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I Am Suffering With Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 38 People

    Who Am I?

    I am lost in my own mind, have been searching for me my whole life. I look in the mirror and see a person I don't know. She is a very beautiful ugly person is all I know. She has never been touched by a loving hand as she chose a man with no emotions. I have enough for the both...
    mywaves mywaves 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 10, 2013

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    Caged. Heavy; light; pounding; relaxing;

    broken; glued. This is what goes on inside her head, because this is who she is; a girl diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She never knows what to expect; never knows when a trigger is going to come, but when it does, it comes in at full swing. Trigger.... Result...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I just recently found out I had this I knew

    something was wrong with me for quite awhile but I thought i was bipolar come to found out its my emotions i cant cotrol i go from sobbing in tears to pissed off there is no sad and mad it sucks i hate this i no longer have a family cause of this and almost lost my bf aswell...
    Alwaysandforever29 Alwaysandforever29 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    needing to vent im feeling

    so fricken angry i wont open up im tired of the pain i cant cry desperate for love i keep looking for a home who knowmaybe i nned attention i feel illi dont know ifi want to go on anymoreim a fat ugly disgusting pig nothing helps whats the point im tired tired i feel nothing i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Sep 4

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    i dont know what to say im worn out

    and all i feel is pain im so depressed that i dont want o socialixw i cant even rember what i did a minute ago im so sick and fricken tired of this sick illness i think my sympmtons are getting worse i cant stop eating i just dont wan to go on anymore not fair its just not fair...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jul 23

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    i feel like i dont wan to go on anymore

    everuday im sick and fricken tired of fighting this im not healthy my stupid pshe nurse changed my meds a while back and has left me crying everyday stupid jerk my life is a mess im so fat yet i get up everday is a battle i feel like i dont know what i beliee iwhat is wright or...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Aug 30

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    Recent BPD Diagnosis

    I am currently living at home with my parents, struggling through each day of my life. I work at a gynecology office full-time, and I am no longer enrolled in school. I still struggle with eating disorder on a daily basis, but my self-destructive behaviors have morphed into other...
    lindseyymc lindseyymc 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2013

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    I would like to create an open chat with people

    with the same or similar problem. Anonymity will b highly respected. Ill commence by saying that i suffer from BPD n it is difficult to deal with on daily basis.
    barceloner barceloner 36-40, M Apr 17

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    Ah!

    I get contradicted. Told off. Criticised. Belittled and shouted at. He tells me I can't dress my self properly and that he's embarrassed to be seen with me. He tells me I'm a 'dud' girlfriend, and that I'm not like other females. He says I act like a child and that I suck all the...
    Waitingfornow Waitingfornow 22-25, F Jan 7, 2013

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    I suffer with BPD and have been

    for a long time. Since I was 14 I started to feel different, I started to think different....I always wondered why I never had many friends, why I never had a girlfriend...why was I always isolated, sad and depressed, why did I want to always die and though about death...
    ClassicGamer22 ClassicGamer22 22-25, M May 11

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    I have borderline personality disorder.

    I was diagnosed in June 2013. I am totally blind. It's like an emotional roller coaster. I struggle with cutting... I have suicidal thoughts when the despair is to much to handle. This is a debilitating disorder.
    angel199221 angel199221 22-25, F 1 Response May 10

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    Related Experiences

    I've started speaking out about my abusive wife. The experience project and many people have inspired me to start a blog to help men who face the same things I have with an abusive...
    bwDVOWRD bwDVOWRD 26-30, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    If you don't think they cheat, they do!!! don't fool yourself, they couldn't give a dam about you.......although they will manipulate you every now and then to make you feel loved...
    theywillmakeyouthinkyournuts theywillmakeyouthinkyournuts 41-45, F 2 days ago

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    i dont know what to say i guess im numb and messed aup im so overweight i dont know how to live myself im am tired of life everyone is living life i feel like a freak i dont know...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Sep 2

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    WHAT IS - A BREAK DOWN OF IT: Personality disorder involve patterns of behavior, mood, social interaction and impulsiveness that causes distress to the one experiencing them...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 8

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    I had a panic attack Friday night and was suicidal, I went to the hospital and the psychiatrist told me he thinks it's likely I have borderline personality disorder. If this is...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    I'm on this site as a last resort and reaching out to others for help. Thank you for taking the time to read. I myself have PTSD and major depression disorder. I married a man that...
    Neverfirstforeverlast Neverfirstforeverlast 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 21

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    and it's taken over my entire life. When I read about others having the disorder, I shift from feeling comforted (when I am relating to their symptoms) to utter hopelessness...
    jasiilovely jasiilovely 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Just told a girl that said she thought I was cute to **** off and then got totally drunk so I'm gonna rant a bit now! Don't even think you understand what I'm going through! Don't...
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 5

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    I haven't written in a while. Not that there hasn't been anything to share. Simply that... I've been attempting to live my life without diarizing all of it publicly. I started...
    DanicaER DanicaER 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 20

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    I want to understand borderline more. No, I don't have it. I was misdiagnosed once, but I do have aspergers. Anyways, I have a friend with BPD and I wish to write a book about BPD...
    nikkianni nikkianni 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 4

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    how do you love your self as i loathe myself i need love but cant receive my kid parts super angry at my parents as when i was younger i needproper parents and it so affected big...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 11

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    Who the **** am I????? I'm so beyond confused right now. It seems like since I got diagnosed idk what was really me and what was the disorder. My anger is irrational, I fall in...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 11

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    hi just need to vent not feeling well i feel like im going off the deep end i dont like getting up in the morning anymore i want to avoid the night time when i get my cycle my...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 17

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    I am recently out of the "denial" that I have a disorder. I am consciously aware that the thought processes within my neurological wiring are malfunctioning. I have the behaviors...
    utteringartist87 utteringartist87 26-30 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It has been suggested that this is what I'm dealing with. I've been reading a lot into it and tbh I think it hits the nail on the head. I've been referred to a psychiatrist to...
    FallenForDeceit FallenForDeceit 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 4

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    I feel really, really bad... I keep having these dreams about how my parents treated me before they put me in a mental hospital, then about the year I spent in the mental hospital...
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 3 Responses Sep 5

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    Well just been diagnosed with bpd and adhd on top of that so just starting to get my head around it all so hope meet other and talk to them about it all
    philipm42 philipm42 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 9

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    I started regularly weekly therapy 5 years ago after a lifetime of severe trauma. I was immediately diagnosed with BPD. Actually, I was pretty thrilled to know there was a real...
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 12

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    i need to vent i called my brother today big fricken mistaken anyways i was telling him about my situation with a my landlord controlling me hes a hole iwasnt being mindful anywas...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 5 Responses Sep 13

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    I have recently been diagnosed with BPD. I'm releaved in the sense that thier is a label for my nightmarish life. I commence DBT in Spring 2015. Reaching out to others with this...
    MindCage MindCage 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 13

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    This is ruining my life. Impulses I can't control. Anger I cant maintain. Such deep brutal feelings. Scars from head to toe, self inflicted, done so I didn't have to feel my...
    skinfeeder skinfeeder 26-30 3 Responses Sep 20

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    I currently split with my partner of 4 yrs...he was cheating...i feel lost, sad, low..im drinking way to much, i just want the hurting to stop but it never does
    ginganut84 ginganut84 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 21

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    I hate this. It makes me overly sensitive and irritable. My emotions go so far up and so far down so quickly. I can't tell what I should feel so I just pretend like everything is...
    CleverName94 CleverName94 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 21

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    Today. Oh today. I just figured I'd stop with trying and work on my marriage. If he wants me the way I am...help me...Be my best friend again....he can reach out. I'm tired of...
    skinfeeder skinfeeder 26-30 2 Responses Sep 21

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    To all with BPD- have you found someone who truly loves you for you? And who is willing to take care of you when you are having an episode? I'm so scared I will never find someone...
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Hello Guys, I am just new here. I see myself as a normal college student who has different group of friends. But other people sees me as a person who has BPD. I dont what it is at...
    rui1074 rui1074 16-17, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    i need to vent i just feel like i cant go on i dont like men sorry yesterdsy imade myself step out in the world go to my friends store to visit i diidnt get home until ten then i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    just wanted to share something with you guys if you go on youtube click on bpd videos there is music and it has words i find it gives me relief try it if you cant relief
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 4 days ago

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    I have BPD and am in a serious live-in relationship. Things are rough, at best, mostly because of my own debilitating issues. Also, I feel so alone. How can you BE with someone...
    DanicaER DanicaER 36-40, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I see people so happy, with friends and a significant other. And then there's me. I'm so terrified I will spend my life alone. My loneliness is all thanks to my BPD. I just push...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    This is what it's like when a fight with my bf makes me panic... My thoughts are racing My heart hurts When you talk It makes it worse Can't you see I'm panicking Please stop...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Can feel myself growing distant again. It's where I'm most comfortable. Dealing with realizing my codependency issues and trying to work thru those. Surprised my boyfriend hasn't...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 3

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    have you ever stayed in a relationship because you're afraid of being alone? I don't know if I am.. I don't think I am staying in it for that reason.. I love someone so much but...
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5

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    Ok uhh, talked with my psychiatrist yesterday and we decided to try a three week trial period of no meds! So I'm one day in and I'm getting serious withdrawals... I'm cycling so...
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 3 Responses Sep 10

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    I wonder if EP will censor me this time... No one cares! So what do I care about hurting them too! I got a bunch of psych tests coming up next week and I just want to best that...
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    i just found this link http://bpd.about.com/od/livingwithbpd/a/Coping.htm , not adding much from what i've already knew but still a nice reading material.. still struggling to...
    yayforKay yayforKay 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    does anyone here to know how to cope i get up struggling everyday is a struggle just to get through the day ive gained so much weight that could be it i smoke to much its so black...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 5

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