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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,447 People

    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 90 Responses Aug 10

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    I had a great day with him!

    We spent 10 hours together, I still am amazed that he chose to spend his W's birthday with me but I won't question what seems to be a good sign for me. I spent much of the day hugging him, kissing him, touching him. And he told me I was beautiful! Those words sounded...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    Today was a very difficult day

    for me. It has been 11 days if no contact. Fortunately, I am very busy at work because I am on vacation next week. I want so badly to hear his voice. I will not reach out to him though. I couldn't bear to hear him ever say he reconciled completely with his W or he was in love...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 7 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    I guess, it is really over over.

    Which if he wasn't done with me, i am totally done with him, but i don't think that will be an issue. He voice mailed me. I called. I know i said i wouldn't, but i did. We work in the same field and thus our paths occasionally cross. Today, my boss emails me, and i notice...
    Grace7277 Grace7277 31-35, F 2 Responses 39 mins ago

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    Is it possible for a single man to fall

    for the married woman he's sleeping with? Could he see past her cheating on her H and see her for who she is? Could he trust her to leave her H and be with him and be faithful to him?? Could he put his life on hold to wait for her to leave her H? I want to believe that it's...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 5 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Does anyone else ever feel guilty

    when it's that time of the month and they can't sleep with their MM? I know that sounds so psychotic, but a part of me gets such bad anxiety that if he can't have sex with me he will leave. This is absurd and irrational, right? I need to basically just smack myself in the face...
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 12 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Please, do not stop posting.

    ... I may not be the best person to make this request because I have only participated on the forum for just a few months. But I am so glad I had a place to go. I can not begin to tell you how supportive you ladies have been during my time of heart aches, up swings, troubles...
    saiyagyrl saiyagyrl 36-40, F 4 Responses May 26

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    If your Mm isnt contacing you whatsoever

    but will speak to people you know and tells then he will be intouch with you and said friend tells you they think you can both sort through it and you message mm asking him if you should change your relationshp back to single on something and he sees the message but never...
    truckinglady5 truckinglady5 36-40, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 14 Responses Jun 2

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 17 Responses May 4

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    Seeing him last night was absolutely prefect.

    I haven't laughed that much in weeks. I can't stop thinking about him and I have the song Mr. Roboto stuck in my head, he kept singing it to me last night just to make me laugh. I almost forgot how funny he was and why I was so attracted to him to begin with. I'm happy that I...
    Gingerishere Gingerishere 22-25, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 80 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I went on a date last night with a single guy.

    It was nice to get out and have company and I enjoyed my time with single guy. He is very attentive, a good talker, attractive and an all round nice person. The whole time I was with single guy I kept thing of MM, wishing I was sitting there with MM, walking down the street...
    JulyBug JulyBug 36-40, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 142 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    A lot of the time I only think about all the

    work and sacrifice I'm putting into this relationship, I forgot he's equally going out of his way rearranging his truck route or parking across town and walking to my house. Tonight he knew I was in town late (getting my tattoo sleeve worked on), I figured he was already home...
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 26-30, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    My MM is back from the Bahamas!

    ! I had tried an online dating site bc I had this awful feeling things were going to be over between us. I went out on a coffee date. A great reminder of why I love the man that I do!!! And my MM told me that he was in a cab to go to the Harley store, he started talking to the...
    CCBatman120 CCBatman120 26-30, F 8 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Ok do I'm new to all this

    and I'm not sure what all the abbreviations stand for....I know OW is other woman....but please tell me what all the others stand for and what they are......my guy isn't married...he's divorced but with a GF.... But I did get to see him lastnight and it was nice. I had to call...
    Cagirlie Cagirlie 36-40, F 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 40 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I love that my baby calls me on his way to work

    and on his way home everyday. We text in the evening time but I am trying to hold off and let him initiate our evening texts. I dont want to seem like I am pushing myself on him. He tells me I am overthinking.....that he loves the way I am. I want him to know I am thinking about...
    candybuck candybuck 36-40, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    sitting at my desk at work,

    sipping on a cup of coffee, holding up my tears. I am so confused, these feelings I carry inside are invading my space, my mind, my soul. Will I ever go back to normal? I cant sleep, I cant eat, I cant think straight, I have officially lost my mind. Love sucks!
    4everhislady 4everhislady 36-40, F 6 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I concentrate on all the bad stuff on here.

    I guess I'm looking for everyone to encourage some anger so I can grow the balls to walk away completely. I never tell any of you of the things he does. Firstly I'll tell u I don't get promises things and happy ever afters. It isn't like that. He's pretty honest and says its a...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 47 Responses Feb 16

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy9ajdWm.

    youtube.comThis song reminds me of so much of what everyone on this forum is dealing with.  Love this song!  
    saiyagyrl saiyagyrl 36-40, F 5 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Sometimes the storm rolls over us.

    Saw this today and thought of some of you ladies who are struggling. I'm out of here for the evening, but feel free to shoot a message if anyone needs to ;) Night xoxo
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 3 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 17 Responses Apr 29

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    I get to see my man tomorrow!

    It's been 5 days since I've seen him. We've talked everyday but it's just not the same as seeing his gorgeous face. I think it was easier when he was on vacation. At least then I new he was far away. Having him so close and not seeing him sucks!
    GenieH22 GenieH22 36-40, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    So he doesn't believe me.

    He says I do this every time it's that time of the month. He says I did the same thing last month. Now I am second guessing myself. Could it really just be hormones?
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 27

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 20 Responses May 6

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    Birthdays are the worst.

    Especially the W's. Especially since not that long ago he made my whole birthday week as lovely as possible given our circumstances so I would imagine he is making it special for her. I hate being jealous. I know I have no right to be. But I can't help it. How do you all cope...
    needfixin needfixin 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    The past couple weeks,

    I have been trying so hard to push away from him but even the simple text saying "I miss you" pulls me back to him with such great force. I figured distancing myself and not being as enthusiastic with his compliments would work but he doesn't seem to get it. I don't want to...
    Dancedancedance Dancedancedance 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I want to tell you girls about my best friend.

    He's a straight man, 45 years old. All of his friends are women. He's incredibly close to his mom and sister. He keeps tampons and chocolate in his house. I can tell him anything. He never judges, and he always gives me honest feedback. And I am feeling so lucky as I sit with...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Hmmm... maybe some reverse psychology is going

    to work with him. Used to be when he went NC for a day or two (or more!), I would always tell him that I had missed him. Today, heard from him first thing this morning, with an apology for not being around yesterday, due to "family obligations" ugh. So I just replied with...
    Katsstory Katsstory 36-40, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 70 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    On again. Off again. As I'm inching toward my

    six year anniversary, I wonder if I have a breaking point. I truly feel it coming on. Our disagreements are deeper than ever before. And I keep picking at the scabs. Yes, I have an annoying habit of asking the same question repeatedly until I get the answer my brain can fully...
    insouciant1 insouciant1 41-45, F 5 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    Day 12—I get a voicemail at work.

    “Hey olive oil, call me back at work.” He calls me that because he always used to tease me about my Italian heritage. I actually played the message back six times because I couldn’t believe he had called. I waited a couple of hours and dialed him at work. I asked him...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    He won't just let me go!

    !!! He did respond and says what I said to him is the farthest from the truth..... We discussed it more last night and I continued to let him have it..... This morning he tells me he wants us to resolve this because he doesn't like that I feel like ****. He wants to come and...
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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