I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 6,406 People

    thejabal thejabal
    26-30, M
    Jan 30, 2016

    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Jan 23, 2014

    You don't know pain until you are staring at

    yourself in the mirror with tears streaming down your face, and you're begging yourself to just hold on and be strong. That is pain.
    Ana104 Ana104
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 24, 2015
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 21, 2016

    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Mar 1, 2014
    SR85 SR85
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Mar 12, 2016

    There is plenty to do to keep my mind busy.

    I have more than two handfuls of things to be grateful about. This is the day. This is reality. Today ends everything about the part of my life that included him. I'm not sure I will ever get to the place where I can look back at our time together and not feel so hurt. I'm...
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Mar 26, 2016

    There is so much to do

    but I am weak and fragile. Lost to the winds of old, my strength is. Seeking tirelessly to find an anchor to call home. An anchor I cannot reach or even see. With time caring not for me but its own, I desperately grapple with the forces of my will to be in equilibrium. I'm...
    Aamulus Aamulus
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Jan 23, 2015

    I have a really stressful day coming up today.

    I'm so stressed out about it that iv been awake all night, had a panic attack and keep getting tension headaches. I have to go n meet my ex boyfriend and make him give me some stuff n sort out our financial connections. Hes already put me in debt and is ruining my credit rating...
    LJglasgow LJglasgow
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 7, 2015

    my best friend and i made a promise to not self

    harm. the first time we couldnt keep it. but we gave it a second chance and after time we both managed to stop. at least so i thought. I found out she's been lying to me about it and other things for months. The little amount of trust i still had was broken. im self harming...
    deejdomingo deejdomingo
    16-17, M
    1 Response Mar 28, 2016
    taintedr0se taintedr0se
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Mar 1, 2016

    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    pizzafacedfag pizzafacedfag
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jul 9, 2014

    I recently had a very difficult episode in my

    life. I reached my breaking point. I didn't think I could survive the pain I was going through. But through the haze of it all, there was one person that stayed with me, and did all they could to help me. They gave me the tough love that I needed to make it. They comforted...
    oddpodd oddpodd
    22-25, F
    Jan 30, 2016

    My thoughts and what I'm suppose to do with my

    life. I know what I should do but it's hard when u don't know what's right anymore. Kan someone help me with that? If so inbox me. I would like someone I Kan talk to to express myself and be open and absolutely honest with. Please don't inbox me if your going to talk sexually to...
    smileylove91212 smileylove91212
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 15, 2016

    I have been down with fever

    and flu symptoms for the past 3 days. I've never been sick this long. And I don't think I might recover soon enough. Taking a few steps to the kitchen or the toilet causes a slight headache and a blackout. My son also has similar symptoms but he recovers fast and is still active...
    majesticsea majesticsea
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 27, 2016

    I normally don't use anything online

    when I have an issue but my life has changed a lot in the past year and I can't seem to know how to get a handle on things. I'm 17 and I've just moved to England from Kansas 8 months ago to live with my dad because my mother passed away from cancer last May. I've spent...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 28, 2016

    hello depression my old friend.

    Do you want to know what the voices are telling me now. I can't explain but they are very helpfull. my heart wanted to shot a gun at his head. he was stolen and he was broken. I had to find him and pick the pieces up glue him together. he healed but the scars are still...
    LoneWarrior94 LoneWarrior94
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Apr 14, 2015

    Struggling, it makes you stronger

    than what you already are. Everyone has days, weeks and maybe even months of it. Where your heart thrashes against your rib age threatening to break free at any waking moment, your lungs not knowing how to expand anymore. Fragile bones, sleepless nights and lonely days. Pain is...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 23, 2015


    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets
    51-55, M
    1 Response Nov 28, 2012

    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher
    46-50, F
    20 Responses Jul 12, 2013

    Several months ago i had a nightmare.

    one of my close friends was in it but..twisted. wasnt the same, he had a creepy smile and unblinking bloodshot eyes. he also had a knife, he stabbed me, carved into my back, tortured me. and i let him because i knew i deserved it. I tried not to think about it the next day, but...
    deejdomingo deejdomingo
    16-17, M
    Feb 20, 2016

    yes ugh life is hard.

    I pray for life to get easier
    cieloissky cieloissky
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 20, 2016

    I made a mistake I told myself I would never

    make, I let someone else be my happiness. Now I feel like my world is being torn apart. I had never believed in love, and I had emotionally accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He was so different though. He didn't judge me for my acting out, he didn't...
    Unbloomed Unbloomed
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 2, 2015

    I come across as the happiest person alive

    when you first meet me. I'm outgoing, I laugh and smile nonstop but on the inside I am so broken and scarred and depressed that I just don't know what do anymore. There is maybe one person who knows the real me and she keeps telling me that I should show people that version of...
    AlyJessa AlyJessa
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 13, 2016

    I'm not even in one piece anymore.

    .. I'm everywhere... I can't find myself
    ItzPuppeh ItzPuppeh
    13-15, M
    3 Responses Feb 22, 2016

    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

    okay so I've just found out

    that my house mate has run up the electricity bill by leaving lights and the stove on and just being irresponsible and now i could possibly be getting kicked out :"( i'm 6 months pregnant with my son and am now at risk of being homeless :'( I've been trying so hard to find a...
    Andyboo1998 Andyboo1998
    18-21, F
    Apr 14, 2016

    hello darkness my old friend I'm back again.

    no sorry I'm not here to stay I'm just here to destroy my demons. I am my only enemy as there are people that are trying to make my life miserable they all have one thing in common, they all remind me of me. I glare at a mirror and I see my reflection ugly and corrupted...
    LoneWarrior94 LoneWarrior94
    22-25, M
    2 Responses May 21, 2015

    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jan 21, 2014

    I'm struggling to keep everything together,

    including my friendships. I feel I am failing and will end up alone. Not sure how much more I can deal with on my own.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 21, 2016

    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort
    36-40, F
    46 Responses Jan 25, 2010

    Jesus I need help I thought I solved my biggest

    problem and I haven´t I got my moped and now it won´t start. My anxiety has come back with a vengeance and I don't think I will be going to school tomorrow. I dont want to have to load it on a truck again and take it back I don't even want to take the dang thing back. I...
    shootdownthestars shootdownthestars
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2016

    I think it's funny how things change

    so dramatically that i end up deleting the stories i write on here, like i refer to someone as a great friend and then we end up having a huge fallout and can barely have a conversation without getting into an argument. its weird how things change.
    deejdomingo deejdomingo
    16-17, M
    Feb 21, 2016
    anasteel2 anasteel2
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

    Right now I'm missing someone

    so much I can literally feel all the pain and heartbreak in my entire body... Wish I could stop feeling !
    Sadeyes69 Sadeyes69
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Jan 11, 2016

    For every tear that falls,

    because your heart feels shattered beyond repair, I pray that you will find comfort. I pray that your hope is not destroyed, that as each new day dawns, you'll begin to see You won't feel this way forever, That even though it feels like it's the end, that it really is a new...
    ZenLioNESS719 ZenLioNESS719
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Mar 4, 2016

    The truth of my reality appears to be some fine

    concocted fata morgana of splendour that makes the facade of my flesh rage. Depositing shadows upon my deteriorating adode of torment, while my unknowing soul disentigrate And the spirit quietly dissipate into the forgotten memory of somber tales and the occasional thought of...
    LadyGallivanter LadyGallivanter
    3 Responses Oct 4, 2015

    I am starting to have a mental breakdown.

    .. I feel like punching someone today... Lots of stress and rage in me today...
    Potchii Potchii
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 22, 2016

    I am trying my hardest not to fall apart

    and break. Music can help, but not always what I need. If anyone else is going through this or can help me. I'd really appreciate the support. Love is the main point :(..
    M1TCH94 M1TCH94
    22-25, M
    2 Responses May 31, 2015

    I am dead. I am broken.

    I don't know what to do anymore. I am pushing people away from me, I did it an hour ago actually... I am confused. just don't want to pretend anymore.
    darklotus01 darklotus01
    13-15, T
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2016

    I am struggling to keep up with life.

    . Life is on hold and nothing positive is happening since more than 2 years. I have philosophy to say no to life if life push me to make me feel Low by its tricks .. May wait for few more months .. To take a call what's to be done with this life !
    deleted deleted
    Mar 3, 2016

    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm
    41-45, M
    18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

    Despite leaving my partner

    and safe haven, I am still trying to find a sense of normalcy for the little one. I brought him out to the carnival last night. But it feels like a struggle. With all the crowd and loud music, I just could not feel myself and needed to get out. I am also keeping a strong front...
    majesticsea majesticsea
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 1, 2016

    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    I hate insomnia... And I

    even stayed off craigslist yay me
    SweetTxWysteria SweetTxWysteria
    46-50, F
    Feb 24, 2016

    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. 😔
    EndlessDreams22 EndlessDreams22
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

    today's a day where, I want to eat

    so much that I couldn't possibly have another bit then trough it all up. I know how it feel to put your fingers down you neck. I know what its like to make myself be sick. I know it is bad but it makes me feel better after, it makes me feel better about myself. I'm a size 18 UK...
    unhear unhear
    16-17, F
    Feb 22, 2016

    For days I have been doing nothing

    but hiding my feelings and keeping everything bottled in. I'm so use to that because talking to people about my true emotions can be very hard. -- not being able to work, make money to help my home life and to help myself is my main issue. It's not as easy has getting up and...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    Aug 11, 2015

    Again and again I just stare.

    I look past the glare. I look pass the superficial beauty. deep into my heart, and my duty? I am just as ugly and rotten as my heart. I try to find peace in art. but my life is like being a cart at Wal-Mart. I choose what goes in it. useful items that benefit. or junk and trash...
    LoneWarrior94 LoneWarrior94
    22-25, M
    1 Response Mar 5, 2015

    all your life you just keep working

    for something that you think would make you happy! aims and ambitions and relationships...small specks of those cells which makes life and which makes you the person you are ! maybe these dreams and your effort to make them true......is something which keeps you alive in this...
    snuffal snuffal
    26-30, F
    Feb 20, 2016

    I dropped by my marital home some time ago

    and saw my plants and herbs all dead. My mint leaves, lime leaves, aloe vera all dead. Seeing that just gave me too much hopelessness. It reflected what kind of person I am. When life was easy or happier, I make things around me come to life. Now I am unhappy and feeling...
    majesticsea majesticsea
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 4, 2016

    I am drowning in homework

    and studying and work
    taintedr0se taintedr0se
    18-21, F
    Feb 21, 2016

    Pain doesn’t really go away

    because someone kisses it better. Sadness doesn’t recede because a person posts an inspiring quote on your Facebook wall. Grief doesn’t sink into the shadows the moment the sun comes up. You can’t sleep your way through misery. There are some hurts that become a part of...
    moonii moonii
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 30, 2015

    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    I hate crying every night

    and every morning. I have to keep myself together for my children but inside I'm angry and broken. I don't know what to do anymore
    jprice1994 jprice1994
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2016

    I was asked by a friend today.

    She asked me how I spent my weekend. So I told her I went to the beach and the zoo with my son. She asked, "With hubby?" The reason she enquired because we bumped into each other a few weekends ago at the zoo. I was alone with my son. She was with her husband and kids. At that...
    majesticsea majesticsea
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 29, 2016
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