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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,056 People

    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Day 1 of no contact. I need to be stronger

    this time. I've agreed to one email a month so we can keep up with what is happening in each other's lives. Does that still count as NC? I just need more from him. And I'm afraid I'll be waiting forever.
    Journeys2013 Journeys2013 41-45, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    I've made myself physically ill.

    I need a time frame from him. Ladies, how do I ask that? Without pushing... I can't do this...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 4 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Being the other woman is probably the worst

    relationship I have had ever. This is just my point of view I read a lot of you that make it throught it all and he loves you and gives up his life for you and fullfills his promises to you. Not my case. First of all it is forbidden. He is taken since the moment you meet him...
    liberty2014 liberty2014 36-40, F 18 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Its such a cold day in spring.

    ..cold just like how I'm feeling. Im trying so hard to keep myself busy yet my mind is occupied with thoughts of him. I will miss him...I miss his warmth and I know I'll always love this man with all of my heart no matter how much pain I'm feeling. But I'm not going to live a lie...
    waitingonfaith waitingonfaith 31-35 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 70 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 28 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    The Clarity From Relationship Uncertainty.

    ... I read something from another OW's post that started me off on an introspective journey ... To paraphrase her " If i do not hear how much MM cannot live without me and longs to make me his, the rest of what he says fades in to idle chatter " Ping ! i got her ...I have...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Well.... Like I've said,

    my MM kept saying nothing has changed, listen to what he says, he still loves me, he's just busy with the new baby, etc. We talk everyday. I haven't heard from him since Friday. I tried texting him today, no response. I think I already knew it was like grasping on to sand in my...
    lit4love lit4love 26-30, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    How I love trolls!!! They are

    such fans of our stories!!! Not only they take time to read our posts but they take time to write. I guess cuz they're on their fat *** all day sitting behind the computer screen without a life. Just saying. Happy Saturdays you all ;)
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    Today he heads back home from 8 days away with

    his friends. He's had the blow out and fun away from the drama he has left behind. It's been 8 days since he finished with her. He's stayed in contact with me loads this week, mostly all good apart from me asking him some emotional stuff half way through but he reacted well...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Almost drove to their house.

    Not sure why. I got as far as to get in my car. Then I grabbed all the critters and went to the dog park instead.
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 34 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    If you could ask your MM one question about

    your affair, what would it be ?
    Blueeyes65 Blueeyes65 46-50, F 42 seconds ago

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 48 Responses Jan 10

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    The walk was nice. Then decided it would be

    neat to check IG. Looks like they are/were spending happy family baby time together with another couple. So I sent him a big long text about how I just wanted him to be happy. (If I was really the one, I would be full time, not just some idea). What does "I have to do this...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 27 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    After drinking a bit too much with my AP

    and our coworker, I started to think about how inconsistent he's been lately, and my drunk brain just got more and more annoyed with him. I sent him a message on our chat app basically just telling him I was deleting the app, and we'd still be friendly, etc. He said ok, and that...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    did he really not love me?

    why am i always easily tossed aside?
    xalotlikex xalotlikex 22-25, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 28 Responses May 6, 2014

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 87 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    Friends Fwb (with both) Mistress (to

    both husband & wife) Mistress (to just husband) They're relationship was doomed before they tied the knot. Right after they get hitched she begins to loose her **** bc she expected it to suddenly be a fairy tail. They use me as a buffer. He still sleeps with me. He likes me...
    BobbyBlack7589 BobbyBlack7589 22-25, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    Awful, awful day - full of misunderstandings -

    so hard when you can't actually talk face to face at the time. "We" are ok but today that good 'Ol coaster is on the d-o-w-n for me and I need to square my shoulders and get it going u-p!!! Thank goodness for kindred spirits here x
    onlymeonlyme onlymeonlyme 41-45, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    Didn't check in here yesterday.

    had a night out with work. Made sure to post photos this morning as I knew I looked well. Haven't posted a photo since we split. kinda put it up for me but also a small part to show him what he is missing...... I know I shouldn't care but its difficult to break the ties from him...
    Livealifeyoulove Livealifeyoulove 36-40, F 9 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I don't know how I feel anymore

    or how he feels it's been going on for so long now we've seem each other at least once a month since we met-maybe it's because I expert to see him again I dunno-but I'm just numb-starting our 4th year and beyond being addicted I'm just wondering if I'm worn out. I have my heart...
    Readytomoveon2015 Readytomoveon2015 31-35, F 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I love getting unexpected text messages from MM.

    All he says is "thinking of you". He's going through such a rough time at home it means so much to know I'm still on his mind. I though he might need some space but he says he needs me. I'm glad to know that some how just being here for him makes things better. All the normal...
    ladylove0113 ladylove0113 36-40, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Mammogram this morning.

    Once a year if you like it or not. Thing is it's on my mind that I am the exact age my Mother was when she found her breast cancer. But I'm thinking good thoughts.
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I'm going on day seven,

    fighting urge to contact him and also realization that I need to let him go. This is an awful feeling and I've tried it before but caved at first sight of him. I'm tired of feeling like I'm so last on his list and he could walk away so easily with no second thoughts. It was so...
    ayliffe ayliffe 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sunday. I wasn't prudent with my time at all

    yesterday and I'm trying to walk away from the fact that I didn't do anything except essentially cry. Everything from yesterday rolled over into to today so lots of cramming for chores. I'm not ready for tomorrow. Usually I'm pretty excited because I get to see him, but I feel...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 154 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Funny story to share

    for the women that feel hopeless like me... I went to get coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts and right when I was leaving the place Better in time by Leona Lewis came on the radio. I thought that was a sign from God to let me know that it will get better in time and that I will move on...
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 15 Responses May 4, 2014

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    MM.. Why did you do this to me?

    You told me you would never just disappear.. Maybe you haven't . Maybe I'm just overreacting. I know you are out of the country, but why didn't you call before you left? It's been two months and no word. Did you try to stop over before you left? Did something happen? When are...
    andwhatnow andwhatnow 31-35, F 4 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 88 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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