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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,624 People

    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

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    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4

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    I was doing alright for a little while.

    Now I'm seriously contemplating suicide again. One or these days I may not hold back and I may just go jump off the bridge or floor it into a telephone pole.
    persononinternet persononinternet 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 11

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    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    This is a daily struggle

    and I'm adjusting
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    I have been diagnosed 3 months ago with

    Alopecia Areata, i cant except it and it really brings me down emotionally :( my hair used to be really long and thick but now its short and thin :( 50% of my hair is gone..
    carmz87 carmz87 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 3

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    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 23

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    Life kinda suck right now.

    I'm not going to go into detail since its sort of pathetic to tell the truth. Its just that lately Ive became alone, like seriously alone. In a blink of the eye I lost everyone, my family have started hating me, my friends blame me and well I cant even sleep anymore. Man this...
    SmileTheTearsAway SmileTheTearsAway 16-17, F 4 Responses May 25

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    Is it me? aren't you meant to be able to talk

    to your man about anything! guess its most relationships, I try talk to him he gets angry then says its me dat I was ******, I don't even get the chance to say whats on my mind, regardless it seems he counter attacks anything I do try say with aggression. then the what could've...
    beebop01 beebop01 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I fell in love with a guy named Ivan Taylor.

    He was my best friend, and I fell in love with him because he was the only one I have ever known who seemed to like me for who I am inside. He was turned against me by two bullies of mine...I moved here to escape bullying...and I thought things were finally going to be the way...
    BrokenGlassDoll BrokenGlassDoll 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 11

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    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

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    It's true a lot of people are stuck in the

    struggle and it seems like there is no help or hope for the future, a lot of that blame is pointed out towards the ones trying to better their lives, I was the worst for blaming the world for my problems I hated seeing someone succeed and break free from addiction because I...
    aJason23 aJason23 18-21, M Sep 23

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    Ok. So my sister just went off 2 college.

    She was my number one counsler2 help me deal with the constant bullying i face evryday. Now she is gone...and 4 a couple of weeks i was able 2 counsel myself and keep together...until that instagram photo my friend took of me. The comments in response talked about how i was ugly...
    hashiba hashiba 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

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    My wicked ways have caught up to me,

    but I'm too deep to change... I am having problems trusting anyone and it has turned me into a prisoner of my own home.
    OGDM OGDM 31-35, M Feb 27

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    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 15

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    At this point I have battled living with a

    crack head father, I have achieved my goals academically, I am making my dream of being a surgeon a reality, I have contemplated suicide, I have mended and simultaneously broken friendships, I have fallen in love, I am in love, I am sabotaging my love, I have lived like the poor...
    sikandtired93 sikandtired93 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    I am new here and I just want to share my

    experience. As you can see, I am struggling to keep myself together. I have no job, I am an undergrad, and I barely keep myself afloat. But I have a family, a mom, a dad, a sister, that cares for me and this is what scares me the most. I'm in denial of being depressed. I am a...
    reffotsirk03 reffotsirk03 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 22

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    I am so scared. I feel like I want to cut

    myself. I honestly have never done it, but I I have that feeling. I don't want to do it, but a part of me is telling me to do it.
    LoseYourMind LoseYourMind 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

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    I am at the point where I just do not care,

    at times I wish I was dead
    111888my 111888my 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 23

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    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out, All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I just feel a little more out of control every

    day. I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Somebody please kill me.
    hacky2012 hacky2012 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    I'm 42 years old, am mother of 4 (19,

    about to become a father, 16, and 12 year old twins). Their father and I have been apart for 6 years. I've struggled with poverty, depression and alcohol abuse. My family all lives overseas, but my mother has NPD and has no interest in a relationship with me now anyway. I'm...
    Goodsunflower Goodsunflower 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 3

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    My sister is pregnant.

    She is 29 years old. I am 20 and away at college. My sister has severe bipolar disorder and the guy she is having the child with has anger issues... They met in therapy. My parents want me to support her, but I just can't. My sister and I haven't been close for a very long time...
    Doeeyedgirl Doeeyedgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 14

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    Constant discrimination.

    Bullied for being poor. Or disabled. Or homeless. By a guy who claims to be christian.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 17

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    I feel like I'm standing

    and watching my life slowly fall apart and nothing I do helps. I either just want to cry my heart out or punch someone in their face... I'm so angry and so sad. I don't know how I feel anymore. I'm tired but I can't sleep, hungry but I don't want to eat, want to work hard but...
    DarkLumo27 DarkLumo27 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 14

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    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1

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    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

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    I'm going to go ******* insane.

    I feel like such an ******* for telling people to hold strong if I'm just as bad physically and mentally as they are. I'm so far over the edge now, any day now.. I'll fall. I have no one, so letting go will be so much easier.
    Killingmesoftlyx3 Killingmesoftlyx3 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    Ive always believed u r to respect

    and cherish woman i was raised to notice the little things like when u cut ur hair or change the style when u change ur perfume or nail color when u buy new shoes or clothes. Was also raised to always make the woman im with feel appreciated wanted loved cared for yet all the...
    Time4kush Time4kush 26-30, M Nov 14

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    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4

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    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    Atadbitfabulous Atadbitfabulous 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 9

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    Everyday, I struggle with trying to continue to

    push forward. Everyday, I want to commit suicide, literally. But everyday, I manage not to over dose on pills for whatever small reason keeps me here.
    BIackyChan BIackyChan 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 6

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    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21

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    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 7 Responses Aug 18

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    Feeling like an empty shell.

    Every day is a struggle and some days I know why and other days I can't explain what is making me feel this way. The past two days I have cried day and night. Not sleeping at night my mind races all day even at work it affects me. I can't escape this awful feeling.
    Aml4 Aml4 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    My self-esteem is at an all time low.

    I want to die again. I want to just...stop existing. School is stressing me out, my life is stressing me out, I can't stop comparing myself to other women, I can't stop wishing I had their lives or their boyfriends or their bodies...I can't even let myself eat food properly. Of...
    Skollon Skollon 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    It's much easier to let go

    than to persevere through relationships.
    LightlySaltedSalmon LightlySaltedSalmon 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    The struggle is real!

    !! I don't know why it affects me so much saying bye to her knowing we will never talk again :(
    mexinthedesert mexinthedesert 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 18

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    The ice cold chill from my single pain window

    woke me from a dead slumber. I lay in bed cocooned in the down comforter listening to the rain pitter patter outside. The slate grey cloud cover blankets the early morning sky and my mind wanders off into the idea of rain wetting and cleansing the earth. I find myself engulfed...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    For as long as I can remember I've never been

    comfortable in my own skin. Most of the little confidence I did have was shattered a few years ago, when the girls at my school started to bully me about how I looked. I felt, alone and they often isolated me from everything. So o began to isolate myself to save myself from any...
    Awhiteorchid Awhiteorchid 16-17, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I feel like my life experiences have tainted me,

    when I hang out with "normal people" I feel so out of place. Everything I say or do feels wrong even if I know I'm with my close friends... How do I over come this? I can bluff as if I don't feel this way but inside I feel as if ill never belong ( not that I want to be a part of...
    wildhorsefeathers wildhorsefeathers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    I can remember when my drug addiction,

    left me homeless, without, a family, without a job, without without etc. Not all drug addicts die rich and still have enables to tell the world what wonderful persons they were. Every drug addict was a wonder person at one time in their life. They certainly didn't wake up one...
    lifeisforfree lifeisforfree 66-70, M 1 Response Aug 13

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    I just wish that I had something genuinely to

    look forward to. Instead I wake up wondering what kind of hell must I endure today. I often am asked how do I do it and I have no answer because I really wonder if I even can! 😕
    Acid1 Acid1 70+, F Aug 15

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    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 25 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qur’an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success!   Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. 😔
    SleepyRose22 SleepyRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19

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