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I Am Terrified of Commitment

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 432 People

    I never really thought about it

    but it's true. I actively avoid getting romantically involved with guys. And it's not that I don't get lonely, I do, it's just I'm afraid of all the responsibilities and work that come along with relationships like that. (Mostly the sexual aspects.....I'm a people pleaser...
    PinkMellow PinkMellow 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 8

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    lisa1996 lisa1996 18-21, F Aug 16

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    No Good Reason.

    I'm nineteen years old and am dreading the idea of marriage.  Why? It makes no sense.  My parents and grandparents are all happily married...so where in gods name is this coming from? I have more or less made a rule with myself that I can't  date anybody over the...
    Luphmuffin Luphmuffin 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 7, 2010

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    Every time I hear the word forever

    and myself put in the same sentence, raises the hair at the back of my neck, as if alerting me to RUN! Dont know why, but it has been always a part of me.
    hateme92 hateme92 18-21, F Jan 26

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    I'm Not Sure Why

    I'm not sure why But it's always been a part of my life.  I never let someone get too close to my heart.  It's typically 3 years when I finally feel Settled in a relationship and then I run.  I never let anyone get too close to my heart. But it's always been...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 5 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    No Problemo

    I don't know what it is about relationships and love that make me want to back out. I get these insane doubts about a seemingly perfect relationship, then end it. Like it's weird to have the thought of belonging to someone, and having someone belong to me. I kinda want a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    I've Never Been Close To Having A Relationship

     I am to blame for not being in a relationship though, I secretly think I don't want to be in one. Every time someone attempts to get close to me  close up and ignore them. I met this wonderful guy, everything I'd ever wanted, but not when I wanted it. He was older...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 2, 2010

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    It Isn`T Safe... For Anyone

    Commitment. The first word that come to my mind when I hear that word, is relationships. In a relationship there is two people. Therefore, to have commitment in a relationship, it takes both of the partners. Not just one, both. Honestly, i don`t see it a lot in relationships...
    Smartypants5 Smartypants5 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 27, 2013

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    Y All The Guys Hate Me

    well all the guys hate me b/c im like to nuts or something i get nouvous when i talk 2 them but not my girlfriends
    ariellecoburn ariellecoburn 13-15, M Jul 4, 2012

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    I Laughed.

    I clicked the "Me Too" button, then the "congrats!" came up and I couldn't help but laugh. This isn't a good thing, EP.
    starsoffire starsoffire 18-21, F May 29, 2012

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    Fear of Commitment Is Ruining My Life

    i am afraid of Commitment. I mean, panic-attack afraid. Sweaty, stomach-churning, legs cramping, sleep deprived afraid. terrified. I once managed to get engaged to a girl I loved, but less than 5 days after, i experienced a panic attack. I kept my fears to myself, dismissed...
    kingsteve72 kingsteve72 36-40 3 Responses Jul 23, 2009

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    So Afraid of commitment,

    I sabbotage myself by having relations only with people I dont belong with
    LdMtl LdMtl 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    I hate having to be committed!

    That's why I don't like relationships. It's all just for fun now and later I can think about marriage and what not(:
    sexysammy468 sexysammy468 18-21, F Feb 18

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    Life Is a Commitment. ...

    Life is a commitment. In order to react with other people you need commitment. this includes all areas of life, work, friend, family and loved ones.
    monalisasmiled monalisasmiled 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 11, 2007

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    Commitment Is A Responsibility...

    Commitment is a responsibility that I would proudly take on...
    cookies cookies 19-21, F 5 Responses Dec 26, 2006

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    I know where it started.

    It started with my last break up. Long story short - I put all of myself into it. And what I got was, "I need to find myself." What does that mean anyway? Well, she found herself... having someone else's baby. So anyway, I got over all that. Moved on, explored, achieved...
    NewShoes12 NewShoes12 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    Completly.    I...

    completly.    I like being single and not having anyone else to worry about, although my parents think thats completly wrong, and I hate them for it!
    chateone chateone 19-21, F 2 Responses Feb 10, 2007

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    Dating someone for the first time is scary

    and knowing that one of your guy friends likes you is even scarier! I've been friends with (let's call him Tim) Tim since freshman year and now (junior) and his best friend has been asking me if I like Tim then later changed the question to "Would you date him." I responded "I'm...
    RedCatHunting RedCatHunting 16-17, F Mar 2

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    I don't know when this fear started,

    I can't remember always feeling this way. And on assumption most would say I was over committed. I'm married, separated, was engaged again last year and have a child, and have been in several relationships since. And I'm only 22! I'm not trying to ruin people's lives or my own...
    Roundabouts Roundabouts 22-25, F Jan 16

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    I'm So Young But Scared Of Commitment

    Even when I'm playing an online game I like, I can't even commitment even though its only a game! Even when in real life I actually like a guy, I'll lie about it without even meaning to. I'm still young and that's what scares me, what if i never get over my fear of commitment?
    mysteryteen mysteryteen 16-17, F Nov 3, 2011

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    I Like Being Me, Not Us.

    I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I think I have something like a boyfriend… I’m not exactly sure. I thought we were just casually hanging out, but last Saturday he was so offended I made plans for myself without him, that it came to my mind that he obviously thinks that...
    angel1que angel1que 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2011

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    Not For Me

    i dont think i will ever commit to anything, just myself because i am so afraid of being hurt, i will never marry or have children. Its just not for me
    Donalh Donalh 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 5, 2008

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    I need advice! I'm terrified of getting

    seriously involved with anyone and I think it's holding me back from true happiness. I think it stems from the fact that I have an abject fear of failure: I'm too afraid to really let someone in to my heart because I go in expecting the worst, and know I would be crushed if it...
    headversusheart headversusheart 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    I was scared of commitment,

    I'd shake and all sorts when it came up, getting close to someone was hard enough! Let alone being open with them, however, I fell in love, we've got a gorgeous baby girl, he said he wanted to get married, and then yesterday he dumped me as he's scared and thinks we may argue...
    BritishK BritishK 18-21, F Feb 8

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    I Play It Safe All The Time.

    I rejected guys who liked me and I liked them back many times just because I was not sure we would make a good couple. I have never been sure about relationship. I hate the idea of sticking with someone all the time. I need much private space and free time. I don't even want to...
    sanduniverse sanduniverse 18-21, F May 30, 2012

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    Moving On After Heartache

    I was in a relationship with someone who really didn't love me. He had broken up with me a number of times, and I was foolish enough to take him back. One minute he couldn't live without me, the next he'd tell him how he wasn't ready or how he felt it wasn't right. I invested so...
    Nia0629 Nia0629 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    What the Hell Is Wrong With Me?

    I'm scared of love, commitment, people near to me... everything. I can't sleep next to my girlfriend without having a panic attack (yeah, I really got one while I was lying next to her, it was horrible, I felt SO bad). Now I met a man whom I'm really smitten on and who likes me...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 2 Responses May 8, 2007

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    It struck me like a bolt of lightning.

    I've never "gone all in" in a relationship. Always felt trapped, always sought a way out. I stayed in my last relationship despite this only because whenever I wanted to give up she wouldn't. Lord help me. I have full faith that one day I'll find the right woman and become the...
    jjsdaddy86 jjsdaddy86 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 15

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    He wants commitment now.

    He says he doesn't but he brought it up! I don't want a commitment. I can't handle one. I'm scared he will leave because I can't give it to him. I'm scared that I'll be unhappy or used in this commitment. The thought makes me want to puke. I can't. I'd rather end it I think...
    maggielue maggielue 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2013

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    It Scares Me

    im absolutely terrified. it keeps me from having a boyfriend. the problem isnt the boyfriend. im not scared of the commitement itself. but what happens after. like what happens when we break up? & im left all alone. im scared of being completely attached to someone and then...
    youdontknowme54321 youdontknowme54321 16-18, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2007

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    Every single time they started to show signs of

    being serious, I got scared and backpedaled. Sometimes I wonder if it was because I took commitments too seriously. Or maybe I was just afraid of getting hurt.
    Felicity3110 Felicity3110 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    I Dont Think So...never e...

    i dont think so...never experienced comitment phoba yet
    jess6 jess6 16-18, F Feb 11, 2007

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    I Am a Serious Relationship Ad...

    I am a serious relationship addict.  It has almost always been my number one goal to see how serious a relationship could get.  I've never been scared of the idea of permenance.  In fact, I prefer it.  There's a certain comfort in it. 
    theophania theophania 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 11, 2007

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    Am I A Commitphobe?

    I have been noticing a pattern that I have been doing for the past 10 years. I am going to be 28 and this habit hasn't improved. When a man wants me to be his girlfriend/wife I panicked big time! I did everything you could have imagined to sabotage the friendship that was on...
    LadyOutspoken LadyOutspoken 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Fantasy Man

    I tend to compare my partner to a fantasy man inside my head.  Of course, a man as perfect as that doesn't exist - and if he did, he wouldn't be interested in me.  But still, the dissatisfaction this causes me stops me from feeling total commitment for my nice, ordinary...
    CrystalCat CrystalCat 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 4, 2007

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    Commitment Phobe!

    I have been afraid of commitment for as long as I can remember. I am afraid of committed relationships, commitment to jobs, commitment to activities with friends, commitment to lying in someone arms. I NEED to be free. And I don't want to be this way. If I HAVE to do it, I...
    whitefether whitefether 61-65, F 1 Response Jan 7, 2011

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    I Am Not Exactly Terrified of ...

    I am not exactly terrified of commitment, I'm just afraid of ending up with the wrong person. So far I've been with no one except the wrong person so I'm not quite sure how I would do in a different position
    drthbeauty drthbeauty 16-18, F 2 Responses Feb 11, 2007

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    Urges to Run

    For me relationships look like something I'd want but once I get into one the urges begin. During the first couple of months everything seems fine. I find out as much info about the guy as possible but I don't let him know too much about me. I don't want guys to get too close to...
    awesomerz awesomerz 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2009

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    Commitaphobic

    I think a lot of people who don't suffer from this don't get how trapped you feel at the slightest hint of a commitment or relationship. Even when I really like someone, am both attracted to their looks and their personality, soon as they try to get close, anywhere near serious...
    PoisonedOak PoisonedOak 18-21, F 12 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I've dated SOOO MANYY people,

    but after I a while I always realize that I don't like then all that much. I'm always the one to break up with them, and it hurts, but it's nearly impossible for me to stay committed. I guess i'm stay waiting for that one person
    Nickiboy14 Nickiboy14 13-15, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    I Got Problems

    i don't like commitment in other things, not only relationships. Like I will avoid certain things that are permanent like tattoos, and buying things I will have to make a lot of payments on. Once I postponed payments on a ticket just so I can pay whole thing at once. I hate idea...
    NotApplicable NotApplicable 22-25, F Sep 23, 2011

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    No More Promises.

    I had dated this guy for almost 4 months and he decided to break up with me 3 weeks before my 8th grade graduation. (He is a senior now, We will be going to different high schools) I almost failed a few classes because i was so depressed. He promised me he'd be with me and love...
    Icantcutanymore Icantcutanymore 18-21, F Jul 2, 2012

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    =(

    I have been in a relationship for 7 years, faithfully. So I guess I already am commited.  But part of me is terrified of moving further in the relationship, and I feel absolutely awful about it.  My boyfriend gets so sad (understandably) when he bring up moving to a new...
    outoftheshadows outoftheshadows 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 10, 2008

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    Www.letsconfide.com

    www.letsconfide.com. Read true personal stories, chat, & get advice from a group of people who all say Let's Confide
    letsconfide letsconfide 26-30 Apr 3, 2012

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    I connect to people so easily

    and when I lose then I get depressed and feel so bad. So I'm afraid to connect and stay away from people. It's bad in both two ways. What should I do
    lisa1996 lisa1996 18-21, F May 29

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    He Always End Up Feeling Obligated

    I feel like my ex boyfriend is afraid of commitment. When we were going out we had this great relationship it's like we had knew each other our whole life. Anyways we ended up breaking up for no reason then he came back to me but left again. Recently he has came back and opened...
    nayelyyy nayelyyy 18-21, F Oct 14, 2013

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    How Do I Know?

    How do I know you're not using me? How do I know that you aren't just hopping onto the bandwagon of "I like her because everyone else does/did at one point"? How do I know you're worth my time? I don't want to mess up. I don't want to actually love someone I can have. It's not...
    Fuzzies Fuzzies 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 21, 2013

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    I think I am. I'm great in relationships I

    never cheat i am all in it! But when my boyfriend starts talking about. The future I get a little freaked out and then I start to push away. I don't really mean to but I just get scared of the idea of getting married and starting lives together. WhAts wrong with me?
    jkaw jkaw 18-21, F May 30

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    I Need My Space!

    My friend and I had this big huge plan and I liked it, but I began to feel trapped in this plan, now I am out and I feel better but I wish I didn't let her down. I had a boyfriend and when he told me he loved me I pushed him away (mostly because it was 2 days into dating) but...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 19, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    So, a few days ago I was at work, and I met a girl who I instantly became friends with. Work was so slow, we talked for hours. She's a really nice person. And then, I see on her...
    sugarcakes143 sugarcakes143 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I have commitment phobia, it hurts so much I don't really want to talk about it. Probably the thing I want most in life is a relationship. It hurts so much, everyday pain :( . I'm...
    Xoxogossipgirlx Xoxogossipgirlx 18-21 Sep 18

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    I think I have commitment issues. I find it hard to stay with one person for any longer than 2 months. It's really annoying because I am with a really amazing guy but I can't help...
    Butterflyfairy23 Butterflyfairy23 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    What does it feel like to commit yourself to another human being? Do you have expectations of that person going into a relationship? What are you hoping to gain from that...
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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