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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,051 People

    Adjusting. Lots of future talk,

    suddenly. I didn't prepare for this level of emotion when it came to this stage. Seems like there is a lot of processing that goes along with a transition from being the OW to not being that any longer. I'm still secret though and quite honestly, won't feel like I'm "out of the...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    As a personal rule, I never make first contact.

    We only email and text during working hours unless he contacts me after. We have an office romance without us even working together. After not hearing from him since Friday, he finally made contact on Wednesday with a poem. I felt nothing. It didn't move me. I read it as a...
    BeauKitty BeauKitty 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't know if I should talk to him about this

    disconnect I am feeling. I don't feel fully engaged in this anymore. I want to be, but I don't know how to fix it. On the other hand, I don't want to put a lot of effort into 'fixing' this if it is a better place for him. I would probably not even consider talking about it with...
    solace73 solace73 41-45, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Update from a tent. They put up a new cell

    tower. We won't be chatting this week, but at least there will be messages. Yesterday was tough, traveling with my H has never been good, my stress level was through the roof. But settled on the lake, with son, daughter-in-law, grand kids, and puppy, along quite paddle by myself...
    whynot13 whynot13 46-50, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah blah...you tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 50 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 55 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Back Story: My BF and I have been together

    for 6 years. we have a one year old together. He recently got a new job. with that him and I meet his supervisor. From the first moment I seen this guy I feel in love. idk why, I would think about him all the time even know I only seen him with my BF a couple times and only...
    klm0701 klm0701 22-25, F 10 mins ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 78 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    So confused still, MM

    and I had this flirty message thing going on and would message all the time (was both ways) he has now stopped all flirty communication. Yet last night H and I went over there for drinks and MM still found a time to kiss me, he has now barely been in contact all day. I don't...
    iamnooneyouknow iamnooneyouknow 31-35, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I thought this beautiful man the sparkling

    stars in the sky raining down light like laughter into my waiting fertile heart. He said he was in no man's land. I painted the sky with colour and I blossomed for him. I quivered, expanded and exploded with love. And yet, we remained divided. By a chasm that was only a metre...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I know he and I will take time to be able to be

    out in the open. He's fully using the word separated now. I have plans with friends today, and for that I am thankful; estranged W is with MM and his family today for 4th of July. He told me, "so I wouldn't be angry." I get it. It's like the times I go to dinner with my exH with...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl 31-35, F 3 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    How much do you expect them to do things

    when they say they will.....like I will connect with you when i return, etc. I find this rather aggravating to me anymore. I shouldnt have to be constantly bringing it up either. How do you handle this?
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    Dianecc11 Dianecc11 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 77 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I fell down a well this morning of reading

    articles about infidelity, partly because I think I'm an emotional masochist and partly because I need it reinforced that he's never leaving and he's never coming back. They all, unequivocally, said 99% of married people don't leave and they lie to you just as much, if not more...
    inaraserra inaraserra 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 151 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 46-50, F 11 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Yesterday I wrote something here

    that really got me thinking. Life is complicated and messy and disgusting and sad but we can make it beautiful and amazing if we choose and I think the only way we can get through it is by taking it one day at a time. My faults, my mistakes and my guilt is my responsibility. I...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 94 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 170 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 18 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    I wanted to write this story from the

    perspective of a Married person(MM or MW) having an affair. This was triggered by a question someone posted yesterday, asking Why MM needs the other woman and why the MM can't leave the Ws so easily. Talking from the perspective of a Married person, sometimes things are very...
    Jazz045 Jazz045 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 25

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 48 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc 46-50, F 23 Responses Mar 22

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    Hi ladies! I hope you all had a wonderful 4th

    of July! I have a question to ask. Do you expect to hear from MM on holidays/weekends? Why or why not?
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 11 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Just an update to my post from yesterday: he

    emailed me this evening! How great do I feel by not making myself too 'available' and having some sense of control?! I actually like playing hard to get....so he will get a response tomorrow. ;-)
    ArlingtonRose ArlingtonRose 36-40, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I remember being 14 years old,

    hearing about those "nasty" women who homewreck married relationships- thinking, "ugh! How disgusting! Don't they have feelings or emotions? How heartless" I never knew that they were just normal women. Or, even better, I didn't know I'm going to become one of those women I...
    RedShootingStar RedShootingStar 18-21, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I did it....I finally told my husband,

    after 7 months of separation, that we will not get back together. The hurt in his face and eyes were priceless. I cried more than I've cried ever in my life. He told me he didn't want to talk to me for a while. Which I guess was my goal. But it hurts...we are friends but not...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    My affair ended after 5 years.

    We have been in limited contact for 2 months. Rarely I have slipped and flirted with him. This past week he has been finding excuses to contact me and flirt with me. My feelings on this have been numb to quietly happy. We work together so complete NC is not possible. Well...
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 42 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    He continues to be crazy busy at work,

    working loads of overtime and he still makes time. Things are just amazing.
    iunderstand1234 iunderstand1234 51-55, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Just read this and it describes exactly my

    relationship with exMM. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/
    Lust2much Lust2much 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    NO LONGER THE OTHER WOMAN!

    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 14 Responses Mar 21

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    Stressing out about NC.

    It's been about 3 weeks. He's given me no real concrete evidence he cares at all.....why do I still think he cares? Is it because I love him so much? No one ever truly "got me" like him. I know I'll never replace that. His wife saw out texts and hatefully confronted me...
    Blissfulbeauty Blissfulbeauty 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Still sitting in my pajamas wondering

    why the words that I want to say won't come out of my mouth. Usually I just don't want to ruin a good day. I worry about him all the time. I have followed what he said to me long ago. "If they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone." But there are some things...
    independentandstubborn independentandstubborn 51-55, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 27 Responses May 6, 2014

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    No one person can ever know the future.

    Everytime i hear my loves voice and i receive a beautiful message from him. . . I am reminded. . . How fragile and precious love really Is . . . We have to intentionally honor eachother. . . . I promised him i would never take US for granted. . . writing here. . . Is my safe...
    Strawberrygiggles Strawberrygiggles 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 50 Responses Feb 16, 2014

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    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001 36-40, M 14 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    Looking back it is funny how easily I fell into

    the trap of becoming 'the other woman.' The first flash of distress - a wounded soul no less, and I dived into the murky water. He told me that I was his oxygen. I was a mermaid Saint Bernard with the reviving elixir strapped to my neck. Strangely, I found two unmarried men...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 21

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    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 102 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 17 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    He emailed me this morning he got a new job

    which is great! He's well educated and this is a new career for him not just a job. But I wonder why he chose to share this great news with me as we are not all that close. His fiancé is well educated and has a great job as well. I am not as accomplished as they are but I am...
    Aimee3 Aimee3 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I haven't posted here in a long,

    long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife. I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM. But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took...
    crazycontrolled crazycontrolled 36-40, F 24 Responses Apr 30

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