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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 10,098 People

    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 42 Responses Feb 24

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    I wasn't able to see him last night like we had

    planned and I probably won't be able to until next week. I was a little disappointed but I'm learning to just let it go because there's no point in getting upset over something I can't control. He did get his phone back but he hasn't mentioned how things are going with the wife...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Question, what kind of birth control do you use

    to not get pregnant by your MM? Do you use a couple of methods or just one? Mine is gonna get a vecactomy soon (he already has 5 kids) but till then I want to protect myself!
    kylee2013 kylee2013 36-40, F 11 Responses 32 mins ago

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    Once your affair was discovered did you have to

    deal with a lot of backlash from wife or friends and family? I've been called so many names the last couple days, and I haven't responded at all but I really do feel sick and terrible. Do I respond? Would that just make it worse?
    megansunshine megansunshine 18-21, F 18 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I have had the best day today with MM

    and we are not even physically together. But he has been on a business trip away from his W and constantly texting and messaging me about everything and nothing. Declaring his love, talking about problems & plans, exploring our fantasies. This morning he was even late for a...
    daisyblue222 daisyblue222 36-40, F 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Things are shifting in my feelings more

    and more. Since his surgery he is having less pain and able to get around more. (which means less time to connect) He is so driven with work. I dont want a physical relationship with someone who doesn't make time for me. Slowly backing away.
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 45 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 10

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 7 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 76 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    Today was an ok day. MM

    and I texted like normal. Bad day to be a motorcycle cop in the weather we are having. Had to deal with a bus accident so got soaked to the bone. On his way home he said he didn't feel well. I feel bad for him. I would love to be there, make him chicken soup, have a hot shower...
    Sweetpea379 Sweetpea379 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 87 Responses Aug 10

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    From ep support......

    "this member has been removed". You're welcome my friends. 3 guesses who.
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 5 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    So he saw a friend guy text me

    and he freaks out uugghhhh so much for a promise ring
    ap05 ap05 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Spent what's supposed to be my last night with

    my MM this morning and oh god this is gonna be harder than I thought. The sex is just so good idk how I'm going to stay away from him. But I know when my boyfriend gets here it will be impossible to get any time together.
    MartiniLynn MartiniLynn 18-21 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I have a question. If u were the OW

    and u became pregnant by a MM, would u keep your child despite he didn't want u too or would u have an abortion because u would be afraid he'd walk away?
    canthelpbutwait31 canthelpbutwait31 31-35, F 11 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    To all OW that feel needy

    and wanting contact all the time.. Remmber he is married and does not want a teenager being needy all the time. Be a woman! He misses you, he is crazy about you but he is not single and cannot do it all the time. Cherish the time he gives you. Just bear and enjoy him all you can...
    kylee2013 kylee2013 36-40, F 6 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I know his feelings for me are dying

    if anything maybe already dead. I knows he loves the sex and I know he still cares but I have a feeling because of the rough time I have been going through he has had enough of my sad face and constantly having to pick me up and he just can't be bothered anymore. He even said I...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 5 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 162 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Missing my MM so much today .

    .. What's the longest affair that you have known of? Doubts creeping today ....
    dsuzy dsuzy 36-40, F 11 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 2

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 31 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    One of those days I feel I'm losing my strength

    and faith to be able to hold on to this roller-coaster relationship ... ;(
    oxoi oxoi 26-30, F 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I am sure everyone is tired of hearing it lol.

    But this is where I come to vent and the over powering emotions have caught my breath again today. I miss him so much. He is still not at home and according to her Facebook they are still having problems. I just don't understand how he can not contact me or anything. We have...
    Jennbme24 Jennbme24 31-35, F 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    So after my crappy post

    and Millie's supportive messages today I find out I got a job to start on Monday! I'm really happy because I won't be sitting at home constantly waiting for his messages and going insane. It's not my ideal job and it's a few weeks contract but will hopefully help rebuild my self...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    On a scale of 1-10, with one being none

    and ten being wide open, where would you put your communication level with your MM? Why do *you* think you're at the level you're at? Is it at where *you* want it to be?
    eapple eapple 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 hr ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 50 Responses Feb 16

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 36 Responses Sep 23

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    I knew by his tone yesterday

    that he was in trouble. He left his wallet at home and was trying to figure out how to run his route all day with the cash he had. I was in town not too far from him and didn't leave him much of an option "if you want a hundred or so speak now before I pass you". I pulled up...
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 8 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 46 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I need to grow some and end it.

    No fun anymore and so mean to me.
    Pommy8 Pommy8 51-55, F 7 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Went and looked at a place last night.

    I think it's the one!! It's in a complex still being built so I have my pick of units. Thinking I like the ones facing east.....gorgeous views of the mountains. If you don't remember my story, I'm the one who is separated from husband but we are still living together until March...
    greeneyes2232 greeneyes2232 41-45, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    I wonder how stupid some people are?

    they comment then block you I guess they don't realize I just delete there comments.
    Nastynasty7 Nastynasty7 46-50, M 6 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 20 Responses Jul 30

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    I can't do it...there's no way I can end this

    in a week none nope not gonna happen :( I guess no matter how much I hate the situation, I love him enough to tolerate it. Maybe I won't share this new revelation with him until next Friday though...the thought of us ending has got him thinking about things.
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 6 hrs ago

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    So, going to spend some time with my MM today

    probably for the last time. I will see him at work still but this will probably be the last time we get to actually spend time together for awhile at least if not forever.
    MartiniLynn MartiniLynn 18-21 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    He finally locked his damn iPhone screen

    after failing to delete some texts she found the other night. Not sure what it was, but it was enough for him to lock her out and "**** her off worse than if she walked in and watched us have sex." Had a 4-hour lunch together yesterday. Mexican food, a park nap, Halloween...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I've been the OW for over a year now.

    Last night I just told him I can't deal with things the way they are. It kills me when I am with him because he can't be mine, but it kills me when I am away from him. It's always "I can't get divorced yet" because of this or that, he can't deal with change, blah blah. I told...
    thedokken thedokken 22-25, F 6 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I'm a total nut bag! A totally crazy person!

    I cannot handle these strong feelings I have for this guy. Falling in love sucks! I almost want to run away. I'm so scared of getting hurt! Things are great right now but what if??? I'm officially psychotic!
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    kikimarie1978 kikimarie1978 36-40, F 24 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I remember my mm and I having a conversation

    about 6 months into our relationship of him not being able to see someone that lives around his neighborhood because he wouldn't want to disrespect his W in her face. I remember his saying how he wouldn't want to have a woman being around her in the supermarket, at the gym...
    Lilypad718 Lilypad718 31-35, F 7 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 39 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Got another message from MM today.

    I had sent him a message a week ago to him through an online writing forum we met through three years ago (we lived nearby at the time, and met-up with local writers, began our writing group, and thus. . . our affair). I told myself he wouldn't go back to the website, so he...
    mrsteacherlady84 mrsteacherlady84 26-30, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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