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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,046 People

    Dear MM: If you only knew all

    that I do for you, every day I wake up and do my best to look as hot as possible, do my hair, make up and dress nicely. And hope for the best to hear from you and I am ready to see you. But you don't care to see me. I saw your wife today at the supermarket, she doesn't make an...
    liberty2014 liberty2014 36-40, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm sorry for posting

    so much. But I unload a large amount on him and while the response of "you don't have to be afraid" is kind, the rest of the emotion is probably redundant. I love him. I want nothing more than more time with him. For when I'm crying on my bathroom floor, I want him to come and...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I will never get my answer to how someone could

    make you feel so loved for so long could lie to you and then cut you off with no explanation . I have been obsessing over this to the point of being physically sick . He hurt me more than I thought anyone could, I trusted him. He was separated, he helped me through the grieving...
    Widow68 Widow68 46-50, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 27 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I didn't plan it. I always thought I was above

    it. I had friends and family on all sides of an affair, I walked through the journey with them. I chewed out my friends - husbands mistress. I witnessed the pain, destruction, separation, divorce or reconciliation. I had friends that were "the other woman." Then I found myself...
    Tapeti Tapeti 31-35, F 15 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 70 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    What a week....I'm trying to keep it together.

    Trying not to break...which is why I'm coming here to let it all out so I don't say something stupid to him. He came to visit this week. I haven't seen him in over a year since he moved to Chicago with his stupid girlfriend. And sadly, I won't see him. I talked to him on the...
    LightningXIII LightningXIII 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I DON'T WANT TO ******* CRY ANYMORE!

    !!!!!!! I should have never put myself out there and invited him to come over today knowing full well the devastation that would follow. How quickly he can derail my day. How quickly I allow him to do that instead of keeping it moving. How quickly I collapse and fall into total...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    How I love trolls!!! They are

    such fans of our stories!!! Not only they take time to read our posts but they take time to write. I guess cuz they're on their fat *** all day sitting behind the computer screen without a life. Just saying. Happy Saturdays you all ;)
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 6 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Annoyed :( MM started renovations on his old

    place a few days ago because he really wants to put it on the market as soon as possible, which I totally support. He's super busy trying to find a permanent place to live, so we haven't been able to cross paths this week with the exception of one evening (which did not go so...
    autumnsx autumnsx 18-21, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 87 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    So a bit a background story.

    From what I know about MM, he had been married for approx 10 years, they have children now in their 20's. From what he has told me, getting married to her after 10 yrs of being with and having children, getting married seemed like the right thing to do .I have had a crush on him...
    isolatednlonely isolatednlonely 36-40 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    There they are. The tears are coming down now.

    Reality is sinking in. Knowing I won't ever feel his touch, look into his hazel eyes, or kiss him again hurts. I will always love him...and he will never know how much because I won't ever be able to show it....
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 5 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 47 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Didn't check in here yesterday.

    had a night out with work. Made sure to post photos this morning as I knew I looked well. Haven't posted a photo since we split. kinda put it up for me but also a small part to show him what he is missing...... I know I shouldn't care but its difficult to break the ties from him...
    Livealifeyoulove Livealifeyoulove 36-40, F 1 Response 35 mins ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    Day 1 of no contact. I need to be stronger

    this time. I've agreed to one email a month so we can keep up with what is happening in each other's lives. Does that still count as NC? I just need more from him. And I'm afraid I'll be waiting forever.
    Journeys2013 Journeys2013 41-45, F 8 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I'm going on day seven,

    fighting urge to contact him and also realization that I need to let him go. This is an awful feeling and I've tried it before but caved at first sight of him. I'm tired of feeling like I'm so last on his list and he could walk away so easily with no second thoughts. It was so...
    ayliffe ayliffe 41-45, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    It's been two days of NC with my mm.

    He is probably filled with joy...I'm assuming his wife gave birth or going through it now as I'm typing this. I have enough. I'm done with this emotional roller coaster. Letting this go.....
    waitingonfaith waitingonfaith 31-35 3 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses a week ago

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    17 reasons why ppl have an affair.

    Which one(s) are you?? http://www.alternet.org/story/87528/what_kind_of_adulterer_are_you
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 8 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Today he heads back home from 8 days away with

    his friends. He's had the blow out and fun away from the drama he has left behind. It's been 8 days since he finished with her. He's stayed in contact with me loads this week, mostly all good apart from me asking him some emotional stuff half way through but he reacted well...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 88 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    We finally had our first overnight

    after almost 6 years. I was too anxious/nervous/excited to sleep I just lay in his arm and listened to him breath all night. I didn't know it was possible to make so many great memories in one night.
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't know how am I gonna move on

    when mm is the first person I think about every morning. Fml
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ever wake up in the morning

    and feel like a great big piece of you is missing? Weekends are the worse. Even though we manage to connect everyday, the weekend throws our schedule off. It doesn't feel right. Fighting the feeling. Going for a long hike with my dog, in fresh snow, then some don't need...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 22 Responses 1 day ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Haven't posted in a while.

    Life just has me by the balls so to speak. My relationship is not part of all the misery, rather what keeps me trudging through with a smile on my face. I know I've missed a lot here, mainly a few new trolls with the same tired lines. Do they think they're creative? How are...
    Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1 36-40, F 8 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 15 Responses May 4, 2014

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    Look up the book "Choice Theory" by William

    Glasser. It's what many psychologists practise and it helps for those of us who feel helpless and out of control in the situation.
    lit4love lit4love 26-30, F 21 hrs ago

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    Had a great day/night partying with family

    and friends. Just what I needed. Lots of drinking to drown my sorrows, which I never do, but it helped. I'm getting stronger and more over this situation. Mm hasn't contacted me and that's helping too. I guess I sort of wish it stays this way. There's plenty of fish in the sea...
    ilycc06 ilycc06 31-35, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Funny story to share

    for the women that feel hopeless like me... I went to get coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts and right when I was leaving the place Better in time by Leona Lewis came on the radio. I thought that was a sign from God to let me know that it will get better in time and that I will move on...
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 36 mins ago

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    It's all about him...

    .ALWAYS about him. All texts and pictures before Wednesday were deleted but of course, I am re-reading the texts from the past couple of days and I just realized that not once did he ask how I was doing. Nope. Not once. "I love you..I miss you..." (Yes...thank you. I love and...
    ravenofthedark ravenofthedark 41-45, F 5 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 27 Responses a week ago

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 48 Responses Jan 10

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    I thought I had put up a fairly benign post

    this morning, but it sure attracted some real haters. My stand is normally to ignore these people, thinking if you don't pore gas on a fire it will burn itself out faster. But a few of the comments made really got to me this time. I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 10 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    Dear weekend. I hate you.

    I hate that he texted this morning asking if I thought he was leading me along... That he cares so much about me. Obviously this was in context of so much more... But 3 days without tears and less anxiety. Now it comes flooding back. Self induced. Lack of sleep compounds the...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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