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I Am Very Selective When It Comes to Letting People Get Close

For anybody who has a hard time -really- opening up to people, because of past relationships or experiences.. 26,662 People

    Among the millions of people around,

    you and I came to be connected. Already selected? It took daring steps, one by one, allowing us to reach out, and speak from the heart. Willingly opening up to the chance to discover, give love and receive love. I'm happy to have shared abundant closeness, and know: it was a...
    jenga1 jenga1 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Small Circle

    Even on here, I am very selective in letting people get close. I don't trust easily and even if you make it through my selection rounds, I still need some time before I can really start opening up. Apparently, I can see right through some people and make good decissions whether...
    kimmy159 kimmy159 22-25, F 5 Responses May 24, 2013

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    I have such a hard time letting my walls down.

    Also the fact that i was in a seven yr relationship that just recently ended doesn't help. But I just can't trust people at all. I feel like one day they'll be gone, so I just don't allow them. I dont wanna hurt anymore...
    Fantasy646 Fantasy646 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 30

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    Sometimes I want a bf

    or gf but then I don't wanna put the effort. Yeah it's cute but then I get tired of the same thing everyday. I need an exciting relationship!! And I don't mean sexually. Lol I need them to be full of endless ideas and we can talk and talk and nothing would get awkward. And just...
    donutouchme16 donutouchme16 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 16

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    This post is for ep member 3

    and those I may have hurt unwillingly.If YOU DON'T FORGET AND FORGIVE ,IT WILL BECOME A BIGGER PROBLEM FOR YOU.Good to forgive ;Best ,to forget .Browning.You can forgive others and forget their misdeeds but it is harder to forgive yourself.
    mona87 mona87 46-50, F 5 Responses Apr 11

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    I is hard to trust humanity.

    are there any good people left?
    tacomasr5 tacomasr5 51-55, M 6 Responses Apr 8

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    I've learned that even the people

    who swear they never will, will eventually screw you over. People claim to be real when they are fake. And I cannot stand fake people. It takes a lot for me to trust these days simply because almost everyone I ever thought I could trust has done me wrong in some way or another...
    maegan91 maegan91 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    Choices

    I've been thinking about this group since I joined it.  It felt like any story I wrote would simply be repeating something I've already said, probably more than once. I am trying to be much more selective about the people I get close to.  I do have trust issues. ...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 21 Responses Nov 3, 2009

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    The best way to avoid disappointment is to not

    expect anything from anyone.
    innerfeeling innerfeeling 31-35, F 4 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    People...

    I assume that everyone at some point is going to hurt me in a really bad way. I never really had friends and after high school, I just kinda stopped talking to everyone. I'm 20 now. I don't have friends. I have people that I'll hang out with every once in a while but they're far...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 1, 2012

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    Its like this. when you stick your hand out

    and get bitten. you learn very quickly not to stick your hand out anymore. I've been "bitten" so many times by people who are supposed to love me. I pretty much decided not to let any one near me any more. i'm so skeptical of people when they are nice to me I automatically think...
    sweetpea6200 sweetpea6200 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 21

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    Never let people get too close.

    Expecially if you have kids. My kids are my world. I would want to die if I ever did anything to hurt them :'(. I never want them to be ashamed of me. I want them to be proud of me.
    chastewhisperer chastewhisperer 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    This is a strange little place,

    isn't it? Looking at some of the activities of those who send you messages here makes you wonder why they think you'll let them into your world.
    Veritie Veritie 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 5

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    I hate my boyfriend,

    and love him at the same time. We've been together for a short amount of time... But I think I love him. He can be so sweet... And an *******.. But I guess that's everyone in a nutshell...he practically took me in when it had no where else to go. I wish he'd have more faith me...
    purplerose113 purplerose113 18-21, F Mar 11

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    i will do anything for my friends

    and because of that I expect to much from them when i need it. When the time come, they do nothing. I dont want feel this way
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 11

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    But Then Again ...

    I was flipping through my groups and saw this and thought, why did I ever join this group? The fact is, I'm probably not THAT selective in letting people get close. I guess I just take queues from whoever I'm conversing with at the time and I only get as personal or revealing...
    privatelyanonymous privatelyanonymous 36-40, M 7 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    Value....

    "A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile." -- Sushan R Sharma
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    Trust is so hard When you have been exposed to

    violence as a child and then become a part of an abusive relationship as an adult, you just can't trust anyone anymore. I have put back together my life, complete with the white picket fence, but I still have issues with trusting people. I am always expecting that they will...
    idgafs idgafs 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    She Just Snuck Up On Me

    Like a new lust...she s l o w l y started out...smooth and silky, with ever so a subtle hint of sour cherry followed with a sophisticated spicy berry-esque draw...her effusive and fascinating bouquet drifted so quietly, wrapping herself completely around me...overwhelming my very...
    Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M 5 Responses Apr 24, 2012

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    Room For Change...

    I have been a pretty guarded person for a while, things have happened in my life that make it difficult for me to truly let people get close. Someone has to have something special for me to let them in. I don't like this trait about myself much, that I am so overly guarded about...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    I dont trust anyone, it takes time to get be

    trusted. I also am selective of who i choose to talk to ! I dont like talking to just anyone and sharing information. I dont trust a lot of people. Yupp thats about it.
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 21

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    aldrincr aldrincr 18-21, M Feb 26

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    Self-proclaimed loner?

    People generally don't like me..  It might be my presence ( I'm not the big, but two heads taller than most women of my age.. and they are all pretty skinny ), the look in my eyes, my strong will, the fact that I'm a smart-alec or that I'm not full blooded caucasian. So when...
    PinkBunnyProject PinkBunnyProject 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2007

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    TallMissDreamer TallMissDreamer 18-21, F Mar 1

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    Je Ne Regrette Rien

    Nobody has ever hurt me, not that i can recall. No one ever really made me feel betrayed either. I have never had my heart broken, how could I...I have never felt love, they way I would expect too...yet it seems that My ENTIRE family loves me. I have one younger sister, and...
    Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M 7 Responses Mar 16, 2012

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    It can take me a long time to feel I can trust

    people. I don't usually rush into situations where feelings are involved. So, some people lose interest before I've had enough time to think about it. If you've had the patience and understanding to stay with me - you're a special person.
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 28

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    I can always tell when I'm being lied to.

    Those who attempt to lie, cheat, or harm me in any way learn very quickly that I am the wrong person to mess with. When I was younger, I learned the hard way that you cannot put yourself into this world without some type of defense. I do not trust very many people in this...
    SparrowSearch111 SparrowSearch111 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    I always try to be open

    and honest, be the person I would like to be seen as. It can be difficult sometimes and I have opened myself up to a lot of untrustworthy, nasty people over the years. Gradually my walls have gone up and I find it less easy to know who I want to trust with aspects of my life...
    Bellastasia Bellastasia 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 5

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    I have a hard time just allowing people into my

    life. It hinders me sometimes. Mostly in matters of my heart. One time I waited to long to let someone know how I felt and I lost him as my friend. It still hurts my heart I'm so guarded. :(
    Jerseygirl72 Jerseygirl72 41-45 1 Response Mar 16

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    Getting close - I was insecure to

    where I looked down on myself so much that I was careless who knew what about me. I would go to large lengths to help a person even if I had only just became acquainted with them. In short, I was too nice and got hurt several time by numerous people. Now I am a bit more...
    PartyCrazyGenius PartyCrazyGenius 18-21, M Mar 2

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    Wanna Get Close?

    I am not too sure how it started, but my whole life, I have had a hard time letting people get close to me. If you were to meet me, you wouldn’t think so, I can talk to anyone about anything. I guess that is the difference of being personable and secretive. I find it hard to...
    Joneedslove Joneedslove 26-30, F 15 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Because of things like my crossdressing

    and general social awkwardness and moving a lot (not sure how related they are honestly) I have a hard time with letting people in close. Like, I love the idea of having friends, and have people I will talk to a lot, but I always feel like I'm deceiving them because of hiding...
    tiffanyjoxd1989 tiffanyjoxd1989 22-25, T 4 Responses Mar 7

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    I'm afraid of being the person

    who betrays people when I gain their trust. But I'm also afraid of being betrayed. The result is that I know more of my friend's secrets. They know almost none of mine. I feel guilty about it, but I'm just never comfortable.
    Septisoul Septisoul 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I don't really let a lot of people truly get

    close to me. My parents know that I have some mental problems and we have talked about it but that's it. I never tell them the whole picture. I never tell anyone.
    BeefStromi BeefStromi 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 16

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    Wayward Stepped Right In.

    Shhhhhh, he reminds me. The world stills. My heart slowly hums. My blood finds its rhythm. My soul succumbs. The silence widens. Calming. Bends. We are just ripples in our own reflection. A paradox of echoing perfection. Footfalls, under moon lit sprawls. Casting down velvet...
    SilentBluemoon SilentBluemoon 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 29, 2013

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    I've been this way since I was a child.

    People gravitate towards me because i'm easy going and easy to talk too. I've ended up with friendships that have been very draining, where I was being sucked dry by emotional vampires. So now I really am aware of needy people and I shut it down if I feel they are getting to...
    Howyahorse Howyahorse 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 23

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    Only Very Few.

    Part of the reason I am so selective is because I HAVE been hurt in the past by people I thought I could trust, and they backstabbed or betrayed me badly, but more because I can't tell people about the real me, and so I have never fit in with anyone, and never really got close to...
    LombaxGirl LombaxGirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    Read This Before Adding Me As A Friend

    Hello EPers, it has come to my attention that you seem to like to add people randomly to your circle. And while it may be because you have read my profile and have completely and utterly fallen in love with me, or because you just like a high number of friends on here... Please...
    styleu styleu 26-30, F 10 Responses May 17, 2013

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    People don't seem to understand

    that I'm not doing it to be mean or rude. I'm doing it to protect myself.
    lachee lachee 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    Relationships

    I was hurt but the first girl I truly liked when I was 18 and since then I haven't been able to let anyone get close and all my relationships have ended up just being one night stands. Sometime I hate myself for doing it but I don't want to be hurt again; anyone have any ideas...
    JensonC JensonC 22-25, M 8 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    I have found that when you let people in,

    you give them the opportunity to hurt you. They might not mean to hurt you. Unintentional hurt is still hurt, except you can't blame them for your reaction to their actions or words. So, the dilemma is this: where do you draw the line? When is close too close? Sometimes...
    chastewhisperer chastewhisperer 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    People always seem to have alter motives.

    They are vile and nasty creatures. They lie, backstab, manipulate...I trust no one including myself cause I am my own worst enemy.
    Tammygirl4 Tammygirl4 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 1

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    My time on EP has been a great one,

    meeting so many wonderful people and making some lasting friendships. Am going to be writing more as I have some personal decisions to make about relationships and I don't want to cause people pain. I will be chatting at times but just need some time away to think, will be on...
    romanticdreams romanticdreams 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 26

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    It's everything or nothing beyond my basic

    everyday setting of 'Don't much mind you/What did you say your name was again?' Close leads to Everything; which tends to end up better for you, than for me. I'm not handing out many 'Access all Areas' passes these days. You have to have one hell of a lot about you to get one...
    Brangwen Brangwen 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    I am usually very cautious about

    who I let into my life. I won't bore you with the back story, but I do not trust easily. It takes time for me to feel a level of friendship or intimacy. Every time I think I've moved past this, I'm proven wrong by the people I've chosen to let in. I always swear it will never...
    smhinterrupted smhinterrupted 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 15

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    There are only two people in my life

    that know me very well - and even they don't know *everything* about me. I guess it's safe to say I do not trust very easily, but I do find myself 'connecting' with people pretty fast. That doesn't mean I'll let them into my life completely. I've just had to learn to watch out...
    HappyandSad20 HappyandSad20 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 11

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    Sometimes I look at the amount of people in

    this group and wonder if they are all really being sincere when they join this group. Have they all been hurt? Have they maybe hurt others without knowing it themselves? Sometimes I wonder that about me. I'm always worried about offending someone without meaning too, or stepping...
    Septisoul Septisoul 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    So don't bother trying,

    you'll likely fail.
    TheBloodyScourge TheBloodyScourge 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I used to be a rather trusting person

    but as of recently I've discovered that some people really aren't your true friends no matter what they say. I would say that currently I only have 2 people in my life that I would tell anything to and they are my sister and my best friend of 9 years. I do have other friends...
    twiggy93 twiggy93 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    It's true. I've been hurt a lot.

    I'm afraid if I let someone get too close they'll eventually leave.
    Kayleer18 Kayleer18 18-21, F Feb 8

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    Selective To My Detriment?

    I tend to be very selective when it comes to who I let close to me in a very real way. I am very open about myself, but it takes a long time to understand me, what I have accomplished, been through, learned, etc. I often find people who have such preconceptions of who I am, based...
    SailN SailN 46-50, M 3 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    I've been hurt one too many times by people

    who claimed they wouldn't hurt me. I don't trust very easily and have yet to find someone with genuine intentions I can depend on.
    goldengirl24 goldengirl24 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 2

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    Two Way Street

    People have walked into my life, and have walked out of my life. Some I thought were here to stay. I was wrong. After so many times of being walked away from, you start to put a guard up. These were people that I loved, would never do anything to hurt them, and they still go...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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    Glimpse Of What Might Be

    You touched my cheek and twisted my hair around your finger. You held my hand and kissed my lips softly. Your smile reaches your eyes and when you look at me it's sincere and I see how much you care. You put your arms around me and I feel safe, I feel protected. I close my eyes...
    Wurkoutgurl Wurkoutgurl 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    some peolpe just want you

    when they need it. I have benn there before but because of my personality I can't never do that to a person. I put someone else feelings before me.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I Don't really trust a lot of people,

    and if I do it takes me awhile to really trust them.
    melanie17 melanie17 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 16

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    Don't Throw Your Pearls Before Swine

    Several months after my puppy dog Grace had been weaned, my children and I took her back so I could speak with the breeder and to visit her mother Sweet Pea. My dog was so excited to see her mother. She jumped all over her and licked her and did whatever she could to get her...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012