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I Am Trying to Get Over My Husband Having An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 179 People

    I'm struggling. We have two young kids,

    1 & 3. I don't believe in divorce. He went away out of town for work November 4th, came home November 22 and asked for a separation. He then stayed in our spare room until he left for "work" again 28th. He came home on the 1st asking to reconcile....he admits to sleeping...
    Andromeday Andromeday 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 6, 2013

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    Why Do I Feel Like I Need To Dig For More Information

    So 6 months later and I decide to look up my husbands phone records from the month he had the affair.Well,noticed he was also sent some inappropriate picture messages in which he replied to.Really,could it get worse.Geuss I should learn to stop digging and leave well enough alone...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 4 Responses May 29, 2013

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    My Husband Cheated And Wants A Second Chance

    A few weeks after my husband and I first heard the heartbeat of our child, I discovered a picture of him with a half-naked girl on his phone. Through a gradual unveiling of truths, he now has admitted to having sex with an employee of his a year ago. "It was only a few times and...
    Rosie201 Rosie201 31-35, F 12 Responses Dec 9, 2012

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    My Heart Feels Dead

    I just found out yesturday that my husband had a very short affair. I am SO ANGRY! I confronted him.. during the time he was having the affair I was 8.5 months pregnant with our daughter. This nasty female financed a vehicle for him, got insurance and even registered it for...
    babygirlnumber01 babygirlnumber01 26-30 14 Responses Jun 29, 2009

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    One Night At A Time...

    He asked if I was going to come upstairs tonight because I hadn't slept in our bed for the past two nights. I said I would, but continued to lay on the air mattress staring at the tv. He reached for my hand to help me up and I reluctantly gave it to him and trudge up the stairs...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    I Need My Best Friend!

    It was one of those moments... One of those things that I could only talk to my husband or God about, And God wasn't listening. He wanted sex and I needed to talk. But me needing to talk only provoked, "Oh my Gahhh!!!" I could feel the walls go up around my heart And the...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 30, 2012

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    It'S Not The End

    For anyone who has experienced their spouse having an affair, I just want to tell you that there is hope. A marriage can survive an affair. It can actually become "better than new". It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of grace and forgiveness. It takes a lot of honesty...
    tropicalislandgirl tropicalislandgirl 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 6, 2013

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    Its Going To Be Another One Of Those Days.

    So we are going on 6 months since my husbands affair and still waking up feeling blah.I just want a hug right know.I woke up sad .Partly because my husband had to go out of town today and I have a really hard time with that seen as how his affair happened while he was out of town...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 4 Responses May 20, 2013

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    How Do I Move On

    I found out my husband was cheating a few weeks ago... im not sure where to begin in trying to heal. i feel disrespected, disregarded, unappreciated and most importantly his cheating has made me feel like i'm not enough. My love is not enough to keep him. before meeting him i...
    99probs 99probs 26-30 1 Response Nov 30, 2011

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    Can't Forget

    I am trying very hard to get over my husband being with someone else. About a year ago we got in a huge fight and since that moment everything changed. He said he needed space so I left to my moms, but after a couple of weeks of not talking I realized something else had to be...
    maripaz724 maripaz724 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    My Wife Had An Affair Before We Were Married But Just Confessed

    Ok...here goes. The story that I can't let go. We'll start with some background. I know this group is for women trying to get over a husband who had an affair, but I'm thinking a woman's perspective might be helpful to me. I have been married now for just over 3 years to who I...
    cj71 cj71 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 22, 2013

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    Trying To Forget

    Trying to forget my husbands affair
    Tommyone Tommyone 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 21, 2012

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    Having Dreams

    So I am not having bad dreams anymore about my husbands affair but am now having dreams of me having an affair.Really,like it could get any worse?Is this normal.I am having a hard time with this and do wonder what it would be like to have sex with another man.Just once,curiousity...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 4 Responses May 10, 2013

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    Weak Or Far Too Strong?

    He tried to make up and apologize. Eventhou he did not confess of his intention to initiate an infidelity. Repetitously saying he will never do that to me. (who is in the right mind would sign up for such website without any intention?) and I simply can't accept it.. I have no...
    JustDontMindMe JustDontMindMe 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2012

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    He Said It Was Always Wonderful

    I don't understand it at all. My H said our marraige was always wonderful. We had sex all the time- it was good. We really talked to each other. Sure in 20 years of marrage we had ups and downs, but really it was still good. This happened about 16 months ago. He said he had...
    alittlethis alittlethis 36-40 7 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    I Choose Him Over Myself

    I don't think I can continue to torture myself with this Man. We live together have for 22 years. I can't stand the agony, and pretending it didn't happen. He isolated me from my daughters, he always tells me they're not worth missing. I have 3 beautiful grandchildren my...
    Bittersweet48 Bittersweet48 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 12, 2013

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    Why Dont People Want To Talk About The Affair

    It's been 2 months since I found out that my husband was having a affair for 3 and half months there someday I think about it all day long I want to know why was it because the drugs or I wasn't given him what he needed I want to understand why would he tell me he loves her and...
    cmarcus cmarcus 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 29, 2013

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    Just For Me...

    Not a day goes by that I don't battle myself. Half of the world tells me that it isn't my fault. The other half says that it is all my fault. Of course, my response to everyone is that I hold him completely responsible. The truth is that I'm always second guessing myself now...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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    Heartbroken

    My husband of 20 years is having an affair. He's been with her 9 months or so. He claims he wants to stay with me but that needs time to end it. Don't worry-- I'm know that's a bunch of bull. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too.I don't know what to do. Should I try to...
    Hobbled Hobbled 41-45 2 Responses Aug 8, 2011

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    My Husband Had A 2 Year Affair

    My husband of 17 yrs was having a 2 yr affair ! I feel so dumb for not even realizing something was wrong! I caught him in January and he broke it off with her, they work together which is even worse! He doesnt seem like he is sorry in fact he acts like nothing ever happened! He...
    mizled033 mizled033 36-40 5 Responses May 15, 2012

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    My Husband Is Cheating And I Want To Give It Time

    My husband came home a month ago and told me I make him nothing but unhappy and he cares for this girl he met at work. At first I was angry, then I begged him to reconsider, then I wondered why me. We have two sons together and a third on the way. He also has custody of his...
    rachaelt31 rachaelt31 31-35, F 4 Responses May 22, 2013

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    Is It Really Worth It

    I dislike waking up every morning thinking am I that bad of a person that my husband felt he needed to cheat.I look at myself and wonder what is wrong with me.Everyone else likes me but I wasn't enough to make him stop.What the heck.Why do I feel like crap.Its not fair.I wonder...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 3 Responses Apr 19, 2013

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    Last night was our monthly Retrouvaille support

    group (called CORE) for marriage meeting. Summary, for anyone new to this part of EP, we are over a year since I discovered his affair, and he ended it with his OW (other woman). We have done a number of things to help our marriage heal, and this is one of them. The rest are...
    lillynfriends lillynfriends 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 8

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    Dont Know What To Say

    Still having a really hard time trying to get over my husband cheating on me.Does it really get any better?Does anyone start to feel better and that its not there fault.I feel like Im a piece of crap who allowed myself to get taken advantage of.I feel like im not pretty enough or...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 6 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    I Don'T Want To Feel This Way

    My husband of 7 years had an affair with a coworker. I have been reading other stories and I see a lot of coworker affairs. I only work part time since going back to work and I have a really stressful job so I guess I don't sympathize. He started coming home talking about her...
    needmysanityback needmysanityback 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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    My Husband Almost Left Me For Another Woman

    My husband is a marine who was gone our first whole year of marriage. At the end of the year he was able to come home for 3 weeks & I got pregnant. He went back to work out of state for four months & our relationship & marriage changed so much. We both knew something was missing...
    Sweet180 Sweet180 22-25 Nov 11, 2012

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    What To Do After 20 Years My Partner Has Cheated On Me Dont Know What To Do

    i have just recently found out my partner of 20 years had an affair with a woman from half way across the world the used to play cards on Facebook and it started from there he went to Melbourne for his usual football trip normally he goes for 3 days but for some reason he went...
    3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

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    The Exchange

    They say that things will never change, that he can't and won't change. They say that he will always be a cheater. I have decided that I don't want him to change... Instead let's exchange. There are parts of our marriage that need to be different, Not just for this season, but...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    To Much

    The pain is to much I hardly can hold my self together I really just want to end it
    4 Responses Jan 9, 2013

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    I forgave my husband for his affair of one night but im still hurt

    Well my boyfriend and I move in together on 2007 it was pretty good and on 2008 we got married and had problems like any many couples my husband started to talk on the party line and talked to different girls wen I found out it hurt me alot that he can spend time to talked to...
    Jan 18, 2013

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    Can You Ever Really Trust Them Agian?

    We have been through counseling over and over again, but it only helped temporarily. My husband likes the attention he gets from other women. It's like he has a hole in his soul. There is no filling it, no matter how much love or attention I give him. I'm tired of failing him. I...
    LifeGaveMeLemons LifeGaveMeLemons 46-50, F 3 Responses May 20, 2013

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    How This Woman Wants To Be Loved...

    When I say that nothing is wrong, hold me until I can tell you without exploding. When the kids wake up at night, get up with them to give me a break from having taken care of them all day. When I cook a great meal, wash the dishes. When you hear me crying, come and hold me. When...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Will I Ever Forget ???

    2 weeks tomorrow I found out my husband of 22 years was talking to another women . He accidentally answered the phone on front of me , if he didn't I would still never know . He said it was someone to talk to about his recovering drug addiction . Someone he met there . She didn't...
    Clrobinson Clrobinson 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    Date Night

    Yesterday morning I had planned a late Mother's Day Gift to myself. A day of beauty at the spa. My daughter had also chipped in with my mother to include a pedicure to go along with this day at the spa. It all started at 9:00 am with hair highlights and color, manicure, shampoo...
    ozzymom ozzymom 41-45, F 1 Response May 20, 2013

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    I am feeling such mixed feelings.

    Firstly I feel enormous pressure to look beautiful, to make a big effort not to upset him, to make the kids behave and to meet all of his needs. I'm putting this on myself but I feel that if I let my guard down he'll go searching elsewhere again. I am feeling really sorry for...
    Tess6 Tess6 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Should I Just Let Him Go?

    After my husband assured me that his affair with his coworker was over I discovered that it went on for another two months, and that he had just gotten much better at hiding their meetings. I believe it now has really been over for a month. I am pretty sure of this because I...
    needmysanityback needmysanityback 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2013

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    Betrayed wives, I have been posting stories

    and resources under "I am trying to save my marriage" and a few other places. An EP pal, Uht2014, has some really good info on her profile as well. We are both still with our husbands, months after affairs nearly destroyed our families. I caught my husbands texts in the summer...
    lillynfriends lillynfriends 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    Still Suffering

    Just under three months ago, purely by chance, I discovered love emails that were written by my husband to a woman he works with. There's no point expressing to you all the incredible and beautiful history of our marriage and friendship or the strong relationship we had/have, our...
    GraduallyHealing GraduallyHealing 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 17, 2013

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    I Just Want Some Attention

    I feel as if no matter how much attention my husband tries to give me for the mistake he made,cheating on me its never gonna be enough.I want attention from someone who didn't disappoint me like that.I want to be able to look at someone with care,and not disappointment,with...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 6 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    Our foundation was completely destroyed.

    There is absolutely no trust. I gave him all of me. I loved the vulnerability. We probably won't make it as some marriages do. I am okay with that. My fear is that I will never be able to let go and love again without guarding my heart.
    truthandbeauty truthandbeauty 36-40, F 8 Responses Jul 1

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    I wonder if there will ever be a day

    where I will look in the mirror and not compare myself to the women my husband has slept with. I wonder if there will ever be a day when the nightmares and flashbacks subside. I wonder if there will ever be a day where I won't cry. He is very repenting, but no matter how...
    Deadlikemestillwalking Deadlikemestillwalking 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 14

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    Fear

    The road to recovery begins with facing my fears. The two biggest fears that I have are so stupid...because they contradict each other. I fear staying in this relationship because he could be making a huge fool out of me and hurt me again. I also fear leaving and asking for a...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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    I Just Can't Get Over It

    My husband and I are high school sweethearts and best friends. He is the only man I've ever been with because we started dating so young . He joined the Air Force right out of high school and I packed up my whole life and went with him. We have been together for 10 years now. I...
    ValChix2 ValChix2 26-30, F 5 Responses May 16, 2011

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    Why Was I Not Enough?

    My husband and I have been separated for almost a month because he had an affair. The separation did not come because I kicked him out but rather because he left me for her. At first, I died a little inside. I cried all the time and lived like a zombie. If it were not for my...
    catucutie catucutie 36-40, F 9 Responses Dec 8, 2012

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    A window into the emotions of a couples

    counseling session as the betrayed wife...and those "AHAH!" moments. We are past a year since DDay. Our sessions back then were on coping with the affair, the ending of the affair, and the repercussions. For anyone new, there are too many subjects to just summarize. I have our...
    lillynfriends lillynfriends 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    My Partner Cheated On Me With A Beautiful Woman - Where Do You Go From There?

    In December 2012 my partner came home from work and said he was leaving me for a woman that he had fallen in love with on sight; she felt the same and she was leaving her partner for him. I was totally devastated and we spent the night talking, crying and the next day he moved...
    RockinRobyne1 RockinRobyne1 56-60, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    Still Here But Am I Really Here

    Hello to everyone.My story is long but I will try to make it short.Husband of 16 years had an affair 5 months ago also hes the only man ive ever been with.He is not in contact with her.Its only happened once.He is very remorseful,prays every day,very patient with my mood swings...
    CalebMadison2 CalebMadison2 36-40 2 Responses Apr 18, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    It's been over two years ago since my husband had this affair. I still can't get over it. To be honest I don't think I ever will. Still can't trust him 100%. I've been trying to...
    mysticangel40 mysticangel40 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 3

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    This is to all the women having affairs with married men right now. I want to share my story of my experience with having a relationship with a married man, in hopes that you...
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 5 Responses Oct 5

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    Lately I've been reading soooo many posts about people "trying" to end their affairs. I also get a lot of messages from people who are usually in their first week of no contact and...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    All these ******* post about females having affairs on ep. It turns me on, but yet I never see anyone who would with me. I guess thats what I get from being ugly.
    MyStruggleIsMyself MyStruggleIsMyself 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    We been together for 4 years and I finally got pregnant after 2 years of trying. My husband is constantly cheating on me. I found out from this woman who he slept with that my...
    anne2387 anne2387 26-30, F 19 Responses Sep 26

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