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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 11,772 People

    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 67 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 84 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    A question or thought about divorce.

    Honest here. When I first was with my MM he told me he would never divorce his wife, they had been together to long to do that to her [41 years]. My first thought was that dumb, what does how many years you've been with someone have to do with your choice to divorce or not...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I've decided to come clean

    and lay my cards on the table . Not to be dragged over the coals , but to get my current life out there......... I'm loving the other woman in my life As my life is now. I go home and wife asks me to vacuum . Of course !, I tell her because I can't stand the place gathering...
    JohnCrighton JohnCrighton 51-55, M 6 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa 13-15, F 28 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    For all my EP friends,

    I have changed my screen name from Surfsway to Serendipitous1. It's still me.
    Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1 36-40, F 8 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I miss him so much. It's only been three days

    since I've seen or talked to him, but it feels like an eternity. Wondering if he is even thinking about me at all. Wondering how I could have been so stupid to think we would ever actually end up together. Reading these posts helps, but my hearts ripped to shreds that he hasn't...
    SAO17 SAO17 26-30, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sometimes I hate having to be the better person.

    MM and I usually meet every Monday and Friday for lunch and if we are lucky, one other day during the week/weekend for "us" time. Well I knew he was going to have a crazy work day before he has to fly out of town again on Wednesday. Telling how stressed he was about his...
    thelionsden13 thelionsden13 41-45, F 5 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    What a horrible weekend.

    I got into a massive row with MM and we discussed splitting up. He says he doesn't want to lose me. But I'm not sure if we're OK, even after talking for hours online. It started over something so trivial... I questioned his motivation for a decision he made at work. FFS! We...
    daisyblue222 daisyblue222 36-40, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Start rant... I swear I'm going to

    either drink his last beers, use all the hot water up, use the last of his face wash or leave all of his boxes in the wash overnight so he wakes up to damp underwear! Granted, I see him all day, everyday... But is still find comfort ranting here. He goes out with his soon to...
    RedHotPepper RedHotPepper 26-30, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 12 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 101 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    How Do You Resolve conflicts?

    Sitting in my office with a woozy head, a massive headache, sore throat and jolts of lightening in my lower back and knees... Yup! this is how Malaria feels like. I can still think and smile and most of all I can miss like crazy the OW friends in my life.... I will be offline...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    His family didn't make it to trivia last night,

    roads were a mess, but we still had a good time. I read all the messages between mm and w over the past week. Not an easy read. He is having to say certain things to keep her talking that cut pretty deep. Things are coming to a head. This week will show what he's made of...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    MM and I have been so connected lately.

    It's truly the best thing I've ever experienced in life. I found him during a really dark time in my life and he saved me from so much sadness & pain. I remember in the beginning our relationship was so playful and cute but he never really let me into his world. A year later we...
    subgirl26 subgirl26 22-25, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    As is normal, we were on the phone

    or video chatting all day today. From about 8 until about 5. We go through our day together, clean the house, make dinner, run through the to-do list, in the office, etc. But for some reason tonight, even though we said our goodbyes, I feel like I can't let go of him. He feels...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 7 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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    Another week down... He's changing.

    Part of it has been hard to watch, he has grown stronger and in doing this has shut me out in some ways. Today, he opened up a little, he is in turns; sad, bitter, tired, angry. I know he needs to go through his journey on his own, I can no more do it for him, than he could...
    40Creek 40Creek 41-45, F 11 hrs ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 54 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 17 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    Recently found out the MM

    who I was with was not only lying to his wife but obviously myself as well. Has anyone else been burned? Dont understand why the guy cant just be honest in his intention. If hes just in it for the sex then say it. No reason to lie. Some of us can take the heat.
    latinafairy latinafairy 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Lonely vs Being Alone.

    Something really weird is going on.When i was in my twenties i was fierce ! In a hyper sexual, confident way before i was in a relationship... However the minute i got into one i morphed into the perfect "Idiot Stepford wife " girlfriend... hair perfect, nails immaculate...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 7 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    More drama from ex MM.

    Text for 3 hours. He wants me back and when I deny him he starts getting nasty. I told him I was blocking him and I deleted whatsapp. I didn't actual block him but I stopped responding to his texts. He actually apologized which he never does. I still ignored him. He hasn't msg...
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    I'm not the other woman,

    but I love the support you get (I too was once the OW & this group has helped me get thru some pain from MANY years ago) . I heard Rascal Flatts song "Riot" & fell in love with it. Maybe this song is for some of you OW & OM out there. http://youtu.be/nTwpGrWzGpI
    DreamGolfer DreamGolfer 46-50, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Having one of this days .

    . It's been 31 days since I've seen or spoken to him. A year since this whole thing started . I miss him. Hate not seeing him everyday anymore. So hard not being able to call or text. Trying to stay busy.. Hope he comes to visit soon..
    andwhatnow andwhatnow 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 51 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 15 Responses May 4, 2014

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 19 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 11 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    I just read an article about two individuals

    that were sentenced to prison time for trolling and sending online threats. Just because your user name doesn't include your first and surname, doesn't mean that you're anonymous. Yay, computer forensics! Boo, trolls!
    lostanddistraught lostanddistraught 22-25, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Stages of an affair Ladies,

    I have been involved with a MM fit 18 months now. It's gotten very serious, to the point of he is leaving his wife and family in a matter of weeks. (I too am married) Could you ladies that have been involved a lot longer tell me on some level what I can "expect"? I know everyone...
    serendipity65 serendipity65 41-45, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 41 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 89 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Is MM's Full Disclosure Uncomfortable ?

    I am home resting and recovering from malaria. The world still intrudes...My phone still rings a lot... Much of this is my friends calling to check up on me. However one phone call stands out because it was a close friend, calling to lean on me.. Which am always happy to do...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 6 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Honestly I know it's not very noble

    and most people condemn it but I've always wanted to be the other woman at least once. It's in-grained in most of us to do something wild and forbidden at least once. I kinda want the Sugar-Daddy thing too...just once. Once.
    doublemajorfever doublemajorfever 18-21, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 27 Responses May 6, 2014

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    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 14 Responses Feb 6

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 165 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 48 Responses Jan 10

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 54 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Please excuse my stories being posted under the

    same heading . I wrote down my feelings for you my wonderful woman in November. The words express how I feel. I don't intend to offend anyone by the content. I write as the mood in me intensifies . I lay in bed and dream about you. Oh my sweet lady. If you are wearing that...
    JohnCrighton JohnCrighton 51-55, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    So it's been 8 days and I still haven't cried

    over the fool… those you know my saga know what I'm talking about.. I'm also finding myself not thinking about him much. Everything in my apartment that reminded me of him I threw out like is Patriots cap… medicine he bought me… and even some condoms he left over.. I've...
    AvaLennon AvaLennon 31-35, F 34 mins ago

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    I'm married but I'm having an affair with my

    best friends husband. I know we can never be together as it would rip his family apart but I feel so lost without him. I made a huge mistake marrying my husband and can only be thankful we have no children. I want a divorce but I know it would crush him. It's so difficult being...
    kimathy86 kimathy86 26-30, F 1