Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,928 People

    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One easter I couldn't cope with what I had been

    through and I walked into the kitchen, dad and brothers where in the garden, I opened the draw slowly and thought for a second. grabbed a knife and held it to my heart. spoke ,what I hoped to be my last words and before I could finish in came my dad. that was the only thing that...
    SgtDeZz SgtDeZz 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have lots of friends,

    but no one that I am extremely close to. They all have someone else they would rather talk to and I feel very lonely. My boyfriend hasn't talked to me in 4 days and is reading all my texts and my parents are no help. There is no one who understands me or who cares enough about...
    marieflorence109 marieflorence109 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 23 Responses Jul 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Struggling, it makes you stronger

    than what you already are. Everyone has days, weeks and maybe even months of it. Where your heart thrashes against your rib age threatening to break free at any waking moment, your lungs not knowing how to expand anymore. Fragile bones, sleepless nights and lonely days. Pain is...
    fwxo fwxo 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I made a mistake I told myself I would never

    make, I let someone else be my happiness. Now I feel like my world is being torn apart. I had never believed in love, and I had emotionally accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He was so different though. He didn't judge me for my acting out, he didn't...
    Unbloomed Unbloomed 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    gosh I need help but no one can help me.

    I see my life in a downward spiral to destruction.... I am losing my mind.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's a process everyday.

    I'm told I'm not good enough or I fail at everything. I work hard to keep it together for my children.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm completely lost in life I have no path

    but I keep walking towards my goal. I don't know what I am searching for but I'll keep searching for it. How does one find their path?
    acidwizard acidwizard 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    For as long as I can remember I've never been

    comfortable in my own skin. Most of the little confidence I did have was shattered a few years ago, when the girls at my school started to bully me about how I looked. I felt, alone and they often isolated me from everything. So o began to isolate myself to save myself from any...
    Awhiteorchid Awhiteorchid 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I need serious help. I am losing my mind.

    I have so much to say, i've been through so much, but kept it a secret for so long. I am alone. misunderstood. and hurt. I am so hurt. I have gone through more than anyone should ever have to go through. I dont think im better than anyone else because of that, so why does nobody...
    glitternglamxo glitternglamxo 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. πŸ˜”
    SleepyRose22 SleepyRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This story spells DISASTER.

    I picked him over everyone else. I knew it was a risk but I saw his genuineness, his kindness, his decency. He said he really liked me and that he was willing to go to great lengths for me. I believed him. And pretty soon, I found that I already liked him, too. Ironically...
    theworldneedsme theworldneedsme 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I constantly fight myself internally.

    I am over emotional and it's getting worse. I can't control my crying or how I feel about the things people say. I take everything to heart; knowing those things shouldn't make or break me. Those things matter too much and I break down. I spaz out on people cause they talk to me...
    Kayylinda Kayylinda 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a hard time trying to keep myself sane.

    I fall apart and it's difficult to put the peices back the way they were before. and what hurts the most is that I can't tell anyone what's wrong with me because I'll lose them forever
    savvy1998 savvy1998 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Again and again I just stare.

    I look past the glare. I look pass the superficial beauty. deep into my heart, and my duty? I am just as ugly and rotten as my heart. I try to find peace in art. but my life is like being a cart at Wal-Mart. I choose what goes in it. useful items that benefit. or junk and trash...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've thought about suicide again.

    I just can't help it. The school, preparations for univeristy and every other thing in my life at the moment gives me loads of stress and I crack under pressure. I'm sad all the time. Sad, frustrated, angry at the world and myself, tired, crying - you name it. I'm sure my crack...
    delusi0nal delusi0nal 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    at the present looking at a broken mirror.

    I gave you a chance to be your self. but I see now you won't change. you stuck in your old ways so now I must kill you. drain your blood and dispose of your corpse. because you didn't try all you wanted was change but with no effort. so now you will suffer the consequence of...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't make up my mind I want to go to school

    but I don't have any money which means I have to get loans. Loans take forever to pay off so I decided to not go back to school and I dropped out. Now I feel guilty because I know I can't make it anywhere without a degree. I can't decide what I want to do so I'm working a part...
    ReneeTay ReneeTay 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's hard and upsetting sometimes.

    You just keep trying to sleep everything off of you. Sometimes you are lonely as ****. I isolate myself thinking that I would make less of a mess and yet Idk why I keep saying I have messed up with everybody. It's just hard to live...Hard to be happy when you know you're...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    im sad right now my life is getting bad

    and worse. but it is out of my control most things are at least. I am not perfect but life is just hitting me left and right. I am trying to keep my happiness and sanity but every day is harder and harder. I really need help. professional help I know that I can't get any. lack...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't believe I'm saying this

    but I'm struggling
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    at last I am starting to feel free I am

    optimistic and my neck is not hanging from a tree my mind is getting clear from the darkness I am no longer a mess I have been living in a roller coaster going through hills and valleys but i feel that I am slowly leaving this valley and I am going upward this hill that...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know.. (quick summary

    if y you knew the whole story...) in the past couple years I've lost so much. Recently I've lost my best friend and now I feel like I lost my family. a After giving up my spot in a good college so my family could go and live in a safer place life has really changed. When I lost...
    SunshineLaura SunshineLaura 18-21, F Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out,Β All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

      as I wake up into this timeline.

    is see a stupid kid in the mirror. how low did you land after high school. yea life has been tough thats your excuse. well why don't you die you ruined my life and my carrer I guess I have to take command of your life. well it is mine now. you are here on your knees crying...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    life is full of bs. happiness is a lie.

    and peace is an unreachable goal. every day I get more and more cuts. my life is going down a downward spiral. what made me special is dissolving. everything is my fault. I am the one to blame. death is my last resort but I know im stronger than that. I hurt enough people...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    again I find myself in a dark road

    that leads to pain and suffering. before I make the choice of ending my suffering.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really need to lose weight,

    it's an urge and I can't seem to control it.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There is so much to do

    but I am weak and fragile. Lost to the winds of old, my strength is. Seeking tirelessly to find an anchor to call home. An anchor I cannot reach or even see. With time caring not for me but its own, I desperately grapple with the forces of my will to be in equilibrium. I'm...
    Aamulus Aamulus 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    what a cyanide surprise I had lived

    for his eyes if I had common sense I d cut my self or curl up and die since life isn t what it seem to be...god gave me him but than took him away.... :''{
    IAmACatXP IAmACatXP 13-15, F 10 Responses Dec 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel