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I Am Terrified of Commitment

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 498 People

    Am I A Commitphobe?

    I have been noticing a pattern that I have been doing for the past 10 years. I am going to be 28 and this habit hasn't improved. When a man wants me to be his girlfriend/wife I panicked big time! I did everything you could have imagined to sabotage the friendship that was on...
    iLightBeing iLightBeing 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Long story short gave my last relationship

    everything I was used and then dumped.it took me two years to get over it.Ive dated but never went further. I've been seeing someone for just over a month I like him a lot but he said he's falling for me.I told him basically what I wrote here I don't know what to do
    Confused848 Confused848 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2014

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    I think I am. I'm great in relationships I

    never cheat i am all in it! But when my boyfriend starts talking about. The future I get a little freaked out and then I start to push away. I don't really mean to but I just get scared of the idea of getting married and starting lives together. WhAts wrong with me?
    jkaw jkaw 18-21, F 1 Response May 30, 2014

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    Dating someone for the first time is scary

    and knowing that one of your guy friends likes you is even scarier! I've been friends with (let's call him Tim) Tim since freshman year and now (junior) and his best friend has been asking me if I like Tim then later changed the question to "Would you date him." I responded "I'm...
    RedCatHunting RedCatHunting 16-17, F Mar 2, 2014

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    I need advice! I'm terrified of getting

    seriously involved with anyone and I think it's holding me back from true happiness. I think it stems from the fact that I have an abject fear of failure: I'm too afraid to really let someone in to my heart because I go in expecting the worst, and know I would be crushed if it...
    headversusheart headversusheart 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 29, 2014

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    I Am a Serious Relationship Ad...

    I am a serious relationship addict.  It has almost always been my number one goal to see how serious a relationship could get.  I've never been scared of the idea of permenance.  In fact, I prefer it.  There's a certain comfort in it. 
    theophania theophania 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 11, 2007

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    It's not even just in a relationship.

    Even with plans with friends or family- I don't want to commit to anything because what if something else comes up that I want to do? I've been 100% faithful in a couple relationships if I'm being completely honest with myself, but I have screwed someone over at least one time...
    KJPKelsey KJPKelsey 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    I've dated SOOO MANYY people,

    but after I a while I always realize that I don't like then all that much. I'm always the one to break up with them, and it hurts, but it's nearly impossible for me to stay committed. I guess i'm stay waiting for that one person
    freshy15 freshy15 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 28, 2014

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    Commitaphobic

    I think a lot of people who don't suffer from this don't get how trapped you feel at the slightest hint of a commitment or relationship. Even when I really like someone, am both attracted to their looks and their personality, soon as they try to get close, anywhere near serious...
    PoisonedOak PoisonedOak 18-21, F 11 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    Sick Of The Fear

    I am so sick of my fear of commitment.  It consumes every aspect of my life now.  I used to be open to change to some extent, but lately I just can't commit to anything.  I'm always thinking way to far ahead.  I ran away from a marriage proposal...not that...
    Jennifurby Jennifurby 41-45 4 Responses Feb 23, 2010

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    I'm Not Sure Why

    I'm not sure why But it's always been a part of my life.  I never let someone get too close to my heart.  It's typically 3 years when I finally feel Settled in a relationship and then I run.  I never let anyone get too close to my heart. But it's always been...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 5 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    I never really thought about it

    but it's true. I actively avoid getting romantically involved with guys. And it's not that I don't get lonely, I do, it's just I'm afraid of all the responsibilities and work that come along with relationships like that. (Mostly the sexual aspects.....I'm a people pleaser...
    PinkMellow PinkMellow 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 8, 2014

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    I was scared of commitment,

    I'd shake and all sorts when it came up, getting close to someone was hard enough! Let alone being open with them, however, I fell in love, we've got a gorgeous baby girl, he said he wanted to get married, and then yesterday he dumped me as he's scared and thinks we may argue...
    BritishK BritishK 18-21, F Feb 8, 2014

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    What the Hell Is Wrong With Me?

    I'm scared of love, commitment, people near to me... everything. I can't sleep next to my girlfriend without having a panic attack (yeah, I really got one while I was lying next to her, it was horrible, I felt SO bad). Now I met a man whom I'm really smitten on and who likes me...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 2 Responses May 8, 2007

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    He Always End Up Feeling Obligated

    I feel like my ex boyfriend is afraid of commitment. When we were going out we had this great relationship it's like we had knew each other our whole life. Anyways we ended up breaking up for no reason then he came back to me but left again. Recently he has came back and opened...
    nayelyyy nayelyyy 18-21, F Oct 14, 2013

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    I Need My Space!

    My friend and I had this big huge plan and I liked it, but I began to feel trapped in this plan, now I am out and I feel better but I wish I didn't let her down. I had a boyfriend and when he told me he loved me I pushed him away (mostly because it was 2 days into dating) but...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 19, 2013

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    Commitment Is A Responsibility...

    Commitment is a responsibility that I would proudly take on...
    cookies cookies 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 26, 2006

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    I know where it started.

    It started with my last break up. Long story short - I put all of myself into it. And what I got was, "I need to find myself." What does that mean anyway? Well, she found herself... having someone else's baby. So anyway, I got over all that. Moved on, explored, achieved...
    NewShoes12 NewShoes12 26-30, M Jun 22, 2014

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    Fear of Commitment Is Ruining My Life

    i am afraid of Commitment. I mean, panic-attack afraid. Sweaty, stomach-churning, legs cramping, sleep deprived afraid. terrified. I once managed to get engaged to a girl I loved, but less than 5 days after, i experienced a panic attack. I kept my fears to myself, dismissed...
    kingsteve72 kingsteve72 36-40 3 Responses Jul 23, 2009

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    I want to get married,

    have kids and Dave myself for marriage but my commitment phobia and crazed flirting says other wise.
    crazyandclever crazyandclever 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2014

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    It Isn`T Safe... For Anyone

    Commitment. The first word that come to my mind when I hear that word, is relationships. In a relationship there is two people. Therefore, to have commitment in a relationship, it takes both of the partners. Not just one, both. Honestly, i don`t see it a lot in relationships...
    Smartypants5 Smartypants5 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 27, 2013

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    =(

    I have been in a relationship for 7 years, faithfully. So I guess I already am commited.  But part of me is terrified of moving further in the relationship, and I feel absolutely awful about it.  My boyfriend gets so sad (understandably) when he bring up moving to a new...
    outoftheshadows outoftheshadows 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 10, 2008

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    I connect to people so easily

    and when I lose then I get depressed and feel so bad. So I'm afraid to connect and stay away from people. It's bad in both two ways. What should I do
    lisa1996 lisa1996 18-21, F 1 Response May 29, 2014

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    I've Never Been Close To Having A Relationship

     I am to blame for not being in a relationship though, I secretly think I don't want to be in one. Every time someone attempts to get close to me  close up and ignore them. I met this wonderful guy, everything I'd ever wanted, but not when I wanted it. He was older...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 2, 2010

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    Urges to Run

    For me relationships look like something I'd want but once I get into one the urges begin. During the first couple of months everything seems fine. I find out as much info about the guy as possible but I don't let him know too much about me. I don't want guys to get too close to...
    awesomerz awesomerz 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2009

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    Not For Me

    i dont think i will ever commit to anything, just myself because i am so afraid of being hurt, i will never marry or have children. Its just not for me
    Donalh Donalh 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 5, 2008

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    Once again my fear of commitment wins.

    I'm terrified of being in a relationship or marriage without that "in love" feeling. I'm terrified of being with someone who used to try hard and then slowly doesn't do the "cute" things he used to do. No idea how to get over this fear. Anxiety blows.
    KJPKelsey KJPKelsey 18-21, F Apr 20

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    I hate having to be committed!

    That's why I don't like relationships. It's all just for fun now and later I can think about marriage and what not(:
    sexysammy468 sexysammy468 18-21, F Feb 18, 2014

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    So Afraid of commitment,

    I sabbotage myself by having relations only with people I dont belong with
    LdMtl LdMtl 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    dalidacc11 dalidacc11 26-30, F Apr 21

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    I don't know why but not

    until last year I find out that I don't do commitments I don't do bestfriend, but I still have friends, I distance myself in instance when there is someone who claimed herself as my bestfriend when I don't think so I don't really date, I just want to find a boy I really...
    ariettaxsydney ariettaxsydney 18-21, F 2 Responses May 11

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    I was with a guy for 6 years.

    it ended badly. he was the love of my life. i thought we were gonna get married, but i guess not.
    Ang012685 Ang012685 26-30, F Apr 21

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    I Like Being Me, Not Us.

    I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I think I have something like a boyfriend… I’m not exactly sure. I thought we were just casually hanging out, but last Saturday he was so offended I made plans for myself without him, that it came to my mind that he obviously thinks that...
    angel1que angel1que 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2011

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    I'm So Young But Scared Of Commitment

    Even when I'm playing an online game I like, I can't even commitment even though its only a game! Even when in real life I actually like a guy, I'll lie about it without even meaning to. I'm still young and that's what scares me, what if i never get over my fear of commitment?
    mysteryteen mysteryteen 18-21, F Nov 3, 2011

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    One Person FOREVER. You have to trust

    that they will heal the hurt and not stab the wounds . You have to learn their lies and still believe them when they say they love you . It's too much.
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 21

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    I don't know if I am a great case of commitment

    phobia but I have had my share of bad relationships. They weren't really relationships though as I never connected emotionally. Even though I've never had any serious relations, I have never been single in the strict sense. I kept jumping from one guy to another and always...
    naayaray naayaray 18-21, F Nov 19, 2014

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    Every time I hear the word forever

    and myself put in the same sentence, raises the hair at the back of my neck, as if alerting me to RUN! Dont know why, but it has been always a part of me.
    hateme92 hateme92 18-21, F Jan 26, 2014

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    I don't know when this fear started,

    I can't remember always feeling this way. And on assumption most would say I was over committed. I'm married, separated, was engaged again last year and have a child, and have been in several relationships since. And I'm only 22! I'm not trying to ruin people's lives or my own...
    Roundabouts Roundabouts 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2014

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    I see a lot of these posts in this group

    as being from young people. We all need ample opportunity to have some commitments in our lives... whatever they may be. We need to go for what we want (I'm one to talk, yeah right)... we have to overcome this... we need to read, listen, talk, and anything else... but get us...
    AlwaysPersevere71 AlwaysPersevere71 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 10

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    It struck me like a bolt of lightning.

    I've never "gone all in" in a relationship. Always felt trapped, always sought a way out. I stayed in my last relationship despite this only because whenever I wanted to give up she wouldn't. Lord help me. I have full faith that one day I'll find the right woman and become the...
    jjsdaddy86 jjsdaddy86 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    Commitment Phobe!

    I have been afraid of commitment for as long as I can remember. I am afraid of committed relationships, commitment to jobs, commitment to activities with friends, commitment to lying in someone arms. I NEED to be free. And I don't want to be this way. If I HAVE to do it, I...
    whitefether whitefether 61-65, F 1 Response Jan 7, 2011

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    He wants commitment now.

    He says he doesn't but he brought it up! I don't want a commitment. I can't handle one. I'm scared he will leave because I can't give it to him. I'm scared that I'll be unhappy or used in this commitment. The thought makes me want to puke. I can't. I'd rather end it I think...
    maggielue maggielue 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2013

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    lisa1996 lisa1996 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2014

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    Every single time they started to show signs of

    being serious, I got scared and backpedaled. Sometimes I wonder if it was because I took commitments too seriously. Or maybe I was just afraid of getting hurt.
    Felicity3110 Felicity3110 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 26, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I totally believe in commitment and monogamy. It may be an old concept in this age but I am an old fashioned woman who believes in the institution of marriage.I am not selling an...
    FallenAngelStar FallenAngelStar 31-35, F May 3

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    So I'll be honest here and just say that I dislike commitment. It's a problem that I've always wrestled with and is actually one of the reasons that makes dating hard because I...
    QuietlyLurking16 QuietlyLurking16 13-15, F 3 days ago

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