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I Am Synthlife

Just using this as my own place to put entries.

    The nights are still the hardest/lonliest,

    but I guess they always were so no change there....before I get into all that...... I made a mistake in trying to improve my "Synthetic Life" by switching brands. I only did it because of availability issue with the current one and because I didn't really think it was going to...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Jan 9, 2014

    I F'ing KNEW IT!!

    You have to know I've been keeping track! I couldn't trust you in a thousand years after all you have done to every person in your life. You really think I believed you wanting to provide for THIS family when you said you had to find your way? Not for a minute! Sure I'm a little...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Nov 15, 2013

    Today was a pretty good day.

    I didn't get up or get Little Man breakfast like I should have but luckily The Princess was home to today and really stepped up and helped A LOT!! This is a terrible way to think, but boy am I glad for instilling a reclusive, sedentary lifestyle w/him up to this point, it will...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 6, 2014

    I F'ing KNEW IT!! Part 3

    Why does it keep running the title in with the body? ****!! I just lost everything I had just said!!Anyway...I fully expect you to drop the "love" bomb on her in the next few days to a week and depending on where her head is at, maybe to **** with you, maybe she thinks you are...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Nov 15, 2013

    Privacy...What's That?!?!

    ***Edit, deleted from group and copied to my own Original Aug 12, 2013 Sometimes I have things on my mind that I need to express to no-one in particular. Sometimes I would like to enjoy some quiet or do something without any discussion about it. Sometimes I would like to read...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Aug 13, 2013

    Wish I Could Wish....

    How does that song go...Love doesn't live here anymore...No big deal, don't really need to know, it is what it is and the title says it all. I tried, I really really did. The best I can do now is to just care. There is just too much anxiety when he's around, no one can...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Sep 4, 2013

    Need An Outlet...

    ***Edit...deleted from original group and reposted in my own Original Aug 11, 2013 I've been looking for an outlet to organize my thoughts, goals, ambitions, priorities etc... Writing them on paper just wasn't working anymore. I want to remain anonymous as my thought and plans...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Aug 13, 2013

    ....

    Oh this Synthetic Life has gone on for far far too long. I had dreams and aspirations like everyone else, I was never going to be a Dr or anything like that, I didn't quite have that kind of ambiton or committment ... well, I guess I did, but it was channelled in a much different...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Oct 29, 2013

    I F'ing KNEW IT!! Part 2

    I never did fully get in to what it was I f'ing knew. Other than saying I've been keeping track.Well that is pretty much it, I have been keeping track periodically all along. Nothing intense because frankly I expect you to **** me over, just wanted confirmation. I thought maybe...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Nov 15, 2013

    This was the day. . .

    The whole thing was a LOT more emotional than I expected. The one person that was least emotional was Little Man, but maybe it just hasn't hit him yet, maybe in time he will get to missing him. Unless it's like last time and he barely notices? Should I be worried about that or...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 5, 2014

    Just GO Already!!

    Spring can't come fast enough! So many reasons...topmost, I ******* HATE winter and LOVE spring, but this may be the best one ever if he follows thru with his ridiculous plan. Ride off in to the sunset my friend...fly away be free. LITERALLY!! Never to be seen or heard from again...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Oct 25, 2013

    Still Need A Direction....

                                            The Dr appt that I thought was going to be the answer to so many problems didn't turn out like I expected. Ibuprofen?? No matter how many times I've told him I have weird reactions he keeps trying to...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Nov 24, 2013

    Umm... I don't know if I did something different

    or there was an update here but this looks weird. Where are the edit controls??Anyway... So...the time is almost here. Still haven't told 'Little Man' and I don't know if you think I'm the one who's deluded and really believe in you or if you are deluded in this working. I can't...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Dec 22, 2013

    I Wish There Really Was An Arizona...But It Will Be Nice....

    ...so when we really get to the truth of the matter, I do have to admit, for all the animosity and negativity that now harbors inside me, I'm just like anybody else and want a fairytale ending too. I want things to work out. I would love to get out of this cesspool of a state, I...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Nov 15, 2013

    The "Get-Together" And Why I Can't Stand People...Finally....

    I'm not sure how this is going to turn out, because I'm already tired and as usual had to wait for privacy.....So my Mom went to a birthday party for my estranged nephew...her grandson (estranged because my idiot brother gave up rights to him rather than get a job and pay child...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Aug 13, 2013

    Not Sure This Is The Type Of Venue I Was Looking For...

    ***Edit...fixed the issue by deleting it from the group it was in and creating my own and copy/paste. Originally posted Aug 12, 2013 I'm going to give this site a chance for now because it seemed to meet the needs I was looking for. But I posted an entry/story...whatever, yest...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Aug 13, 2013

    Never Did Say Why I Now Hate People. . .

    Now that school is starting again, I don't know how this staying up to have privacy is going to work. I'd like to spend time with my kids while everyone else is awake and sleep when everyone else is sleeping...if my body allows. I don't want to go thru another year like the past...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Aug 21, 2013

    eh...feeling "meh" I want to go to bed like any

    other normal person at this time of day!!!! I'm embarassed about the way I sleep and I've done so many things to try to correct it. I feel terrible for my Precious Ones. Finally go approval on the new med but not super thrilled about having to try this avenue. I'm going to and...
    synthlife synthlife
    41-45, F
    Jan 11, 2014
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