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I Am The Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,730 People

    A Letter To The Other Woman

    His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share. If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes. If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes. Both caught in a web, both being toyed with. You being told that he is going to leave me, Me...
    b4realz b4realz
    31-35, F
    146 Responses Oct 26, 2012

    Don't You Women Get It?

    Don't you women get it yet? Most married men are not going to leave their wife for the other woman. These men want the best of both and as long as you're giving it to them that's how things will be. These men are just missing that spark that passion that their marriage has lost...
    totallytea totallytea
    51-55, F
    159 Responses Oct 3, 2011

    OH. MY. GOD. It's final,

    he's single, and as of 9:37am today I am no longer the OW!!!
    Shardsofsorrow Shardsofsorrow
    36-40, F
    53 Responses Jul 29, 2015

    Sorry, Ladies...

    I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not...
    deleted deleted
    200 Responses Jul 28, 2008

    I Applaud "The Other Woman"

    I've looked through this "experience" and have read comments made by both sides. One against "the other woman"...and one supporting. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just merely wishing to provide my experience. Sometimes, speaking from experience, the "other woman" is actually "the...
    seeinglife2x2 seeinglife2x2
    51-55, M
    37 Responses Apr 12, 2013

    I Was The Other Woman; Read If You Want To Walk Away

    I'm 29 years old and I live and own a house with my boyfriend of 11 years. About 2 years about I became involved romantically with my co-worker, a married man with three young children. I still work with him very closely with this man...but about two months ago I completely...
    marygold1983 marygold1983
    26-30, F
    170 Responses Apr 9, 2012

    A Letter From The Other Woman

    You are the one he’s lived with for a very long time. I have known him for three years. You are the one who wakes up to his familiar face each and every day and you give him a peck on the cheek. I gaze into his deep brown eyes and run my hands through his slightly graying dark...
    Kelki Kelki
    46-50, F
    99 Responses Oct 12, 2011

    I am posting this letter from a married man

    again because we do sometimes focus on.."what about me" as the other woman in these relationships. This is his side..written by a man I know who is very much in love with his OW. They are old loves reunited about 6 years ago (he can tell you how long its the minute...
    deleted deleted
    21 Responses May 6, 2014

    I haven't posted here in a long,

    long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife. I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM. But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took...
    crazycontrolled crazycontrolled
    41-45, F
    20 Responses Apr 30, 2015

    Dear EP, I am "the other woman"

    and I have come to this site for wisdom and support from other women in my situation. While on this site I have run into people who have ridiculed and bashed me and other's who are here sharing their experiences. Definitely not offering authenticity, support and respect that...
    deleted deleted
    39 Responses Feb 16, 2014

    What The Wife Doesn't Know..

    What you don't know is.. I never initiated this contact with your husband. I was never out to get him or you. Him being married is NOT a turn on for me. I have never thought ill of you. I wish I could, but never have been able to. I DO have morals; whether you wish to believe it...
    AyoMK AyoMK
    26-30, F
    29 Responses Aug 18, 2013

    Honestly I'd beat the life out of ANY b!

    tch who tries to ruin my family and my marriage. There's enough men out there, there's no need for sharing ladies.
    Cleopatra05 Cleopatra05
    22-25, F
    18 Responses Dec 28, 2015

    To all the trolls and the ones telling the ow

    to go kill yourselves....get out of your moms basement and get your own life...I'm sorry your parents didn't hug you before but is very coward to bully the ow users in an Internet forum... Let me tell you as an MM, I see how important the OW are for us and how they make the mm...
    floaty2001 floaty2001
    36-40, M
    13 Responses Apr 19, 2014

    The other woman isn't always a home-wrecker.

    Sometimes she's a home-mender. I had been faithful to my dear husband for over 20 years. For many years I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't sexy. Why didn't he want me the way I wanted him? I grew to understand that we just had very different desire...
    livingasme livingasme
    51-55, F
    13 Responses May 15, 2015

    What It's Like Being The Other Woman

    So many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop...
    Micalle Micalle
    36-40, F
    46 Responses Apr 22, 2012

    So this post is for all you dam haters of us

    "OW" or "OM" you continue to bash us for straying...not being faithful...try to communicate more with spouse...there is no reason to cheat....blah blah tell me this.... I have been a dam good wife to my H for 21 years...put my dreams on hold so I can make his come...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    42 Responses Nov 6, 2014

    I met a SG. A good one.

    First date at a coffee shop yesterday lasted for six hours. Just talking. And an amazing kiss afterward. Then we texted until bed. He is beautiful and sweet and smart and athletic. And he digs me a whole bunch. Best of all, he has been divorced for nearly 20 years. He was so...
    Stalked9 Stalked9
    46-50, F
    14 Responses Jan 11, 2016

    10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.

    1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do. 2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for...
    somebody999 somebody999
    31-35, F
    18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

    I used to come to this forum to read stories

    that made me feel less alone, and to give me some sanity and hope. In the midst of my affair, and the lengthy and painful ending of that journey I was here often.. Sharing my story, getting advice, and reading all of the other stories similar to mine. If gave me a sense of calm...
    deleted deleted
    14 Responses Feb 6, 2015

    Private forum for us!

    Hi ladies, I have a feeling for a long time that this project is not doing well. As the announcement came in today confirm my intuition. It happens to be that I have been creating websites for almost 20 years. And at this juncture I would love to extend my expertise to this...
    ReflectedSoul ReflectedSoul
    41-45, F
    43 Responses Mar 23, 2016

    Society calls us cheaters

    and home wreckers and a few other not so nice names, but we are mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers like everyone else. The only difference is that we have a relationship outside of our marriage that helps us feel whole. I don't see myself as being any different from...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304
    26-30, F
    36 Responses Jan 10, 2015

    Never Thought I'D Be One Of 'Those Women'.

    Where to start.... I always thought I was an honest trustworthy wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend but now I have strayed into the territory of cheater. If you'd asked me what I thought about women who sleep with married men I'd have said 'home wreckers' and had a rant. But now I...
    AnotherBondiBlonde AnotherBondiBlonde
    41-45, F
    73 Responses Feb 21, 2013

    I ended things for good yesterday.

    I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more...
    lavc lavc
    51-55, F
    15 Responses Mar 22, 2015

    I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

    If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged...
    fuego fuego
    38 Responses Jul 6, 2008

    Here on EP I met another 'other woman'

    and we clicked. Almost a year ago now and we talk every single day. Well yesterday we travelled the country and met half way for the first time an had an amazing weekend away together! Lots of good food, drinks, dancing and laughs! Best friend for life!! Just thought I would...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Apr 19, 2015

    Can The Other Woman Ever Really Become The Wife?

    I've read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites but we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here". I became the other woman (OW) a little over a year ago. We were both married at the...
    essenceoflaneen essenceoflaneen
    97 Responses Feb 19, 2011

    I am reading a happy story with sadness.

    To the OW who does have her happy ending, or can see it in sight, you have your "I love you" and you and he will be together soon. You both sound like good people who will be good for each other. I have read your story and it progresses in the same way as many others. You...
    deleted deleted
    18 Responses Jun 21, 2014

    MM asked to meet up today.

    . Obviously To fck. And I decided to divert the conversation and then I stopped replying to him.. And it feels sooooooo good to just say no. It's not about getting even with him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I'm not his fck toy. I would never subject myself to that...
    Xf1234 Xf1234
    26-30, F
    16 Responses Apr 18, 2014

    Hello beautiful ladies.

    I don't post here any more since I am (thankfully) no longer the other woman. I see so many of you struggling with "should I stay, or should I go?". That is truly a question only you can answer, but for the majority of us, no matter how much we love our men, this is a toxic and...
    ravenofthedark ravenofthedark
    41-45, F
    9 Responses Jul 17, 2015


    !! I am now the only woman :) it has been officially ended this morning, he was straight on the phone to me who was awesome at playing it cool despite up all night worrying! He was going to come over but we both decided against it as he needs time to recover maybe. He has gone...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore
    36-40, F
    9 Responses Mar 21, 2015

    A man's perspective The woman's guide Full

    disclosure I am a man and I have had affairs. Years from now as I'm writing my memoirs this will not be a chapter I will be proud of. However, these are my experiences that have shaped the man I have become. I am writing this as a perspective of what we married men are all about...
    Daniel022 Daniel022
    51-55, M
    15 Responses Jun 11, 2015

    Well I sit here in the dark wondering what will

    today bring. As many u are following my story I am planning on talking to my h today about the emails he read while on the cruise. I am going to admit I am in love with another man. I am coming clean in most stuff. Some things are just better left unsaid. I don't need to hurt h...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    10 Responses Jan 6, 2016

    To All The Negative Wives

    **to all the wives who have messaged me** I have been messaged and ridiculed by many wives for being a "home wrecker". I for one never knew he was married and let me just say this. If you would provide the love and affection (including taking care of yourselves) your so "loved...
    Livedandloved Livedandloved
    22-25, F
    74 Responses Feb 18, 2013

    Cold Splash Of Water

    Hit me up if you want this I'll be slow responding because I won't check it much.
    iamalsokolya iamalsokolya
    31-35, M
    23 Responses May 29, 2013

    Ooooookay....I pick up my phone this am

    while having my coffee, to catch up on what's been going on with you ladies. What do I find? Haters, trolls and generally just nonsense going on. Who are all these people and why, suddenly, are you here telling us what's best for us, when you know not a thing? Get out, shoo...
    CherokeeEyes CherokeeEyes
    41-45, F
    15 Responses Jul 30, 2014

    I just got accused of enabling a woman here

    because I support her decision to stay with her married man. And I said it in that thread but I also want to say it here as well... Oh ffs.. I am not enabling her.. I am supporting her in her decision. If you look around, I also support other woman who choose to leave their...
    deleted deleted
    14 Responses May 4, 2014

    I am not the OW, but I'm

    so proud of you ladies. You go through hell and back for these men. You love, comfort, support, and love these men. I do not know how you do it. I read your stories and I'm in awe....sheer breathtaking, gutwrenching, heartbreaking, overwhelming, love-infused awe of you all...
    soldiergirl2 soldiergirl2
    46-50, F
    10 Responses Apr 6, 2015

    I don't get it, ladies.

    Why? Why do you spend your days and nights in agony over a person who has chosen someone else? I frequently see the words soul mate and love of my life here. How can someone be your soul mate when they won't even leave an unhappy marriage to be together with you? How can...
    PhinheasGage PhinheasGage
    51-55, M
    18 Responses Dec 31, 2015
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Sep 4, 2015

    Women won't mess with a man

    that lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
    reeessa reeessa
    18-21, F
    20 Responses Oct 23, 2014

    I had a wonderful time last night.

    He was a perfect gentlemen. He picked me up on time and had me laughing the whole night. We had dinner on the coast and afterwards we walked the beach hand in hand. No need for hiding or being uncomfortable. He's not married. He does not have children. He is an Engineer. He...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae
    26-30, F
    10 Responses May 2, 2015

    Dear MM, I can't do it anymore.

    I can't keep crying myself to sleep at night while you drift off in her arms. I can't keep being cut off at the end of your work day, with a text or call from you announcing that you're "headed home," a place I'll never be with you. I can't wait for you anymore while you run...
    Stalked9 Stalked9
    46-50, F
    15 Responses Jan 19, 2016

    I WAS the other woman.

    Not anymore. It feels so good to ignore the texts that say I miss you or I love you because I don't feel the same anymore. They keep coming, and I keep ignoring. I am now in another relationship where I am his one and only. No more doubts. No more questioning. No more sadness...
    lilly1988 lilly1988
    9 Responses Feb 13, 2014

    Morning ladies! I wanted to give you an update.

    Hopefully my updates give those of you going through NC/breakup hope and strength. Day 13 and everyday just gets easier. I got rid of all of him, blocked his number, threw out his cards, erased his photos and in turn....he is fading away. I was laying in bed last night...
    MadameMirage MadameMirage
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Jun 29, 2015

    Sitting with family at dinner on Sunday,

    my brother, without knowing it, gave me a pretty good idea why men who are miserable in their marriages stay. After 13 years and one eight year old boy with his crazy wife, my brother finally is divorced. He is dating my best friend and is very happy for the first time in ages...
    lavc lavc
    51-55, F
    25 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    I debated on whether

    or not to post this, I don't want it to seem like I am bragging or rubbing it in, but I figure for the ladies here that are struggling, ones that feel like giving up, for the trolls that say "it's just for the sex", here is my latest update.... I just got home from 12 long...
    sensitiveme sensitiveme
    31-35, F
    12 Responses Apr 4, 2015

    I'm actually going to get my HEA.

    .. Is this real life... He's sleeping in the guest room, will be moving temporarily into his parents next week. He was texting me... He was quiet. Just said he was reflective. Then all of a sudden he knocked on the door... We made love, laughed, cuddled, talked... This is for...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Jul 3, 2015

    I have finally come to the conclusion,

    and I hope for good this time, that he has been nothing but a waste of time. I have also realized that you can't control if someone will want you or not. You shouldn't waste any precious time worrying about what will happen, if he will text or not, or if you will ever hear...
    Freedomnow01 Freedomnow01
    31-35, F
    9 Responses Jun 10, 2015

    Ok - so I have been off EP

    for a while - needed a bit more support the past few weeks, and it would appear that the angry beavers have really sharpened their fangs. Number one - If you are NOT the Other Woman - WHY are you sniffing around here? Start your own group - Like - I am full of RAGE, or I am the...
    kitty1958 kitty1958
    56-60, F
    9 Responses Jan 1, 2016

    So I'm posting because there are some people

    here posting in this forum - not to understand the situations of the people currently involved in an affair - but to crucify and shame them. There are two people in a marriage. Healthy happy marriages where both people feel they are getting what they need are affair proof. It...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Nov 18, 2015

    Well. I've been away

    for quite sometime, but thought I would update you all who've been a part of my journey and let you share in my HEA. What can I say? I'm happy. My HEA is here. His divorce is final on Friday. We spent Thanksgiving together. Took a trip to visit my family over Christmas. He's...
    UnrequitedControl UnrequitedControl
    36-40, F
    11 Responses Jan 3, 2016

    I am now the owner of my new home.

    Not sure who's gonna live in it with me but it's mine. Been a really rough emotional day. But I pulled through it. I need a hot bath lol and candles.
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    11 Responses Jan 19, 2016

    I'm not the OW anymore.

    Read this if you've ever thought about walking away... Ladies (and gentlemen if you're in here), don't settle for second place. I was the OW for close to a year, during much of which I didn't even know he was a married man. I came here seeking validation when I wanted to...
    ashadams244 ashadams244
    31-35, F
    15 Responses Aug 17, 2015

    So happy new year everyone!

    !! I'm back in my cruise with h and guess what??? While I was in the shower h went through my phone and saw my emails from mm. He questioned me and I couldn't come clean while on the cruise. Come on seriously...I'm on a two week cruise and I'm gonna come clean???? Nope Couldn...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    10 Responses Jan 5, 2016


    Spent yesterday and today together...he took us to the beach where we strolled along and talked non stop, played arcade games (very competitively- and he won, which I like because I love the competition and have never had someone to match me before haha). We rode the ghost...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2015

    When I wake up, I reach

    for someone who likely isn't there. I don't get a morning kiss, I don't get to make his lunch. I don't have the right to call him at work, or to ask him to pick up something on his way home. On a day to day basis I don't get to have dinner with him, I don't get to watch him as...
    notafanofcircumstance notafanofcircumstance
    31-35, F
    19 Responses Mar 17, 2014

    Haven't been on today

    so I haven't seen all the troll post but wanted to give a big hug to the OW's out there that are having problems. Remember if the MM was happy at home he wouldn't go look for it elsewhere. That sounds cold but it is true in 90% of the affairs. Same holds true for women who...
    shouldntbethishard shouldntbethishard
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Feb 11, 2014

    Please, do not stop posting.

    ... I may not be the best person to make this request because I have only participated on the forum for just a few months. But I am so glad I had a place to go. I can not begin to tell you how supportive you ladies have been during my time of heart aches, up swings, troubles...
    saiyagyrl saiyagyrl
    36-40, F
    3 Responses May 26, 2014

    Today I am over the bull crap from small minded,

    hypocritical, judgemental, sit on my arse and whinge and moan about poor me and my life tossers!! You OW and OM are absolutely brilliant and awesome people. You don't sit in judgement on anyone....we are all too aware of how fatal that behaviour can be. I am sick of hearing...
    CuriousKat12 CuriousKat12
    51-55, F
    11 Responses May 5, 2014

    For 8 months I've been able to come here

    and share my thoughts about this one topic. Throughout this time I've seen my fair share of trolls come and go, often recreating themselves and taking on new identities. They're always discovered and eventually we are able to get rid of them, even if only temporarily. The...
    Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1
    41-45, F
    10 Responses Mar 15, 2015
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