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I Am Suffering With Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 39 People

    Who Am I?

    I am lost in my own mind, have been searching for me my whole life. I look in the mirror and see a person I don't know. She is a very beautiful ugly person is all I know. She has never been touched by a loving hand as she chose a man with no emotions. I have enough for the both...
    mywaves mywaves 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 10, 2013

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    Caged. Heavy; light; pounding; relaxing;

    broken; glued. This is what goes on inside her head, because this is who she is; a girl diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She never knows what to expect; never knows when a trigger is going to come, but when it does, it comes in at full swing. Trigger.... Result...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    Recent BPD Diagnosis

    I am currently living at home with my parents, struggling through each day of my life. I work at a gynecology office full-time, and I am no longer enrolled in school. I still struggle with eating disorder on a daily basis, but my self-destructive behaviors have morphed into other...
    lindseyymc lindseyymc 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2013

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    i feel like i dont wan to go on anymore

    everuday im sick and fricken tired of fighting this im not healthy my stupid pshe nurse changed my meds a while back and has left me crying everyday stupid jerk my life is a mess im so fat yet i get up everday is a battle i feel like i dont know what i beliee iwhat is wright or...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Aug 30

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    i dont know what to say im worn out

    and all i feel is pain im so depressed that i dont want o socialixw i cant even rember what i did a minute ago im so sick and fricken tired of this sick illness i think my sympmtons are getting worse i cant stop eating i just dont wan to go on anymore not fair its just not fair...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jul 23

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    Ah!

    I get contradicted. Told off. Criticised. Belittled and shouted at. He tells me I can't dress my self properly and that he's embarrassed to be seen with me. He tells me I'm a 'dud' girlfriend, and that I'm not like other females. He says I act like a child and that I suck all the...
    Waitingfornow Waitingfornow 22-25, F Jan 7, 2013

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    I suffer with BPD and have been

    for a long time. Since I was 14 I started to feel different, I started to think different....I always wondered why I never had many friends, why I never had a girlfriend...why was I always isolated, sad and depressed, why did I want to always die and though about death...
    ClassicGamer22 ClassicGamer22 22-25, M May 11

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    I would like to create an open chat with people

    with the same or similar problem. Anonymity will b highly respected. Ill commence by saying that i suffer from BPD n it is difficult to deal with on daily basis.
    barceloner barceloner 36-40, M Apr 17

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    I have borderline personality disorder.

    I was diagnosed in June 2013. I am totally blind. It's like an emotional roller coaster. I struggle with cutting... I have suicidal thoughts when the despair is to much to handle. This is a debilitating disorder.
    angel199221 angel199221 22-25, F 1 Response May 10

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    I just recently found out I had this I knew

    something was wrong with me for quite awhile but I thought i was bipolar come to found out its my emotions i cant cotrol i go from sobbing in tears to pissed off there is no sad and mad it sucks i hate this i no longer have a family cause of this and almost lost my bf aswell...
    Alwaysandforever29 Alwaysandforever29 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    needing to vent im feeling

    so fricken angry i wont open up im tired of the pain i cant cry desperate for love i keep looking for a home who knowmaybe i nned attention i feel illi dont know ifi want to go on anymoreim a fat ugly disgusting pig nothing helps whats the point im tired tired i feel nothing i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Sep 4

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    Related Experiences

    I have several friends with BPD. My one friend I'm getting pretty close to she has distance herself somewhat from me however I talk to her in a language she understands. I do my...
    cutie7710 cutie7710 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 18

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    Anyone have a mom with BPD? It's the most difficult relationship. Especially around the holidays
    LaurenAR LaurenAR 22-25, F 9 hrs ago

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    But I am getting out. Just had a phone call from solicitor, he has written some nasty unpleasant stuff on the divorce petition goodness knows what the judge will make of it. He...
    00flyaway 00flyaway 41-45, F 8 Responses Dec 18

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    Does anyone know of any borderlines being able to love? Or getting better and stopping the lies n cheating?
    superempath superempath 31-35, M Dec 2

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    My english isnt so good im from italy.i been with my wife for 10 years 8 dating two years married. i feel if i can never do any thing right or im walking on egg shell's. her mood...
    wedtoaborderline wedtoaborderline 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 10

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    My english isnt so good im from italy.i been with my wife for 10 years 8 dating two years married. i feel if i can never do any thing right or im walking on egg shell's. her mood...
    wedtoaborderline wedtoaborderline 31-35, M Dec 10

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    So I'm writing again and Im on my iPhone so I hope my words aren't changed. I have gone through a lot even recently and I guess I'm trying to understand more. Of course the...
    cutie7710 cutie7710 36-40, F Dec 18

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    I think I may have borderline personality disorder. It's a little hard to deal with. I know something is wrong with me and I don't want to live my life thinking that and not doing...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 26

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    Nov. 20, 2014 5:30pm I don't know what is wrong with me. I felt so happy when I got home. I felt so much love for mj and I was just on cloud nine. But I guess my flight reached...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 12

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    I think I might have borderline personality disorder. I am bulimic and am also diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I am taking medication to help...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 26

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    I happened to find a book in the bookstore about a year ago..."Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies." I just opened it to read it some...and it was ME. Finally...something...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 2

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    Yo. I think I have BPD. All the things people talk about experiencing and the symptoms of borderline are things I experience. Eating disorder, self harm, self-hatred, etc. Any...
    Emilyyyyy Emilyyyyy 18-21 Dec 6

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    Today is thanksgiving and I feel so worthless. None of my friends text me to say happy thanksgiving. I got no phone calls today at all. Like I'm just a loser. My mind is all over...
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27

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    I had sex with my ex again and right after, he was texting HER, setting up plans for later. I feel so stupid and used. I just sat there and acted extremely cold like always until I...
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T 1 Response Dec 1

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    Today I have seen so many of my personalities come out. I hate it. I wish I could go back to being who I was before all my mental problems started. I love that personality.
    sadly203 sadly203 18-21 Dec 7

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    Don't know why I get so upset. My boyfriend is away for a lads night out and I'm left at his house. And I dunno why but I got so upset begging him not to leave me. What is wrong...
    bananananaxo bananananaxo 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    It's my first holiday with my family that I'm not on any medication, and I'm already so anxious about it.
    jwest230 jwest230 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 27

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    once I was at this birthday party thing with my family and we shared a table. plus I have an anxiety of tight places. I get unhappy and I can't control what's going on, I just...
    VictoriaHall VictoriaHall 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 29

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    Super happy! Went to the park with fam. At first I wanted to be alone but then I sucked it up and my dad got me to have fun. I was on cloud 9! Held a baby alligator. We went eat...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 29

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    I had an argument with my dad today. Made me want to kill myself. It it weren't for my brother I would've probably gone through with it. But he got in my car and managed to calm me...
    nuttyduck nuttyduck 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 30

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    I grew up believing that I would be something amazing. I have a spotty history of divorced, absent parents; child abuse from a stepfather; social ineptness; and depression. When...
    hellaborderline hellaborderline 22-25, M Dec 2

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    I hate being so paranoid. Cant even drive at night without panicking or being paranoid.
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 2

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    Every time I meet someone in person I get really close to them and like them a lot and then the next second I want to distant myself from them and feel like their two faced for no...
    T055 T055 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 4

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    I hate myself so much right now.. I snapped on my fiancee and told her that I hate her and told her that she is stupid several times. I literally do not know why she is with me...
    jwest230 jwest230 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    Why do I hurt myself when I feel so bad inside or if I'm so mad at people. What is wrong with my brain!
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 7

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    Why do I hurt body when I hurt inside. What is wrong with me? Why is it that I can feel extreme happiness one minute and want to stab my heart put the next?
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 7

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    The women with BPD can relate to this: I hate when I am pmsing or on my cycle. It seems like every depressing feeling or emotion that I could ever have comes out 100 times stronger...
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 7

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    Recently I was honest with a friend about my BPD and he is the first person I've told that took it extremely well. I just hate admitting it. I've known my whole life that my...
    nvragain1024 nvragain1024 31-35, F Dec 8

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    I just feel super crazy right now! I can't make it go away in my head. I feel like something is missing and empty but nothing to fill the emptiness. I don't even know what would...
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    Today was my bffs first bday since passing away in Sept. My bday is in 16 days. As kids we often celebrated together. Last night a family friend passed away from old age. It was...
    nvragain1024 nvragain1024 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    So many people have gone through so much ****; physical abuse, teasing, being forced to take care of people who don’t appreciate it. I know so many people who have had it worse...
    cme4u cme4u 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    I had finally found somebody to love me. She accepted me for who i was, for all my problems and my flaws. i felt so normal when i was talking to her. She made me feel alive. I...
    TheWickedJester TheWickedJester 26-30, M 3 Responses Dec 16

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    I had a sucky day today. :/ I woke up and was fine. But I got a little wary a few hours later and stayed that way the rest of the day. I posted a pic on my face book of myself and...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 16

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    I self diagnosed about a year ago and regardless of my efforts it took that long to get a real diagnosis, which I just received. It was such a huge relief in some ways and more...
    Pchipsnbrips Pchipsnbrips 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    That moment when you're at the beach in a hotel with friends and you just feel like crying non stop and feel very socially anxious. That is what it means to have BPD with...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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