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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,425 People

    sunset4ever sunset4ever 46-50, F 7 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I got a surprised text very early morning

    coming from Angeline.. I named him Angeline xxxxx not to arouse suspicious. When i see that name my heart skips faster and inpatiently to read.. Disappointed it didnt come from him.. It was my ex colleague. It is day 7 today.. Leaving from US on sunday and touch down on monday...
    prettygoddess prettygoddess 26-30, F 15 hrs ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 14 Responses Jun 2

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    I just saw him after a week long breakup (our

    first real attempt to stay away) That man makes me so happy. Just thinking about his smile make it so I can't stop smiling. I wish there was an easy answer. A way that the reasons we tried not to see each other would be happy to see us together.
    trigger03 trigger03 22-25, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18

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    Anyone stayed friends with their FB

    or lover after it's ended?even if just friends years before that.
    Pommy8 Pommy8 51-55, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Just wondering, for those of you

    that have shared 'I love yous' with your mm.... Who said it first? How long had you been 'together' before saying it? Did you have an aha moment when you realized you loved him?
    Gingerishere Gingerishere 22-25, F 13 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    I am counting down the days.

    Six more days and I'll be with him for the week. Five more days and the W moves back out which means more time. It also means our relationship starts to progress! He was over last night for a couple of hours. We never made it to dinner. Lol. We both had such a difficult...
    BlackHiHeels4Me BlackHiHeels4Me 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 80 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 70 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    So after only 4 months I've decided being the

    OW is not for me. It takes a special kinda woman to live this lifestyle. I applaud you ladies that have been doing it for years. After that whole txt message incident yesterday I realized I'm not ok with being the runner up or second choice. I'm worth way more. He claims he...
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 2 Responses 18 mins ago

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    My mind keeps telling me

    that I've done the right thing by letting him go, but my heart is not so sure. I sit here thinking how he'd make me feel when he'd say hi or even smile at me I'd know that even if it was for a moment, I'd crossed his mind. In a perfect world, when he was with her, he'd be...
    iheartnono iheartnono 31-35 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I was all teary eyes this morning over this man

    and now I get a call from my receptionist my husband is here. My husband WHAT!!! she said he is here to see you, its my MM I am NOT HIS WIFE! I am the side *****, the bottom *****, the mistress what ever else I cant think .....OMFG why wont he let me go. why wont he leave me...
    4everhislady 4everhislady 36-40, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    After a very in depth talk on Monday,

    I have seen a huge change in my MM. He is making more of an effort to do little things that shows he cares. It feels amazing!!! He texts good morning and good night. He calls me after he leaves a site and on his way to the office (his idea not mine). He sends me a pic of him...
    Dreamingofhim0514 Dreamingofhim0514 26-30, F 8 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Day 18 of no contact

    after D Day. I am having a hard day. Teary a few times. I know I have to stay strong. It gets hard at times, but I will persevere.
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    It's been soooo hard not to ask him what

    happened at their counseling session last night that necessitates an emergency one tonight. But, I learned long ago that hearing about what happens there somehow always makes it harder. A new rule in our relationship is we don't talk about what's going on with them. It helps me...
    greeneyes2232 greeneyes2232 41-45, F 1 Response 57 mins ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 80 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 90 Responses Aug 10

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    I love someone I can't have.

    What he wants and what he can have are two different things. I don't know what to believe. I think my time with him was just an experiment or a way for him to escape his life. Maybe he loved me. just not enough. He made me feel whole. sexy. funny. smart. wanted. I adore him. I...
    geminigirlnextdoor geminigirlnextdoor 41-45, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Had a breakdown & txt him "F*&$ you.

    .stay with your wifey"....I already feel bad about it. I'm not sure if he'll even respond tonight...I'm just so pissed at him for acting like it's not ok when I txt him
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I am so mad he lied to his w

    and I don't know why. I knew he wasn't going to leave...... But I am mad he lied. If hurts that he reduced what we had to a one time thing that meant nothing......and I can't seem to get passed it. Every time I think about it I cry...... I don't understand
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 8 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Sooo it's nearly d-day

    and he's going on holiday with his family, sun beach....it's 3 days away. I thought I was mentally prepared for this but I'm not. I'm really really beginning to get worried. He's coming to see me tomorrow as he's busy on Friday. I did message him today about my insecurities over...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    How can Iose something

    that was never mine???
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 17 mins ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 27

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    A weird couple of days with limited contact.

    Purposeful by myself mostly I would say.easing myself in gently to the point where I can let us go and retain a normal friendship maybe. I doubt it would even be discussed. Since we don't so the lovey thing anyway-would be just another day but with no plans to meet. It's kinda...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 7 hrs ago

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    The shortage of real woman.

    They betray each other so fast. They go for a guy who is taken. Guys lose respect form females like this and have names for them. The way they talk behind your back to their friends. They never really mention you to their mother. Females get easier every month. It's sad when...
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F 10 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 20 Responses May 6

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    Today was the very first day

    that weatalked in general, since I said no more. We were three feet apart, I wanted so bad just to touch him. My heart hurt so much, a couple of times my eyes even teared up. His smile, his eyes just make me melt. I could tell he was a little uncomfortable, he played with his...
    rjh3 rjh3 46-50, F 2 Responses 44 mins ago

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    Had a brief but somewhat interesting convo with

    the single guy...granted it started off with his usual "muah" messages back and forth and was driving me nuts! Anyway...he asked how was my wifey life going...my response..."just waiting for you to sweep me off my feet". Him: So I can make you my wifey! So I just said "Well...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 12 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Don't ever get yourself into this situation

    unless you like your emotions to be toyed with, like being the second choice or best of all, being a complete secret! It starts out good and happy but let me say that the difficulty progresses over time and letting go is hard like hell.
    Dancedancedance Dancedancedance 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 163 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 40 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I noticed last night

    after a visit with mm...after a couple hours of kissing my lips were the perfect shade of pink. I could save a ton of money on lipstick if he'd just follow me around all day and I could use him as needed lol.
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 26-30, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Today i am angry.Driving-in to the office this

    morning i thought, "oh how i miss him. i love him so much, it hurts." and then i thought.... "i wonder if he's missing me. i wonder if he thinks of me when he hears a song." unfortunately for me, i know he does. i wish i knew he didn't. it would make it so much easier, to be so...
    Grace7277 Grace7277 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 142 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I got to spend all day with him today.

    Had a nice lunch and got to talk some things out. He said that he realized that there is never going to be a right time to leave so he is going to finish a few things at the house before it gets sold and then go ahead and call the attorney. I've given myself a drop dead date...
    sadtosayimow sadtosayimow 26-30, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 17 Responses Apr 29

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    I saw him today. And last night.

    And all weekend and every day last week (except Tuesday) . And he asked to take me to lunch tomorrow. This is kinda weirding me out. It's very new. It's fun...I adore him and every passionate, interesting, funny, stimulatimg, titillating moment together. I just try not to...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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