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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,635 People

    I'm not sure how much longer I'll be on EP.

    At some point, I'm going to finally rid myself of the identity of 'Other Woman,' and that involves ridding my life of everything associated with it. Not many people besides me even know I ever was one, but I can be my own worst critic. The constant reminders of who I was in...
    ashadams244 ashadams244 26-30, F 10 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 14 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 12 Responses Mar 21

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    The part that makes me most uncomfortable- the

    W named specific times that she knows he was with "someone else" and threw my name in the mix- those were times that shouldn't matter because they were separated. But he said "my mom doesn't know I cheated on W, and that's where it needs to stay." Feels yucky hearing it out...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I am currently involved in a relationship- of

    sorts- with a married man. I hate myself for it, but can't bring myself to leave. He lied to me in the beginning... lied by omission. I never specifically asked if he was married, I just simply assumed he was single since nothing in his profile suggested that he was married. But...
    NightsideOfEden NightsideOfEden 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 48 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I wanted to write this story from the

    perspective of a Married person(MM or MW) having an affair. This was triggered by a question someone posted yesterday, asking Why MM needs the other woman and why the MM can't leave the Ws so easily. Talking from the perspective of a Married person, sometimes things are very...
    Jazz045 Jazz045 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 25

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    Anyone who knows my story .

    .. Can you believe we had ANOTHER dday?? We broke up (after four years) about a month ago but after a short NC just days, we still communicate almost daily as "friends" and have slept together about once a week. It's been rough and even though I don't want him "back" (he will...
    elizabethmariejazz elizabethmariejazz 36-40, F 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 80 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    To make you feel loveable you traded legitimate

    needs for an idealised self-image, self-exonerated and demanded I buy the story. I pointed out your mixed motives. Your unacknowledged needs leaked into a shadow side, tired of putting others first. And each time the needy eruption came, there followed the self-loathing of...
    JosephinaBallerina JosephinaBallerina 31-35, F 32 mins ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 29 Responses May 6, 2014

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 42 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    He asked, why I didn't get into an affair

    while I was married, and in a terribly intimacy-less situation. I was already going through the stress of a bad marriage and din't want to add to it with an affair. Then he said something very interesting. He said - 'It's not stress, it's the solution.' No, it's not, an...
    coolvolatile coolvolatile 31-35, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Narcissistic Men. I've read quite a lot on this

    lately and wanted to share this article for you women who were cut off without apology or reasons. I found it helpful.. http://1solutionfocusedcoaching.com/2014/12/08/narcissists-are-never-going-to-apologize-escaping-purgatory/
    joyfulcloudofsorrow joyfulcloudofsorrow 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    b4realz b4realz 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    So as another long weekend approaches

    so to does the anxiety and loneliness..... He said he hopes by the end of this yr he can find a place to rent.... I just doubt it... He hopes to be divorced this yr.... I doubt it.... I'm. In a weird mood and I've been really upset and depressed today and my Dr today put me back...
    ap05 ap05 26-30, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 53 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Here on EP I met another 'other woman'

    and we clicked. Almost a year ago now and we talk every single day. Well yesterday we travelled the country and met half way for the first time an had an amazing weekend away together! Lots of good food, drinks, dancing and laughs! Best friend for life!! Just thought I would...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19

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    Chatted with me very distant.

    Said feels a shift has happened....whatever. Like he has never done anything to upset me? Many things. Forgetting my birthday when i brought it up 2 days before, going away for 9 days and not making the initial contact. when I did email it was like he reprimanded because I...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    OH. MY. GOD. It's final,

    he's single, and as of 9:37am today I am no longer the OW!!!
    Shardsofsorrow Shardsofsorrow 31-35, F 75 Responses Jul 29

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    Hey everyone it's been

    while it's official I am single. She staying Pittsburg while her mom's in the hospital she felt like it's bad karma. For what she doing. I haven't been on for a while.
    LadyScorpio95 LadyScorpio95 18-21, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 161 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 45 Responses Jan 10

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 48 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I'm very sad. His wife is jealous of me.

    He is quitting all training. It's the way we get together. He is really lost right now. I'm scared. But I can hear in his voice that he still wants to be with me. I knew we would get here eventually. I don't want him to quit training either. It's his dream.
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 17 Responses 1 day ago

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    I just somehow found myself in further joining

    in this web of deceit we have created. I made my IG page private. It's my creative outlet. So that's annoying. I also went through my FB and took out any photos that would "link" us. We don't even have pics of us together! I hate that I just had to do that. That I'm trapped in...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Have any of you have the experience of earning

    much more than your MM? And, if so, has this affected your relationship?
    HotPinkDaisy HotPinkDaisy 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Was thinking how the OM

    and OW see things differently. He cant understand why someone would have resentment if there is too little chatting. "I should have an understood what he was going through." There is no way to explain how you feel. I have explained before, but he doesnt understand and it...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 5 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 22 Responses Mar 22

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 19 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I guess I should say "I was".

    I feel I can finally breathe. I am finally taking my life with my own hands, with no one to hold me back, with no one who changes my priorities, with no one that brings me down. Like I said in a previous experience I am divorcing H. Not sure how long that's going to take...
    Natalie012 Natalie012 31-35, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Smiling Wildly 😍 4 weeks in a row I've seen

    him....I'm sure there will be some down time now.... I've said before he's a man of few words but last night he laid in bed with me he opened up like never before. We both cried and laughed and I feel closer to him then ever before. He said things and shared his thoughts and...
    SunshineGrey78 SunshineGrey78 36-40, F 18 hrs ago

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    ok this is some what off subject

    but I have learned to trusted you ladies.... today I was with mm sexually we have been together several times over the months and to say sore after yes... he's the largest I have had. But now I am hurting... hurting bad... don't want to move hurt to cough laugh anything... does...
    camobaby83 camobaby83 31-35, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 16 Responses Feb 6

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    So here I go again starting NC with exMM.

    Today is day one. He msg a few times this morning to meet today. I ignored. He just started msg again stupid questions that he could totally Google to find out. This is him tho. I know every single tactic he will try to use to suck me back in. I don't want back in. I saw a quote...
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    Every time I feel week I come here to you

    people. Read some, reflect some and grow some. Feeling grateful for all your support.
    LotusLIL LotusLIL 46-50, F 7 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 32 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 41-45, F 75 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Has anyone here started working

    for their MM as a conscious decision after starting a relationship? If so, how did it work out?
    daisyblue222 daisyblue222 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I haven't posted here in a long,

    long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife. I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM. But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took...
    crazycontrolled crazycontrolled 36-40, F 25 Responses Apr 30

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    Hello ladies I need help.

    I am married and have been seeing a guy for almost 2 years that has a girlfriend. Now I just found out that they got engaged 4 months ago. He never told me. I haven't told him I know. I need some advice as to how to handle it. Part of me just wants to go no contact and not say...
    beckyls beckyls 46-50, F 6 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    This has been an emotional week.

    MM's STBX moved out of the marital home on September 1. For almost a month, it's hit him what he's lost. He's grieving. I'm depressed for him, for his family, for myself. When I talked about, "giving him space," he was upset at the innuendo that yet another relationship failed...
    HotPinkDaisy HotPinkDaisy