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I Am Suffering With Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 44 People

    Okay so short and simple.

    I usually have no problem ending a relationship most of the time I caused chaos and then turn around on them so they feel like it's their fault or I leave them leave them before they leave me. This guy that I actually felt like I could love until I cheated on him multiple times...
    xoxoFireyIcexoxo xoxoFireyIcexoxo 26-30, F Jul 17, 2015

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    Caged. Heavy; light; pounding; relaxing;

    broken; glued. This is what goes on inside her head, because this is who she is; a girl diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She never knows what to expect; never knows when a trigger is going to come, but when it does, it comes in at full swing. Trigger.... Result...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    i feel like i dont wan to go on anymore

    everuday im sick and fricken tired of fighting this im not healthy my stupid pshe nurse changed my meds a while back and has left me crying everyday stupid jerk my life is a mess im so fat yet i get up everday is a battle i feel like i dont know what i beliee iwhat is wright or...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Aug 30, 2014

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    Who Am I?

    I am lost in my own mind, have been searching for me my whole life. I look in the mirror and see a person I don't know. She is a very beautiful ugly person is all I know. She has never been touched by a loving hand as she chose a man with no emotions. I have enough for the both...
    mywaves mywaves 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 10, 2013

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    i dont know what to say im worn out

    and all i feel is pain im so depressed that i dont want o socialixw i cant even rember what i did a minute ago im so sick and fricken tired of this sick illness i think my sympmtons are getting worse i cant stop eating i just dont wan to go on anymore not fair its just not fair...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jul 23, 2014

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    Ah!

    I get contradicted. Told off. Criticised. Belittled and shouted at. He tells me I can't dress my self properly and that he's embarrassed to be seen with me. He tells me I'm a 'dud' girlfriend, and that I'm not like other females. He says I act like a child and that I suck all the...
    Waitingfornow Waitingfornow 22-25, F Jan 7, 2013

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    I just recently found out I had this I knew

    something was wrong with me for quite awhile but I thought i was bipolar come to found out its my emotions i cant cotrol i go from sobbing in tears to pissed off there is no sad and mad it sucks i hate this i no longer have a family cause of this and almost lost my bf aswell...
    Alwaysandforever29 Alwaysandforever29 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I would like to create an open chat with people

    with the same or similar problem. Anonymity will b highly respected. Ill commence by saying that i suffer from BPD n it is difficult to deal with on daily basis.
    barceloner barceloner 36-40, M Apr 17, 2014

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    needing to vent im feeling

    so fricken angry i wont open up im tired of the pain i cant cry desperate for love i keep looking for a home who knowmaybe i nned attention i feel illi dont know ifi want to go on anymoreim a fat ugly disgusting pig nothing helps whats the point im tired tired i feel nothing i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Sep 4, 2014

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    I have borderline personality disorder.

    I was diagnosed in June 2013. I am totally blind. It's like an emotional roller coaster. I struggle with cutting... I have suicidal thoughts when the despair is to much to handle. This is a debilitating disorder.
    angel199221 angel199221 22-25, F 1 Response May 10, 2014

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    Recent BPD Diagnosis

    I am currently living at home with my parents, struggling through each day of my life. I work at a gynecology office full-time, and I am no longer enrolled in school. I still struggle with eating disorder on a daily basis, but my self-destructive behaviors have morphed into other...
    lindseyymc lindseyymc 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    omg sometimes I get so fukin tired of my choices in life. but no matter how hard I try I can never seem to not make the same choices. it's just the personality disorder at work...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 22 hrs ago

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    My boyfriend has been ignoring me all night. I'm scared that he is going to leave me for another woman, who is hid friend. I know that I am not normal, I have tried talking to him...
    biffiebabie biffiebabie 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I just don't feel ok. the others make me lose everyone I have
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have BPD. I am about to lose my partner because I am so clingy, then I push him away. I self harm and abuse pills. Is there a self help group out there? I just want to be normal...
    biffiebabie biffiebabie 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    There are days I hate my life. In other words hating my life is hating my parents, my father in particular. I was my family's scapegoat. Yep, I inherited that dreadful honorable...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    **** OCPD ---> [OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER] <<<<<<...
    ChaoticEnigma ChaoticEnigma 36-40, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    So I'm not allowed to be out draw, write, interact with people, make friends and do the things I like because all I'm allowed to do is 'serve' our host? ? I'm not a slave! Iris
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    i feel so sad and lonely and abandoned everyday is the same im afraid to wake up i dont want o do anything anymore today is the first day in 5 days ive done something this illness...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    But I'm pretty unique to other Borderlines. Anybody else feel alone, even with this?
    leflay leflay 22-25, T 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I find a lot of people on EP have misunderstandings about what borderline personality disorder is (like mixing up different disorders). So for anyone coming on this page for...
    AnonymousKCQ AnonymousKCQ 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It All Makes Sense Now. A chance encounter and some independent research resulted in my realization that for the last 5 years my behavior, experiences, and relationships would...
    Missluhvlee Missluhvlee 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I want to escape the home I live in I want to be free
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    If you have this disorder can you please message me? I have some questions and I am wondering if I , myself might be.! thanks
    LunaDove LunaDove 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    I'm taking control of my disorder. I'll ride through the emotions it brings me, feel them fully, and let them go as they pass rather than clinging for dear life and desperately...
    nicaea nicaea 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    A few days ago I posted how my head hurts and how I have to let ago of a relationship. Also to use it as an opportunity to reflect on my issues. So here goes. The thing that sucks...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    ... Blank ... I feel like that sums up me right now. I feel like I'm losing hope.
    Jlb13592 Jlb13592 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    Yes, I am who I am partly because of them, I hate that they cause drama for me sometimes, I hate that I can never get any peace, always hearing them complain in my head, especially...
    Silverfeather1993 Silverfeather1993 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    But I am NOT: -Crazy -Manipulative -A promiscous person
    Blueborder21 Blueborder21 18-21, F a week ago

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    One day I asked the DBT therapist to lead a mindfulness activity as a repair for showing up to the previous group late. My individual therapist encouraged me to give an explanation...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    I accepted that there's going to be up and downs. The downs doesn't make me a failure, however, it is an opportunity to explore what is inflicting me and sharpen my skills. I'm...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    I don't have BPD but my (ex) boyfriend may have it so coming here to learn. Hopefully that is okay.
    Lann2015 Lann2015 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 31

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    I can't live like this forever. I'm not in physical danger, but I'm feeling hopeless. Is there reason to hope?
    mymaidenname mymaidenname 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 31

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    I really dislike it when people presume to know you from one brief EP post
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 31

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    Ever since my early teenage years I have been struggling to make head or tail of my life, I have been bounced from counsellors to doctors, then psychotherapists and back more times...
    alphapuppy alphapuppy 18-21, T 1 Response Jan 31

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    My head hurts. For the past couple of months my symptoms were being triggered by what I suspect to be a narcissist. I was sucked in to his cycle of discard and being placed on...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 31

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    There's a part of me, which would like to meet a girl that has BPD just so she can meet a few of my darker needs just because I think the others don't get it. Any girls out there...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jan 31

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    Recently diagnosed, learning coping strategies... Feels like if I even go near the thoughts I'm supposed to challenge, it amplifies them and makes them so scary... I fight against...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 31

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    I'm seeing a psycologist I'm 31 the adult daughter of a bpd mother she refuses to get help.my relationship with her is so strained I can only show one emotion in front of her that...
    Confused848 Confused848 31-35, F Jan 31

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    My Girlfriend had BPD. Over the past few months, her disorder has become increasingly more difficult. I have been fed up for at least a few weeks. I think being "stuck" together...
    hopefullyRD hopefullyRD 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 30

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    I have a question for those of you who have also been given this diagnosis. I was diagnosed about 1.5 years ago, and it has certainly been the worst period of my life. I feel...
    DanicaER DanicaER 36-40, F 7 Responses Jan 29

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