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I Amuse Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 370 People

    Funny to Me Thats All That Matters

    I amuse my self alot. Random thoughts can make me laugh but come on thats most people so i dont like when people stare at me for laughing. I think that if you dont amuse yourself then life would be boring and ur just weird.
    InnerVoices InnerVoices 16-17, M 3 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    Realtors And Speeding Tickets...

    A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?" The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

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    Sometimes Just By Not Being Amused.

    All this silliness around here and the things that I could waste a breath with amusement.  Instead, I look in the mirror and think an intangible sneer, and then I feel better.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 14, 2009

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    I Just Look In the Mirror and Laugh

     That's all it takes for me to start the day on a happy note.  It helps that I'm funny, but looks aren't everything now are they?
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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    Oh Boy...

    A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says: "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says: "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies: "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 24, 2011

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    The Minute Clinic

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

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    Amusing to Me

    People say that I have a strange personality because of the fact that I can easily amuse myself.  I don't really see a problem in that at all.  Here's how I see it, if you can't amuse yourself how in the world can you amuse anyone else?  I'm the type of person who...
    dragon143 dragon143 18-21, F Jan 8, 2009

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    What Do I Look Like???

    A woman was nagging her husband that he needs to cut the grass, the husband answer was: "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again: "Honey, can you fix the faucet? The husband replied: "What do I look like to you? A Plumber...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    It's One of the Reasons I'm Here

    sometimes I can be rather entertaining. I'm witty, mildly talented as a triple threat (sing, dance, act). I have fun with myself - it's a good thing.
    RavenLee RavenLee 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 2, 2009

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    Whe You Live...

    in the country in fair seclusion...you have to learn to amuse yourself..
    txwoman2 txwoman2 36-40, F Feb 13, 2010

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    Thinking It Works A Little Too Well....

    An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance," says Mrs.. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

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    I Don't Know If I Amuse Myself More...

    I don't know if I amuse myself more than other people do but i do know that I find more things amusing than most people do... I see something and it cracks me up and other people around me don't see the humor in it... it could something small like a pen laying oddly that looks...
    phidget phidget 31-35, F 1 Response May 12, 2008

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    Viewer Discretion Is Advised...

    There was this newly wed couple that was just married and the bride was home naked waiting for her husband to get home. Well, the mother-in-law decided to stop by and seen the young bride naked and asked what she was doing. And she said: "This is my love dress." The young girl...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2011

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    This Is Just Really Cute!!!

    Never know what an old guy will say. I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes [he's 66]. We decided to get a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in different colors-green, red...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 25, 2011

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    Amusing Myself ...

    I have to admit i probably amuse myself more than anyone else can amuse me lol. Sometimes i write stupid comments to peoples abusive words with a kiss and such kindness that they don't know what to say or do about it ... maybe it frustrates them a tad more but i am here giggling...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 30, 2013

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    My A$$

    A 50-year-old lady is standing in front of a mirror, looking at herself. Her husband walks in and says: "What are you doing?" She says: "My doctor told me I had the breast of a 20-year-old. He said: "Well, what did he say about your 50-year-old butt?" "Well, he didn't ask about...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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    Oh Ya...that...

    A blonde just totaled her car in a horrific accident. The cop asks her: "What happened?" "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" replies the blonde. "I was driving down the road when all of a sudden this tree pops out of nowhere. So I swerved to the left and out pops another tree...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Mar 3, 2011

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    All the Time....

    All the time over the stupidest things. I will just burst out laughing and if someone is in the room that I didn't remember being there they just look at me like I'm mad... entertaining me even more!
    GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2008

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    School Vacation Week...

    Okay...so they call it vacation week...let's be realistic here...just because there is no school...doesn't mean there's a vacation time for parents. I have found that everything in my current world is taking 45 minutes to an hour longer than it should. If I have to be at work by...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 23, 2011

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    O Hai

    I'm glad I'm not the only one. I personally think I am extremely funny, though I haven't met many people who agree. heh The people I do make laugh though make it all worth it...but even more than that, I make myself laugh EVERY day and I am not diagnosed as insane so I'm...
    soulshadow soulshadow 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 10, 2010

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    Untilted

    i laugh sometimes when know one else is...ill think of something inside of my head and it will be really funny...ill laugh for ever about it. but i cant tell anyone else about it because they dont find it to funny! not like i do!
    noodlehead noodlehead 16-17, F Dec 11, 2008

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    Well...would Ya?

    A man and his wife are driving home from a friends funeral, contemplating their own mortality. After a few minutes the woman asks her husband, "if I died would you remarry?" Knowing that no matter what, his answer will be wrong, he tells her that, "because we have three small...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    I'm a funny ****** or at least I think so.

    I'm always cracking myself up. Have you ever told someone there going to take it in the *** with a zucchini? Well I have and I find it amusing. Earlier today at the store this lady said some guy told her woman all have big boob and an attitude. She said she got screwed. I told...
    holehearted79 holehearted79 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Amuse Me

    I'm more of a serious girl.  At times, I also can be funny.  I will say something and I will laugh at my own joke so to speak. haha.
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2011

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    Got Chya Talking...

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

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    I Know ...

    I know it sounds conceited but I've never met anyone who can make me laugh harder than I make myself laugh. Sometimes I'm the only one who gets my jokes but I find them hilarious!!!
    missing missing 21-25, F 2 Responses May 11, 2008

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    Ohhh... Our Daughters...

    Three blonds talking: "I found cigarettes in my daughters purse. I think she has become a smoker." "I found cocaine in my daughters purse. I think she has become a junkie." "I found condoms in my daughters purse... Oh my God! I think she has become a man!!!"
    marlon70 marlon70 36-40, F Feb 26, 2011

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    Sure Do!

    i am the most ridiculous person i know. so incredibly proud of the fact that i'm finally able to laugh at myself. i find humor in just about everything i do.it helps that i'm slight clumsy and say crazy things allll the time. it's my weapon. (even when no one else is laughing...
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 5, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I worked at an amusement part for sometime before I really landed on my feet. But I got a discount when I went to went with my now fiancé and we went on a ride that flipped us in...
    loveylaura loveylaura 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    It's weird, but whenever I'm with friends, I basically look at myself from an outside sort of view. When I'm with them and I say something inappropriate or if I use a curse word, I...
    londontravella londontravella 18-21, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Easily amused. Yep, that's me. Stick me in front of that guilty dog clip on YTube, and I will laugh my socks off; no matter how many times I've seen it.
    ConcreteSleeper ConcreteSleeper 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I feel very bored with myself. Lately I feel like I've lost me zeal for live. I have stopped living and started just passing through. Surviving life instead of living. I see others...
    flowerloverxxv flowerloverxxv 22-25, F 6 hrs ago

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    I'm always pressured to be better. I always think of pleasing anyone, even guys and it can seriously be a blow to my self-esteem. Especially when it goes unnoticed. But not even...
    GigiCoeli GigiCoeli 18-21, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    I feel as if I truly don't have a personality, or I don't know who I am. What makes me, me? What is so different or special about myself that differentiates me from others. Who am...
    Genesisandstuff Genesisandstuff 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    I've never seen so many imperfections on someone. I'm jealous of people who have high self confidence. I always compare myself to other girls and say wow she's beautiful. im not...
    xriiccii xriiccii 13-15, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I'm turning 23 in December, never had a real job (just babysit once in a while), no license. It's really getting to me. I'm a huge disappointment not only to myself but to my...
    ButterflyBesitos ButterflyBesitos 22-25, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Hey everyone. I want to just put this message out there. Many of us, including myself, have been helped by this site and some of the wonderful people who are a part of it. But...
    cyndercrys cyndercrys 18-21, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Life sucks. I feel like I have no purpose here. I want to die on the floor. If I had acess to a gun, I would be dead. I hate the fact that I can't like myself. I hate that whenever...
    kitkat923 kitkat923 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 30

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    I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself...
    Ashley1421 Ashley1421 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Yes, I truly do. Before I go on, the purpose of this story is not to brag. Heavens no, I’m not like that. I’m not conceited. I’m not full of myself. I’m not a douche...
    BewareTheGonzo BewareTheGonzo 13-15 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    I feel claustrophobic in my own skin. I don't want to be me anymore. I honestly don't know how people go through life "happy" because for me life is literally just hard. It's hard...
    marisolitude marisolitude 22-25, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I dont even have a valid reason to hate myself, im actually a really nice person. I wouldnt say ive done anything that evil or inhumane to give myself a reason to hate myself this...
    Emma93 Emma93 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 30

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    As of late, my life hasn't been what I would consider to be optimal; I distanced myself from the only person that I have had any inkling of romantic attraction to, bickered with my...
    woahwoahpotato woahwoahpotato 13-15 Jul 5

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    This both a good and bad thing for me. The good: whenever I'm alone or with someone I don't like for example my fake *** friend I tend to talk to my self. When I need to make a...
    FighterWolf FighterWolf 13-15, F Jul 9

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    Why do I hate myself? I look deep inside myself to answer the question and all I see is a monster staring back at me. In my eyes, I see Frankenstein without the scars and body...
    scooterp23 scooterp23 36-40, M 3 Responses Jul 12

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    I hate myself, absolutely hate myself. Why do I feel like this, why can't I be normal? Why can't I love myself unconditionally, even if I were to be flawed, why? Why did I have to...
    EmmaTrowwy EmmaTrowwy 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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    I, I HATE myself. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much, it's hard for me to explain just how much. I don't think you'll ever be able to comprehend the amount of hatred and...
    Kmarcum99 Kmarcum99 13-15, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    Look, I'm sorry i don't love myself. I'm sorry it upsets you so much. But I can't love myself. I never have. I can't focus or even find anything positive about myself. I hate...
    IMetHimAtTheCandyStore IMetHimAtTheCandyStore 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    On Thriving and Surviving Surviving is to continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship. I have been surviving all of my life. To survive is to tap into a...
    jfrender jfrender 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 29

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    Since having my daughter and a really terrible break up(which I look back at now and say thank God that it's over), I have not had much 'me' time. Today, I took that time to pamper...
    sunniedays89 sunniedays89 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2