I Am Suffering With Bpd

bpd erratic moods, need for structure and love, and fear of abandonment. suicidal ideation and more often then not, self harm...a mental Illness ive been diagnosed with. 650 People

    I feel like I don't know

    who I am anymore, in a crowded room I feel alone. People talk to me but, no one sees me. I get mad for what seems like no reason, I cry because I can't sleep. Nightmares follow me while i'm awake, I truly feel like I'm losing my grip on reality.
    TattedGirl27 TattedGirl27
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 5, 2015
    biancaxxb biancaxxb
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 15, 2015

    I was diagnosed with BPD 4 years ago

    when I was 18. I forget I have it until I stop to realize what I just did or what I have done that impacted my situation. For those of you who suffer from the same disorder, I am sure the question of "who am I" comes to mind often. We think we start to know who we are until...
    ashleemd ashleemd
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 30, 2014

    Coping With Bpd

    I am a 23 year old female. After therapy on and off from the age of 5, never knowing what was wrong with me and my life gradually becoming more of a trainwreck during adolesence, at 18 I was finally diagnosed with BPD. I'll never forget that day, it was so hard to take in - that...
    lucifer1988 lucifer1988
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Jul 29, 2012

    I know people look down on tumblr

    as a cesspool of hyper reactive "social justice warriors", feminists with an axe to grind and rabid fangirls but if you stay away from that other stuff you will manage to just what you need, and this site is just what I was looking for when I need to refer to it. It may help...
    Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum
    36-40, F
    Aug 27, 2015

    A cool thing I saw online on how to take care

    of yourself: Pretend you're a demon who's possessed a body! Pretend it's someone else's body you have to feed, shower, keep healthy, blah blah blah. Cute!
    garbageday garbageday
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 25, 2015

    Something radically different.

    ..I have an interesting idea for all of the independent thinkers, adventurers, and misfits out there. I started a new blog called "outsider olympics". I have always felt like an outsider, and I don't see it as a bad thing, although I do often wish I could feel a greater sense...
    lesliel33 lesliel33
    22-25, F
    Mar 3, 2016

    I am literally crying daily at the moment over

    the most stupid things its giving myself a headache constantly ??
    VictoriaN105 VictoriaN105
    22-25, F
    May 25, 2015

    I was diagnosed with bpd finally.

    I went through being called a *****, weirdo, shy, crazy, and I was misunderstood. I know now I was starved for attention not sex, quiet and different because no social skills developed, and my temper and mood shifting was from intense feelings. It was so relieving to find out...
    Ryahlips Ryahlips
    22-25, F
    Nov 3, 2015

    I have BPD and sometimes I just want to sit

    down with a friend and discuss how it feels but I just know that I can't do that anymore. And that makes me feel so lonely. And with new friends, you don't know how much to tell them in case they don't understand. Someone said to me "Amber you can't use the mental health card...
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 19, 2014

    Fun bpd thing:: Being happy & being

    so hungry like starving until ur mood drops n you just do not physically feel hunger anymore & u know anything u eat is gonna taste like ash cause ur half disassociated anyway goD
    selkieteeth selkieteeth
    22-25, T
    Mar 25, 2016

    One minute I wanna converse

    and meet new people and then the next I'm like **** everyone I wanna be aloneĀ” it's just me
    ErraticPredictions ErraticPredictions
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 6, 2015
    stephane28 stephane28
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jun 24, 2015

    My Story

    I dont really know where to start really but here go's, since i was young i always knew something wasnt right and the way i acted and think wasnt "normal" if u know what i mean, i was told i had bpd and bi-p 4yrs ago and after looking them up i notied i had nearly all the...
    bleedingrose84 bleedingrose84
    22-25, F
    6 Responses May 2, 2010

    im turning maniac !  suffeing from severe

    bpd !  i really dont want to take this
    thejabal thejabal
    26-30, M
    Jan 30, 2016

    My mom has bpd. I didn't realize

    until just this year (I'm 17). Recently she cut me me off emotionally and kicked me out of her house due to a new boyfriend. Yes, I made her life difficult with my own bpd tendencies, and I can't help but feel it's my fault and question myself and my self esteem is horrible and...
    disorderedxdiva disorderedxdiva
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Jan 21, 2014

    I was riding the bus the other day with my

    cousin when we witnessed angry old man accusing a young of stealing his phone charger. The young man had no idea why the old man was lashing out, and was obvious that he didn't have the old mans charger. The young man was very bothered and was egging on the old man. I suggested...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    Jul 9, 2014

    Want To Come For A Ride On My BPD Journey?

    After being diagnosed with just about every letter of the alphabet and being a lab rat for what felt like every med on the market. I was recently diagnosed with BPD. That diagnosis was like a double edge sword to me.After digesting the diagnosis and doing a little research on it...
    arentweallcrazy arentweallcrazy
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 1, 2013

    I feel so lost and broken.

    I can't do this anymore. Things have been bad for months n gradually getting worse. Its to the point where I just feel so worthless and **** about myself that I feel like I deserve and need to be treated badly. All I crave is pain, punishment and for someone to make me suffer...
    LJglasgow LJglasgow
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Aug 31, 2015

    Something positive.I looked up at the sky this

    evening and such an intense feeling just ran through me. Totally indescribable. It was just so ******* beautiful. Normal people don't feel that. I may be a mess but that is a beautiful feeling. And I wouldn't want to give that up. Yes we feel emotions 10x more than the average...
    unknownxxxx unknownxxxx
    22-25, F
    Oct 19, 2015

    I'd love to chat to other people with bpd to

    share experiences and thoughts with
    fakeisforbidden fakeisforbidden
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 14, 2015

    ever consuming, beyond my control,

    nobody really knows what it is like, unless they suffer with it, too
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 20, 2015

    I go through so many relationships

    so quickly. It's a constant cycle of idealization and devaluation. I consistently end up feeling as if I'm 'too good' for them, I dislike them more and more the closer they attempt to get to me. I don't like hurting their feelings (or do I?), I don't even know what real...
    samjvl47 samjvl47
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 4, 2016

    Starting Recovery....

    i have been diagnosed bpd(borderline personality disorder) i was diagnosed it after being admitted to hospital after my friends and family found out i was planning to commit suicide. i am currentl on two types of medication for my symptoms and they are a typical antipsychotics...
    privatetears privatetears
    18-21, F
    16 Responses Sep 21, 2008

    I feel so explosive and irrational most days,

    like everyones attacking me for something and not giving in to that is the most difficult ****** thing. i dont wanna yell and cry at people, im always so embarrassed afterword bc i never meant it. I feel like a bratty toddler ugh
    selkieteeth selkieteeth
    22-25, T
    2 Responses Feb 17, 2016

    Hi, I would like to know

    if there is a good helping book for bpd. In my country and in my language I cannot find anything interesting about it. I would like to understand better my problem and to find suggestions and help. I have a therapist and I take medicines. Thanks.
    bpd86it bpd86it
    26-30, F
    Mar 3, 2016

    WHAT AM I?

    What am I? Well I have many faces I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm happy at times, I'm destructive, I'm implusive, I'm scared, At times fearless,I'm lonely but I want to be alone, I was a drinker now I'm a smoker, I'm a dreamer,I'm a lover, I'm a fighter, I'm antisocial, I'm the...
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jul 28, 2013

    wanting to die bc the bf wants to go out

    tonight instead of see me, like he does every other day of the week lmfao thanks bpd
    selkieteeth selkieteeth
    22-25, T
    1 Response Mar 4, 2016
    binkscesaille binkscesaille
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 30, 2015

    Will it ever get better?

    I thought I was getting better but I keep getting triggered by things and now all I can think about is death. I keep making plans in my head
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jun 29, 2014

    I'm seeing a psycologist I'm 31 the adult

    daughter of a bpd mother she refuses to get help.my relationship with her is so strained I can only show one emotion in front of her that's happiness otherwise she gets stressed goes into a rage. I haven't told her about the sexual assault I suffered because she will make it...
    Confused848 Confused848
    31-35, F
    Jan 31, 2016

    Many of us look in the mirror

    and cannot stand what we see, don't recognize the image looking back, or at times love what we see...how can you hate the image so much and smile to the world. We've become experts at smiling and hiding our true selves, the person we see and hate so much. We have no friends...
    girlie10 girlie10
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jun 6, 2014

    Just struggling to get a grasp on my thoughts.

    Woke up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I feel as though everyone around me is running for the hills and I'm trying to cling onto them like a child drowning. Usually I would fight abandonment fiercely, since learning about reality acceptance I feel lost. I just feel...
    AmeliasDay AmeliasDay
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Apr 1, 2014

    To those suffering with suicidal thoughts!

    !! *NOTE * (This is written from a spiritual point of view NOT religious though) Author had a near death experience to give an idea of what I mean. This is, in my opinion, a great article for those who lost someone to suicide and for those who are struggling with the thoughts...
    Dayzdreamer Dayzdreamer
    31-35, F
    Aug 31, 2015

    is this a group for bipolar

    or borderline personality disorder? they could both be abbreviated ti bpd. just wondering if this group is in fact for mine (despite the crossover of depressive episodes and very quick moodswings etc.)
    theeviloverlord theeviloverlord
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Aug 26, 2015

    Yesterday was a very hard emotional day I

    hadn't had much sleep , but used my morning wisely .. Was looking forward to spending time with loved ones when they decided they didn't want to come .. I left it at that knowing it was there choice and didn't want them feeling pressured into seeing me ... I have been finding...
    fallencry fallencry
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 12, 2015

    i have struggled with it longer

    than i knew. i just recently got a name for it. sometimes with people that are close to me i will just fight or get mad for no reason and say things that seriously hurts my relationships. i deal with fearing that i'm going to be abandoned or left out. i use to cut my wrist to...
    enemyinthemirror enemyinthemirror
    22-25, F
    Apr 1, 2014

    I will try to summarize this experience

    as much as I can but bare with me. I have gradually lost my self identity over the past 6 years. I will have to start from when I was 12 years old and I was happy, funny, Loud, and made friends very easily, then suddenly everything changed. Life changed for me when I was...
    Bigtee2nd Bigtee2nd
    18-21, M
    Jul 19, 2015

    I wouldn't say it's suffering,

    but it is the worst thing to have. Not trying to trivialize having depression, because I got it too, but I rather have severe but treatable depression than BPD. Sometimes when I tell people I'm on disability, it starts a full on interrogation (that irritates the **** outta me...
    Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 19, 2015

    My diagnosis saved my life!

    ! After years of feeling like an alien in a foreign world, I finally was correctly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in 2013. I have been a member on here since 2009 and it's crazy to see my posts back then because it is so obvious to me now. I suffered for so long...
    4four2twenty0 4four2twenty0
    22-25, F
    Mar 2, 2016

    The Struggle Within Is Worn...

    when the **** does it end?
    PurpleQueenofNowhere PurpleQueenofNowhere
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Sep 14, 2011

    To those who dislike

    or don't understand what it is like to have borderline personality disorder, I wish we could see things through each other's eyes for five minutes. The depth into someone with borderline personality is incredible and horrible to feel things so intensely, not just for yourself...
    Lovelifeg Lovelifeg
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 12, 2015

    "**** you, I'm not deal with a dramatic *****.

    " I'll never be in a relationship again. Thanks BPD
    shannon0768 shannon0768
    22-25, F
    Nov 28, 2015
    br0kenpromises br0kenpromises
    18-21, F
    Oct 23, 2015

    I know suicide is bad

    and all but every time I feel down I just want to pick up something sharp and cut or pull the trigger my parents don't know anything about this and even if they did they probably wouldn't care and I feel that way right now. Any advice?
    brookewby brookewby
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Mar 6, 2016

    I Lost My Boyfriend Because Of Borderline Personality Disorder.

    I'm gonna' cut to the chase. I had an amazing boyfriend..he was perfect to me and we had what seemed like a perfect relationship...until i got borderline personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder. Things quickly went downhill and now we're not together. He was the...
    Tanyb94 Tanyb94
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Feb 7, 2013

    I was recently diagnosed with BPD

    and feel overwhelmed with both joy and sadness. I feel joy for finally having a name for what's affecting me, but also of course sad because of the complications it causes me in my relationships with others and myself. I've not been able to have a stable romantic relationship...
    MysteriousKitty MysteriousKitty
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 16, 2014

    I don't have an official diagnosis yet

    and i know you shouldn't self diagnose, but I fit every single ******* criteria for Bpd. I've always known I have severe mental issues but never known what. Im getting a mental analysis thingy soon which will be good. I sometimes just wish I didn't have to deal with mental...
    NaomilyShipper NaomilyShipper
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Jul 14, 2015

    I believe I have BPD,

    been reading about it for a year now, and people I know tell me i really might have it. But a lot of other people(eg me mum) tell me "oh EVERYONE has something wrong with them!" "Why do you WANT to be sick?" and just refuse to acknowledge it. how do I know for sure that I have...
    garbageday garbageday
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 25, 2015

    I'm so erratic One minute I want to eat

    so bad and then when I get food I'm like I don't want to eat anymore.
    ErraticPredictions ErraticPredictions
    22-25, M
    Sep 6, 2015

    Nothing may stay the same

    but I guess one good thing that should remain still is the heart that always remembers to: stay strong and stay kind; stay lovely and stay nice; stay good and stay humble; stay true and stay honest. Just stay being the best of your heart could. But when that heart feels like...
    deleted deleted
    Oct 1, 2015


    For all of my fellow bpd friends. I want you to be very cautious about who you choose to be in a relationship with. In many cases, bpd is caused by a child's opinions or feelings not being acknowledged or validated etc...This means that us bpd's are likely to fall into a...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 28, 2012

    I want your love, yet I can't receive it.

    You tell me I'm beautiful, but don't believe it. I become someone else when I am with you. I need to be alone so I can find myself again. I'll smile because I want to appear happy, but I'm really crying because there's nothing inside of me. I love you like a mother loves her...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    I completely surrendered my life to Jesus Christ

    and He has straightened my paths. He soothes the pain and fills the void within. I was a believer who had yet to put all of my trust in Him. However, since then I have grown so much because I let Him take the wheel and not just sit passenger. I had to completely die to self. BPD...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 4, 2015
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