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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,591 People

    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    Put up a photo yesterday on FB with curly hair,

    I never curl my hair. Who was the first one to like it? Yeah. Him. Considering he wanted to end it cause his feelings were getting too intense wouldn't it be wise not to like my stuff?
    BlackFox05 BlackFox05 18-21, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I have question ladies .

    .. Do you enjoy more being with your ap at a private place ( your house, his house , hotel room) and make love OR enjoy spending time in public ... Like having a lunch together , going to cinema , coffee shop , walking beside the lake ? ? I mean let's say you have both choice...
    heavenishere heavenishere 31-35, F 12 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 74 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 160 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 46 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Wondering if I should just get the hint

    and tell him its over? From the beginning he always told me " I will never leave you, your going to have to be the one who leaves me".... Since we got back from vacation early this month I feel such a disconnect... it was the perfect vacation so I don't understand...his wife...
    halfofmyheart halfofmyheart 26-30, F 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    13 days NC....and life goes on.

    Pretty bored today....so just wondering what country is everybody from?! For planning purposes for when we all decided to get together for the OW convention! LoL
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 30 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I love people who think they are above being

    the Other Woman. I am a control freak, and if I could control who I fall in love with I would. I love how people assume that they know what it feels like, and that they are so perfect they can look down on others and be judgemental about my feelings. Those who quote...
    Nobody0327 Nobody0327 36-40, F 7 mins ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Well, he wants to come over in the morning.

    I've gone this long without seeing him, now I'm not sure if I really feel like being bothered with him. Since I've been turning him down, I guess I'll let him come. Not sure how I feel though. I should be excited to see him but I'm not. Maybe it'll be different once I see him
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I just have to say how thankful I am

    for this community. I just got involved in the last day, but it is so good to read your experiences and learn from you all. And, it's keeping me off Facebook.. Which is good, because I was looking at her page constantly. Thank you all.. I hope for true happiness for all of us...
    4kari 4kari 31-35, F 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Ok i have a question

    for y'all ow... does ur mm give y'all money or buy y'all gifts?
    confused7years confused7years 36-40, F 15 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    13 days NC....it still hurts just

    as bad as day 1....super ultra low tonight. Will I ever feel the same about another human being as strongly as I felt for him? Wonder if he misses me at all tonight like I miss him?
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 7 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    He says they split yesterday.

    Don't believe a word of it. But I'm no one now to question any of it. Have to stand well back and let things just flow. This is so hard. We haven't decided to not talk, just have space. We are always friends first, but the lies...oh my god how do I get over the lies :(
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    So my mm couldn't make it to my house Friday

    night( our set night)... He rescheduled for Saturday.... Couldn't make it though....it's Been too long since I had some and I'm going crazy! I speak to him today and he makes plans to see me. My H picked up the kids(,were separated) and now I'm home alone and starting to...
    Lilypad718 Lilypad718 31-35, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I guess he is really bothered by me choosing

    going out instead of seeing him. He texted me this morning saying whatever in all caps. I normally say whatever to him when I'm mad so I guess he's implying that he's mad. I replied back with Good-morning to you, he then says sure- which is another word that I use when I'm mad...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 8 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I hate the days when I think myself into a mood!

    !! I've been trying hard to put me first. I've been working different shifts than my MM, going hiking with friends & spending more time with them, yet I still love him and miss our time together. We've seen each other maybe once every couple of weeks but just in passing, he still...
    Newlife48 Newlife48 46-50, F 7 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    Okay, so this past summer I fell in love with a

    married man. At first I only saw him as a friend. Someone I could tell anything and he would always know the right advice to give. I never thought of him as anything more than a friend because he was married and also 12 years older than me. I am 20 years old and he is 32. We'd...
    Heygirlheyy55 Heygirlheyy55 18-21, F 5 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    "She’s easy to like.

    " I've never understood why that’s considered a compliment - that just anyone could like you. Because surely it would be more of a compliment to be hard to like, yet people choose to like you, and even often times, choose to ******* love you.
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 12 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    It's hard being the OW.

    He tells me one thing, she posts another. I feel it's my punishment some how. Wishing I could just turn my brain off for a moment to stop crying.
    dsuzy dsuzy 36-40, F 6 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I am so flaming mad. My mm promised me

    and told me I could count on him to come with me out of state to see something and then as it got closer slowly said I don't know, I'm working on it, I can't. Well, I found out he really could have, he was just afraid to put in effort. So while I have to go somewhere alone and...
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I'm so proud of myself.

    Tonight my MM called me and wanted to stop by for a sec but I told him no. He had his son so I'm guessing the wife went out. He said he just wanted to come get a kiss because it's been two weeks since we've seen each other( I have been making myself unavailable to him) I'm...
    Truone16 Truone16 31-35, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Ugh, heard from my ex MM that

    now he's 'not sure'. I told him that is NOT true. Just because he is missing our relationship doesn't mean that he is not sure of his choice. I told him he better tread carefully. That he is very much at risk of losing everything - his wife, his life and me - and ending up...
    Breeze62 Breeze62 51-55, F 8 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I made it through the day.

    I held it together when we said our "see you laters." It wasn't an easy car ride for me; there were a few times that I shed tears, but for the most part I made it. Now I'm ready for the next three months to hurry up and fly by.
    kc5316 kc5316 22-25, F 4 hrs ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    I am a hairs breath away from becoming the

    "other woman" Oh the irony but I told him no ta, if he kicks the woman out then let me know. I won't be holding my breath lol.
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 9 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses Sep 10

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    I've spent this last week doing a lot of

    thinking. The truth is, I'm too addicted to let him go. I really think he told me he'd been with someone else to make me react since I didn't say "love you too" back to him when he said it. He wanted to prove that I do care so he said something he knew would bother me. I still...
    GenieH22 GenieH22 36-40, F 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    You ever just feel like forgetting about him,

    working hard on yourself so that should he see you, he can eat his heart out, as you walk away?
    megansunshine megansunshine 18-21, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Hi ladies! I hope everything is doing well on

    you. Im at my lowest low right now. **perks of being the other woman. I even forgot to eat the whole day because of this emotional torturing pain that I'm feeling :(
    Tomlie Tomlie 22-25, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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