despair is as addictive as heroin and more popular than sex, for the single reason that when one is unhappy one gets to pay a lot of attention to oneself. Misery becomes a kind of emotional ************.”
― Tom Robbins, Wild Ducks Flying Backward
EVERY relationship I am in! I have a therapist and she tells me it's because I am loyal and pure hearted.
It sucks that being a good person is what people choose to pick on and care the least about.
I wish I could be meaner but I legit do know how-- unless it's unintentional...
Been putting in a steady 60 hours a week. I have kids that play sports. Seems like im always on the go. Always seems like a practice or game is going on. I pretty much run every day on 5 hours of sleep. Trying to juggle my job and kids but its exhausting. My husband works 12...
And some kid had the nerve to wake me up by yelling in my ear! My dreams were definitely more interesting than algebra. Maybe I should sleep more, nah the internet was created to prevent people from sleeping, I swear.
more kind, more loving. I know that I am married to a good man. I know that I am lucky that he does the grocery shopping, washes the dishes, and does all the laundry.
I am grateful. I really, really am. I am grateful that I can have a career because he is so helpful at...
for being shy
I'm sorry that I don't say hi to people I know are gonna take it the wrong way
I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of friends cause I a tried of being let down and disappointed
Really dad I'm sorry.
The tiredness helps me sleep, but the only sucky thing is I always end up jolting awake in the middle of the night.
Just one more day.
Hang on for one more day.
Then I can sleep the sunlight away.
Oh I rhymed yippee-ki-yay.
Mentally fine, but physically tired. Or are they the same? I don't know. My brain is tired of working on all these projects, all these fires that need to be put out.
Everyday something new gets added on to my plate.
I am in dire need of a vacation... but the only...
with some kind of intestinal bug for the past 12 that has left me exhausted, but too uncomfortable to sleep. My motor skills have dropped to drunken levels with me stumbling around the house, barely able to focus on a task. Great way to spend my first day off with good weather...
but its quite a relaxing tired, quite a 'satisfied' tired.
I am back at work after a good couple weeks with the family, I live and work away from them so Was quite emotional but a tremendously fun time My family and I had together.
So I lay here in bed and it feels like...
the filth, we are all insignificant but everyone thinks he is the center of the universe, we need to wipe and restart I don't like this version of earth, it's easier to wipe and rebuild than to fix this mess humanity put its self into.
when I was in a really desperate place, I met some nice people and I had a few conversations with one or two of them, then I just didn't log back into it until I got an email to say that it was closing. That kind of made me sad, that another thing of the past is closing it's...
for the next week because it should be quiet... My calendar was completely free and it will be the lull after a major deadline... and before things start getting crazy again 😭
Unfortunately my boss shot this down saying that she needs me and the new guy isn't up to speed yet...
I am not making any promises to thyself anymore. Nor my list of to do and do not's. Wow, must I really be tested like this. Hmn life. As I age, it still gets more amusing. I was trying to find ways to have it in me (again) the will and the power to roll with the punches. Hmn...
while complaining how life is hard and whatever and how shes soo tired and is in pain while watching tv and yelling every 2 seconds , even the house chores are all on me , my little brother and sister are all over the place and she doesnt even care . im getting really tired of...
. . . and start thinking about a bunch of stuff.
Like how I want:
for someone to let me pet their baby bat.
a ride to the park at 6 AM to make dew angels in the grass.
to understand why I should care about economies and summations when all I want to do is think about cats.
With work, training, life, and etc. Now, I'm on this no carb diet & feel miserable (lol). But the sucky part, that I've been soooo busy that I rarely get to relax and chill w/ people. I guess that the price you pay to better yourself. 😏
How I've been struggling... How I think I'm burned out.
There's always a pressure for us to always over perform and appear perfect.
But I don't think I can keep it up anymore.
I haven't been sleeping well for months. I used to be able to sleep for 6-7 hours, but...
I experience a day like today. The fog drifts in. Not all at once. Just a little at a time. Chipping away at my light.... Seemingly robbing me of smiles and humor that are the typical me.
Today. I look in the mirror and am aghast at my reflection. Symmetry no longer...
tired of being sad
I'm tired of pretending
I'm tired of being alone
I'm tired of being angry
I'm tired of feeling crazy
I'm tired of feeling stuck up
I'm tired of needing help
I'm tired of being different
I'm tired of feeling worthless
I'm tired of wishing I could start over
having had to fake a smile and pretend I had my life together in front of all my relatives at my grandfather's funeral... When I finally reached home, I was overcome by waves of emotions; was not even sure whether I was happy, sad, upset, or what anymore. These feelings soon...
for everything and still falling short. I worked hard for my education and still can't seem to get the job I want. Everyone else seems to get a job right out of college or just before they graduate, I'm still temping. Now I'm moving and where I'm going I have to go through the...
How much longer will this go on?
Every single day I wake up to a grey overcast morning, no hope left in my heart, and an unending desire to just not be.
Tomorrow....if it comes, that is, will be the same.
My soul has lingered too long in this dark place.
Tired of being tired...
so I laid down as I was drifting off I keep hearing the ticking of a clock of some sort I don't have any clocks in my house I just use my phone clock. But I remembered I had bought a pocket watch weeks before at hot topic but I didn't remember where it was so as I'm laying there...
and I shall bid you all good night! I leave you with this request...
If you see a wrong, make it right. Make someone smile every day. And leave the place a little better than you found it.
I love you all!
. Physically and mentally, but mentally even more..I am not sick (i think) and I am also not depressed or suffering of a mental disorder (I think), I just need to be charged with love, just like how you charge a phone and then it starts working perfectly again, I just need some...
that I spent almost the whole day working on! Yay! Celebrate!
Now moving on to the next one....... :')
Also, to the smug bastards who are leaving the office already and saying goodbye with, "See you next year!" because they will be on leave......... Screw you. 😂
I've been walking around in an antihistamine fog this week (yes, they are non drowsy but apparently not non-foggy!).
Change of seasons is such a nasty time for me, hay fever galore. My body is so tired and sore from sneezing. Ugh.
Ok, whinge over. Thanks for listening x