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I Am Struggling With Being Gay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,262 People

    I am terrified of discrimination

    for being gay. All I want is to be able to live my life without my identity experiencing so much hate. I feel like I have to lie about who I am until I feel safe and comfortable around people.
    ajusu ajusu 22-25, M Dec 15, 2014

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    I don't have the courage to bring home my

    partner, It could go ugly. Not that I have a boyfriend, to begin with, but contemplating the future sometimes is hurtful considering I don't have much inspiration or support.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2014

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    Gay In Yemen

    This is a summary of my life till now, and almost every gay person who is living in one of the 7 countries which denies gay rights and perform death penalty on those who have sexual gay relations has the same life or maybe worse because of that: I am a gay Muslim, living and...
    yemengay yemengay 22-25, M 11 Responses May 16, 2013

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    I'm struggling about my sexuality.

    ... Is there anyone who can help me out from this plzzzzzzzzz
    jkmkjk jkmkjk 22-25 2 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I'm gay, friends and family know,

    I have a boyfriend, we live together, we're happy BUT I still find it hard when it comes to things like conversations in work. I always omit information that may give away I'm gay. I don't know why I do it, I'm ashamed I do it. Anyone else have similar struggles or use to...
    rb1987 rb1987 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

    There's nothing wrong with being gay but it's just hard I've recently been coming out of the closet but I haven't to my parents kus they don't accept me for who I am now let alone being gay And I start community college soon and how do I get into the dating world when I'm...
    Vaughn37 Vaughn37 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

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    Life Is Weird

    Ok so I'm 18 and have been out to only my bf who is a girl and she is pretty gay friendly but yet again she was shocked and couldn't believe that I was gay. I know we all got issues in life, but sometimes I seriously wonder why was I randomly chosen to live the life a gay person...
    GG1234 GG1234 18-21, M 8 Responses Jan 26, 2011

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    I battle with the homosexual spirit.

    ... I want a family a wife and kids..... I love God and my savior Jesus Christ... I know the homosexual life style is wrong.... But I don't understand why I have to deal with this.... This is something that I have prayed and cried about and have asked God not to let me give in...
    Tired23 Tired23 22-25, M 5 Responses Jul 25, 2014

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    I Blame You !

    Well my story is going to be long but it's not going to be dull i can assure you ! It all started when i was little i had friend who was my neighbour and we were like 6-7 , and he always wanted to touch me and experiment with me. I didn't seem to mind cause i didn't had anything...
    stormy366 stormy366 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 29, 2011

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    I wish I could just like women

    and be normal. Liking guys has taken me to the lowest point of my life
    lostsoul9011 lostsoul9011 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    I just had my first experience

    and it was with a man.
    Tom1429 Tom1429 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    People always ask me.

    . "Why did you choose to be gay?" I would always reply "I didn't choose to be gay, if I could, why would I choose all this taunting and teasing?"
    austintsnelson austintsnelson 16-17, M 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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    It's funny how much changes in a little under 2

    years. Since i last wrote on here - i was a closeted homosexual who has had very limited experiences with other homosexuals. My family did not know, and only a handful of friends knew. I was stuck, i was going no where. Shortly after my hiatus from this website - i took an...
    judeau9 judeau9 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 9

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    Here's my story... Read it

    or not. I don't care. I'm gay but I'm also Christian and well that mixes as well as water mixes with oil. Especially when you have hard core Christian that you also love and grew up in the church. I know what's right from wrong and I try to suppress my urges and sometimes I...
    kp4w kp4w 18-21, M 8 Responses Aug 9, 2014

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    My wife is doing really well,

    and for the first time, I realized that she's going to be ok. I want that for her but it also makes me sad. She's probably going to find someone else and then I won't be the person that knows her best. It makes me sad but ultimately I really do want her to be happy.
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm struggling with it

    because I don't want anyone to find out. (With the exception of those who already know.) I don't want them to judge me, but then again I could care less what people think. I also like to keep my personal life separate from my social one.
    NobodyLove NobodyLove 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 10

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    Gay, Celibate, Christian Just Wanting To Find That Someone To Hold At Night

    I was raised in a Christian home, by two parents that were present in my life, and have been married for 20 years now and are very happy. I have never seen them fight once. I have a half-brother that is 5 years older than me, and we don't get along and never have. I have a step...
    jennings2012 jennings2012 18-21, M 23 Responses Aug 9, 2012

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    I AM HIV+…AND I HAVE FOUND LOVE…ON EP!

    ! The last story I had shared was one in which I had posed a question…at what point in a relationship does sex become secondary? That was back in October. I had been in a relationship since the previous May with a kind hearted man who was good to me. I had originally been...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 1 Response May 2, 2014

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    I am a bisexual female.

    I am also a Christian. I come from a Bible believing family and they are the most important people in my life. My freshman year of high school was when I realized that I was bi, but looking back on my childhood, I know that I always was. My junior year I met this girl who's...
    mn0528 mn0528 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    I am SO done with EP

    if you want to talk to me, message me at majestictaco on Skype!
    nryoung nryoung 16-17, M Feb 14

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    I just can't cope just ppl are just

    so mean to mean to me now
    silverstrike silverstrike 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    I've know I am gay since I was about 13.

    I denied it even as I fantasized about gay sex. I have come to embrace being gay, it is all I have ever known. Still there is that part of me that wants wanted a relationship with a woman. I think it is was what comes from a relationship with a woman; a child. And yes there is a...
    Scott1954 Scott1954 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 13

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    I have a boyfriend of two months

    and he's great! He's perfect and an awesome guy but I feel that my struggle is holding me back. I start to wonder if I want to be with him and how. I have times where I'm confident to take on the world but then retreat. I'm wonder if I'm confused and if I'm bisexual because I...
    kidflash360 kidflash360 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 9

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    Being gay is something

    that I just recently realized that I am. I wasn't one of those who thought I've been gay since I was four, it literally was something I just sort of realized. I never really thought about sexuality before. I never looked at either sex and teenagers are supposed to be horny...
    gamerboy2001 gamerboy2001 13-15, M 3 Responses Dec 2, 2014

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    Okay so this is kind of hard to admit,

    but I guess with the tittle, it's kind of obvious. I am gay. I figured it out 3 years ago, how? Uh... Haha, I'm not exactly sure how. But yeah, I am hesitant about befriending guys, sorry guys. I prefer women, as friends, because of traumatic childhood moments in my life that I...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 18, 2014

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    I'm in love with a boy named Isai.

    Now since I'm young i obviously ways to go but he told this girl she was his present and that tore my heart. I didn't know what to think or feel but I'm suicidal.
    VINCEx62 VINCEx62 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I come from a big Irish family

    and although everyone has been amazing about me coming out, sometimes, I wish I wasn't gay because it makes me think that maybe things would be easier. Idk. It could be to do with my mental illness too. I struggle with being gay because I'm scared about what people will say but...
    romanalanski romanalanski 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    I just saw one of my wife's cousins,

    normally she would wave and say hi, today she looked at me and walked away. As much as I don't want to admit it, it hurt. It makes me feel like, "so that's how that side of the family feels about this". I'm not mad, just hurt, I'll get over it tho...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Mar 8

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    ADVICE FROM WOMEN ONLY!

    ! PLEASE!! Okay, so I'm a gay male, but I don't think guys would understand this, I think this is more on the feminine side of topics... so yeah, so I got this silver bullet, and well, Ever since I got this vibrator I've seen nothing but condoms pop out at me in grocery stores...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    Small Town, Nothing In Common.

    All the gay guys at my high school well you can tell they are gay. I dont understand it. How come im gay but i dont even act it? I im glad i dont but I wish there were just more people like me where I live. If I said Im gay they wouldnt think that Im just a regular guy they would...
    tomtombear tomtombear 18-21, M 29 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    Never gonna find someone I love

    who will love me back. When they love me back, I don't love them. When I love them, they don't love me back.......what's the point?
    andrew24601 andrew24601 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    2013

    It has been a long time since the last time a shared a “story”, Yet, so many things have happened in my life (mostly good), that I have decided to once more sit down and share. Truly 2012 was a blessed year for me. I had my social “coming-out” as a gay man…and to be...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    The Tough Guy.

    I was that guy. The one trying to be tough, trying to be anything but gay. I knew 100 slandering gay jokes, called every "weak" person a *** or a c0ck sucker. It was so intentional that I must have been hiding from my self. I was hiding. These days I am still hiding but at least...
    adamrising adamrising 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 11, 2013

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    Sometimes I just feel like it would be easier

    if I was straight. But then I realise how much I'd miss about guys if I was.
    Disqualify Disqualify 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 10, 2014

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    Mom.

    I've tried to tell mom that I'M gay a couple of times before and (if you read my first story you know how that ended) it was so bad... So now I'M here... Three years after all that **** happened and we "Moved on"... My mom talks to me about girls... just to know if im dating...
    josean03 josean03 18-21, M 7 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    I'm out to my friends

    and everyone I know. If anyone asks my sexuality, I'd say I'm gay. But I'm not sure about telling my dad. He's very homophobic, and I don't want to be kicked out of my own home. I don't know.
    PFowler PFowler 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 24, 2014

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    Old Bent And Queer

    There is a lot of talent up town for the festival. All these fit dudes  in their twenties.Its depressing. Young enough to be my offspring and the parents of my grandchildren. Handy trick if you're gay. Two generations deserves an award. Or disqualification. Life just has a laugh...
    Pa1nsMcmurdo Pa1nsMcmurdo 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Hey! :) So yes as u probably had already seen

    im gay, well actualy im the only one who knows so i think it doesnt count... :p I fell deeply depressed some times because of this, im gay, i know it for sure, and im kind of...afraid to tell everyone because i dont know what can happen after that. The thing i love the most is...
    Bral05 Bral05 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 5

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    Don't Waste Your Life

    Being sexually attracted to men has been around longer than the bible and has been part of mankind since the being. Life is short. Live life to the fullest. Don't wait until you're older and regret wasting your youth. It is easier said than done, I realize that. But there is...
    soburied soburied 51-55, M 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I find it hard to deal with

    but i know i am well...gay I've already accepted this what im worried is that if come out my parents will have a fit cause of religious reasons when I consider myself and atheist but if im to come out about that it'd make things even worse.
    Joshuadd07 Joshuadd07 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    Wtf ?! I don't feel related to what've written

    before , not even sure about my sexuality anymore !
    rogersphy rogersphy 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 30

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    Here I am again at the end of the day missing

    my wife and kids. I still see them, but obviously everything is exceptionally different. I want to sleep in the same bed, share the couch, just be a family again. The end of the day is always hard I'm finally alone and left to my thoughts. As much as I miss my old life it's...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

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    A lot of people call me gay.

    I haven't come out of the closet. I just blow it off. And my friends stick up for me and tell people I'm not gay. It kills me that my friends don't know I'm gay but I can't come out of the closet.
    Zaqhary Zaqhary 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I was married and miserable

    as a closeted bisexual male. Got divorced, married a very understanding woman and now we have sex with each other and occasionally share a guy
    Metoo50 Metoo50 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    So I just turned 18 and am not to sure about

    anything. I need help and don't know who to talk to. You see ever since I can remember I have always been a little more on the feminine side. As a little kid I would dress up, more emotional, things like that. As I got older I realized that those weren't the typical things guys...
    umflic umflic 18-21, M 5 Responses Jan 9

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    The first time I knew I was gay was the age of

    11. The second I realised it I ran to my room and started crying until my eyes hurt, I remember this day so clearly because it was also the day I realised my father would never be able to accept it. As I was sobbing on my by bed my father came into my room and grabbed me by the...
    Takino Takino 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    Hi there. Actually I'm no longer struggling :-)

    I had a really really hard time but managed to get out of my depression with help of my best friend (and some professionals). I'm much stronger now, and want to use my experience to help others who are having a hard time at this age being gay. I'm a pretty good listener, got...
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