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I Am Suffering With Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 39 People

    Who Am I?

    I am lost in my own mind, have been searching for me my whole life. I look in the mirror and see a person I don't know. She is a very beautiful ugly person is all I know. She has never been touched by a loving hand as she chose a man with no emotions. I have enough for the both...
    mywaves mywaves 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 10, 2013

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    I just recently found out I had this I knew

    something was wrong with me for quite awhile but I thought i was bipolar come to found out its my emotions i cant cotrol i go from sobbing in tears to pissed off there is no sad and mad it sucks i hate this i no longer have a family cause of this and almost lost my bf aswell...
    Alwaysandforever29 Alwaysandforever29 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    needing to vent im feeling

    so fricken angry i wont open up im tired of the pain i cant cry desperate for love i keep looking for a home who knowmaybe i nned attention i feel illi dont know ifi want to go on anymoreim a fat ugly disgusting pig nothing helps whats the point im tired tired i feel nothing i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Sep 4, 2014

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    i feel like i dont wan to go on anymore

    everuday im sick and fricken tired of fighting this im not healthy my stupid pshe nurse changed my meds a while back and has left me crying everyday stupid jerk my life is a mess im so fat yet i get up everday is a battle i feel like i dont know what i beliee iwhat is wright or...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Aug 30, 2014

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    Recent BPD Diagnosis

    I am currently living at home with my parents, struggling through each day of my life. I work at a gynecology office full-time, and I am no longer enrolled in school. I still struggle with eating disorder on a daily basis, but my self-destructive behaviors have morphed into other...
    lindseyymc lindseyymc 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2013

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    I would like to create an open chat with people

    with the same or similar problem. Anonymity will b highly respected. Ill commence by saying that i suffer from BPD n it is difficult to deal with on daily basis.
    barceloner barceloner 36-40, M Apr 17, 2014

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    Caged. Heavy; light; pounding; relaxing;

    broken; glued. This is what goes on inside her head, because this is who she is; a girl diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She never knows what to expect; never knows when a trigger is going to come, but when it does, it comes in at full swing. Trigger.... Result...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    i dont know what to say im worn out

    and all i feel is pain im so depressed that i dont want o socialixw i cant even rember what i did a minute ago im so sick and fricken tired of this sick illness i think my sympmtons are getting worse i cant stop eating i just dont wan to go on anymore not fair its just not fair...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jul 23, 2014

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    Ah!

    I get contradicted. Told off. Criticised. Belittled and shouted at. He tells me I can't dress my self properly and that he's embarrassed to be seen with me. He tells me I'm a 'dud' girlfriend, and that I'm not like other females. He says I act like a child and that I suck all the...
    Waitingfornow Waitingfornow 22-25, F Jan 7, 2013

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    I have borderline personality disorder.

    I was diagnosed in June 2013. I am totally blind. It's like an emotional roller coaster. I struggle with cutting... I have suicidal thoughts when the despair is to much to handle. This is a debilitating disorder.
    angel199221 angel199221 22-25, F 1 Response May 10, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    ITS strange that were THE one to blame :( but people dont know our suffering of THE people who Triggers us . We dont speak about our emotions , because we know they dont understand...
    Beaubuck Beaubuck 36-40, M 11 hrs ago

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    If people stopped complaining And give more attentions And care And love . Allot people with ( disorders 😣i hate that word) dont have to take meds , so they Will be accepteble...
    Beaubuck Beaubuck 36-40, M 12 hrs ago

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    I just had a horrific interview at McDonald's. On the way had thoughts that people from school days were laughing at me. Then felt so embarressed, such shame, like the interviewer...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I really really need someone with BPD to talk to. I'd go to my "friends" but I'll hear the same thing, and none of them know that I have BPD.
    danadanes danadanes 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    i think sometimes i was better not knowing i had all these -isms. i am tired of feeling broken and not worthy. i have to talk myself up every day sometimes hundreds of times a day...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    3 days without an episode now someone came on our property and he's out there with his gun threatening to shoot people. The day started off okay ... But we are in a downward spiral...
    bpdwifelife bpdwifelife 41-45, F 2 days ago

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    No matter how normally we behave; no matter how much love , care and respect, the moment they know we have BPD, they choose to protect themselves and run away from us. Medications...
    deceptiveoutofcloset deceptiveoutofcloset 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm planning on gathering more BPDs like myself. Message me if you're interested
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    If you can get ahold of BLUE DREAMS from Ca, that is a 3 hour window of much happiness and relief from any soreness or tense muscles. And coming down is like floating on a feather...
    shaymenae shaymenae 46-50, F 5 days ago

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    I'm blowing everyone off. "I can't stay out late again." "I need to clean my room." "I'm not hungry." "I have stuff to do." "I want to come, but I don't know if I can." Bullshit...
    missmalky missmalky 18-21, T 6 days ago

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    I don't like to say I have, or have had, an eating disorder because I feel it is somewhat unfair to those who's lives have been dangerously altered or taken by it. However, I'm...
    TeaspoonEm17 TeaspoonEm17 16-17, F a week ago

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    So I'm due on Friday to get a diagnosis for what I'm sure will be borderline personally disorder. When I was younger I had a psychiatric assessment done and borderline was...
    Livingwithbpd Livingwithbpd 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Just found out that I have Histronic P.O. not the bipolar I've been taking meds for years for. So down. What a mess I've become and what a fricken fool I've made over the years of...
    shaymenae shaymenae 46-50, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Looking in the mirror seeing myself and not feeling good enough, not feeling "hot" enough. Not seeing the movie star body on my body, instead seeing some freak who doesn't...
    ginganinja33 ginganinja33 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    It's as if I'm drowning in a sea of pain. I don't understand anything when it comes to this disorder. I don't understand why it has to make us feel the way we do. I know we all...
    ginganinja33 ginganinja33 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    You're not sick or crazy. The world is just simplistic and flawed.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 27

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    I'm sitting here on my own sipping wine straight out the bottle, with the television playing in the background. I can feel a rage bubbling inside of me, I feel angry, hurt and...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    My experience of narcissistic personality is bitter sweet. It's sweet because I love the high from it. I'm proud of it. From being able to manipulate a person to adore me and do...
    porsia75 porsia75 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 26

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    What an awful existence. A combination of childhood traumas and inherited brain chemistry, making one sad sack of a human being. Always jumping to the worst conclusion, always a...
    BigBaddaBoom BigBaddaBoom 26-30, F Jun 26

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    I am so empty feel lonely I love my husband like crazy then we fight and my love turns to anger and hate them I get depressed love him again it's a horrible cycle. Sometimes I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 25

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    I'm obsessed with a man in a different country who doesn't want me so I'm intent on ruining his life.
    janiegirlUK janiegirlUK 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 25

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    My Borderline personality disorder is ruining my life.The disorder make me very afraid of abandonment and have mood swings.I have a lot of anger and can't stand when people...
    Iloveowl Iloveowl 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    How do you deal with the frustration of BPD. How do you deal with all the millions of crazy negative thoughts?
    stephane28 stephane28 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    I think I have known that I had borderline personality disorder since I was in my teens. My, then, therapist diagnosed me with disthymia. After thirteen years of cognitive...
    sugarbabysub sugarbabysub 31-35, F Jun 23

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    My boyfriend and my mother both have borderline personality disorder. My mother is in denial, my boyfriend is not. It cannot be cured. But it is something that can be lived with...
    FlourescentBlack FlourescentBlack 31-35, F Jun 23

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    I hate how everyone talks about how terrible people with BPD are and leave out how terrible the people without BPD are.
    stephane28 stephane28 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    The days are getting harder. And now that I have moved back into my mother's house... I find that I cannot control my anger and temper. I have never been an angry person so this...
    anderablack anderablack 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    I feel empty when I am bored. I don't have a strong sense of identity or purpose. I hate this feeling.
    CrazyDaisyeee CrazyDaisyeee 18-21, F Jun 22

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    Me and my mum clash! She thinks I'm attention seeking, needy and self absorbed. I resent my mum, she brought me into this world against my will, and she shows me no love. I...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Lying in bed, I feel as though the life has been sucked out of me. No energy. My rooms smells of cigarettes and there are empty wine bottles on my floor. I lie in bed full...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Okay, so I did it. I did the "right" thing. I did not get drunk, I did not cut. I took my meds like a nice compliant teenager... And now, I'm tired and cranky because that's what...
    missmalky missmalky 18-21, T 4 Responses Jun 21

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    dont really feeling like writng as i dont have any emotions today i just want to off myself im sicj and tried of this i woke up early i wanted to scream the pain is so much maybe...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jun 21

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