I posted this as a story as well, but didnt get much response. I am new here so i'm not really sure how this all works...
It is refreshing to hear that I am not the only one going through this. As I read over some of your other stories and realize how similar they are to mine, I am kind of at ease that it is not just me, there's not just something horribly wrong with me, but that these kind of things happen. I, too, got married young, my husband was my best friend and i love him but i don't know if i was ever really 'in love' with him. like what other people have said, i often have thought of just running and never looking back but i have two young children and i am afraid of what it will do to them. my hubby and i have talked about this, and i feel like i have done what i can and there are times that things seem ok for a while but then they just slide right back down. I have the added element of deep regret of a past 'potential' love that was never saught out but those feelings are ever constant on my mind. I'm not the type of person to cheat but i feel like my heart has never fully belonged to my husband at all. How long am i supposed to 'stick it out' to make this marriage work before it is just useless efforts? my husband doesnt want me to leave, but really how unfair is it to him for me to stay? or is that just a lie i'm telling myself to give fire to the 'leaving' arguement...
I also feel like it is selfish of me to put my happiness over my kids', but at the same time realize that if i am in an unhappy marriage, how can that be a good atmosphere for my children to grow up in? Kids don't need to have two parents living together to grow up to be good people. They may be mad/resentful for a while, but eventually can learn to forgive the parent that left and move on. I think it is easier for them to accept if they are younger when it happens.
I am a christian who doesnt believe in simple divorce, but I also don't think it's black and white. I hear people saying that I made a commitment and now i have to live with that, but I just really don't think it's that simple. I know several people who are divorced, some where OK'd by pastors.
I love getting time away from my kids. I know that is one of the worst things to say as a parent. I love them, but i just really enjoy time without them. If I were to leave, because of the situation, my husband would have majority custody... but would I be ok with that? would they?
I just keep thinking of the little things i do around the house as a stay-at-home mom, it's not a lot cuz i have medical issues, but just the extra things my husband would have to pick up doing if I were gone and it's not fair to put that all on him, but is that a reason to stay in a marriage if i'm not in love?
Any responses greatly appreciated.