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I Am Struggling With The Urge Of Wanting To Hurt Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 314 People

    Frustrated With Life

    I'm so frustrated with everything right now, I just want to cut and forget about all my ******* problems. Life is starting to go downhill again. Just as I START to feel better, I start feeling like ****...again. I'm so tired of everything going wrong...I feel like the only way to...
    TragedyxInxWaiting TragedyxInxWaiting 18-21, F Dec 26, 2011

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    Lost With No Direction

    there is so much going on. since December (especially) i have had strong thoughts of suicide. the school counselor had asked my mother to take me in for a psych evaluation but she refused. CPS got involved, but it did nothing but get me bitched at more. i'm dealing with a lot...
    monsterwithinme monsterwithinme 16-17, F Jun 9, 2012

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    End.

    more than just "hurt", more than a cut, burn, hit. more than just "hurt". i want it to all go away. i want this life to end. so many people push me closer and closer to the edge and im already about to fall off. what they will never realize until something happens is that theyre...
    monsterwithinme monsterwithinme 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2011

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    Skipping School

    I skipped school today and I lied to my parents.... I wish I didn't but I don't know how I could have gone to school. I woke up with the urge (yet again) to cut myself. I used to believe that the consequences of cutting far out way the benefits but.... I'm not sure now. I woke...
    ArtistGrey ArtistGrey 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2013

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    My Hand Or Your Mouth

    i perfer a womens touch.well tonight ill work.but can u assist me
    larryblue larryblue 31-35 May 19, 2011

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    It Hurts

    On days like today, when I lie in bed for hours, not eating, unwashed and lethargic, seething with anger and disgust toward myself, my fingernails are my only weapon. I drag shallow red scratch marks across my breasts and stomach, as though performing an autopsy. Even my longest...
    Naomi506 Naomi506 22-25 4 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    I hate this part of meI've been bullied by girls

    and boys back in Elementary.. some called me witch because my hair was always a mess.. I hated it. A boy even punched me in the face when I was in the 5th grade and I just end up crying so much that I had a hard time breathing.. I hate crying.. I've always hurt myself whenever I...
    tomyqueen tomyqueen 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 1

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    My Desire Is Fighting With My Brain!

    I keep pulling hair. Half the time I'm aware that I'm doing it. The other half, it's just subconscious because it's habit. And this whole summer, I've been in this phase where I haven't wanted to stop pulling. I want to keep pulling. I love the follicles and the neat things I...
    MusicNinja2 MusicNinja2 22-25, F Aug 20, 2013

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    Lack Of Self-worth

    I am not a violent person, nor am I ever in need to physically hurt myself, but currently I am lacking the strength to bring myself out of this deep, black pit. I am having a hard time seeing the point in my life. Perhaps if I had a child or maybe someone I could always confine...
    MissMoxy MissMoxy 22-25, F 4 Responses May 19, 2011

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    Wish To Stop

    My boyfriend is mad at me when i give into it.. but i don't know what to tell him sometimes.. Because it's so hard not to and when i give into it he thinks im weak and i dont want him to be upset.. but sometimes it's voice is bigger then his.. and i can't help it.. I need help...
    HeartAndWings HeartAndWings 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2013

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    Psychgirl.

    So just as I get out of the stage of hurting myself, I go and do it again. This time I really did think I was stopping it and that I wouldn't resort to self harm, I guess that was pretty naive of me to think. Im so out of control and I just know what to do or who I am anymore...
    girlinterrupted95 girlinterrupted95 16-17, F Jul 15, 2011

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    I burn myself with almost boiling water,

    so the scars are not obvious. If I have a toothache I push on it and pick at it to make it hurt more. If I have a scratch from my cat, I pick at it to make it hurt. I do anything to make pains worse. I hate seeing wounds, so I never cut myself, but I still want to cause...
    DearYou DearYou 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 11

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    Wanting Revenge On Others

    i think that most people who hurt themselves do so because they know they will have consequences if they hurt their abuser(s). i wanted to punish my birth mother. But i knew she would be angry so i beat my own head instead. So did my sister.
    astounded1088 astounded1088 31-35, M Mar 10, 2013

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    I Feel Like I Deserve It

    i feel like i deserve it when i hit myself. i feel like after biting the inside of my mouth or stubbing my toe or something self-injurious like that Look, nothing is unintentional. People chew the inside of their mouth or hurt their feet for a reason even if subconscious. See...
    astounded1088 astounded1088 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2013

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    Why . . On Selfharming . .

    You know why people cut . . ? Because it is a distraction . For one moment , you don't feel all the pain , the loss , the hurt . All you feel is the razor going inside your skin . The blood dripping down your arm , leg , stomach . you don't think about how alone you are or how...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Apr 7, 2013

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    I Am....

    But I shouldnt. I feel like sometimes the only reason I dont is so I dont have to explain myself to others. I have been there. But I'd rather just be a recluse and live in solitude. I dont know how I am going to get through this next phase of my life. I have no idea...... I have...
    AlyceOverTheRainbow AlyceOverTheRainbow 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2011

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    Nevaeh

    the only reason im alive today is because of my little niece. one night at about 4AM i was too depressed to deal with life any more so i went to my hiding place i grabbed my razors and some pain pills and went to the bathroom. i hesitated tears streaming down my face i put the...
    dishon24 dishon24 18-21 1 Response Oct 14, 2011

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    New Meds

    i am on these new meds but they don't seem to be helping. i actually took my favorite knife and cut myself with it, but because the blade was dull it didn't even break the skin. so much for that.
    strangerinacrowd strangerinacrowd 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 29, 2012

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    Humiliated. Afraid Of Doing Really Stupid Right Now.

    I was discovered, and everybody already had noticed it. And still, I had to bear ******* indirect and malicious comments, as if I was a ******* hooker. They know it: I have a crush on that ******. Because I, unconsciously, stare back to him when I Ieave the office. Just this. And...
    fadedawaylife fadedawaylife 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 8, 2012

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    I'm Losing The Battle

    I've tried so many times to stop cutting but I can't. I want to, but I can't do it. I love the feel of a blade slicing through my skin. One of the few things that makes me happy. So yeah I cut. I wanna stop but I won't.
    AlleyFreakingKat AlleyFreakingKat 18-21, F Sep 26, 2012

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    Struggling For 8 Yrs

    I haven't hurt myself in a couple of months. Thats a huge accomplishment for me. But as the days go on it seems to get harder to fight the urges to cut. Unfortunately this has been my life for 8 yrs. If anyone is going through a similar experience and needs to talk please...
    LittleFerrett LittleFerrett 18-21, F 4 Responses May 14, 2011

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    I Want To

    I want to. I can't tell you, whoever the hell that is, how much. I want to break the skin, see the blood grow and spill over the edge. I need too. So badly. I can't tell you how much how much I god damn want too! But I can't hurt myself, not today. Not because I'm trying not too...
    TwistedHope TwistedHope 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 19, 2012

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    So I Did....

    Don’t freak, it was like 2 weeks ago... probably shortly after I wrote that last posting in here. If you know my stories you'd know I have a lot going on. Not that everybody doesn’t in theory... BUT well..... the things I have discovered about my family recently that urk me...
    AlyceOverTheRainbow AlyceOverTheRainbow 26-30, F 8 Responses Jul 5, 2011

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    Dying

    I think of dying everyday.......I have 3 reasons that keep me breathing today and that is my children......without them I dont know where I would be........now my husband is trying to take my babies away from me....omg if that happens I would just die.........how can he be so...
    Tyrdofjusgetnby Tyrdofjusgetnby 26-30, F May 11, 2013

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    Wanting To Bare My Marks

    I asked my mom a hypothetical question last night and she about flipped. I asked her what she would say if I started cutting. She said "If youre going to do that, you can go a mile up the road. I will not have a self-mutilator living under my house." The mile up the road is a...
    BelievingButterfly BelievingButterfly 22-25, F 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    With Words' - They Hurt Me So Bad.

    My health care team REFUSES to put up with it because they know for me, that the WORDS hurt MORE then actions' - I cannot always understand words' as well as actions' - so they confuse and HURT much deeper and more... So when I really want to hurt me, I call myself LOTS of ugly...
    stigmafree stigmafree 31-35 1 Response Jul 6, 2011

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    The Day Of March 17th And What Happened

    On March 17th this was the day when I had called first call for help. I had told them that I was thinking about taking pills which was an impulse decision which I didn't act on and I also told them I had wanted to hurt myself so I was unable to convince the person that I could...
    ajm1993 ajm1993 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4, 2013

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    Hanging On The Edge Of Gloom

    its been over 4 years since i last cut. i wanted to see myself bleed. i needed to feel that there was someone called 'me' inside. it was a tough time...well it still is. it doesn't have anything to do w/ my husband or my 2 kids, just me. i am clinically depressed. that's...
    strangerinacrowd strangerinacrowd 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 10, 2012

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    Yesterday...

    ....I looked up how to obtain a gun in my state of residence. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for an extremely long time, but I've never actually had it as an option. Sadly, getting all the permits and then the gun itself with the ammo is something I can't even afford at...
    fightthedayaway fightthedayaway 26-30, F May 4, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I am struggling with life. A lot. Whether it's with connecting with other people, struggling with my inner demons, or battling my procrastinating ways, I struggle all the time.
    Whoami30 Whoami30 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    i don't know what's happening to me:( I always please ppl even it hurts me :(( and pretend that I'm ok and put a fake smile on my face like there's nothing and i enjoy it :( I...
    questioner16 questioner16 13-15, F Apr 6

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    I'm constantly hurting emotionally... I used to self harm.. it helped deal with all the problems for a while.. for a while, I was in control of my problems.. no one could hurt me...
    ForeverSilenced1126 ForeverSilenced1126 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    My bf is overseas for work. He was planning on being home twice now, and both times things have changed and he is unsure of when he will be home now. The story... We were great...
    moco1143 moco1143 36-40, F Apr 3

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    I don't know where to start, and know ultimately I will have to make a hard choice, bc my mental and physical health is deteriorating daily. I am a married man w/3kids, straight as...
    Mannpiences Mannpiences 31-35, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Falling for my best friend actually fell, really hard. Was there for her when she told me she was abused n broken...told her I was gay(I'm a girl) n that I needed a friend ...we...
    Rhythmnblues9 Rhythmnblues9 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    The first time I knew I was gay was the age of 11. The second I realised it I ran to my room and started crying until my eyes hurt, I remember this day so clearly because it was...
    Takino Takino 16-17, M 6 Responses Apr 11

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    I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 1 month, but we have known eachother since last year. All my life I was taught to save sex for marriage, and I even got a purity...
    Ashley36Yoga Ashley36Yoga 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 15

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    I was overweight from the time I was 9 to the time I was 14. I hated the way I looked. A few months ago a started losing weight. I became obsessed. I would make myself throw up...
    goodvibesman goodvibesman 13-15, F Apr 3

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    An eating disorder is what I have, anorexia. know what your going threw, I am on my 2nd recovery. I started because my mom called me fat all the time and always made fun of me...
    SecretRocks SecretRocks 13-15, F Apr 15

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    I keep going back to the same girl. Each time she builds me up. Tells me everything i want to hear. Then she leaves me. She has done this so many times. Everyone i know tells me...
    BiO811HazarD BiO811HazarD 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It's been over half a year since I cut myself for the first time. I got home from school and had been stressed and as they say "when it rains, it's pouring". I got inside my...
    iSabishii iSabishii 18-21, F Mar 24

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    I hurt my hand. I jerked it back then it made pop sound and felt weird now it's like a pinching pain from the nuckle of my pinky to my wrist and I can't straighten it. No...
    spidygirl96 spidygirl96 18-21, F Apr 5

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    I lost my best friend and idk what to do! She was everything i needed. And now she's gone. Last night i cut myself because i know i probably wont get her back. I miss her so much...
    alexislucash alexislucash 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    All I want is a guy who lives near me and would love me for me and won't break my heart every day someone who is kind generous with a warm heart but tough too. I would promise to...
    Nicedude17 Nicedude17 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    I feel incredibly alone. I have family and friends that love me but I feel like I have nobody at the same time. I'm far away from home and I'm staying here for six months but I...
    camicat12 camicat12 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I'm scared of being gay. I more scared of not finding anyone who is attracted to me. I need someone who will give me an honest opinion on my looks. I don't have to be your type, I...
    Jbsc21 Jbsc21 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 4

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    I just had my first experience and it was with a man.
    Tom1429 Tom1429 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 6

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    The Person who brought me into This world is beautiful-she is also very shallow. She judges everyone and everything on the basis of looks and beauty. Pretty is pathetic, damn you...
    lolaMyheqrt lolaMyheqrt 18-21, F Apr 8

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    I am 14-15 and I am confused: I have always been attracted to boys! I dated my best friend (guy) for 9 years. When I was 4 I loved breasts. Because I have a big family I am...
    ParisMaisie ParisMaisie 13-15, F 5 Responses Apr 9

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    I am looking for help with repressed memories. They are from 17 years ago when I was 6 years old. I started to have flashbacks 11 years ago and they only happened when triggered so...
    arsnicandlace arsnicandlace 18-21, M Apr 12

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    I just told my dad I'm gay and he won't talk to me now. I'm 17 from Florida and want a boy to have a relationship with
    camjames9876 camjames9876 16-17, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    3 long years of ups and downs. when we first started dating I felt on top of the world. it was a crazy feeling being in love and I want to feel I again. a year ago he told me he no...
    js224224 js224224 16-17, F Mar 26

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    One thing that helps me release emotion is my music. I've just discovered a beautiful song by John legend called "all of me".I sing to me *smiles with tears in her eyes*For the...
    Trustmeimaunicorn Trustmeimaunicorn 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    My husband found old pics of me nud e in a storage box. They had been taken by an ex 10 years ago. He has been incredibly turned on since and gets me to tell him about what I got...
    alisonsurprise alisonsurprise 36-40, F 3 Responses