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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 741 People

    I have entered suicidal depression

    for the second time. Last time the circumstances changed - a partner returned. This time that seems unlikely. I am constantly thinking of all the things I could have done better, all the mistakes I made and the beautiful life I could be living now. I am surrounded by friends...
    bljlondon bljlondon 41-45, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T 9 Responses Feb 12

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    For Too Long.

    On March 31, 2004, I went to sleep feeling perfectly fine. On April 1, I woke up wanting to die. I was thirteen. Four years later, the feeling hasn't gone away. I'm afraid that one of these days, I'll forget what I have to live for. One can only take such intense sadness for...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    I live on the 8thfloor of my building

    Sometimes the urge to jump out of my big windows is so strong Tonight the urge to take all my narcotics is so overwhelming I'm actually envious of those who actually go through it I need help.
    ByFe ByFe 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    Coming Alive After 25 Years Of Darkness

    I suffered from severe depression for more than 25 years. I first threatened suicide when I was, maybe, 7 or 8. I made my first, really serious suicide attempt at 13. For many years, the only thing I really wanted in the world was to be dead. People who don't suffer from...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    Is anyone else like this,

    when you want to cut but don't you feel like the urge will go but I doesn't it's still their getting stronger. And do you ever think about dying all the time when your out and suddenly you see a bus and your mind telling you jump in front of it.... All these suicidal thoughts...
    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 27

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    Dilemma

    I have wanted to go through with my plan for the past fews days, but then I have thought about how my family and the guy who I love (We're only friends at the moment even though we love each other. It's complicated.) would react. My suicide would crush them. What can I do with...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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    Usually I become suicidal

    when I give my power away. Mostly when the person I put my trust in pushes me away. It's a horrible feeling. One I'm glad I don't have today. I need to be independent, stop trusting and believing in people (in especially straight male friends) and live with others around but not...
    YeahthatsMylife YeahthatsMylife 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Havent eaten all day,

    im so ugly and fat and all i can think about is dying:)
    arielmadelen arielmadelen 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 22

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    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 25

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    Losing Myself

    I have been dead for years already. I've killed myself hundreds of times in my head. I'm not courageous enough to actually do it; I wish I really was. My family thinks I'm the worst daughter/sister. They say what about the one's you've left behind? They will hurt and this will...
    link1309 link1309 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    I have only thought about suicide once.

    And it has never left my mind since. I know I am not meant to live. I know I will, but I don't know how soon. Do you think I am being selfish?
    elizabethandy elizabethandy 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It doesn't happen everyday,

    but when my depression hits, thoughts of suicide hit hard, and I find myself contemplating on the quickest way to get the job done :'( I hate feeling this way....
    XgaiaX XgaiaX 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I just don't want to live anymore.

    It's all too much. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, loneliness, stress... It's just all too much!
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    Please someone help me.

    I've been fighting this since I was 13 and it's just gotten so much worse. The pain has taken over everything I can't do anything.
    dmbpal dmbpal 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 16

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    I don't belong to a world full of life I don't

    belong in a world where people breathe I am not worthy of breathing If i'm not worthy of being here the place where people live Black and silence A place which is full with nothingness That's where i belong in a world full of nothing Only one way to get there That peaceful...
    Banabear Banabear 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2014

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    I'm Done

    Two days ago my world crashed now I'm trying to find out if Cymbalta, Celexa, Topamax, and Ativan will help ease my pain
    Jennbrat Jennbrat 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2013

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    Like hard core but today I just feel like I

    don't give a flying **** if it all ended right now. I probably would do it if I could muster up the strength to get out of bed. Also I don't want to make people sad because there are a lot of people who love me and need me to be around.
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 6

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    why is the recovery so hard ive been dealing

    with this burden for 8 years and yet i feel ive only gotten worse. .....im scared....somebody help......i don't trust myself
    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T 5 Responses Feb 5

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    I have been suicidal sence I was 15.

    I was 19 when I attempted suicide for the first time.
    themagijudal themagijudal 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    It's a weird situation,

    I have good days, I have bad days but not a day goes by without wanting to take my own life. I think of the ways to do it and none seem quick enough, pills.... too slow. hanging? too slow, wrists? nope too slow. its only a gun that would do the trick outright and where the hell...
    crabspanner crabspanner 36-40, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Today was an odd day

    for me. Two weeks ago I joined this program, called the Career Building Skills program (CBS). I joined because I wanted to kill time and do something without actually committing myself to something. (The program is only 2 months long) All weel this week, we're visiting...
    AndrewRD AndrewRD 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 27

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    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain 16-17, F 6 Responses May 30, 2012

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    I have been feeling very hopeless,

    and miserable. I usually have a deep seeded pain, but nothing I haven't been able to manage. I am a very strong person, and have been through things that people couldn't even imagine. I have never struggled to keep it together as much as I have been recently. I just got married...
    Thinkofme Thinkofme 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 5, 2014

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    I'm 35...2 divorces, infertile,

    hormone imbalance which means I grow unsightly hair, lost a job I loved, lost my apt, I'm an addict of any kind especially any drugs, my parents live in 2 different states, I never see my brothers, I have a dead end job where I put up with sexual harrassment, I have an obsolete...
    SuicideDreams SuicideDreams 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    ...

    It's not that I want to die... I just don't see a point in living anymore. I'm sure that such a statement sounds at least somewhat unappreciative, seeing as how I am a single white female living in the suburbs of the US. From an outside perspective, my situation probably seems...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    If someone needs to vent,

    then I am all ears. I will try to help everyone I can.
    kikidoll9 kikidoll9 22-25, F Feb 21

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    THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE

    AMAZING AND CAN PULL THROUGH. YOU ARE STRONG. KEEP PUSHING ON
    brownhairedgirl13 brownhairedgirl13 18-21, F Feb 23

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    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Nope. I don't want to keep on playing this game.

    There's no pause, no reset button, so why not just quit? I suck at it anyway. I've got a fair amount of money to blow. Should I have fun with it, or give it all to a suicide prevention thingy? I think that'd be ironic, wouldn't it? Maybe I should take it all on a...
    AndrewRD AndrewRD 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    And I don't know how to stop the thoughts.

    They're taking over my life. I'm beginning to think that people may opt for suicide as a logical means of escaping these horrible thoughts and dreams. I sure want to...
    niceusername niceusername 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2014

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    Connie24 Connie24 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    Am kinda drunk, a friend in my life is gone

    It's all to much to take after what we've been through. Now I want to cut just let this all go simply by placing a blade to my skin and moving it across my skin over and over again
    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 1

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    for people that just dont understand put

    yourself in the other persons shoe... when ecerything goes wrong and you feel like thats your only way out........You practice tying your knots, sitting in a chair in your basement. Today is Tuesday, and you don't really have anything planned tomorrow. You've already eaten...
    JustBeYourSelff JustBeYourSelff 22-25, M 6 Responses Feb 17

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    I really just wanna die.

    I hate my miserable existence. There's nothing that can fix this..
    Magikmushroom Magikmushroom 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    I really don't know what I'm doing anymore.

    I thought I had everything all planned out. It was stupid. I've felt good for a few weeks, but now I'm back to my normal. And I don't think I really want to fight it this time, either. I feel so bad for so long, fight it so hard, and then it's almost as if nothing happened...
    AndrewRD AndrewRD 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 24

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    Please Answer!!!

    What stops you from killing yourself?What has helped you hang onto life?Thanks x
    JustKeepFighting JustKeepFighting 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 29, 2012

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    I struggle with depression daily.

    I haven't told anyone about my feelings. I haven't shared about feelings with my support group or even written it down in my journal, because I was afraid to face it. I didn't want anyone else to know. My husband & I are struggling financially. We're nearly 50k in debt, not to...
    AdoreWyoming AdoreWyoming 31-35, F Aug 8, 2014

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    Free body parts! Free lungs,

    heart, liver, kidneys, skin, whatever you want! I have a recurring dream. I walk into the hospital with this sign and kill myself in reception. Why can't I just do this. Why do I have to be here if I don't want to and others do. People who need and love life should benefit from...
    brokenandlost brokenandlost 41-45, F 6 Responses Feb 21

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    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 20

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    Why I'm Not Dead

    The only reason i'm not  dead yet.there are still people who love me.i could die , but that would just take all my pain and put in on my loved ones.i can't do that.they already have there own pain!how can i knowingly give them mine  just so i can be free?so i'm alive.and will...
    jillianlarson2011 jillianlarson2011 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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