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I Am Very Selective When It Comes to Letting People Get Close

For anybody who has a hard time -really- opening up to people, because of past relationships or experiences.. 27,628 People

    It probably would be nice to have a lot of

    people in my life but I've realized that you can't allow just anyone in your life without really getting to know them. A person may have some serious issues going on that can bring harm to you. You must know their character, background.. all that matters when I make a decision...
    strawberry38 strawberry38 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 1

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    I had one best friend cut contact with me

    for his g/f, now wife. Another went into a business deal with me and within a week of business start-up decided to cut and run and leave me hanging, nearly bankrupted me. For this and multiple other reasons I am slow to trust and do not let everyone into my life.
    lmtnmn lmtnmn 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 13

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    Finding the right people to be your friends is

    a task in itself and once you find them another task is to see if they are they are good enough to be really close to your heart.. I may have not chosen the wrong people to be around me but probably have always selected the wrong people to be close to my heart. Or maybe I...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have to have some kind of connection with you

    before I let anyone in. Trust is very important to me.
    whyisitsohard44 whyisitsohard44 41-45, F 17 Responses May 19

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    I am selective about letting people get close

    to me. I have come to realize that it probably doesn't matter how selective you are or not. Most people do what they want in the end. I have been very selective. I've been discerning. I've paid attention. But a dilemma for me is when "trust" is established, then what? A...
    NYX78 NYX78 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 22

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    My heart Is a many faceted substance.

    While it slumbers, dark watchmen hold vigil. Their shields are stout, their manner fiercely protective.It becomes pliant and awakens scarcely. When it does, it feasts in a riot of delight and wonder at what it sees. It feels with such intensity, fervor and ferocity that it is...
    SwanSongRebeL SwanSongRebeL 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    When you have social anxiety

    and Tourette's, you are used to being labeled as a weirdo. I'm not the type that show my emotions. For instance I hardly cry. So if you hurt my feelings, it won't show instantly. It will however hurt like hell on the inside, instantly. But I rarely show my emotions. I've been...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 9

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    Nothing solidifies a new friendship at the ripe

    ol age of 24 quite like a sleepover. Today I came home from a weekend trip with a girlfriend, her boyfriend and her 7yr old son. Last night After my first real heart to heart with her, yes around a campfire how perfect, I was laying in bed thinking this is the first new person...
    itscake itscake 22-25, F Aug 11

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    Im very selective when it comes to my friends.

    In the past i used to be cool with almost everyone at my school. Now that im older (16), i come to realize that not everyone is your friend. There are some people i look at now and in my head im like"Wow was i reallyyy friends with this b!tch". People need to open their eyes...
    stacy0508 stacy0508 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 2

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    I am usually very cautious about

    who I let into my life. I won't bore you with the back story, but I do not trust easily. It takes time for me to feel a level of friendship or intimacy. Every time I think I've moved past this, I'm proven wrong by the people I've chosen to let in. I always swear it will never...
    smhinterrupted smhinterrupted 36-40, F 7 Responses Jan 15

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    So I am writing this

    because I have tried over and over to write about myself . I just keep a lot private . I only have a few people I truly let in. I admire everybody here who can let go & express what they feel . Me on the other hand ; I always feel as I should write more ; but my own deep truths...
    LavenderTeal23 LavenderTeal23 31-35, F 4 Responses May 14

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    People...

    I assume that everyone at some point is going to hurt me in a really bad way. I never really had friends and after high school, I just kinda stopped talking to everyone. I'm 20 now. I don't have friends. I have people that I'll hang out with every once in a while but they're far...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 1, 2012

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    Value....

    "A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile." -- Sushan R Sharma
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    Im happy to be with people with sense of humor

    or those that agrees with me. Unfortunately not all are like that.
    Elleshore81 Elleshore81 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    MissWorld33 MissWorld33 36-40, F 4 Responses May 24

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    I haven't built just a wall around me; I've

    constructed a bomb shelter inside a nuclear bunker set into the side of a mountain.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 4

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    I have trust issues because of my past

    and therefore I am very cautious who I let close to me.
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    I try and study them first

    and be observant. For example if a friend that is close with the person I'm studying and the person I'm studying talks crap, I'll know not to get close to them. Idk I think I'm picky
    jacithepanda jacithepanda 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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    Why so serious? Some people may think I am snob

    and serious person. Sometimes I am, sometimes I am just shy or tired. I might accelerate to extreme seriousness if needed. It's a useful thing at keeping unnecessary people away.
    JAD01 JAD01 31-35, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    Online I have learned

    that is easier to let me come into my life. Maybe it's because I can lay all my cards on the table and you can take me or leave me. I think in person I worry about coming off to intense or ever cold. A lot of people think that I am an ice queen but it really is not the case; I...
    Chicgeekgal Chicgeekgal 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 3

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    i might be an open book

    and tell u all the past events in my life, as well as planned events. but that doesnt mean ive let u in. im very selective with who i let in on an emotional level. im like that with everyone.
    000SadisticBitch000 000SadisticBitch000 26-30, F 6 Responses May 14

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    Glimpse Of What Might Be

    You touched my cheek and twisted my hair around your finger. You held my hand and kissed my lips softly. Your smile reaches your eyes and when you look at me it's sincere and I see how much you care. You put your arms around me and I feel safe, I feel protected. I close my eyes...
    Wurkoutgurl Wurkoutgurl 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Basically my selectivity comes from an incident

    that happened to me when I was around 13 years old. I was in secondary school and I went though a phase where I was confused about my Gender Identity and decided to go on webcam in a dress and high heels. I only let few people know about it but as it turned out everyone knew and...
    oknyritchie oknyritchie 18-21, M Jul 2

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    I believe people come in

    and out of our lives for a reason. Each experience, good or bad is a lesson to be learnt,
    Seraphina31 Seraphina31 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 2

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    I prefer to be very selected in my life to

    reduce pain, and only care about those wants a true friendship.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 25

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    I'm selective with who I allow into my life

    because I no longer believe in relating to people on a superficial level. I've found with many that as soon as I start talking about anything spiritually-related, they tend to get this blank look on their face and sort of shut down. I'm required to interact with others just as...
    Mariposa85 Mariposa85 26-30, F 2 Responses May 23

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    Je Ne Regrette Rien

    Nobody has ever hurt me, not that i can recall. No one ever really made me feel betrayed either. I have never had my heart broken, how could I...I have never felt love, they way I would expect too...yet it seems that My ENTIRE family loves me. I have one younger sister, and...
    Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M 7 Responses Mar 16, 2012

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    Yup, with a fine toothed comb.

    I realize all people want to do is hurt me. Story of my life. Everyone but my mom. I'll give her, her props! I guess that's why I stick to reading books, and watch movies. Fake people is better than real people( In a sense)
    GarnetRoses GarnetRoses 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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    Its like this. when you stick your hand out

    and get bitten. you learn very quickly not to stick your hand out anymore. I've been "bitten" so many times by people who are supposed to love me. I pretty much decided not to let any one near me any more. i'm so skeptical of people when they are nice to me I automatically think...
    sweetpea6200 sweetpea6200 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 21

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    Over the past 49 years i have suffered with

    bowl incontinence. I know its not a subject that every one wants to talk about or even listen to but over the years i have trusted some people with my secret and on every occasion i have been betrayed and they have told others. Now i tell no one only if they need to know like my...
    jvcs jvcs 51-55, M 7 Responses Jan 2

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    Online at least I can be a bit chatty,

    but even online I don't let people close easily. I'm trying to keep previous damage in the past, but I'm still quite cautious. Hopefully in time I will find trusting a little easier. That's not to say I never let people close. I just have to feel sure they're really decent, then...
    sometimeslonelytoo sometimeslonelytoo 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 16

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    I hate opening up to people

    and getting close to them and then they just leave.... Painful is what it is...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 25

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    I've had people use me my whole life,

    in some way or another. After time and time again of the same old crap, I just decided to stop letting people know me. Though there has been one time where I opened up again and was of course used and betrayed, after which I decided I would never open up to anyone else again...
    Iamalpha Iamalpha 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    I am sure lots of people can relate to this

    but I grew up in an emotionally abusive environment. My parents fought every single bloody day, screaming at each other, screaming at me and for the longest time I thought that was "normal" and that was what "love" and "marriage" was all about. For every 1 day we were happy or...
    thiswatermelonlovesme thiswatermelonlovesme 22-25, F 7 Responses Jul 2

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    I don't trust easily.

    So when I tell you that ''I Trust You'', Please Don't Make Me Regret It.
    SecretiveLady SecretiveLady 18-21, F Jun 18

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    yes i am selective about it.

    ...its difficult for me to trust strangers and i am choosy about friends!
    happyhuman1 happyhuman1 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 14

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    Every time I let someone get close to me

    which rarely happens they always end up disappointing me. Now I'm done letting people get close to me. I'm going to push everyone out now .Cus now I'm DONE!!! IM DONE LETTING PEOPLE GET CLOSE TO ME!!!! IM JUST DONE!!!!!
    cristina44 cristina44 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 30

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    narutobuddy narutobuddy 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    Choices

    I've been thinking about this group since I joined it.  It felt like any story I wrote would simply be repeating something I've already said, probably more than once. I am trying to be much more selective about the people I get close to.  I do have trust issues. ...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 21 Responses Nov 3, 2009

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    Self-proclaimed loner?

    People generally don't like me..  It might be my presence ( I'm not the big, but two heads taller than most women of my age.. and they are all pretty skinny ), the look in my eyes, my strong will, the fact that I'm a smart-alec or that I'm not full blooded caucasian. So when...
    PinkBunnyProject PinkBunnyProject 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2007

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    Wayward Stepped Right In.

    Shhhhhh, he reminds me. The world stills. My heart slowly hums. My blood finds its rhythm. My soul succumbs. The silence widens. Calming. Bends. We are just ripples in our own reflection. A paradox of echoing perfection. Footfalls, under moon lit sprawls. Casting down velvet...
    SilentBluemoon SilentBluemoon 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2013

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    So true, I get easily attached to people

    and it's hard to let them go when they wanna leave that's why I try not to get involved with people. Never works though, I'm a social butterfly :)
    hitthelightsnow hitthelightsnow 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 8

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    I am not one to spill my whole life story out

    the moment we meet. I get nervous when I meet others who do. I am not putting them down. I just don't understand it ,is all. I am not what you call a trusting soul, but once you have my loyalty it takes a lot to loose it.
    Myfairlady1 Myfairlady1 46-50, F 11 Responses May 16

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    people just aren't there

    for you like they say they'll be. so I kinda just closed myself off from people these past 2 or 3 years.
    SailorGoon SailorGoon 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 14

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    It's true. I've been hurt a lot.

    I'm afraid if I let someone get too close they'll eventually leave.
    Kayleer18 Kayleer18 18-21, F Feb 8

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    I am selective because I think it is important

    to make sure that there is a mutual compatibility rapport with one another. I think when one releases their inner most thoughts and feelings having that trust there is crucial. It hurts very badly to be used, betrayed, or a victim of unrequited feelings. Laying oneself bare for...
    Olivia2014 Olivia2014 31-35, F 10 Responses Jul 9

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    I'm not even close to my own parents.

    I only have 2 or 3 friends who know the real me and I can trust with anything. I've just been hurt by too many people. Friends and family both included.
    BeYou321 BeYou321 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 7

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    Relationships

    I was hurt but the first girl I truly liked when I was 18 and since then I haven't been able to let anyone get close and all my relationships have ended up just being one night stands. Sometime I hate myself for doing it but I don't want to be hurt again; anyone have any ideas...
    JensonC JensonC 22-25, M 10 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    Benefits of dating me: 1.

    You're the sane one
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    She Just Snuck Up On Me

    Like a new lust...she s l o w l y started out...smooth and silky, with ever so a subtle hint of sour cherry followed with a sophisticated spicy berry-esque draw...her effusive and fascinating bouquet drifted so quietly, wrapping herself completely around me...overwhelming my very...
    Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M 3 Responses Apr 24, 2012

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    Wanna Get Close?

    I am not too sure how it started, but my whole life, I have had a hard time letting people get close to me. If you were to meet me, you wouldn’t think so, I can talk to anyone about anything. I guess that is the difference of being personable and secretive. I find it hard to...
    Joneedslove Joneedslove 26-30, F 14 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    I came to EP to be honest,

    and yet I still hide. I believe it's because I don't have much trust. Or is it my insecurities? I've never been with a genuinely perfect person, I've only seen the darker sides of people. The people I grew up with define the person I am today. They hurt my heart, and now I live...
    Destinyyy Destinyyy 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    ob1knob1 ob1knob1 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 12

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