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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,449 People

    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 2

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    So I just confessed something to my friend.

    As sick as it is considering all the **** he's put me through, I still miss and think about the mm who's the father of my unborn baby. If he would man up and move out of a marriage he's obviously not happy in I'd probably be back with him in a heart beat. Sick, but true...
    nonameplease74 nonameplease74 36-40, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    So my MM has been on vacation.

    Talked to him last wed bc it was his bday. He went out of town to see his kids and I'm sure the wife went so I wasn't expecting any contact and I didn't contact him. Which is fine I was busy working anyway. So Monday morning at 8:24am he text lol but I was asleep and did t text...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 29 mins ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    Decision time for myself.

    I got a very generic email message this morning. (no feeling or anything or the usual xo). I know he as doing some errands and sure the wife went too. Havent heard from him all day and who knows what the rest of the day will bring. But, I need to decide if I want to see...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 28 mins ago

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    Yesterday he told me he was ready to end his

    marriage. No details. To this day I don't know what's happening in his marriage. I know he's unhappy, but don't have any details. I doubt that he will ever leave. After being together for 7 years I know he never will
    123Frozen 123Frozen 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses 5 days ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    D-DAY. Knew something was up last night.

    Turns out she saw a pic of me&him posing for silly pics in bed on his phone. She questioned it, he came clean. How much he told her tho I'm not sure but she told him it was over.so with that and me telling him 'screw this' with me acting jealous of her, it all came to a head...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 22 Responses May 6

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    Here is my story i know some will be tempted to

    judge or to say "why would you put yourself through that" but i have come to learn its easy to know what the right decision is when you are outside looking in. I met a man, he was the definition of wonderful, he listened, was thoughtful and gave me all his free time (when he...
    Nellieee Nellieee 22-25, F 3 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    "The thing about addiction is,

    it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us...
    kc5316 kc5316 22-25, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 163 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 43 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    He left her 2 weeks ago

    and has filed. She confronted him about me (because she knows we have been close friends and had her suspicions) and he came clean. He also told his family and friends that it's really over. He was always very private about his misery, so after 22 years of marriage, they were...
    dontrust dontrust 51-55, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Well I just sent MM an email

    so hopefully it will put his mind at ease. The email is below Hey there So I've been thinking a lot about the conversation we had last and I realised that we fight about this subject all the time. So after reading a few things online... I have decided the only thing I can do...
    Guilty1982 Guilty1982 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    So updates: I've been trying to talk to the MM

    I broke up with. I thought maybe we could be how we were before...but he is more cold now that before. Perhaps because I ended it? Or maybe he found another? Or maybe he knows I had fallen for him so he doesn't want to be too chatty? Whatever it is, I can't be the one initiating...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 18 Responses Apr 29

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    He contacted me at almost 11 last night.

    We chatted for about 15 minutes I was rather short and not nice. He gave one of those comments of how tired he was....knew the connection would be short and it ticked me off. He is a very driven personality and he's in that mode (after 6 years i see the shifts) Again, this...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    Positive msgs off him yesterday.

    Then it came to night time and my head goes into overdrive. Is he seeing her tonight? Why is she even still around? What possible need does he have for her when he says he loves me and now sees a future with me? Txt him lots of nice things, no response so in the end I just...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 5 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 73 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    We haven't even met in person yet.

    .. I'm new here, so I'll just launch right in. I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with these "other woman" rules. I've been here before, but I can't seem to handle it this time. Me, always being the first one to say hi or good morning and the last one sending a message at night...
    Ahmazing Ahmazing 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Me: "Want to do something tomorrow?

    " Him: "That would be nice" Soooooo- is that a yes or a no? -_- Gotta love being a woman and over thinking every single damn thing.
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I've known my MM for 18 years.

    We dated for two years then he ended it. Said we were too young to be committing so soon. I was inlove with him so didn't handle the breakup well. He was always the one I wanted and loved. A year later he dated someone else. I had to accept that he had moved on. Then I met my...
    123Frozen 123Frozen 31-35, F 4 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    I have a confession. My man is on twitter

    and because we're not allowed to be linked in anyway, he doesn't follow me and I don't follow him. Because I'm so suspicious about him chatting to other women I created a fake twitter account to follow him and within a week got him to follow me. I know my insecurities are...
    123Frozen 123Frozen 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    Is it bad that I keep having to read his

    obituary to remind myself he's really gone? That in a few days I wint get some random text saying get your sexy a** up here now, i miss you? I have so many pics of him in my phone, some he sent from the hospital to reassure me. God this is hard, i just want 5 more min to tell...
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 9 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I just had a fight w my MM.

    When we 1st got together we discussed doing a *********-that was his ultimate fantasy...we never did because we were so into each other we didn't have time. Now 3 years later he still wants to but there is no way I can do it now that I'm madly in love w him. When I tell him this...
    Gossipgirl1408 Gossipgirl1408 41-45, F 5 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I spoke to my MM early Saturday Morning (3am).

    I had just finished a Skype session with a friend and he signed in. It wasn't anything prearranged. He just happened to sign in when I was finishing my chat with the friend. My MM saw me there and messaged me. We did the usual hellos and he asked why I was up so late. I...
    Guilty1982 Guilty1982 31-35, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    I still haven't bothered responding to his half

    *** message from Sunday. On the way to school today, I was late so I had to take a shortcut. It took me right past one of his rental properties and guess who was standing out on the sidewalk, talking on the phone?! He looked me dead square in the face and after I had passed...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Waiting on a text as always,

    hoping for a lunch date. I painted my nails to match mm's funky boxers I'm always making fun of. Thought I'd share here since I can't tell anyone else the story behind them ;). Have a great Tuesday everyone.
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    I can't tell you how many times I've tried to

    end things with him. I often felt that I gave him my heart and he would ignore me. When earlier in the relationship we would chat constantly. So once I started backing off he would come running back. Saying he doesn't want to lose me. I'm so weak when it comes to him.
    123Frozen 123Frozen 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I miss him, lately it seems

    as though he's been pulling away, and all I can do is pull back myself, or at least try. Perhaps it's because things have been getting serious, my feelings have been questioned and so have his (mostly by me.) It seems as though I'm constantly in waiting for him to contact me...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Same conversation. Different morning.

    Me: Why are we doing this? I know I don't want to ask but I have to know, do you still love her? MM: No. Out of comfort I'm there. You make me happy. You are the reason I get up in the mornings. Me: Why stay somewhere with someone unhappily ? I don't want you with me but I...
    Risktakingflirtation Risktakingflirtation 22-25, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    This entire week has made a basket case of me.

    We haven't been akone together in 8 days. We're both unusually busy at work. On Sunday we had band practice where we did our usual, pretending like we got nothin but a fist bump relationship in front of the others. Then he called me on his way home and asked me to lunch the next...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 7 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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