Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Amuse Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 370 People

    Thinking It Works A Little Too Well....

    An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance," says Mrs.. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Funny to Me Thats All That Matters

    I amuse my self alot. Random thoughts can make me laugh but come on thats most people so i dont like when people stare at me for laughing. I think that if you dont amuse yourself then life would be boring and ur just weird.
    InnerVoices InnerVoices 16-17, M 3 Responses Mar 2, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's One of the Reasons I'm Here

    sometimes I can be rather entertaining. I'm witty, mildly talented as a triple threat (sing, dance, act). I have fun with myself - it's a good thing.
    RavenLee RavenLee 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 2, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If I was an orangatan,

    I would put on a face like this all the time. :D
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Got Chya Talking...

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Viewer Discretion Is Advised...

    There was this newly wed couple that was just married and the bride was home naked waiting for her husband to get home. Well, the mother-in-law decided to stop by and seen the young bride naked and asked what she was doing. And she said: "This is my love dress." The young girl...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ohhh... Our Daughters...

    Three blonds talking: "I found cigarettes in my daughters purse. I think she has become a smoker." "I found cocaine in my daughters purse. I think she has become a junkie." "I found condoms in my daughters purse... Oh my God! I think she has become a man!!!"
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 26, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My A$$

    A 50-year-old lady is standing in front of a mirror, looking at herself. Her husband walks in and says: "What are you doing?" She says: "My doctor told me I had the breast of a 20-year-old. He said: "Well, what did he say about your 50-year-old butt?" "Well, he didn't ask about...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    O Hai

    I'm glad I'm not the only one. I personally think I am extremely funny, though I haven't met many people who agree. heh The people I do make laugh though make it all worth it...but even more than that, I make myself laugh EVERY day and I am not diagnosed as insane so I'm...
    soulshadow soulshadow 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well...would Ya?

    A man and his wife are driving home from a friends funeral, contemplating their own mortality. After a few minutes the woman asks her husband, "if I died would you remarry?" Knowing that no matter what, his answer will be wrong, he tells her that, "because we have three small...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm a funny ****** or at least I think so.

    I'm always cracking myself up. Have you ever told someone there going to take it in the *** with a zucchini? Well I have and I find it amusing. Earlier today at the store this lady said some guy told her woman all have big boob and an attitude. She said she got screwed. I told...
    holehearted79 holehearted79 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Don't Know If I Amuse Myself More...

    I don't know if I amuse myself more than other people do but i do know that I find more things amusing than most people do... I see something and it cracks me up and other people around me don't see the humor in it... it could something small like a pen laying oddly that looks...
    phidget phidget 31-35, F 1 Response May 12, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sure Do!

    i am the most ridiculous person i know. so incredibly proud of the fact that i'm finally able to laugh at myself. i find humor in just about everything i do.it helps that i'm slight clumsy and say crazy things allll the time. it's my weapon. (even when no one else is laughing...
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 5, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Amusing Myself ...

    I have to admit i probably amuse myself more than anyone else can amuse me lol. Sometimes i write stupid comments to peoples abusive words with a kiss and such kindness that they don't know what to say or do about it ... maybe it frustrates them a tad more but i am here giggling...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Do I Look Like???

    A woman was nagging her husband that he needs to cut the grass, the husband answer was: "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again: "Honey, can you fix the faucet? The husband replied: "What do I look like to you? A Plumber...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 13, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes Just By Not Being Amused.

    All this silliness around here and the things that I could waste a breath with amusement.  Instead, I look in the mirror and think an intangible sneer, and then I feel better.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 14, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Amusing to Me

    People say that I have a strange personality because of the fact that I can easily amuse myself.  I don't really see a problem in that at all.  Here's how I see it, if you can't amuse yourself how in the world can you amuse anyone else?  I'm the type of person who...
    dragon143 dragon143 18-21, F Jan 8, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All the Time....

    All the time over the stupidest things. I will just burst out laughing and if someone is in the room that I didn't remember being there they just look at me like I'm mad... entertaining me even more!
    GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Minute Clinic

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Is Just Really Cute!!!

    Never know what an old guy will say. I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes [he's 66]. We decided to get a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in different colors-green, red...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Untilted

    i laugh sometimes when know one else is...ill think of something inside of my head and it will be really funny...ill laugh for ever about it. but i cant tell anyone else about it because they dont find it to funny! not like i do!
    noodlehead noodlehead 16-17, F Dec 11, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Amuse Me

    I'm more of a serious girl.  At times, I also can be funny.  I will say something and I will laugh at my own joke so to speak. haha.
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Realtors And Speeding Tickets...

    A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?" The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    School Vacation Week...

    Okay...so they call it vacation week...let's be realistic here...just because there is no school...doesn't mean there's a vacation time for parents. I have found that everything in my current world is taking 45 minutes to an hour longer than it should. If I have to be at work by...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 23, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oh Ya...that...

    A blonde just totaled her car in a horrific accident. The cop asks her: "What happened?" "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" replies the blonde. "I was driving down the road when all of a sudden this tree pops out of nowhere. So I swerved to the left and out pops another tree...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Mar 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oh Boy...

    A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says: "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says: "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies: "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Know ...

    I know it sounds conceited but I've never met anyone who can make me laugh harder than I make myself laugh. Sometimes I'm the only one who gets my jokes but I find them hilarious!!!
    missing missing 18-21, F 2 Responses May 11, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    today I took myself and my son to alton towers amusement park near me in the UK and we had a great time
    bigbabymark bigbabymark 41-45, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    As I take a break from work and go from profile to profile readying stories and experiences I am amused and shocked at what people do and experience. I am learning very quickly...
    wesleyjones wesleyjones 31-35, M 1 Response May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Apparently, you can't say (and I'm gonna be careful to use asterisks here) c***sucking when referring to the institution that is the British Monarchy. I just found that out which...
    LuxThePoet LuxThePoet 41-45, F 3 Responses May 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm easily amused by little things like little tiny dust that caused me eye pain.. 😜😛
    PipayR PipayR 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Somewhere in the middle of England about nine o'clock this morning... My Doggy Friend has appropriated my dog, Fred. And with justifiable reason. He has a Border Terrier (Brian...
    LuxThePoet LuxThePoet 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i cry myself to sleep because all the pain i suffer each day. i wont let people see me when im sad or angry or anything that they would upset them. they don't need to suffer or...
    kat29emo kat29emo 18-21, F 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I´m just starting to learn to lose myself...and he, he is just learning to find myself...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    For the longest time, I thought I was at a stalemate with myself. No vehicle, no job, no home. I've achieved nothing since high school, how pitiful. I recently chronicled the abuse...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 5 Responses 12 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Sorry this is a bit long.. But I'm writing everything on my mind for once and all... <3 You might wonder.. Why does this girl always post sad posts? Always complaining. This is...
    Rourou19 Rourou19 18-21, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hmmmmm I want to cut myself I want to cut **** Life on my arm to remind myself how much my life doesn't matter and how nobody cares about me!!!!!
    kRaZeDmODDeR kRaZeDmODDeR 13-15, M 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Yes...I am touching myself to the thought of you and it feels so effin' good. Mmmmmm If only...
    Angelxxox Angelxxox 18-21, F 40 Responses 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    sometimes i'm just overflowing with thoughts and feelings. and there's always that worry that absolutely nothing i say makes any sense. there's so much inside my head and i never...
    labyrinths9689 labyrinths9689 13-15, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was trying to touch myself, but too many things going on right now. guess I'll just have to wait until later tonight. :-
    matatrid matatrid 31-35, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was at the pool one day swimming by myself and these two girls walked into the pool area and it became just the 3 of us and I was the only one in the water, I got out and with my...
    Badboy94 Badboy94 18-21, M 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I wish I wasn't so hard on myself but I'm afraid if I stop I won't have any motivation to move forward. It's as if I have this real of all my shortcomings and it just plays again...
    honestlyanonymouslyme honestlyanonymouslyme 22-25, F May 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm here again tonight, just when i thought i should have by now feeling more better about myself after the short escape from the hermit shell i've been self-confined in - I'm not...
    jessycarcher jessycarcher 22-25, F May 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    This became a longer story then I wanted to be, but its my story and I carry it with pride. I have always been a weirdo and I love myself for it. I am now in a point in my life...
    GuiltBear GuiltBear 31-35, M 1 Response May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel