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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,570 People

    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

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    I don't have money for food,

    a place to stay. So I'm going homeless, no family and nobody who can help me. My drug addiction doesn't really help either. I am having a tough time finding a job. So I buy drugs to numb myself so I can go out and let some guys have their way with me for some money. Or just some...
    YoungRidah YoungRidah 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 9

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    Is it me? aren't you meant to be able to talk

    to your man about anything! guess its most relationships, I try talk to him he gets angry then says its me dat I was ******, I don't even get the chance to say whats on my mind, regardless it seems he counter attacks anything I do try say with aggression. then the what could've...
    beebop01 beebop01 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Smiles are like bandaids ; They cover up the

    pain , but it still hurts . πŸ˜”
    Haii6130 Haii6130 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 9

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    miss416e miss416e 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    I was doing alright for a little while.

    Now I'm seriously contemplating suicide again. One or these days I may not hold back and I may just go jump off the bridge or floor it into a telephone pole.
    persononinternet persononinternet 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 11

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    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. πŸ˜”
    SweetRose22 SweetRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19

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    If only............. If only people knew the

    real me. If only they knew the truth. If only they knew how much pain i really felt or how much pain i was in. If only people knew i was hurting on the inside but still put a smile on my face. If only people knew what ive been through the past years. If only just someone would...
    lmfaomiller14 lmfaomiller14 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 22

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    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

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    I don't even know what's wrong with me.

    I'm sitting here crying my eyes out for no reason and I want anybody to be here with me. I feel so lonely and sad and I've felt this way for months and months and it's only gotten worse. I've started to starve myself and I've been self harming for nearly a year and I'm worthless...
    depressedmistake depressedmistake 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

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    The struggle is real!

    !! I don't know why it affects me so much saying bye to her knowing we will never talk again :(
    mexinthedesert mexinthedesert 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I am so scared. I feel like I want to cut

    myself. I honestly have never done it, but I I have that feeling. I don't want to do it, but a part of me is telling me to do it.
    BadassNerd BadassNerd 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    I go to work with a smile on my face knowing I

    haven't had any sleep because every time I accept something I've done wrong someone always tells me something new that I've messed up,
    FindingTheRealMe FindingTheRealMe 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    At this point I have battled living with a

    crack head father, I have achieved my goals academically, I am making my dream of being a surgeon a reality, I have contemplated suicide, I have mended and simultaneously broken friendships, I have fallen in love, I am in love, I am sabotaging my love, I have lived like the poor...
    sikandtired93 sikandtired93 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    I constantly fight myself internally.

    I am over emotional and it's getting worse. I can't control my crying or how I feel about the things people say. I take everything to heart; knowing those things shouldn't make or break me. Those things matter too much and I break down. I spaz out on people cause they talk to me...
    Kayylinda Kayylinda 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I feel like I'm standing

    and watching my life slowly fall apart and nothing I do helps. I either just want to cry my heart out or punch someone in their face... I'm so angry and so sad. I don't know how I feel anymore. I'm tired but I can't sleep, hungry but I don't want to eat, want to work hard but...
    DarkLumo27 DarkLumo27 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    It all started about 4 years ago in junior high.

    I started growing up, going through hormonal changes, and some adjustments in life. And in the process I started dating (Late I know, I'm pretty shy). I ended up having bad luck in relationships and friendships and began to become distant from people who were close to me. I...
    kittybabe100 kittybabe100 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    I want to run, run, run away!

    !! I am a mom and a wife and I want to run away I often daydream about it. Just walk away, leave it all behind. I love my children SOOO much it hurts that is why I will never leave or hurt them. They have a good no a wonderful life but my daydreams are so different the my perfect...
    nversaygdbye nversaygdbye 36-40, F 8 Responses Aug 22

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    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

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    Life kinda suck right now.

    I'm not going to go into detail since its sort of pathetic to tell the truth. Its just that lately Ive became alone, like seriously alone. In a blink of the eye I lost everyone, my family have started hating me, my friends blame me and well I cant even sleep anymore. Man this...
    SmileTheTearsAway SmileTheTearsAway 16-17, F 4 Responses May 25

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    I fell in love with a guy named Ivan Taylor.

    He was my best friend, and I fell in love with him because he was the only one I have ever known who seemed to like me for who I am inside. He was turned against me by two bullies of mine...I moved here to escape bullying...and I thought things were finally going to be the way...
    BrokenGlassDoll BrokenGlassDoll 16-17, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    This is a daily struggle

    and I'm adjusting
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    I just wish that I had something genuinely to

    look forward to. Instead I wake up wondering what kind of hell must I endure today. I often am asked how do I do it and I have no answer because I really wonder if I even can! πŸ˜•
    Acid1 Acid1 70+, F Aug 15

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    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4

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    I am at the point where I just do not care,

    at times I wish I was dead
    111888my 111888my 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 23

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    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qur’an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success! Β  Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    I feel like my life experiences have tainted me,

    when I hang out with "normal people" I feel so out of place. Everything I say or do feels wrong even if I know I'm with my close friends... How do I over come this? I can bluff as if I don't feel this way but inside I feel as if ill never belong ( not that I want to be a part of...
    wildhorsefeathers wildhorsefeathers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    I am struggling to keep myself together right

    now. I am dealing with some heavy things that I should have dealt with a long time ago but my method of coping for many years now has been avoidance and denial. I can no longer use this as a way to deal with my problems. I have to face the truth of everything no matter how ugly...
    DisappearingStar DisappearingStar 70+ 5 Responses Sep 7

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    I have been diagnosed 3 months ago with

    Alopecia Areata, i cant except it and it really brings me down emotionally :( my hair used to be really long and thick but now its short and thin :( 50% of my hair is gone..
    carmz87 carmz87 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 3

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    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 7 Responses Aug 18

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    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 1

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    Ok. So my sister just went off 2 college.

    She was my number one counsler2 help me deal with the constant bullying i face evryday. Now she is gone...and 4 a couple of weeks i was able 2 counsel myself and keep together...until that instagram photo my friend took of me. The comments in response talked about how i was ugly...
    hashiba hashiba 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    i hate what I've become every time i hang out

    with a certain crowd i sort of "morf" into something else if you know what i mean like i become a different person and im not even aware of it its kind if disgusting cause i realized if i dont act this way i wont be able to fit in
    neenah18 neenah18 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    So there are things revolving around me.

    My mom and her mom (grandma) want me to move back to Sault Ste. Marie. Have been away from there for some time now. They think it is better for me to move there and that their are more opportunities. Yeah, perhaps. But I want to stay living on manitouline Island. Have things...
    Brandon15shawana Brandon15shawana 16-17, M Aug 13

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    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21

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    Haii6130 Haii6130 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    She smoked cigarettes at sixteen

    because she wanted to get a kick out of something that was unreal and rebellious. She was a ******* mess. Her friends weren’t really her friends. I mean, she didn’t know. She had felt judged since the beginning. Everybody use to call her names. They didn’t, but she made...
    UnusualAngel UnusualAngel 18-21, F Jul 27

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    I can remember when my drug addiction,

    left me homeless, without, a family, without a job, without without etc. Not all drug addicts die rich and still have enables to tell the world what wonderful persons they were. Every drug addict was a wonder person at one time in their life. They certainly didn't wake up one...
    lifeisforfree lifeisforfree 61-65, M Aug 13

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    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4

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    I just feel hopeless.

    I cant do nothin that I used to love without thinking so damn much. Im so tired of fu***** thinkging thats how much I think. Hard for me to trust. I just feel bad. No one understands. I dont expect anyone to feel how I feel or cut me slack but I need someone to vent other than...
    troubledflight troubledflight 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 26

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    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 27 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    I am a married mother of four F(18) M(16) M(12)

    F(8) - We started our family fairly young, and I'm married to an alcoholic. 2.5 years ago when feeling alone, and detached from my husband, with valid suspicions of infidelity, I ran into an old friend, with whom I ended up having an affair with. My husband found out, and...
    Emmalou40 Emmalou40 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 17

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    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

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    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 9 Responses Mar 1

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    πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”
    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Constant discrimination.

    Bullied for being poor. Or disabled. Or homeless. By a guy who claims to be christian.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 17

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    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out,Β All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    superstar2271 superstar2271 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 9

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