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I Am Very Selective When It Comes to Letting People Get Close

For anybody who has a hard time -really- opening up to people, because of past relationships or experiences.. 29,171 People

    So it is painful when the two people

    who I have wanted to let in for years still don't want a relationship with me. I began not getting along with my parents in my teenage years (no surprise), but it didn't turn out to be a phase. I began realizing that my parents and I didn't have a very close relationship since I...
    Emsily Emsily 18-21, F Mar 11

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    Self-proclaimed loner?

    People generally don't like me..  It might be my presence ( I'm not the big, but two heads taller than most women of my age.. and they are all pretty skinny ), the look in my eyes, my strong will, the fact that I'm a smart-alec or that I'm not full blooded caucasian. So when...
    PinkBunnyProject PinkBunnyProject 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2007

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    Saras905 Saras905 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 5

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    Its like this. when you stick your hand out

    and get bitten. you learn very quickly not to stick your hand out anymore. I've been "bitten" so many times by people who are supposed to love me. I pretty much decided not to let any one near me any more. i'm so skeptical of people when they are nice to me I automatically think...
    sweetpea6200 sweetpea6200 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 21, 2014

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    I've been hurt a lot over the past few years

    so I've kind of closed myself off, But at the same time I've learned to read people according to their actions and I have to say that I'm pretty good at it. Because I've learned to read people, I've become really picky at who I let get close. You can count the people I trust...
    saeteurn saeteurn 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 28

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    Maybe it's because of

    where I am in my life, but right now I only seem to be able to make emotional space for people younger, more vulnerable, less worldly-wise than me. Though I often have to question whether my worldly wisdom really makes much difference in the grand scheme of things, or even...
    SlightlyDaft SlightlyDaft 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 4

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    So ya the title of this post says it all.

    Umm the reasons for are because I have been hurt and betrayed by lots of people in my life. Because of these things I don't just let anybody in and close to me, you have to earn my trust. You hurt me and I get rid of our friendship. Now I know that that can be the wrong way to...
    LittleMissCanada LittleMissCanada 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 5

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    I'm gonna be real if I don't think we have

    anything in common or i think we just won't work I'll tell you straight up .
    Princeofnothing Princeofnothing 18-21, M 5 Responses Jan 22

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    People...

    I assume that everyone at some point is going to hurt me in a really bad way. I never really had friends and after high school, I just kinda stopped talking to everyone. I'm 20 now. I don't have friends. I have people that I'll hang out with every once in a while but they're far...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 1, 2012

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    I wonder if 'getting it' has to do with a

    common thread of understanding between two individuals? Sometimes people share the same woes which creates a natural bond. While other times, although they are compatible, there are things that people often can't fathom. People are often so quick to cast their opinions about...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 1

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    I'm selective with who I allow into my life

    because I no longer believe in relating to people on a superficial level. I've found with many that as soon as I start talking about anything spiritually-related, they tend to get this blank look on their face and sort of shut down. I'm required to interact with others just as...
    AKLady15 AKLady15 26-30, F 2 Responses May 23, 2014

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    It probably would be nice to have a lot of

    people in my life but I've realized that you can't allow just anyone in your life without really getting to know them. A person may have some serious issues going on that can bring harm to you. You must know their character, background.. all that matters when I make a decision...
    SentimentalMood SentimentalMood 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2014

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    Ive been thru lots of hurt

    so its hard letting others in. I have to know you for a long time before I can trust you enough to let you get close to me as a friend.
    zzz1silentheart zzz1silentheart 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    I have pushed a lot of potential friends away.

    My reason is because of lack of trust. I have a hard time letting people get too close to me. Betrayal is a big thing, and it hurts when one day you have a best friend and the next they won't pick up to talk with you. and you're left wondering, what did I do wrong. Takes too...
    SentimentalMood SentimentalMood 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 20

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    I am usually very cautious about

    who I let into my life. I won't bore you with the back story, but I do not trust easily. It takes time for me to feel a level of friendship or intimacy. Every time I think I've moved past this, I'm proven wrong by the people I've chosen to let in. I always swear it will never...
    JARSMS JARSMS 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Follow up from earlier today; Lunch was

    wonderful with my foster mom. it wasn't awkward though, I did cry when she drove away. But I didn't let her see. As angry as I still may be with her its hard to see her go. I still love her. I mean, she raised me. She called me Babygirl when we were saying goodbye and I think...
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    After my husband passed

    and everyone went away, only the true friends were left. I'm pretty content with the group of friends I have and am shy to bring new people close.
    mommyraquel mommyraquel 31-35 1 Response Feb 25

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    XXimdeadinsideXX XXimdeadinsideXX 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I hate opening up to people

    and getting close to them and then they just leave.... Painful is what it is...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 25, 2014

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    I have to have some kind of connection with you

    before I let anyone in. Trust is very important to me.
    whyisitsohard44 whyisitsohard44 41-45, F 14 Responses May 19, 2014

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    Wanna Get Close?

    I am not too sure how it started, but my whole life, I have had a hard time letting people get close to me. If you were to meet me, you wouldn’t think so, I can talk to anyone about anything. I guess that is the difference of being personable and secretive. I find it hard to...
    Joneedslove Joneedslove 26-30, F 11 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Relationships

    I was hurt but the first girl I truly liked when I was 18 and since then I haven't been able to let anyone get close and all my relationships have ended up just being one night stands. Sometime I hate myself for doing it but I don't want to be hurt again; anyone have any ideas...
    JensonC JensonC 22-25, M 11 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    Glimpse Of What Might Be

    You touched my cheek and twisted my hair around your finger. You held my hand and kissed my lips softly. Your smile reaches your eyes and when you look at me it's sincere and I see how much you care. You put your arms around me and I feel safe, I feel protected. I close my eyes...
    Wurkoutgurl Wurkoutgurl 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Different people awaken different beasts in you.

    . These beasts destroyed different walls of yours.. But beasts know no boundaries.. The destruction didn't stop at the walls.. The damages are on you too.. So new walls are built.. I have regrets in my walls, they entered through the front gate.. Sauntered on the red carpet...
    FaitAccomp1i FaitAccomp1i 70+, M 7 Responses Feb 12

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    Value....

    "A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile." -- Sushan R Sharma
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    I believe people come in

    and out of our lives for a reason. Each experience, good or bad is a lesson to be learnt,
    Seraphina31 Seraphina31 31-35, F 7 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    You do not protect your heart by keeping it

    closed, but by learning which people you let get close ~ Unknown~
    orchidangel orchidangel 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 7

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    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 21 Responses Apr 4

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    I don't trust easily.

    So when I tell you that ''I Trust You'', Please Don't Make Me Regret It.
    SecretiveLady SecretiveLady 18-21, F Jun 18, 2014

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    I would say I have not always been like this.

    . It is just that no one really wants to get to know me. I swear I tried being open and not judge, but it just ends with the problem. No really cares about me because I'm to out there. So.. being quiet is the best thing for me to do. Because I can save the trouble...
    jellyrolls34 jellyrolls34 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    To get close to someone,

    they must have thing in common with me, share similar goals and ideas, and set off a good aura. Uk, just that right kinda vibe
    ForeverJashinist ForeverJashinist 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 4

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    My heart Is a many faceted substance.

    While it slumbers, dark watchmen hold vigil. Their shields are stout, their manner fiercely protective.It becomes pliant and awakens scarcely. When it does, it feasts in a riot of delight and wonder at what it sees. It feels with such intensity, fervor and ferocity that it is...
    SwanSongRebeL SwanSongRebeL 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    Don't Throw Your Pearls Before Swine

    Several months after my puppy dog Grace had been weaned, my children and I took her back so I could speak with the breeder and to visit her mother Sweet Pea. My dog was so excited to see her mother. She jumped all over her and licked her and did whatever she could to get her...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 7 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    I dont let many get close to me.

    .. Not because im snobbish or antisocial... Im just very guarded... Ive been hurt much in my life and i put up walls to protect that from happening... I used to be scared of letting people close not only to protect me but i was scared of what they would see.... The abuse... The...
    sunpea sunpea 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Je Ne Regrette Rien

    Nobody has ever hurt me, not that i can recall. No one ever really made me feel betrayed either. I have never had my heart broken, how could I...I have never felt love, they way I would expect too...yet it seems that My ENTIRE family loves me. I have one younger sister, and...
    Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M 7 Responses Mar 16, 2012

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    I met a girl a couple months ago

    and instantly I was crushing on her. She didn't have many friends and I wanted to make her feel comfortable around my friends and myself so that she would spend more time with me. I went out of my way to let her know that I cared about her and she took advantage of it. I've...
    RHpendragon RHpendragon 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 21

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    it took me two years to find someone I'd let

    get close and the day before valentine's, she completely disappeared and now I don't know what to do. I want to chase after her but I don't know if it's the smart thing to do.
    Joeyschnepel Joeyschnepel 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 16

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    I have always had a hard time trusting

    that the people I "let in" truly have the intention of staying. As a consequence I tend to show them the exit before they have a chance to find it for themselves. When I think back I know that I've shut out a lot of good people and I do carry regret for any hurt it caused them...
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 7

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    So I am writing this

    because I have tried over and over to write about myself . I just keep a lot private . I only have a few people I truly let in. I admire everybody here who can let go & express what they feel . Me on the other hand ; I always feel as I should write more ; but my own deep truths...
    LavenderTeal23 LavenderTeal23 31-35, F 3 Responses May 14, 2014

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    When you go on a date with your ex,

    not thinking anything of it and then he says this (picture above) and talks about how he wants you back but you honestly don't know if you want to. If you know me and his past you would understand why I'm so hesitant. Short story everyone on earth hated me for dating him...
    Wynnieskye Wynnieskye 16-17, F Jan 31

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    Many people have used me

    or abused our friendship. So now I have very low trust, so people who want to pm me on ep; I won't be quick to reply or may not trust you at all at first. It's not your fault it's just me.
    shur09 shur09 13-15, F 4 Responses Jan 7

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    Why so serious? Some people may think I am snob

    and serious person. Sometimes I am, sometimes I am just shy or tired. I might accelerate to extreme seriousness if needed. It's a useful thing at keeping unnecessary people away.
    JD0121 JD0121 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    i might be an open book

    and tell u all the past events in my life, as well as planned events. but that doesnt mean ive let u in. im very selective with who i let in on an emotional level. im like that with everyone.
    SadisticPsychoBitch SadisticPsychoBitch 31-35, F 6 Responses May 14, 2014

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    Trying to be, anyway.

    A lot of people want to get close to me on the basis of being able to rely on me for anything and everything, at any given time, and it doesn't work.
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    It is extremely difficult

    for me to open up to someone, and is quite rare that I ever really do. I am usually a very naturally trusting person, perhaps a bit naive, always giving the benefit of doubt, but at the same time I am selective of who I let in simply because I tend to over think about things and...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 15 Responses Mar 5

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    I recently got out of an abusive relationship

    and I have trust issues to begin with. Unfortunately, the relationship made them worse. I'm not interested in a relationship and it may be awhile. I want to trust people, and I know not everyone is the same, but I don't know how to let my guard down.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jan 2

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