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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,090 People

    I wonder if things could have been different

    maybe I could of saved you but it doesn't matter now does it. Ashes inside, So badly I just want to end it. Each day seems like a test to see how far you can stretch someone when they no longer see the point to dreaming anymore. I know you guys care, Ive just tried to distance...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 25

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19, 2015

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    Why is it that I keep trying,

    but I can't ever succeed? I'm not even living. I'm just part of this stupid machine that is life. I'm not living for myself. I don't even know if that's what I want. What am I even doing here?
    JamesCarter20 JamesCarter20 18-21, T 4 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    **** life life sucks,

    probably gonna jump off humber bridge soon
    IFeelSoLonely101 IFeelSoLonely101 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 9

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    i dream and fantasize about myself dying all

    day everyday. with the amount of pain i feel throughout the day...the thought of it being permanently over is oddly the only thing that soothes me. i am dangling over the edge by a thread that i am becoming too heavy for, it's beginning to break. i just need the pain to go away...
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 1 Response May 8, 2015

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    I think about this every day.

    However I have not found a way to do it without hurting innocent people yet. Sometimes I even think about doing it anyway, even if I hurt other people. I am hurting deeply inside & have nowhere to go with the pain because I have no-one that I completely trust in my life. Sharing...
    tiger3cub8 tiger3cub8 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    cimbe cimbe 26-30, M 6 Responses Oct 11, 2015

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    I haven't cut in weeks now.

    But it hurts so much that I want to. My mother found me out. And I'm taking Lexipro. Nothings working. Nothing feels worth it anymore. I just feel... empty. It feels like my life is crumbling, and I'm so scared. Some days are better than others, and I get that... but it's just...
    alittlepisslover alittlepisslover 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    elijarock elijarock 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    I hate contemplating living

    or dying, it's such a lonely helpless feeling. Everytime I think I'm stronger I find out I'm not. I'm so weak and helpless most of the time. I never get over things that hurt me. I always think about them and cry, I Jusy want to overdose on pills even though I know it's the...
    Kornisone Kornisone 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2015

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    I'm hearing voices inside my head.

    . I can't stop them, they are overpowering my thoughts so much that trying to do my assignments is just impossible. I want to die so badly, I am so tempted to do something right now. I can't take these kinds of feelings anymore. Going from a glimpse of hope to absolute despair in...
    EverlyLeex EverlyLeex 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 26

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    ...

    It's not that I want to die... I just don't see a point in living anymore. I'm sure that such a statement sounds at least somewhat unappreciative, seeing as how I am a single white female living in the suburbs of theĀ US. From an outside perspective, my situation probably seems...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    Yesterday was my b-day,

    I travel for an hour on bus to visit my mom, she cried for hours on my shoulder saying that she feels alone and want to die... ... I can't tell her how I feel, how she makes me feel.
    Rustedarmor Rustedarmor 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 4

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    Have been for the past 5-6 years.

    It's so hard waking up every morning wishing you hadn't. The depression makes it even worse. Then later came anxiety. There have been times where I thought there was an earthquake going on, but I was just shaking so bad. I truly hate my life. I want to believe it will get better...
    gummball gummball 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 25, 2015

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2015

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    Suicidal thoughts have never scared me.

    You know, the thought of a world no one else can see. No pain, pressure or goals to meet.. A calm world of eternal sleep.
    Piercedprincess17 Piercedprincess17 18-21, F Jun 4, 2015

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    Wouldn't it be that easy to just erase myself

    with sleeping pills and carbon monoxide?
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 8, 2015

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    I almost killed myself .

    . I'm so depressed I should've did it but I can't . I even went to church and prayed about it . I'm so hurt. How can the one who say they love u hurt u so bad . Say such mean things. And the sad part about it all is I have no one to talk to . Jesus is the only one I guess I got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 6, 2015

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    It's a weird. Looking at the words "I am

    Suicidal" and clicking "Me Too". It's something I never thought I'd admit. These feelings have been buried DEEP down for a very long time. I remember wanting to kill myself as a child. Like 8 or 9 years old. Then crying when I thought of how sad my mom would be. Well the other...
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    19 and I can't say with any confidence

    that I'll make it to 20, I'm no where in life, I'm going no where in life, and I have no one who would understand, I'm alone and I can't keep going.
    TheBeatlesForever TheBeatlesForever 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 22, 2015

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    The whole reason I'm here is the subject of

    this group- I'm suicidal, sad, alone, nonsocial, insecure, and extremely depressed. Some days I think I don't want to die but most every day I do. I think about it every day. I've tried theray, medications (several) none helped, tried being vegan, exercising, meditation but my...
    sadnessconsumes sadnessconsumes 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 16

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    Since the age of 19 I have had suicidal

    thoughts, I started self harming when I was 20 and at 21 I took an over dose. After getting out of hospital I really focused on getting better and being a more positive person. I managed to go 6 years before things started to go wrong again. I now have a wife and 4 boys but...
    Bristolxd Bristolxd 26-30, M Sep 16, 2015

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    I am feeling really suicidal

    and having really bad thoughts. I don't know how to tell my parents. I feel like they might not take it seriously. Should I call 911?
    kittylova kittylova 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 6

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    life is a prison...a life sentence.

    ...i just want to be free. ..
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 15, 2015

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    Trigger warning: gun suicide.

    Today I started spiraling downward and I took one step closer to being able to end my life. I remembered seeing a rifle behind the door to my dad's bedroom. I looked there again and it wasn't there. an airsoft assault rifle was instead. I looked in his closet and found the .22...
    LolaLecter LolaLecter 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    When drugs and alcohol lose the ability to save

    you from your mind... Do you have yourself sectioned before you do something stupid? #bpd
    unknownxxxx unknownxxxx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 28

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    I'm feeling numb, although I can feel my heart

    sinking. The pain is weighing it down and it hurts. I don't know how much longer I can put a smile on my face and say I'm fine. No one will even give me the chance to listen, to fully listen. Even if they're close, I guess it's my fault for not wanting to burden them.
    JamesCarter20 JamesCarter20 18-21, T 2 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain 16-17, F 6 Responses May 30, 2012

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    I've been planning my suicide

    for 1 month now. I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 21 but I forced them out of my head after 2 failed attempts. Now I find myself once again deciding my method, writing my suicide note, & planning my funeral. Whenever I decide to do it, I hope it's a success this time.
    AGirlonherJourney AGirlonherJourney 22-25, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2015

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    I want to die so badly.

    I've struggled for almost 20 years being suicidal off and on and I am so tired. I feel the crushing weight of the fatigue get worse and worse with each passing year and I constantly wonder why I allow this pathetic existence of mine to continue. I look at others and wonder how...
    ash000056 ash000056 22-25 2 Responses a week ago

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    Have any of you guys tried to kill yourself?

    Do you know the best way to kill yourself?
    tabby8f tabby8f 18-21 5 Responses a week ago

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    I'm so suicidal now nd drunk I wnt to end

    everything I hate life so much
    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2015

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    People said that suicide is not the way.

    .. Cuz I'm going to hurt a lot of people, friends, family.... People said that is the selfish way out... But do I have to go on, with a life that I hate just to make other people happy? That's selfish... My life as become easier, since I accepted the fact that I can runaway...
    Rustedarmor Rustedarmor 22-25, M Jan 17

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    I know pretty well pain,

    I know what is to be suicidal. That's why I always try to help everyone with depression and suicidal thoughts, because most of the time, all they need is someone who cares about them and will never leave them; someone who will sit down and listen to their words, someone who will...
    EternalYahiko EternalYahiko 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 2, 2015

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 22, 2015

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    For anyone who would like some inspiration to

    keep going, go to YouTube and type in "reasons not to kill myself" and/or reasons not to commit suicide. I did this today and I feel a lot better. People really do care,even if you don't know them. Take care and stay safe. If in the US and you need immediate help, call 1 800...
    opinionatedchickfromuranus opinionatedchickfromuranus 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Suicide isn't poetic.

    Suicide is not a cry for attention. Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is an individual reaching the point where they feel so trapped, so alone, so hurt, that they take their own life. Humans have a built in survival instinct. We instinctively gasp for breath, we instinctively...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 2 Responses Aug 25, 2015

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    I don't really want to talk.

    I just want to die. A safety contract I signed says I have to notify someone. They didn't see this loophole. I will not make it through today. Someone please tell my family, if they know them, that this is their fault. I hate them and hope my mom ******* dies when yet another...
    hellpuddle hellpuddle 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2015

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    I keep wanting to kill myself,

    keep doing nothing with my life. But I'm too afraid. I totally want to do it, more than I ever have. But I'm scared. But the thing is, I'm also scared to live.
    Justventingg Justventingg 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    My life is miserable ,

    nothing makes me happy, i'm kind of hate everything, my family, my friends,everyone even myself, i feet nervous for everything , people voices make me angry . i tried to suicide once before but i failed. i cry every night and can't sleep easily. i feel strange to everyone. i...
    rmai rmai 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2015

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    Last night I took a handful of pills

    and I passed out or blacked out. I took them because I honestly don't want to live but I knew there wasn't enough there to kill me but sleep is the closest thing to death I could get to at the moment and sleep is like a vacation away from my miserable life. I never thought I'd...
    befuddledninja befuddledninja 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 29, 2015

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    well to be honest its gotten a lot better

    thanks to someone very precious to me and whenever i can't take it its like she just knows and shes so kind and caring and protecting i love her so much ..... thank you :,)
    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T 2 Responses May 30, 2015

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    Christmas is my favorite part of the year,

    it's the only time where family is all united. But to think that I wasn't supposed to be here anymore makes me cry a bit... how my family would celebrate Christmas without me? Would they even celebrate it? These are questions that I had been asking myself tonight, with those...
    EternalYahiko EternalYahiko 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 23, 2015

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    I honestly hate when people tell me I have my

    whole life ahead of me. My life has been crappy since I could remember. Why should I continue? So people can anger me even more? Or so I can prolong my suffering until I reach old age? We're all going to die one day, so I don't see the difference. I also hate being told it gets...
    MichaelMyers1 MichaelMyers1 18-21, M 3 Responses May 14, 2015

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