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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,630 People

    "Are you, or did you,

    cheat on me with her?" Yup. Well that happened. He of course calls to tell me. Of course he denies any indiscretion. Technically, the times she was mentioning, they weren't together... But then there's all that in between time. She's never met me. But she knows my name now. No...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    For those of you who are emotionally burned out,

    let me paint you a picture: Pick a setting and imagine yourself there, holding hands with 'your' MM. Once you've got that mental picture in your head, imagine that his other hand is interlocked with his wife's. (Not quite the picture you were going for, I know, but bear with...
    ashadams244 ashadams244 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ladies and Gentleman,

    I want to say I am sorry for my outburst last night to the trolls post. I can put up with a lot of things but that one crossed the line with me. It started Sunday when another troll messaged me directly Sunday acting all smug. It went down hill from there when one of my best...
    Arubaskies Arubaskies 41-45, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 32 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 41-45, F 75 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I'm tired of being the one to make up.

    I told him he was making me feel like 2nd place. Now he is pissed. Trolls stay out of this. I'm really sad. I've thought what we had was amazing. But too many failed plans this week has made things hard for me coming off of a hard weekend. I really don't like being an affair...
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 15 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Has anyone here started working

    for their MM as a conscious decision after starting a relationship? If so, how did it work out?
    daisyblue222 daisyblue222 41-45, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Well, ya. Pretty much a D-Day.

    He just came by my desk. He is very much keeping a huge distance. Looking around the whole time, worrying who might see us. He used to be so confident. Said he still hasn't decided what he is going to do. But 90% sure he won't train any more. I said that's not nice of her to do...
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Have any of you have the experience of earning

    much more than your MM? And, if so, has this affected your relationship?
    HotPinkDaisy HotPinkDaisy 41-45, F 4 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Here on EP I met another 'other woman'

    and we clicked. Almost a year ago now and we talk every single day. Well yesterday we travelled the country and met half way for the first time an had an amazing weekend away together! Lots of good food, drinks, dancing and laughs! Best friend for life!! Just thought I would...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19

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    I just somehow found myself in further joining

    in this web of deceit we have created. I made my IG page private. It's my creative outlet. So that's annoying. I also went through my FB and took out any photos that would "link" us. We don't even have pics of us together! I hate that I just had to do that. That I'm trapped in...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Narcissistic Men. I've read quite a lot on this

    lately and wanted to share this article for you women who were cut off without apology or reasons. I found it helpful.. http://1solutionfocusedcoaching.com/2014/12/08/narcissists-are-never-going-to-apologize-escaping-purgatory/
    joyfulcloudofsorrow joyfulcloudofsorrow 31-35, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 94 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 42 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Looking back it is funny how easily I fell into

    the trap of becoming 'the other woman.' The first flash of distress - a wounded soul no less, and I dived into the murky water. He told me that I was his oxygen. I was a mermaid Saint Bernard with the reviving elixir strapped to my neck. Strangely, I found two unmarried men...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 21

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    OH. MY. GOD. It's final,

    he's single, and as of 9:37am today I am no longer the OW!!!
    Shardsofsorrow Shardsofsorrow 31-35, F 76 Responses Jul 29

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 22 Responses Mar 22

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 29 Responses May 6, 2014

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    Other Woman or Optional Women It's come to my

    attention over the last 24 hours that I am incredibly strong. Revelations of awakening and it feels great. Lots of tears though to get here, but something finally snapped. The highs and lows of being the Other Woman I hope are finally over. I've managed my relationship well...
    LotusLIL LotusLIL 46-50, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    And I know it's long gone And there was nothing

    else I could do And I forget about you long enough To forget why I needed to... You call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
    macwellgirl macwellgirl 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Is this possible? MM claims

    that marriage is marriage! He has to stay in it until his girls are married and settled down. But love is love, love is what is between him and I. I can not get over the thought that he is staying his marriage making the greatest sacrifices of his happiness for his wife...
    SoLost63 SoLost63 51-55, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I wanted to write this story from the

    perspective of a Married person(MM or MW) having an affair. This was triggered by a question someone posted yesterday, asking Why MM needs the other woman and why the MM can't leave the Ws so easily. Talking from the perspective of a Married person, sometimes things are very...
    Jazz045 Jazz045 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 25

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I sent him an email that made him mad.

    But Im tired of always making allowances for not having much contact. Maybe i pushed the button too quickly and should have had more control. But sometimes it feels like thats all I do it control the disappointment. Im sure he will never understand that either.Oh well I...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 4 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I'm an auntie for the third time!

    ! My little brother and his wife had their first baby on Monday night at 9:31. My third nephew. This kid has more hair than me I swear. On top of that my sister and her hubby are having their third child in March and it's a girl!!! I already told my sister I'm taking my...
    AvaLennon AvaLennon 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 45 Responses Jan 10

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 19 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    MM and I are off again.

    This time, I won't be predicting the future this time around. I go over this, over and over again. it has officially begun ...NC. Perfect timing for me, I have school, homework, new job downtown, and other responsibilities. So, NC is good. Anyways, there is this guy who works at...
    newgurlxo newgurlxo 18-21, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 170 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Every time I feel week I come here to you

    people. Read some, reflect some and grow some. Feeling grateful for all your support.
    LotusLIL LotusLIL 46-50, F 1 Response 9 mins ago

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    ok this is some what off subject

    but I have learned to trusted you ladies.... today I was with mm sexually we have been together several times over the months and to say sore after yes... he's the largest I have had. But now I am hurting... hurting bad... don't want to move hurt to cough laugh anything... does...
    camobaby83 camobaby83 31-35, F 9 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 53 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I haven't posted here in a long,

    long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife. I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM. But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took...
    crazycontrolled crazycontrolled 36-40, F 25 Responses Apr 30

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    I am currently involved in a relationship- of

    sorts- with a married man. I hate myself for it, but can't bring myself to leave. He lied to me in the beginning... lied by omission. I never specifically asked if he was married, I just simply assumed he was single since nothing in his profile suggested that he was married. But...
    NightsideOfEden NightsideOfEden 26-30, F 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 16 Responses Feb 6

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 48 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Chatted with me very distant.

    Said feels a shift has happened....whatever. Like he has never done anything to upset me? Many things. Forgetting my birthday when i brought it up 2 days before, going away for 9 days and not making the initial contact. when I did email it was like he reprimanded because I...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 80 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    saw each other this morning

    and slightly intimate today Gave me literally 5 minutes of chat on line following. I kinda went nuts as for the past 9 days w has been away. We have had pretty minor contact with about 1/2 hr int he mornings and nothing the rest of the day until bedtime even though wife has been...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    You can delete my story

    but that doesn't make what I said untruthful ;)
    GiveMeHead69 GiveMeHead69 22-25, F 8 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    so it's been a little over two weeks.

    he still texts and calls me daily. I support him but do not engage him. I avoid having my phone on me at our normal peek talk times and only respond when I am not feeling vulnerable. I will say it feels really good. I miss him terribly but that's normal. he has been good about...
    infinitymdc79 infinitymdc79 36-40, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    So, I had to share this song I just discovered

    because it's so relatable and incredibly beautiful. http://youtu.be/eRXO77hJGKA
    subgirl26 subgirl26 22-25, F 2 Responses