I'm so glad I decided not to...
    Verix Verix 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 29

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    I am so upset right now. My dad's leaving me again and I am not even there to see him off. I am just now letting myself cry. I have to deal with this friend who over exaggerates...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 13-15, F Aug 22

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    My head hurts!!!!! Stupid, stupid, stupid.
    stephiwayland stephiwayland 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 26