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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,444 People

    Conversation between me

    and him. I need an outsiders perspective that is in the role as the OW. I don't know how to take it all. Me: "You tell me you want me here for you. That you care and love me. But that I shouldn't be here because I'll always come in second in your life. However I deserve more...
    Risktakingflirtation Risktakingflirtation 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I decided to delete some of my other posts

    because they just had too many details, and I guess being the OW makes me a little paranoid. Anyhow, I'm the crazy who called MM house, and he's the crazy who handed his wife the phone. I wish I could go into all of it again. This was 4 nights ago, and since then we've...
    RoseColouredGlasses RoseColouredGlasses 26-30, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 22 Responses May 6

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    What am I going to say

    or do if she comes across texts or emails between us? What am I going to do? I know why, i know the answers to all her questions. I just don't know what I will do.
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Just having readqueenfl's last post (it was

    really good), I'm now feeling confused / angry and tired /sad / broken. I love this guy, and the writing speaks for itself. I feel stupid, I really do believe I mean a lot to him or he wouldn't call me every day text me all day long, come to see me 2-3 times a week etc however...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I have had an epiphany.

    On one of my post earlier a man had commented that if he were to have an affair it would be for fun and excitement. And that he would do the same things my MM does to me, ie: call at the last moment, expect me to drop everything and run to him and only get a hold of me when it...
    freddiesgirl69 freddiesgirl69 41-45, F 27 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 163 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    I think....I think I was on a bus the first

    time the reality of the situation hit me. I was on my way to see him, an d the sense of overwhelming sadness encased me. Had I really fallen so far from morality? The girl everyone had always defended to be the next things closet to an angelic figure in all aspects...fallen far...
    SleepyHead2123 SleepyHead2123 18-21 3 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    "Sometimes you have to walk away from people,

    not because you don't care, but because they don't." This fits how I'm feeling today perfectly. I finally decided to contact him after he blew off our plans on Saturday. He gave me another stupid excuse and half *** apology. I'm realizing that between starting my new job and...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 6 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I have, in the last month,

    become involved with a man who is engaged. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but one day it just kind of did. I've been reading stories here for the last few days trying to gain perspective. Our situation is unique in the fact that we can see each other more than most, he...
    belsu belsu 26-30, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    I've been working on trying to move on from

    everything. I've been thinking of him a little less. But then someone came up to me trying to star problems apparently he has been telling people that nothing ever happened and that it's disgusting to even think about and he's telling girls he's friends with to deal with me. I...
    Khaleesii Khaleesii 18-21, F 38 mins ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    candybuck candybuck 36-40, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 73 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    I don't believe in a thing called a sexless

    marriage, how is such a thing possible? Doesn't the other spouse wonder where the partner goes to satisfy themselves? A friend of mine mentioned age hadn't had sex with her husband for a year and I nearly collapsed. That was 3 years ago. Ever since the affair I hear of this all...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 10 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 2

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    Oooooo I just love it

    when the trolls fear me enough to block me ;) galdran (who got touched on a train...really?!) And shellsea girl. Notably they post on each other's experiences, so evidently followed each other here to set us straight. Let us all give thanks, ladies!
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

    For those of you who haven't read my story (since been deleted) I'm the woman who was involved with a married man for a year and a half and got pregnant in April. Everybody, even his wife knows. So, since they don't feel an urge to respond to my admittedly slightly rude...
    nonameplease74 nonameplease74 36-40, F 2 Responses 39 mins ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    When I entered into this relationship with my

    MM, I never had the intention of breaking up his marriage; nor do I have the intention now. So I often find myself wondering why I'm even bothering with being with someone I can never truly have. He is my first love and I know it is true in my heart because I always vowed to...
    hiddennlove hiddennlove 18-21, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 18 Responses May 4

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    I was so relieved to find this forum,

    it instantly made me feel not half as alone as i have been.I have been reading so many stories here and fine myself nodding at everything i can relate to.It has taken me a few days to share my story but today has been a very tough day and i just feel i need to vent! We are over...
    Jellytots2412 Jellytots2412 36-40, F 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 89 Responses Aug 10

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    I'm not the other woman

    but Just curious for all you women dating MM. Why do you guys do it? Especially for the ones that become emotionally attached and become hurt when he refuses to leave his wife for you? Like what did you get into the relationship expecting? Or was it something you did for casual...
    Lylee2010 Lylee2010 18-21, F 8 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I've been with the same MM on & off

    for the last 11 years. When we're good, WE'RE GOOD! But when we're on bad terms, it's like being a part of a horrific train wreck! He recently celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary. A few weeks before that, I asked if he knew what his W had gotten him. His response was 'I...
    Sway72 Sway72 41-45, F 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    So many things have become

    so much clearer since he passed. Like the whole polyamorous relationship he wanted, part of it was for him, but a bigger part was for her. He tested me, told me all the bad things he could, to see if I would run. I never even flinched. He wanted someone there for her when the...
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    The w came home yesterday

    after 9 day vaca. He got off chat cause she was home. Didn't hear from him until 930 this morning. Should u just keep my distance today?
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Hi ladies, I need your advice.

    I think I just ended it with my mm ( I have not posted our back story yet) and it's for a reason I would have never imagined. I am a Vikings fan and for those of you who don't know, one of their players was just indicted for child abuse. He took a switch to his 4 year olds...
    sturner1 sturner1 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    RANT: So far, there have been 2

    or more thoughtless pieces of advice today alone about "go find a single man" or stuff along those lines. Who here has tried to date other men while hung up on their MM? Does it actually help? I know that if I'm already hung up on a person, then meeting new people doesn't help...
    beneboo beneboo 26-30, F 9 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    So it's been two weeks of nc

    but it's driving me crazy I miss him so much that i want to call him but I'm scared. :-(
    confused7years confused7years 36-40, F 3 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses 5 days ago

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    Day 7 NC. Even though I know this is absolutely

    for the best and he has hurt me so much......the missing him and the yearning and the longing hurt 10,00 times worst. I can't stop imagining them together....gawd this is so hard.
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Hi ladies, I need your advice.

    I think I just ended it with my mm (I have not posted our back story) and it's for a reason I would have never imagined. I am a Vikings fan and for those of you who don't know, one of their players was just indicted for child abuse. He took a switch to his 4 year olds bare...
    sturner1 sturner1 36-40, F 6 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 18 Responses Apr 29

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 43 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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