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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,461 People

    I am so ******* stupid.

    Why or how could I have done this to myself? I finally contacted him today, to let him know how I have been feeling. He told me to call him because he was waiting for a tow truck. So I called him and explained how I was feeling. I wasn't very eloquent about it, I stumbled...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 10 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I can't help but shake the feeling

    that he's going to end this. He can't get over my past even though he's known about it this whole 2.5 years. I can't stand not being around him. He's my best friend but I feel like he's growing distant from me. I'm not sure how the divorce is going, since I don't ask. Is that a...
    RedHotPepper RedHotPepper 26-30, F 4 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Had to delete all of my previous posts

    because I'm pretty sure that SHE found my page and that's how she knew about me before he even told her.
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    I'm nowhere near there yet

    but I know this can't last forever. What's it like when it all ends? I suppose there are many ways it can end, but how do you deal with the loss when it finally happens?
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 8 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    Has anyone been following the Mark & Jenny

    Sanford divorce? If not, he was the former gov of South Carolina who was caught having an affair about 2-3 years ago. His marriage ended and he tried to reestablish his life with his ap. Well, his ex wife is a very bitter & vindictive woman who can't seem to let him go. She has...
    Breeze62 Breeze62 51-55, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 73 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Another great ending to the work day.

    I love when things fall right into place when you least expect them to. Glad I wore my thigh highs today.
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    Going to dark places in my head.

    Keep trying to push through them and I succeed for a while but they keep coming back.
    GenieH22 GenieH22 36-40, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Broke things off with my MM.

    After he compared me to his wife I kept getting a little more angry everytime I thought about it so I told him once he compared me to the wife, it was time for me to move on. We love each other but we are both so stubborn this will finish the relationship. I have a small sense...
    Gossipgirl1408 Gossipgirl1408 41-45, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Just had a three hour conversation with him on

    the phone after he told his wife about us, it was fine but he seemed distant toward the end when I asked where it left us and what would happen next, which is to be expected. Said he would still like to see me as friends and that we just have to be careful because he doesn't...
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Can I please get a guys opinion,

    or even a woman doesn't matter who you are just if you can make sense of this way of thinking! When I care about someone I can't stop thinking of them, want to be around them all the time .. To a reasonable degree. I miss them when they are gone. My mm tells me he thinks of me...
    megansunshine megansunshine 18-21, F 8 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    We had a nice visit this evening.

    I picked up Chinese food, of course after eating our visit moved to the back seat. He calls me on my way home and says "we needed that.....Chinese food" I said "yes I had been thinking all week about that.......Chinese food" lol
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I'm so tired of the trolls on here,

    I'm going through a very difficult situation I'm trying to handle it all the best way I can. I was looking for advice from women who understand. Not judgement from the self righteous who have never done a thing wrong in their lives.
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 33 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    So mm and I had lunch today.

    It was super awkward.....I don't know why. I'm a really awkward person, so I guess I was just feeling exceptionally awkward today. He said he didn't notice, but I think he was just being nice. It didn't help that the waitress at the restaurant was hitting on him and being...
    PrincessLolita PrincessLolita 26-30, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    Have u ladies ever imagined ur life living with

    ur mm ? Like would u accept his bad habits (or do u know any of his bad habit yet?) would u still love him for who he is ? I know as OW, we usually get to see our mm once awhile and normally we would hang out/have lunch/dinner with them ... So we probably don't have the full...
    oxoi oxoi 26-30, F 14 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    I am spending a lot of time on EP

    as a distraction from the storm that us my life right now. I have a strange question. Has anyone ever been involved in a polyamorous relationship? I sound ludicrous right now and will get A LOT of flack for this, but I've come to realise that my problem with my relationship...
    RoseColouredGlasses RoseColouredGlasses 26-30, F 4 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 29

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    I guess I am here because I don't know

    where else to go to release. We have mutual friends who know our situation and don't judge but when things get tough and I fall apart they are the ones that pick up the pieces and I don't want them to end up hating him or frustrated with me, the constant "he's just having his...
    mayarose3 mayarose3 26-30, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 160 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 43 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 20 Responses a week ago

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    I didn't know he was married

    until just now. He's older (38) in the military so I assumed he wasn't married because we go out a lot and he didn't seem cautious or anything about being seen. I feel horrible I should have known something was wrong. I like him but I don't want to ruin some ones family. What do...
    honeybree20 honeybree20 18-21, F 10 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    9 days today NC. This hurts

    so much. Wonder if he hurts at all? Sure wish I had some girlfriends to talk to. Living in a new town and I don't know anyone. It's lonely tonight. *sigh
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 9 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    I am so crushed tonight.

    I haven't felt anything like this in a very long time. How he ignored me today and couldn't even be bothered to respond to my text at all for the rest of the day, hurt me to my core. I told myself I would not like this happen, that I was stronger than that. Well, I did and...
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 31-35, F 8 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    RedSheep 2 please get in touch with Monabrown

    you are going thru the same things, maybe you can support each other for NC.
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Saw him in person yesterday

    for a few hours. Just talked. I didn't get into the topic of contact. I wasn't in the mood for excuses and I knew if we "discussed" we would end up getting physical and I didn't want it. I think he was wondering why I didn't get physical and he didn't ask. It just seems...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Well a little over a month ago I "ended" it.

    .. He told me it would be hard for him not to keep trying... That was not true... He barely kept up any contact... We played a game on line.. And built me a big heart it was cute... Then weeks go by with maybe a text here and there "sorry been so busy" ... "I miss you" Then...
    jupsta jupsta 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 2

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    Is it just me thinking it

    or has everything gone mental these past few days for all of us? Full moon or something?!
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 6 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 22 Responses Jul 30

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    Today is a little better,

    she didn't send anymore texts. I am just going to go on with my life. I hate that she's hurting, but I know there is nothing I can say or do to make that better. I will continue to ignore and not engage her should she text me anymore. I know one thing, no more married men. This...
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    ****, I didn't think he'd do it

    but he has, he ******* told her about us.
    hankpalmer hankpalmer 18-21, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Spent 8 hours or so the past couple days with

    him. Decided to lead with kindness and compassion. For me and for him. And everything else is falling into place. And I found out today I've been scheduled for an interview on Friday. Huge promotion. Feeling great!
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 4 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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