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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

It's hard, considering the circumstances. 5,681 People

    Every day is another fake laugh

    or another fake smile. I'm so tired of it. All i want to do is cry and say how i'm feeling. But i know i cant, because nobody will care. Because they'll just think im a freak. I dont know how much longer i can keep faking hapiness...
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 21

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    I wake up sad daily .

    .. I am in a sexless marriage I am now in my 40's I want to feel pretty again . I want a man to crave me I have so much to offer
    likemeforwhoiam likemeforwhoiam 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 1

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    My sister is pregnant.

    She is 29 years old. I am 20 and away at college. My sister has severe bipolar disorder and the guy she is having the child with has anger issues... They met in therapy. My parents want me to support her, but I just can't. My sister and I haven't been close for a very long time...
    Doeeyedgirl Doeeyedgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 14

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    I'm lying in bed... Thoughts running through my

    head... They don't stop... I can't find silence... I'm struggling. I need to find myself again. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm in a miserable marriage. I know he resents me and pretty much hates me. At least that's how I feel or he makes me feel. We have two beautiful...
    MyLifeAsViolet MyLifeAsViolet 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 23

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    I feel like my life experiences have tainted me,

    when I hang out with "normal people" I feel so out of place. Everything I say or do feels wrong even if I know I'm with my close friends... How do I over come this? I can bluff as if I don't feel this way but inside I feel as if ill never belong ( not that I want to be a part of...
    wildhorsefeathers wildhorsefeathers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    Tell me a story of saving someone from dying

    from an illness. How to fix someone heart that has been broken? How do you survive? How do you breathe and not suffocate? You've seen so many things, my mom has cancer and is very ill she is in hospice but I'm the one who feels that is about to die. I want my mom to hug me and I...
    ohida ohida 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    Never...

    This story was inspired by Elie Wiesel, a survivor of the Holocaust. Never shall I forget the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was dying. Never shall I forget the fear of becoming "fat" resulting in starvation in 1st grade. Never shall I forget my innocence and virginity...
    DanniDarling DanniDarling 16-17, F Mar 4, 2013

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    Identity

    Recently, a very good and trusted friend reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten: We are not our possessions, our job, house, spouse, or family. We are separate from all of that. We have an intrinsic value that we often forget to appreciate within ourselves. We have a...
    BozoBuckets BozoBuckets 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    Feeling like an empty shell.

    Every day is a struggle and some days I know why and other days I can't explain what is making me feel this way. The past two days I have cried day and night. Not sleeping at night my mind races all day even at work it affects me. I can't escape this awful feeling.
    Aml4 Aml4 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 7

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    Yesterday was dramatic,

    today was ok.
    tarkovsky tarkovsky 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 30

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    Hang On.

    No matter how badly we feel, it is only for now. When in deep pain and confusion When in the depths of darkness and despair, it can be hard to remember there will be light again. There are so many lessons in the cycles of nature. Sometimes they may sound trite but truth is...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    My self-esteem is at an all time low.

    I want to die again. I want to just...stop existing. School is stressing me out, my life is stressing me out, I can't stop comparing myself to other women, I can't stop wishing I had their lives or their boyfriends or their bodies...I can't even let myself eat food properly. Of...
    Skollon Skollon 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    It's funny how my life is turning out.

    The higher you fly, the harder you fall. I thought the ground was the low. I didn't know I could manage to bury myself deep.
    metaphornographic metaphornographic 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 27

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    The ice cold chill from my single pain window

    woke me from a dead slumber. I lay in bed cocooned in the down comforter listening to the rain pitter patter outside. The slate grey cloud cover blankets the early morning sky and my mind wanders off into the idea of rain wetting and cleansing the earth. I find myself engulfed...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    I'm 42 years old, am mother of 4 (19,

    about to become a father, 16, and 12 year old twins). Their father and I have been apart for 6 years. I've struggled with poverty, depression and alcohol abuse. My family all lives overseas, but my mother has NPD and has no interest in a relationship with me now anyway. I'm...
    Goodsunflower Goodsunflower 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 3

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    Ive always believed u r to respect

    and cherish woman i was raised to notice the little things like when u cut ur hair or change the style when u change ur perfume or nail color when u buy new shoes or clothes. Was also raised to always make the woman im with feel appreciated wanted loved cared for yet all the...
    Time4kush Time4kush 26-30, M Nov 14

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    I fell in love with a guy named Ivan Taylor.

    He was my best friend, and I fell in love with him because he was the only one I have ever known who seemed to like me for who I am inside. He was turned against me by two bullies of mine...I moved here to escape bullying...and I thought things were finally going to be the way...
    BrokenGlassDoll BrokenGlassDoll 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I just feel a little more out of control every

    day. I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Somebody please kill me.
    hacky2012 hacky2012 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    I'm going to go ******* insane.

    I feel like such an ******* for telling people to hold strong if I'm just as bad physically and mentally as they are. I'm so far over the edge now, any day now.. I'll fall. I have no one, so letting go will be so much easier.
    Killingmesoftlyx3 Killingmesoftlyx3 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    civilengasdfg civilengasdfg 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    It Seems So

    I am struggling inside. I am fighting my negative thoughts and trying to find a good place, but Im having a really hard time. This is nothing new. Im always like this. Up and down, up and down. Just trying to maintain something that is okay. I am looking for a solution. A...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 25 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    I am new here and I just want to share my

    experience. As you can see, I am struggling to keep myself together. I have no job, I am an undergrad, and I barely keep myself afloat. But I have a family, a mom, a dad, a sister, that cares for me and this is what scares me the most. I'm in denial of being depressed. I am a...
    reffotsirk03 reffotsirk03 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 22

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    Woke up this morning feeling

    so low. Feeling anxious and felt the rising panic inside. Wondering if I will ever know what it feels like to be loved and wanted by a Man. So tired of it always being one way. I give everything but it's never enough. Rejection always. So tired of it all.
    chrissie58 chrissie58 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 23

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    Right now i feel like this is it

    for me.... i hate my job an some of the persons i work with plus myself for being such a nice person to people who dish me dirt everyday. No one is in my concern now, i failed myself a people who look up to me like my niece an nephew i dont wanna die an leave them but what else...
    vernie12 vernie12 26-30, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I just wish that I had something genuinely to

    look forward to. Instead I wake up wondering what kind of hell must I endure today. I often am asked how do I do it and I have no answer because I really wonder if I even can! ๐Ÿ˜•
    Acid1 Acid1 70+, F Aug 15

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    The struggle is real!

    !! I don't know why it affects me so much saying bye to her knowing we will never talk again :(
    mexinthedesert mexinthedesert 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I'm kinda lost, I guess?

    Everyday on my way to home, I wonder if I can kill myself when I'm home. It gives me chills tho. I wish someone could stay alive with my heart, kidneys or lungs or something. I would love to keep them alive tho.
    queeenbey queeenbey 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 6

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    I have been diagnosed 3 months ago with

    Alopecia Areata, i cant except it and it really brings me down emotionally :( my hair used to be really long and thick but now its short and thin :( 50% of my hair is gone..
    carmz87 carmz87 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 3

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    Striving to being better then this girl has

    caused me to ruined my life, caused me to hate myself... I'll never win.
    DeterminedToMakeLifeWorthIt DeterminedToMakeLifeWorthIt 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 14

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    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 7 Responses Aug 18

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    Lesson From Pfophet Job's(peace Be Upon Him) Struggle

    Those afflicted with calamities and distress should remember the story of Prophet Job (Qurโ€™an calls him Aiyub). Ah! What a heart-melting story of pain and suffering, of patience and forbearance, of faith and gratitude, and ultimately of reward and success! ย  Prophet Job...
    sunshines333 sunshines333 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    It's much easier to let go

    than to persevere through relationships.
    LightlySaltedSalmon LightlySaltedSalmon 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    I am broken. Now I am having a difficult time

    trying to pick up all of my pieces and putting them back together.. ๐Ÿ˜”
    SleepyRose22 SleepyRose22 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 19

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    Everyday, I struggle with trying to continue to

    push forward. Everyday, I want to commit suicide, literally. But everyday, I manage not to over dose on pills for whatever small reason keeps me here.
    BIackyChan BIackyChan 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 6

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    I really am I am falling apart

    as the minutes pass. I am aching from head to toe I can't sleep or eat I'm not living any more just simply existing. I'm sick of feeling this way I would give anything just to be able to stop crying for for a day and just feel average or normal or just to feel happiness or to...
    milichja milichja 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4

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    I am so scared. I feel like I want to cut

    myself. I honestly have never done it, but I I have that feeling. I don't want to do it, but a part of me is telling me to do it.
    LoseYourMind LoseYourMind 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    I am so very lonely. My husband had a total

    breakdown last year and tried to kill himself, horribly. Since then all of my friends have found excuses to cut me out. My husband had been my best friend but that person has gone now. Our good marriage is now in pieces. I can't talk to him and I have no one to talk to. His...
    rosadon rosadon 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 1

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    Lost a tooth eating a scrawny burrito.

    Lol. Thought gums had covered it up. Waited to bleed. Tonight swelling vanished. And no tooth there. Just a minor depression where it was. Now if only the two molars would try it.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 28

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    It's true a lot of people are stuck in the

    struggle and it seems like there is no help or hope for the future, a lot of that blame is pointed out towards the ones trying to better their lives, I was the worst for blaming the world for my problems I hated seeing someone succeed and break free from addiction because I...
    aJason23 aJason23 18-21, M Sep 23

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    For as long as I can remember I've never been

    comfortable in my own skin. Most of the little confidence I did have was shattered a few years ago, when the girls at my school started to bully me about how I looked. I felt, alone and they often isolated me from everything. So o began to isolate myself to save myself from any...
    Awhiteorchid Awhiteorchid 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 22

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    Life kinda suck right now.

    I'm not going to go into detail since its sort of pathetic to tell the truth. Its just that lately Ive became alone, like seriously alone. In a blink of the eye I lost everyone, my family have started hating me, my friends blame me and well I cant even sleep anymore. Man this...
    SmileTheTearsAway SmileTheTearsAway 16-17, F 4 Responses May 25

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    Ok. So my sister just went off 2 college.

    She was my number one counsler2 help me deal with the constant bullying i face evryday. Now she is gone...and 4 a couple of weeks i was able 2 counsel myself and keep together...until that instagram photo my friend took of me. The comments in response talked about how i was ugly...
    hashiba hashiba 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    they say, how can you hate yourself

    so much when they barely even know me and whisper , you are too young to be so sad when they read my writing and when i cannot bring myself to attend their parties, they laugh, why are you always tired but if they spent two minutes inside of my head, they would realize...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 4

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    I Feel Like I'm Having A Constant Battle Against Myself...

    I've never really acknowledged this before, but I kind of want to now. It's getting old. I'm calm and collect on the outside but on the inside I just feel crazy. Like with my mom, on the outside. I show that I'm happy, even at times that I'm like whatever she's gone. But when I...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious 22-25, F Jul 23, 2012

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    My Husaband Acts Like A 2 Years Old

    I am just so tired of his logic,When I told him he should stop driving so fast, and look at the speed limits. he said that I should trust him, and I insulted him! and I should know that he doesn't mean to kill us! I said accidents happen and we have the most road kills...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 48 Responses Jan 25, 2010

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    Today I received a letter from my dad

    who has been incarcerated since April. This is the first letter he has sent me. I have not seen him due to circumstances in the family that has forced me to seclude myself in order to protect myself. I have been hurting for a long time due to my abortion 6 years ago that was...
    Aml4 Aml4 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    Day By Day, Sometimes Minute By Minute!

    I struggle everyday to keep myself together. It's not pleasant to have all that I have to deal with and the pain that I must cope with also, is enough for anyone to lose their mind. I struggle each day, some so painful that I have to take them minute my minute, or hour by hour to...
    TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    I Understand How You Are Feeling X

    Signed in tonight to see that almost all stories shared tonight are about people who are hurt, alone, sad, depressed and upset about something. I feel very upset at seeing this and remember how i used to feel 4 years ago when i was so alone i was also homeless and begging on the...
    Rocks08 Rocks08 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2010

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    I have never been a normal kid,

    and high school is ripping the very fabric that holds my sad excuse for a life together to shreds. My awkwardness, inability to socialize, and confused sexuality are making me a prime target for bullying. My family isn't the most stable. I don't have many friends and I'm not...
    Atadbitfabulous Atadbitfabulous 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 9

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    what a cyanide surprise I had lived

    for his eyes if I had common sense I d cut my self or curl up and die since life isn t what it seem to be...god gave me him but than took him away.... :''{
    KLawliet KLawliet 13-15, F 11 Responses Dec 6

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    I constantly fight myself internally.

    I am over emotional and it's getting worse. I can't control my crying or how I feel about the things people say. I take everything to heart; knowing those things shouldn't make or break me. Those things matter too much and I break down. I spaz out on people cause they talk to me...
    Kayylinda Kayylinda 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3

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