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I Am the Other Women

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 288 People

    What an amazing day. I swear this is what I've

    wanted for almost 2 years. When he told me last night that he might not be able to come to my town today I was crushed. So when I got a text at 1am that he would be here - just later than he hoped it was like the sky opened and the birds sang. Of course it had to rain all day...
    crosscountrylove crosscountrylove
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 3

    Your love is my drug.

    They say that my brain releases chemicals when you talk to me. And I know it's true. I've felt the surge of chemicals. I've felt the dopamine. The energy that fills my body. How can it be so wrong, when it feels so right? And I'm like an addict. Chasing the highs and riding the...
    Annurban Annurban
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 16

    So I caved...I called him.

    I broke NC. Within 33 mins. My friends I'm trying to do the right thing as a married wife (no heckling from trolls plz) but I just can't let mm go. I will have no choice but within a week or so let go of mm or stay with h. Something very complicated will take place and I will no...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Feb 25

    What a week!!! I was

    once again on his "coast" this week, but knew I wouldn't be in the office until the end of the week. I was kinda dreading it since it's hard to be so close and not able to see each other. Last week when we were talking about schedules he mentioned that he didn't think he'd be...
    crosscountrylove crosscountrylove
    41-45, F
    Mar 11

    Mm came over yesterday.

    I was still feeling annoyed that he had been nc for so long so even though we have been talking some on the phone for last couple wks I was not planning on doing anything physical with him but I couldn't resist and wound up sleeping with him....then he stayed and cuddled and...
    AnotherGypsySoul AnotherGypsySoul
    26-30, F
    Mar 17

    I miss you wife....I miss being innocent.

    I miss being happy inside....I miss smiling....I miss being carefree and full of life....I use to be happy...life was boring but I was innocent....now....I'm the other woman. Sad but true dancing with the devil is a battle we will never win...😞
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Feb 22

    We were talking about how being apart is harder

    lately. It may still be adjusting to the new schedule. We both still miss Monday mornings together. It was a good start to the week. He said he still hesitates booking work for Monday mornings. He has a voice in is head that says, But.. it's Monday. His week was crap until...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 26

    As this chapter of my life ends with EP I

    wanted to let the ladies here - who deeply love in complicated relationships - to keep seeking support. Sometime we find the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes we find the wrong person at the right time. Loving someone doesn't make you a sinner. It doesn't make you...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 2

    Tell me this makes u question everything.

    ....I wake up this morning to find the kitchen full of gifts chocolate cards and jewellery. My h spent a fortune. The card read....this is a new life a new start...I want to be the best husband I can be because I haven't been. .....ouch that one hurt. I feel like cr@p now. My h...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Feb 14

    So I've taken a few days away from EP (among

    other things that trigger thoughts of ex-MM) to clear my head. I'd planned to be away longer, but I've been stationed in SC all week reporting on the flood damage there, and it's helped me to realize something worth sharing... For those of you who haven't heard about the...
    ashadams244 ashadams244
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Oct 10, 2015

    Mr C left town for four days with another

    couple. I usually experience a small struggle inside of me before they go on these trips (they don't have kids). It last a day or so and then stop. I realize that every single trip short or long in any time zone, I still hear from him everyday. He always send me the last text...
    ReflectedSoul ReflectedSoul
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 21

    http://www.howtomotivation.

    com/2016/01/5-signs-someone-is-trying-to-manipulate-you/ 5 Signs Someone is Trying to Manipulate You Some people are always on the lookout for others that they can use to advance their agenda, whatever that may be, through whatever means possible. This is manipulative behavior...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 22

    And you're probably questioning,

    "will it ever be enough? I just saw you. Why can't she just be happy for the times we do have?" I can't be happy. Because not only do I want more, I need more. I don't deserve second. I don't deserve to be disappointed. I don't deserve to wait for you. I want to reclaim my...
    Annurban Annurban
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 3

    Just because I'm in this group does not mean

    for every tom **** and Harry that is married need contact us ow's. Most of us did not go looking for a relationship with an attached man. We are not looking to be your ow because you have not had sex with your wife in months. We have invested time and emotions into these...
    tiltheloverunsout tiltheloverunsout
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2015

    I broke things off. I blocked his number

    and his email. He retained a lawyer, but I rarely see him. He says he chooses me over her, it doesnt deel like it. He is always breaking plans with me at the last minute. This feels emotionally abusive. I'm going away for a few days in case he tries to show up at my apartment. I...
    xoAnnaxo xoAnnaxo
    18-21, T
    Mar 11

    http://themindunleashed.

    org/2015/04/10-ways-that-happy-couples-argue-differently.html Every couple argues. The difference between a happy couple and an unhappy couple is the way in which they argue. In fact, according to Relationship Expert John Gottman, the single strongest predictor of whether or not...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 26

    Sad to see EP go! Has anyone found another

    place like EP? I checked Relate To That but seems like we have to pay. :(
    purpledog25 purpledog25
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 6

    He's been looking for another motherboard

    for the laptop he gave me, for awhile now. My usb ports charge things but won't transfer data, but it's otherwise functional. I think it's fine but he wants it working properly. He found one last night, and he's picking it up today. My fan has been noisy, so he will probably...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Feb 2

    Heartbreaking day. MM

    and I decided mutually to end it today. After a fabulous Saturday night together. Things are getting harder for us. 7 months in and the emotions are so strong. The guilt and the lying are getting harder for both of us, but we are also so in love with each other. We are going to...
    tidbits32 tidbits32
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Mar 7

    I'm just sitting here in total silence

    and watch my husband sleep. I'm literally just watching him sleep in such peace. I wish I had that. But to be honest...I'm starting to wonder if I have shut him out and not given him a fair chance....isn't marriage about forgiveness??? My h has been trying to change and what...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 1

    I saw him on Tuesday,

    he was so drunk. Just finished a big job he said, so he was out blowing off steam or celebrating I'm not really sure which.. ended up in his truck... talking. He was telling me how disappointed he was that his wife went on the big anniversary cruise without him when...
    Scorpionchild Scorpionchild
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Oct 15, 2015

    Me and MM decided not to see each other anymore.

    Or go on a break...whatever that means. I thought I would be more sad but actually I left feeling relieved. I have a job interview at a law firm tomorrow. I feel like I can finally move on with my life now and just focus on my wedding and my fiancé and my future.
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2015
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 3

    I feel completely broken at this point.

    Trying to cover up my true desires. To be loved openly and honestly. To stop spending time going deeper with someone only to have them leave you. To have them be upset with you for not being thankful for the time that you do have. Which makes you feel even worse.
    Annurban Annurban
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 4

    I found this interesting.

    . 5 Ways Emotionally Abused People Love Differently Emotional abuse at the hands of loved ones can really change a person. Everyday, thousands of people are emotionally abused and manipulated by people who truly do love and care for them, but fail when it comes to expressing...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 12

    Laying in my bed alone.

    It's 3:30 in the morning. The moon is peaking through my blinds. I'm a bartender. I live 20-30 min away from my work. Tonight on my drive home there was a lonely feeling. Like am I going to do this forever? Am I going to be alone forever? I feel unloved. Unwanted. A part of me...
    Annurban Annurban
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Feb 28

    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 7

    what an amazing week!

    Sad when you get home and are in some ways sad to be there..... as I said in an earlier post here - I was on his coast for most of the week.... We got to see each other 6 days in a row! Of course we had our amazing private time, but we went for ice cream, held hands, had lunch...
    crosscountrylove crosscountrylove
    41-45, F
    Feb 26

    Had a funky start to the day,

    but a snuggly ending, so it's all good. :)
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 12

    Today is going to be hell!

    ! Mm sent me emails back forth yesterday that he wants to see me. We need to talk. He told me that he can do this anymore. He can't wait for me anymore. He said it's been three years and he believes I will never leave. I don't know maybe he's right. I now for sure that I don't...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Mar 14

    This group is so quiet these days.

    I'm sure it has to do with the unwanted and unnecessary negative comments, but I'm starting to wonder if everyone has migrated somewhere else? If that's the case, would someone mind messaging me, please ;-)?
    tidbits32 tidbits32
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Mar 21

    Do u ever heal??? Does the brokenness inside u

    ever start healing??? Honestly this world has swallowed me whole and I lost myself in the drama and forgotten who I am. Life is now complicated. Before MM I lived a life with a husband that didn't desire me. He allowed everything to weigh him down and forgot the most important...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Feb 25

    Such a nice day....and my heart is in total

    darkness....I wish on so many occasions that I can gather up the strength from all of you, my friends and leave...but the strength never comes....what am I waiting for? everyday that goes by I am more and more deeper into a complicated situation.....its now more family ties...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    7 Responses Feb 28

    MM has a funeral tomorrow morning.

    He has a friend/colleague that he helped start in the auto parts business 20+ years ago. He was involved in a rollover about 3 weeks ago that crushed his spine and caused head injuries. He never regained consciousness after the accident and they pulled the plug. He said he...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Feb 26

    It cuts like a knife.

    ..when it all falls apart. It's like someone is ripping ur heart out. Today I finally came to terms that I don't have the strength to leave my h and be with my forever love mm. I love mm so much but can't hurt my h so I rather be unhappy and unfulfilled sexually then hurt my h...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    8 Responses Feb 24

    How do u begin to tell someone

    after 27 years together and married 19 years that u don't love them anymore??? How do u begin explaining that u love them but not in a way a wife should love her husband??? How do u share with someone that u fell outta love with them??? Or how about telling someone that u want...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Mar 5

    Having a day.....have not spoke to mm in over a

    month now. No fight or anything....he just went nc with out explaining. He has done this before but never for this long. I am wondering if he will contact me again or if I should just get over it. Some days I think I am def ready to move on but days like today I do miss him...
    AnotherGypsySoul AnotherGypsySoul
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 25

    MM had to cancel the morning we had planned

    today, and then the drinks we had planned this afternoon, because of meetings at work. He still insisted on riding the train (45 min trip), to my office and back, to give me a cupcake and the sweetest card. And the cupcake store he planned to go to was closed, so he walked a lot...
    tidbits32 tidbits32
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Mar 2

    FEB 14....a day on the calendar many of us

    cringe and can barley make it through the day...well my dear friends that day is less then 5 hours away and many of us will spend the day faking a smile with our spouses....fantasize about our ow or mm. Cry in silence from the pain of missing someone we shouldn't. Some of us...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 13

    14 weeks today of no contact.

    .....still miss you.....will always wonder if you miss me tooooooo.....suppose I will never know! :-)
    kjr71 kjr71
    41-45, F
    1 Response May 17, 2014

    God help me I don't know how to let him go.

    How do you let go of someone who has awakened a need deep within in you that you can't quiet no matter how hard you try. He is beautiful. We are beautiful together. I am beautiful when I'm with him.
    WineLover6501 WineLover6501
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Feb 28

    Well, thankfully the "end" didn't last very

    long. Just a day longer than it lasted last time. He messaged me nonstop after calling things off, telling me how heartbroken and devastated he was. How he couldn't go a day without me in his life. Yesterday morning he called me and told me he couldn't stop this. While I know...
    tidbits32 tidbits32
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 10

    Darkness has become my best friend.

    Silence is all that slightly comforts me and sadness is the only thing that calls my name. I've never said this before but I wish I never had an affair. As much as I love mm I wish I never met him. I wish I was the darn lonely wife that could only dream of passionate love making...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Jan 31

    I posted before. My MM stopped our physical

    relationship awhile ago. But he still messaged me almost every day. He'd tell me about his work and family and friends. He told me his marriage was a mess. I just was there to listen and support how ever I could. He has 2 teenage children and I was not thinking he, nor I would...
    landvi landvi
    51-55, F
    7 Responses Jan 1, 2015

    I'm on relate to that with same user name.

    ...hope to see most of u there
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    Mar 24

    Good and true article I found online.

    If I had to get on my knees to beg you NOT to do one thing in your life it would be this –having an affair with a married person. I've read that in the US 56% of married men and 54% of married women have extramarital affairs and that in the US alone almost 50% of all...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 6, 2015

    I am a gift I am the friend you always

    needed The light in a dark day A smile a laugh a deep understanding A trust you've never known I am a gift I am the lover you only met in dreams souls connected through a touch of skin Separated never even when apart I am a gift I am the shine in your eyes The bounce in your...
    Annurban Annurban
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 21

    Yesterday I took the first step to

    feeling Something other than shame and guilt. I took many of ur advise and went to see a therapist. Yup!!! Me!!! A therapist. I was literally laying down in a hotel room and chatting with mm and I just lost it. Called a recommended therapist and booked it. Luckily a...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Feb 9

    If I had one wish right now.

    ... that his wife would just love him, see him for the man he is, treat him well, recognize that she has one of the best men I have ever known. Yes, he is not perfect but he is pretty darn close. That money and titles mean nothing. The type of house you live in doesn't bring...
    Ttiffany330 Ttiffany330
    41-45, F
    Feb 10

    Wherever my sweet love is especially

    when he enjoy himself, he would text and say "I wish you were with me right now." The good night and good morning continue... What an adorable man!
    ReflectedSoul ReflectedSoul
    41-45, F
    Mar 2

    Now that I work in the city I kept running into

    people I know almost on a daily basis. And one of them I have been avoiding is my ex-AP. I saw him twice now in close distant but luckily he didn't see me. One of these days he will spot me. Nothing bad happened between us. I just moved on. He really helped me through one of...
    ReflectedSoul ReflectedSoul
    41-45, F
    Mar 2

    A few updates....went to my therapist in

    Wednesday and she has made me realize That I might be in love with two people for different reasons. I love h for comfort and financial security. As well for the memories and past history but no passion. I am in love with mm for passion. Excitement. Desire. She wants me to...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 7
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