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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,976 People

    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

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    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

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    Having a hard day. Had an anxiety attack again

    today for the first time in awhile and I did was I just to do back then I cut myself. I was in the middle of one of my classes and I just walked out after taking a razor blade from my tool box and went to the nearest bathroom. It helped my calm down but not I have a pretty bad...
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Again and again I just stare.

    I look past the glare. I look pass the superficial beauty. deep into my heart, and my duty? I am just as ugly and rotten as my heart. I try to find peace in art. but my life is like being a cart at Wal-Mart. I choose what goes in it. useful items that benefit. or junk and trash...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 5

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    I can't believe I'm saying this

    but I'm struggling
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    There is so much to do

    but I am weak and fragile. Lost to the winds of old, my strength is. Seeking tirelessly to find an anchor to call home. An anchor I cannot reach or even see. With time caring not for me but its own, I desperately grapple with the forces of my will to be in equilibrium. I'm...
    Aamulus Aamulus 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 23

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    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

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    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qur’an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success!   Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out, All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 1, 2014

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    It's hard and upsetting sometimes.

    You just keep trying to sleep everything off of you. Sometimes you are lonely as ****. I isolate myself thinking that I would make less of a mess and yet Idk why I keep saying I have messed up with everybody. It's just hard to live...Hard to be happy when you know you're...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    I look into the mirror.

    my past is catching up to me. my skin my knife my tears my pain my hurt my problem my solitude my friends my enemies my agony my love my break my cure my cancer. it is not what I wanted but it is what I deserved how could I go so low. hurting my self to feel relief and...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    I have lots of friends,

    but no one that I am extremely close to. They all have someone else they would rather talk to and I feel very lonely. My boyfriend hasn't talked to me in 4 days and is reading all my texts and my parents are no help. There is no one who understands me or who cares enough about...
    marieflorence109 marieflorence109 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 16

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    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    hello depression my old friend.

    Do you want to know what the voices are telling me now. I can't explain but they are very helpfull. my heart wanted to shot a gun at his head. he was stolen and he was broken. I had to find him and pick the pieces up glue him together. he healed but the scars are still...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I was talking to my sister-in-law's cousin,

    and she was asking me about sex. well I told her that I've had sex and that I've had to take the morning after pill because his condom slipped off, but we do use protection. well, she told my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law made me tell my mother. I told my mother, but I didn...
    katielynn195 katielynn195 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    For as long as I can remember I've never been

    comfortable in my own skin. Most of the little confidence I did have was shattered a few years ago, when the girls at my school started to bully me about how I looked. I felt, alone and they often isolated me from everything. So o began to isolate myself to save myself from any...
    Awhiteorchid Awhiteorchid 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    It's a process everyday.

    I'm told I'm not good enough or I fail at everything. I work hard to keep it together for my children.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 5

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    gosh I need help but no one can help me.

    I see my life in a downward spiral to destruction.... I am losing my mind.
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 21

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    I really need to lose weight,

    it's an urge and I can't seem to control it.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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      as I wake up into this timeline.

    is see a stupid kid in the mirror. how low did you land after high school. yea life has been tough thats your excuse. well why don't you die you ruined my life and my carrer I guess I have to take command of your life. well it is mine now. you are here on your knees crying...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 17

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    I twist and turn and completely contort my

    brain, thinking that I'll be OK. I felt OK to begin with. Now, I feel like a huge mess!! I can't seem to ever be satisfied! Why are women so emotional??? Why are we wired to feel so much, so often? it drives me bonkers and at this moment, I feel angry, sad, hurt, stupid, and...
    katiebeth91 katiebeth91 22-25, F Mar 26

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    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

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    Struggling, it makes you stronger

    than what you already are. Everyone has days, weeks and maybe even months of it. Where your heart thrashes against your rib age threatening to break free at any waking moment, your lungs not knowing how to expand anymore. Fragile bones, sleepless nights and lonely days. Pain is...
    fwxo fwxo 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I made a mistake I told myself I would never

    make, I let someone else be my happiness. Now I feel like my world is being torn apart. I had never believed in love, and I had emotionally accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He was so different though. He didn't judge me for my acting out, he didn't...
    Unbloomed Unbloomed 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 23 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1, 2014

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    I don't know.. (quick summary

    if y you knew the whole story...) in the past couple years I've lost so much. Recently I've lost my best friend and now I feel like I lost my family. a After giving up my spot in a good college so my family could go and live in a safer place life has really changed. When I lost...
    SunshineLaura SunshineLaura 18-21, F Mar 18

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    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

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    what a cyanide surprise I had lived

    for his eyes if I had common sense I d cut my self or curl up and die since life isn t what it seem to be...god gave me him but than took him away.... :''{
    IAmACatXP IAmACatXP 13-15, F 10 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    my bullet... he is my exit from this pain.

    He cures all type of cancer and is very effective. He silences all the voices in my head. He brings humanity toward my nature. He saves me from my biggest and only enemy my self. where are you bullet my head wants you and it is time to end a problem... My knife my friend...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 5

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    I constantly fight myself internally.

    I am over emotional and it's getting worse. I can't control my crying or how I feel about the things people say. I take everything to heart; knowing those things shouldn't make or break me. Those things matter too much and I break down. I spaz out on people cause they talk to me...
    Kayylinda Kayylinda 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2014

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    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 25

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    Yeah. I do that. So does the whole human race.

    Jim Morrison once said "Ain't no one here gettin' out alive." Point,counterpoint. Everyone struggles. So what's the point. Well I think each of us gotta' find their own. Yours can't be mine cause I ain't you. Your struggles are tailor made. I know mine are. Mine are nothing...
    lifeisforfree lifeisforfree 66-70, M 3 Responses Apr 7

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    I'm completely lost in life I have no path

    but I keep walking towards my goal. I don't know what I am searching for but I'll keep searching for it. How does one find their path?
    acidwizard acidwizard 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    My mom is on anidepresants

    and i feel my dad is under appreciated. My parents problem in their marriage is they dont communicate. no one yells no one even acts like anythibg is wrong. But something is and its been like that for a while. i hate it. i want to yell. i want to scream. but i cant. because...
    thatgirlnamedliz thatgirlnamedliz 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 16

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    This story spells DISASTER.

    I picked him over everyone else. I knew it was a risk but I saw his genuineness, his kindness, his decency. He said he really liked me and that he was willing to go to great lengths for me. I believed him. And pretty soon, I found that I already liked him, too. Ironically...
    theworldneedsme theworldneedsme 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2014

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    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. 😔
    SweetRose22 SweetRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

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    at last I am starting to feel free I am

    optimistic and my neck is not hanging from a tree my mind is getting clear from the darkness I am no longer a mess I have been living in a roller coaster going through hills and valleys but i feel that I am slowly leaving this valley and I am going upward this hill that...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 18

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    life is full of bs. happiness is a lie.

    and peace is an unreachable goal. every day I get more and more cuts. my life is going down a downward spiral. what made me special is dissolving. everything is my fault. I am the one to blame. death is my last resort but I know im stronger than that. I hurt enough people...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 26

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