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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 883 People

    I want to do it as soon

    as possible but the only thing that holds me back is failing the attempt....
    claryx claryx 18-21, F 6 Responses May 5

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    Well I have landed myself in ***** creek

    without a paddle. It would be nice to post a positive experience amongst my page but unfortunately I am in an environment where nothing is possible to keep going, I am in huge debt which I got into to get equipment for my dream career (which is probably going to stay a dream...
    WokenandOpen WokenandOpen 31-35, M Jun 12

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    I think I'm at a point

    now I can finally let go.
    lastassassin lastassassin 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 15

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    Suicidal thoughts have never scared me.

    You know, the thought of a world no one else can see. No pain, pressure or goals to meet.. A calm world of eternal sleep.
    Suicidekisses Suicidekisses 18-21, F Jun 4

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 22

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    I am so ashamed to admit

    that I am very suicidal. I am very ashamed to admit that I am having these kinds of thoughts tonight. I am very ashamed to admit, that I am not doing so good....I'm so sorry to be a let down...
    BroknGirl89 BroknGirl89 26-30, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Connie24 Connie24 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    It's funny. I think about dying all the time.

    Where,when, how. Always on my mind. I even think of others.. See, I want to be considerate when I die. I don't want to scar anyone too deeply. I don't want anyone else involved. That's where it's funny. My "depression" is to the point where I'm barely existing. I've...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 30

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    I honestly hate when people tell me I have my

    whole life ahead of me. My life has been crappy since I could remember. Why should I continue? So people can anger me even more? Or so I can prolong my suffering until I reach old age? We're all going to die one day, so I don't see the difference. I also hate being told it gets...
    Knixveus5 Knixveus5 18-21, M 3 Responses May 14

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    meh dont want to type a enormous story.

    when I found out about how my dad died It really didnt bother me.. I thought about it for a few more years and well... like father like son
    FabledCity FabledCity 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 12

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    I don't really want to talk.

    I just want to die. A safety contract I signed says I have to notify someone. They didn't see this loophole. I will not make it through today. Someone please tell my family, if they know them, that this is their fault. I hate them and hope my mom ******* dies when yet another...
    hellpuddle hellpuddle 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 8

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    I struggle with depression daily.

    I haven't told anyone about my feelings. I haven't shared about feelings with my support group or even written it down in my journal, because I was afraid to face it. I didn't want anyone else to know. My husband & I are struggling financially. We're nearly 50k in debt, not to...
    AdoreWyoming AdoreWyoming 31-35, F Aug 8, 2014

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    I can't get into my car with out wanting to

    hurt myself. I was in a car accident on April 23rd and the other driver was at fault. I was yeilding to traffic to make a left turn. The other driver was making a right turn onto the street I was on. She had slowed down, turned her blinker on and was halfway around the corner...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 13

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    Free body parts! Free lungs,

    heart, liver, kidneys, skin, whatever you want! I have a recurring dream. I walk into the hospital with this sign and kill myself in reception. Why can't I just do this. Why do I have to be here if I don't want to and others do. People who need and love life should benefit from...
    brokenandlost brokenandlost 41-45, F 6 Responses Feb 21

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    Coming Alive After 25 Years Of Darkness

    I suffered from severe depression for more than 25 years. I first threatened suicide when I was, maybe, 7 or 8. I made my first, really serious suicide attempt at 13. For many years, the only thing I really wanted in the world was to be dead. People who don't suffer from...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    Sometimes I read stories

    that go along the lines of "I used to be suicidal and depressed as a teenager but now I'm 28 and my husband is reading bedtime stories to my kids and I have my dream job and life is now beautiful" But when I reflect upon my own life, I feel like that's never going to be me at...
    LittleMidnight LittleMidnight 18-21 3 days ago

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    I am suicidal. I don't know what to do,

    I have no one to help me and no one knows.
    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 17

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    Losing Myself

    I have been dead for years already. I've killed myself hundreds of times in my head. I'm not courageous enough to actually do it; I wish I really was. My family thinks I'm the worst daughter/sister. They say what about the one's you've left behind? They will hurt and this will...
    link1309 link1309 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    My life is miserable ,

    nothing makes me happy, i'm kind of hate everything, my family, my friends,everyone even myself, i feet nervous for everything , people voices make me angry . i tried to suicide once before but i failed. i cry every night and can't sleep easily. i feel strange to everyone. i...
    rmai rmai 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    So my husband and I are fighting on our

    anniversary. He tells me he's taking cay of everything, no more problems for me. We've been talking suicide. So I know what that means. I down my lorazepam with vodka, choose a sharp knife, and start to fill the tub. Then he comes home and he's pissed at me. I don't get it.
    suisquirrel suisquirrel 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    I feel like the only thing I truely have

    control over is hurting myself. I can't handle my bf's verbal abuse anymore. I feel like there's no way out. I wish I was strong enough to just leave everything behind.
    Jennnnla Jennnnla 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    well to be honest its gotten a lot better

    thanks to someone very precious to me and whenever i can't take it its like she just knows and shes so kind and caring and protecting i love her so much ..... thank you :,)
    Anastas17 Anastas17 18-21, T 2 Responses May 30

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    It happened when i quit my job.

    I felt like i am a hopeless case. I kept on thinking ways how to commit suicide. After all the thoughts about it, i was able to see good things in life. God has a purpose on me but i was not able to see it. Gosh!!! It's totally ruin my life. I kept on thinking about it ..i don't...
    Pisces1991 Pisces1991 22-25, M Jun 27

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    Im kinda afraid of myself,

    I'm full of hate, but I can't hurt anyone, just myself. I'm kinda obsessed with the idea of my own death. The way I would do it, how I use to cut it, how ways I can cut my own neck? Will I be able to count the bullets on my head? When your soul is broken and dark, your mind...
    Healinghate Healinghate 18-21, M Jun 4

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    life is a prison...a life sentence.

    ...i just want to be free. ..
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 15

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    Have been for the past 5-6 years.

    It's so hard waking up every morning wishing you hadn't. The depression makes it even worse. Then later came anxiety. There have been times where I thought there was an earthquake going on, but I was just shaking so bad. I truly hate my life. I want to believe it will get better...
    gummball gummball 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    every day. more and more.

    no one can help me. I'm alone.
    brettlag brettlag 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    I'm 35...2 divorces, infertile,

    hormone imbalance which means I grow unsightly hair, lost a job I loved, lost my apt, I'm an addict of any kind especially any drugs, my parents live in 2 different states, I never see my brothers, I have a dead end job where I put up with sexual harrassment, I have an obsolete...
    SuicideDreams SuicideDreams 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I just look at life as illusory

    and nothing seems to be worth the toilet. There's no point in staying alive in this realm of slavery. Nothing seems to interest me any more. I can only squeeze happiness out of the little furtive moments in my black and white world. Part of me is dead and rotting and the other...
    jadedkay jadedkay 26-30, M May 28

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    Things seemed to have been getting

    so much better, the thoughts were still always in the back of my mind of course, but now I can't even have a good time with my boyfriend, or family, because I'm constantly thinking about how perpetually upset and worthless I am/feel and how I should just off myself, he tells me...
    Deep666Web Deep666Web 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    For Too Long.

    On March 31, 2004, I went to sleep feeling perfectly fine. On April 1, I woke up wanting to die. I was thirteen. Four years later, the feeling hasn't gone away. I'm afraid that one of these days, I'll forget what I have to live for. One can only take such intense sadness for...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Everyday it's a huge weight to just live.

    People say to reach out but I cause them worry and become a burden. I've not yet found the courage to end my life but I wish I would. Everyday hurts, everyday I cry so much about how I was made this messed up.
    mytrueself113 mytrueself113 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 4

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    I'm passed my breaking point.

    I attempted 3 times already. Once in 6th grade .Once in 10th. And once a week ago. I can't do this any more. I can't. I was never proud of my body when I was younger. Junior year changed that. In a matter of 3 months I became the strongest and biggest in the school and...
    spartanmartin spartanmartin 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Has anyone else gone through a period

    where you keep attempting suicide? Idk how to get out of it. I've had about 5 this semester and I finally ended up in the hospital a few weeks ago and thought I was strong enough to stop attempting but I did again tonight and idk how to stop.
    dmbpal dmbpal 18-21, F 3 Responses May 24

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    I can't sleep. I can't eat.

    I can't take care of my child. I can't move. I can't breathe. I just can't do this anymore.
    redliz88 redliz88 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm officially afraid of being alone.

    I don't trust myself. I went out to get some tacos and beer for taco Tuesday, on way home I wasn't even paying attention to where I was walking or who was around me. I was content to let myself wander into a dangerous area all by myself whilst intoxicated. I just don't care...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    And I don't know how to stop the thoughts.

    They're taking over my life. I'm beginning to think that people may opt for suicide as a logical means of escaping these horrible thoughts and dreams. I sure want to...
    niceusername niceusername 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2014

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    I feel like no one cares about me.

    My boyfriend acts like I'm deranged and stupid when I try to talk about it. But he's the closest person I have. I feel like I have no one and we have a ****** relationship. So where is my life headed? Hell apparently. Idk what to do. I wish I could run away or commit suicide...
    Sunshinemms Sunshinemms 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 24

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    ...

    It's not that I want to die... I just don't see a point in living anymore. I'm sure that such a statement sounds at least somewhat unappreciative, seeing as how I am a single white female living in the suburbs of theĀ US. From an outside perspective, my situation probably seems...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE

    AMAZING AND CAN PULL THROUGH. YOU ARE STRONG. KEEP PUSHING ON
    brownhairedgirl13 brownhairedgirl13 18-21, F Feb 23

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    I can't even get out of bed today (not really

    like any other day, but a little) because I know I'll try to kill myself. No one's home and I know where the meds are, even though my mom hides them from me. Just having to get up to go to the restroom took so much self control that I feel exhausted now. Well, even more...
    ColorMeHorror ColorMeHorror 18-21, T 1 Response 6 days ago

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    We're just suicidal kids telling other suicidal

    kids that suicide is not the answer, but maybe for some of us, it is the answer.
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 1

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