Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 6,001 People

    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 23 Responses Jul 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    im sad right now my life is getting bad

    and worse. but it is out of my control most things are at least. I am not perfect but life is just hitting me left and right. I am trying to keep my happiness and sanity but every day is harder and harder. I really need help. professional help I know that I can't get any. lack...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yeah. I do that. So does the whole human race.

    Jim Morrison once said "Ain't no one here gettin' out alive." Point,counterpoint. Everyone struggles. So what's the point. Well I think each of us gotta' find their own. Yours can't be mine cause I ain't you. Your struggles are tailor made. I know mine are. Mine are nothing...
    lifeisforfree lifeisforfree 66-70, M 3 Responses Apr 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate that i am bad at explaining how i feel

    and explaining my side of things because it always makes it seem like I am wrong or less intelligent.
    artsydarling artsydarling 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    hello depression my old friend.

    Do you want to know what the voices are telling me now. I can't explain but they are very helpfull. my heart wanted to shot a gun at his head. he was stolen and he was broken. I had to find him and pick the pieces up glue him together. he healed but the scars are still...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm ready to give up.

    .. ๐Ÿ˜”
    Soligem Soligem 18-21 May 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know.. (quick summary

    if y you knew the whole story...) in the past couple years I've lost so much. Recently I've lost my best friend and now I feel like I lost my family. a After giving up my spot in a good college so my family could go and live in a safer place life has really changed. When I lost...
    SunshineLaura SunshineLaura 18-21, F Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I got drunk finally told my friend I'm having a

    hard time told her I'm suicidal and were probably both too drunk to remember tmr. . . Drunk writing this. Probably be interesting tmr . Crap. . . This sucks
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I look into the mirror.

    my past is catching up to me. my skin my knife my tears my pain my hurt my problem my solitude my friends my enemies my agony my love my break my cure my cancer. it is not what I wanted but it is what I deserved how could I go so low. hurting my self to feel relief and...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I twist and turn and completely contort my

    brain, thinking that I'll be OK. I felt OK to begin with. Now, I feel like a huge mess!! I can't seem to ever be satisfied! Why are women so emotional??? Why are we wired to feel so much, so often? it drives me bonkers and at this moment, I feel angry, sad, hurt, stupid, and...
    katiebeth91 katiebeth91 22-25, F Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I made a mistake I told myself I would never

    make, I let someone else be my happiness. Now I feel like my world is being torn apart. I had never believed in love, and I had emotionally accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He was so different though. He didn't judge me for my acting out, he didn't...
    Unbloomed Unbloomed 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Having a hard day. Had an anxiety attack again

    today for the first time in awhile and I did was I just to do back then I cut myself. I was in the middle of one of my classes and I just walked out after taking a razor blade from my tool box and went to the nearest bathroom. It helped my calm down but not I have a pretty bad...
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jhastme jhastme 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. ๐Ÿ˜”
    SweetRose22 SweetRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    pizzafacedfag pizzafacedfag 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Again and again I just stare.

    I look past the glare. I look pass the superficial beauty. deep into my heart, and my duty? I am just as ugly and rotten as my heart. I try to find peace in art. but my life is like being a cart at Wal-Mart. I choose what goes in it. useful items that benefit. or junk and trash...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Darkness Inside.....

    It is like a plague, never goes away,like an animal and its prey, it waitsuntil that right moment to strike,you think your ready, you think your prepared,then it closes in to devour you,no defence can keep it away,like a cancer from the inside out,ย All you see now is shadows,of...
    DarkThornedLilyRose43 DarkThornedLilyRose43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    my bullet... he is my exit from this pain.

    He cures all type of cancer and is very effective. He silences all the voices in my head. He brings humanity toward my nature. He saves me from my biggest and only enemy my self. where are you bullet my head wants you and it is time to end a problem... My knife my friend...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's a process everyday.

    I'm told I'm not good enough or I fail at everything. I work hard to keep it together for my children.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Struggling, it makes you stronger

    than what you already are. Everyone has days, weeks and maybe even months of it. Where your heart thrashes against your rib age threatening to break free at any waking moment, your lungs not knowing how to expand anymore. Fragile bones, sleepless nights and lonely days. Pain is...
    fwxo fwxo 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    artsydarling artsydarling 18-21, F Apr 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qurโ€™an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success! ย  Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    But jerks lose power.

    If me helps others. EP Link
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    stress. stress. stress.

    and more stress. I can't live this way! I am losing myself and becoming miserable. I can't even appreciate the few good things that I have going on in my life because I am stressed. when I look in the morror, I can see how bad I look physically due to this stress.
    secretdestiny secretdestiny 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't believe I'm saying this

    but I'm struggling
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's hard and upsetting sometimes.

    You just keep trying to sleep everything off of you. Sometimes you are lonely as ****. I isolate myself thinking that I would make less of a mess and yet Idk why I keep saying I have messed up with everybody. It's just hard to live...Hard to be happy when you know you're...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Can't It Be Seen Easy.......

    I was told by a few friends that I am in my element when I talk about work and that I need to put that into my personal life.....  Problem is that in my life things aren't cut and dry like they are the machines. I love to work on a machine it is clear and it is supposed...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 18 Responses Dec 9, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    what a cyanide surprise I had lived

    for his eyes if I had common sense I d cut my self or curl up and die since life isn t what it seem to be...god gave me him but than took him away.... :''{
    IAmACatXP IAmACatXP 13-15, F 10 Responses Dec 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    hello darkness my old friend I'm back again.

    no sorry I'm not here to stay I'm just here to destroy my demons. I am my only enemy as there are people that are trying to make my life miserable they all have one thing in common, they all remind me of me. I glare at a mirror and I see my reflection ugly and corrupted...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 2 Responses May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    at last I am starting to feel free I am

    optimistic and my neck is not hanging from a tree my mind is getting clear from the darkness I am no longer a mess I have been living in a roller coaster going through hills and valleys but i feel that I am slowly leaving this valley and I am going upward this hill that...
    Poeticdeaths Poeticdeaths 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    suicidal, regretting the abortion

    and hating what my life is. feeling hopeless, ive been in a ward 4 3days on suicide watch. My friends are guilting me about being here, little do they know I'm super serious about wanting to die, as per usual they are ignoring me. I've decided to kill myself with my allergies...
    Anubis111 Anubis111 22-25, T 1 Response May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel