I Am Terrified of Commitment

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 512 People

    I never really thought about it

    but it's true. I actively avoid getting romantically involved with guys. And it's not that I don't get lonely, I do, it's just I'm afraid of all the responsibilities and work that come along with relationships like that. (Mostly the sexual aspects.....I'm a people pleaser...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 8, 2014

    Once again my fear of commitment wins.

    I'm terrified of being in a relationship or marriage without that "in love" feeling. I'm terrified of being with someone who used to try hard and then slowly doesn't do the "cute" things he used to do. No idea how to get over this fear. Anxiety blows.
    KJPKelsey KJPKelsey
    22-25, F
    Apr 20, 2015

    There are numerous older men in the world

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    dalidacc11 dalidacc11
    26-30, F
    Apr 21, 2015

    It's not even just in a relationship.

    Even with plans with friends or family- I don't want to commit to anything because what if something else comes up that I want to do? I've been 100% faithful in a couple relationships if I'm being completely honest with myself, but I have screwed someone over at least one time...
    KJPKelsey KJPKelsey
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 25, 2015

    Every time I hear the word forever

    and myself put in the same sentence, raises the hair at the back of my neck, as if alerting me to RUN! Dont know why, but it has been always a part of me.
    hateme92 hateme92
    18-21, F
    Jan 26, 2014

    How To Turn Six Dollars Into Six Thousand

    Dollars: I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. A little while back I was browsing through newsgroups just like you are now and came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment...
    manusundr manusundr
    46-50, M
    Aug 22, 2015

    Not For Me

    i dont think i will ever commit to anything, just myself because i am so afraid of being hurt, i will never marry or have children. Its just not for me
    Donalh Donalh
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 5, 2008

    I think I am. I'm great in relationships I

    never cheat i am all in it! But when my boyfriend starts talking about. The future I get a little freaked out and then I start to push away. I don't really mean to but I just get scared of the idea of getting married and starting lives together. WhAts wrong with me?
    jkaw jkaw
    22-25, F
    1 Response May 30, 2014

    Every single time they started to show signs of

    being serious, I got scared and backpedaled. Sometimes I wonder if it was because I took commitments too seriously. Or maybe I was just afraid of getting hurt.
    Felicity3110 Felicity3110
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2014
    LadyHeartnMind LadyHeartnMind
    31-35, F
    1 Response Sep 19, 2015

    I didn't grow up with a healthy role model of a

    committed relationship and family life. I lived with my mother and little sister and my mother's lover who was also our biological father by the way visited my mother at night. He didn't act in the father of husband role at all except to provide financial support. My mother also...
    Xadon Xadon
    22-25, M
    Sep 13, 2015

    I've Never Been Close To Having A Relationship

     I am to blame for not being in a relationship though, I secretly think I don't want to be in one. Every time someone attempts to get close to me  close up and ignore them. I met this wonderful guy, everything I'd ever wanted, but not when I wanted it. He was older...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 2, 2010

    What the Hell Is Wrong With Me?

    I'm scared of love, commitment, people near to me... everything. I can't sleep next to my girlfriend without having a panic attack (yeah, I really got one while I was lying next to her, it was horrible, I felt SO bad). Now I met a man whom I'm really smitten on and who likes me...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl
    18-21, F
    2 Responses May 8, 2007

    I hate having to be committed!

    That's why I don't like relationships. It's all just for fun now and later I can think about marriage and what not(:
    sexysammy468 sexysammy468
    22-25, F
    Feb 18, 2014

    Commitaphobic

    I think a lot of people who don't suffer from this don't get how trapped you feel at the slightest hint of a commitment or relationship. Even when I really like someone, am both attracted to their looks and their personality, soon as they try to get close, anywhere near serious...
    PoisonedOak PoisonedOak
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Sep 21, 2013

    I need advice! I'm terrified of getting

    seriously involved with anyone and I think it's holding me back from true happiness. I think it stems from the fact that I have an abject fear of failure: I'm too afraid to really let someone in to my heart because I go in expecting the worst, and know I would be crushed if it...
    headversusheart headversusheart
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 29, 2014

    Commitment Is A Responsibility...

    Commitment is a responsibility that I would proudly take on...
    cookies cookies
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Dec 26, 2006

    I'm So Young But Scared Of Commitment

    Even when I'm playing an online game I like, I can't even commitment even though its only a game! Even when in real life I actually like a guy, I'll lie about it without even meaning to. I'm still young and that's what scares me, what if i never get over my fear of commitment?
    mysteryteen mysteryteen
    18-21, F
    Nov 3, 2011

    I'll end up alone, yeah.

    And I don't even mind it.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 16

    I want to get married,

    have kids and Dave myself for marriage but my commitment phobia and crazed flirting says other wise.
    crazyandclever crazyandclever
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 10, 2014

    I connect to people so easily

    and when I lose then I get depressed and feel so bad. So I'm afraid to connect and stay away from people. It's bad in both two ways. What should I do
    lisa1996 lisa1996
    18-21, F
    May 29, 2014

    Commitment Phobe!

    I have been afraid of commitment for as long as I can remember. I am afraid of committed relationships, commitment to jobs, commitment to activities with friends, commitment to lying in someone arms. I NEED to be free. And I don't want to be this way. If I HAVE to do it, I...
    whitefether whitefether
    61-65, F
    1 Response Jan 7, 2011

    I was with a guy for 6 years.

    it ended badly. he was the love of my life. i thought we were gonna get married, but i guess not.
    Ang012685 Ang012685
    31-35, F
    Apr 21, 2015

    One Person FOREVER. You have to trust

    that they will heal the hurt and not stab the wounds . You have to learn their lies and still believe them when they say they love you . It's too much.
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 21, 2015

    I Like Being Me, Not Us.

    I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I think I have something like a boyfriend… I’m not exactly sure. I thought we were just casually hanging out, but last Saturday he was so offended I made plans for myself without him, that it came to my mind that he obviously thinks that...
    angel1que angel1que
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 15, 2011
    lisa1996 lisa1996
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 16, 2014

    I don't know when this fear started,

    I can't remember always feeling this way. And on assumption most would say I was over committed. I'm married, separated, was engaged again last year and have a child, and have been in several relationships since. And I'm only 22! I'm not trying to ruin people's lives or my own...
    Roundabouts Roundabouts
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 16, 2014

    I do not want to fear commitment.

    I really do not understand why I fear it. The word marriage sends me into panic. I love dating, but I don't think I ever want to chain myself to another person. I feel like marriage never ends well. Marriage complicates everything. You know, I bet there is a reason why Disney...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 20, 2015

    Dating someone for the first time is scary

    and knowing that one of your guy friends likes you is even scarier! I've been friends with (let's call him Tim) Tim since freshman year and now (junior) and his best friend has been asking me if I like Tim then later changed the question to "Would you date him." I responded "I'm...
    RedCatHunting RedCatHunting
    18-21, F
    Mar 2, 2014

    I Am a Serious Relationship Ad...

    I am a serious relationship addict.  It has almost always been my number one goal to see how serious a relationship could get.  I've never been scared of the idea of permenance.  In fact, I prefer it.  There's a certain comfort in it. 
    theophania theophania
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 11, 2007

    I'm Not Sure Why

    I'm not sure why But it's always been a part of my life.  I never let someone get too close to my heart.  It's typically 3 years when I finally feel Settled in a relationship and then I run.  I never let anyone get too close to my heart. But it's always been...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom
    51-55, F
    5 Responses Dec 6, 2008

    I don't know if I am a great case of commitment

    phobia but I have had my share of bad relationships. They weren't really relationships though as I never connected emotionally. Even though I've never had any serious relations, I have never been single in the strict sense. I kept jumping from one guy to another and always...
    naayaray naayaray
    18-21, F
    Nov 19, 2014

    It struck me like a bolt of lightning.

    I've never "gone all in" in a relationship. Always felt trapped, always sought a way out. I stayed in my last relationship despite this only because whenever I wanted to give up she wouldn't. Lord help me. I have full faith that one day I'll find the right woman and become the...
    jjsdaddy86 jjsdaddy86
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

    I know where it started.

    It started with my last break up. Long story short - I put all of myself into it. And what I got was, "I need to find myself." What does that mean anyway? Well, she found herself... having someone else's baby. So anyway, I got over all that. Moved on, explored, achieved...
    NewShoes12 NewShoes12
    26-30, M
    Jun 22, 2014

    I've dated SOOO MANYY people,

    but after I a while I always realize that I don't like then all that much. I'm always the one to break up with them, and it hurts, but it's nearly impossible for me to stay committed. I guess i'm stay waiting for that one person
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 28, 2014

    I see a lot of these posts in this group

    as being from young people. We all need ample opportunity to have some commitments in our lives... whatever they may be. We need to go for what we want (I'm one to talk, yeah right)... we have to overcome this... we need to read, listen, talk, and anything else... but get us...
    AlwaysPersevere71 AlwaysPersevere71
    41-45, M
    Feb 10, 2015

    Urges to Run

    For me relationships look like something I'd want but once I get into one the urges begin. During the first couple of months everything seems fine. I find out as much info about the guy as possible but I don't let him know too much about me. I don't want guys to get too close to...
    awesomerz awesomerz
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    I Need My Space!

    My friend and I had this big huge plan and I liked it, but I began to feel trapped in this plan, now I am out and I feel better but I wish I didn't let her down. I had a boyfriend and when he told me he loved me I pushed him away (mostly because it was 2 days into dating) but...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 19, 2013

    So Afraid of commitment,

    I sabbotage myself by having relations only with people I dont belong with
    LdMtl LdMtl
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

    =(

    I have been in a relationship for 7 years, faithfully. So I guess I already am commited.  But part of me is terrified of moving further in the relationship, and I feel absolutely awful about it.  My boyfriend gets so sad (understandably) when he bring up moving to a new...
    outoftheshadows outoftheshadows
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 10, 2008

    I don't know why but not

    until last year I find out that I don't do commitments I don't do bestfriend, but I still have friends, I distance myself in instance when there is someone who claimed herself as my bestfriend when I don't think so I don't really date, I just want to find a boy I really...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response May 11, 2015

    Long story short gave my last relationship

    everything I was used and then dumped.it took me two years to get over it.Ive dated but never went further. I've been seeing someone for just over a month I like him a lot but he said he's falling for me.I told him basically what I wrote here I don't know what to do
    Confused848 Confused848
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 17, 2014

    Am I A Commitphobe?

    I have been noticing a pattern that I have been doing for the past 10 years. I am going to be 28 and this habit hasn't improved. When a man wants me to be his girlfriend/wife I panicked big time! I did everything you could have imagined to sabotage the friendship that was on...
    iLightBeing iLightBeing
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 3, 2013

    I was scared of commitment,

    I'd shake and all sorts when it came up, getting close to someone was hard enough! Let alone being open with them, however, I fell in love, we've got a gorgeous baby girl, he said he wanted to get married, and then yesterday he dumped me as he's scared and thinks we may argue...
    BritishK BritishK
    22-25, F
    Feb 8, 2014
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