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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,898 People

    I feel like my life experiences have tainted me,

    when I hang out with "normal people" I feel so out of place. Everything I say or do feels wrong even if I know I'm with my close friends... How do I over come this? I can bluff as if I don't feel this way but inside I feel as if ill never belong ( not that I want to be a part of...
    wildhorsefeathers wildhorsefeathers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 23, 2014

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    My wicked ways have caught up to me,

    but I'm too deep to change... I am having problems trusting anyone and it has turned me into a prisoner of my own home.
    OGDM OGDM 31-35, M Feb 27, 2014

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    I'm kinda lost, I guess?

    Everyday on my way to home, I wonder if I can kill myself when I'm home. It gives me chills tho. I wish someone could stay alive with my heart, kidneys or lungs or something. I would love to keep them alive tho.
    queeenbey queeenbey 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    I'm completely lost in life I have no path

    but I keep walking towards my goal. I don't know what I am searching for but I'll keep searching for it. How does one find their path?
    acidwizard acidwizard 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    again I find myself in a dark road

    that leads to pain and suffering. before I make the choice of ending my suffering.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 25

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    I made a mistake I told myself I would never

    make, I let someone else be my happiness. Now I feel like my world is being torn apart. I had never believed in love, and I had emotionally accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He was so different though. He didn't judge me for my acting out, he didn't...
    Unbloomed Unbloomed 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1, 2014

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    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

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    One easter I couldn't cope with what I had been

    through and I walked into the kitchen, dad and brothers where in the garden, I opened the draw slowly and thought for a second. grabbed a knife and held it to my heart. spoke ,what I hoped to be my last words and before I could finish in came my dad. that was the only thing that...
    SgtDeZz SgtDeZz 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 17

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    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    sophomorefreakshow sophomorefreakshow 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 9, 2014

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    civilengasdfg civilengasdfg 18-21, F Dec 14, 2014

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    what a cyanide surprise I had lived

    for his eyes if I had common sense I d cut my self or curl up and die since life isn t what it seem to be...god gave me him but than took him away.... :''{
    IAmACatXP IAmACatXP 13-15, F 10 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    I can't make up my mind I want to go to school

    but I don't have any money which means I have to get loans. Loans take forever to pay off so I decided to not go back to school and I dropped out. Now I feel guilty because I know I can't make it anywhere without a degree. I can't decide what I want to do so I'm working a part...
    ReneeTay ReneeTay 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 15

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    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    There is so much to do

    but I am weak and fragile. Lost to the winds of old, my strength is. Seeking tirelessly to find an anchor to call home. An anchor I cannot reach or even see. With time caring not for me but its own, I desperately grapple with the forces of my will to be in equilibrium. I'm...
    Aamulus Aamulus 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 23

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    I need serious help. I am losing my mind.

    I have so much to say, i've been through so much, but kept it a secret for so long. I am alone. misunderstood. and hurt. I am so hurt. I have gone through more than anyone should ever have to go through. I dont think im better than anyone else because of that, so why does nobody...
    glitternglamxo glitternglamxo 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2014

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    im just in a struggle.

    a eternal internal fight. I hope that I achieve my goal. but I am just waiting to take the easy way out. I can't.... I won't I am trying. but as I live I am just failing. but I guess I just have to try harder next time.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 23, 2014

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    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 25 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 1, 2014

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    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    Have you ever thought about all the

    contradicting views the world forces on everyone? You can...but... You should, you shouldn’t. Too young, too old. You do, you don’t. Wait, don’t wait. Wrong, right. Too much, not enough. You can, you can’t. That is logical, it’s illogical. You need it, no you don’t...
    thereisnothingwrongwithyou thereisnothingwrongwithyou 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 11

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    life is full of bs. happiness is a lie.

    and peace is an unreachable goal. every day I get more and more cuts. my life is going down a downward spiral. what made me special is dissolving. everything is my fault. I am the one to blame. death is my last resort but I know im stronger than that. I hurt enough people...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I have lots of friends,

    but no one that I am extremely close to. They all have someone else they would rather talk to and I feel very lonely. My boyfriend hasn't talked to me in 4 days and is reading all my texts and my parents are no help. There is no one who understands me or who cares enough about...
    marieflorence109 marieflorence109 22-25, F Feb 16

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    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qur’an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success!   Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

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    I've thought about suicide again.

    I just can't help it. The school, preparations for univeristy and every other thing in my life at the moment gives me loads of stress and I crack under pressure. I'm sad all the time. Sad, frustrated, angry at the world and myself, tired, crying - you name it. I'm sure my crack...
    delusi0nal delusi0nal 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    at the present looking at a broken mirror.

    I gave you a chance to be your self. but I see now you won't change. you stuck in your old ways so now I must kill you. drain your blood and dispose of your corpse. because you didn't try all you wanted was change but with no effort. so now you will suffer the consequence of...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    This year has changed my life dramatically.

    Parents got a divorce and I moved to Florida with my mother. We are struggling financially and I'm having a hard time dealing with my mother partying so much. I just don't feel as close to her as I once did. I live in a crowded house with 7 people and I'm not comfortable with it...
    ComplicatedGirl18 ComplicatedGirl18 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2014

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    It's a process everyday.

    I'm told I'm not good enough or I fail at everything. I work hard to keep it together for my children.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I have a hard time trying to keep myself sane.

    I fall apart and it's difficult to put the peices back the way they were before. and what hurts the most is that I can't tell anyone what's wrong with me because I'll lose them forever
    savvy1998 savvy1998 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 25

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    My mom is on anidepresants

    and i feel my dad is under appreciated. My parents problem in their marriage is they dont communicate. no one yells no one even acts like anythibg is wrong. But something is and its been like that for a while. i hate it. i want to yell. i want to scream. but i cant. because...
    thatgirlnamedliz thatgirlnamedliz 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 16

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    For as long as I can remember I've never been

    comfortable in my own skin. Most of the little confidence I did have was shattered a few years ago, when the girls at my school started to bully me about how I looked. I felt, alone and they often isolated me from everything. So o began to isolate myself to save myself from any...
    Awhiteorchid Awhiteorchid 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    Right now i feel like this is it

    for me.... i hate my job an some of the persons i work with plus myself for being such a nice person to people who dish me dirt everyday. No one is in my concern now, i failed myself a people who look up to me like my niece an nephew i dont wanna die an leave them but what else...
    vernie12 vernie12 31-35, M 2 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

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    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out, All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I'm not suicidal , but tend to think of

    disappearing most of the time. Like who cares anymore...but I stop myself and realize "I ain't the only one!" I feel jealousy towards happily married young couples, I feel I should be making more cash, I feel like I should be more confident, I should have ppl begging to chill on...
    Frenchgal11 Frenchgal11 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    gosh I need help but no one can help me.

    I see my life in a downward spiral to destruction.... I am losing my mind.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 21

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    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    I really need to lose weight,

    it's an urge and I can't seem to control it.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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