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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,512 People

    OhMyGoodness! I've been away from here

    for a bit tending to other things, but today definitely merits an update! A little background for those who don't know my story, it has been one year and ten months since I saw my exAP and one year and 4 months since I walked away from our relationship. In the aftermath, I ended...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F 19 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 2

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    Not sure how to feel today.

    I found out last night that MM got offered a full-time position back home (where we're both originally from) with his current employer. He's taking it, obviously. It starts next month. Less than 4 weeks. However, W is going to remain here with her mother for the duration of the...
    kc5316 kc5316 22-25, F 19 mins ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Should we always go with our intuition?

    Usually mine is spot on but I can't prove anything with a gut feeling. I wasn't with him today, im usually with him everyday but today I wasn't. He very well could have been at the office but it's unlikely considering its shabbos so his day ends early. I have a gut feeling he...
    SweetAsSugar10 SweetAsSugar10 22-25 5 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I am feeling feisty today!

    I just received an email from my MM, responding to the one I sent him 2 days ago. In it, I stated how lucky his W was that she gets to physically be near him and sleep with him all the time. The first sentence of his response was "She is very much in love with me indeed." He...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 5 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Had a date last night.

    .....with a single guy. Went well. Mm asked to talk tomorrow evening instead of afternoon........figures when it's over I can get him to come over Saturday night...... But I have a second date with single guy so I declined. It hurt and I actually thought about canceling and...
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 7 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Just a quick update. Me

    and my mm are still seeing each other (kinda) Thank you all for your messages and suport, i really apreciate it.
    xxjellybabyxx xxjellybabyxx 26-30, F 18 hrs ago

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    As the picture shows,

    I hope he wakes up soon to what we have. Stop thinking that countless insignificant women are the answer, that commitment is useless. I won't be around forever.
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 90 Responses Aug 10

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    The only ppl who DON'T message me to hook-up

    are members of I Am The OW or I Had An Affair experiences. Sooo..the 'lying cheaters' are the only users who message for legit reasons. And..all the rest are married men..!
    MillieJadexx MillieJadexx 36-40, F 7 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Ladies... Just for you.

    ..  <img src='data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAPABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw%3D%3D' width='1' height='1' /><img src='data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAPABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw%3D%3D' width='1' height='1' />
    Grace7277 Grace7277 31-35, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    I am somewhat hesiyant to write here

    and not sure why. I feel like i am in this hurdle. My mm tells me the things i want to hear... i just dont know if they are real or not. He has a high profile job and is on call all the time. I find myself getting jealous for the first time in my life. I want him to do all...
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    All the other guys have one problem.

    They aren't him. And he doesn't want me. He never did. What we had was just by circumstance, something that fell into place. We spent a wonderful night together and from then on he was cold and disconnected and distant. He blamed it on crazy work schedule and some other stuff...
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 163 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    This is interesting to me.

    He is working this weekend again. He said good night last night via chat. Was too tired to chat because it was a "long day". Mainly 3 sentences back and fourth. This morning he chats. Wife is taking nieces to amusement park today. Went into details of what time she is...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 35 mins ago

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    Another day with my AP out of the office.

    Although I did get some work done, I totally missed him. We have a big event to work tomorrow and then my boss is gone all next week. I am so looking forward to work. AP is out in the field for a half a day Monday, but when he returns, it's on. Do any of you other ladies have an...
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 7 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 20 Responses May 6

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    prettygoddess prettygoddess 26-30, F 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 17 Responses Apr 29

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Lately, life seems to be.

    .. a lot of work. (Which, incidentally, explains why I have not posted here in a while.) In addition to my research job, I am moonlighting at our state university (Professor BoudoirWhispers! Ha!) to make ends meet since mathematicians' salaries are pathetic and I have to keep two...
    BoudoirWhispers BoudoirWhispers 46-50, F 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 70 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    A few nights ago, my MM was texting me

    while he drank. Apparently, he had passed out before we could say goodnight, so I sent him one last message and set my phone down. Maybe half an hour later I get a message from a number similar to his telling me good evening. It was his wife. Long story short, we ended up...
    strivingforsanity strivingforsanity 22-25, F 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 142 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    Day one of less contact went ok.

    There were msgs but maybe 10 compared to an average 200. He's out tonight. Makes me feel sick. he won't think of me. He will look at other women because that's what he does. I've seen him do it. My husband never does. My husband looks at me always and tells me I'm beautiful...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    My MM keeps telling me

    that his wife doesn't deserve what we're doing to her. Clearly he doesn't believe that enough to not do it, as we've been at this for over a year now, but he says it often enough that it is burned into my brain. She will never find out. They're moving out of state next week...
    inaraserra inaraserra 31-35, F 6 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 4 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    He's on his way out of town.

    He stopped by for a hug and kiss. I thought I wasn't going to hear from him until Monday. I'm happy I got to see him, only if it was for 10 mins. :)
    dolovf dolovf 26-30, F 11 hrs ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 80 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 80 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    Please, do not stop posting.

    ... I may not be the best person to make this request because I have only participated on the forum for just a few months. But I am so glad I had a place to go. I can not begin to tell you how supportive you ladies have been during my time of heart aches, up swings, troubles...
    saiyagyrl saiyagyrl 36-40, F 4 Responses May 26

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 16 Responses Apr 19

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    Finally i hear him on the 10th day.

    . Short and simple just to confirm our meeting next week for 5 hours. So what the medium said was quiet accurate actually when he said that my ap would be in contact me today.
    prettygoddess prettygoddess 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    Update: It’s a long one sorry….

    So my ExMM came here and read my last post….he had promised me he would never invade my privacy again (he has come here in the past and read some of my stories) but oh well whatcha gonna do…Well it’s been close to a month since I have posted so I thought I would fill y...
    daisydew1973 daisydew1973 41-45, F 1 hr ago

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    I just did something I've never done in the

    past 4 months...it's a lil past midnight & he calls...and I didn't answer!! He's so used to me answering every time no matter the day or time. I need to be less available for him sometimes... Wonder what he's thinking right now..he's super jealous...
    Sidechic79 Sidechic79 31-35 7 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    So i'm at the airport waiting

    for my flight to see him ... It has been 3 months and 4 days since the last time we have been together ... Omg. I'm excited but I already worried about the days after seeing him ... I wanted to ask him about Tons of things ... But i know he will just ignore my question and kiss...
    iloveuox iloveuox 26-30, F 8 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Saw him today, just for a little bit,

    but it's always wonderful when I get the chance to see him. Twice in the last 2 weeks which is a lot for us. I've decided I'm just going to enjoy the moments as they come for now. I'm feeling better about the whole situation for some reason lately. But he said something...
    firstlove111 firstlove111 41-45, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    So tired ..... need sleep.

    ... have a double date tonight with mm but I don't want to go :(
    ap05 ap05 26-30, F 3 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    I was feeling really good

    after our conversation. I felt empowered. Of course, something crossed my mind today, and I'm pissed once again. During our conversation yesterday, he asked if I was going to a certain country concert tonight. We both love country music. We actually saw one of tonight's...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    He just called me, he said he was mad

    and had nothing to say but thought he should call before he leaves tomorrow at 4am. He said be good and don't wait for my messages because I will struggle but I will try to text you everyday. He's so sweet but hurts me that he's still mad at me and will be away for a whole week...
    Missy1179 Missy1179 31-35, F 5 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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