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I Am Struggling With Being Gay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,278 People

    What's a Guy to Do?

    Okay, Im sitting here writing this at 2:00AM. Im Pretty much loosing sleep over the fact that im Gay. Just seeing those three little letters on my computer screen is causing me discomfort. Im hoping that I can at least get some support or ideas on this site. Im still "...
    gallagher22 gallagher22 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    Hi there. Actually I'm no longer struggling :-)

    I had a really really hard time but managed to get out of my depression with help of my best friend (and some professionals). I'm much stronger now, and want to use my experience to help others who are having a hard time at this age being gay. I'm a pretty good listener, got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 10, 2014

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    Here's my story... Read it

    or not. I don't care. I'm gay but I'm also Christian and well that mixes as well as water mixes with oil. Especially when you have hard core Christian that you also love and grew up in the church. I know what's right from wrong and I try to suppress my urges and sometimes I...
    kp4w kp4w 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 9, 2014

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    I come from a big Irish family

    and although everyone has been amazing about me coming out, sometimes, I wish I wasn't gay because it makes me think that maybe things would be easier. Idk. It could be to do with my mental illness too. I struggle with being gay because I'm scared about what people will say but...
    romanalanski romanalanski 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    I have a boyfriend of two months

    and he's great! He's perfect and an awesome guy but I feel that my struggle is holding me back. I start to wonder if I want to be with him and how. I have times where I'm confident to take on the world but then retreat. I'm wonder if I'm confused and if I'm bisexual because I...
    kidflash360 kidflash360 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 9

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    I just can't cope just ppl are just

    so mean to mean to me now
    SpiritOfIzanagi SpiritOfIzanagi 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    I'm in love with a boy named Isai.

    Now since I'm young i obviously ways to go but he told this girl she was his present and that tore my heart. I didn't know what to think or feel but I'm suicidal.
    VINCEx62 VINCEx62 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I was married and miserable

    as a closeted bisexual male. Got divorced, married a very understanding woman and now we have sex with each other and occasionally share a guy
    Metoo50 Metoo50 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    I've been out for a little under 3 months

    and have had sex with one man. I used a condom, but did give him oral. He called me on Friday and told me he had both a positive and negative test for HIV. I got tested on Friday and found out today that the test was negative! I thank god for a second chance. I know I'll...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I wish I could just like women

    and be normal. Liking guys has taken me to the lowest point of my life
    lostsoul9011 lostsoul9011 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    I Blame You !

    Well my story is going to be long but it's not going to be dull i can assure you ! It all started when i was little i had friend who was my neighbour and we were like 6-7 , and he always wanted to touch me and experiment with me. I didn't seem to mind cause i didn't had anything...
    stormy366 stormy366 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 29, 2011

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    I had a dream my wife was dating a guy seriously

    and I was really hurt. To think of all the intimacy and love we shared and then to think of her sharing that with another man is painful. I know it's not fair and I want her to be happy, I really do. No matter how much support you have some roads you have to walk alone. I...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

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    Being gay is something

    that I just recently realized that I am. I wasn't one of those who thought I've been gay since I was four, it literally was something I just sort of realized. I never really thought about sexuality before. I never looked at either sex and teenagers are supposed to be horny...
    gamerboy2001 gamerboy2001 13-15, M 3 Responses Dec 2, 2014

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    I'm gay. I have my ups

    and downs with being gay. For example today I was quite happy being gay. I know that one day I'll be happy with my boyfriend or maybe husband, if it's allowed and have a joyful life. Other times I'm sad, because I'll have so much hate just for being me... And that is why I...
    hellotheremister hellotheremister 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    I don't even know where to start

    and that's exactly how I feel. I've been saying for the past two months that I don't want a relationship, only to realize that I do, it's exactly what I want. I meet these guys and I want it to be just me and them, but no relationship. News flash, to me, I can call it...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 2 Responses Apr 2

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    I battle with the homosexual spirit.

    ... I want a family a wife and kids..... I love God and my savior Jesus Christ... I know the homosexual life style is wrong.... But I don't understand why I have to deal with this.... This is something that I have prayed and cried about and have asked God not to let me give in...
    Tired23 Tired23 22-25, M 6 Responses Jul 25, 2014

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    I've know I am gay since I was about 13.

    I denied it even as I fantasized about gay sex. I have come to embrace being gay, it is all I have ever known. Still there is that part of me that wants wanted a relationship with a woman. I think it is was what comes from a relationship with a woman; a child. And yes there is a...
    Scott1954 Scott1954 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 13

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    Mom.

    I've tried to tell mom that I'M gay a couple of times before and (if you read my first story you know how that ended) it was so bad... So now I'M here... Three years after all that **** happened and we "Moved on"... My mom talks to me about girls... just to know if im dating...
    josean03 josean03 18-21, M 7 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    I am SO done with EP

    if you want to talk to me, message me at majestictaco on Skype!
    nryoung nryoung 16-17, M Feb 14

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    Small Town, Nothing In Common.

    All the gay guys at my high school well you can tell they are gay. I dont understand it. How come im gay but i dont even act it? I im glad i dont but I wish there were just more people like me where I live. If I said Im gay they wouldnt think that Im just a regular guy they would...
    tomtombear tomtombear 18-21, M 29 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    I don't understand today how being gay is truly

    accepted. Today the most acceptance is "I'm okay with yo being gay" or "I'm happy for you." True acceptance would be "so?" Only then is it truly acceptance. Because then being gay isn't different or weird. It's nothing different. It's just normal. It's insignificant.
    WrongfulAngel WrongfulAngel 13-15, T 5 Responses Mar 21, 2014

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    A lot of people call me gay.

    I haven't come out of the closet. I just blow it off. And my friends stick up for me and tell people I'm not gay. It kills me that my friends don't know I'm gay but I can't come out of the closet.
    Zaqhary Zaqhary 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    Old Bent And Queer

    There is a lot of talent up town for the festival. All these fit dudes  in their twenties.Its depressing. Young enough to be my offspring and the parents of my grandchildren. Handy trick if you're gay. Two generations deserves an award. Or disqualification. Life just has a laugh...
    Pa1nsMcmurdo Pa1nsMcmurdo 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Hey! :) So yes as u probably had already seen

    im gay, well actualy im the only one who knows so i think it doesnt count... :p I fell deeply depressed some times because of this, im gay, i know it for sure, and im kind of...afraid to tell everyone because i dont know what can happen after that. The thing i love the most is...
    Bral05 Bral05 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 5

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    So I know that I have to "Find myself",

    but I don't even know how to start that process. What does that even mean? I know there's so much turmoil inside of me that things certainly aren't normal in there. Does anyone have any advice on "Finding Oneself"?
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 16

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    It's funny how much changes in a little under 2

    years. Since i last wrote on here - i was a closeted homosexual who has had very limited experiences with other homosexuals. My family did not know, and only a handful of friends knew. I was stuck, i was going no where. Shortly after my hiatus from this website - i took an...
    judeau9 judeau9 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 9

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    I'm so tired of being alone,

    I used to love my alone time, now I have as much as I want and I'm completely unsatisfied. I spend my free time meeting people, trying to fill that hole. I just want someone to lay in bed with and talk to. Everything is so unfulfilling. I know it'll get better, I'm just...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 4 Responses Apr 9

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    I'm Gay And I Hate It!

    I'm a 25 years old gay guy. My first fantasy about males that I could remember was when I was about 9 years old, and my first sexual experience with a boy when I was 15 years old. I don't really know WHY I'm gay! Why I like guys and don't like girls? I have every right to know...
    sadness707 sadness707 22-25, M 31 Responses Nov 13, 2011

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    The Tough Guy.

    I was that guy. The one trying to be tough, trying to be anything but gay. I knew 100 slandering gay jokes, called every "weak" person a *** or a c0ck sucker. It was so intentional that I must have been hiding from my self. I was hiding. These days I am still hiding but at least...
    adamrising adamrising 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 11, 2013

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    I AM HIV+…AND I HAVE FOUND LOVE…ON EP!

    ! The last story I had shared was one in which I had posed a question…at what point in a relationship does sex become secondary? That was back in October. I had been in a relationship since the previous May with a kind hearted man who was good to me. I had originally been...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 1 Response May 2, 2014

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    Don't Waste Your Life

    Being sexually attracted to men has been around longer than the bible and has been part of mankind since the being. Life is short. Live life to the fullest. Don't wait until you're older and regret wasting your youth. It is easier said than done, I realize that. But there is...
    soburied soburied 51-55, M 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    ADVICE FROM WOMEN ONLY!

    ! PLEASE!! Okay, so I'm a gay male, but I don't think guys would understand this, I think this is more on the feminine side of topics... so yeah, so I got this silver bullet, and well, Ever since I got this vibrator I've seen nothing but condoms pop out at me in grocery stores...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    My wife is doing really well,

    and for the first time, I realized that she's going to be ok. I want that for her but it also makes me sad. She's probably going to find someone else and then I won't be the person that knows her best. It makes me sad but ultimately I really do want her to be happy.
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 4 Responses Mar 22

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    The first time I knew I was gay was the age of

    11. The second I realised it I ran to my room and started crying until my eyes hurt, I remember this day so clearly because it was also the day I realised my father would never be able to accept it. As I was sobbing on my by bed my father came into my room and grabbed me by the...
    Takino Takino 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    I am a bisexual female.

    I am also a Christian. I come from a Bible believing family and they are the most important people in my life. My freshman year of high school was when I realized that I was bi, but looking back on my childhood, I know that I always was. My junior year I met this girl who's...
    mn0528 mn0528 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    How U Know If Ur Really Gay?

    i'm 14, and don't really like girls in that way and been thinking i may be gay because i like hanging out with guys and wrestling and horsing around would like the mess around with another boy, but i am scared about being gay because i live in conservative area and parents are...
    DaytonW14 DaytonW14 13-15, M 10 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    I just saw one of my wife's cousins,

    normally she would wave and say hi, today she looked at me and walked away. As much as I don't want to admit it, it hurt. It makes me feel like, "so that's how that side of the family feels about this". I'm not mad, just hurt, I'll get over it tho...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Mar 8

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    Hello reader, So it's time

    for me to get personal about a subject that is so near and dear to my heart. Since I was a freshman in high school (I'm now a sophomore in college) I've known I was gay. I've never necessarily struggled with being gay, it's something I've always accepted, but I never "came out...
    oscaxr oscaxr 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    I Am a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual But No One Can Know.

    For those who feel like they are uncool, no one knows them and they're just not one of the popular kids, I feel for you but then again I would rather put myself in your shoes than to live a life that I have right now where everyone surrounds me expect something of me or even look...
    confusion confusion 26-30, F 18 Responses Oct 3, 2007

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    Here I am again at the end of the day missing

    my wife and kids. I still see them, but obviously everything is exceptionally different. I want to sleep in the same bed, share the couch, just be a family again. The end of the day is always hard I'm finally alone and left to my thoughts. As much as I miss my old life it's...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

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    First of all, can someone else start posting

    here too, I'm starting to look whiney, lol. So it seems like my life is an exercise in Murphy's Law as of late... So the guy I slept with a few weeks ago (I used a condom) told me, for sure now, that he found out he was positive for HIV. So I've already been tested and it was...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    I know i am gay but i am just

    so scared to come out. I am afraid people around me will treat me differently. I have been around straight guys and i know how they make fun and ridicule gay people. I don't want to be treated that way. But i feel so lonely being in the closet and i felt i am wasting my time...
    davidnathan davidnathan 31-35, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    Okay so this is kind of hard to admit,

    but I guess with the tittle, it's kind of obvious. I am gay. I figured it out 3 years ago, how? Uh... Haha, I'm not exactly sure how. But yeah, I am hesitant about befriending guys, sorry guys. I prefer women, as friends, because of traumatic childhood moments in my life that I...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 18, 2014

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    Wtf ?! I don't feel related to what've written

    before , not even sure about my sexuality anymore !
    rogersphy rogersphy 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 30

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    I'm struggling about my sexuality.

    ... Is there anyone who can help me out from this plzzzzzzzzz
    jkmkjk jkmkjk 22-25 2 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

    There's nothing wrong with being gay but it's just hard I've recently been coming out of the closet but I haven't to my parents kus they don't accept me for who I am now let alone being gay And I start community college soon and how do I get into the dating world when I'm...
    Vaughn37 Vaughn37 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

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