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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 10,975 People

    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 69 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Boys only want love if it's torture.

    Don't say I didn't warn ya.. Oh my god look at that face, you look like my next mistake, loves a game wanna play? So it's gonna be forever, or its gonna go down in flames.. You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain.
    Missmetomorrow Missmetomorrow 22-25, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Ugh.. Social media again.

    Talked to me ALL day long .. Him initiating. Then gooey gushy lovey with wife on social media all night. Barf. Why. It's too much. Wonder what he thinks I think.
    Missmetomorrow Missmetomorrow 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    How do you guys do it?

    How do you end it? How? I want to but I can't... It's like, impossible! Maybe I should just let it run its course... I don't know. I love him so much. But I know this can't go on forever. Which I'm ok with. But I just don't think he loves me like he says he does. I think he...
    asta20 asta20 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 162 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Upset and struggling tonight.

    Need some willpower but not sure where it comes from. Had brilliant night with the girls last night out dancing and drinking. Pretty much ignored my guy from 3pm as he said something I didn't like so I told him where to go. I wasn't that upset but used it as an excuse to be mad...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I gotta say, as much

    as I've been complaining about the holidays, I really can't wait to give my guy his present. Since the both of us are in a crappy financial place we agreed not to buy each other anything, but homemade gifts are okay. Its probably lame, but we're both huge music lovers (its one...
    SweetHeresy SweetHeresy 22-25, F 5 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    On vacation with my family

    and feeling disallusioned. I think its time to let go of my AP. He is also married and his wife was recently in the hospital. He pulled back and I feel like the truth is he will say anything to me so we can keep having sex... including love words and such. I am not sure...
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 1 Response 37 mins ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 55 Responses Nov 6

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 31 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    It's sad that you can't really put what you

    want here cause others down you for it. Wishing I had someone to talk to about things....
    dsuzy dsuzy 36-40, F 6 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    question: for those who are married

    or were married in terms of looks, humor, socio-economic class, sexual chemistry would you say mm and H are 1. similar 2. similar except...3. not alike 4. total opposite? just wondering. my H was conservative in all areas, clean cut, middle-class, financially stable, not one to...
    justinsneedow justinsneedow 41-45, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23

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    I've cried so much in the last 24 hours.

    I don't understand why this has happened? Why did our paths cross and why was my MM taken from me after he made me feel pure happiness for the short time we spent together? It's not fair. I remember everything. The last time we hugged; the last conversation we had; the last text...
    youngconfuzedteacher youngconfuzedteacher 26-30, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Trying to pull back step by step

    and much more tomorrow. We were chatting at lunch.....had to go wife came in. Ways he'll be back later. (of course that never happened). He is having a work event tomorrow and never asked me if I was going......so I wont be. Just assumes that I will show up. I have a ton...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 20 Responses Jul 30

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    The Saga Continues: So,

    he messages me Friday at 11am saying I tried to call you. I said yes I know, Ty but H was home. He questioned, both days? I said I only had calls in my call log from Thursday. He said he called Wed & Thursday in the hopes of seeing me on Friday. We made chit chat about the...
    forbidden67 forbidden67 46-50, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    Since we had that extra time to hold each other

    he's been so close to me. He said he can't stop thinking about it. Neither can I. Of all the very pleasurable times we've spent together, that one simple thing seems to be most important to both of us. For anyone who wants to condemn an affair and say he can't possibly love you...
    surfsway surfsway 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    How did I get off track

    so easily?? A few weeks ago I was done! Went back in so cautiously,,, when he said he would still have to see me he couldn't let go... I knew I wasn't strong enough to resist so I went back but built walls. For ten days I let myself feel it was over, stopped thinking we had a...
    elizabethmariejazz elizabethmariejazz 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 29 Responses Oct 23

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    He's working very hard to stay in touch.

    We never ever used to talk on the phone if we were off work. Now it seems that he is finding ways to call me on the weekends or days off in addition to texting all the time. It's always a nice surprise to hear from him.
    surfsway surfsway 36-40, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    This Is my goodbye letter to him.

    I've realized that I am far worth more than being used. And since I won't ever send this letter to him I'll send it to you guys: First of all I simply just want to thank you. Thank you for all the amazing times we had together, for all that you showed me and for genuinely...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes 22-25, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 17 Responses Sep 10

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 41 Responses Feb 24

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    Tonight will be our first full night together.

    No time constraints. No looking over our shoulders. We have a suite booked with a fireplace. Sushi & wine. I am so looking forward to 8 hours of normalcy. It is crazy we have never even eaten together. We spend our blips of time only focused on eachother. We get to talk for...
    tauriangirl tauriangirl 36-40, F 27 Responses Nov 15

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    Why does life bring this perfect match to you

    when it's impossible to have them? How is it possible to meet that one person at the most inopportune time in the world? I'm not naive and I'm well aware of what love is. I just know I was supposed to have this person in my life, it just happened at the wrong time.
    surfsway surfsway 36-40, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 208 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Stupid jerk. We had plans

    for tonight but I haven't talked to him since Thursday. So I decided to make other plans for tonight. I really hope he doesn't bother contacting me because my words will not be nice.
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 51 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 40 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 46 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Just laying here again

    for the second night in a row trying to figure out what that conversation meant last night. Only bc that's how it all started with us back in feb. I made a joke that if I ever bailed him out of jail he would owe me big time. Then he said he always pays his debt. Then we started...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    I'm not the other woman (didn't ask to be

    as he said he was single), but I enjoy reading the post as they help me with anger issues I still harbor. I'd like to know if anyone fell in love with someone (married of course), to later learn they're married. If so, how did you deal with the lie/betrayal?
    DreamGolfer DreamGolfer 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 2

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    No trolls please (read previous stories he was

    NOT married when we were together) Dammit I miss you... Everything I do... Look at Think about Dream about Somehow relates to you How did you infect everything in my life so much? I feel like I can't function like a normal person without you.. I am not the kind of...
    jupsta jupsta 36-40, F 1 hr ago

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    Yep looks like after all

    that drama I went through the last 5 months, I may actually be choosing for us. Well no technically he seems to be choosing and I'm making the final decision. I'm choosing me. As of now he is in limbo and leaning towards them. I am now telling him to keep the baby and choose...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 7 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 50 Responses Feb 16

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    Being a little emotionally sensitive

    post-intimacy is something I see many of us struggle with. I wish my MM would get it. Today he was not being intentionally insensitive, but I had to remind him that I would like contact the day after. We did see each other at work, but I had to initiate. He told me he was sorry...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 81 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Another week of very minimal to almost no

    contact with him. This is happening so much that i should start getting used to this...the end...but im still having a hard time. I told myself i wasnt gonna cry gor him anymore but i just can control it sometimes... Cried myself to sleep last night again. I woke up a couple of...
    Chicadelcaribe Chicadelcaribe 31-35, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I don't usually post stories.

    I get a lot out of reading experiences, and responding. But sometimes I feel sheepish for being a semi-lurker. So I will share my week without MM. It's a crazy time of year; everybody has more than enough on their plates, including me and MM. We had plans to see each other...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 24 Responses May 6

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    After seeing him last I've come on here

    and read-I've wanted to post but didn't want to jinx how I was feeling. We are still talking almost everyday day but I feel like I've pulled away some. I feel stronger it normally takes him about a month to start to really miss me and ask to see me that started earlier this week...
    Readytomoveon2015 Readytomoveon2015 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 148 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 2

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