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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 10,164 People

    This isn't about being the other woman but.

    ...I am in an odd situation and I just found a group of women that have gone/going thru he same experience. I really need that. I dont know what to do to straighten all of this mess out and no one really understands because they havent gone thru it. My best friend of 45 years...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 7 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 146 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    We hold hands all the time.

    Seriously. ALL the TIME. It's to the point where we don't even realize it. Sitting on the couch watching tele, sitting on the porch having drinks, laying in bed going to sleep... You always hold my hand. The touch of your hand is something I have always known. Zero doubt...
    RedHotPepper RedHotPepper 26-30, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Well, I did it. After 13 months of being

    together, I ended it with my MM yesterday. I feel a little relieved. I can't stop thinking about him and my anxiety is out the roof. I don't expect him to call today or tomorrow because it's the weekend and he's at home with his family. But what hurts the most is... I don't...
    warwithin12 warwithin12 26-30, F 8 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 23 Responses May 6

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    Trying to catch up and "meet" all the new faces

    here. I know weekends are hard on many of you lovely ladies and I just want you to know I'm thinking about you. LATE away football game last night, then of course baby girl was hungry (teenagers always are) so we had to stop and eat. I'm slow getting around today. Did manage...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 hr ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 16 Responses May 4

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 39 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 31-35, M 17 Responses Apr 19

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 47 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    He's in a mountain bike race today.

    The bib number he was given? My house number. Lol.
    greeneyes2232 greeneyes2232 41-45, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    Ive veen wondering myself,

    do i love him? Been thinking about runaway from him. But then something happened. He doesnt allow me to go home. I have to choose,stay at his place or we break up. And i just called my mom told her i cant come home in a while. Is it love?
    fraufraufrau fraufraufrau 26-30, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I really wish I knew exactly what his

    perception of this relationship is. Even though things are great and he is very loving and affectionate, without discussing things, we really are in a state of the unknown. This is not a terrible thing that I obsess over and I want to keep everything as enjoyable as possible...
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 8 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    There it is the little ping sound

    that tells me my MM has just found time on a Saturday to wish me a good morning. I act like Pavlov's dog, and a smile comes to my face before I even pick up the cell phone to read his message. I know that this sound means his W just got in the shower, and he giving me a second...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Got to chat with MM today.

    Unfortunately he has had to take on some extra responsibilities at work so it was sporadic but am still thankful for more than a day of NC. We weren't able to see each other this week but are planning for Monday. Missing him but looking forward to being together.
    forbidden67 forbidden67 46-50, F 40 mins ago

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    I just responded to a post on here

    which got me to thinking (yes, y'all are in trouble while I ramble). If you're not mature enough to handle being an OW, sugar don't go down that road. The statement was made that his OW called W and said they were getting married. Excuse me? She (the W) is not your...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 26 Responses Oct 8

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 36 Responses Sep 23

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    I couldn't be and neither he wanted me to be!

    He just confessed his love to me, in the lost moment of the lost life. Somehow he says, I complete him. I make everything easy and he doesn't even have to talk. Some how fate bring us in the most mysterious ways, sharing similarities or totally opposite characters, events...
    StrongWoman9 StrongWoman9 31-35, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    It's so odd how we share

    so much via text on the weekends. Not that we don't have great conversations in person, but like me, he is inclined to say more meaningful things when not face to face. As a person who does this, why can't I figure it out?
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 7 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    As I was saying yesterday my H forced me to

    swap cars...apparently he does know how hard it is to hook up in his Avenger. I found a headband between the passenger seat and console while with my MM last night. A few weeks ago I had found cigarettes in the passenger door (neither of us smoke) but I let it go. After MM...
    ynoTme83 ynoTme83 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 76 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    I do have to wonder sometimes what's going on

    between him and his wife, especially since she's found out about me and knows he's still seeing me...does she really not care that much? I suppose I could end my speculation and just ask, seeing as how he's always been very open and honest about that kind of thing with me...I...
    SweetHeresy SweetHeresy 22-25, F 10 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Other than keeping tabs on mm,

    what do wives do when they become suspicious of an affair?
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 3 Responses 50 mins ago

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    Ugh. Where do I even start?

    It's 4:47 a.m. and I'm awake. Just woke up with the dry heaves because I was unable to cope with what happened last night without abusing alcohol on my flight home. Context: Last Monday, he texted me that W was staying at a friend's house overnight on Friday. I asked him if...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 8 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I am a married woman contemplating an affair

    with a married man. It is already at the emotional stage just not at a physical one. However, I would never want him to leave his wife. I would never get a divorce. Am I the only one that feels like this?
    Oceanoftears Oceanoftears 41-45, F 15 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 2

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    Well here goes. I've been lurking

    for a few months now and decided it's time for me to write my feelings out. Married to a good man and an amazing dad. We have not been intimate in 4-5 months. In the last year, we have not been out on a date and I think we're at the point where we love each other but not in...
    kikimarie1978 kikimarie1978 36-40, F 46 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 31 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I know it's uncool and kind of creepy to check

    out the wife's social media, but I have been thinking a lot today and I had to satisfy my curiosity. She posted something yesterday that said, "Sometimes you miss the memories not the person." Interesting. Do any of you check out the W's Facebook/Twitter, etc., or your MM...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 35 Responses 2 days ago

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    I wonder what our coworkers think.

    AP is out with a few of them and he keeps texting me. I can tell he's a bit buzzed too. How bad is their company for him to be talking to me?
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 2 Responses 33 mins ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 20 Responses Jul 30

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 162 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I am completely trashed.

    Drunk. And all I want is to tell you all the horrible things that go in in my life. But that would kill our fun. Our vibe of safe and good and all things pleasant. Because that's what we have together. We are our happy place. We ***** a little but we come to enjoy each other. We...
    neverendingmadness neverendingmadness 36-40, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    The peace and quiet in this forum is amazing.

    Thank you Koko for all your hard work.
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 2 Responses 31 mins ago

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    So seriously. Did EVERYONE break up with their

    MM this week?? Jeez!! It's so gloomy here lately! So many endings. I'm so sorry for you all!! :(
    neverendingmadness neverendingmadness 36-40, F 13 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 45 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10

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    Ok so news flash...we argued last night (very

    tame one lol as we don't argue) but I got jealous over him cancelling our time next weekend as he forgot he booked a Halloween thing with her. I accused him of making it up and dumping me basically. He got angry by this. I knew he wouldn't do that. I even remembered the event...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Met on a business trip 2 years ago.

    The chemistry was so strong... didn't do anything the first time. Got chatting, and when I decided to take a trip to his country he showed me around. I fell, gave him a piece of my heart. I was engaged so it wasn't mine to give anymore. He claims he wasn't married, till this...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Anyone else feel like you're just really good

    friends? Yeah, we see each other and I know he loves his family, and they get along really nice, but you also don't mind being there. You don't consider it dating or 'seeing each other' but more of good friends hanging out together.
    StringedAlong StringedAlong 18-21, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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