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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,053 People

    After drinking a bit too much with my AP

    and our coworker, I started to think about how inconsistent he's been lately, and my drunk brain just got more and more annoyed with him. I sent him a message on our chat app basically just telling him I was deleting the app, and we'd still be friendly, etc. He said ok, and that...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I'm going to hot yoga tonight.

    I need a space that's free from him. I know it's probably my hormones and my energy but he's felt distant today (he hasn't been- texting all day...) I need to reestablish balance in my life on my own. I can't keep this cycle up. If I am being asked to stay and wait, then I need...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Its such a cold day in spring.

    ..cold just like how I'm feeling. Im trying so hard to keep myself busy yet my mind is occupied with thoughts of him. I will miss him...I miss his warmth and I know I'll always love this man with all of my heart no matter how much pain I'm feeling. But I'm not going to live a lie...
    waitingonfaith waitingonfaith 31-35 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 28 Responses May 6, 2014

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 88 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 27 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    If someone who knows they have a deep emotional

    and physical connection and obsesses over you, why wouldn't they make an effort to change their lives to make room for the kind of happiness that you could offer each other? I understand hurting others is sometimes involved which is terrible! But wouldn't it be more fair to...
    joyfulcloudofsorrow joyfulcloudofsorrow 31-35, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 47 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    The Clarity From Relationship Uncertainty.

    ... I read something from another OW's post that started me off on an introspective journey ... To paraphrase her " if i do not hear absolutely , how much he loves, desires , and cares about me the rest of what he says fades in to idle chatter " Ping ! i got her ...I have been...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 3 mins ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Well.... Like I've said,

    my MM kept saying nothing has changed, listen to what he says, he still loves me, he's just busy with the new baby, etc. We talk everyday. I haven't heard from him since Friday. I tried texting him today, no response. I think I already knew it was like grasping on to sand in my...
    lit4love lit4love 26-30, F 4 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Funny story to share

    for the women that feel hopeless like me... I went to get coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts and right when I was leaving the place Better in time by Leona Lewis came on the radio. I thought that was a sign from God to let me know that it will get better in time and that I will move on...
    sadpreciosa sadpreciosa 26-30, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 15 Responses May 4, 2014

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Had a great day/night partying with family

    and friends. Just what I needed. Lots of drinking to drown my sorrows, which I never do, but it helped. I'm getting stronger and more over this situation. Mm hasn't contacted me and that's helping too. I guess I sort of wish it stays this way. There's plenty of fish in the sea...
    ilycc06 ilycc06 31-35, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    It's been a week since my daughter took her

    overdose. She is doing well, and getting lots of help and support from some amazing health care professionals. MM has been giving me lots of space, no pressure, no demands, just the odd call or message to see if everything is ok. Last night, really late, he sends me this. It...
    typist123 typist123 36-40, F 7 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I've made myself physically ill.

    I need a time frame from him. Ladies, how do I ask that? Without pushing... I can't do this...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    17 reasons why ppl have an affair.

    Which one(s) are you?? http://www.alternet.org/story/87528/what_kind_of_adulterer_are_you
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 48 Responses Jan 10

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 27 Responses a week ago

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    did he really not love me?

    why am i always easily tossed aside?
    xalotlikex xalotlikex 22-25, F 4 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Didn't check in here yesterday.

    had a night out with work. Made sure to post photos this morning as I knew I looked well. Haven't posted a photo since we split. kinda put it up for me but also a small part to show him what he is missing...... I know I shouldn't care but its difficult to break the ties from him...
    Livealifeyoulove Livealifeyoulove 36-40, F 9 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Day 1 of no contact. I need to be stronger

    this time. I've agreed to one email a month so we can keep up with what is happening in each other's lives. Does that still count as NC? I just need more from him. And I'm afraid I'll be waiting forever.
    Journeys2013 Journeys2013 41-45, F 12 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Arghhhhhh...... Having a horrible weekend!

    I am beside myself with anger, just complete blinding rage!!! When I become single again, I will be staying that way! Some people get lucky in relationships, some don't. Obviously I am the latter, I give up!!!
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 10 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I don't know how I feel anymore

    or how he feels it's been going on for so long now we've seem each other at least once a month since we met-maybe it's because I expert to see him again I dunno-but I'm just numb-starting our 4th year and beyond being addicted I'm just wondering if I'm worn out. I have my heart...
    Readytomoveon2015 Readytomoveon2015 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 154 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    Friends Fwb (with both) Mistress (to

    both husband & wife) Mistress (to just husband) They're relationship was doomed before they tied the knot. Right after they get hitched she begins to loose her **** bc she expected it to suddenly be a fairy tail. They use me as a buffer. He still sleeps with me. He likes me...
    BobbyBlack7589 BobbyBlack7589 22-25, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    MM.. Why did you do this to me?

    You told me you would never just disappear.. Maybe you haven't . Maybe I'm just overreacting. I know you are out of the country, but why didn't you call before you left? It's been two months and no word. Did you try to stop over before you left? Did something happen? When are...
    andwhatnow andwhatnow 31-35, F 4 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    For those singles involved with a married

    man/woman, even those who are both married and involved in affairs, have you ever talked with your APs about not sleeping with their spouses? I read from an old posts that if an MM is still sleeping with the wife then he isn't serious with you/the other woman; although, that...
    isch71 isch71 26-30, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today he heads back home from 8 days away with

    his friends. He's had the blow out and fun away from the drama he has left behind. It's been 8 days since he finished with her. He's stayed in contact with me loads this week, mostly all good apart from me asking him some emotional stuff half way through but he reacted well...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm going on day seven,

    fighting urge to contact him and also realization that I need to let him go. This is an awful feeling and I've tried it before but caved at first sight of him. I'm tired of feeling like I'm so last on his list and he could walk away so easily with no second thoughts. It was so...
    ayliffe ayliffe 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I love getting unexpected text messages from MM.

    All he says is "thinking of you". He's going through such a rough time at home it means so much to know I'm still on his mind. I though he might need some space but he says he needs me. I'm glad to know that some how just being here for him makes things better. All the normal...
    ladylove0113 ladylove0113 36-40, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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