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I Am Struggling With Being Gay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,188 People

    I'm gay, friends and family know,

    I have a boyfriend, we live together, we're happy BUT I still find it hard when it comes to things like conversations in work. I always omit information that may give away I'm gay. I don't know why I do it, I'm ashamed I do it. Anyone else have similar struggles or use to...
    rb1987 rb1987 26-30, M 3 Responses Sep 3

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    Sometimes I just feel like it would be easier

    if I was straight. But then I realise how much I'd miss about guys if I was.
    Disqualify Disqualify 13-15, M 4 Responses Oct 10

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    Most religious groups are against gay marriage

    (I said most not all) I remember in high school one of my Christian friends fell out with me because I was gay and called it disgusting we got into an argument where I simply said " doesn't the bible say love thy neighbour... Well what if your neighbours gay?" To which she had...
    ElizaChloe ElizaChloe 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 30

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    I Blame You !

    Well my story is going to be long but it's not going to be dull i can assure you ! It all started when i was little i had friend who was my neighbour and we were like 6-7 , and he always wanted to touch me and experiment with me. I didn't seem to mind cause i didn't had anything...
    stormy366 stormy366 18-21, M 6 Responses Oct 29, 2011

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    I AM HIV+…AND I HAVE FOUND LOVE…ON EP!

    ! The last story I had shared was one in which I had posed a question…at what point in a relationship does sex become secondary? That was back in October. I had been in a relationship since the previous May with a kind hearted man who was good to me. I had originally been...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 1 Response May 2

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    So I'm not actually gay (I'm pan

    but whatever) but I'm scared to actually come out to my family. I mean, it's easier to tell friends or tell people online but when it comes to family it's really hard. Both my grandparents on my mother side are Cristina pastors and my grandfather on my dad's side is a Christian...
    Barakaflacka Barakaflacka 16-17, M 2 Responses Sep 6

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    I know deep down inside I am gay,

    I have fought this since I was a child, never understanding why this was happening to me. People preached that it was alwful and that you should be put to death. Iam a simple man, you would never knew I was gay! Just a good ole country boy with a broken heart!
    SexuBio SexuBio 18-21, M 7 Responses Oct 7

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    It sounds weird that

    since I have converted to Catholicism and have grown in Christ that I have finally accepted the fact that I'm gay. I have yet to come out to all of my friends- only two know- and I'm not sure how to come out to some in my family...
    jbussing jbussing 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 4

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    People always ask me.

    . "Why did you choose to be gay?" I would always reply "I didn't choose to be gay, if I could, why would I choose all this taunting and teasing?"
    austintsnelson austintsnelson 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 4

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    Old Bent And Queer

    There is a lot of talent up town for the festival. All these fit dudes  in their twenties.Its depressing. Young enough to be my offspring and the parents of my grandchildren. Handy trick if you're gay. Two generations deserves an award. Or disqualification. Life just has a laugh...
    Pa1nsMcmurdo Pa1nsMcmurdo 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    2013

    It has been a long time since the last time a shared a “story”, Yet, so many things have happened in my life (mostly good), that I have decided to once more sit down and share. Truly 2012 was a blessed year for me. I had my social “coming-out” as a gay man…and to be...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 9 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    I find it hard to deal with

    but i know i am well...gay I've already accepted this what im worried is that if come out my parents will have a fit cause of religious reasons when I consider myself and atheist but if im to come out about that it'd make things even worse.
    Joshuadd07 Joshuadd07 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 7

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    I found out that I was gay in the middle of my

    teen years and feel comfortable with it, but it's been hard being myself because I haven't come out to my dad yet or my family because I don't know if they'd accept me being in a Christian lifestyle. I've come out to my friends and they thankfully have accepted me. Dating-wise...
    jamie1292 jamie1292 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    Gay In Yemen

    This is a summary of my life till now, and almost every gay person who is living in one of the 7 countries which denies gay rights and perform death penalty on those who have sexual gay relations has the same life or maybe worse because of that: I am a gay Muslim, living and...
    yemengay yemengay 22-25, M 10 Responses May 16, 2013

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    Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

    There's nothing wrong with being gay but it's just hard I've recently been coming out of the closet but I haven't to my parents kus they don't accept me for who I am now let alone being gay And I start community college soon and how do I get into the dating world when I'm...
    Vaughn37 Vaughn37 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 16

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    Small Town, Nothing In Common.

    All the gay guys at my high school well you can tell they are gay. I dont understand it. How come im gay but i dont even act it? I im glad i dont but I wish there were just more people like me where I live. If I said Im gay they wouldnt think that Im just a regular guy they would...
    tomtombear tomtombear 18-21, M 29 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    I Am a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual But No One Can Know.

    For those who feel like they are uncool, no one knows them and they're just not one of the popular kids, I feel for you but then again I would rather put myself in your shoes than to live a life that I have right now where everyone surrounds me expect something of me or even look...
    confusion confusion 26-30, F 18 Responses Oct 3, 2007

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    A lot of people call me gay.

    I haven't come out of the closet. I just blow it off. And my friends stick up for me and tell people I'm not gay. It kills me that my friends don't know I'm gay but I can't come out of the closet.
    Zaqhary Zaqhary 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I battle with the homosexual spirit.

    ... I want a family a wife and kids..... I love God and my savior Jesus Christ... I know the homosexual life style is wrong.... But I don't understand why I have to deal with this.... This is something that I have prayed and cried about and have asked God not to let me give in...
    Tired23 Tired23 22-25, M 4 Responses Jul 25

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    The stupidest girl in the world asked me "if

    being gay is so hard why don't you just be straight?" If only it was that easy!!!!
    Zaqhary Zaqhary 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    I know i am gay but i am just

    so scared to come out. I am afraid people around me will treat me differently. I have been around straight guys and i know how they make fun and ridicule gay people. I don't want to be treated that way. But i feel so lonely being in the closet and i felt i am wasting my time...
    davidnathan davidnathan 31-35, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    I'm Gay And I Hate It!

    I'm a 25 years old gay guy. My first fantasy about males that I could remember was when I was about 9 years old, and my first sexual experience with a boy when I was 15 years old. I don't really know WHY I'm gay! Why I like guys and don't like girls? I have every right to know...
    sadness707 sadness707 22-25, M 32 Responses Nov 13, 2011

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    I don't understand today how being gay is truly

    accepted. Today the most acceptance is "I'm okay with yo being gay" or "I'm happy for you." True acceptance would be "so?" Only then is it truly acceptance. Because then being gay isn't different or weird. It's nothing different. It's just normal. It's insignificant.
    WrongfulAngel WrongfulAngel 13-15, T 4 Responses Mar 21

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    I hate myself. I push people away,

    I'm depressed, I hate who I am, I hate what I look like, I'm just a poor excuse for a human... Most of my problems are because I'm gay, and I just hate it. I would do or give anything to be straight, but of course I have to be gay, and I can't ever be happy. I've tried...
    Kyros09 Kyros09 16-17, M 4 Responses Jun 22

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    Here I am again complaining about being gay.

    Here I am again feeling like absolute ****. Here I am again wanting to die and end it all. Why do I like my own gender? Why do I find them attractive? Why do I think of them? Who on Mother Earth would even think about having sex with the same gender or even marrying one? WTF! I...
    Abdulaziz94 Abdulaziz94 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 5

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    My family still wishing

    that I am dating girl but I am not attractive to them I just wish they understand and we are a Christian family. I am gay and a Christian but I didn't chose to be like this I had fought it for so long and it been 3 year since I accepted who I am I been more happier but wish they...
    rukateria rukateria 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 14

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    I hate who I am, I hate not having a choice.

    I hate that it feels like my life dreams of a family and getting married have been stolen from me. My attempts at trying to change this just keep failing. Most of all I feel venerable to the world where people hate you for being gay, judge you and believe its a choice. Why...
    pyroguy80 pyroguy80 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 18

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    My urges to have sex with men are

    so strong now. I love my wife but it has become clear to me that I am gay. When I admit my homosexuality to myself I feel so free. When I tell other gay men I'm gay I feel so alive. When I think about telling my wife I feel ashamed that I couldn't or wouldn't admit to her that...
    walkingcast1 walkingcast1 41-45, M 5 Responses Sep 18

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    Gay, Celibate, Christian Just Wanting To Find That Someone To Hold At Night

    I was raised in a Christian home, by two parents that were present in my life, and have been married for 20 years now and are very happy. I have never seen them fight once. I have a half-brother that is 5 years older than me, and we don't get along and never have. I have a step...
    jennings2012 jennings2012 18-21, M 24 Responses Aug 9, 2012

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    Mom.

    I've tried to tell mom that I'M gay a couple of times before and (if you read my first story you know how that ended) it was so bad... So now I'M here... Three years after all that **** happened and we "Moved on"... My mom talks to me about girls... just to know if im dating...
    josean03 josean03 18-21, M 8 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    I was married and miserable

    as a closeted bisexual male. Got divorced, married a very understanding woman and now we have sex with each other and occasionally share a guy
    Metoo50 Metoo50 56-60, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It's a process that everyone goes through

    if you lucky you accept it before you're 25, if your unlucky you'll go crazy at 45 when you have a wife and kids and wish you didn't waste all that time!! COME TO THE DARK SIDE - we have cookies! - message me if you want to talk guys. Zack 21 london.
    zacklengthorn zacklengthorn 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I'm out to my friends

    and everyone I know. If anyone asks my sexuality, I'd say I'm gay. But I'm not sure about telling my dad. He's very homophobic, and I don't want to be kicked out of my own home. I don't know.
    PFowler PFowler 16-17, M 4 Responses Sep 24

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    I don't want to leave my wife

    but I'm realizing that I want to be honest about who I am. I struggle with being gay because I have deceived people (wife, family, friends, neighbors) into thinking I'm straight for so long. I suspect some people would say "it's about time" if I were to come out. I want to come...
    walkingcast1 walkingcast1 41-45, M 5 Responses Sep 22

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    Being gay is not fun to me.

    I'm Muslim and I'm proud thank god but being gay has caused me nothing but troubles and misery. I wish I had a boyfriend but at the same time I hate the thought of being with a guy! It's wrong and it makes me feel completely guilty. It's the worst feeling ever. I wish I had...
    Abdulaziz94 Abdulaziz94 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 18

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    Don't Waste Your Life

    Being sexually attracted to men has been around longer than the bible and has been part of mankind since the being. Life is short. Live life to the fullest. Don't wait until you're older and regret wasting your youth. It is easier said than done, I realize that. But there is...
    soburied soburied 51-55, M 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I come from a big Irish family

    and although everyone has been amazing about me coming out, sometimes, I wish I wasn't gay because it makes me think that maybe things would be easier. Idk. It could be to do with my mental illness too. I struggle with being gay because I'm scared about what people will say but...
    romanalanski romanalanski 18-21, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I just had my first experience

    and it was with a man.
    Tom1429 Tom1429 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 6

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    I'm struggling about my sexuality.

    ... Is there anyone who can help me out from this plzzzzzzzzz
    jkmkjk jkmkjk 22-25 3 Responses Feb 23

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    How U Know If Ur Really Gay?

    i'm 14, and don't really like girls in that way and been thinking i may be gay because i like hanging out with guys and wrestling and horsing around would like the mess around with another boy, but i am scared about being gay because i live in conservative area and parents are...
    DaytonW14 DaytonW14 13-15, M 11 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    The first time I knew I was gay was the age of

    11. The second I realised it I ran to my room and started crying until my eyes hurt, I remember this day so clearly because it was also the day I realised my father would never be able to accept it. As I was sobbing on my by bed my father came into my room and grabbed me by the...
    Takino Takino 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 11

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    I wish I could just like women

    and be normal. Liking guys has taken me to the lowest point of my life
    lostsoul9011 lostsoul9011 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 10

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    I am struggling to be

    who i am. I even hate myself for just being who i am. And it keeps killing me from inside that i sometimes brusted into tears or couldnt breath when i had to pretend that i am not gay. I just wanted to find someone to talk...
    stableanchor stableanchor 18-21 2 Responses Jun 16

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    What's a Guy to Do?

    Okay, Im sitting here writing this at 2:00AM. Im Pretty much loosing sleep over the fact that im Gay. Just seeing those three little letters on my computer screen is causing me discomfort. Im hoping that I can at least get some support or ideas on this site. Im still "...
    gallagher22 gallagher22 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    Hi there. Actually I'm no longer struggling :-)

    I had a really really hard time but managed to get out of my depression with help of my best friend (and some professionals). I'm much stronger now, and want to use my experience to help others who are having a hard time at this age being gay. I'm a pretty good listener, got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 10

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    Here's my story... Read it

    or not. I don't care. I'm gay but I'm also Christian and well that mixes as well as water mixes with oil. Especially when you have hard core Christian that you also love and grew up in the church. I know what's right from wrong and I try to suppress my urges and sometimes I...
    kp4w kp4w 18-21, M 7 Responses Aug 9

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    Sometimes I'll go to a **** shop

    or book store to purchase gay ****. If the store is empty I go to the gay area of the store and check out the selections. If not I can't bring myself to go to the gay section. Especially if there is woman present. I don't know why it matters to me. If the cashier is a woman I...
    walkingcast1 walkingcast1 41-45, M 2 Responses Sep 29

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    Life Is Weird

    Ok so I'm 18 and have been out to only my bf who is a girl and she is pretty gay friendly but yet again she was shocked and couldn't believe that I was gay. I know we all got issues in life, but sometimes I seriously wonder why was I randomly chosen to live the life a gay person...
    GG1234 GG1234 18-21, M 9 Responses Jan 26, 2011

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    I worked our I was gay at a later age,

    how anyone could believe that this life is a choice is beyond me, I hate the fact I'm gay, that my dreams of being a dad and having a family were stolen from me. What's even worse is that the gay community is even more judgmental and superficial the the heterosexuals that hate...
    pyroguy80 pyroguy80 31-35, M 4 Responses Jul 29

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    Homosexuals are EVIL!

    no offense but think of all the evil things we do! God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve! Repent before it's too late! I NEVER liked the gay life style never will! It's not right to like the same gender it's weird and it's wrong! I regret being born gay it has caused me...
    Abdulaziz94 Abdulaziz94 18-21, M 5 Responses Aug 3

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    I really need your help/opinions.

    I'm 17 and I hate labels cause then people will judge you but I wanted to ask what you think: am I gay or bi? I'm pretty sure I'm bi but maybe I'm just scared of being full out gay. So I'm friends with lots of girls and I always have feelings for them at first then it goes away...
    rchris96 rchris96 16-17, M 5 Responses Jun 15

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    I am falling for a guy I met over a cam site,

    i think he's really genuine... I don't think that he's just amusing me... He lives a short plane ride away and i don't even know if he likes me like that or just leading me on... Is it stupid that I'm falling for this guy?
    RecycledEmotions RecycledEmotions 18-21, M 4 Responses Jun 30

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