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I Am the Child of a Borderline Parent

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 585 People

    After christmas break,

    my mother decided to finally tell me that she wanted to "let me go" because she "just didn't enjoy spending time with me." This is after I spent a lot of time and money to see her in some outer corner of the world. When I asked her why I always come to see her and she never me...
    sideffex sideffex 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I Think My Mother Is Borderline, I Think Her Mother Was Borderline

    I always thought they were just kind of depressed, angry people. I thought everyone lived like I did.... sudden rages, screaming, hitting me, kicking me out the house, lack of nurturing, telling me too much personal information, like we were friends and I wasn't a child...
    mikamii mikamii 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    My mom was diagnosed

    as borderline years before I was born. I found out less than a year ago, I am now 28. She was not the person who told me. My brother was in the states on a surprise visit from the Peace Corps and she went through his phone and read his texts, mainly the ones between him and...
    nboyd123 nboyd123 26-30 3 Responses Jul 1, 2014

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    I Cry Silent Tears

    My mother is borderline. For the longest time, it was difficult to accept this. As i child, if i would venture off on my own there was a paranoid panic to her voice that i should "stay close". She would be loving and comforting one minute and then the next she would flip out...
    healerdw healerdw 22-25 8 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    I was a child of a very emotionally abusive BPD

    father. So many years later I still struggle with the deep residual effects. The awful reality is that you are left holding the bag after the chaotic storms of a borderline parent have left, and the world judges and punishes you for the residual effects in myriad ways... and you...
    humbom humbom 31-35, M Dec 14, 2014

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    Most recent event: My mom was going to stay at

    my place for one night on a road trip. She had her dogs with her (which she clearly loves more than me and often makes jokes about how much it hurts me). They track dirt and no matter how many times I ask her to wipe their feet before letting them into my home she never does it...
    tinklas tinklas 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2014

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    My mother has been diagnosed with BPD,

    according to my father, who was told by their therapist that she has this disorder. The more I research it, the more I realize that this is, indeed, what my mother must suffer from. However, I am trying to deal with her attacks and, being almost 30 years old and happily married...
    wylieatf wylieatf 26-30, F 3 Responses May 6, 2014

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    I am an only child of a single parent

    who is a mother with borderline personality disorder. It's been just her and I since I was 4. I'm now 32. I'm a lesbian, in love...and finding it terribly difficult to move forward with my life, (and partner). For instance, things such as moving in together, getting married...
    Coro121 Coro121 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    I've suspected that my mother was undiagnosed

    bpd for a few years now but for some reason never thought to search "bpd mother". Reading this thread has cemented what was previously a strong suspicion. My mother grew up in a nightmare environment of both sexual and emotional abuse, and I can't even begin to imagine what that...
    sg318 sg318 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2014

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    My daughter turned 13 today.

    The very first promise I made her was that I would never treat her the way my BPD mom had treated me. And I've kept it. I've always intended to protect her from that. I tried to keep a relationship with my mother over the years so that they could know each other. I won't...
    AmandainFL AmandainFL 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    I'm happy that in the last few days I

    discovered what was with my mother all this time. Today was the first time I spoke with a doctor about it, next is the physiatrist. Like most children of bpd mothers
    sabina44 sabina44 41-45, F Apr 20

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    It Was Never Me

    After 5 years in therapy for numerous problems :depression, anxiety, thinking i was crazy, relationship issues, I now know that I am ok.  The reason for my problems was because I was raised by two borderline parents.  After living through the war zone that was my child hood It...
    lifebeginsat33 lifebeginsat33 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 3, 2011

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    It's More Painful To Remember Than To Forget...

    I am currently a 25 year old Psychology major in college. And it took me until recently to discover why my childhood was so painful and why I feel the need to punish myself even into adulthood. My mother's emotional roller-coaster seems to revolve around the men in her life...
    katriana katriana 22-25 8 Responses May 3, 2011

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    Difficult Subject

    WARNING: What follows is possibly more than you would ever care to know about my life story (although it is only a fraction of what has shaped who I am today). It might be a little depressing and it might make you feel a little uncomfortable (I always feel a little uncomfortable...
    NaomiZero NaomiZero 26-30, F 26 Responses Apr 15, 2009

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    My Insane Life With My Single, Bdp Mother

    I am a 32 year old child of a borderline mother....it has taken a brilliant therapist to diagnose her without any contact with her...she is a direct result of my depression, anxiety, and past self-destructive behavior...I am currently reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother...
    ilovestaplers ilovestaplers 31-35 17 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    I have no idea where to

    even start. My mom has Borderline Personality Disorder (she has been diagnosed) and her mental health has reeked havoc on my entire life. I suffered years of emotional and physical abuse. Of course, no one believed me as a child because she comes across as mother of the year...
    urbancowgrl7152 urbancowgrl7152 26-30 3 Responses Jan 21

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    A prison of pain and emotional rape,

    isolation, betrayal, fear, hopelessness, OVERWHELMING WEIGHT to meet others needs when I was emotionally and mentally bankrupt, invisible, mute, suffocating, feeling buried alive, an object of scorn, teased and bullied by the only ones I had to look to for nurture, support...
    poeticxpression poeticxpression 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    I am 37 years old. I found this board

    because I had to get some things off my chest about my mom. I downloaded the app and then had to hide it in case I ever leave my phone in her presence and she clicks on the app and sees what I post. Even my phone is not private with a bpd. It is sad at my age I panic if I leave...
    poeticxpression poeticxpression 31-35, F Mar 7

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    Saving My Daughter

    It's the hardest thing in the world, fighting the authorities to save your daughter from what I recently found out borderline disorder. I have read your stories and wish I could have saved you all but in saying that it took two years of hell and over a hundred thousand dollars to...
    Survivordad Survivordad 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 22, 2013

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    I just wanted to share with all of you two songs

    that have had an impact me. I feel that they really relate to being a child of a borderline parent. Even if that was not what the song was intentionally wrote about. The lyrics have always stuck with me and I have always been able to relate to them. If you know of anymore...
    estrellados estrellados 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    Healing Requires Grieving

    For years, I grieved my father, or rather, not having a "daddy". Finally one day I realized that i didn't miss him, but the idea of him, the role he didn't fulfill, the hopes and dreams of a little girl who wanted a daddy. It was easier after that. I am learning to not to...
    mikamii mikamii 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2012

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    It just sucks and it never gets better.

    The best I can do is placate and try to pacify, but it is so wearing. You can't even begin to suggest that she seek help because everything in her world is fine, it's everyone else who has the problem. Technically, she's right, with the only caveat being that she's the reason...
    loresmom loresmom 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 18

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    Hey everyone, I think a lot of you might enjoy

    this. It's my personal way of trying to understand who I am considering I was never allowed that growing up, so please check it out for me! Thanks www.ajourneyblogged.wordpress.com
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    I haven't really got any solutions

    for this issue. But I did have a small measure of triumph. For years, I didn't know what my moms issue was until I saw a therapist who explained what I was dealing with. After doing a little reading, I found out that borderlines have a hard time seeking help because they don't...
    Emojinoid Emojinoid 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    Mixed Feelings: Emotional Terrorist Or Affectionate Perfectionist?

    Mixed feelings ... that would be an understatement! My mom was valedictorian of her high school class of 900. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA. She was class president. She was blonde, blue-eyed and smoking-hot gorgeous (Dad said 'everyone else's girlfriend in college was a 9, but...
    bethemusic bethemusic 26-30 4 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I Thought My Story Would End When She Passed Away.

    I am 59 and my BP Mom passed away about 4 years ago. I had been to therapy prior to her death. That was a great help. Unfortunately it has been a little tough kind of rewireing myself without her and that constant pain and stress. When the struggle is over, the reallity of what...
    bnewbrand bnewbrand 56-60 2 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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    I am thoroughly confused most days in dealing

    with my mom. Am I causing all the strife her attitude my upset or is she really BPD? My brother is and has always been the good one and to such a degree that he feels guilty if he doesn't see her weekly and help her our financially. There have been several times he haden't heard...
    Cwm6 Cwm6 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 25, 2014

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    I recently decided it was time to do something,

    anything about the toxic relationship between my mother and I. As others have written on this site, it is both empowering and validating to know that other people have had similar experiences with one of their parents. Growing up I believed that I had normal parents who provided...
    BradyG15 BradyG15 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    So it seems that BPD fathers are much less

    common than BPD mothers. But that's what I've got. My father is undiagnosed, but I have a hard time seeing all of these stories and doing all this research without conceding that he must be borderline, narcissistic, or both. He's the type of person who is a dream to be with one...
    ipodfreek ipodfreek 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 12, 2014

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    I am 35 years old and my mother suffers from

    undiagnosed BPD. I have devoted so much of my life trying to get her to see me and love me. She has rejected me every step of the way. Growing up I walked on egg shells because I didn't know when she would explode and start berating and belittling me. When she wasn't raging...
    Sunshine127 Sunshine127 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    My Borderline Experience With My Mother

    Well, today i am 18. Only by happenstance did i come across sites and such because i felt so down and wrong that i was looking for help. The more i read the more i became shocked. what i was reading could have easily come from the pages of my life. And that was about half and...
    AdamsKeyblade AdamsKeyblade 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 19, 2009

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    My mom was a Borderline Parent.

    This is my most vivid memory of her borderline personality showing: I was about 5 years old at the time. My mother was taking me to the drug store to see if they had any cheap food for us to bring home. All of a sudden, I tripped over a crack in the road and fell down. It wasn't...
    GermanWildChild GermanWildChild 13-15, F 2 Responses May 29, 2014

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    I Survived... Kinda

    I survived. Not by much but I did. I had no idea that what she was, was anything but pure Evil. The sad reality is most people don’t know what they are or that they exist. The general public is unaware that Borderline mothers are just as dangerous as serial killers...
    MaryannCiav MaryannCiav 26-30 18 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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    A Painful Story

    I wrote this, originally, for my blog but since that is under my real name and is connected with my professional work, I will post my story here instead. It is by no means complete, but I tried to write all that I could. I was an abused child; my mother's and grandmother's...
    annakarenina28 annakarenina28 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2012

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    Overcoming A Bpd Parent & Deciding I Deserved Happiness

    I was 7 the first time I tried to kill myself. My mother was at work and the other adults in the house were taking a nap. I quietly crept into the kitchen and rummaged through the knife drawer until I found a sharp knife longer than my wrist. I remember staring at the knife and...
    Anonymous216 Anonymous216 26-30 2 Responses Oct 30, 2012

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    19 Year Old: Learning That My Mother Had Bpd Freed Me Emotionally.

    My mother had me when she was young, 16 to be exact. I never knew my father because she left him when I was a baby. I have repressed many memories from my childhood (like many children of BPD parents have) but I always felt it was my fault. I had ADHD so I always figured that I...
    youllneverknowyouwereright youllneverknowyouwereright 18-21 12 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    I'm 21 years old, and this is probably the

    first time I've really let myself believe that what I have experienced is not something I brought upon myself. For so long I've felt so distressed in who I am as a person, feeling like there is something 'wrong' with me, that I don't fit anywhere, I cant relate to other people...
    mjh92 mjh92 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    God Rest Her Soul

    My mother and her mother dont speak, she jokingly refers to her mother as "god rest her soul" a title which i am now passing along to her, if this was a happy story, you wouldn't be reading it here. My mother was never officially diagnosed, but I have had two different therapists...
    Naplesnurse Naplesnurse 22-25 8 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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    Ok so my mom is crazy what do I do?

    I think she's borderline? #1 she stalks me on the internet but does it in a manipulative way. She makes fake profiles to search me rather than just be herself and friend me. She searches my email, name, address to find profiles and blogs. I know these things because she will...
    bananaexpress bananaexpress 26-30, F 2 Responses May 6, 2014

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    I've recently been seeing a new therapist to

    help "manage" my borderline mom and siblings. According to him I need to change my own beliefs about their behavior (no changing theirs) in order to be less affected by their hostile actions towards me. This I try, but a person would have to be a zen master to live in this...
    lostmarbles lostmarbles 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    My mother is diagnosed with BPD.

    I've kinda known for several years, however her alcoholism was taking the blame for all of her verbal berating & the time, 2 years ago, when she physically hit me (because I refused to go buy her more alcohol), knocking me to the floor while on vacation & then left & called the...
    AmandainFL AmandainFL 36-40, F Jan 13

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    Learning To Live Again

    I am one of 4 children. I have 2 younger brothers and 1 older sister. My father passed away from brain cancer a little over 2 years ago and my BPD mother is now remarried. Where to begin. I thought my family was normal. I know that my parents tried hard not to repeat the same...
    nurseanda nurseanda 26-30, F Jun 8, 2013

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    Finally Seeking Help

    I am a beautiful, good-hearted, compassionate and empathic person. I am an educated professional. I have many friends and several close friends. But I am plagued by low self-esteem, insecurity, thought distortions and negativity, anger and sometimes even impetuous episodes of...
    evelina123 evelina123 31-35, F 3 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Hi there Dont know where to start- Im 31 years

    old now and a mother of two girls born 2011&2013. My mum is still undiagnosed but my therapist is sure that she has Boarderline Syndrome. Im the oldest of two daughters my sister is 10 years younger and I left Home with 16 into a house of the youth welfare service. With 18 I had...
    girlsmommy girlsmommy 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 22, 2014

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    I LET CRAZY JUST WALK INTO MY LIFE!

    Hello, I am new to this site and like everyone else, I am simply in awe at the similarity in these experiences with a borderline mother. I have been encouraged, inspired, and just saddened when reading some of the posts. Most of all, I have found validation that it's not me...
    B1961 B1961 51-55, F Oct 27, 2014

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    Sorry, but this is going to be long.

    . I want to know what anyone else thinks. I have read many of your stories, and to be honest, I feel extremely fortunate. My husband (a mental health RN) and I both feel that my mother has some borderline tendencies, but these didn't really emerge (that I noticed, but who knows...
    brokenbutlucky brokenbutlucky 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 22, 2014