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I Am Struggling With Being Gay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,329 People

    Here I am again at the end of the day missing

    my wife and kids. I still see them, but obviously everything is exceptionally different. I want to sleep in the same bed, share the couch, just be a family again. The end of the day is always hard I'm finally alone and left to my thoughts. As much as I miss my old life it's...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Mar 9

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    Sucks not being able to come out to your family

    knowing that they don't accept gays ..
    Angelsoto30 Angelsoto30 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 7

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    I had a dream my wife was dating a guy seriously

    and I was really hurt. To think of all the intimacy and love we shared and then to think of her sharing that with another man is painful. I know it's not fair and I want her to be happy, I really do. No matter how much support you have some roads you have to walk alone. I...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 9

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    2013

    It has been a long time since the last time a shared a “story”, Yet, so many things have happened in my life (mostly good), that I have decided to once more sit down and share. Truly 2012 was a blessed year for me. I had my social “coming-out” as a gay man…and to be...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 7 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    well iv only been on EP

    for a short time but im starting to make new friends by talking to other gay men i now know im not the only person who has been struggling wi being gay so if there some gay men what needs to talk im a good listen its made me feel loads better about myself to be able to share my...
    12monty 12monty 51-55, M May 10

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    I have a major problem with my best friend he's

    heterosexual and I'm homosexual but I have really gotten to know him over the past few months during lunch at school and I like him I guess. I'm stuck and confused about what I should do or want to-do. I'm not going to ask him out or anything but should I tell him I like him and...
    nathan5081 nathan5081 16-17, M 5 Responses May 7

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    Gay In Yemen

    This is a summary of my life till now, and almost every gay person who is living in one of the 7 countries which denies gay rights and perform death penalty on those who have sexual gay relations has the same life or maybe worse because of that: I am a gay Muslim, living and...
    yemengay yemengay 22-25, M 12 Responses May 16, 2013

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    I'm 31 years old, and

    for as long as I can remember I've been dodging the fact that I'm at least bisexual or gay. It's taken up so much of my strength and, looking back, has shaped so many of my decisions, whether they big or just everyday interactions with people. I've come to a critical crossroads...
    thanks4listening thanks4listening 31-35, M 7 Responses May 9

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    I've been out for a little under 3 months

    and have had sex with one man. I used a condom, but did give him oral. He called me on Friday and told me he had both a positive and negative test for HIV. I got tested on Friday and found out today that the test was negative! I thank god for a second chance. I know I'll...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Apr 20

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    I just saw one of my wife's cousins,

    normally she would wave and say hi, today she looked at me and walked away. As much as I don't want to admit it, it hurt. It makes me feel like, "so that's how that side of the family feels about this". I'm not mad, just hurt, I'll get over it tho...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Mar 8

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    Small Town, Nothing In Common.

    All the gay guys at my high school well you can tell they are gay. I dont understand it. How come im gay but i dont even act it? I im glad i dont but I wish there were just more people like me where I live. If I said Im gay they wouldnt think that Im just a regular guy they would...
    tomtombear tomtombear 18-21, M 29 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    I have a boyfriend of two months

    and he's great! He's perfect and an awesome guy but I feel that my struggle is holding me back. I start to wonder if I want to be with him and how. I have times where I'm confident to take on the world but then retreat. I'm wonder if I'm confused and if I'm bisexual because I...
    kidflash360 kidflash360 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 9

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    I'm 26 years old and just came out to my best

    friend well only friend about 4 months ago. Before that I did not really think much of it, I always thought to myself that I'll take it to the grave and no one will ever know. but ever since I told him (he was very accepting which surprised me) I thought I would feel good, like...
    uddon uddon 26-30, M 4 Responses May 3

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    So, after some thinking,

    I'm going to take the next 2 1/2 months and be completely non sexually or romantically involved. Not that I would be involved with anyone and not tell them my situation first. I think that time will help me see a lot of things more clearly and just find myself again. I really...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 Apr 25

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    I Am a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual But No One Can Know.

    For those who feel like they are uncool, no one knows them and they're just not one of the popular kids, I feel for you but then again I would rather put myself in your shoes than to live a life that I have right now where everyone surrounds me expect something of me or even look...
    confusion confusion 26-30, F 18 Responses Oct 3, 2007

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    I know i am gay but i am just

    so scared to come out. I am afraid people around me will treat me differently. I have been around straight guys and i know how they make fun and ridicule gay people. I don't want to be treated that way. But i feel so lonely being in the closet and i felt i am wasting my time...
    davidnathan davidnathan 31-35, M 4 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    Don't Waste Your Life

    Being sexually attracted to men has been around longer than the bible and has been part of mankind since the being. Life is short. Live life to the fullest. Don't wait until you're older and regret wasting your youth. It is easier said than done, I realize that. But there is...
    soburied soburied 51-55, M 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    Here's my story... Read it

    or not. I don't care. I'm gay but I'm also Christian and well that mixes as well as water mixes with oil. Especially when you have hard core Christian that you also love and grew up in the church. I know what's right from wrong and I try to suppress my urges and sometimes I...
    kp4w kp4w 18-21, M 9 Responses Aug 9, 2014

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    I hate that I'm gay. :(

    and I hate that I'm alone because I can't come out. If anyone needs anyone to talk to, I'm here.
    willnevertell07 willnevertell07 26-30, M 3 Responses May 8

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    Hi there. Actually I'm no longer struggling :-)

    I had a really really hard time but managed to get out of my depression with help of my best friend (and some professionals). I'm much stronger now, and want to use my experience to help others who are having a hard time at this age being gay. I'm a pretty good listener, got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 10, 2014

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    First of all, can someone else start posting

    here too, I'm starting to look whiney, lol. So it seems like my life is an exercise in Murphy's Law as of late... So the guy I slept with a few weeks ago (I used a condom) told me, for sure now, that he found out he was positive for HIV. So I've already been tested and it was...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 3 Responses Apr 24

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    I need advice on how to date someone

    while still remaining in the closet
    asterwesley asterwesley 16-17, M 3 Responses May 6

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    So I know that I have to "Find myself",

    but I don't even know how to start that process. What does that even mean? I know there's so much turmoil inside of me that things certainly aren't normal in there. Does anyone have any advice on "Finding Oneself"?
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Mar 16

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    I battle with the homosexual spirit.

    ... I want a family a wife and kids..... I love God and my savior Jesus Christ... I know the homosexual life style is wrong.... But I don't understand why I have to deal with this.... This is something that I have prayed and cried about and have asked God not to let me give in...
    Tired23 Tired23 22-25, M 6 Responses Jul 25, 2014

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    My wife is doing really well,

    and for the first time, I realized that she's going to be ok. I want that for her but it also makes me sad. She's probably going to find someone else and then I won't be the person that knows her best. It makes me sad but ultimately I really do want her to be happy.
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 4 Responses Mar 22

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    I am a Gay Man from an Asian Archipelago.

    I am a Honor Student, A Licensed Teacher and an Heir to our Family Business. My Family is not really open-minded about Homosexuality. They have so much expectations from me. How will I come out? I do not like to hurt or disappoint my family. I love them so much.
    dbearbmax dbearbmax 22-25, M 3 Responses May 9

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    The Tough Guy.

    I was that guy. The one trying to be tough, trying to be anything but gay. I knew 100 slandering gay jokes, called every "weak" person a *** or a c0ck sucker. It was so intentional that I must have been hiding from my self. I was hiding. These days I am still hiding but at least...
    adamrising adamrising 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 11, 2013

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    A lot of people call me gay.

    I haven't come out of the closet. I just blow it off. And my friends stick up for me and tell people I'm not gay. It kills me that my friends don't know I'm gay but I can't come out of the closet.
    Zaqhary Zaqhary 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I just can't cope just ppl are just

    so mean to mean to me now
    SpiritOfOrpheus SpiritOfOrpheus 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    I'm gay. I have my ups

    and downs with being gay. For example today I was quite happy being gay. I know that one day I'll be happy with my boyfriend or maybe husband, if it's allowed and have a joyful life. Other times I'm sad, because I'll have so much hate just for being me... And that is why I...
    hellotheremister hellotheremister 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    How U Know If Ur Really Gay?

    i'm 14, and don't really like girls in that way and been thinking i may be gay because i like hanging out with guys and wrestling and horsing around would like the mess around with another boy, but i am scared about being gay because i live in conservative area and parents are...
    DaytonW14 DaytonW14 13-15, M 10 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    I don't even know where to start

    and that's exactly how I feel. I've been saying for the past two months that I don't want a relationship, only to realize that I do, it's exactly what I want. I meet these guys and I want it to be just me and them, but no relationship. News flash, to me, I can call it...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Mom.

    I've tried to tell mom that I'M gay a couple of times before and (if you read my first story you know how that ended) it was so bad... So now I'M here... Three years after all that **** happened and we "Moved on"... My mom talks to me about girls... just to know if im dating...
    josean03 josean03 18-21, M 7 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    So I'm sleeping in my new apartment

    for the first time tonight. I miss my family, I see them almost everyday but it's not the same as living there. I miss the comfort of my wife. I miss being with my children and not having to leave to go "home". This isn't home, I want to go home. I brought my sons teddy...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 3 Responses Apr 19

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    I AM HIV+…AND I HAVE FOUND LOVE…ON EP!

    ! The last story I had shared was one in which I had posed a question…at what point in a relationship does sex become secondary? That was back in October. I had been in a relationship since the previous May with a kind hearted man who was good to me. I had originally been...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69 46-50, M 1 Response May 2, 2014

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    I have struggled with this

    for many years. Not the concept but the actual connotations attached to it. In todays modern age it is not really a huge problem, but I will still remain firmly in the closet
    wanker1953 wanker1953 61-65, M 1 Response May 6

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    Life Is Weird

    Ok so I'm 18 and have been out to only my bf who is a girl and she is pretty gay friendly but yet again she was shocked and couldn't believe that I was gay. I know we all got issues in life, but sometimes I seriously wonder why was I randomly chosen to live the life a gay person...
    GG1234 GG1234 18-21, M 8 Responses Jan 26, 2011

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    Hello guys, I am a bisexual male

    and I have a real passion to help struggling or confused or scared or lonely gay teenage boys, please reach out I want to help
    BiBoy3 BiBoy3 31-35, M 1 Response May 29

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    i alway knew there was something diffrent with

    me i had girlfriends but it never felt right im a 50years old when i was at school i was bullied it knock my confidence so i kept myself to myself its taken me alot of years to finley know im gay but i do struggle with even now i want to find a partner and be happy my mam know...
    12monty 12monty 51-55, M 2 Responses May 4

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    I do not even know how to start.

    I am so scared. I am 21and in college and have been feeling kind of depressed lately. I have really bad ocd related to being gay and it killing me!!! I know that I am attracted to guys and have been as long as I can remember. But I get these thoughts like maybe I am straight and...
    cooper4545 cooper4545 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I just had my first experience

    and it was with a man.
    Tom1429 Tom1429 31-35, M 6 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    iv just come out has being gay not

    so long ago i would like to meet someone alot of people dont understand what its like 2 be gay its not a choice u cant help the way u r made everone needs 2 have someone in there life weathers it 2 men or 2 women loves loves at the end of the day no one should judge anyone but...
    12monty 12monty 51-55, M 2 Responses May 31

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    I'm struggling with it

    because I don't want anyone to find out. (With the exception of those who already know.) I don't want them to judge me, but then again I could care less what people think. I also like to keep my personal life separate from my social one.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 10

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    People always ask me.

    . "Why did you choose to be gay?" I would always reply "I didn't choose to be gay, if I could, why would I choose all this taunting and teasing?"
    austintsnelson austintsnelson 16-17, M 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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    I'm Gay And I Hate It!

    I'm a 25 years old gay guy. My first fantasy about males that I could remember was when I was about 9 years old, and my first sexual experience with a boy when I was 15 years old. I don't really know WHY I'm gay! Why I like guys and don't like girls? I have every right to know...
    sadness707 sadness707 22-25, M 32 Responses Nov 13, 2011

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    deleted deleted 26-30 May 11

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