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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,054 People

    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    Just an update to my post from yesterday: he

    emailed me this evening! How great do I feel by not making myself too 'available' and having some sense of control?! I actually like playing hard to get....so he will get a response tomorrow. ;-)
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 14 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    I've decided tomorrow is the day I end it,

    I should probably do it now but I'm pretty emotional the minute from something he has just said and I'll just say things that I will regret. I dont want to be hurtful to him even who he's breaking my heart right now. My mind is made up and I just hope I have the courage to do it...
    Prettybutterfly88 Prettybutterfly88 26-30, F 4 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 94 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 17 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 157 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Shortly after I posted this morning,

    he called. Wondering if I wanted to hang out. So we did. All day. And the best part of it was that we got to talk. Talk deeply about what did happen or didn't; the pain that I felt; my desire for him to not feel like he had to now overcompensate for "what he did to me". He feels...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 2 hrs ago

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    Just read this and it describes exactly my

    relationship with exMM. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I haven't posted here in a long,

    long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife. I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM. But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took...
    crazycontrolled crazycontrolled 36-40, F 24 Responses Apr 30

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    I fell down a well this morning of reading

    articles about infidelity, partly because I think I'm an emotional masochist and partly because I need it reinforced that he's never leaving and he's never coming back. They all, unequivocally, said 99% of married people don't leave and they lie to you just as much, if not more...
    inaraserra inaraserra 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Stressing out about NC.

    It's been about 3 weeks. He's given me no real concrete evidence he cares at all.....why do I still think he cares? Is it because I love him so much? No one ever truly "got me" like him. I know I'll never replace that. His wife saw out texts and hatefully confronted me...
    Blissfulbeauty Blissfulbeauty 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    As a personal rule, I never make first contact.

    We only email and text during working hours unless he contacts me after. We have an office romance without us even working together. After not hearing from him since Friday, he finally made contact on Wednesday with a poem. I felt nothing. It didn't move me. I read it as a...
    BeauKitty BeauKitty 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 27 Responses May 6, 2014

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    I know he and I will take time to be able to be

    out in the open. He's fully using the word separated now. I have plans with friends today, and for that I am thankful; estranged W is with MM and his family today for 4th of July. He told me, "so I wouldn't be angry." I get it. It's like the times I go to dinner with my exH with...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hope all of you strong

    and beautiful ladies have a great 4th of July! I plan on it myself! On the MM front, I have been very surprised this time around. I have let him take the initiative on contacting me and he has. Also last time I saw him, he said he wouldn't be able to get together this coming...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I remember being 14 years old,

    hearing about those "nasty" women who homewreck married relationships- thinking, "ugh! How disgusting! Don't they have feelings or emotions? How heartless" I never knew that they were just normal women. Or, even better, I didn't know I'm going to become one of those women I...
    RedShootingStar RedShootingStar 18-21, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Yes the block button works .

    ...I have tried it and is still using it ..For the idiot who said i am emotional and full of rage .You can not be so wrong I am Happy as can be...Perfect time in my life.All is good on this end lmao
    peachy115 peachy115 51-55, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I did it....I finally told my husband,

    after 7 months of separation, that we will not get back together. The hurt in his face and eyes were priceless. I cried more than I've cried ever in my life. He told me he didn't want to talk to me for a while. Which I guess was my goal. But it hurts...we are friends but not...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I wanted to write this story from the

    perspective of a Married person(MM or MW) having an affair. This was triggered by a question someone posted yesterday, asking Why MM needs the other woman and why the MM can't leave the Ws so easily. Talking from the perspective of a Married person, sometimes things are very...
    Jazz045 Jazz045 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 25

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    He continues to be crazy busy at work,

    working loads of overtime and he still makes time. Things are just amazing.
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 48 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Well, another unexpected turn of events.

    H, who is generally introverted and quiet, spoke to someone about our relationship. I don't know who, but this person shared ridiculous information about me having slept around and cheated on him over the past year. It's untrue, but since I recently told H about MM (and we were...
    Julianne2222 Julianne2222 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I recently got a new job

    that I have to travel for. It would be easier .. and I would live closer to colleagues of mine if I move about 4 hours away, but.... I don't want to because of him (and a fee for ending my lease early). I know I should think of myself first since we will never be together, but...
    andwhatnow andwhatnow 31-35, F 6 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Here on EP I met another 'other woman'

    and we clicked. Almost a year ago now and we talk every single day. Well yesterday we travelled the country and met half way for the first time an had an amazing weekend away together! Lots of good food, drinks, dancing and laughs! Best friend for life!! Just thought I would...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19

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    No one person can ever know the future.

    Everytime i hear my loves voice and i receive a beautiful message from him. . . I am reminded. . . How fragile and precious love really Is . . . We have to intentionally honor eachother. . . . I promised him i would never take US for granted. . . writing here. . . Is my safe...
    Strawberrygiggles Strawberrygiggles 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Update from a tent. They put up a new cell

    tower. We won't be chatting this week, but at least there will be messages. Yesterday was tough, traveling with my H has never been good, my stress level was through the roof. But settled on the lake, with son, daughter-in-law, grand kids, and puppy, along quite paddle by myself...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 23 Responses Mar 22

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I'm actually going to get my HEA.

    .. Is this real life... He's sleeping in the guest room, will be moving temporarily into his parents next week. He was texting me... He was quiet. Just said he was reflective. Then all of a sudden he knocked on the door... We made love, laughed, cuddled, talked... This is for...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Ok... For those who were reading my story.

    Right after he said all the really mean things he did. He said he was trying to convince me he was an *******. That we wouldn't work. Was trying to convince himself it wouldn't work. We hang out twice this week. It was great. I started to get some acceptance. I said we would...
    heartbreak13 heartbreak13 31-35, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Adjusting. Lots of future talk,

    suddenly. I didn't prepare for this level of emotion when it came to this stage. Seems like there is a lot of processing that goes along with a transition from being the OW to not being that any longer. I'm still secret though and quite honestly, won't feel like I'm "out of the...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Hi ladies! I hope you all had a wonderful 4th

    of July! I have a question to ask. Do you expect to hear from MM on holidays/weekends? Why or why not?
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 78 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 170 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Looking back it is funny how easily I fell into

    the trap of becoming 'the other woman.' The first flash of distress - a wounded soul no less, and I dived into the murky water. He told me that I was his oxygen. I was a mermaid Saint Bernard with the reviving elixir strapped to my neck. Strangely, I found two unmarried men...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 21

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 45 Responses Jan 10

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 50 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    So confused still, MM

    and I had this flirty message thing going on and would message all the time (was both ways) he has now stopped all flirty communication. Yet last night H and I went over there for drinks and MM still found a time to kiss me, he has now barely been in contact all day. I don't...
    iamnooneyouknow iamnooneyouknow 31-35, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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