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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,448 People

    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 103 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I decided to delete some of my other posts

    because they just had too many details, and I guess being the OW makes me a little paranoid. Anyhow, I'm the crazy who called MM house, and he's the crazy who handed his wife the phone. I wish I could go into all of it again. This was 4 nights ago, and since then we've...
    RoseColouredGlasses RoseColouredGlasses 26-30, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde 36-40, F 79 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    September 15... It's been a great day.

    I have found a lawyer to do pro-bono work on my patent... Woooo hooo! So now it's time to work! My boyfriend and I have been a tad off and tonight was so great. We laugh so much together and love hanging out. Grilled by the pool, had some beers, watched the game... Tonight was...
    RedHotPepper RedHotPepper 26-30, F 8 hrs ago

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    My Secret Gold Coin

    You don’t know it, but I think of you as a beautiful, precious, shiny gold coin that I keep secretly hidden in my pocket. I feel happy knowing that you are in there, but unhappy knowing that you have to stay hidden. I wish I could show you off to friends, but they wouldn’t...
    jenn80 jenn80 51-55 18 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Positive msgs off him yesterday.

    Then it came to night time and my head goes into overdrive. Is he seeing her tonight? Why is she even still around? What possible need does he have for her when he says he loves me and now sees a future with me? Txt him lots of nice things, no response so in the end I just...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Things I don't miss from my affair.

    .. 1. Waiting for my phone to ding 2. Lying to spouse about where I am going 3. Making sure I erase texts 4. Time 5. Mind control that the affair holds not mm 6. Questioning of myself and actions 7. Guilt not for the affair but for my husband and his wife 8. Time 9. The panic...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 27

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    Conversation between me

    and him. I need an outsiders perspective that is in the role as the OW. I don't know how to take it all. Me: "You tell me you want me here for you. That you care and love me. But that I shouldn't be here because I'll always come in second in your life. However I deserve more...
    Risktakingflirtation Risktakingflirtation 22-25, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its been..to the minute...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 22 Responses May 6

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    He contacted me at almost 11 last night.

    We chatted for about 15 minutes I was rather short and not nice. He gave one of those comments of how tired he was....knew the connection would be short and it ticked me off. He is a very driven personality and he's in that mode (after 6 years i see the shifts) Again, this...
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 26 mins ago

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    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 11

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    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983 26-30, F 143 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    So updates: I've been trying to talk to the MM

    I broke up with. I thought maybe we could be how we were before...but he is more cold now that before. Perhaps because I ended it? Or maybe he found another? Or maybe he knows I had fallen for him so he doesn't want to be too chatty? Whatever it is, I can't be the one initiating...
    nolasanchez30 nolasanchez30 31-35, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 152 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988 26-30 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 18 Responses May 4

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    I have come to the conclusion

    that I am PATHETIC!!!!!!
    blue963 blue963 46-50, F 6 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    "Hopelessly In Love With A Married Man" - I

    swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Loving you was an accident. It just, well, happened :) Love, Misty Starr
    MistyStarr1969 MistyStarr1969 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    Kokopuffy Kokopuffy 51-55, F 48 Responses Feb 16

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    Oooooo I just love it

    when the trolls fear me enough to block me ;) galdran (who got touched on a train...really?!) And shellsea girl. Notably they post on each other's experiences, so evidently followed each other here to set us straight. Let us all give thanks, ladies!
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes 41-45, F 4 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    What am I going to say

    or do if she comes across texts or emails between us? What am I going to do? I know why, i know the answers to all her questions. I just don't know what I will do.
    leigh8133 leigh8133 31-35, F 5 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I've been with the same MM on & off

    for the last 11 years. When we're good, WE'RE GOOD! But when we're on bad terms, it's like being a part of a horrific train wreck! He recently celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary. A few weeks before that, I asked if he knew what his W had gotten him. His response was 'I...
    Sway72 Sway72 41-45, F 7 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

    For those of you who haven't read my story (since been deleted) I'm the woman who was involved with a married man for a year and a half and got pregnant in April. Everybody, even his wife knows. So, since they don't feel an urge to respond to my admittedly slightly rude...
    nonameplease74 nonameplease74 36-40, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Here is my story i know some will be tempted to

    judge or to say "why would you put yourself through that" but i have come to learn its easy to know what the right decision is when you are outside looking in. I met a man, he was the definition of wonderful, he listened, was thoughtful and gave me all his free time (when he...
    Nellieee Nellieee 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    To The Married Men

    *I hope this helps the other women who have felt this way* There are some things we, the other women, need you, the married men, to know and understand. Being the other woman is a difficult position. Given a choice, this is not a position we would choose. We are in the...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 68 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen 31-35 73 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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    This entire week has made a basket case of me.

    We haven't been akone together in 8 days. We're both unusually busy at work. On Sunday we had band practice where we did our usual, pretending like we got nothin but a fist bump relationship in front of the others. Then he called me on his way home and asked me to lunch the next...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 12 seconds ago

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    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2 46-50, M 43 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    RANT: So far, there have been 2

    or more thoughtless pieces of advice today alone about "go find a single man" or stuff along those lines. Who here has tried to date other men while hung up on their MM? Does it actually help? I know that if I'm already hung up on a person, then meeting new people doesn't help...
    beneboo beneboo 26-30, F 12 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego 18-21 37 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved 22-25, F 81 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Hi ladies, I need your advice.

    I think I just ended it with my mm ( I have not posted our back story yet) and it's for a reason I would have never imagined. I am a Vikings fan and for those of you who don't know, one of their players was just indicted for child abuse. He took a switch to his 4 year olds...
    sturner1 sturner1 36-40, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Why do all the haters say you're always going

    to be second choice? Maybe we are second choice when he "has" to go home but in reality we aren't second choice in his heart or his mind. I can almost promise that he's thinking about me more than his wife. I can almost promise his heart is starting to lead him else where and...
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 88 Responses Aug 10

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    Hi everyone, I've only posted once

    and made a comment or two. I just tried to post something but got a message that I've been flagged repeatedly. Is that just the trolls? I've never posted anything inappropriate or mean.
    sturner1 sturner1 36-40, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle 36-40, F 44 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234 26-30, F 20 Responses Apr 18

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid holidays...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 2

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    it is fun sometime being the other women cause

    guys gets me want ever I want
    shibabe1996 shibabe1996 18-21, F 1 Response 49 mins ago

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    I AM NOT THE OTHER WOMAN.

    There are many labels I could have. But "the other woman" is not one I use. That is NOT how I define myself or this relationship! It annoys me that we seem to be identified solely in that context here. No doubt that's who I would be from where she stands ... I'm sure that's...
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 19 Responses 5 days ago

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    I was the other women

    for a year but now I am the wife. We will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary soon. We were both married to other people when we met. We were both in bad marriages. We are both so much happier now. If anyone wants to hear my story I am happy to share.
    magic2929 magic2929 46-50, F 18 Responses Apr 29

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    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK 22-25, F 30 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 206 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    "Sometimes you have to walk away from people,

    not because you don't care, but because they don't." This fits how I'm feeling today perfectly. I finally decided to contact him after he blew off our plans on Saturday. He gave me another stupid excuse and half *** apology. I'm realizing that between starting my new job and...
    RedSheep2 RedSheep2 26-30, F 6 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    For the OW's who have managed to take an

    overnight getaway with your MM, how did you do it if it wasn't a work related trip? My AP and I would love to do this without having to do it interrupted by trainings and conferences.
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 8 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I've been working on trying to move on from

    everything. I've been thinking of him a little less. But then someone came up to me trying to star problems apparently he has been telling people that nothing ever happened and that it's disgusting to even think about and he's telling girls he's friends with to deal with me. I...
    Khaleesii Khaleesii 18-21, F 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I have, in the last month,

    become involved with a man who is engaged. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but one day it just kind of did. I've been reading stories here for the last few days trying to gain perspective. Our situation is unique in the fact that we can see each other more than most, he...
    belsu belsu 26-30, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Hi ladies, I need your advice.

    I think I just ended it with my mm (I have not posted our back story) and it's for a reason I would have never imagined. I am a Vikings fan and for those of you who don't know, one of their players was just indicted for child abuse. He took a switch to his 4 year olds bare...
    sturner1 sturner1 36-40, F 18 hrs ago

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    My mm officially ended it today.

    Says he loves his wife too much to keep going. I deleted our messenger we used and told him I don't want to stay in touch. My heart is completely broken. I really think I'm better off without him, but it hurts so bad right now. I guess I'm no longer the "other woman". I...
    megw16 megw16 31-35, F 43 Responses Feb 24

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    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 2

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    Day 7 NC. Even though I know this is absolutely

    for the best and he has hurt me so much......the missing him and the yearning and the longing hurt 10,00 times worst. I can't stop imagining them together....gawd this is so hard.
    pearl26ab pearl26ab 26-30, F 4 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    So he called after work

    and I melted. Can I ever give him up? Probably not. I love this man more than anything. I am willing to give up any hope of normalcy for him. How can you fall in love with a hopeless situation? Because in the end you cling to the thought he will be yours.
    Lost4him2 Lost4him2 26-30 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I was so relieved to find this forum,

    it instantly made me feel not half as alone as i have been.I have been reading so many stories here and fine myself nodding at everything i can relate to.It has taken me a few days to share my story but today has been a very tough day and i just feel i need to vent! We are over...
    Jellytots2412 Jellytots2412 36-40, F 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    So I waited all night

    for a small message from him...but got nothing. And nothing all day. He knows I hate that. He knows it bothers me so much. How hard is it to send a small message? It's not like he lives with his wife. They live separately due to their jobs. So what is it? Busy at work? Ha! He...
    SleeplessNites SleeplessNites 41-45, F 5 Responses 10 hrs ago

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