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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 11,774 People

    Another week down... He's changing.

    Part of it has been hard to watch, he has grown stronger and in doing this has shut me out in some ways. Today, he opened up a little, he is in turns; sad, bitter, tired, angry. I know he needs to go through his journey on his own, I can no more do it for him, than he could...
    40Creek 40Creek 41-45, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 205 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    The day that my best friend told me over

    and over would come has finally arrived! Oh ladies, help me!!! I received a message tonight from my ex-MM! I know that it's been said before here time and again that most of them come back, I just never expected that mine would. With all of that being said, it makes me feel much...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 5 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    How do you ladies gain enough strength to leave?

    I just feel so weak. I don't know if I can do it. I love him so much. He says he is finally talking to W about moving out but I don't really believe it will ever go anywhere. Even if it does it will probably be another year. I need to hear from some of you for some advice.
    thedokken thedokken 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    A question or thought about divorce.

    Honest here. When I first was with my MM he told me he would never divorce his wife, they had been together to long to do that to her [41 years]. My first thought was that dumb, what does how many years you've been with someone have to do with your choice to divorce or not...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 14 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I'm not the other woman,

    but I love the support you get (I too was once the OW & this group has helped me get thru some pain from MANY years ago) . I heard Rascal Flatts song "Riot" & fell in love with it. Maybe this song is for some of you OW & OM out there. http://youtu.be/nTwpGrWzGpI
    DreamGolfer DreamGolfer 46-50, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 165 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    How Do You Resolve conflicts?

    Sitting in my office with a woozy head, a massive headache, sore throat and jolts of lightening in my lower back and knees... Yup! this is how Malaria feels like. I can still think and smile and most of all I can miss like crazy the OW friends in my life.... I will be offline...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    For all my EP friends,

    I have changed my screen name from Surfsway to Serendipitous1. It's still me.
    Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1 36-40, F 9 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 154 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    The weirdest part about this whole thing is how

    at times, I see parallels between w and I. She is going to some outpatient classes at a clinic where I was an outpatient 16 years ago. My husband left with my child within about 2 months of my treatment. My life hit hard in rock bottom that year, and it's taken me until...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 25 mins ago

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    This morning I had a moment

    where I could envision the future with us. I can see a glimmer. This week is so huge. I was with him at a kid function last night and visited with some of his childhood friends, one who said she would make a great flower girl. It's a ways off but so much closer than I...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 19 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    So it's been 8 days and I still haven't cried

    over the fool… those you know my saga know what I'm talking about.. I'm also finding myself not thinking about him much. Everything in my apartment that reminded me of him I threw out like is Patriots cap… medicine he bought me… and even some condoms he left over.. I've...
    AvaLennon AvaLennon 31-35, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Ahhh. I love this guy

    and he is so completely sweet to me, but damn he drives me crazy sometimes. I'm learning his moods and triggers, which is great. I used to stumble right in and step on things. Now at least I see them coming and avoid them. I got a gift of money from my grandmother and offered...
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 27 mins ago

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    So my guy emailed me,

    he took the day off of work yesterday to hang with me. However, I wasn't excited about it. He came we played around, cuddled, talked a little and then he got up to leave cuz in had errands to run, then he can back again later and then left to go to a birthday kickback. I don't...
    YankeesOTW YankeesOTW 26-30 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Honestly I know it's not very noble

    and most people condemn it but I've always wanted to be the other woman at least once. It's in-grained in most of us to do something wild and forbidden at least once. I kinda want the Sugar-Daddy thing too...just once. Once.
    doublemajorfever doublemajorfever 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 19 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 54 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I just read an article about two individuals

    that were sentenced to prison time for trolling and sending online threats. Just because your user name doesn't include your first and surname, doesn't mean that you're anonymous. Yay, computer forensics! Boo, trolls!
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 46 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Had to deal with the aftershocks of us being

    "found out" at work again today. It has been months. I get my work done impeccably well, I am pleasant to everyone, and a huge team player. I just want everyone to move on and concentrate on their own personal lives. It's like they are campaigning for us to fail. Why on earth...
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 1 Response 29 mins ago

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    At first i was happy about my MM getting a

    promotion, but now i am just sad. I know this means I will most likely never get to see him again. Saturday was the first day I was at work and he wasnt there working beside me. It was miserable. Everyone was talking about his new job and how great it was. All i wanted to do...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 28 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    More drama from ex MM.

    Text for 3 hours. He wants me back and when I deny him he starts getting nasty. I told him I was blocking him and I deleted whatsapp. I didn't actual block him but I stopped responding to his texts. He actually apologized which he never does. I still ignored him. He hasn't msg...
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 32 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Please excuse my stories being posted under the

    same heading . I wrote down my feelings for you my wonderful woman in November. The words express how I feel. I don't intend to offend anyone by the content. I write as the mood in me intensifies . I lay in bed and dream about you. Oh my sweet lady. If you are wearing that...
    JohnCrighton JohnCrighton 51-55, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm not. But it's hard to feel sorry

    for people who actively cheat or are helping others step out on their SO. It's pathetic to me. So many excuses are given and most of them selfish. If the two people are cheating on each other, I'm not judgmental. But when someone does it because of selfish pleasure? Ugh...
    RationalCutie RationalCutie 22-25, F 10 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 84 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 15 Responses May 4, 2014

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    I don't expect my MM to leave his wife

    or children and I don't want him to. Just like I'm not gonna leave the life I have created for myself either and he wouldn't want me to. I didn't plan on falling in love with him. Idk what my plan was. I didn't have one and I still don't. I can see myself getting too attached to...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 150 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I've struggled with the no contact.

    My MM went back to his wife after being separated for 2 years and filing for divorce. We ended things in the beginning of Dec when he couldn't keep moving forward . There was communication and " I love you" and " I miss you " texts, back and forth . There were even " I haven't...
    Widow68 Widow68 46-50, F 1 Response 47 mins ago

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    Is MM's Full Disclosure Uncomfortable ?

    I am home resting and recovering from malaria. The world still intrudes...My phone still rings a lot... Much of this is my friends calling to check up on me. However one phone call stands out because it was a close friend, calling to lean on me.. Which am always happy to do...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    How do you OW deal with the silence?

    I never call or text my MM. We message only occasionally and the silence inbetween is so isolating. How do you cope?
    lostinhere2 lostinhere2 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I'm married but I'm having an affair with my

    best friends husband. I know we can never be together as it would rip his family apart but I feel so lost without him. I made a huge mistake marrying my husband and can only be thankful we have no children. I want a divorce but I know it would crush him. It's so difficult being...
    kimathy86 kimathy86 26-30, F 117 Responses