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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,561 People

    'Holding on is believing

    that there is only a past...letting go is knowing that there is a future'
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I love science! http://www.

    iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/what-sex-looks-inside-mri-machine
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    We are off together tomorrow

    for a week away. Just the two of us. We've never spent more than a day and a half together at once. Over a week together will be amazing. More than enough one on one time to learn about each other's annoying little habits too :) Can't wait. Bring on tomorrow!
    LoveBelle LoveBelle 26-30, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I just have to say how thankful I am

    for this community. I just got involved in the last day, but it is so good to read your experiences and learn from you all. And, it's keeping me off Facebook.. Which is good, because I was looking at her page constantly. Thank you all.. I hope for true happiness for all of us...
    4kari 4kari 31-35, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    It's been 3 days since "the end".

    Not heard a word from him which I knew would happen. All I can think of is a line from a Pink song. "I was fine before you walked into my life. 'Cause you know it's over before it began."
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 2 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    It's never when you expect it.

    You're in a crowded room and someone says something that reminds you. And you think.. You're at a party, totally distracted from it, when all of a sudden no one is talking to you and you're alone with your thoughts. And you think... You're in the bathroom and you catch eyes...
    iamjb iamjb 26-30, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    We have been friends

    for decades without telling the other how we felt till recently. At first it was like a dream come true. I was so overwhelmingly happy... My husband had recently told me I am unlovable. Hearing that I was the woman of my mm's dreams was just like a drug. We got caught...
    Mb24 Mb24 36-40, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Had a lovely day which was

    such a pleasant surprise. I set my alarm for half five this morning so I could sit up and message him while he was watching his favourite sport. I thought it would only be a couple of messages cos she was in bed but we ended up speaking for nearly three hours, saying goodbye was...
    mayarose3 mayarose3 26-30, F 16 hrs ago

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    You are probably familiar with the posts of

    Poetrynemotion - resident troll - in this group. When she's not writing poems about her own beauty she's here writing attacking comments and talking about the sanctity of marriage. Sigh. The ironic thing is if you look into her own history she had an affair with a married man...
    QueenFL QueenFL 41-45, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    So my mm is coming over tonight

    before he leaves for a week. It pissess me off because I know I'll miss him and the thought of him and his wife together irritates me so much. No matter how hard I try to not be mad I still end up angry and he knows, he apologizes a lot because he knows how hurt I feel about it...
    honeybree20 honeybree20 18-21, F 7 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 74 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Reading a lot of these posts

    and it appears that a lot of us are in the process of either trying to or currently letting this relationship go. I never understood these types of relationships but now that I myself am involved in one, I see, that these things are not easy. We fight between what is right and...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 4 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Has anyone married their MM

    after he divorced his wife? Do you trust him? Just curious..
    4kari 4kari 31-35, F 10 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    I've seen several comments/mentions of 'trolls'

    on this page. Can someone let me know who they are so I can block them? I'm not about the BS, and have no need to have a disgruntled W, scorned OW, or 'holier than thou' type of person try to come after me for loving the person I love! My experience here, so far, has been good...
    Sway72 Sway72 41-45, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 160 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Ugh, heard from my ex MM that

    now he's 'not sure'. I told him that is NOT true. Just because he is missing our relationship doesn't mean that he is not sure of his choice. I told him he better tread carefully. That he is very much at risk of losing everything - his wife, his life and me - and ending up...
    Breeze62 Breeze62 51-55, F 1 Response 27 mins ago

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    Serendipity... Even

    though he kept telling his wife that it was over she wouldn't let go. She did many things to try and stop him including committing fraud, lying, stealing from him, etc. In a feeble attempt to continue to control him and distance him from me, she had his cell phone number...
    dontrust dontrust 51-55, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses Sep 10

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    I am having a strange day the way I'm feeling.

    Not sure what to think about it. I am angry, sad, hurt, and yet i don't care either. I tired of it all. Tired of feeling like Im really not a priority or that he even cares. But I dont want to hear from him either. Maybe I just need to get away on a vacation or something.
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    This is definitely not a relationship

    for impatient people!! MM and I are working on eight months together and I'm ready to SCREAM! This is now the third weekend of the "This isn't working" talks, the fighting, and the ignoring each other. When will it culminate? When will enough finally be enough? All I know...
    BlackHiHeels4Me BlackHiHeels4Me 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I guess he is really bothered by me choosing

    going out instead of seeing him. He texted me this morning saying whatever in all caps. I normally say whatever to him when I'm mad so I guess he's implying that he's mad. I replied back with Good-morning to you, he then says sure- which is another word that I use when I'm mad...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I did not contact him yesterday.

    He never got in touch with me about today. After Thursday's conversation and this, I am officially done with him. I will not even entertain any further contact with him. A long time ago, my male therapist told me as long as a guy keeps coming around, he is still interested. When...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 10 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    So my mm called me yesterday telling me

    why did i go out & that i hurt him & still hurting. . He said he love me so much miss me & I'm his love of the life & his soul mate. . He also wants me back but i told him i had to think about it.
    confused7years confused7years 36-40, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    I'm so proud of myself.

    Tonight my MM called me and wanted to stop by for a sec but I told him no. He had his son so I'm guessing the wife went out. He said he just wanted to come get a kiss because it's been two weeks since we've seen each other( I have been making myself unavailable to him) I'm...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    To all the doubters..

    ..done and done. She is still messaging me trying to fix things since she believes that she is the one that screwed everything up. Having mixed emotions about it all. Feel bad that I had to trick her into a breakup, but truly feel there was no other choice after finding out about...
    max213 max213 31-35, M 5 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    I'm not exactly sure how it went from me trying

    to end things to us having our first overnight but I have no regrets.
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Bad, lonely day......

    ..but absolutely love getting a text from my baby saying Im sorry you had a bad day. Its sad that he can make me feel better from 35 miles away and my H cant or should I say wont comfort me from 2 feet away.
    candybuck candybuck 36-40, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    In a super good mood today.

    Just saw MM at work and since we said we'd remain friends i was surprised when he told me i looked "ridiculously hot" and stayed by my side for half an hour laughing and joking, it was like it was when i first met him, and when i said i had to go he was trying to find excuses...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    He says they split yesterday.

    Don't believe a word of it. But I'm no one now to question any of it. Have to stand well back and let things just flow. This is so hard. We haven't decided to not talk, just have space. We are always friends first, but the lies...oh my god how do I get over the lies :(
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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