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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,471 People

    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 73 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Well a little over a month ago I "ended" it.

    .. He told me it would be hard for him not to keep trying... That was not true... He barely kept up any contact... We played a game on line.. And built me a big heart it was cute... Then weeks go by with maybe a text here and there "sorry been so busy" ... "I miss you" Then...
    jupsta jupsta 36-40, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    Whoever posted this the other day,

    I want to let you know that you saved a marriage. I printed it out for my MM and gave it to him yesterday. I knew in my heart that it would resonate with him and it has. He says he keeps re reading it and told me that yes - it is exactly what he is feeling. I cried and he held...
    Breeze62 Breeze62 51-55, F 1 Response 16 mins ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Well, definitely punched in the stomach today.

    Things had been wonderful with him for the past week, but I am now seeing that I made a grave mistake by opening myself up to him again. I was still on a high from the week’s conversations. First, his inviting me on Saturday to go with him to the bike festival. Yesterday...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 11 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    Today is a little better,

    she didn't send anymore texts. I am just going to go on with my life. I hate that she's hurting, but I know there is nothing I can say or do to make that better. I will continue to ignore and not engage her should she text me anymore. I know one thing, no more married men. This...
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses a week ago

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    Does anyone know their MM's W?

    I know his wife fairly well. Our children are BEST friends! My MM used to work with my ex husband, so as couples, we interacted with one another quite often. Whether it was at our husbands work events, or at school functions. Our kids went to the same private schools (from...
    Sway72 Sway72 41-45, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    Saw him in person yesterday

    for a few hours. Just talked. I didn't get into the topic of contact. I wasn't in the mood for excuses and I knew if we "discussed" we would end up getting physical and I didn't want it. I think he was wondering why I didn't get physical and he didn't ask. It just seems...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 4 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I feel so terrible honestly,

    my MM was stabbed a few weeks ago, he has a dangerous job and got into an altercation at work and he ended up in hospital... I think he must be suffering from some form of PTSD because he has just looked so terrified for weeks and he really is usually this big tough guy, he's...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I love that I have this secret about him no one

    knows. I know him in a way our coworkers don't and when someone we know mentions his name just smile
    nottheplan nottheplan 36-40, F 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    I blocked and reported Honesty899,

    for using racial slurs and name calling. I think many of you should do the same. This is suppose to be a safe place for members to share and get support. I'm not the other woman. But I don't come to groups, trolling people.
    Inherownwords Inherownwords 31-35, F 19 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    I am doing so much better today.

    I felt awful yesterday,  the worst I have ever felt since this entire thing started. When I woke up this morning,  my blue mood was over. I will not be contacting him again,  period. He lied about everything he said which is not surprising at all. I don't need his toxic bulls...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I think I'd be content to just be his friend.

    We're good friends before everything else. Love making is great and wily be hard to never want him again. But if we can remain friends, chat and laugh I'd be happy. It would also help me to regain my self worth. Right now I just feel like a horrible person. I really don't want...
    123Frozen 123Frozen 31-35, F 4 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I wanted to thank you ladies

    for your support. I did bump heads with a few of you due to personal differences. Any hoo, my MM & I are no longer together. This is due several things. One of them is his procrastination of the filing for his divorce ( shy a few days of eight months if dating). I noticed a...
    Bailey1950 Bailey1950 36-40, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    i was looking at him yesterday

    after work. I txted him and said i am outside his office. When I got no reply, I walked around and then I saw him talking to a girl. He saw me and I thought he would end their conversation already. but to my surprise he didn't! He just kept on talking to that girl and he seemed...
    Tomlie Tomlie 22-25, F 6 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    For the first time I felt a little jealous.

    He and I were in my office when a woman from another department dropped by. She is always very flirty with all guys and I know my AP doesn't really know her. She got real close to him and the high pitched flirty voice came on as she tried chatting with her. Then she grabs his...
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I know it's only day 2 of this

    but ever since I decided not to let myself make things serious and ask so much of him (because let's face it, men have affairs with women who aren't gonna ask anything of them) he seems to have been in such a better mood and the conversation seems to flow so much better! It's...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    Does anyone else have a long distance MM?

    I'm so jealous that a lot of you are planning weekends or even a weekly meet up... I have another month before I see him, after two months of talking and teasing. Another reason I ask is, I don't know if all the OW rules apply to me. By me not initiating, I feel like that will...
    Ahmazing Ahmazing 31-35, F 7 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 43 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Today has been lovely,

    been chatting to a few other ladies on here which has been motivating it's day 4 no contact an I'm feeling great ...... Even feel my self confidence coming back, wore a skirt I've never wore before, with tights though .... Done a lil house retail therapy.... My evening is...
    Monabrown Monabrown 26-30, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Its raining here. I would love to be snuggled

    up under the covers with my MM. Just laying in his arms rubbing his chest (I call that my sexy spot) I miss everything about him. I just wonder if he really misses me or if its just something that he feels he has to say.
    candybuck candybuck 36-40, F 1 Response 35 mins ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    Here's the thing, he is sitting there with his

    family thinking everything is hunky dory. While I am sitting her letting go, moving on. He does not even know. I was not online for 2 days, yet he didn't even notice. He hasn't noticed that I am not available as much anymore. So what does that say about how he feels about me? I...
    freddiesgirl69 freddiesgirl69 41-45, F 1 min ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    I read a story the other day

    that really got me thinking. A woman was talking about her affair and how her therapist had said something along the lines of, "you don't love him. You don't even know him. You love the person you have created in your mind. You can't love someone you only see for an hour a week...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    So I did something maybe a little stupid.

    ..maybe not, I don't know. I sent the father a brief text. Couldn't stop myself. Here's what it said. You know it really is a shame that things had to get so nasty. I don't illegally his animosity but I have no choice but to think about it everytime he moves. I think it...
    nonameplease74 nonameplease74 36-40, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    It's nice to see that

    after a few rough days some have managed to fix the issues they were having while others have taken a step forward to a new beginning of happiness. I'm not too sure what had been going on with these men lately but I'm glad everyone has managed some sort of peace. This takes a...
    Risktakingflirtation Risktakingflirtation 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 17 Responses May 4

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    I didn't know he was married

    until just now. He's older (38) in the military so I assumed he wasn't married because we go out a lot and he didn't seem cautious or anything about being seen. I feel horrible I should have known something was wrong. I like him but I don't want to ruin some ones family. What do...
    honeybree20 honeybree20 18-21, F 9 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Yes yes i fetched him at the airport during my

    lunch hour, had lunch then headed to check in.. I was overwhelmed when in the room he told me that tomoro he is taking me to a jewellery goldsmith shop to get me a gold chain.. Im into a 5 months relationship and my first gift from him was a designer handbag.. I never ask for...
    prettygoddess prettygoddess 26-30, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    Almost got very excited

    that I heard from my Ex-MM today...then I got my senses back. He sorta said he missed me but he said it in his own special way...the annoying way... Anyways...meanwhile the young SG at least strokes my ego and makes me feel nice...who knows if it's real or not. But he says how...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    Has any one ever introduced their mm to their

    family? How did it turn out if you did. Just moved back home to save money..my dad is aware I have a bf and asks when he is going to meet him.. Mm and I spoke about it..his willing to meet the family his just concerned they will find out he is not divorced. Any advice?
    carlee55 carlee55 22-25, F 1 Response 53 mins ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 160 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I guess I am here because I don't know

    where else to go to release. We have mutual friends who know our situation and don't judge but when things get tough and I fall apart they are the ones that pick up the pieces and I don't want them to end up hating him or frustrated with me, the constant "he's just having his...
    mayarose3 mayarose3 26-30, F 6 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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