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I Amuse Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 368 People

    O Hai

    I'm glad I'm not the only one. I personally think I am extremely funny, though I haven't met many people who agree. heh The people I do make laugh though make it all worth it...but even more than that, I make myself laugh EVERY day and I am not diagnosed as insane so I'm...
    soulshadow soulshadow 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 10, 2010

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    The Minute Clinic

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

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    Amuse Me

    I'm more of a serious girl.  At times, I also can be funny.  I will say something and I will laugh at my own joke so to speak. haha.
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2011

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    Ohhh... Our Daughters...

    Three blonds talking: "I found cigarettes in my daughters purse. I think she has become a smoker." "I found cocaine in my daughters purse. I think she has become a junkie." "I found condoms in my daughters purse... Oh my God! I think she has become a man!!!"
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 26, 2011

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    Well...would Ya?

    A man and his wife are driving home from a friends funeral, contemplating their own mortality. After a few minutes the woman asks her husband, "if I died would you remarry?" Knowing that no matter what, his answer will be wrong, he tells her that, "because we have three small...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    Viewer Discretion Is Advised...

    There was this newly wed couple that was just married and the bride was home naked waiting for her husband to get home. Well, the mother-in-law decided to stop by and seen the young bride naked and asked what she was doing. And she said: "This is my love dress." The young girl...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2011

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    Sometimes Just By Not Being Amused.

    All this silliness around here and the things that I could waste a breath with amusement.  Instead, I look in the mirror and think an intangible sneer, and then I feel better.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 14, 2009

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    Thinking It Works A Little Too Well....

    An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance," says Mrs.. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

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    Oh Ya...that...

    A blonde just totaled her car in a horrific accident. The cop asks her: "What happened?" "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" replies the blonde. "I was driving down the road when all of a sudden this tree pops out of nowhere. So I swerved to the left and out pops another tree...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Mar 3, 2011

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    Amusing Myself ...

    I have to admit i probably amuse myself more than anyone else can amuse me lol. Sometimes i write stupid comments to peoples abusive words with a kiss and such kindness that they don't know what to say or do about it ... maybe it frustrates them a tad more but i am here giggling...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 30, 2013

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    Whe You Live...

    in the country in fair seclusion...you have to learn to amuse yourself..
    txwoman2 txwoman2 36-40, F Feb 13, 2010

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    Sure Do!

    i am the most ridiculous person i know. so incredibly proud of the fact that i'm finally able to laugh at myself. i find humor in just about everything i do.it helps that i'm slight clumsy and say crazy things allll the time. it's my weapon. (even when no one else is laughing...
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 5, 2009

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    I'm a funny ****** or at least I think so.

    I'm always cracking myself up. Have you ever told someone there going to take it in the *** with a zucchini? Well I have and I find it amusing. Earlier today at the store this lady said some guy told her woman all have big boob and an attitude. She said she got screwed. I told...
    holehearted79 holehearted79 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    I Know ...

    I know it sounds conceited but I've never met anyone who can make me laugh harder than I make myself laugh. Sometimes I'm the only one who gets my jokes but I find them hilarious!!!
    missing missing 21-25, F 2 Responses May 11, 2008

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    Realtors And Speeding Tickets...

    A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?" The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

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    Funny to Me Thats All That Matters

    I amuse my self alot. Random thoughts can make me laugh but come on thats most people so i dont like when people stare at me for laughing. I think that if you dont amuse yourself then life would be boring and ur just weird.
    InnerVoices InnerVoices 16-17, M 3 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    Untilted

    i laugh sometimes when know one else is...ill think of something inside of my head and it will be really funny...ill laugh for ever about it. but i cant tell anyone else about it because they dont find it to funny! not like i do!
    noodlehead noodlehead 16-17, F Dec 11, 2008

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    My A$$

    A 50-year-old lady is standing in front of a mirror, looking at herself. Her husband walks in and says: "What are you doing?" She says: "My doctor told me I had the breast of a 20-year-old. He said: "Well, what did he say about your 50-year-old butt?" "Well, he didn't ask about...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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    What Do I Look Like???

    A woman was nagging her husband that he needs to cut the grass, the husband answer was: "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again: "Honey, can you fix the faucet? The husband replied: "What do I look like to you? A Plumber...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    Oh Boy...

    A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says: "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says: "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies: "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

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    If I was an orangatan,

    I would put on a face like this all the time. :D
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 19, 2014

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    Amusing to Me

    People say that I have a strange personality because of the fact that I can easily amuse myself.  I don't really see a problem in that at all.  Here's how I see it, if you can't amuse yourself how in the world can you amuse anyone else?  I'm the type of person who...
    dragon143 dragon143 18-21, F Jan 8, 2009

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    This Is Just Really Cute!!!

    Never know what an old guy will say. I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes [he's 66]. We decided to get a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in different colors-green, red...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

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    School Vacation Week...

    Okay...so they call it vacation week...let's be realistic here...just because there is no school...doesn't mean there's a vacation time for parents. I have found that everything in my current world is taking 45 minutes to an hour longer than it should. If I have to be at work by...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 23, 2011

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    Got Chya Talking...

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

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    I Don't Know If I Amuse Myself More...

    I don't know if I amuse myself more than other people do but i do know that I find more things amusing than most people do... I see something and it cracks me up and other people around me don't see the humor in it... it could something small like a pen laying oddly that looks...
    phidget phidget 31-35, F 1 Response May 12, 2008

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    All the Time....

    All the time over the stupidest things. I will just burst out laughing and if someone is in the room that I didn't remember being there they just look at me like I'm mad... entertaining me even more!
    GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2008

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    It's One of the Reasons I'm Here

    sometimes I can be rather entertaining. I'm witty, mildly talented as a triple threat (sing, dance, act). I have fun with myself - it's a good thing.
    RavenLee RavenLee 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 2, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    My roommate has told me a couple times recently that she wished she had my brain because I'm so easily entertained and amused by things. I laugh at things she doesn't on...
    RedHotCrazyPerson RedHotCrazyPerson 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    For the first time on EP I got a message that my story was removed because it violated community guidelines. When EP balked at posting this story, I knew exactly what was wrong. I...
    JoannaBe JoannaBe 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 20

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    I just had a memory that amuses me: I was a teenager. We had recently moved to the United States, and I had never encountered Girl Scout cookies before. My father was still at...
    JoannaBe JoannaBe 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Trusting moron. im glad i provide whatever amusement people seek. at least i can do that for them. i cannot be what i want and i dont want what i am. anger rages inside and...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer 46-50, M 3 Responses Feb 23

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    Another argument broke out amongst my sister, mother, and my mother's boyfriend about me. I can't really sleep well anymore. Everything's pinned on me. I hate being called a liar...
    AscherLukasValentine AscherLukasValentine 16-17 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    im touching myself now pm me
    Arnodf44 Arnodf44 16-17, M 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I don't know who I am. I'm still working on completing myself...
    Living2Heights Living2Heights 16-17, F 13 hrs ago

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    Today I forced myself to puke again. I was out with some friends and we were hanging out at the skate park. After a couple of hours of skating I wanted to do something else. So I...
    pukeboy pukeboy 22-25, M Feb 6

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    I tried writing this experience once but it shut down in the middle, so I'm a little frustrated but I'll try again. I was saying that I find myself doing things just for the sole...
    Shamandora Shamandora 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    I hate my life so much, I really have been compensating whether or not I should kill myself, but I can never bring myself to it, like it's just thoughts; but seriously Life's...
    Krchan2 Krchan2 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    Tomorrow is going to be tough. I'm scared. Terrified. Utterly bare with no armor. When did I lose it? Did I ever have one to begin with? How do explain myself. How do I confess...
    DeijiDaze DeijiDaze 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    Finding an inspiration that heals. Shes gone. It hurts but I will be okay. This past year has been phenomenally hard but I believe I'm exactly where I need to be. 2014 I was...
    mmn6134 mmn6134 22-25, F Feb 5

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    and NO i do not have an eating disorder. i only starve myself as a way to punish myself. because i feel so extremely fukking guilty for everything there is about me. i HATE myself...
    gurldeleted gurldeleted 41-45, F Feb 5

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    My brother and I just had an argument. He sucks at arguing because of how he drags the focus of the argument to other things. Things like me. He constantly insults me for being...
    DrowningInRed DrowningInRed 13-15, F 6 Responses Feb 13

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    I don't hate myself for the way I look anymore ... I hate myself for the person I am ... I realize how ******* awful I am to everybody!! I'm just so mean to people all the time and...
    suicidalblonde suicidalblonde 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 15

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    Is it like normal to bully myself? Idk. I tend to insult me, and think the worst of me... I guess it's because I'd rather listen to this stuff from me, instead of from someone else...
    MissPeruvian MissPeruvian 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    i hate myself i hate my body, my face,my hair i hate how i walk,how i talk i hate looking into mirror i hate how i cant talk to people like a normal person i hate that i see myself...
    yeniC yeniC 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago