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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,533 People

    I am having a strange day the way I'm feeling.

    Not sure what to think about it. I am angry, sad, hurt, and yet i don't care either. I tired of it all. Tired of feeling like Im really not a priority or that he even cares. But I dont want to hear from him either. Maybe I just need to get away on a vacation or something.
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 32 mins ago

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    I am #3. I'll always be #3.

    He says there are no boundaries for love. He thinks there is enough love for everyone. He admitted to being self absorbed. I had this revelation about him the other night. Thinking about the way he seems to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. The way things always...
    iamjb iamjb 26-30, F 4 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Well, I guess it's official.

    I have been kind of waiting to see how things played out, but it looks like mm and his w are going to stay together and team up against me during this pregnancy. I did send that brief text yesterday, (deleted now) and received no response. I am not sure from the things he...
    nonameplease74 nonameplease74 36-40, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    You are probably familiar with the posts of

    Poetrynemotion - resident troll - in this group. When she's not writing poems about her own beauty she's here writing attacking comments and talking about the sanctity of marriage. Sigh. The ironic thing is if you look into her own history she had an affair with a married man...
    QueenFL QueenFL 41-45, F 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    I really really have to update,

    you guys! He showed up, we were in the kitchen with the coffee I made him for 5 minutes before we were kissing all over the place. We went upstairs and had our fun, oh he felt so good. He was warm and soft and smelled like ink on paper. His rough hands were all over me and...
    velvetnico velvetnico 31-35, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    It's been a while since I've posted.

    .. I guess I can say the "relationship" is back on, and has been for a while now. It's getting more intense, emotional wise, and in all honesty it makes me feel bittersweet. I enjoy him, his company, the kisses... I'm not sure if I should write on here anymore. I'm not up for...
    latenightsxo latenightsxo 22-25, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    Last day of vacation.

    It's been wonderful! Heading home tomorrow morning. He says he misses me so much. I said he should stop by once I get home tomorrow evening. He can't. Kid's baseball games and going to visit a friend a few hours away. He would have said he would stop by after if he was going...
    CCBatman120 CCBatman120 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Spoke to MM on the phone this morning

    and he said something that he's never said before. I'm going home next week for some testing for a potential job and he was giving me a "lecture" about the fact that I was still in bed at quarter til noon today. In the midst of our conversation he says "you know I'm only hard on...
    kc5316 kc5316 22-25, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I feel like I'm starting to have more feelings

    and become invested again with mm so I am going to have to take a step back. Things go better between us when my feelings don't get in the way and I don't get needy.....but sometimes it's a bit tricky. Yesterday he said he MIGHT come see me after the gym, then I didn't hear...
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 74 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    'Holding on is believing

    that there is only a past...letting go is knowing that there is a future'
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 23 mins ago

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    In a super good mood today.

    Just saw MM at work and since we said we'd remain friends i was surprised when he told me i looked "ridiculously hot" and stayed by my side for half an hour laughing and joking, it was like it was when i first met him, and when i said i had to go he was trying to find excuses...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 160 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I did not contact him yesterday.

    He never got in touch with me about today. After Thursday's conversation and this, I am officially done with him. I will not even entertain any further contact with him. A long time ago, my male therapist told me as long as a guy keeps coming around, he is still interested. When...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 5 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    *update*: Saturday morning came

    and went. I got up really early, dusted my place, put on our favourite candle, and put on Lana del Rey. I took a shower and got all pretty to wait for him. I kept eyeing our app... not online. Checked FB (I'm under a ghost account so his wife doesn't know who I am) and saw that...
    velvetnico velvetnico 31-35, F 7 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I've seen several comments/mentions of 'trolls'

    on this page. Can someone let me know who they are so I can block them? I'm not about the BS, and have no need to have a disgruntled W, scorned OW, or 'holier than thou' type of person try to come after me for loving the person I love! My experience here, so far, has been good...
    Sway72 Sway72 41-45, F 5 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I'm trying to understand.

    When we first started the affair we would text constantly. I'm starting to think its because they were having problems. Now I don't hear from him after 9. He texted me like 8 saying he loved me. At one point we would text until late morning. It's the weekend and I know he's not...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    We are off together tomorrow

    for a week away. Just the two of us. We've never spent more than a day and a half together at once. Over a week together will be amazing. More than enough one on one time to learn about each other's annoying little habits too :) Can't wait. Bring on tomorrow!
    LoveBelle LoveBelle 26-30, F 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    MM and W went out to dinner tonight with her

    twin sister and her husband. My H and I also went out to dinner. He made it home before me. During our dinner I get a text that said "ate too much, drank too much. Going to sleep" then I got my usual goodnite sexy. Sweet dreams. xxooxx. I so appreciate that he was thinking about...
    candybuck candybuck 36-40, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    It's been 3 days since "the end".

    Not heard a word from him which I knew would happen. All I can think of is a line from a Pink song. "I was fine before you walked into my life. 'Cause you know it's over before it began."
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    This is definitely not a relationship

    for impatient people!! MM and I are working on eight months together and I'm ready to SCREAM! This is now the third weekend of the "This isn't working" talks, the fighting, and the ignoring each other. When will it culminate? When will enough finally be enough? All I know...
    BlackHiHeels4Me BlackHiHeels4Me 36-40, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    It's over. Last weekend together done.

    Brilliant time, fun, meals out, theme park, awesome sex...but still not enough for him is it?! Turns out would u believe that he d-day never happened either!!!! Looked at his msgs and nothin indicates any animosity, just all nice things. Funny coz I had a feeling it was made up...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 8 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses Sep 10

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    Well, in another 90 minutes

    or so, he will be off from work for the weekend. It is unlikely he will be going into the office on Monday as he is leaving for MS on Tuesday. He did not call me regarding tomorrow’s events, and as I stated yesterday, I am not calling him. On some level, I want to be nasty...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    So I've been trying to distance myself from him

    and have made myself unavailable to him for the past couple weeks. I originally told him that I was seeing someone else which I'm not. This morning he comes to my house unannounced and although I heard him at the door and he was ringing my phone, I didn't answer. I'm guessing...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Thinking it's all completely over.

    .. But missed my "visitor" it's about a week late so far. Sorta worried. It's never late...
    Khaleesii Khaleesii 18-21, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Reading a lot of these posts

    and it appears that a lot of us are in the process of either trying to or currently letting this relationship go. I never understood these types of relationships but now that I myself am involved in one, I see, that these things are not easy. We fight between what is right and...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I never intended to be the other woman.

    . We fell in love before I knew he was married. I have told myself all kinds of stories about her and their marriage.. He talks about our future together, says he just isn't leaving now (they have a baby.. I understand). But, I don't want to put my life on hold for him anymore. I...
    4kari 4kari 31-35, F 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I was just walking home from Tesco

    and decided to take a shortcut despite knowing MM and his wife lived down there, I knew that he was at work and so was she but I bumped into him, I proceeded to carry on walking and just smile and he came up to the side of me and grabbed me and kissed me, i pushed him away like...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    I don't know why I always get nervous

    but here I am, at our meeting spot, shaking
    nottheplan nottheplan 36-40, F 4 Responses 22 hrs ago

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