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I Am Struggling Not To Fall Apart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,656 People

    You ask yourself- why me?

    Then you think- why not me?
    khokho204 khokho204 16-17, F Dec 23, 2013

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    everyday battle to try to keep myself together

    I've been through so much it's so hard the only thing keeping me going this long is my family even though my husband has to restrain me sometimes but that's because I an bipolar and have no way to get my medicine.
    babygirlransom babygirlransom 26-30, F Nov 1, 2014

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    Whats Going On...

    Well today was the start of something big for me. I have started treatment for a blood disease. I have been worried about it since i found out i had it. Which was last year,but apparently i may have had it for 10-15 years.It affects the liver but after all the scans and tests...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 31, 2011

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    I'm scared. The holidays scare me.

    I just miss my dad honestly. But I'll manage I suppose.
    Kailenalovesyou Kailenalovesyou 13-15, F Nov 27, 2014

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    In February of last year,

    my boyfriend died. He was such a great guy. He had a heart attack. We were together for a little over 10 years. We were living together, even though I still had my own apartment. I am a teacher in a private school, where living together was against the moral code. But I didn't...
    QCAteacher QCAteacher 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 4, 2014

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    People around me throw words around

    so carelessly, that sometimes they don't even know it hurts. You do one "bad" thing, you never hear the end of it. You do great in something-- achieve something, sometimes you don't even hear a word about it.
    imaderp imaderp 16-17, F Jul 9

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    my emotions are on a roller coaster ride.

    I spend days crying, I cannot deal with anything. I have left and moved to another city, but my kids are still with him. it has only been two weeks. I have tried to talk to him, to find out if there is any way to salvage what we had. I get one word responses. its like talking to...
    lisloo007 lisloo007 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    Its So Hard

    sometime i think that i must be the most inconsiderate person in the world. i have brains, looks and a great boyfriend; but i still feel as thought everything might fall apart. there is some sort of darkness festering inside of me. i try to tell them, but i cant make them...
    slideways slideways 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 14, 2010

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    Today my math teacher asked me

    why I looked sad and I replied with I don't wanna be here and he said I'm sorry I can control that I didn't mean school I meant earth and I though to myself I can control it
    xoxtaylorxox xoxtaylorxox 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2014

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    Every day is a struggle to keep going.

    I'm so overwhelmed. Just keep crying. Really need to hold it together for my kids, but with all the pressures of life and having chronic illness and worrying about money I wish I had someone to share the burden with. Being a single mom with all of this is a lot. I'm exhausted...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F Nov 2, 2014

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    Darkness

    I posted this poem that I wrote on another group, but it is pretty much my story for this group too. The whole I’ve dug is deep The tears that I would weep Are stuck inside my soul For weakness I would show If I were to let them out So I cannot scream and shout Instead I die...
    darkerside16 darkerside16 22-25 1 Response Dec 10, 2010

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    People find it fun to point out all my flaws

    even though I already see and obsess over them... It doesn't help that I have depression. The girl who was like a sister to me was killed, my uncle committed suicide, both my grandmas died, and my sisters and parents act like they don't care... To put it bluntly, I'm depressed...
    Amy1313 Amy1313 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2014

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    Iv just started uni. Im not going to lie to you

    all and say its a wish come true! As much as i want to succeed and be a photographer up in London and know i cant get there without this degree ... i cant do this ! Its so hard to get up and motivate to get it done, the wires in my brain are unconnected and when i sit down to my...
    generationlover generationlover 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28, 2014

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    I don't really like who I am anymore.

    I'm always so sad. I don't think my heart knows what hope is anymore. There is nothing that can make me smile. Literally nothing. I have so little interest in things. What is happening? Am I already dead? I cry all the time. I don't want ppl to feel sorry for me. I just am at a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 25

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    Im honestly not okay anymore.

    i can feel it everyday. slowly more and more of me is chipping away.
    BrokenSilence22 BrokenSilence22 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    Overwhelmed By This Life Of Mine

    I am struggling not to fall apart,to just disappear from the world.Sometimes I get into a depressed state and wonder why I'm still here,breathing,living,when I feel as though I have no purpose.I don't talk about it,I don't ask for help.I'm afraid to be weak,afraid to show people...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2012

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    I just don't understand how a person can

    continue to hurt you over and over again. Every other day it's the same **** always apologising for the same thing but never change it. You say your sorry and your my husband when it suits you. Gone for days and long ******* nights chasing that ***** called white. I change...
    missy5414 missy5414 36-40, F Nov 21, 2014

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    I Am Trying...very Hard

    I can be alright one minute....teary the next.... I can be smiling outside ...but deep within, I am aching... I can fake a laughter on gtalk and email....but sitting in front of this pc is a lady whose eyes has lose its glow ... I can tell you 'its alright, i'll pull thru...
    Eternal Eternal 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 26, 2010

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    How Many Times Have I Been In This Situation?

    we start out with something little and it quickly escalates to the situation i'm now in. i'm only 18, and he's only 17. shouldnt we be having fun falling in love and everything? as cliche as it sounds thats how it should be. i'm tired of fighting and i'm tired of being called a...
    justwanthappiness justwanthappiness 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2011

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    I just wish someone would hold me

    and tell me that everything will be okay!
    Zora628 Zora628 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    It's been a month and a half now.

    No on'es aked me how I feel about it. At a point I couldn't see life without him. I feel pathetic. and confused.
    BluNLG BluNLG 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    Today was bad. Yesterday too.

    I'm sick a lot with a chronic illness and I miss too much work. I'm responsible for my kids. If I lose my job we will lose our house. I have to keep working for the next thirty years but I am so tired, sick and overwhelmed that I can't even handle the thought of tomorrow, much...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2014

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    I'm staring at mirror with tears streaming down

    my face and I'm begging myself to stay strong.
    staystrongandlive staystrongandlive 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2014

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    So Sick Of Being In Pain!

    I am in pain everyday from osteo arthritis and structural damage in my spine, I have suffered with depression for approx 30yrs and have been on anti-depressants since my late teens. I took a break from them only when pregnant( twice), have changed them here and there...
    locomama locomama 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 15, 2010

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    Everyday I struggle to get out of bed

    and start my day, I keep compromising my life to settle and be grateful but what if I wanted more am I a bad person for wanting to fight for a life I want, I want to live live in a life filled with colors but I keep living in black and white, I can't really be happy because Im...
    Kittyxfreak Kittyxfreak 18-21, F Nov 2, 2014

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    I'm a complete idiot!

    I do realize this somewhere deep inside. Doesn't make the heart ache any less. I stood by as a not so innocent bystander and watched him literally rip my best friends heart out and show almost no remorse for it. Very little empathy for her. My heart broke for her and my...
    mmarno mmarno 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    I guess i can say that i already fell apart,

    im slowly picking up the pieces to put myself back together. Its not easy, I know that i am worth it. I don't ever give up on myself that is one of the strongest strengths that god has blessed me with, and i am trully greatful ??
    Andrea408 Andrea408 22-25 1 Response Nov 5, 2014

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    Iam a kid in foster care.

    My dad raped my 2 out of 3 sisters before I was born. I was once a kid who had good grades stayed out of trouble never seen drugs in my life. But now I've been expelled from 4 schools do weed have over 18 different pipes and bongs my grades suck I joined the gang I live by...
    bman353 bman353 13-15, M 3 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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    Giving Up Is Easy....

    There are times where all I want to do is give up. Where going to sleep and never waking up seems like bliss. But then I remember what I have, who I have. I remember my girlfriend for one, and that always gives me the strength to keep going.... Giving up is the easy, and I have...
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2010

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    So I fvcked up. Big fvcking deal.

    I am not the first nor will I be the last. It's OK, I'm picking myself up. Even Superman has his kryptonite. To you, wherever you are, I am not going to let you hurt me anymore. Yes, I still am feeling messed up but that doesn't mean I can't go back to who I am. I know myself...
    Alyyeska Alyyeska 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I need to stop moaning

    and complaing about my break up. but I'm in bits. My ex is completely fine which makes it hurt even more. I try every day to be happy and fine but it's to much I can't do it.
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    I've been having more frequent psychotic

    episodes paranoia and frightening hallucinations. I am feeling very nervous and alone. I feel like I have no support. I am very afraid all the time and have no one close to talk to. A sinking feeling of despair I'm starting to feel hopeless...
    thebeautifulprincess thebeautifulprincess 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I Am Really

    i am really struggling right now because of what my dad did to me a few days ago and the first time since i am starting to see the light with some advice from my counseler and good friends like katie and james and some other from EP, and the first time i feel really good and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    Just Keep Smiling

    If I put on a happy face and just keep smiling people will think that I am ok. I am actually far from ok. Its getting harder to put on that happy face. There is not one day that passes where I dont think about what if.... What if I could just be happy? What if I could make...
    ilovenature ilovenature 22-25 2 Responses Sep 21, 2011

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    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F Nov 2, 2014

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    Genuinely starting to worry

    that I'm on the verge of a total meltdown. I'm a broken damaged person. I'm not worthy of Love. I'm disgusted with who I am. I hate myself. How do I keep moving forward.
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    Johnny cash said love would burn.

    I never though it'd hurt this bad.
    TheFlamingLips TheFlamingLips 18-21, M Nov 19, 2014

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    I Have Been In Denial

    I have been throught a lot in my life but one of the worst phases I have ever been through was during my sophomore year in high school when I was anorexic for about 10 months. I thought I had recovered when my family and I started to get along better, made more friends, switched...
    thesuitelife285 thesuitelife285 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 28, 2010

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    well it finally happened.

    my mom, the one person in the world I could always go to when I was struggling has grown tired of hearing my issues. I certainly don't blame her. when I struggle more days than not, it can get old to hear the same crap over and over. but now it's left me truly alone. home sick...
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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      I have always been an ill child ,

    from the day i was born i was in and out of hospital , when I turned 6 I got better and wasn't ill that much. at the age of 9 I found out that the dad i live with now is not my biological dad and that really hit me hard I started to do things I shouldn't for example self harm...
    mbk123 mbk123 16-17, F Jan 26

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    What Left Of Me

    When ever i move forwardif feel like a piece of meis left behindi falling to pieceand i don't even carewhy should ii'll never be able to put to it backto fix itto being repairso i just leave itleave it behindi walk aroundleaving trails of mei try to hold togetherbut the pieces...
    invisiblegirl904 invisiblegirl904 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 6, 2011

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    I really need something good to happen in my

    life. Like really soon. Every time I turn around something else has broken and I am too sick and tired to have any hope left. really close to giving up
    superwholockimom superwholockimom 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    Killing Me Slowly

    Everyday is a struggle,just to get through the seconds,minutes,hours and days.I'm feeling lost and confused about a lot of things.I try not to over think,to live in the moment,but,sometimes my thoughts consume me and I feel as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders...
    notreadytomakenice notreadytomakenice 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2012

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    Hurt Me

    I am sitting here typing this, fighting back tears. Tears that tear me apart.Im like the tinmanI need the wizard to bring me a heart.Thousands of tears have streamed down my faceNone of them help meall they do is hurtHurt me....Hurt meHurt meIs all that runs through my mindBut...
    juliathompson101 juliathompson101 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 19, 2011

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    Her strength is seeping out of her,

    like a deflating balloon. She looks up to the ceiling and whispers tearfully "I'm not okay.."
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 1 Response May 19

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    I am reaching the end of my rope.

    Every time I do something, or the world seems to be look up for me, I just get knocked down. I was so excited because I had finally finished all of my graduate applications. I was absolutely ecstatic and ready to roll whether I got accepted or not. Then I get an email from...
    anna0593 anna0593 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 11

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