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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,235 People

    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    Question for the OW that are married

    or in their own relationship also. Do you find it harder and harder to be intimate with your partners? How do you deal with this?
    joyfulcloudofsorrow joyfulcloudofsorrow 31-35, F 6 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I have such a feeling of calmness

    and peace when I'm with MM. Yesterday we had the entire afternoon together. He surprised me by taking me to the lakeshore. We walked along the boardwalk and found a nice spot on the rocks right by the water to sit and reflect. Beautiful swans were swimming by us and we both...
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    My guy is showing some signs of frustration.

    Family stuff has been building this week. Wife's upset with their house since seeing the new house her sister just bought. Son just broke up with long distance 4 month girl friend (only seeing each other every other week was to hard, really can we talk about 5 months). 30 year...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 168 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 25 Responses Mar 22

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    I don't know if I was overly sensitive.

    .. so last night, OM and I met up, and we made love again. it was incredible for both of us, it always is.. makes me feel connected to him. but as soon as we finished, he saw a message come through on his phone, it was his girlfriend, and he responded right away. it bothered...
    gianneisstuck gianneisstuck 31-35, F 9 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    Today he asked me to tell him what I needed,

    just name it and it would be done. I told him two months ago what my needs were and they weren't met. Even now I know he just doesn't want to lose me, and if I fell for his sweet words, the change would only be temporary, and he'd be right back to taking me for granted. It was...
    DarlingEll DarlingEll 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    I am so, so damn lucky!

    I am incredibly blessed. I am going to marry him.
    Randomgirl1122 Randomgirl1122 31-35, F 5 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    My heart beats and has beaten

    for more than one man. My husband, my heart now beats involuntarily for him. I love him. He is a fine man. But how can you continue to love a man, your husband, with your heart, body and soul, when the one man who vowed to love you for eternity does not, is not able to, love...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 204 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    SUSTAINING GROWTH! Through relationship

    characteristics. The OW forum is full of love ! I joke its power could hold the secret of regenerating a new life form. It is full of stories of OW falling in love, navigating taboos, getting explosively intimate quickly deeply. However the stories of happy committed women...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    What do you say when the most wonderful man

    you've ever had in your life, is laughing with you, so hard that neither one of you can catch your breath. Then he gets a very serious look, and tells you that you are "the love of my life."
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    http://lm.facebook.com/l.

    php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.idealistrevolution.org%2Fwhy-you-should-never-give-up-on-love%2F&h=5AQFp6y5r&enc=AZMp7vzI7pWWwxKc_IBpWC_WM-NWcR58xKWKE8gbkOf2Qv4E9BToxKo9yD2tka3TqpOOnLGK09i0Ws0V9Yuy1zHcF-gAgdfe13hjV_tH9AcCE7EzNo89-WMHbk9KzKYSIJ-IYTsSKh1RydxuHIguQQDiKgOl6R8a7nhkQQLywjMpzw&s...
    MRGFF MRGFF 36-40, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    PATIENCE or TAKING CHARGE !

    This is a dilemma that OW face throughout their relationship span. It does not matter if your relationship is just beginning and your blissfully being carried forward by NRE ( New Relationship Energy ) or whether you are a OW gold medalist ' Long term Mistress " aka with...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    Yesterday mm and I had a beautiful time outside

    laying in the sun talking holding each other and the obvious. Today I messaged him telling him how after seeing him I'm in a daze for hours, sitting in the quiet mesmerized thinking of him. He messaged me back telling me how alike we are as he sat outside at the same time...
    Janna78 Janna78 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Just a few questions

    for kindred spirits in this group :) 1. Do your APs run kinda hot and warm (won't say cold) but up and down? Sometimes it's like he can't get enough and it's intense and others it's just a bit low ( hard to explain). 2. I know some work with their AP so "see" them most days but...
    onlymeonlyme onlymeonlyme 46-50, F 9 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 48 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 52 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    Feeling so happy right now.

    My mm is off work today,but he still made the effort to travel several miles just to come and see me for half hour.He must be missing me too:)))) Not all mm are sex seeking arseholes some if not alot really do fall in love :))
    sooty1977 sooty1977 36-40, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I'm not going to win any "Best OW" award.

    I let fear and envy keep me from him. I let my desire to be first with him for a day keep me from seeing him at all. He's angry and he should be. I'm just sad.
    yourlastlove yourlastlove 51-55, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Is anyone of you ladies part of turn you on

    that you might get caught for me it is such high.
    fate1993 fate1993 18-21, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    So I'm heading to meet him

    for happy hour. This is the weekend he's supposed to tell her otherwise it won't be until June. I made it clear I can't wait any longer. He said it would be January and I've been waiting patiently. I can't live this way anymore. I never would've come back to him if he didn't...
    heartbroken1234 heartbroken1234 36-40, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 31 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 51 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I feel like crying right now.

    ..I'm in love with you but can never tell you for I know you don't feel the same. but I just want it out there so u can tell me you don't love me n I will be forced to get over you. I can't deal with this. I juaty can't anymore.
    ANGELKZ ANGELKZ 26-30, F 2 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    Today is a bad day...

    But I'll get through it because i have to.
    Prettybutterfly88 Prettybutterfly88 26-30, F 5 hrs ago

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    Feeling a little down.

    I think the final realization that my marriage is over has just hit me. I fought for so many years to make it work. Sacrificed so much and tolerated so much, yet I know it's for the best. MM asked me how I was doing and I just said "fine". I wish I could fully open up to him...
    thelionsden13 thelionsden13 41-45, F 4 Responses 45 mins ago

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 72 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I made a treasure map (it's like a vision board

    for life) in January. It was designed to help me grow this year and heal. What I wanted to see accomplished in 2015. On my treasure map I listed what I wanted this year for myself: relationship with self including the sub categories of learning to be alone, letting go, etc...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    So me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago

    because he left me for another girl he met online but he doesn't know that girl is secretly me catfishing him.
    zigi231 zigi231 18-21, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Our phone call this morning was beautiful.

    And probably one of the most telling and poignant ones yet. He essentially asked when things work out for us if he would be accepted by my friends that know about him... We talked about this, he reflected and mentioned my mama would be most understanding. I told him I had the...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Missing you. I miss you .

    I miss the way you Look into my eyes . I know your away for a few days . We Skype , we ignite . Why are we so far away ? Why is it so hard ? I'm only thinking about you. You love me . You show me how life can be so delightful . Hold my hand and hug me. I miss you . I love you...
    JohnCrighton JohnCrighton 51-55, M 10 hrs ago

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    He's coming home from vacation today!

    I've been nervous all week thinking he would have some epiphany or change of heart while on vacation with his family. I was fearful of never hearing from him again. Lo and behold, he's messaged me all morning from the airport, ready to come home to me. I'm so happy.
    MadameMirage MadameMirage 36-40, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    It was an incredible week.

    Day 5, no tears, although I did come close today. He couldn't stop telling me how gorgeous I was today. Every time I would turn around. Met at our special spot after work for 5 minutes. Just kissing before the weekend... I wasn't going to ask him on our phone call home about all...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 26 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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