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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,102 People

    I hate contemplating living

    or dying, it's such a lonely helpless feeling. Everytime I think I'm stronger I find out I'm not. I'm so weak and helpless most of the time. I never get over things that hurt me. I always think about them and cry, I Jusy want to overdose on pills even though I know it's the...
    Kornisone Kornisone
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2015

    why the **** do i bother?

    why do i keep on bothering. keep on trying. keep on surviving. im not living,just simply existing. i dont know why i keep on doing this. theres nothing for me in this world full of strangers its all someone elses idea. it really is. i dont see myself pretending to fit in,or be...
    VoloNoscere VoloNoscere
    26-30, M
    1 Response Mar 22, 2016

    I can't get into my car with out wanting to

    hurt myself. I was in a car accident on April 23rd and the other driver was at fault. I was yeilding to traffic to make a left turn. The other driver was making a right turn onto the street I was on. She had slowed down, turned her blinker on and was halfway around the corner...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 13, 2015

    I'm so suicidal now nd drunk I wnt to end

    everything I hate life so much
    emmadarko emmadarko
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Oct 9, 2015

    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain
    18-21, F
    5 Responses May 30, 2012

    I'm suicidal more than I'm not.

    I think I'm losing my bf and all I can think about is offing myself. He may think I'm holding him back and maybe I am but I don't mean to. I feel like all I Do is unintentionally hurt people... If I kill myself I cant hurt anyone anymore. I'll never have the life I want anyway...
    Bigcat1697 Bigcat1697
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Mar 13, 2016

    I find that i'm waking up more often

    now wondering why i'm still breathing. Often times i'll hold my breath and pray that i'll go a minute longer to end my life. There are many reasons why i want to die. I had one bad incident recently JUST ONE. But it lasted for so long that my will to live is completely depleted...
    xRockGlossPrincessx xRockGlossPrincessx
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Jan 18, 2016

    i can feel the end just around the corner

    and i just. cant wait to finally be able to let go. i dont know whether it'll be days or weeks or months from now but the only thing that matters is that soon this will all be over and i will be freed from this pain.
    hollowmirage hollowmirage
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 11, 2016

    It feels like I'm drowning.

    Trapped in the darkness. Alone. I need help but nobody will take me seriously. I'm sorry for any pain I may cause you, it's just getting harder to hold on...
    LonelyWolf1 LonelyWolf1
    18-21, M
    5 Responses Mar 3, 2016

    I honestly hate when people tell me I have my

    whole life ahead of me. My life has been crappy since I could remember. Why should I continue? So people can anger me even more? Or so I can prolong my suffering until I reach old age? We're all going to die one day, so I don't see the difference. I also hate being told it gets...
    MichaelMyers1 MichaelMyers1
    22-25, M
    3 Responses May 14, 2015

    Since the age of 19 I have had suicidal

    thoughts, I started self harming when I was 20 and at 21 I took an over dose. After getting out of hospital I really focused on getting better and being a more positive person. I managed to go 6 years before things started to go wrong again. I now have a wife and 4 boys but...
    Bristolxd Bristolxd
    31-35, M
    Sep 16, 2015

    i dream and fantasize about myself dying all

    day everyday. with the amount of pain i feel throughout the day...the thought of it being permanently over is oddly the only thing that soothes me. i am dangling over the edge by a thread that i am becoming too heavy for, it's beginning to break. i just need the pain to go away...
    bloodRedd bloodRedd
    26-30, F
    1 Response May 8, 2015


    It's not that I want to die... I just don't see a point in living anymore. I'm sure that such a statement sounds at least somewhat unappreciative, seeing as how I am a single white female living in the suburbs of the US. From an outside perspective, my situation probably seems...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Dec 30, 2011

    if u want to kill yourself,

    kill what you don't like. I had an old self that I killed. you can kill yourself too,but that doesn't mean you have to stop living! Keep the faith y'all.
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Feb 29, 2016

    I think im done. I turn 20 in three days

    and I think I may just let everything go because everyone and everything will be better without me. And there's people up in heaven that I need to see again because they actually understood me.
    Eyeofbeholder Eyeofbeholder
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 6, 2016

    the one person I trust doesn't

    even believe that I'm suicidal.
    xotwod31 xotwod31
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 8, 2015

    I'm just a disappointment.

    I am the coward that runs in fear. I keep these things to myself. It's not what people want to hear. Just sitting here with a bottle of pills. Not enough money to pay the bills. Should I ingest or confess the rest? Everything is crashing down and none of my friends can be found...
    holygrailofvampires holygrailofvampires
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Apr 17, 2016

    My life is miserable ,

    nothing makes me happy, i'm kind of hate everything, my family, my friends,everyone even myself, i feet nervous for everything , people voices make me angry . i tried to suicide once before but i failed. i cry every night and can't sleep easily. i feel strange to everyone. i...
    rmai rmai
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 28, 2015

    well to be honest its gotten a lot better

    thanks to someone very precious to me and whenever i can't take it its like she just knows and shes so kind and caring and protecting i love her so much ..... thank you :,)
    bloodynightmares97 bloodynightmares97
    22-25, T
    2 Responses May 30, 2015

    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 24, 2015

    I read a quote online.

    It said, I don't judge people who come to me saying they are going to kill themselves and are asking for a reason not to. I don't think they are silly or selfish or weak. They are going through the depths of hell, they are trapped in the thickest of jungles. And they are coming...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    Aug 21, 2015

    I am empty. There is nothing.

    I am nothing. We are nothing. None of this is making any sense to me and I don't know what I'm feeling, but I need it to stop. It's not that I want to die necessarily, I just don't think life is for me. Everything I have and all the possibilities that are "at my fingertips" mean...
    pancakesarebetterthanwaffles pancakesarebetterthanwaffles
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Mar 22, 2016

    Now I know the title of this message is very

    deceiving, it, however was done for a purpose. I know those of you that are having horrible thoughts such as suicide will read this. I also know that the reason those who are suicidal come to sites such as this, come to read other people's horrible experiences in a hope to find...
    gwood38 gwood38
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2016

    It would be too easy.

    And it's far too tempting.
    thecraziestpanda thecraziestpanda
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Apr 11, 2016

    Today is my birthday

    and the today I will die.
    Waynestepper Waynestepper
    5 Responses Apr 13, 2016

    Have been for the past 5-6 years.

    It's so hard waking up every morning wishing you hadn't. The depression makes it even worse. Then later came anxiety. There have been times where I thought there was an earthquake going on, but I was just shaking so bad. I truly hate my life. I want to believe it will get better...
    gummball gummball
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 25, 2015

    I had a full plan back in 2013.

    I was ready and had a note written as well. My family found the note and I never did kill myself. I'm glad I didn't but sometimes I wish I did.
    Emilyrulz777 Emilyrulz777
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 16, 2016

    I want to do it so bad,

    but there's a little part of me that says it'll get better. But I'm tired of waiting, I just want to die.
    xotwod31 xotwod31
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 16, 2016

    The worst thing about being suicidal is the

    constant struggle to keep myself from offing myself. I've seen first hand what suicide can do to those left here on Earth and it's been a back and forth struggle from "I don't care, I need to do it" and a constant guilt trip based off of the emotions of those around me. A week...
    SeriousYak SeriousYak
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Mar 20, 2016

    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Jan 22, 2015

    After existing for this long,

    I've come to the realization that I am a meaningless person, someone who shouldnt have experienced life. I'd prefer to be blissfully ignorant than too aware, but I cannot retract how I feel about myself now. All I can do is use temporary fixes, marijuana, cigarettes, drinking...
    Aiuri Aiuri
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Feb 20, 2016
    cimbe cimbe
    31-35, M
    6 Responses Oct 11, 2015

    I often come back to conclusion

    that things would be better and easier for everyone if I was not around.
    Eyeofbeholder Eyeofbeholder
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 22, 2016

    Even when I'm happy,

    even when I dont want to die. I feel like I need to be dead, I feel like I AM dead. I fell invisible. All day long, no matter how bad or good my day is, there's always the thoughts in the back of my head scanning all the different ways I can make myself dead.
    GennMichelle GennMichelle
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 4, 2016

    19 and I can't say with any confidence

    that I'll make it to 20, I'm no where in life, I'm going no where in life, and I have no one who would understand, I'm alone and I can't keep going.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 22, 2015

    once again I want to die very badly

    but this time I actually have antidepressants and a therapist..
    SSxREAPERx1998 SSxREAPERx1998
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Apr 10, 2016

    Suicide isn't poetic.

    Suicide is not a cry for attention. Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is an individual reaching the point where they feel so trapped, so alone, so hurt, that they take their own life. Humans have a built in survival instinct. We instinctively gasp for breath, we instinctively...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    2 Responses Aug 25, 2015

    Just when you think everything is going well

    life takes a turn. I've never felt this bad before I just want someone to hold me while I cry everything im feeling. I have noone, not a parent nor a friend. i ******* HATE myself, my life I need help right now im seriously losing it and going crazy.
    dezy2be dezy2be
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Mar 7, 2016

    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

    Never quit anything, don't give up you have

    hope just try to think positive you can do these things if you put your mind to it. Think of positive things, that make you happy in life. And focus your mind on getting better. I have many problems, but I have learned how to deal with them. I am free to share my knowledge with...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Apr 15, 2016

    I must not give up. Nope,

    not before I've experienced any fun in life. It's too early, I'm still 27 for ***** sake.
    BlueJinx BlueJinx
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Nov 19, 2015

    I deliberately missed classes today.

    Got yelled at by my father for doing so. I thought I would attend the later ones. I got ready, reached at the gate of my institute and took a U turn. I simply could not do it. I made my way back home and I was scared. How will I explain my parents? What excuse? I thought of not...
    ExperiencesAndNotMistakes ExperiencesAndNotMistakes
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Jan 4, 2016

    How can you decide if this life is worth living.

    What's the point if you hate every aspect of your life. I
    Jennnnla Jennnnla
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Apr 16, 2016

    I never thought that I would ever post in a

    group like this, but here I am. For the first time in my life, I am actually open to committing suicide. It never used to be like this, though. I’ve always loved life – and have been very afraid of death, so suicide was unthinkable to me – until last year (2015...
    CompNerd89 CompNerd89
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 20, 2016

    What tablets would you recommend

    for a quick exit? Painless preferably
    yorkshirelad86 yorkshirelad86
    26-30, M
    1 Response Mar 9, 2016

    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    I genuinely feel that the only option

    for me is suicide! It's the only thing that will stop the pain! I've always said this would be my cause of death. I've wanted to die for very many years. I have no interest in 2017! I need to be at peace & stop being a tolerated burden. I no longer want to exist! Before the end...
    Lilith2013 Lilith2013
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Mar 8, 2016

    I just need to talk to someone

    before its to late
    Soccerplayer19 Soccerplayer19
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Apr 10, 2016
    oftenunconscious oftenunconscious
    22-25, T
    1 Response Mar 3, 2016

    I almost killed myself .

    . I'm so depressed I should've did it but I can't . I even went to church and prayed about it . I'm so hurt. How can the one who say they love u hurt u so bad . Say such mean things. And the sad part about it all is I have no one to talk to . Jesus is the only one I guess I got...
    deleted deleted
    Oct 6, 2015

    Never let a past experience dictate

    who you are today. For you have the power to change, to become a better person. It's up to you what you choose. What road you travel.I hope you choose the right One.try to think positive and change your actions for the good. To better yourself, and know you are a cool person...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Apr 15, 2016

    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 19, 2015

    I dont see whats so bad about suicide.

    Its not a permanent solution to a temporary problem because what if that problem wasn't temporary. Wouldn't suicide be a good thing?
    DeadlyArsenic DeadlyArsenic
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 8, 2016

    I feel like absolute crap.

    I feel alone. Nothing is making me feel better. I want to hit anyone who tries to make me feel better. No one knows what to say when I get like this. Someone please help me before I do something stupid.
    SnowLeopardKitty SnowLeopardKitty
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 12, 2016
    BlueJinx BlueJinx
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Feb 17, 2016
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