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I Am the Wife of a Sex Addict

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 190 People

    My Husband Is Truely A Sex Addict

    This is a pretty long strory, so bare with me. My husband and I have been married  4 1/2 years and we have two little daughters. I always new he had a really high sex drive, but  I realized he may be a sex addict when we got a computer two years ago. He would constantly...
    zebb zebb 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2010

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    I Trust My Anger...

    Thank you for everyone who has written. There have been some themes that are probably universal, like lying, internet, and always always being held responsible and blamed for his sexual impulses or wants. I "should have known" there was something wrong when the first 6 months of...
    whoamItohim whoamItohim 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 5, 2010

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    Now What Do I Do?

    Been married 5 1/2 yrs and together 8 1/2 yrs, we have 5 children, 13 yo we r adopting, custody of my niece who is 10, 10 yo boy from my previous marriage and 2 boys together ages 5 & 7. We've had issues off and on whenever I felt that something was off..most of the time he was...
    LynnetteK LynnetteK 41-45, F Apr 15, 2013

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    Determined To Survive...

    I hate you I can’t breathe without you I wanted to “save” you I struggle now to “save” myself Left with the aftermath of your destruction Surrounded by the pieces of your distorted reality Somewhere buried underneath the chaos Lie the fragments of what once was me...
    alleycat969 alleycat969 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 22, 2013

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    Finding Out The Truth

    I have been with my husband for 9 years now and I am just now discovering that he is a sex addict. I don't think he has ever cheated on me with another woman, but he has posted and responded to ads on Craigslist multiple times using a secret email. He has set up accounts on other...
    ermendoza30 ermendoza30 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Whaaaaaattttttttttt Is Reeaallly Happening?

    Wow, I never thought I would be in this position, on this computer (after knowing my husband for 20YEARS and married for 12!!) stating "I am married to a sex addict". I moved to Illinois at 17, met my spouse 5 MONTHS later... and have been in "his" world since. I say "His world...
    thisismylifefor20yrs thisismylifefor20yrs 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    What A Shock

    I am in the middle of a divorce with a sex addict. He is a physician and that is very scary. We have 4 adult children, ages 27,25,24 and 22. The 24 yo still lives with me. We were married for 27 years. Eighteen years ago, he had an affair with the 22 yo secretary in his...
    tmp271 tmp271 51-55, F 2 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    The Embarssement Of What I Married!

    Hello every one. Im here to tell a story of the hell my life has been for the last 13 years. My husband ( and i use this term loosley) is a **** addict! And he is by far one of the grossest lowest most perverted ones out there. He plays games with me like if he gets caught he...
    abbreal abbreal 51-55, F Apr 29, 2013

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    Is Sex Addiction Real?

    I wish someone would just hand me the answers to all life's questions...and this question is one that weights heavily on my mind. My STBXH isn't a diagnosed anything. He is charming, good looking and is high-functiong (has a job, good at small talk, witty, etc.). But he has loads...
    Zensters Zensters 41-45 2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

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    I Feel Like I Just Happen To Be The One That Stayed.

    My husband is a very impulsive person and he had no issue telling girls we worked with, friends on Facebook,my friends, even my 17 cousin that they were pretty, cute, hot, etc.. He's been doing this for almost 9 years, Our relationship spans 9 1/2 years. Girls we worked with...
    rebephil rebephil 31-35 4 Responses May 15, 2012

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    Second Life is killing my marriage.

    I married my husband knowing he is a sex addict but love him enough to support him and fight his addiction. He goes to therapy and support groups but he relapses over and over and over again. He is addicted to Second Life which is an interactive online site where you have an...
    mae56 mae56 56-60, F Mar 13

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    I Married A Sex Addict

    Chapter One I lay on the bed – alone. Something was not right. After 13 years of marriage, I knew his patterns. He is usually the one who stayed in bed after sex, not me. But this time, he practically jumped out of bed when we were done. It felt weird. Something was not...
    startedover startedover 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2013

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    Cancer Survivor, Sex Addict Partner

    Hi, I got married in April, 2013. I am also divorced as of 2009 after 7 years of verbal abuse. I knew my new husband had issues when I met him; he was somewhat sexually abused as a child. He was very open with me about it and about the fact that he sometimes went online to...
    kstarrgirl67 kstarrgirl67 46-50, F Jun 16, 2013

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    You Just Don't Know...

    Married 15 years, together 20.  Just when you think you know someone... In the start of our relationship we had a very healthy sex life, satisfying for both of us.     It's been a year now since I confronted my husband with the interenet **** he was seeking...
    angryandhurt angryandhurt 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    An Eye Opening Video On The Effects Of Po*n On Women

    Just watched this, and it is very very good. If you are having all kinds of "crazy", "extreme" reactions and feelings about your husband/partner using po*nography, this will be encouraging to you. You are not crazy! http://vimeo.com/10121058 Begins around the 15 minute mark...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 12, 2012

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    Yup I Too Am In This Night Mare

    I know too well after reading your stories this nightmare, my husband is a sex addict, his problem is with these online dating sites and sexting we have been together for 3 years married for a year have 2 beautiful girls together I found out when I was pregnant with our first...
    lololjgc lololjgc 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

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    Married To Sex Addict

    I am married to a sex addict, which means we do not have sex but he has been caught on **** sites on the computer and now confesses he has a problem. Upon discovery, I made a deal. He goes to counseling and gets help and I stay in the marriage. Going to counseling means regularly...
    emailmilissa emailmilissa 41-45 3 Responses Nov 17, 2010

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    He Hurt Me Deeply And Abused Our Child Sexually

    First I want to tell all of the other women on here how terribly sorry I am that you too were deceived by the man that you married. I am a newbie I suppose at this because I found out about his double life just ten days before Christmas 2009. I knew he was into sex. I wanted...
    agenias agenias 26-30 Apr 1, 2010

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    Had No Clue The Love Of My Life Was A Bi-sexual Sex Addict.(af Wife)

    I met my Airman over three years ago. He is my soul mate, best friend, lover. We always had an open sex life-me and him would view **** together probably twice a week. I had one rule "Don't view **** with out me." A year after being together I found out that he was viewing tons...
    WrigleysMom WrigleysMom 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    I Am Confused, Shocked And Don'T Know Where To Go

    i just discovered that husband of 10 yrs is a sex addict. he has cheated our entire relationship. actually i don't even know if he is a sex addict or something else. the entire time he has struggled with depression, anger issues but overall we had a very happy married life though...
    devastedhere devastedhere 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 13, 2013

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    Hi, I discovered my husbands addiction about 7

    months ago. We had not has sex for years as he was always telling me excuses. He is in treatment now and doing fine. The trouble is that he did not disclose everything at once. Just as things were getting better he confessed that his fantasy were sexually statistic- Rape...
    renosandiego renosandiego 51-55 Jan 29

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    I have caught my husband with **** several

    times over the years. Once resulting In him losing a job. The past 5 Annv have seemed to go by w me just finding some thing out just before hand. I just confronted him again and he has admitted he has screwed up our marriage and has now gone to his second counseling session. I...
    Trogbear Trogbear 51-55, F Dec 6, 2013

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    Confused

    I wrote my full story on another topic including narcissism however would love opinions etc. My husband of 10 yrs. is charming witty and kind ..very smart and confident . He also has done things that are hurtful. it started with having stripclub and **** issues. got rid of the...
    geminivega geminivega 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 28, 2011

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    What Do I Do Next?

    I recently found out my husband was a sex addict.  Actually, I've known for years there was a problem with sex, it's just that now I've been able to put a name to it.  He recently started counseling with a therapist who suggested some reading material for him. ...
    damask199 damask199 41-45 1 Response Apr 7, 2010

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    14 Years Together Before I Found Out

    I too have been married for 19 years to a man who I found out was a sex addict.  I guess I'm slow for it to take so long to figure it out.  I found pictures on his pc of him getting ******* from a HUGE black woman.   I cried, we talked, he gave a...
    stupid1 stupid1 46-50 Jul 23, 2009

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    Which Came First?!

    I'm in the process of divorce which my husband initiated. I didn't want to lose him...we were together for 27 years, married for 17 and have two gorgeous boys (10 and 12 years old). But things with him were strained from the start. The sex issues were the first things I noticed...
    Zensters Zensters 41-45 Dec 9, 2012

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    Married to a Sex Addict For 20 Years

    We have been married almost 20years.  The first couple of years we had sex everyday and 2-3 on weekend days. I thought it was because he loved me so much.  The first time I found out he was having sex with another woman I was in SHOCK.  It was as if he had taken my...
    33Ilovemysexaddicthusband 33Ilovemysexaddicthusband 51-55 4 Responses Jul 11, 2009

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    I Just Found Out

    My husband of 19 years has become a sex addict, has cheated, lied, stolen, spent tens of thousands of dollars and ruined our marriage.  I am devastated and have no one to talk to.  
    TerriShane TerriShane 61-65, F 4 Responses Feb 22, 2012

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    Recovering Addict

    Hello all. I am 26 years old. I am not married, at least not yet, but I am addicted to ****, erotic material, such as erotic stories, non-nude sexual images and ************. The addiction does branch out to leering at women in real life. Out of sheer luck and fortune, this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2013

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    Yup I Too Am In This Night Mare

    I know too well after reading your stories this nightmare, my husband is a sex addict, his problem is with these online dating sites and sexting we have been together for 3 years married for a year have 2 beautiful girls together I found out when I was pregnant with our first...
    lololjgc lololjgc 31-35, F Dec 9, 2012

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    It Can Get Really Bad....

    I do not take p@rn addiction lightly. My life has been changed forever by this addiction. My former husband was a p@rn addict watching 7 hours a day behind my back. Mainly at work and late at night when he was suppose to be working in the next room. He started at the age of 1...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 14, 2013

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    The Connection....emotional Affairs And Sex Addiction

    It seems odd to me that I never before really totally connected my 2 biggest marriage problems in my mind. My husband is a po*n addict, which has almost destroyed our marriage from my point of view, and I think I am having an emotional affair with one of my best friends, which...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

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    Married To A Downward Spiraling Sex Addict

    I've been with my husband for over 10 years, we have two young children. he has been spiraling down into depression, getting easily angry with all of us for the smallest of things, he has multiple women at onetime, I don't think anyone could have so many woman in their lives and...
    goodnight2013 goodnight2013 36-40, F Jul 21, 2013

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    I Am Leaving

    After I caught my husband... AGAIN... Broke out of denial, addressed my co-dependency habits, talked to my counselor every 10 days and came up with a six month plan... six month dead line is Feb 25. I told myself if I didnt feel different about the life at the end of the six...
    thisismylifefor20yrs thisismylifefor20yrs 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2013

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    I Thought He Was Getting Better

    My husband is a sex addict. I have written about him before. He was in counselling and a support group and I thought he was doing better. He has not looked at po*n in a while, and overall things seem to be going well for him. But there is one problem that is a red flag for me...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Lonely

    I have been married for 11 years.  Things have come up that should have made me think.  But I was either in denial or just brushed it off as no big deal.  But my husband has "cheated" on me three times.  I say "cheated" because two of the...
    Sayragirl Sayragirl 26-30 6 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    This Is Not What I Signed On For

    I am married to a sex addict. We think we know when and it all started and why it happened. I still don’t know if we got it right, but does it really matter. We started out with a great relationship, I thought we both had the same plan for how we wanted our lives to progress...
    TypicalPisces TypicalPisces 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 7, 2010

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    Shock Discovery - Husband A Sex Addict

    Hi I am new to this forum and started reading some of the stories here and felt I would love to share mine. I discovered my husband is a sex addict about 4 months ago. For the last year and a half he moved out of home and did not tell me what or why. He told me he was living in...
    fourbears fourbears 41-45, F Feb 12, 2013

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    For All Wives Of Sex Addicts

    I know that most of you are here looking for answers. You want to know how this could have happened to you. Why it happened to you, chances are you have been the perfect wife to him and the perfect mother to his children. I know, I have been exactly where you are now. Whether you...
    TypicalPisces TypicalPisces 31-35, F 13 Responses Jan 11, 2011

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    No Physical Sex

    I have been living with someone for a few years. When we first met he told me that he didn't get any enjoyment out of intercourse. Whch was fine I really dont get into the sexual activity but I do enjoy the intimacy part.We finally got married and I have just found out he has...
    msbrophy msbrophy 46-50, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2010

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    27 Years Of Marriage

    I have been married for 2 years. I knew my husband struggled with ****. His addiction did not spin out of control it crumbled piece by piece.Occasionally I found evidence he set up singles accounts looking for females and chat rooms then it went deeper. One day he went on...
    lindaalves3 lindaalves3 41-45 Jan 20, 2013

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    Getting Better After

    It's actually been a long time since my spouse was an active sex addict. I can't even get into the things he did. It makes me nauseated to remember. But we went through years of therapy, including some in and outpatient stuff for him, and I actually do feel very confident that he...
    devrarivka devrarivka 36-40, F May 20, 2013

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    Answers Needed: How Long Should I Give Him?

    I want to put some kind of deadline as to how long i will stay in this marriage and in our home together if things don't measurably improve in my husband's sex addiction. My husband began counseling in December for po*n addiction, because I basically forced him to. The pain...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 29, 2013

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    First Time Here.....need Advice Please

    I don’t even know where to start but at the beginning. My first marriage was great until about the last 5 years or so. When I was doing some spring cleaning, I clean everything! I came across some movies and magazines that I was not too happy about finding. My husband...
    cantdoitagain cantdoitagain 46-50 2 Responses Oct 8, 2010

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    I've Lived With A Sex Addict For 7 Years.

    I have lived with a sex addict for the last 7 years and it’s literally killing the confident, happy, and outgoing person I used to be.  More than anything or anyone else, I hate myself for continuing to live in this situation with this ******** who truly deserves an Oscar...
    directand2thepoint directand2thepoint 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 6, 2011

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    Just Finding Out....

    if i tell the whole story, it will take a while i think. i'll try to make it as short as i can without leaving anything out. i am 39, am the mother of the most beautiful, amazing 22.5 month old little girl i have ever known, and i am apparently married to a sex addict. i say...
    pupasmom pupasmom 36-40 1 Response Oct 28, 2011

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    If the Good Remain Quiet, the Evil Take Over. Filthy P**n Lovers … Crawl Back Under Your Rock

      So long as people don’t talk about it the problem, it only gets worse. I like to look sexy for my man. My boyfriend thinks I am very sexy looking. And we both hateporn. I learned to be happy alone until I found a male "feminist." My boyfriend thinks...
    iLoveYoualot iLoveYoualot 26-30 9 Responses Jun 19, 2008

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    Telling My Story

    I have told my story to a few of my friends. Short version... my husband and I have been married for almost 25 years, virtually sexless, and 5 months ago, he revealed that he is a sex addict. He kept this hidden from me, and his "acting out" was self-satisfying with the use of...
    morningteatime morningteatime 56-60, F 8 Responses Sep 18, 2011

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    Husband Is A **** Addict, Should I Leave Him?

    My husband is a christian. He is a loving father and a supportive, attentive spouse. He is a person who loves ministry and serving God. And he is a sex addict. I don’t mean he has a higher sex drive than me, or that he is more “sexually charged”. I mean he is...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 5, 2012

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    Man Of My Dreams?

    I have been married to who I thought was the man of my dreams for almost 18mo now. He has been my support through my hardest trials and He was everything I needed. We had a son born at 27 weeks more then 3 mo early, who barely survived, I spent nearly 5 mo in the hospital at his...
    Rdheadedstpcld Rdheadedstpcld 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    I've Just Discovered......

    Hi there, I'm new to the group. I'm a 34 year old, who's been married for 18 months. My husband and I have a beautiful baby boy. I've recently discovered that he's a sex addict, following a spiral of increasingly destructive sexual behaviour over the last twelve months. I've...
    noss noss 31-35, F 5 Responses Feb 23, 2010

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    My Wife Is A Sex Addict

    I am a Husband of a Sex Addict. Our stories are different as is our perspective, but we share the devastating consequences of this terrible disease. Most of us have been faithful, loyal and honored our vows throughout. Some of us stayed and some of us left. We all seek a...
    MyWifeIsASexAddict MyWifeIsASexAddict 46-50 1 Response Dec 30, 2011

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    Life Of Pain & Sorrow- Wife Of A Sex Addict

    Life Of Pain & Sorrow- My Husband Is A Sex Addict. By: Me Written on July 31st, 2012 Im 56, have been married 33 yrs. - When we first got married we had a normal healthy sex life, but within 5 years it stopped. He would never tell me why we no longer had sex, just refused to...
    suemarie56 suemarie56 56-60, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2012

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    He May "recover" But I Am Afraid What Happens If He Doesn't

    I finally stood up for myself yesterday. I made an ultimatum. Make a counseling appointment today, or I will not publicly support you in your christian ministry anymore. I can't handle the hypocrisy for another day. A secret po*n addiction and spiritual ministry do not really...
    kathpro kathpro 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    i have high sex drive. i have FWB and last few months we've done it almost everyday someday more than twice. when i cant get sex, usually i help myself. even today i helped myself...
    netpoison netpoison 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I thought age would slow me down but I feel like I still get enough sex. I have an almost constant hard-on even after sex or ******* off so have to get relief at least 5 times a...
    simba995 simba995 36-40, M 1 Response Apr 7

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