I Battle Bi-polar Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,167 People

    I have all these thoughts running through my

    head. Attached to these thoughts are emotions. Once my thoughts are written down the emotions fall away with the thoughts...for the moment. For the moment I don't feel the need to analyze over the tiniest of details or the emotions I feel. For the moment I am clear headed...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 17

    Bipolar disorder type 2.

    I enjoy up in all sorts of binds because I am constantly "doing" according to mood. I spend too much money, buy too many things I think I need, drink 2 or 3 nights a week, meet up with guys at the bar. Do dumb stuff. Cheat. Then go to work and do my best. My mind is crazy and...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Mar 30, 2014

    A Day In The Life Of A Bipolar Teen

    Im loss within myself though theres no place to hide Emotions twisty and curvy like im on some sort of ride Am i happy or am i sad im so confused theres days were my life seems worthless and i have nothing to loose For weeks im hypers jumping around it feels the best Days later...
    toriaann98 toriaann98
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 10, 2013

    -

    I have not received an actual diagnosis (and frankly I feel completely unmotivated to), but from personal perspective I'm quite certain that I have cyclothymia, with my rapid mood changes with are usually random and can range from hypomania to intense depressive anxiety.  I...
    MrBackwards MrBackwards
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Jul 5, 2007

    So I go in to get my monthly dosage.

    .. the whole gambit of the cocktail prescribed by this doctor and that. (all with a different set of initials following their name) The pharmacist was rather rude, and it took about 35 seconds of this rudeness to **** me off to the point where I started to get that.... hmmm...
    JLBetts JLBetts
    46-50, M
    1 Response Nov 1, 2014

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder in 2010

    during a 2 week hospitalization. I was diagnosed with mixed episodes and rapid cycling episodes as well.
    MrsJen MrsJen
    26-30, F
    May 28, 2014

    Sometimes I scream at myself in my head.

    Living can be so painful and no one in my life understands the pain, they just say they would be crushed if I killed myself. They don't understand, I'm already dying inside. I need to tear my face off or stab a knife into my body somewhere so I can feel a different type of...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 9

    I think I have bipolar I'm not

    that sure? But how do i find our professionally? I can't just say to my doctor I think I have bipolar she won't really say much, I used to take Prozac and now I take Zoloft for my anxiety disorder and my OCD and depressive disorder but I really can't figure it out :(
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 22, 2014

    I am on a mood stabilizer

    but I struggle all the time with this. I'm not sure I believe I'm bi polar. I think I was having a spiritual awakening. I wanted To ride the waves of my mania. People say omg your so much better now on Meds... But I don't feel better. Lord have mercy Is there anyone out there...
    Flowerpower5678 Flowerpower5678
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 20, 2015

    My Daily Struggle

    I'm 35 years old and ever since I can remember I have always felt "different". Growing up I was a good kid and I had a loving, stable home life. As I entered my adolescent & teen years I became quite rebellious. I enjoyed breaking the rules and taking risks. I kinda liked the...
    allie1977 allie1977
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Feb 1, 2013

    My Name Is Ashley, And This Is My Story.

    Hello, my name is Ashley, I am nearly 16 years old (in December) and I am currently in grade 11 (: I am the type that loves school. In my last months of grade 9 I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea what to do or what to think, and where to start first or who to tell.. My...
    ModifiedMamaofTwo ModifiedMamaofTwo
    18-21, F
    Sep 19, 2012

    I relied on meds and individual therapy

    for years with just enough success to manage the mania but not the depression. My doctors decided to change the course and got me hooked up with a behavioral therapy group called DBT. (Dialectical Behavioral Treatment) It's a lot of work, but I'm learning technics to my moods...
    jameson939 jameson939
    56-60, M
    1 Response Jan 22

    He Doesn't Want to Understand

    I'm married to someone who doesn't understand what it's like to have a mental illness.  And that's great for him because I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but it's terrible for me because I am alone when he is sitting right next to me.  He doesn't even want or try to...
    eromreven eromreven
    26-30
    10 Responses Nov 19, 2007

    24hrs no sleep 36hrs no meds!

    Screw you bipolar!
    bipolarPeter bipolarPeter
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Jul 12, 2015

    does it get worse as you get older?

    I'm praying that it's not bi polar, i always just thought that i was just sensitive and emotional, but the symptoms are starting to become more and more evident by the day. I'm three different people with my friends, my sister, I can clearly see that she walks on egg shells...
    alxvii alxvii
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 3, 2015

    Epilogue

    In everyone's life, there is struggles. We have hardships and rough times. We feel like it's the worst day of our lives, and yet here we are three weeks later, feeling the same thing. There's always a worse day. There's another day in the future when everything will seem to go...
    Spyderz Spyderz
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Oct 15, 2008

    This year makes 20 years

    that I have been medicated continually for bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in 1994. Got it kind of early. I have type 1, rapid-cycling, w/ mixed episodes. I'm not setting the world on fire, but I'm still alive.
    NCG475 NCG475
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Nov 1, 2014

    Multiple Disorders...

    So far, I have been officially diagnosed with Bi-Polar, OCD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Tourettes, ADHD and a self diagnosed Schizophrenic. I have, somewhat, been bullied in school and have had learning problems detrimental to my life. I had a heavy "case" of Tourettes until...
    Johnknu Johnknu
    22-25
    1 Response Jun 25, 2013

    I've never been officially told by a doctor

    if have bi-polar disorder but I have a lot of the symptoms and pass family members have had it. I feel depressed someone msg me to help me....
    Mendex Mendex
    16-17, M
    Jul 10, 2014

    I Ride The Waves Of Bipolar Disorder.

    I know I have this disorder. Bipolar disorder for me is more than my moods. It's in my head and body. When I went manic about 10 years ago I could feel it and hear it in my head. My ears were ringing, I couldn't sleep, I leaped out of bed in the morning, lost weight easily...
    littlemonkeydoodle littlemonkeydoodle
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jun 24, 2012

    I just researched the disorder

    and everything matches me perfect. I'm going to go to a specialist about it to make sure I actually have that. But I'm pretty sure it's what it have. And it would make sense if I did cause it does answer alot of questions and matches me
    Brewedtea Brewedtea
    18-21, M
    Apr 30, 2014

    I struggle with my energy most of the time.

    Every few years I go into a hostile mania. I take apart electronics thinking I am an electronic engineer. I am like a tweaker getting little sleep. I refuse Meds and end up harming myself. This last year I ended up making two suicide attempts spontaneously. No...
    Muzeam13 Muzeam13
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Mar 25, 2015

    Never Ending?

    I feel like everythin is closin in on me, I feel like every corner I turn its there and won't leave me alone. I do my best to control it and get a handle on my life and all people tell me is "I let everything ruin my day" and "why am I so serious?" And "why can't you just relax...
    Ninja20 Ninja20
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 11, 2012

    My First Brawl

    Last night, believe it or not, after at least 6 years of developing manic-depressive phases, I got into my first physical fight. A neighbor of mine has been attempting to buy my house for about three months now. The homeowner, my father and grandmother were finally considering...
    motherofzeno motherofzeno
    18-21, F
    Feb 2, 2012

    It's really hard when no one around you is

    ready to support you through troubled times and labels your manic and depressive phases as 'passing teenage mood swings'. It's just awful. You're feeling happy, just euphoric, like you're on the top of the world, take on too much because you know you will be able to pull...
    EvanescentIridescent EvanescentIridescent
    16-17, F
    1 Response May 17, 2014

    I hate being alone, but I'm a walking nightmare

    to be with it seems. I wish I could just relax sometimes. Not be so f'ing anxious and happy/sad/happy/sad/. I've been getting better. Might finally be on medications that work it seems. Going thru a divorce and not having someone close by sucks, but I guess that's the lot...
    bipolarPeter bipolarPeter
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jun 26, 2015

    The Quiet Desperation Of Depression

    This is about depression. Depression as it affects me, It could be in a different group I suppose - maybe in a group about depression, but depression is part of mine and many's experience with Bi-polar Disorder (Manic Depression). The highs I have might stick out like a sore...
    frankiegee frankiegee
    46-50, M
    1 Response Apr 10, 2013

    At first I was upset with the diagnose,

    yet now I realized the importance of helping myself get better with my new acknowledgement and to grow from it Instead of dwelling so I can better improve myself.
    MyDoctorLove MyDoctorLove
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 14, 2015

    They Thought I Was Crazy.

    I have suffered from depression my whole life (what I can remember of it lol). After weeks of not being able to get out of bed my family sent me to talk to a psychiatrist, this lady was a joke...she had me draw a picture of my family (I was 17 years old at the time!) and when it...
    BellaDonna2007 BellaDonna2007
    31-35, F
    2 Responses May 15, 2007

    I was dx with Bi-polar two years ago.

    I've been put on many different meds and none seem to help. I can't stand being labeled! I will keep fighting this battle even if know else understands me!
    Krisco1970 Krisco1970
    46-50, F
    1 Response Aug 19, 2015

    Someone Please Help Please

    I think I have bi-polar . . . I said it to my mum and my counsellor both on separate occasions and they both seem to agree and both been thinking it for a while. I am not going to lie I am scared. I am going to the doctors in 2 hours and feeling very distressed :(
    Loopylee123 Loopylee123
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 2, 2013
    RoobieCatenis RoobieCatenis
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 5, 2014

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder

    and depression since 2007. I can't even begin to name all of the medication I've been on. Most of my days are pretty normal, but I do fall into deep states of depression sometimes. It starts with getting upset and getting the urge to cut. So I do, then I end up laughing about it...
    e39grl e39grl
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Dec 25, 2014

    My Battle

    Ever since I was young, I always battled with disturbing mood swings. I have a family who doesn't believe much in medication, or psychological disorders, but once I was old enough to realize my mood swings and thoughts were not normal, I saw a psychiatrist and psychologist...
    re4409 re4409
    18-21
    2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

    I battle bipolar depression

    but I never seem to have big enough weapons to really win, just enough for it not to take too much territory. Wish I could nuke it to oblivion.
    Golondrinas Golondrinas
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2015

    And I am so sick of feeling guilty

    and ashamed that I ever asked, when all I hear is people telling me what they think I want to hear...
    Zquagmyer Zquagmyer
    26-30, F
    Dec 8, 2015

    I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

    That's both schizophrenia and bipolar together. I wasn't diagnosed with this until late 2003 or 2004. I was in my mid 30's and going through a bad marriage. When I was told of this, I couldn't understand how this could be! Recently I had a medication change and an increase doses...
    noaht43 noaht43
    41-45, T
    Jul 15, 2012

    I have been off my meds

    for 3 weeks now and I feel great. I don't know why my mania hasn't kicked in. Iv had my down moments but Iv been normal... It feels weird to feel normal. I felt like I was a girl who had a broken heart that needed help at the time but I'm okay today.
    Flowerpower5678 Flowerpower5678
    22-25, F
    Apr 19

    Every Day Is A Struggle

    I'm bipolar and have been stable for years. But being stable doesn't mean I don't have to battle the symptoms each and every day. It ticks me off to no end when I get irritated by something and someone asks me if im having a bipolar moment! I feel like screaming at them "No! I'm...
    Flashtwo Flashtwo
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Feb 3, 2013

    Spring time usually gets me manic.

    I am kinda manic right now. I stopped taking meds bc I wanna control it but it's so hard :(((
    Flowerpower5678 Flowerpower5678
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Apr 9, 2015

    As Long As It Has Nothing to Do With My Vagina

    In the psychiatric ward, they take your shoelaces.  They took mine anyway.  They took my black winter coat, my cell phone, my charger, my purple college back sack and they took my shoelaces.  In a small and drafty off-white examination room I took off my shirt, my...
    brujis brujis
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jul 19, 2007

    And I hate adjusting to new medications.

    ..Especially anti depressants... Mostly because not only does it give you physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, decreased appetite, headache, cold sweats, and tremors but it also makes you feel light headed, gives you blurry eyesight, makes it hard to balance when you walk, and...
    HarborLove HarborLove
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 25, 2014

    Living With Bipolar Disorder

    I was diagnosed a year ago, my boyfriend and I broke up and my mom was worried about me since I lost a lot of weight and would always be sleeping and never ate. So she took me to the doctor and first it was just depression then after more exams I was diagnosed with bipolar...
    Ninja20 Ninja20
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Dec 3, 2012

    Coming Out of the Crazy Closet

    For years I refused to allow myself to consider the possibility that I was a manic-depressive (I knew no other term then). The thought of being as mentally unbalanced as my mother was almost paralyzing, even my daughter was diagnosed before me. When my doctor suggested I see...
    FairyWitch FairyWitch
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Jan 1, 2008

    I hate it when you tell someone your to do list

    and it involves getting your bipolar meds and the person only says oh like your a crazy person
    krazkcatlady3085 krazkcatlady3085
    26-30, F
    Mar 21

    ..

    Descriptions today are in bed. The roof is too cold and my head aches so. The notes are far from factual in sense that could be proven, if you could ride off so gently emotion not being factual, or influencing. The emotions are my own. Almost, I am an experiment to my own...
    M0RGUE M0RGUE
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 3, 2008

    Because of my illness ,

    I am happy to report to any other sufferers of Bi-Polar Disorder, specifically The Rapid Cycle type. It is a merry go round. My mind works overtime yet I'm not out in the public's eye so I keep it contained more or less, unless I'm on the phone. I yelled at Verizon the other day...
    MsOracle MsOracle
    70+, F
    1 Response Sep 17, 2015

    Bipolar And Beyond

    It was 1957 when I was born to my Polish mother and Irish German father in Washington D.C. All our relatives lived on the east coast. In 1959 my mother Catherine, and father Francis drove me and my older sister, Catherine Joann or Jann for short, across country to California...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 14, 2013

    I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago

    and the meds are driving me crazy, I'm in the third set already and hoping they work. It's ruined my engagement and I'm really not sure how to handle this, help? I really don't want to be taking medication every day and I don't want to feel this way anymore...
    SinisterxSweetie SinisterxSweetie
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 21, 2015

    A Manic Poem

    Thoughts run together thoughts go too fast everythings like a river present and past Thoughts are really loud your mouth is too can't keep it ti yourself the birdie flew Thoughts are super great you can do it all your the best thing in the world until the fall Thoughts are...
    Moonmaiden13 Moonmaiden13
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Feb 20, 2011

    I feel weird about all the stupid things I

    believed , said and done. At the time it all felt real and I enjoyed it at the time, until reality kicks in again. It ain't worth becoming unwell as I felt worse after being in hospital, not because of nurses but because of being annoyed all the time by someone who wanted to...
    searching76 searching76
    31-35, F
    Jan 13

    I am so tired of being here

    and I am so tired of taking medication everyday. I only get a bad episode once every few weeks but when I do it's very bad. I don't even know how to describe it but it's like I am a totally different person. homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts. depression, anger, hatred...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 18, 2015

    http://mentalwellnesssummit.

    com/ This is NOT sponsored by drug companies. Interesting stuff here. It goes for a while longer. Until sometime next week. Perhaps the cracks in conventional psychiatry (drug based and pushing drug company agendas(which suit most psychiatrists it seems)) are starting to...
    frankiegee frankiegee
    46-50, M
    Aug 15, 2015

    Chrysalis, Or Sarcophagus? You Can Fly

    My Bi-polar has been particularly brutal these past months. I still made it through the semester with a 4.0 gpa. I still managed to lose 20 pounds. But I am still a huge mess of emo. I have been having horrible nightmares the past 2 weeks. Up and down consistently. I know that...
    beautifullytwisted beautifullytwisted
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 25, 2013
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