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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,916 People

    So sad today :( 7 weeks in

    and I noticed he was already behaving distant and inattentive towards me. I broke it off on Saturday night via email and he hasn't said anything via email OR text. The most f***ed up thing is that I tried to break it off a month ago (before we had sex) and within 4 hours, he...
    MonaeJanelle MonaeJanelle 26-30, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 4 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    'Say something, I'm giving up on you' Tears

    everywhere right now. Could be him or me singing some of this. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O23-OjPyR9A
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 4 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    9 am and nothing. I'm going crazy!

    It's almost been 24 hours since I heard from him. I'm do worried, but I know he has to have rest, sk I'm not blowing his phone up.
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I really have no idea

    where to start... I am new on EP but I really have found no where else to turn to. I have told a few of my friends and they all tell me basically the same thing: get out while you can and WTF are you doing?! Which obviously does not help me. Lets see... I think my story is a...
    newyork2687 newyork2687 31-35, F 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Just realized something.

    ..yesterday when I texted the MM....before I told him I missed him, a message came across from him that didn't make sense. I just noticed that perhaps he made a mistake and the message wasn't for me. He said "hope to see you too". Didn't go with what I said. I shouldn't be upset...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Bad day today....lost my strength.

    ..showed weakness. Really bad day today :-(
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    If you love them set them free.

    If its true love they will come back. This is where I am at. Again. Been here around 4 times over 3 years now. But this time he has his girlfriend there. This time it's a proper affair with more than just feelings to lose. It's real. He says he can't give me commitment, a...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 17 Responses May 4

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 41 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 163 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I felt good about our day yesterday.

    We talked well and seemed to agree on what we wanted and I explained that communication is important for me. When he was leaving I jokingly said "just come back tomorrow" and he said "I actually could" (cus his w is working). So I told him to do it, and he left. I texted him...
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    He's getting sloppy..

    . And I caught myself letting him do it until I feel that it gets dangerous.... A few weeks ago my mm fell asleep after the end of our sexcapade.... I fell asleep too which was different and when he woke up it was after 3:30am.... Wife questioned him and she let it go..This week...
    Lilypad718 Lilypad718 31-35, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    This month makes five months with my man.

    They have been the best, albeit the most difficult, five months of my life. During the past five months: we said I love you, I found out he was married, we went away together, we spent the night together, his wife found out he was cheating, his wife sent me a threatening e-mail...
    blueblonde20 blueblonde20 22-25, F 1 Response 54 mins ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 72 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Looks like everyone is posting songs tonight.

    Here is one I love... http://youtu.be/N1GfEl8XUc4
    Dreamingofhim0514 Dreamingofhim0514 26-30, F 16 hrs ago

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    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 8 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    September 1...anniversary month.

    Another year as the OW. I'm really struggling. The last two weeks have been hellish. I caught him in a lie...not a lie of omission, but a bold face lie. First time ever! He told me he had church duties, but a NC weekend and a quick FB scan led to the truth: weekend getaway with...
    insouciant1 insouciant1 41-45, F 8 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    He said "I love you" today,

    I mean he's said it a couple times in the past usually when I'm one foot out the door. But today I was just having a rough day and contemplating returning to an old habit and he said "I love you, don't do it" :)
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 4 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    And so begins day 21.

    I dreamt of him last night, MM and his W. Oddly, in my dream, she wasn't mad at me, after all, "a w****is a w****" (thats what she said) and i was fine with that.Over the weekend, i spoke to a friend i made here, and we went over most of the last 7 years of my r'ship with MM. I...
    Grace7277 Grace7277 31-35, F 1 Response 29 mins ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    GUESS WHO SURPRISED ME AT WORK TONIGHT?

    ? He brought me my favorite BBQ for dinner and we spent such a nice time eating and talking and laughing. He went to see his mom (minus W of course) and his brother (who live 2 hours away) yesterday and today. He showed me Pictures and really opened up about the way he is...
    MarieVon MarieVon 36-40, F 6 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Great new country song!

    Every time I hear it I think of my MM!!! You hit me like fire, shot me like a bullet. Burned me up and down, no way to cool it. But every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey. It's like a bottle of Jack straight to the head. One shot, two shot, copper tone red...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Playing coy. A gentle,

    subtle dance of push and pull. As much as I HATE doing it, seems to be a necessary evil and it's fullproof. Works every time. After my Friday afternoon with MM, I am regretting allowing myself to feel and act a little too clingy and needy. Band practice last night...it's...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Does it make sense if I ask MM

    if he thinks his W has an idea? Cos between the two of us he's the one that should first to feel and know.
    Tomlie Tomlie 22-25, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    How should I say this to my OW?

    I want her to make the best decision for herself between me and her fiance. I want her to figure out what she really wants in a man, what she expects from a man, what she wants in life, and how she imagines her future. I think answering those questions will help her make the...
    wakeupdead wakeupdead 26-30, M 6 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I will often sit down

    and write a post about how I'm feeling. I write how I hate that I'm still really nervous around him and how self conscious I feel sometimes. I try so hard not to show how vulnerable I truly am but it's getting harder. I write how I am cold towards him sometimes because of my own...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Counting my days to spend 3 days

    and 2 nights just with him.... I am sooooo excited!!!! PS. btw...I love having the "delete button" here....lol
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    Please, do not stop posting.

    ... I may not be the best person to make this request because I have only participated on the forum for just a few months. But I am so glad I had a place to go. I can not begin to tell you how supportive you ladies have been during my time of heart aches, up swings, troubles...
    saiyagyrl saiyagyrl 36-40, F 4 Responses May 26

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 21 Responses May 6

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    Hopefully I do this right.

    I haven't heard this song in years. It's so perfect for my life right now. http://youtu.be/ErvgV4P6Fzc
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 17 Responses Apr 29

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    So I decided not to go back to my mm

    after he tried convincing me to go back. .. well today he calls just to tell me I chose my friends over him....
    confused7years confused7years 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I am having an internet affair with a married

    man. We talk everyday through texts while he is at work. He lives in Australia...I've known him for 3 years. When we met he was separated and we emailed each other nothing romantic but then he started dating another woman. Every once in awhile he would email me to see how I...
    AnthroRiotGRRRL AnthroRiotGRRRL 36-40, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 14 Responses Apr 27

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    He finally called Sunday night

    after standing me up Friday. He said he got "caught up" this weekend and that's why he didn't call. I said a quick txt saying he couldn't make it would have been nice. He apologized and said at that time he just couldn't call or txt. He said he would explain what happened face...
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    Just want to put this out there to all you

    other "other women" you keep me positive... You nail my feet to the ground... You make me smile ... You put my heart back in my chest ... Thank you and when I see you pouring your heart out I feel it... I hope all the best for everyone of you misunderstood beautiful women ... I...
    jupsta jupsta 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 9

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    I don't know why but i feel like MM's W knows

    that we're having an affair. Does W can really take it without saying a word to his husband? (MM and I are 3yrs now) how can we know if the W has an idea already?
    Tomlie Tomlie 22-25, F 1 hr ago

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