I Am The Other Woman Forum & Chat Board | How to deal

Feeling extremely down - bf going through surgery on broken arm his other is with him and its killing me. I just want to scream and tell someone. It breaks my heart and hurts but I love him. How do you deal with thoughts of what he's doing with her - is he sleeping with her when he says no, what are they doing - the thoughts drive me mad. Can someone provide any consolation or help.

 

Don't know your story but all I can say is if you have made a decision to be involved with somebody who has another then you will either need to get to a place where thinking of him with her doesn't hurt (easier said than done) or you don't visit those thought s in your head, you lock them away so that you don't spend your nights crying and your days wishing, its hard being in this sort of a relationship... you have to work out if all the anguish you go through is worth it!!! Good luck to you.

 

Being in the position of "other" means you are the other, not her. It is not an easy place to be. You have to find separation within yourself. Your time with him is yours. You cannot give any thought to her time with him if you want to keep your sanity. She was there first. If you can't keep it in perspective, you will go mad. If he is having surgery and you are worried for him, that is completely normal and understandable. Be with him in spirit. He will know you are there. This position is not for the weak. I have had two major surgeries recently and have had to go it alone. I know my guy was there in spirit. Hang tough girl.