I Battle An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 222 People

    That Word

    That word, that three letter word; fat, holds so much power over me. It's amazing. Even though no one has ever called me fat there is still that fear that someone will. So I don't eat and I starve. I hate the feeling of being full, I mean I absolutely hate it!!!! And when I step...
    ColorMeRed ColorMeRed
    18-21, F
    Jun 23, 2011

    One day my mom called me a loser

    and a dissapointment because I wasn't as skinny as my friends and because I couldn't lose the weight. Because of those words I started only eating 300-500 calories a day so that I could lose the weight. Everytime that I eat something that has a lot of calories or that I used to...
    skinnywishes99 skinnywishes99
    16-17, F
    1 Response May 21, 2014

    I have anorexia and I'm trying to recover,

    but it's so hard. For every small step I take forward, I seem to have a bigger setback after that undoes my progress. I want to get better, but it's so hard it feels impossible sometimes:-(
    Silent711 Silent711
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 9

    If You Are Young...think Twice

    because this just does not go away when you hit adulthood by magic one day. Once you woo her, she is yours for life. I am 34 years old and have held hands with, battled, won some days, lost some days, loved and hated ANA/MIA since I was a child. I can remember how it started. So...
    madness4midnight madness4midnight
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 18, 2008

    People tell me I have a great body

    but to me I just don't think I do.. Anybody else feel like this??
    mydarkangel mydarkangel
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 16, 2014

    I'm so proud that I went out to eat dinner on a

    restaurant with my mom the other day and didn't count every calorie, I took in. It was so relieving, and even though I felt bloated afterwards, it was worth it! I got to talk with my mom about not-anorexia-related stuff and I enjoyed every minute. I thought that day, I could go...
    ThatCrimson ThatCrimson
    16-17, F
    Apr 29, 2015

    Ever since the sixth grade I've been battling a

    eating disorder. My friends were starving themselves I thought it was the cool thing to do. Boy was I wrong. I started to force myself to puke to try and lose weight my mom walked in on me but I lied and said I was brushing my teeth. None of my parents know not even some of my...
    kittycat2213 kittycat2213
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 9, 2014

    I Had A Dream

    I had a dream that I was in some sort of group therapy. With many of my peers, and one of my best friends. There was all these mental illnesses written on the board. And people would get up and talk about them. One was left. And after discussing her own, my best friend, gave me...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick
    5 Responses Feb 23, 2012

    Never Give In!

    It Will Kill You. Three Times I Have Escaped Death. I'm 19 And I Wake Up Everyday Feeling Achy, My Heart Hurts, My Bones Feel Weak And All I Feel Is Pain And A Loss of Beauty And Life That Once Resonated Within Me. FIGHT IT FIGHT IT FIGHT IT. I Will Never Let It Take Me Away....
    ReeJee ReeJee
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 18, 2010

    This Is Me...this Is My Story

    My story: I have suffered of depression since I was 8 when my mom left my dad. I was bullied all through elementary school.+ And things got worse online. Cyberbullying washave a story barely similar to your's. a huge cause of my depression. I was called fat, lardo, and many...
    LearnToBeHappy LearnToBeHappy
    13-15, F
    1 Response Jul 14, 2012

    Binged today but couldn't purge I feel

    so horrible about myself I literally feel like crying thinking about what a failure I am. I shall just go back to restricting tmrw.
    ELSAhugsyou ELSAhugsyou
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

    I try not to eat but I find myself binging all

    day.. I'm afraid to find out that I've become 130 pounds.. My goal is to be 110 pounds by May 29th.
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 19, 2014

    Eatting :/

    Well I've always liked eatting I mean food is great and then you gain weight and you start putting on pounds and your like wtf? well last summer is when i started purging I was looking in the mirror and i was gaining weight and I am a very self concious person...
    CrazyChicky123 CrazyChicky123
    13-15, F
    Mar 5, 2010

    I hate it. I constantly am striving to avoid

    food, but I always end up screwing everything up. Then I purge. It just goes like that every day, over and over and over. I can't tell anyone. I constantly live in fear of what people might think if they found out. I am always trying to tell my best friend, but I know she'll...
    wannabeweightless wannabeweightless
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 17, 2014

    Don't Let It Get Out Of Control

    I know that if I let myself I would binge until I threw up so instead I plan out and measure all of my meals. I literally cannot buy big bags of chips because I know I can and will eat a whole family size bag of doritos in a day. For me boredom is not my friend and actually when...
    wolfcon wolfcon
    22-25, F
    Jun 22, 2011

    I Hate to Eat

    I have an eating disorder... I have had it since I started high school... I know I am not fat but I just look in the mirror and all I see is too much fat here and cellulite there. I don't consider myself to be too far gone that I am going to die cuz I do eat. I just eat and then...
    got2Bmoi got2Bmoi
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Oct 31, 2007

    Am I Crazy?

    My eating disorder is so bad I have personified it and created a voice in my head that is her. I literally refer to my disorder as a person. Am I crazy?
    squelettique squelettique
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Aug 20, 2013

    We get criticized if we lose weight .

    .. We get criticized if we gain, nothing is good enough until the position we are in is taken to the extreme and it feels like there's no chance of getting any better. It is a terrible vicious cycle because it never stops until it consumes us completely and our own sentence would...
    Lifeisamindfuck Lifeisamindfuck
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 13, 2014

    So this may be a bit long.

    Basically I never tell anyone anything, I've never been able to do it. But one day I decided to tell one of my best friends about all my problems. She had messaged me that night saying she cut for the first time. I ha been cutting for 18 months when she told me that but she had...
    skinnydream1 skinnydream1
    18-21, F
    Oct 24, 2014

    I have been going on 3 years now,

    off and on with this disorder, and right now I just need someone to talk to.. Really bad, I cant eat anything without feeling disgusting and feeling regret... I look at food the way people look at someone that is disgusting and I don't want to but I feel as though if I even as...
    vyrlox vyrlox
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 15, 2014

    Its awful have eating disorder I feel hurt

    everytime people call me fat,chubby,fatty whatever the **** they said..its hurt me so much..i wish can be more thin..i am scared eating meat,chicken etc i miss the moment when i never think about people opinion about me..I want all that food without feeling frustration..i feel...
    myselfhere myselfhere
    22-25, F
    Oct 10, 2015

    I would love to give a big ef' you to all of

    the people in my life who ever believed I developed an eating disorder for attention. 20 years later, I guess I must have not achieved the amount of attention needed to "get over it." Thank you family for the overwhelming support.
    staleMommyof4 staleMommyof4
    31-35, F
    Aug 21, 2014

    There's a demon inside of me

    that I wish to get rid of, but it's too strong.
    ELSAhugsyou ELSAhugsyou
    18-21, F
    Mar 30, 2014

    For over a year now, I've been on the verge of

    anorexia. I go two, maybe three days without eating or eating very small amounts, then I stop. I know it's terrible, but there's a part of me that wishes I could go for longer. Those days I don't eat are the days I feel powerful. I don't have a lot of self-control, but...
    PairOfTrees PairOfTrees
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

    I am currently in recovery from starving.

    I have always wanted to be a model and I always viewed my self as to large. These pictures are me. I feel uneasy posting them but what do you guys think?
    kelseyw0616 kelseyw0616
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Apr 19, 2015

    I'd never tell anyone about my eating dissorder

    because they'd just be like... "Well why arnt you skinny?"...
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr
    13-15, F
    Apr 23, 2014

    I hate having an eating dissorder.

    it's ruining my life. 😞
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr
    13-15, F
    5 Responses Apr 21, 2014

    For 6 years of my life I've suffered from

    anorexia, with the last 3 years of my life resulting in bullimia. I am currently struggling to maintain my weight and get back on a healthy path as I've gained copious amounts of weight from the years with bullimia. I'm trying as hard as I can to recover. I slip up, sometimes, I...
    LittleOneMia LittleOneMia
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 21, 2014

    Starving In New York City

    People, we get it, obesity is unhealthy, and not very attractive either. But here's a news flash. Anorexia is pretty unhealthy and ugly too. Pretty much everyone knows that a healthy mind, body and soul involves living squarely within your BMI (body mass index). Well everyone...
    MaxineR MaxineR
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2012

    Day #1(again) of restricting bcos I slipped up

    yesterday. I hope I can keep this up.
    ELSAhugsyou ELSAhugsyou
    18-21, F
    Mar 30, 2014
    deleted deleted
    Apr 1, 2014

    I don't like food!!! I don't want to eat,

    if I do it's only a very little... I'm very picky... A lot of foods make me sick... I don't know why.... I use to throw up every morning..... Now it's Maybe 3x a week at the most people tell me I have a eating disorder but I don't think so!! Do I???
    Eloradanan98 Eloradanan98
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 18, 2015

    I'm slowly slipping back into my old demons

    selfharm,eating disorders.cutting my wrist and thighs.eating then making myself puke it up.all cuss my ex boyfriend and People calling me fat and **** should I get help or let it go like before
    DollFacedBeauty2k15 DollFacedBeauty2k15
    18-21, F
    May 1, 2014

    It Only Gets Worse.

    I'm on a roller coster , up and down my weight go , but emotionally I'm only getting down .. It's so hard .. Day by day I want to end my life so badly .. I rather die that be like this . No one is helping me because no one seems to understand how hard it is to deal with an...
    alice96 alice96
    16-17, F
    Aug 25, 2013

    Want to be beautiful

    and so I started to not eat.
    LillyBailey LillyBailey
    16-17, F
    Jan 14, 2014

    I Overeat And Hide Food From Others So I Can Had It Later

    I overeat sometimes and hide bread and chocolate or cereals and many types of foods from the other family members because I think I must have it! There has been some times I eat and eat cereal til I am sick... and on the verge of throwing up... I over ate a few years ago on...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Jun 21, 2011
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