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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,052 People

    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 45 Responses Jan 10

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    I'm actually going to get my HEA.

    .. Is this real life... He's sleeping in the guest room, will be moving temporarily into his parents next week. He was texting me... He was quiet. Just said he was reflective. Then all of a sudden he knocked on the door... We made love, laughed, cuddled, talked... This is for...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 42 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 170 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 50 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Well, another unexpected turn of events.

    H, who is generally introverted and quiet, spoke to someone about our relationship. I don't know who, but this person shared ridiculous information about me having slept around and cheated on him over the past year. It's untrue, but since I recently told H about MM (and we were...
    Julianne2222 Julianne2222 36-40, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 78 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I don't know if I should talk to him about this

    disconnect I am feeling. I don't feel fully engaged in this anymore. I want to be, but I don't know how to fix it. On the other hand, I don't want to put a lot of effort into 'fixing' this if it is a better place for him. I would probably not even consider talking about it with...
    solace73 solace73 41-45, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I fell down a well this morning of reading

    articles about infidelity, partly because I think I'm an emotional masochist and partly because I need it reinforced that he's never leaving and he's never coming back. They all, unequivocally, said 99% of married people don't leave and they lie to you just as much, if not more...
    inaraserra inaraserra 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    As a personal rule, I never make first contact.

    We only email and text during working hours unless he contacts me after. We have an office romance without us even working together. After not hearing from him since Friday, he finally made contact on Wednesday with a poem. I felt nothing. It didn't move me. I read it as a...
    BeauKitty BeauKitty 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 23 Responses Mar 22

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    Just an update to my post from yesterday: he

    emailed me this evening! How great do I feel by not making myself too 'available' and having some sense of control?! I actually like playing hard to get....so he will get a response tomorrow. ;-)
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Yes the block button works .

    ...I have tried it and is still using it ..For the idiot who said i am emotional and full of rage .You can not be so wrong I am Happy as can be...Perfect time in my life.All is good on this end lmao
    peachy115 peachy115 51-55, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I remember being 14 years old,

    hearing about those "nasty" women who homewreck married relationships- thinking, "ugh! How disgusting! Don't they have feelings or emotions? How heartless" I never knew that they were just normal women. Or, even better, I didn't know I'm going to become one of those women I...
    RedShootingStar RedShootingStar 18-21, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Still sitting in my pajamas wondering

    why the words that I want to say won't come out of my mouth. Usually I just don't want to ruin a good day. I worry about him all the time. I have followed what he said to me long ago. "If they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone." But there are some things...
    independentandstubborn independentandstubborn 51-55, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    My affair ended after 5 years.

    We have been in limited contact for 2 months. Rarely I have slipped and flirted with him. This past week he has been finding excuses to contact me and flirt with me. My feelings on this have been numb to quietly happy. We work together so complete NC is not possible. Well...
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 94 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 157 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Hi ladies! I hope you all had a wonderful 4th

    of July! I have a question to ask. Do you expect to hear from MM on holidays/weekends? Why or why not?
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 11 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I wanted to write this story from the

    perspective of a Married person(MM or MW) having an affair. This was triggered by a question someone posted yesterday, asking Why MM needs the other woman and why the MM can't leave the Ws so easily. Talking from the perspective of a Married person, sometimes things are very...
    Jazz045 Jazz045 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 25

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    My ears are burning. He left about 30 minutes

    ago. The words didn't come out the right way as I knew that they wouldn't but I did touch on a few subjects. I let him know that I have went by him telling me if they're talking about me they're leaving someone else alone. But that there are somethings that I don't want him to...
    independentandstubborn independentandstubborn 51-55, F 4 hrs ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    He continues to be crazy busy at work,

    working loads of overtime and he still makes time. Things are just amazing.
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Looking back it is funny how easily I fell into

    the trap of becoming 'the other woman.' The first flash of distress - a wounded soul no less, and I dived into the murky water. He told me that I was his oxygen. I was a mermaid Saint Bernard with the reviving elixir strapped to my neck. Strangely, I found two unmarried men...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 21

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    Stressing out about NC.

    It's been about 3 weeks. He's given me no real concrete evidence he cares at all.....why do I still think he cares? Is it because I love him so much? No one ever truly "got me" like him. I know I'll never replace that. His wife saw out texts and hatefully confronted me...
    Blissfulbeauty Blissfulbeauty 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I thought this beautiful man the sparkling

    stars in the sky raining down light like laughter into my waiting fertile heart. He said he was in no man's land. I painted the sky with colour and I blossomed for him. I quivered, expanded and exploded with love. And yet, we remained divided. By a chasm that was only a metre...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    So confused still, MM

    and I had this flirty message thing going on and would message all the time (was both ways) he has now stopped all flirty communication. Yet last night H and I went over there for drinks and MM still found a time to kiss me, he has now barely been in contact all day. I don't...
    iamnooneyouknow iamnooneyouknow 31-35, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I am the other woman.

    Could not be happier! Not a soul knows except the two of us. I consider him safe, the relationship safe. He fulfills my every desire and need. I will his other woman till he says goodbye.
    jeepgirl2012 jeepgirl2012 36-40, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    Here on EP I met another 'other woman'

    and we clicked. Almost a year ago now and we talk every single day. Well yesterday we travelled the country and met half way for the first time an had an amazing weekend away together! Lots of good food, drinks, dancing and laughs! Best friend for life!! Just thought I would...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 14 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 27 Responses May 6, 2014

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    How much do you expect them to do things

    when they say they will.....like I will connect with you when i return, etc. I find this rather aggravating to me anymore. I shouldnt have to be constantly bringing it up either. How do you handle this?
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 55 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    He seems to really be trying to get back into

    my life in some capacity. Mutual friends have sent screenshots of his FB posts to me that have subtle references of me. He has recommended me for two positions that would require me to work closely with him. One in particular would be a good opportunity for me as I am...
    ravenofthedark ravenofthedark 41-45, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Just read this and it describes exactly my

    relationship with exMM. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    Adjusting. Lots of future talk,

    suddenly. I didn't prepare for this level of emotion when it came to this stage. Seems like there is a lot of processing that goes along with a transition from being the OW to not being that any longer. I'm still secret though and quite honestly, won't feel like I'm "out of the...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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