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I Am the Family Scapegoat

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 509 People

    Just Discovered The Truth I Was/am Family Scapegoat. - i have been homeless for the last eight months. in April 2012 i was invited by my 24 year old son to move west to live with...
    mitchiefourtwenty mitchiefourtwenty 41-45 1 Response Jan 4, 2013

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    A Question For Scapegoats. - How many of you would describe the people in your families who scapegoat you as being racist,  prejudiced or discriminatory? I would have a hard time...
    nplnsolo nplnsolo 36-40, M 9 Responses May 27, 2011

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    Scapegoat Hell - I was born the youngest of two children, both female, to two alcoholic parents.  My mother died from alcoholism at age 50 and my father died at 62.  My older...
    Lucinda43 Lucinda43 61-65, F 4 Responses Jul 4, 2010

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    Am I A Scapegoat? -     I hate that I can’t tell if everything is all just in my head and I am just crazy....or if I have been sabotaged all of my life by...
    middleone middleone 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2010

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    I Can Do Nothing Right In My Family - I hate feeling afraid or anxious all the time. I am the family scapegoat but also the peace-keeper. I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother...
    scapegoat scapegoat 36-40 8 Responses May 8, 2008

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    Refusing To Be A Victim - It all started when I was merely a tot and it's taken until the age of 31 to understand the sad reality of being the "famous" family scapegoat. ...
    wanting2bheard wanting2bheard 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Just Figured It Out! - I am a sobbing wreck.  After an entire lifetime of making horrible choices and bad decisions I am just now coming to the realization of why.  I...
    MamaAnna MamaAnna 56-60, F 2 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    I Can Relate - My story is alittle different because my parents aren't alcoholics or anything. They have good jobs and they're financially stable but emotionally, my family is...
    dce45 dce45 22-25 1 Response Nov 30, 2012

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    My Best Is Never Good Enough. - I am half Native American. I only mention this because sometimes it feels as though this is a factor when it comes to how my mother and siblings...
    Arwen2 Arwen2 36-40, F Mar 28, 2013

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    Can a Parent Be the Scapegoat? - It has taken me decades to realise what has happened to me. I write my story in the hope that others will see in it their own ...
    Bantry Bantry 56-60 7 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Find Your Seed - Golden long hair and blue eyes were the features of my older sister. My mother loved them and often told people of her child's beauty. I had hazel eyes and brown...
    melong melong 36-40, F 7 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    wow I only just found out about all this stuff - it finally explained so much about who I am and how I am. From everything I have read recently it reads like a textbook case that...
    ignoredeldest ignoredeldest 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    "Go Away Or Kill Yourself." - I'm an 18 year old, refused for diagnosis migraine patient. My parents disowned me, and unregistered me from the home. I'm basically homeless now...
    SeaDragonST SeaDragonST 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Scapegoat Is Free - This happened just last year. I am the eldest in our family and of course the first one who graduate in college and luckily I got a job in one of best company...
    MicahPinela MicahPinela 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2012

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    Just Two Words - When I was young, only about five years old, my parents divorced and little family of just mom and my older brother had to move in with my aunt, my aunt's daughter...
    JeTaimeMaCherie18 JeTaimeMaCherie18 18-21, F Mar 29, 2013

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    Philosophical Detachment - I have been scapegoated in so many different types of situations and circumstances that I've been able to develop a high degree of detachment to the...
    nplnsolo nplnsolo 36-40, M 7 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Tired Of Feeling This Way - I'm not sure where to begin or in which group to post this. I am here and writing this because for the past year and a half I have been unhappy with...
    littledoritt13 littledoritt13 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    Endless Cycle Of Abuse - They say a child first develops their outlook on the world and sense of self primarily through interactions within the family dynamics. An essential and...
    Moonjava Moonjava 26-30, F 7 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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    The Wanted Child. - Yes, actually wanted with a capital W. (btw, English is not my native language, so forgive me for any mistakes you might find). So nearly 20 years ago I was...
    Solomeya Solomeya 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 17, 2013

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    I Don't Belong... - I am 30 and the middle child of my family. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I was a very spunky child, and when something didn't seem right I was...
    KateriLee KateriLee 26-30 8 Responses Oct 4, 2012

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    I Feel Depressed and Anxious - My family treats me like ****, specially my mother, but they all sing the same song. I feel desperate and lonely. She manipulates aunt and...
    havana25 havana25 26-30 6 Responses Nov 23, 2008

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    Small Amount Of Hatred From A Sister I Love Dearly - It was a sunny afternoon, yesterday, and I was so happy until I went to see my sister Dusty at her salon. Dusty's bathroom...
    NastyZIK NastyZIK 51-55, F Dec 4, 2012

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    Finally Getting Better - I was recently laid off from a terrible job. My co-workers had bullied the previous four people in my position and it was truly terrible to be at the...
    TriciaAnne TriciaAnne 56-60 Nov 2, 2013

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    My Past Affects My Social Skills. - I am  42 year old, the 3rd child of 4. I was born and raised in France. My dad is French and mother from Central America, raised in San...
    lytimi lytimi 41-45 2 Responses May 8, 2011

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    60 And Still Learning. - Just did some reading and learned about the concept of 'family scapegoat'. As children my older sister was always Dad's favorite. My younger brother was...
    Steven1952 Steven1952 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Scapegoat Poem - My story is very long and drawn out.  But instead of my story,  I will post this poem I wrote.  I think many may be able to relate.  Also hope it encourages...
    rejectedandfree rejectedandfree 36-40, F 7 Responses May 13, 2011

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    All Of The Blame...none Of The Credit - MY STORY IS SO SIMILAR TO EVE7"S ITS UNCANNY...YOU CAN ONLY GO SO FAR AND TAKE SO MUCH FROM THOSE YOU LOVE...A LITTLE RESPECT EVERY NOW...
    LOSTLAMB3 LOSTLAMB3 41-45 4 Responses Mar 16, 2010

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    I've Been Where I'm Going - There is no need to go into a deep monologue regarding why I decided to cut off all family ties. Only that I have. I know it means that I wasted...
    1flewovercuckoonest 1flewovercuckoonest 56-60 1 Response Nov 5, 2013

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    Scapegoating Observation -  I have been the family scapegoat of years. I suffer from depression.  that aside, I've noticed something strange. my friends and family can't...
    drbonedaddy drbonedaddy 51-55 19 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    Vilify The Scapegoat - Sometimes we think we are the only ones... that it only happens to us.   That we are the only ones accused, abused, torn apart.   But we...
    claraindigo claraindigo 56-60 22 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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    They Always Blame Me! - For many years I have been the one who my family blames.  No matter what I do, I seem to be wrong and I'm excluded from family gatherings (Christmases...
    SFlyte SFlyte 61-65 10 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    I Am My Families Scapegoat. - I'm not exactly sure when it started but i have been the designated scapegoat in my family for at least 20 years. Do ALL families have scapegoats? Or...
    AlwaysRemembers AlwaysRemembers 41-45, F 45 Responses May 25, 2007

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    Black Sheep - My parents are narcissists. I am the Family scapegoat. Psychologically and physically abused. Married twice - both abusive narcissists (actually second husband was a...
    Azure33 Azure33 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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    Man Of The House - My parents divorced when I was five. I decided that since my father was gone, we would need a new "man of the house". Since there wasn't one, I would just have...
    evenme evenme 26-30, F Apr 1, 2013

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    My Turn - I'm the oldest of two and I feel as though I'm the mom. My mom acts like I'm suppose to be responsible for everything and she and my brother don't have to do anything...
    AsAlwaysAlone AsAlwaysAlone 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 20, 2013

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    Scapegoat - I don't have the obviously ****** up and abusive family. **** it man, everyone thinks they're cool. I get gaslit every time I try to legitimize my experience and I...
    BudFrancis BudFrancis 18-21 2 Responses Apr 20, 2013

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    This Familys Scapegoat, Anyway. - Everyone's money issues ultimately end up on my shoulders because I keep such a check on my money, and don't spend my money easily, except on...
    thejurg31 thejurg31 41-45, M Sep 9, 2012

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    The Fog Has Lifted - From out of the fog, I finally realize I am a scapegoat. I don't even know quite where to start, but here goes. Honestly, I think it probably started with my...
    paralleluniverse paralleluniverse 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 24, 2011

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    Fifty, And Just Realizing How Horribly I've Been Scapegoated! - I recently tried to break off with my family. I love them so much, and I so want to have a relationship with them...
    megano megano 46-50 10 Responses Dec 13, 2012

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    It took me a long time to realize what role I played in my dysfunctional family. Both my parents are narcs and each of them chose their own "golden child" and "scapegoat" so my...
    amazingyou amazingyou 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    I Have Resigned From That Position - Wow. What a relief to see all the stories in this group. Misery does love company ... lol. Not really. It is nice to know I'm not the...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 4 Responses Oct 27, 2011

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    As The Scapegoat, Im Busy Googling How I Can Speak In A Way That Wont Make People Angry - Growing up, I was the brat and crybaby. We spent a lot of time with extended family, and...
    bellybelle bellybelle 36-40 5 Responses Dec 3, 2012

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    Fooled Again - I worked for my brother, did a good job always on time and he plotted and dumped me in the street. Long story but he allowed me to store furniture in the building he...
    lambeaux lambeaux 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2013

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    It Always Stays The Same... - I, like the others in this group, have been the scapegoat of my family.  After reading all of the stories on here, I was shocked to see that there...
    EmilyP25 EmilyP25 31-35 11 Responses May 24, 2011

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    The Old "scapegoat" Copout - here is a scapegoat in every family. Unfortunately at times this was my role in the family. To be honest, I really didn't mind it because I was...
    2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

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    Being The Only Girl - I feel so uncomfortable in my house I'm always getting yelled at for the smallest things my mother treats me as if I am still a teenager it's so frustrating...
    mizzthang15 mizzthang15 22-25, F 2 Responses May 13, 2013

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    Not Easy to Escape the Scapegoating Nightmare - Hi there fellow Scapegoatees, all I can say is I'm herein' ya! I think my scapegoating started when I became depressed at age 18, I...
    lennie1 lennie1 31-35 28 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    I'm at the point where I don't know if it's better to cut all ties or try to make it work. I feel so alone. My family hates me and blames me for everything. I can't survive on my...
    username2443 username2443 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 10

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    Detachment - I was designated the family scapegoat at a very young age. I suffered bullying from my siblings and emotional abuse from my parents. I was blamed for 'bringing the...
    feelthepeace feelthepeace 41-45 7 Responses May 25, 2012

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    Woke Up And Smelled The Coffee! - Yup, it is all too true.  Despite a 6 figure income and complete loyality to my family of orgin, I am the family failure! Oh please.Anyway, I...
    Justmegettingwell Justmegettingwell 51-55 7 Responses Nov 20, 2011

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    As with the others Ive read . . . very very grateful to find this site . . . At age 68 it's just now becoming clear to me that I've spent my life as the family Scapegoat. I was...
    diane321 diane321 66-70, F 3 Responses Mar 11

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    Christmas Scapegoat - Well here it is again, another holiday as the family scapegoat.  No matter my mood, I know this for sure, I will be ignored. Christmas, and all holidays...
    crazynotcrazy crazynotcrazy 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2009

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