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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 951 People

    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    Sometimes I wonder if I'm feeling better

    or if I'm just happy now because I know it's almost over. So I think to myself, "Why don't I just ditch the plan and live?" And then terror seizes me and I begin to panic and I know, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is time to go.
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 4 days ago

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    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    So I am sure tonight is the night!

    The people on here are pretty chill and made the last few weeks tolerable. Thanks bros. See you on the other side.
    LayWithFate LayWithFate 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 26

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    I'm not sure what I'm suppose to say,

    what I'm suppose to do, I'm not sure about anything. I've been dealing with depression for years. I've gotten help, and I'm on medication, but once I feel like I'm getting better it all just creeps back up on me. For the past 2 weeks I've just wanted to be dead, the only problem...
    Jointheclub16 Jointheclub16 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    It sucks that no one would care

    if I wasn't here. I think about it all the time. Why am I even here? I wish I had something to fight for.
    kbmusical kbmusical 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    Losing Myself

    I have been dead for years already. I've killed myself hundreds of times in my head. I'm not courageous enough to actually do it; I wish I really was. My family thinks I'm the worst daughter/sister. They say what about the one's you've left behind? They will hurt and this will...
    link1309 link1309 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    kbmusical kbmusical 18-21, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I don't really want to talk.

    I just want to die. A safety contract I signed says I have to notify someone. They didn't see this loophole. I will not make it through today. Someone please tell my family, if they know them, that this is their fault. I hate them and hope my mom ******* dies when yet another...
    hellpuddle hellpuddle 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 8

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    well to be honest its gotten a lot better

    thanks to someone very precious to me and whenever i can't take it its like she just knows and shes so kind and caring and protecting i love her so much ..... thank you :,)
    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T 2 Responses May 30

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    I hate contemplating living

    or dying, it's such a lonely helpless feeling. Everytime I think I'm stronger I find out I'm not. I'm so weak and helpless most of the time. I never get over things that hurt me. I always think about them and cry, I Jusy want to overdose on pills even though I know it's the...
    Kornisone Kornisone 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5

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    thoughts of killing myself,

    someone wants me dead, and being a burden in some way.
    bluebunny01 bluebunny01 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 22

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    By this time next week,

    sweet oblivion shall be my fate.
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    life is a prison...a life sentence.

    ...i just want to be free. ..
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 15

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    I struggle with depression daily.

    I haven't told anyone about my feelings. I haven't shared about feelings with my support group or even written it down in my journal, because I was afraid to face it. I didn't want anyone else to know. My husband & I are struggling financially. We're nearly 50k in debt, not to...
    AdoreWyoming AdoreWyoming 31-35, F Aug 8, 2014

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    Suicide isn't poetic.

    Suicide is not a cry for attention. Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is an individual reaching the point where they feel so trapped, so alone, so hurt, that they take their own life. Humans have a built in survival instinct. We instinctively gasp for breath, we instinctively...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I read a quote online.

    It said, I don't judge people who come to me saying they are going to kill themselves and are asking for a reason not to. I don't think they are silly or selfish or weak. They are going through the depths of hell, they are trapped in the thickest of jungles. And they are coming...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T Aug 21

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    😔 I always seem to mess everyone's day

    up😔 maybe it's best if im not around ... I will only talk when im asked too and dont be suprised if i dont respond because i might not be around ✌🏼️
    Allhailnikki Allhailnikki 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Suicidal thoughts have never scared me.

    You know, the thought of a world no one else can see. No pain, pressure or goals to meet.. A calm world of eternal sleep.
    Piercedprincess17 Piercedprincess17 18-21, F Jun 4

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    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain 16-17, F 6 Responses May 30, 2012

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    And I don't know how to stop the thoughts.

    They're taking over my life. I'm beginning to think that people may opt for suicide as a logical means of escaping these horrible thoughts and dreams. I sure want to...
    niceusername niceusername 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2014

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    I am so sick of my life.

    I mean where is it going. On top of that I am always sick. I really don't want to live anymore. I just want to slit my wrists and bleed to death. Should I do it???
    Kornloves22 Kornloves22 22-25, M 5 Responses Aug 8

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    starling156 starling156 18-21, M Jul 18

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    Connie24 Connie24 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    I do want to die but it doesn't mean I want

    someone to encourage me to keep living. It's more that I want someone to help me die.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 7

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    I can't get into my car with out wanting to

    hurt myself. I was in a car accident on April 23rd and the other driver was at fault. I was yeilding to traffic to make a left turn. The other driver was making a right turn onto the street I was on. She had slowed down, turned her blinker on and was halfway around the corner...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 13

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    All I've ever wanted is to die.

    Anyone want to do a suicide pact? It would be nice not to die alone.
    alexacrow alexacrow 18-21, F 4 Responses May 7

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    My life is miserable ,

    nothing makes me happy, i'm kind of hate everything, my family, my friends,everyone even myself, i feet nervous for everything , people voices make me angry . i tried to suicide once before but i failed. i cry every night and can't sleep easily. i feel strange to everyone. i...
    rmai rmai 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    i dream and fantasize about myself dying all

    day everyday. with the amount of pain i feel throughout the day...the thought of it being permanently over is oddly the only thing that soothes me. i am dangling over the edge by a thread that i am becoming too heavy for, it's beginning to break. i just need the pain to go away...
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 1 Response May 8

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    why are so many young people here describing

    suicidal thoughts? i am 60, heart broken for the last time, lonely and ready to die. you kids are 30-40 years younger and don't realize that you have plenty of time to make your life work out. what if you were me? i can't spare the years to get over sadness like any of you can...
    aangerr aangerr 61-65, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    19 and I can't say with any confidence

    that I'll make it to 20, I'm no where in life, I'm going no where in life, and I have no one who would understand, I'm alone and I can't keep going.
    MentalDarkness MentalDarkness 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 22

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    I feel so trapped, like there's nowhere I can

    go to feel free. Nothing I can do. I'm so blessed to have a loving family but it's hard keeping this a secret from them. My mom still tells me I need to think more positively when I get down. She has good intentions but doesn't understand that I try to cheer up but just can't...
    starling156 starling156 18-21, M Jul 18

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 22

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    I'd probably be dead by now

    if I weren't so scared that my attempt wouldn't work and I'd be left with some terrible handicap after. What if I were to cause myself to be stuck in a situation I couldn't get myself out of, one where I was unable to try committing suicide again and life was absolutely...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Everyday it's getting harder

    and harder to make myself believe that I need to stay. The thoughts get so bad sometimes.
    kbmusical kbmusical 18-21, F Aug 22

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    I wrote a post about suicide not being cowardly

    or selfish. And it pains me to say that this post has unfortunately made things worse for some of us out there struggling with these thoughts. I want to be clear that I do not condone suicide. I will never condone suicide. It is the saddest thing in the world. There is always...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 1 Response 4 days ago

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    THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE

    AMAZING AND CAN PULL THROUGH. YOU ARE STRONG. KEEP PUSHING ON
    brownhairedgirl13 brownhairedgirl13 18-21, F Feb 23

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    I can't take this ;( I want to just die ;( how

    can people be so mean ;( I can't do this anymore ;(
    Ana1amber Ana1amber 18-21, F 6 Responses Jul 25

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    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    I have been battling my suicidal thoughts

    for awhile now for my family. I have made them promises I didn't even try to keep but I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want them to have problems because of me. I want them to trust me again...but then on days like today where they mock my disability, call me an...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 19

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    Coming Alive After 25 Years Of Darkness

    I suffered from severe depression for more than 25 years. I first threatened suicide when I was, maybe, 7 or 8. I made my first, really serious suicide attempt at 13. For many years, the only thing I really wanted in the world was to be dead. People who don't suffer from...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    I'm 35...2 divorces, infertile,

    hormone imbalance which means I grow unsightly hair, lost a job I loved, lost my apt, I'm an addict of any kind especially any drugs, my parents live in 2 different states, I never see my brothers, I have a dead end job where I put up with sexual harrassment, I have an obsolete...
    SuicideDreams SuicideDreams 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I'm growing emotionally weaker

    and weaker everyday. I'm starting to give up on life and contemplating on suicide right now, I'm on the edge. Through all my years of high school and now through my first year of college, I have been constantly rejected by women. People said college would be different but it's...
    emlugo1996 emlugo1996 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 28

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    Tonights my fist night not drinking

    but I'm still taking sleeping pills I haven't gotten out of bed at all today I plan on hanging my self with a belt at midnight so he can find my body hanging I'm going to carve your fault in my stomach
    Brittanrose Brittanrose 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 20