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I Am Tired of Being the "Other Woman"

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 179 People

    This is a long story of my experience

    as a woman dating a woman who's married (to a man). It is all true (based on my experience at least). I will post it in parts as I have time to write. It helps to finally share this experience. I will be judged for it. I judge myself for it every day. But I think it will help to...
    lost333can lost333can 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    This is the actual e-mail I have sent to him

    just now: I can't even talk to you about this. I'm about to break. Please explain to me what are you doing? It makes me feel like you are both hiding my existence from others and also hiding yourself from me. It's not fair, J. It's very hard to believe you are actually...
    highnlow highnlow 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 16

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    So I didn't see him last night decided it

    wasn't worth the gas , he needs to realize I'm not a second choice he doesn't know it or fully understand it yet but I'm gone for good and I don't feel bad about it atleast not right now
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 24

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    This Is Killing Me

    I met him almost 3 years ago and it was love at first sight for both of us.  He was everything I ever wanted in a man and so much more.  Several months into our relationship, I found out his divorce wasn't final and a few months later, after doing some digging (didn't...
    stupidone stupidone 46-50, F 3 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    Tired Being Other Women....

    I have been the other women for 3year, sept 3 of this year... I am getting tired of it,  this man seems to enjoy this situation.
    darlenenelson44 darlenenelson44 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    dropdeadwilma dropdeadwilma 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    So it's been 3 years.

    ...3 very LONG years!!!! I've re-arranged my entire life around this man and last year...I decided that I was done! A little background....we met in HS and were friends....I got divorced about 10 years ago and worked my *** off at 2 jobs to support me and my daughter. It was a...
    Mich627 Mich627 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 17

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    I Just Want To Move Forward!

    Me and my MM have been together now for 3 years.  I have been divorced for a year and he is still married.  I dont doubt his love at all. He pays my house rent, my dstv and is slowly but surely buying furniture for us.  Every night he comes to say good night and...
    Kiep Kiep 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    I'm new here. I recently made the decision to

    uproot my life and move far away from my MM. I just got tired of dealing with it all. His broken promises, his lies.....everything! It didn't help that we worked for the same company. Now I'm in my new place and I find that we're still talking over the phone with much more of...
    movingon2014 movingon2014 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    Me 2

    last night may 8th me & my friend taylor we had 3 some with my boyfriend he had $ex longer her 1 night than me in 3 years i know him. i wish i was my friend taylor he have more $ex with me. he gave her cream pie she share cream pie with me.  new details about something happen...
    Amanda365 Amanda365 26-30, F 1 Response May 9, 2013

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    The OW

    need help ending an affair, I have been with my MM for 12mths, we work together and I see him everyday. He tells me he loves me but doesn't want to leave his wife cause she may do harm to herself. every time I end it which is nearly every month he bombards me with txt, emails...
    roorooey roorooey 36-40 5 Responses Apr 13, 2013

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    Haven't been on here in a

    while glad I'm back and reading a lot of post It's been almost 2 yrs with e.m ( engaged man) So much drama , pain, regret, guilt , anger, resentment I lost my job ( where we worked together) and was so devastated for a few months , slowly we both began losing contact and...
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 21

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    Nothing Serious: The Escape

    I will never leave my Husband for him And he will never leave his wife for me And I am perfectly fine with it I don't really want him... I know it will never work... And I don't really want to live with him. I can't see myself with him Yet I have this guilty pleasure Yearning...
    indigowitch indigowitch 22-25, F Oct 7, 2012

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    We have resumed our relationship

    after the last "break up". And I thought this time, we are going to be more stronger, but in fact, it hurts me even more. He used to ask me to give him few years time and he will leave her and build a life with me. But recently, he told me, he will never ever leave her. Its not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Oct 18

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    He fell asleep here last night

    after one thing lead to another. I hope she feels the way I did the many nights he pulled this very same thing with me. So many makes it seems as if this is okay, wonder how it feels now that the shoe is on the other foot? Because now he is only doing to her what he was doing...
    Itonlytakesone Itonlytakesone 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 19

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    I have a stressful job

    so when I say I am stressed that means I am unusually so. Lately, my hair is falling, I sleep lesser hours, my skin is dry and my hyperacidity is acting up. This double life is not helping and I so want to get out of it. For years I have been with my MM. It is ideal in a lot...
    ScarletSilk ScarletSilk 36-40, F Aug 14

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    Will The Pain Stop.....? :-(

    My affair hasn't been going on that long but it seems like an eternity. Our relationship is a long distance relationship, he is married as am I. He has kids, I don't. We met  in August this year when I travelled interstate for work and visited staff in one of our company's...
    amay10 amay10 31-35, F 9 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    I need so much help to end this.

    I am so weak and I know that hes not treating me like I deserve. Almost 7years and taking me for granted. How are you ending this and what is working?
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    Deleted his number as taken me out of his phone.

    feeling sick about it.he mocks me because I'm in love with him and it hurts says I'm acting like a 15 year old not 50.im upset hes taken my number out of his home after 2 years.im now living with someone who I don't love and my life is spiralling out of control.i want councelling...
    Pommy8 Pommy8 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I always told myself

    that I would never be involved with someone who was already taken. But 7 months I was involved with my co/worker who already had a girlfriend. It was just supposed to be a one time thing, but he kept on coming back. Finally he told me we could no longer see each other anymore...
    Lad1531 Lad1531 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 1 Response May 5

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    I think im done....its his wedding anniversary

    today..i didnt ask had they plans because i didnt want to know.I know things have been strained between them since she found out a little bit about us and i guess i was worried he would be expected to go above and beyone the cause on this anniversary... My friend called me at...
    Jellytots2412 Jellytots2412 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 20

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    Letting you go has been a slow process

    but I know it in my blood - the worst part is over. On Dec 31, 2013 I told myself that exactly one year from then, I would not be in the same place. I'm keeping that promise. I didn't choose to fall for you at all, much less this deeply. We didn't choose to find this. I don't...
    celticwarrior96 celticwarrior96 36-40, F Apr 9

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    He Snuck In Under The Wire!

    We started out as friends. I knew his family, wife, kids, freinds... One day I realized that I was looking forward to seeing him. I thought he would go away and then he kissed me. Its been 2.5 years and he calles me every night. Not Saturday or Sunday. He comes to see me about...
    redjr47 redjr47 56-60 2 Responses Mar 5, 2012

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    I am his wife but yet I feel like I'm the other

    woman. It's about to be two months since I gave the hubby an ultimatum his family or this other woman. As I suspected he choose her, so many were suggesting for me to do this for the longest believing this will awaken him from the affair fog, the very thing I feared came true. I...
    Itonlytakesone Itonlytakesone 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 13

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    I always afraid about being 'other woman',

    you know love makes people so stupid.. Hopefully ive never been the other woman and yes i really like innocent part of love ...
    fauxlady fauxlady 22-25, F Sep 1

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    This Is Killing Me

    I met him almost 3 years ago and it was love at first sight for both of us.  He was everything I ever wanted in a man and so much more.  Several months into our relationship, I found out his divorce wasn't final and a few months later, after doing some digging (didn't...
    stupidone stupidone 46-50, F 4 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    Hey ladies, How do I tell my MM it is over

    for good now. We can try be friends but can't carry on like this. We live so close and I am starting to lose the plot here. I saw him thursday and it really just feels he using me. I was not there long.I don't know how he does it because sitting there in his home starting to...
    stupid28 stupid28 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 15

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    I love my mm so very much.

    But there are times when he pulls away and I am sick of the games. I know it would be better to be without him. But I just cant seem to let go. Our relationship has been six-years and it is a hard habit to break. When he is being attentive he is wonderful. when he gets off...
    blue963 blue963 51-55, F 3 Responses Sep 1

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    Support Group In Manhattan Anyone?

    i know it sounds INSANE to develop a support group for "the other women" - women in affairs, in love with married men. It was a poor choice in the first place, i know it, we all do. some of us didn't even know they were taken. now they promise the world. promise to tear apart...
    muchagem muchagem 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 13, 2013

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    *update* London based Research... Are You Interested?

    Following my previous posts about research regarding the other woman I am now conducting a quick survey which i would be grateful if you could take a few minutes to complete: Survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BHLJ52X Also, for any other women/men who were or are interested...
    EmmaResearch EmmaResearch 22-25 Jun 14, 2012

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    New And Don't Know What To Do

    I've been seeing this guy...let's call him Mr. B...for about a month.  I think it's too soon to have "the talk" but I don't know.  Our story...we met a while ago.  He came into my work...we chatted...then went our seperate ways.  A while passed...
    L80olivia L80olivia 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2009

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    How Do I Walk Away??

    10 years ago I met the man of my dreams. He was everything I ever dreamed of but never thought existed. Within 6 months I was head over heels in love with him. We were together every day and I was on cloud nine. About a year into the relationship he said he was going away with...
    Tmc1212 Tmc1212 31-35 4 Responses Nov 14, 2011

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    Is anyone sick and tired of friends

    who don't understand? Friends who, at this point, flat out call you stupid for still loving/being with a MM? They don't understand. I don't know why I still try to make them understand, and why I keep expecting them to?! They will never get it.
    celticwarrior96 celticwarrior96 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    alright ladies. I am gonna attempt to end my

    addiction ...yet again. Its been four years running.. the first step is ending communication right. I can do this. I have blocked his emails.. awwwh how the anxiety kicks in.
    kelyse2506 kelyse2506 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5

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    How did I get myself in a mixed up

    relationship ? Better yet how do I get out of it ?? Please help me. . I have been the other woman for a year and a half. I would have never thought this would be me . I hate being this woman but I have totally fallen in love with this man as he has fallen in love with me . I...
    Islandfishinggirl Islandfishinggirl 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 26

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    He didn't call yesterday

    and I stayed strong and didn't call him. I've had NC since I ended it on friday. I seem to do okay during the day as long as I stay busy but at night.... I cry and miss him like hell! I'm sure he won't call today either. So now I'm just taking it day by day.
    warwithin12 warwithin12 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 28

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    The Secret F#@k

    For the last 7 years, I've had 5 relationships with married men, or men in committed relationships. At first it wad because I was so afraid of getting hurt, I knew they would never leave, so I was safe, I was hooking up with several guys, they knew I was seeing others but they...
    Gaelynthewicked Gaelynthewicked 46-50 4 Responses Mar 27, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I realize more and more everyday that I am not cut out for this. I am not okay with being the other woman. The longer he stays with her and complains about her to me the more and...
    xXmissXx xXmissXx 26-30, F 17 Responses Dec 7

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    I do fantasize about being a woman. As far back as I can remember I have fantasized about being a girl. I wanted the long curly hair, the beauty of a girl, wearing girls clothes...
    Adam59 Adam59 56-60, M 4 Responses Dec 2

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    Question: for the unhealthy trolls looking to shame, condemn, judge, and crucify those of us who found love in an unfortunate place - why not go to a group called "I'd like your...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 12

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    I keep reading so many posts about not being first in his life and him not making "us" a priority. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now about that ... Does anyone else? Part...
    confusedhearts confusedhearts 41-45, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm hurt. How can it possibly be that hard to write down two very simple, small words? Well, as anyone that may be reading this and can empathize with being "the other woman" knows...
    latenightthinker latenightthinker 31-35, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ladies, I feel soo good today. I've been on vacation with the family (awesomeness BTW, you must visit Mozambique it's beautiful.). That's not all that's making me warm and fuzzy...
    Strang3r Strang3r 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I never meant for it to happen. I never meant for it to feel so right. I had my own things going on. My own boyfriend, who's treatment left MUCH to be desired, you had a wife, you...
    Daniilion Daniilion 31-35, F Nov 29

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    Am I really? Am I really the other woman? Sometimes I think about it... He texts or calls when he feels like it, I do the same. I don't sit by my phone waiting for him to call...
    latenightsxo latenightsxo 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 2

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    is it weird that I never mind being the other woman? i know its wrong and am hurting the guy's girl bt i think am the no lovey dovey romantic type and as long as she doesn't find...
    jolly5 jolly5 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 7

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    I've never been the "other woman" but to the women who are, STAND FOR SOMETHING & STOP BEING AT HIS DISPOSAL
    Rosebox Rosebox 18-21, F 18 Responses Dec 16

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    Do any of you live by these rules? I didn't know that were real until I looked them up one day. It was amazing how many I was doing and didn't know they were an understanding . I...
    yori1983 yori1983 46-50, F 17 Responses Dec 17

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    It's been nearly 5 years since we came into each other's lives. Year one of our relationship we both left our unhappy marriages. Because kids are involved and both of our spouses...
    kimberlyfaith kimberlyfaith 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 6