Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am Struggling With Being Gay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,261 People

    It's funny how much changes in a little under 2

    years. Since i last wrote on here - i was a closeted homosexual who has had very limited experiences with other homosexuals. My family did not know, and only a handful of friends knew. I was stuck, i was going no where. Shortly after my hiatus from this website - i took an...
    judeau9 judeau9 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't have the courage to bring home my

    partner, It could go ugly. Not that I have a boyfriend, to begin with, but contemplating the future sometimes is hurtful considering I don't have much inspiration or support.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm struggling with it

    because I don't want anyone to find out. (With the exception of those who already know.) I don't want them to judge me, but then again I could care less what people think. I also like to keep my personal life separate from my social one.
    NobodyLove NobodyLove 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't understand today how being gay is truly

    accepted. Today the most acceptance is "I'm okay with yo being gay" or "I'm happy for you." True acceptance would be "so?" Only then is it truly acceptance. Because then being gay isn't different or weird. It's nothing different. It's just normal. It's insignificant.
    WrongfulAngel WrongfulAngel 13-15, T 5 Responses Mar 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just had my first experience

    and it was with a man.
    Tom1429 Tom1429 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I come from a big Irish family

    and although everyone has been amazing about me coming out, sometimes, I wish I wasn't gay because it makes me think that maybe things would be easier. Idk. It could be to do with my mental illness too. I struggle with being gay because I'm scared about what people will say but...
    romanalanski romanalanski 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I know i am gay but i am just

    so scared to come out. I am afraid people around me will treat me differently. I have been around straight guys and i know how they make fun and ridicule gay people. I don't want to be treated that way. But i feel so lonely being in the closet and i felt i am wasting my time...
    davidnathan davidnathan 31-35, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being gay is something

    that I just recently realized that I am. I wasn't one of those who thought I've been gay since I was four, it literally was something I just sort of realized. I never really thought about sexuality before. I never looked at either sex and teenagers are supposed to be horny...
    gamerboy2001 gamerboy2001 13-15, M 3 Responses Dec 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was married and miserable

    as a closeted bisexual male. Got divorced, married a very understanding woman and now we have sex with each other and occasionally share a guy
    Metoo50 Metoo50 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Small Town, Nothing In Common.

    All the gay guys at my high school well you can tell they are gay. I dont understand it. How come im gay but i dont even act it? I im glad i dont but I wish there were just more people like me where I live. If I said Im gay they wouldnt think that Im just a regular guy they would...
    tomtombear tomtombear 18-21, M 29 Responses Dec 2, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ADVICE FROM WOMEN ONLY!

    ! PLEASE!! Okay, so I'm a gay male, but I don't think guys would understand this, I think this is more on the feminine side of topics... so yeah, so I got this silver bullet, and well, Ever since I got this vibrator I've seen nothing but condoms pop out at me in grocery stores...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm in love with a boy named Isai.

    Now since I'm young i obviously ways to go but he told this girl she was his present and that tore my heart. I didn't know what to think or feel but I'm suicidal.
    VINCEx62 VINCEx62 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a bisexual female.

    I am also a Christian. I come from a Bible believing family and they are the most important people in my life. My freshman year of high school was when I realized that I was bi, but looking back on my childhood, I know that I always was. My junior year I met this girl who's...
    mn0528 mn0528 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I just turned 18 and am not to sure about

    anything. I need help and don't know who to talk to. You see ever since I can remember I have always been a little more on the feminine side. As a little kid I would dress up, more emotional, things like that. As I got older I realized that those weren't the typical things guys...
    umflic umflic 18-21, M 5 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2013

    It has been a long time since the last time a shared a “story”, Yet, so many things have happened in my life (mostly good), that I have decided to once more sit down and share. Truly 2012 was a blessed year for me. I had my social “coming-out” as a gay man…and to be...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Blame You !

    Well my story is going to be long but it's not going to be dull i can assure you ! It all started when i was little i had friend who was my neighbour and we were like 6-7 , and he always wanted to touch me and experiment with me. I didn't seem to mind cause i didn't had anything...
    stormy366 stormy366 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 29, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hey! :) So yes as u probably had already seen

    im gay, well actualy im the only one who knows so i think it doesnt count... :p I fell deeply depressed some times because of this, im gay, i know it for sure, and im kind of...afraid to tell everyone because i dont know what can happen after that. The thing i love the most is...
    Bral05 Bral05 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My wife is doing really well,

    and for the first time, I realized that she's going to be ok. I want that for her but it also makes me sad. She's probably going to find someone else and then I won't be the person that knows her best. It makes me sad but ultimately I really do want her to be happy.
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 4 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm gay, friends and family know,

    I have a boyfriend, we live together, we're happy BUT I still find it hard when it comes to things like conversations in work. I always omit information that may give away I'm gay. I don't know why I do it, I'm ashamed I do it. Anyone else have similar struggles or use to...
    rb1987 rb1987 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never gonna find someone I love

    who will love me back. When they love me back, I don't love them. When I love them, they don't love me back.......what's the point?
    andrew24601 andrew24601 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm out to my friends

    and everyone I know. If anyone asks my sexuality, I'd say I'm gay. But I'm not sure about telling my dad. He's very homophobic, and I don't want to be kicked out of my own home. I don't know.
    PFowler PFowler 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wtf ?! I don't feel related to what've written

    before , not even sure about my sexuality anymore !
    rogersphy rogersphy 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What's a Guy to Do?

    Okay, Im sitting here writing this at 2:00AM. Im Pretty much loosing sleep over the fact that im Gay. Just seeing those three little letters on my computer screen is causing me discomfort. Im hoping that I can at least get some support or ideas on this site. Im still "...
    gallagher22 gallagher22 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People always ask me.

    . "Why did you choose to be gay?" I would always reply "I didn't choose to be gay, if I could, why would I choose all this taunting and teasing?"
    austintsnelson austintsnelson 16-17, M 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate who I am, I hate not having a choice.

    I hate that it feels like my life dreams of a family and getting married have been stolen from me. My attempts at trying to change this just keep failing. Most of all I feel venerable to the world where people hate you for being gay, judge you and believe its a choice. Why...
    pyroguy80 pyroguy80 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I battle with the homosexual spirit.

    ... I want a family a wife and kids..... I love God and my savior Jesus Christ... I know the homosexual life style is wrong.... But I don't understand why I have to deal with this.... This is something that I have prayed and cried about and have asked God not to let me give in...
    Tired23 Tired23 22-25, M 5 Responses Jul 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Gay, Celibate, Christian Just Wanting To Find That Someone To Hold At Night

    I was raised in a Christian home, by two parents that were present in my life, and have been married for 20 years now and are very happy. I have never seen them fight once. I have a half-brother that is 5 years older than me, and we don't get along and never have. I have a step...
    jennings2012 jennings2012 18-21, M 23 Responses Aug 9, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Here I am again at the end of the day missing

    my wife and kids. I still see them, but obviously everything is exceptionally different. I want to sleep in the same bed, share the couch, just be a family again. The end of the day is always hard I'm finally alone and left to my thoughts. As much as I miss my old life it's...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mom.

    I've tried to tell mom that I'M gay a couple of times before and (if you read my first story you know how that ended) it was so bad... So now I'M here... Three years after all that **** happened and we "Moved on"... My mom talks to me about girls... just to know if im dating...
    josean03 josean03 18-21, M 7 Responses Nov 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm struggling about my sexuality.

    ... Is there anyone who can help me out from this plzzzzzzzzz
    jkmkjk jkmkjk 22-25 2 Responses Feb 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just saw one of my wife's cousins,

    normally she would wave and say hi, today she looked at me and walked away. As much as I don't want to admit it, it hurt. It makes me feel like, "so that's how that side of the family feels about this". I'm not mad, just hurt, I'll get over it tho...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Mar 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Life Is Weird

    Ok so I'm 18 and have been out to only my bf who is a girl and she is pretty gay friendly but yet again she was shocked and couldn't believe that I was gay. I know we all got issues in life, but sometimes I seriously wonder why was I randomly chosen to live the life a gay person...
    GG1234 GG1234 18-21, M 8 Responses Jan 26, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wish I could just like women

    and be normal. Liking guys has taken me to the lowest point of my life
    lostsoul9011 lostsoul9011 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Here's my story... Read it

    or not. I don't care. I'm gay but I'm also Christian and well that mixes as well as water mixes with oil. Especially when you have hard core Christian that you also love and grew up in the church. I know what's right from wrong and I try to suppress my urges and sometimes I...
    kp4w kp4w 18-21, M 8 Responses Aug 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've know I am gay since I was about 13.

    I denied it even as I fantasized about gay sex. I have come to embrace being gay, it is all I have ever known. Still there is that part of me that wants wanted a relationship with a woman. I think it is was what comes from a relationship with a woman; a child. And yes there is a...
    Scott1954 Scott1954 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just can't cope just ppl are just

    so mean to mean to me now
    silverstrike silverstrike 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hello reader, So it's time

    for me to get personal about a subject that is so near and dear to my heart. Since I was a freshman in high school (I'm now a sophomore in college) I've known I was gay. I've never necessarily struggled with being gay, it's something I've always accepted, but I never "came out...
    oscaxr oscaxr 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am SO done with EP

    if you want to talk to me, message me at majestictaco on Skype!
    nryoung nryoung 16-17, M Feb 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

    There's nothing wrong with being gay but it's just hard I've recently been coming out of the closet but I haven't to my parents kus they don't accept me for who I am now let alone being gay And I start community college soon and how do I get into the dating world when I'm...
    Vaughn37 Vaughn37 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual But No One Can Know.

    For those who feel like they are uncool, no one knows them and they're just not one of the popular kids, I feel for you but then again I would rather put myself in your shoes than to live a life that I have right now where everyone surrounds me expect something of me or even look...
    confusion confusion 26-30, F 18 Responses Oct 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Gay And I Hate It!

    I'm a 25 years old gay guy. My first fantasy about males that I could remember was when I was about 9 years old, and my first sexual experience with a boy when I was 15 years old. I don't really know WHY I'm gay! Why I like guys and don't like girls? I have every right to know...
    sadness707 sadness707 22-25, M 31 Responses Nov 13, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I had a dream my wife was dating a guy seriously

    and I was really hurt. To think of all the intimacy and love we shared and then to think of her sharing that with another man is painful. I know it's not fair and I want her to be happy, I really do. No matter how much support you have some roads you have to walk alone. I...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay so this is kind of hard to admit,

    but I guess with the tittle, it's kind of obvious. I am gay. I figured it out 3 years ago, how? Uh... Haha, I'm not exactly sure how. But yeah, I am hesitant about befriending guys, sorry guys. I prefer women, as friends, because of traumatic childhood moments in my life that I...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The first time I knew I was gay was the age of

    11. The second I realised it I ran to my room and started crying until my eyes hurt, I remember this day so clearly because it was also the day I realised my father would never be able to accept it. As I was sobbing on my by bed my father came into my room and grabbed me by the...
    Takino Takino 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I know that I have to "Find myself",

    but I don't even know how to start that process. What does that even mean? I know there's so much turmoil inside of me that things certainly aren't normal in there. Does anyone have any advice on "Finding Oneself"?
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am terrified of discrimination

    for being gay. All I want is to be able to live my life without my identity experiencing so much hate. I feel like I have to lie about who I am until I feel safe and comfortable around people.
    ajusu ajusu 22-25, M Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Gay In Yemen

    This is a summary of my life till now, and almost every gay person who is living in one of the 7 countries which denies gay rights and perform death penalty on those who have sexual gay relations has the same life or maybe worse because of that: I am a gay Muslim, living and...