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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,051 People

    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 171 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Being the other woman is probably the worst

    relationship I have had ever. This is just my point of view I read a lot of you that make it throught it all and he loves you and gives up his life for you and fullfills his promises to you. Not my case. First of all it is forbidden. He is taken since the moment you meet him...
    liberty2014 liberty2014 36-40, F 15 mins ago

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    Friends Fwb (with both) Mistress (to

    both husband & wife) Mistress (to just husband) They're relationship was doomed before they tied the knot. Right after they get hitched she begins to loose her **** bc she expected it to suddenly be a fairy tail. They use me as a buffer. He still sleeps with me. He likes me...
    BobbyBlack7589 BobbyBlack7589 22-25, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Arghhhhhh...... Having a horrible weekend!

    I am beside myself with anger, just complete blinding rage!!! When I become single again, I will be staying that way! Some people get lucky in relationships, some don't. Obviously I am the latter, I give up!!!
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 8 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 47 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Funny story to share

    for the women that feel hopeless like me... I went to get coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts and right when I was leaving the place Better in time by Leona Lewis came on the radio. I thought that was a sign from God to let me know that it will get better in time and that I will move on...
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 70 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 154 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I thought I had put up a fairly benign post

    this morning, but it sure attracted some real haters. My stand is normally to ignore these people, thinking if you don't pore gas on a fire it will burn itself out faster. But a few of the comments made really got to me this time. I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 87 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    It's all about him...

    .ALWAYS about him. All texts and pictures before Wednesday were deleted but of course, I am re-reading the texts from the past couple of days and I just realized that not once did he ask how I was doing. Nope. Not once. "I love you..I miss you..." (Yes...thank you. I love and...
    ravenofthedark ravenofthedark 41-45, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    After drinking a bit too much with my AP

    and our coworker, I started to think about how inconsistent he's been lately, and my drunk brain just got more and more annoyed with him. I sent him a message on our chat app basically just telling him I was deleting the app, and we'd still be friendly, etc. He said ok, and that...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 1 Response 41 mins ago

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    I'm going on day seven,

    fighting urge to contact him and also realization that I need to let him go. This is an awful feeling and I've tried it before but caved at first sight of him. I'm tired of feeling like I'm so last on his list and he could walk away so easily with no second thoughts. It was so...
    ayliffe ayliffe 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Almost drove to their house.

    Not sure why. I got as far as to get in my car. Then I grabbed all the critters and went to the dog park instead.
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Had a great day/night partying with family

    and friends. Just what I needed. Lots of drinking to drown my sorrows, which I never do, but it helped. I'm getting stronger and more over this situation. Mm hasn't contacted me and that's helping too. I guess I sort of wish it stays this way. There's plenty of fish in the sea...
    ilycc06 ilycc06 31-35, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 27 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Didn't check in here yesterday.

    had a night out with work. Made sure to post photos this morning as I knew I looked well. Haven't posted a photo since we split. kinda put it up for me but also a small part to show him what he is missing...... I know I shouldn't care but its difficult to break the ties from him...
    Livealifeyoulove Livealifeyoulove 36-40, F 9 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Day 1 of no contact. I need to be stronger

    this time. I've agreed to one email a month so we can keep up with what is happening in each other's lives. Does that still count as NC? I just need more from him. And I'm afraid I'll be waiting forever.
    Journeys2013 Journeys2013 41-45, F 12 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    17 reasons why ppl have an affair.

    Which one(s) are you?? http://www.alternet.org/story/87528/what_kind_of_adulterer_are_you
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    MM.. Why did you do this to me?

    You told me you would never just disappear.. Maybe you haven't . Maybe I'm just overreacting. I know you are out of the country, but why didn't you call before you left? It's been two months and no word. Did you try to stop over before you left? Did something happen? When are...
    andwhatnow andwhatnow 31-35, F 47 mins ago

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    I didn't plan it. I always thought I was above

    it. I had friends and family on all sides of an affair, I walked through the journey with them. I chewed out my friends - husbands mistress. I witnessed the pain, destruction, separation, divorce or reconciliation. I had friends that were "the other woman." Then I found myself...
    Tapeti Tapeti 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 88 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    I love getting unexpected text messages from MM.

    All he says is "thinking of you". He's going through such a rough time at home it means so much to know I'm still on his mind. I though he might need some space but he says he needs me. I'm glad to know that some how just being here for him makes things better. All the normal...
    ladylove0113 ladylove0113 36-40, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 28 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Sunday. I wasn't prudent with my time at all

    yesterday and I'm trying to walk away from the fact that I didn't do anything except essentially cry. Everything from yesterday rolled over into to today so lots of cramming for chores. I'm not ready for tomorrow. Usually I'm pretty excited because I get to see him, but I feel...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    Haven't posted in a while.

    Life just has me by the balls so to speak. My relationship is not part of all the misery, rather what keeps me trudging through with a smile on my face. I know I've missed a lot here, mainly a few new trolls with the same tired lines. Do they think they're creative? How are...
    Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1 36-40, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    It's been a week since my daughter took her

    overdose. She is doing well, and getting lots of help and support from some amazing health care professionals. MM has been giving me lots of space, no pressure, no demands, just the odd call or message to see if everything is ok. Last night, really late, he sends me this. It...
    typist123 typist123 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Today he heads back home from 8 days away with

    his friends. He's had the blow out and fun away from the drama he has left behind. It's been 8 days since he finished with her. He's stayed in contact with me loads this week, mostly all good apart from me asking him some emotional stuff half way through but he reacted well...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I will never get my answer to how someone could

    make you feel so loved for so long could lie to you and then cut you off with no explanation . I have been obsessing over this to the point of being physically sick . He hurt me more than I thought anyone could, I trusted him. He was separated, he helped me through the grieving...
    Widow68 Widow68 46-50, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    AP called me today. "Your husband is here.

    " He said. My AP teaches my child. And once in a while yes they do have to see each other. "I do not like your husband at all." AP said. "I don't hate him but I really don't need to like him. I would never associate myself with him. I just wanna be civil so I said hi." I made a...
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I'm sorry for posting

    so much. But I unload a large amount on him and while the response of "you don't have to be afraid" is kind, the rest of the emotion is probably redundant. I love him. I want nothing more than more time with him. For when I'm crying on my bathroom floor, I want him to come and...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    For those singles involved with a married

    man/woman, even those who are both married and involved in affairs, have you ever talked with your APs about not sleeping with their spouses? I read from an old posts that if an MM is still sleeping with the wife then he isn't serious with you/the other woman; although, that...
    isch71 isch71 26-30, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Its such a cold day in spring.

    ..cold just like how I'm feeling. Im trying so hard to keep myself busy yet my mind is occupied with thoughts of him. I will miss him...I miss his warmth and I know I'll always love this man with all of my heart no matter how much pain I'm feeling. But I'm not going to live a lie...
    waitingonfaith waitingonfaith 31-35 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    The walk was nice. Then decided it would be

    neat to check IG. Looks like they are/were spending happy family baby time together with another couple. So I sent him a big long text about how I just wanted him to be happy. (If I was really the one, I would be full time, not just some idea). What does "I have to do this...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I'm going to hot yoga tonight.

    I need a space that's free from him. I know it's probably my hormones and my energy but he's felt distant today (he hasn't been- texting all day...) I need to reestablish balance in my life on my own. I can't keep this cycle up. If I am being asked to stay and wait, then I need...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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