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I Am Struggling Not To Fall Apart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,133 People

    I really need something good to happen in my

    life. Like really soon. Every time I turn around something else has broken and I am too sick and tired to have any hope left. really close to giving up
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 24

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    In February of last year,

    my boyfriend died. He was such a great guy. He had a heart attack. We were together for a little over 10 years. We were living together, even though I still had my own apartment. I am a teacher in a private school, where living together was against the moral code. But I didn't...
    QCAteacher QCAteacher 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    Johnny cash said love would burn.

    I never though it'd hurt this bad.
    TheFlamingLips TheFlamingLips 18-21, M Nov 19

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    My parents have split up,

    schools annoying, I go to an all girls school (which sucks as I have heaps of guy friends), other girls are constantly annoying. I started high-school this year and made some new friends in my form class; and I've watched them change so much. They've become kind of badasses...
    horseyxlover horseyxlover 13-15, F Jun 7

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    my emotions are on a roller coaster ride.

    I spend days crying, I cannot deal with anything. I have left and moved to another city, but my kids are still with him. it has only been two weeks. I have tried to talk to him, to find out if there is any way to salvage what we had. I get one word responses. its like talking to...
    lisloo007 lisloo007 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 1

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    Giving Up Is Easy....

    There are times where all I want to do is give up. Where going to sleep and never waking up seems like bliss. But then I remember what I have, who I have. I remember my girlfriend for one, and that always gives me the strength to keep going.... Giving up is the easy, and I have...
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2010

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    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F Nov 2

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    How Many Times Have I Been In This Situation?

    we start out with something little and it quickly escalates to the situation i'm now in. i'm only 18, and he's only 17. shouldnt we be having fun falling in love and everything? as cliche as it sounds thats how it should be. i'm tired of fighting and i'm tired of being called a...
    justwanthappiness justwanthappiness 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2011

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    It's one of those nights

    where everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I am at the point of just giving up. I'm so unhappy and I don't see the silver lining anywhere near. I have forced myself ever day to put on a smile and pretend that everything is okay when it's clearly not. And for what?! For...
    SkinnyDepression SkinnyDepression 22-25, F 1 Response May 25

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    Everyday I struggle to get out of bed

    and start my day, I keep compromising my life to settle and be grateful but what if I wanted more am I a bad person for wanting to fight for a life I want, I want to live live in a life filled with colors but I keep living in black and white, I can't really be happy because Im...
    catxfreak catxfreak 18-21, F Nov 2

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    I've just found this site.

    . I feel I need an outlet as I don't share this with anyone in my life. As the title says, I'm struggling not to fall apart. I sit here on the couch, trying to figure out how to get my life back in order. I'm 37, and to sum up the 'negative' things in my life.. here I go.. I'm...
    jamsh jamsh 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 3

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    Iam a kid in foster care.

    My dad raped my 2 out of 3 sisters before I was born. I was once a kid who had good grades stayed out of trouble never seen drugs in my life. But now I've been expelled from 4 schools do weed have over 18 different pipes and bongs my grades suck I joined the gang I live by...
    bman353 bman353 13-15, M 3 Responses Jun 7

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    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 28

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    well it finally happened.

    my mom, the one person in the world I could always go to when I was struggling has grown tired of hearing my issues. I certainly don't blame her. when I struggle more days than not, it can get old to hear the same crap over and over. but now it's left me truly alone. home sick...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    So Sick Of Being In Pain!

    I am in pain everyday from osteo arthritis and structural damage in my spine, I have suffered with depression for approx 30yrs and have been on anti-depressants since my late teens. I took a break from them only when pregnant( twice), have changed them here and there...
    locomama locomama 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 15, 2010

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    I need to stop moaning

    and complaing about my break up. but I'm in bits. My ex is completely fine which makes it hurt even more. I try every day to be happy and fine but it's to much I can't do it.
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 24

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    I'm a complete idiot!

    I do realize this somewhere deep inside. Doesn't make the heart ache any less. I stood by as a not so innocent bystander and watched him literally rip my best friends heart out and show almost no remorse for it. Very little empathy for her. My heart broke for her and my...
    mmarno mmarno 31-35, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I guess i can say that i already fell apart,

    im slowly picking up the pieces to put myself back together. Its not easy, I know that i am worth it. I don't ever give up on myself that is one of the strongest strengths that god has blessed me with, and i am trully greatful ??
    Andrea408 Andrea408 22-25 2 Responses Nov 5

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    You ask yourself- why me?

    Then you think- why not me?
    khokho204 khokho204 16-17, F Dec 23, 2013

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    Overwhelmed By This Life Of Mine

    I am struggling not to fall apart,to just disappear from the world.Sometimes I get into a depressed state and wonder why I'm still here,breathing,living,when I feel as though I have no purpose.I don't talk about it,I don't ask for help.I'm afraid to be weak,afraid to show people...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2012

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    Even with saying how I'm really feeling,

    I do feel a little relieved, but I'm still not the same person I was before.
    khokho204 khokho204 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 12, 2013

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    I'm staring at mirror with tears streaming down

    my face and I'm begging myself to stay strong.
    staystrongandlive staystrongandlive 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 30

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    I let him back in, let myself fall,

    and lost again. I'm done. I'm done trying. I accept that this is the way my life is now. Or at least I will, when I stop crying.
    CountrySlicker CountrySlicker 51-55, F Jul 3

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    I just don't understand how a person can

    continue to hurt you over and over again. Every other day it's the same **** always apologising for the same thing but never change it. You say your sorry and your my husband when it suits you. Gone for days and long ******* nights chasing that ***** called white. I change...
    missy5414 missy5414 36-40, F Nov 21

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    Whats Going On...

    Well today was the start of something big for me. I have started treatment for a blood disease. I have been worried about it since i found out i had it. Which was last year,but apparently i may have had it for 10-15 years.It affects the liver but after all the scans and tests...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 31, 2011

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    everyday battle to try to keep myself together

    I've been through so much it's so hard the only thing keeping me going this long is my family even though my husband has to restrain me sometimes but that's because I an bipolar and have no way to get my medicine.
    babygirlransom babygirlransom 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1

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    Im honestly not okay anymore.

    i can feel it everyday. slowly more and more of me is chipping away.
    BrokenSilence22 BrokenSilence22 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 19

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    Darkness

    I posted this poem that I wrote on another group, but it is pretty much my story for this group too. The whole I’ve dug is deep The tears that I would weep Are stuck inside my soul For weakness I would show If I were to let them out So I cannot scream and shout Instead I die...
    darkerside16 darkerside16 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2010

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    Its So Hard

    sometime i think that i must be the most inconsiderate person in the world. i have brains, looks and a great boyfriend; but i still feel as thought everything might fall apart. there is some sort of darkness festering inside of me. i try to tell them, but i cant make them...
    slideways slideways 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 14, 2010

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    I Am Really

    i am really struggling right now because of what my dad did to me a few days ago and the first time since i am starting to see the light with some advice from my counseler and good friends like katie and james and some other from EP, and the first time i feel really good and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    Just Keep Smiling

    If I put on a happy face and just keep smiling people will think that I am ok. I am actually far from ok. Its getting harder to put on that happy face. There is not one day that passes where I dont think about what if.... What if I could just be happy? What if I could make...
    ilovenature ilovenature 22-25 2 Responses Sep 21, 2011

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    Hurt Me

    I am sitting here typing this, fighting back tears. Tears that tear me apart.Im like the tinmanI need the wizard to bring me a heart.Thousands of tears have streamed down my faceNone of them help meall they do is hurtHurt me....Hurt meHurt meIs all that runs through my mindBut...
    juliathompson101 juliathompson101 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 19, 2011

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    Genuinely starting to worry

    that I'm on the verge of a total meltdown. I'm a broken damaged person. I'm not worthy of Love. I'm disgusted with who I am. I hate myself. How do I keep moving forward.
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 2

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    Iv just started uni. Im not going to lie to you

    all and say its a wish come true! As much as i want to succeed and be a photographer up in London and know i cant get there without this degree ... i cant do this ! Its so hard to get up and motivate to get it done, the wires in my brain are unconnected and when i sit down to my...
    generationlover generationlover 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    Every day is a struggle to keep going.

    I'm so overwhelmed. Just keep crying. Really need to hold it together for my kids, but with all the pressures of life and having chronic illness and worrying about money I wish I had someone to share the burden with. Being a single mom with all of this is a lot. I'm exhausted...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 2

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    Today was bad. Yesterday too.

    I'm sick a lot with a chronic illness and I miss too much work. I'm responsible for my kids. If I lose my job we will lose our house. I have to keep working for the next thirty years but I am so tired, sick and overwhelmed that I can't even handle the thought of tomorrow, much...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 11

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    People find it fun to point out all my flaws

    even though I already see and obsess over them... It doesn't help that I have depression. The girl who was like a sister to me was killed, my uncle committed suicide, both my grandmas died, and my sisters and parents act like they don't care... To put it bluntly, I'm depressed...
    Amy1313 Amy1313 13-15, F Nov 30

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    I Have Been In Denial

    I have been throught a lot in my life but one of the worst phases I have ever been through was during my sophomore year in high school when I was anorexic for about 10 months. I thought I had recovered when my family and I started to get along better, made more friends, switched...
    thesuitelife285 thesuitelife285 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 28, 2010

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    What Left Of Me

    When ever i move forwardif feel like a piece of meis left behindi falling to pieceand i don't even carewhy should ii'll never be able to put to it backto fix itto being repairso i just leave itleave it behindi walk aroundleaving trails of mei try to hold togetherbut the pieces...
    invisiblegirl904 invisiblegirl904 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 6, 2011

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    Killing Me Slowly

    Everyday is a struggle,just to get through the seconds,minutes,hours and days.I'm feeling lost and confused about a lot of things.I try not to over think,to live in the moment,but,sometimes my thoughts consume me and I feel as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2012

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    Today my math teacher asked me

    why I looked sad and I replied with I don't wanna be here and he said I'm sorry I can control that I didn't mean school I meant earth and I though to myself I can control it
    xoxtaylorxox xoxtaylorxox 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 3

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    I Am Trying...very Hard

    I can be alright one minute....teary the next.... I can be smiling outside ...but deep within, I am aching... I can fake a laughter on gtalk and email....but sitting in front of this pc is a lady whose eyes has lose its glow ... I can tell you 'its alright, i'll pull thru...
    Eternal Eternal 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 26, 2010

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    I'm scared. The holidays scare me.

    I just miss my dad honestly. But I'll manage I suppose.
    Kailenalovesyou Kailenalovesyou 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    Everything going on. All the pressure.

    All the pain. All the loneliness. All the things that I'm unsure of. All the things that go unsaid... Sigh. I just wish that things were better. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm crying, then I'm fine, and now I'm breaking. I just don't know what to do. I have nowhere to go and...
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 18-21, F Dec 19, 2013

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    Reach Out For Help And Get Smack In The Face

    To give all the details would take to long.  I will say though you can't choose your siblings.  I have found out the hard way that blood does nothing other than make you have to answer more questions in my family.  I fought going to my family for years.  They all have very...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it, I want to know all the love I’ve got. And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute, I want to know if a curtain...
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    I just wanna say goodbye, than dissapear, forever..
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    the one question staying on my mind is why you keep playing with my heart
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