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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 797 People

    for people that just dont understand put

    yourself in the other persons shoe... when ecerything goes wrong and you feel like thats your only way out........You practice tying your knots, sitting in a chair in your basement. Today is Tuesday, and you don't really have anything planned tomorrow. You've already eaten...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Feb 17

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    I am suicidal. I don't know what to do,

    I have no one to help me and no one knows.
    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 17

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    THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE

    AMAZING AND CAN PULL THROUGH. YOU ARE STRONG. KEEP PUSHING ON
    brownhairedgirl13 brownhairedgirl13 18-21, F Feb 23

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    I am 31 years old. My body is in constant pain.

    I have no children or significant other. I currently live at home with my mom who is also depressed and in constant pain. I can't keep up with the housework, I don't even make enough to put food on the table most of the time. I've tried several times in the past to kill myself...
    Deadvampyrinadeadworld Deadvampyrinadeadworld 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 22

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    Arghhhh I can't even cope anymore I'm

    so Lonely and fed up with just ' existing' and not living like any other 19 year old girl would do.. I can't face anything and I have to get up and go to work in the morning and my anxiety is nuts. Seriously considering suicide.. I want to take a load of pills but it never ever...
    hanep1 hanep1 18-21 4 Responses Apr 4

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    Losing Myself

    I have been dead for years already. I've killed myself hundreds of times in my head. I'm not courageous enough to actually do it; I wish I really was. My family thinks I'm the worst daughter/sister. They say what about the one's you've left behind? They will hurt and this will...
    link1309 link1309 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    I do not know if anyone reads this,

    but here are the facts. I walk around every day with so much anger, anxiety and depression. And the facts are that no one cares. As long as you put on your happy face so no one will care enough to ask if it goes well, but here you have the truth. Everything is great. My life is...
    AttitudeJulie AttitudeJulie 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 17

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    I had a mental breakdown last night

    and was having thoughts about how to kill myself. I've had thoughts like that several times in the past couple years but last night was it. I got so fed up with the suffering I broke down and called my brother. It took several minutes of tears and struggle to get the words...
    Letmebepatient Letmebepatient 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    Dilemma

    I have wanted to go through with my plan for the past fews days, but then I have thought about how my family and the guy who I love (We're only friends at the moment even though we love each other. It's complicated.) would react. My suicide would crush them. What can I do with...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 20

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    Free body parts! Free lungs,

    heart, liver, kidneys, skin, whatever you want! I have a recurring dream. I walk into the hospital with this sign and kill myself in reception. Why can't I just do this. Why do I have to be here if I don't want to and others do. People who need and love life should benefit from...
    brokenandlost brokenandlost 41-45, F 6 Responses Feb 21

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    bilina bilina 18-21, F Apr 24

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    Day by day, I'm becoming more

    and more sure that my Pain will never stop. No matter how much I try to stop it, I always fail. I see that there are no way out, I'm sure that my pain will stop only in the day that my heart stop beating, and when this happens, finally I'll be free of this darkness.
    HenriqueROG HenriqueROG 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 18

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    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T Apr 18

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    Why I'm Not Dead

    The only reason i'm notĀ  dead yet.there are still people who love me.i could die , but that would just take all my pain and put in on my loved ones.i can't do that.they already have there own pain!how can i knowingly give them mineĀ  just so i can be free?so i'm alive.and will...
    jillianlarson2011 jillianlarson2011 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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    WHY AM I SO NUMB. FROM HEAD TO TOE MY BODY JUST

    WANTS TO REST. I HAVE NOT SLEPT OR ATE IN THREE DAYS. JUST POPPING BACK MUCINEX AND BRANDY
    destinedtodie94 destinedtodie94 18-21, M Apr 2

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    Connie24 Connie24 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain 16-17, F 6 Responses May 30, 2012

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    Dear Dad : I never knew your face But you

    knew me right I cry all the time I just want your hug Nobody gets me here on earth I was hoping maby you could be the one who finally understands I just wanted you to be there for that Play my first netball match my first bike ride teaching me how to tell time or whatever...
    maleeny maleeny 18-21, F Apr 24

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    Not directly, but I have toe'd the line between

    life and death numerous times. It hasn't happened or I wouldn't be writing this... But the scars tell the stories. And the experiences tell one story in particular: I don't give a **** if I were to die tomorrow.
    wayward71 wayward71 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 26

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    contimplating a plan

    and letter, sick of letting everyone down
    destinedtodie94 destinedtodie94 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 2

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 22

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    Everyday it's a huge weight to just live.

    People say to reach out but I cause them worry and become a burden. I've not yet found the courage to end my life but I wish I would. Everyday hurts, everyday I cry so much about how I was made this messed up.
    mytrueself113 mytrueself113 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 4

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    Havent eaten all day,

    im so ugly and fat and all i can think about is dying:)
    arielmadelen arielmadelen 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    I don't want to die actualy I just want to pack

    my bag and leave and go anywhere in the world I just don't want to be around my family or my abuser or anybody I know
    maleeny maleeny 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 16

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    The train station is far away

    but the long walk could do me good Ill wait for the train then it could be all gone and done.
    maleeny maleeny 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 20

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    Coming Alive After 25 Years Of Darkness

    I suffered from severe depression for more than 25 years. I first threatened suicide when I was, maybe, 7 or 8. I made my first, really serious suicide attempt at 13. For many years, the only thing I really wanted in the world was to be dead. People who don't suffer from...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    I'm 35...2 divorces, infertile,

    hormone imbalance which means I grow unsightly hair, lost a job I loved, lost my apt, I'm an addict of any kind especially any drugs, my parents live in 2 different states, I never see my brothers, I have a dead end job where I put up with sexual harrassment, I have an obsolete...
    SuicideDreams SuicideDreams 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    crey97zy crey97zy 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 25

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    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    ive never met a girl like my exgirlfriend,

    she at least i thought was the most caring, unselfish, non-slutty, and loyal person ever. In the first year of our relationship i was kind of a **** and i think its cause they say you learn from your parents and my dad was an abusive alcoholic, although i wasent phsycially...
    iamsam123 iamsam123 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    I think it might be better

    for everyone else if I go. And I wouldn't have to put up with all of my **** anymore either. I'm trying to see what the point in staying is but this is looking better and better.
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I have been thinking about suicide a lot lately.

    I'm 15 years old. Some reasons: - I'm always being called fat - I'm always annoying my friends with how much I'm attracted to them - People hate me for no reason - I'm lazy - I'm slightly pedo There are a lot of other reasons too. There is something I'm going to do, on the...
    XxHerperXx XxHerperXx 13-15, M Apr 23

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    I have never felt this down.

    It keeps getting worse. I'll be 30 this year and apparently things are "supposed to look up" eventually but the last two years haven't been worth living. I'm so over being here. I'm over the people in my life. Over feeling pointless and being used by everyone in my life. I've...
    WhatAMadWorldWeAreIn WhatAMadWorldWeAreIn 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    We're just suicidal kids telling other suicidal

    kids that suicide is not the answer, but maybe for some of us, it is the answer.
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 1

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    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Have been for the past 5-6 years.

    It's so hard waking up every morning wishing you hadn't. The depression makes it even worse. Then later came anxiety. There have been times where I thought there was an earthquake going on, but I was just shaking so bad. I truly hate my life. I want to believe it will get better...
    gummball gummball 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    Writing this right now is very painful.

    I just want to end my life without bothering or causing harm to others. I just want to vanish, disappear or even evaporate. Much as I want to live, my desire to die is greater. I am just as anybody here who wishes to do 'it' in the most 'decent' way possible. I respect my body...
    jikko jikko 18-21 5 Responses Apr 21

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    I want to hurt. I want to bleed out

    and overdose and do drugs and get drunk and die.
    crey97zy crey97zy 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    I feel so isolated. So disconnected from my

    world. I don't want to live it anymore. I don't need patting down or assurance that 'everything's going to be okay' because I really don't see it happening. I just don't see a future for myself.
    hannahisnot hannahisnot 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    And I don't know how to stop the thoughts.

    They're taking over my life. I'm beginning to think that people may opt for suicide as a logical means of escaping these horrible thoughts and dreams. I sure want to...
    niceusername niceusername 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2014

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    I've come to accept that I am a person with

    very strong self-destructive tendencies. It leads me to believe that the primary reason I can't call myself a hedonist is because I think my most indulgent desires are the most harmful and must be resisted at all costs. I do dream about giving in and sailing freely into the...
    SourPennies SourPennies 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 20

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