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I Am the Child of a Borderline Parent

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 496 People

    I just wanted to share with all of you two songs

    that have had an impact me. I feel that they really relate to being a child of a borderline parent. Even if that was not what the song was intentionally wrote about. The lyrics have always stuck with me and I have always been able to relate to them. If you know of anymore...
    estrellados estrellados 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 17

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    My mom was diagnosed

    as borderline years before I was born. I found out less than a year ago, I am now 28. She was not the person who told me. My brother was in the states on a surprise visit from the Peace Corps and she went through his phone and read his texts, mainly the ones between him and...
    nboyd123 nboyd123 26-30 2 Responses Jul 1

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    I am a child of a borderline mother

    and I am so happy to have met you all. I am now 27 years old and have just recently started researching bpd after a friend of the family profusely apologized to my brother, sister and I and suggested that I read up on BPD because she believed that my mother had the disorder...
    estrellados estrellados 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Saving My Daughter

    It's the hardest thing in the world, fighting the authorities to save your daughter from what I recently found out borderline disorder. I have read your stories and wish I could have saved you all but in saying that it took two years of hell and over a hundred thousand dollars to...
    Survivordad Survivordad 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 22, 2013

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    A Painful Story

    I wrote this, originally, for my blog but since that is under my real name and is connected with my professional work, I will post my story here instead. It is by no means complete, but I tried to write all that I could. I was an abused child; my mother's and grandmother's...
    annakarenina28 annakarenina28 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2012

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    Hi all! It's been a while.

    .. Too long actually. As some of you may know my history & feelings about BPD/my BPD mother from my last post I found myself being pulled to the, dare I say "dark side" this morning. I suppose before I start I should fill you in. As I was free from the drama and games of my...
    MaryannCiav MaryannCiav 26-30 3 Responses Jan 19

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    Now 48 and on the eve of my mother's 75th

    birthday, after a week of volatile family strife, I can now definitively say that I am the child of a borderline parent. I dabbled in the issue a few years back, but I think I was too caught up in understanding my own depression (now conquered for the most part) to absorb this...
    AmySF415 AmySF415 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    My Mother Has Made My Life Hell.

    Posted by MeOct 23rd, 2013 at 10:24AM There's so much to say... My morning started off with my mother coming back to her house and getting upset at me for brushing my child's teeth. My mother has custody of my three year old son due to her lies and charades in the courtroom...
    Crashsolar Crashsolar 22-25 Oct 23, 2013

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    How Do You Cope, As An Adult Child Of A Bpd Mother?

    A couple months ago I was given a copy of the book Understanding the Borderline Mother, which I'm sure many of you here are familiar with (and if you're not I would recommend it). I was absolutely blown away by this book. So much of it hit so closely to home. After all these...
    llrrcc llrrcc 26-30, F 16 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Most recent event: My mom was going to stay at

    my place for one night on a road trip. She had her dogs with her (which she clearly loves more than me and often makes jokes about how much it hurts me). They track dirt and no matter how many times I ask her to wipe their feet before letting them into my home she never does it...
    tinklas tinklas 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    I don't speak to Rosi,

    the woman who birthed me. I would call her Mom or even Mother, if she qualified for either title. The woman who was to have been my Mom, died in her early childhood from abuse, adoption, and of course BPD. The shell of a human left over is Rosi, a black hole of neediness, and...
    MarcyBrawner MarcyBrawner 36-40, F 2 days ago

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    My mom was a Borderline Parent.

    This is my most vivid memory of her borderline personality showing: I was about 5 years old at the time. My mother was taking me to the drug store to see if they had any cheap food for us to bring home. All of a sudden, I tripped over a crack in the road and fell down. It wasn't...
    GermanWildChild GermanWildChild 13-15, F 3 Responses May 29

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    I've recently been seeing a new therapist to

    help "manage" my borderline mom and siblings. According to him I need to change my own beliefs about their behavior (no changing theirs) in order to be less affected by their hostile actions towards me. This I try, but a person would have to be a zen master to live in this...
    lostmarbles lostmarbles 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    Sorry, but this is going to be long.

    . I want to know what anyone else thinks. I have read many of your stories, and to be honest, I feel extremely fortunate. My husband (a mental health RN) and I both feel that my mother has some borderline tendencies, but these didn't really emerge (that I noticed, but who knows...
    brokenbutlucky brokenbutlucky 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 22

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    I Thought My Story Would End When She Passed Away.

    I am 59 and my BP Mom passed away about 4 years ago. I had been to therapy prior to her death. That was a great help. Unfortunately it has been a little tough kind of rewireing myself without her and that constant pain and stress. When the struggle is over, the reallity of what...
    bnewbrand bnewbrand 56-60 2 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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    Hi there Dont know where to start- Im 31 years

    old now and a mother of two girls born 2011&2013. My mum is still undiagnosed but my therapist is sure that she has Boarderline Syndrome. Im the oldest of two daughters my sister is 10 years younger and I left Home with 16 into a house of the youth welfare service. With 18 I had...
    girlsmommy girlsmommy 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    My Mother Is Toxic.

    I grew up fighting with her, slamming doors, writing in my diary that she is crazy and I hated her. Cried myself to sleep most nights and felt trapped in a horrible place where I was always blamed for things and insulted for no reason. Now that I am 20, I am beginning to realise...
    Rainydays293 Rainydays293 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 9, 2012

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    I Survived... Kinda

    I survived. Not by much but I did. I had no idea that what she was, was anything but pure Evil. The sad reality is most people don’t know what they are or that they exist. The general public is unaware that Borderline mothers are just as dangerous as serial killers...
    MaryannCiav MaryannCiav 26-30 15 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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    Question For Adults With A Borderline Mother

    I'm 38 now. My relationship with my mother has improved greatly since I was a child -- or has it?!! Sometimes I can't tell. I thought everything was fine and recently I caught her deliberately pushing my buttons -- she does this in a way that you can't detect at first but when...
    ohmygooseness ohmygooseness 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    Question

    I am a child of a borderline parent... does anyone ever question if we married a person or surround ourselves with people like our controlling parent? Since it is all I know how can you tell?   Are we just continuing the cycle
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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    A Broken Household

    First off, I'd just like to say how grateful I am to have found this site. It is incredibly comforting to be able to read about similar experiences and have the opportunity to be able to share my story. I have been working on finding ways to be able to open up to others about my...
    perfectlynotperfect perfectlynotperfect 18-21 7 Responses Mar 4, 2013

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    My mother has been diagnosed with BPD,

    according to my father, who was told by their therapist that she has this disorder. The more I research it, the more I realize that this is, indeed, what my mother must suffer from. However, I am trying to deal with her attacks and, being almost 30 years old and happily married...
    wylieatf wylieatf 26-30, F 2 Responses May 6

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    Part V~last In Bpd Series~common Issues

    To close my Borderline Personality Disorder Series, I wanted to review some common traits and terms relating to BPD. I hope the series was informative and helpful. Some of the information below comes from two books that I highly recommend which are Stop Walking on Eggshells...
    ClinicallyClueless ClinicallyClueless 41-45, F Aug 19, 2008

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    It's More Painful To Remember Than To Forget...

    I am currently a 25 year old Psychology major in college. And it took me until recently to discover why my childhood was so painful and why I feel the need to punish myself even into adulthood. My mother's emotional roller-coaster seems to revolve around the men in her life...
    katriana katriana 22-25 8 Responses May 3, 2011

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    I Think My Mother Is Borderline, I Think Her Mother Was Borderline

    I always thought they were just kind of depressed, angry people. I thought everyone lived like I did.... sudden rages, screaming, hitting me, kicking me out the house, lack of nurturing, telling me too much personal information, like we were friends and I wasn't a child...
    mikamii mikamii 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    Everything HAS To Be About Her!

    Hi, I'm new to this scene, but I've found it extremely helpful in identifying the craziness. I am the daughter of a borderline, & I knew from a very young age that something was wrong within this relationship. I have been verbally, physically, and emotionally abused for as...
    chiefprincess2 chiefprincess2 31-35 3 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    Everything Old Is New Again

    Ahhhh mama drama! I had been so exhausted with it, and the anger has dissipated for the most part. I'd been trying to respectfully keep my distance, texting to check in, keeping it light. At first, it was the love bombs "I'm so proud of you." Et. Al, but I knew that wouldn't last...
    Naplesnurse Naplesnurse 22-25 2 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    Mixed Feelings: Emotional Terrorist Or Affectionate Perfectionist?

    Mixed feelings ... that would be an understatement! My mom was valedictorian of her high school class of 900. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA. She was class president. She was blonde, blue-eyed and smoking-hot gorgeous (Dad said 'everyone else's girlfriend in college was a 9, but...
    bethemusic bethemusic 26-30 4 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I Cry Silent Tears

    My mother is borderline. For the longest time, it was difficult to accept this. As i child, if i would venture off on my own there was a paranoid panic to her voice that i should "stay close". She would be loving and comforting one minute and then the next she would flip out...
    healerdw healerdw 22-25 7 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    I have gone through various cycles during my

    adulthood- hate, forgiveness, anger, indifference- all these emotions are geared towards my mom. I have cut her out of my life several times, only to reaccept her when guilt weakens my resolve. "What kind of terrible person would disown their mother?"...this is what everyone...
    DACastle DACastle 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 19

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    Healing Requires Grieving

    For years, I grieved my father, or rather, not having a "daddy". Finally one day I realized that i didn't miss him, but the idea of him, the role he didn't fulfill, the hopes and dreams of a little girl who wanted a daddy. It was easier after that. I am learning to not to...
    mikamii mikamii 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2012

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    Survival

    Never heard of BPD until this Feb I am 53, trying to save our 30 year marriage, our therapist put the puzzle together, I hid who I really am so very well....death of my father at age 9, mothers severe emotional and physical abuse, fear I lived in everyday with no one there to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 30, 2013

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    My Borderline Experience With My Mother

    Well, today i am 18. Only by happenstance did i come across sites and such because i felt so down and wrong that i was looking for help. The more i read the more i became shocked. what i was reading could have easily come from the pages of my life. And that was about half and...
    AdamsKeyblade AdamsKeyblade 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 19, 2009

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    An Awakening

    I am a single woman in my early thirties and I recently discovered that my mom probably has BPD or at least BPD tendencies.  I have a Psychology Degree and while I was in school I focused on Anxiety and Depression issues because I have dealt with those disorders myself. ...
    SmithGal SmithGal 31-35 5 Responses Feb 27, 2009

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    I need a bit of advice more

    than anything. And this might be long. See, recently me and my mom got into another fight (shocker) but one of my friends was there to witness the whole thing. This took place while I was on the phone and my roommate, who is my very good friend, also witnessed this. Now she...
    Junebug06 Junebug06 22-25, F 3 Responses May 30

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    Forgive and Forget Because She May Have Cancer?

    I happened to stumble upon this site while looking for information on being a child of a BPD mother. I have to say, I am honestly blown away. Thank you all for sharing your stories. I too am the child of a BPD mother. I'm 29 now, but just coming to understand how deeply it has...
    heelsorhighh2o heelsorhighh2o 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 22, 2013

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    So it seems that BPD fathers are much less

    common than BPD mothers. But that's what I've got. My father is undiagnosed, but I have a hard time seeing all of these stories and doing all this research without conceding that he must be borderline, narcissistic, or both. He's the type of person who is a dream to be with one...
    ipodfreek ipodfreek 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Disabled And Dependant

    My mom and two of my siblings are borderline. None of them are willing to get help for it. And they feed off from each other on a daily basis. Unfortunately I am disabled and very dependent on them for help day to day. I try to find ways to separate myself from them (activities...
    lostmarbles lostmarbles 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    19 Year Old: Learning That My Mother Had Bpd Freed Me Emotionally.

    My mother had me when she was young, 16 to be exact. I never knew my father because she left him when I was a baby. I have repressed many memories from my childhood (like many children of BPD parents have) but I always felt it was my fault. I had ADHD so I always figured that I...
    youllneverknowyouwereright youllneverknowyouwereright 18-21 12 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    I am thoroughly confused most days in dealing

    with my mom. Am I causing all the strife her attitude my upset or is she really BPD? My brother is and has always been the good one and to such a degree that he feels guilty if he doesn't see her weekly and help her our financially. There have been several times he haden't heard...
    Cwm6 Cwm6 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 25

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    It Was Never Me

    After 5 years in therapy for numerous problems :depression, anxiety, thinking i was crazy, relationship issues, I now know that I am ok.  The reason for my problems was because I was raised by two borderline parents.  After living through the war zone that was my child hood It...
    lifebeginsat33 lifebeginsat33 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 3, 2011

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    For the longest time I bought into the lie

    that my family was like any other. I was fed that "truth" so much by mother. But the truth is it was not, and boy when that truth hit me as an adult it nearly destroyed my life. My life is still SO NOT RIGHT. I have trouble trusting others and have been victimized by people that...
    absentmemories absentmemories 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    God Rest Her Soul

    My mother and her mother dont speak, she jokingly refers to her mother as "god rest her soul" a title which i am now passing along to her, if this was a happy story, you wouldn't be reading it here. My mother was never officially diagnosed, but I have had two different therapists...
    Naplesnurse Naplesnurse 22-25 8 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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    The Advice That Saved Me From Myself, Growing Up With A Borderline Parent

    I am not going to tell you my story about my borderline mother, and she is. I know at one point I display the same traits and I believe I would have been Borderline myself had it not been for sayings I created for myself at the age of 17 and my general strong mindedness to...
    Errwind Errwind 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2013

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    Overcoming A Bpd Parent & Deciding I Deserved Happiness

    I was 7 the first time I tried to kill myself. My mother was at work and the other adults in the house were taking a nap. I quietly crept into the kitchen and rummaged through the knife drawer until I found a sharp knife longer than my wrist. I remember staring at the knife and...
    Anonymous216 Anonymous216 26-30 2 Responses Oct 30, 2012

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    Wow... so many stories similar to mine.

    . The feeling that there is someone out there that can actually understands what it is like it is very soothing to me so I hope it is for other people too.. so here is my story: Since I was little my bigger fear was to be like my mother. I also felt guilty/bad for not wanting...
    moniva75 moniva75 36-40, F Dec 19, 2013

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    The techniques of brainwashing are simple.

    .. Isolate the victim, Expose them to inconsistent messages, mix with sleep deprivation, add some sort of abuse Get the person to doubt what they know and feel, keep them on their toes, wear them down and stir well. So what then becomes of this victim, what or how long does...
    Intuitivebynature Intuitivebynature 46-50 2 Responses Jan 3

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    Thrilled To Have Found This Group

    In middle-age now, a mother myself, my childhood so far behind me, yet i feel stuck and sad and often defeated, hopeless.  My mother died five years ago, and I feel unable to grieve because for so much of my life i'd wished her to die, feeling like that was the only way I could...
    AnnieEl AnnieEl 46-50 6 Responses Jan 12, 2012

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    Finally Seeking Help

    I am a beautiful, good-hearted, compassionate and empathic person. I am an educated professional. I have many friends and several close friends. But I am plagued by low self-esteem, insecurity, thought distortions and negativity, anger and sometimes even impetuous episodes of...
    evelina123 evelina123 31-35, F 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Trying To Move On

    Feel like I need to vent anonymously. My parents no longer talk to me and I'm having a very difficult time accepting this. As far back as childhood i have had issues with my mother. She has always been dysfunctional. As a kid, she hit me, attacked me, broke a broom stick over...
    LookinUp302 LookinUp302 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Run. Don't Walk

    I'm the oldest of 4 children...born to parents who've stayed married 45 years now. Our story just gets pooh-poohed by people who only hear bits and pieces...so I was surprised and sad to find other people who've "been there"...I thought the rest of the world thought this was no...
    cutloosenow cutloosenow 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 2, 2011

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    My Insane Life With My Single, Bdp Mother

    I am a 32 year old child of a borderline mother....it has taken a brilliant therapist to diagnose her without any contact with her...she is a direct result of my depression, anxiety, and past self-destructive behavior...I am currently reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother...
    ilovestaplers ilovestaplers 31-35 17 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    Learning To Live Again

    I am one of 4 children. I have 2 younger brothers and 1 older sister. My father passed away from brain cancer a little over 2 years ago and my BPD mother is now remarried. Where to begin. I thought my family was normal. I know that my parents tried hard not to repeat the same...
    nurseanda nurseanda 26-30, F Jun 8, 2013

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