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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,881 People

    He is returning home today

    after a week in training. I have really thought long and hard about what I was going to do. I want it to be over. As much as it hurts me to think about never seeing him again, I know he is staying put, and I am not looking at his back again as he walks out the door. I know...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 5 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I struggle every day.

    I have so many questions so many feelings. I saw him the other day, we spent time laughing and talking, yet before we parted he made a comment that I haven't been able to get off my mind. It showed his lack of trust with me and now I don't know what to say or do. I'm pissed off...
    Girlygirl35 Girlygirl35 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    I really dont know how to say what I feel.

    I"ve kept this to myself for awhile, but I just need someone to talk to. I'm married, he's married. He's my husbands friend, his wife is my friend. I have been with my husband for 29 years, married 21 of those years. We met when I was 18, so its been a long time. My MM and...
    Blueeyes65 Blueeyes65 46-50, F 7 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 74 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 161 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Hi there ladies (and gentlemen whom stalk this

    topic! Lol). This is more of letting my feelings out verses them continued to be bottled up... Well - it’s now been over a month since I have last seen, felt, or heard from my mm. I miss him so much that my heart aches…my soul aches…my body aches… I wonder how he is...
    yogachic76 yogachic76 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    After 4 months of not seeing him it's just like

    it was. Morning coffee together :)
    MartiniLynn MartiniLynn 18-21 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    So my MM is at work for the night

    and since he asked me to stay I decided to clean his home away from home for him. Well mostly because I'm a very clean person and though he is fairly clean I'm positive he hasn't dusted since the last time I seen him (4 months ago) and partly because I need to keep myself busy...
    MartiniLynn MartiniLynn 18-21 6 hrs ago

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    So tonight was pretty bad.

    We've been arguing a lot lately and the only reason I haven't left is because I love him. I just want things to go back to how it used to be
    honeybree20 honeybree20 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 49 Responses Feb 16

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    I'm having an affair with a married man,

    so I guess that makes me the other woman...but as I'm married as well I guess that makes him the other man lol
    INeedMore INeedMore 31-35, F 20 Responses 1 day ago

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    To other women, to wives,

    to all women in various relationship choices, You are unique. You are special. We are all equal human beings. We all have feelings, weaknesses, strength. Not one of you is first. Not one of you is second. Not one of you is third. Wherever you place yourself is wrong. Measure...
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    After our difficult conversations last week,

    and me not responding over the weekend, he is really trying hard today. It doesn't matter though, I'm done. I need to stay focused on what I want.. Not be swayed by him. This is so hard...
    4kari 4kari 31-35, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Do any of you have children from your MM?

    Or did you ever have any scares? If so, what was the outcome?
    beneboo beneboo 26-30, F 6 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    About to endure a month

    if NC starting tomorrow. I have been mentally preparing myself for this. Believe it or not, my fear is that this time away might make me stronger and I'll learn to live without him.
    SleeplessNites SleeplessNites 41-45, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    8 wonderful nights and 9 blissful days together.

    We knew the hangover afterwards would be a killer. We knew saying goodbye would be torture. And it is every bit as hard as we imagined. But my god, was it worth it. It's just cemented everything for us. This is it. We will have our time together eventually. And when we...
    LoveBelle LoveBelle 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 46 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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    I just want to say how proud I am of myself.

    I found a way to block him on my phone and I have no intentions on unblocking him. He did email me today at work and I felt the need to ask some questions because I needed closure. He never throughout this affair told me he was leaving. This is something that I think we both...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Lots of thinking the past 3-4 days.

    ... After his last text of "can't get up and leave" I've been asking myself "Do I want to be 2nd forever? Is this the way I want to spend my life? Waiting for him to have a free moment for me? Is he really going to stay with her forever" The answers are frightening... No I won't...
    Newlife48 Newlife48 46-50, F 16 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    He took a half day today

    and we spent such an amazing afternoon together,i cant remember the last time i laughed so much or felt so alive. I love that we just fit...we just get eachother...its amazing....its crazy...its beautiful...I love him from the guts of my soul and i value every single second we...
    Jellytots2412 Jellytots2412 36-40, F 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    I met a man about a year ago who's 22 years

    older than me who told me he's never been married and never had a child. These weren't the reasons I fell for him but they didn't hurt either. Recently though (since he also lives about 1000 miles away) I wanted to surprise him by coming to see him where he lives (NY while I...
    kittentoes kittentoes 22-25, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 45 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Finally said no to him.

    We only get to meet up once a week and I'd been looking forward to it all week and yesterday he invited me out today and I said I couldn't bcos I'm busy. I actually said it because I want more sleep because it's my day off. But I did it, I am one step closer to cutting him off...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    So I am trying to get over my MM.

    I love him loads but as you know, he hadn't been treating me right of late, so have been practicing detachment for while now (hope that word makes sense).. Anyway, I want to talk to new people, new men, just a chat buddy to help wean myself from thinking about him and longing...
    Ruru7 Ruru7 31-35 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 35 Responses a week ago

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    Found out today that the woman

    who wants to be with my mm is leaving her husband in February.. she has been texting and calling him a lot lately, telling him that she's losing weight and feeling so healthy, and asking him about his marriage.... Not that he's interested in her or anything (he swears!), but it...
    ElsieJay ElsieJay 41-45, F 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 17 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Ok ladies, so right now I am sitting in my

    motel room waiting for work tomorrow. I realized I don't think I was nervous about seeing him. I think I was nervous about everything. Right now I am the biggest freaking baby you have ever seen in your life. I am missing my baby girl like crazy. I have never spent more than a...
    MartiniLynn MartiniLynn 18-21 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have friends on on my FB page

    that write nasty things about women who their husbands have cheated on them with. I have no interest in commenting on those posts because I find it ridiculous that the same friend would tell me that she and her husband agreed not to have sex any longer. What I really believe any...
    caitlin563 caitlin563 46-50, F 5 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 145 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 80 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    The feeling I get, in my gut,

    as I watch that little pixelated circle, spin round and around, on the screen of my small electronic device, otherwise known as a phone, demonstrating to me, that it is reaching out through the air and the distance between us, grasping for something, that may or may not be there...
    MaryIsMyHomeGirl MaryIsMyHomeGirl 26-30, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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