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I Am Suicidal

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 764 People

    For Too Long.

    On March 31, 2004, I went to sleep feeling perfectly fine. On April 1, I woke up wanting to die. I was thirteen. Four years later, the feeling hasn't gone away. I'm afraid that one of these days, I'll forget what I have to live for. One can only take such intense sadness for...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 20

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    Please Answer!!!

    What stops you from killing yourself?What has helped you hang onto life?Thanks x
    JustKeepFighting JustKeepFighting 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 29, 2012

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    i am ready to die no one loves me

    and i just want it to end help
    babychris94 babychris94 18-21, T 1 Response Mar 19

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    AaliyahLove AaliyahLove 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 9

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    Havent eaten all day,

    im so ugly and fat and all i can think about is dying:)
    arielmadelen arielmadelen 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    theyunknowngirl theyunknowngirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    Why I'm Not Dead

    The only reason i'm not  dead yet.there are still people who love me.i could die , but that would just take all my pain and put in on my loved ones.i can't do that.they already have there own pain!how can i knowingly give them mine  just so i can be free?so i'm alive.and will...
    jillianlarson2011 jillianlarson2011 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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    Dilemma

    I have wanted to go through with my plan for the past fews days, but then I have thought about how my family and the guy who I love (We're only friends at the moment even though we love each other. It's complicated.) would react. My suicide would crush them. What can I do with...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M Mar 21

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    i fantasize about how i am going to kill myself.

    i go into every detail. i crave the feeling of excitement when i think about it. of course, i can't go through with it. i think of my younger siblings when i feel as if i will act on it. i don't want to put them through the pain of having lost someone close to them. but i want...
    emmers95 emmers95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    I'm 35...2 divorces, infertile,

    hormone imbalance which means I grow unsightly hair, lost a job I loved, lost my apt, I'm an addict of any kind especially any drugs, my parents live in 2 different states, I never see my brothers, I have a dead end job where I put up with sexual harrassment, I have an obsolete...
    SuicideDreams SuicideDreams 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I'm extremely depressed

    and I don't know what to do. I even tried to kill myself by cutting my thighs but I stopped before I was even close because I wasn't accustomed to seeing so much blood... I don't know what to do...
    FallenXProphecy FallenXProphecy 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 16

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    I have two older brothers

    and they have so many friends, they are always at my house too with a huge group of people, I'm obviously shy and quiet and awkward, I don't know how to make conversations so I hide in my room. all I can think about is how I have no friends and I'm so ******* lonely all the time...
    noriebby noriebby 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    I just don't want to live anymore.

    It's all too much. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, loneliness, stress... It's just all too much!
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE

    AMAZING AND CAN PULL THROUGH. YOU ARE STRONG. KEEP PUSHING ON
    brownhairedgirl13 brownhairedgirl13 18-21, F Feb 23

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    Depression Is Killing Me

    Depression is a horrible thing. It's a killer. It can make you completely lose your mind. It can make you hate the world. Hate yourself. Hate others. Hate those who care and those who don't. It ruins all the good things. Makes them almost non egzistant. All you see when you look...
    thequeenofpain thequeenofpain 16-17, F 6 Responses May 30, 2012

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    The most fascinating aspect of my own suicidal

    tendencies is not the reasons that I wish to die, nor is it the amount of 'pain' I feel or how I 'struggle' against my thoughts. In reality, I've found myself fascinated with the fact I am suicidal at all. I will spare you the minor details, but essentially I should be pretty...
    WikaloFwoosh WikaloFwoosh 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    It hits me like I just ran into a brick wall

    head first... I've been living this way, too long. I'm stuck in this.. Time loop; except time isn't relevant in this loop. I didn't really know I was here, for years. I didn't know it didn't just feel this way for a week. I thought it was a bad week.. But it's been a bad year...
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F Mar 12

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    And I don't know how to stop the thoughts.

    They're taking over my life. I'm beginning to think that people may opt for suicide as a logical means of escaping these horrible thoughts and dreams. I sure want to...
    niceusername niceusername 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2014

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    http://www.gofundme.com/ovknbk?

    fb_action_ids=1050142521682556&fb_action_types=og.shares&fb_ref=undefined&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B1011218698908263%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.shares%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%22undefined%22%5D
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M Mar 17

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    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    I want to be skinny. I want to be pretty.

    I want to be good enough. I want to feel pure.
    GiuliaOlimpio GiuliaOlimpio 18-21 1 Response Mar 20

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    I am suicidal. I don't know what to do,

    I have no one to help me and no one knows.
    secretidentity125 secretidentity125 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 17

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    I've been posting so much lately

    and I feel so annoying and im sorry. The pain i feel everyday could never be worth anything. I have a really hard time finding happiness. I'm not sure why I'm posting really i just have to try all the things before its all over. I have to. But I'm so ******* lost. I need to die...
    dmbpal dmbpal 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    When I was a child, I used to think about

    suicide. I was very young even. I used to fantasize about ceasing to exist and how nice that would be. I used to wish I'd never been born because that way at least no one would miss me (I wouldn't be hurting anyone by my actions of killing myself). Children are more than capable...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 22

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    I'm one of those people

    that everyone else needs to get away from because they cause so much negativity. And I want them to get away I want them to be happy. I can't help being negative, I want to change so badly but there are just so many problems at the root of this. I know some people won't know it...
    dmbpal dmbpal 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I have only thought about suicide once.

    And it has never left my mind since. I know I am not meant to live. I know I will, but I don't know how soon. Do you think I am being selfish?
    elizabethandy elizabethandy 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    It's coming back again.

    I feel it. I can see the pattern repeating and it's drawing the life out of me to know what's coming. The suicidal thoughts have already started to whisper in the back of my mind again, creping in the shadows again. I talked about my mind before on here quite a lot... But it's...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    Losing Myself

    I have been dead for years already. I've killed myself hundreds of times in my head. I'm not courageous enough to actually do it; I wish I really was. My family thinks I'm the worst daughter/sister. They say what about the one's you've left behind? They will hurt and this will...
    link1309 link1309 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    Yesterday, the day before,

    and maybe the day before that, I don't really know. I haven't really been sleeping much and I've been really paranoid lately. I keep thnking about what a person could do, imagining stupid scenarios where they turn on me, and think endlessly of ways I could escape a person if...
    AndrewRD AndrewRD 18-21, M Mar 20

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    I never thought of myself

    as suicidal, but I read a little bit about suicidal thoughts and discovered that a lot of people who survive suicide attempts say that its not so much that they want to die as it is that they dont want to live. THIS is what I relate to. I have friends, I think I am passively...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    It's a weird situation,

    I have good days, I have bad days but not a day goes by without wanting to take my own life. I think of the ways to do it and none seem quick enough, pills.... too slow. hanging? too slow, wrists? nope too slow. its only a gun that would do the trick outright and where the hell...
    crabspanner crabspanner 36-40, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 12

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    Connie24 Connie24 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    I have been chronically suicidal

    since my Mum died in 2001. Things have changed a bit and there are different 'types' of suicidal feelings I have. One type is wanting to die because everything is hurting so much emotionally because I have mental health problems. The second reason is that I want to die to get...
    LinkinParkMuse LinkinParkMuse 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    The Mirror

    I'm supposed to be dead. Am I dead? But I'm still breathing now. What happened? I thought I had already slit my wrist that night. I'm sure that I've been gone for seconds. But why am I lying on this hospital bed right now? Do I want to live? There, my boyfriend came through...
    hellsdevil hellsdevil 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 15, 2009

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    for people that just dont understand put

    yourself in the other persons shoe... when ecerything goes wrong and you feel like thats your only way out........You practice tying your knots, sitting in a chair in your basement. Today is Tuesday, and you don't really have anything planned tomorrow. You've already eaten...
    JustBeYourSelff JustBeYourSelff 22-25, M 6 Responses Feb 17

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    I have entered suicidal depression

    for the second time. Last time the circumstances changed - a partner returned. This time that seems unlikely. I am constantly thinking of all the things I could have done better, all the mistakes I made and the beautiful life I could be living now. I am surrounded by friends...
    bljlondon bljlondon 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 5

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    I feel it is just a matter of time.

    I need to stop to ease the pain in my mind and very soul. I have battled for so long I just can't see any other ending. I have a great job, wife, daughter yet so alone. I have withdrawn from everything bit at a time to try to cope and nothing helps, I still suffer with...
    Magichi Magichi 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 7

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    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    Usually I become suicidal

    when I give my power away. Mostly when the person I put my trust in pushes me away. It's a horrible feeling. One I'm glad I don't have today. I need to be independent, stop trusting and believing in people (in especially straight male friends) and live with others around but not...
    YeahthatsMylife YeahthatsMylife 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    ...

    It's not that I want to die... I just don't see a point in living anymore. I'm sure that such a statement sounds at least somewhat unappreciative, seeing as how I am a single white female living in the suburbs of the US. From an outside perspective, my situation probably seems...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    About me...I'm a 31 year old mother of three.

    I have a loving boyfriend and a decent job. My social life is limited to work, but that's my own choosing. I'm bipolar, have anxiety issues, OCD, and well, surely something else... I've been suicidal since I was 16. I've tried to kill myself several times. I've overdosed many...
    Awesomefulninja Awesomefulninja 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Reset Button?

    You know, I always thought that if I ever contemplated suicide that I would be in a state where I would be paralyzed with depression. But now that I am thinking about it that just isn't the case. I guess I'm kind of down, I've definitely felt better before. But I'm not drowning...
    sensesfail sensesfail 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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