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I Battle Bipolar Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 418 People

    Life Left In Ruins

    Battling childhood bipolar I was always told my behaviour was because I was a Gemini, I wish that was why. At 25 I was first diagnosed bipolar but I was also pregnant and after pregnancy moods were not as bad so the diagnosis went by the way side, 2 years later I was pregnant...
    Jqspirit Jqspirit 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2013

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    I'm Over This

    I hate the constant mood swings and how it's never just a little sad or a little annoyed, it's complete depression or complete irrational anger. Yeah, the mania is great, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. It's tearing me and my girlfriend apart. I never know what emotion...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Feb 7, 2012

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    My Bipolar Brother

    I am a Professional Counselor with a Bipolar Brother Like so many recent high school graduates, who are thrust into the ocean of life, I wanted to return to my former fishbowl–life. There were so many questions, which suddenly so many people seemed to take a sick pleasure...
    janedode2013 janedode2013 46-50 Mar 14, 2013

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    Difficulties

    Nothing comes easy when you have this disorder, maybe that's why I've never met someone who is stupid with this disorder.  We may be addicts, alcoholics, etc but no one has ever come off as stupid that I have met. I pride myself on being one of the "lucky" ones at...
    Tormentedslumber Tormentedslumber 22-25 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    I'm unsure and would like someone to let me

    know. When I was diagnosed with traits of bipolar and personality disorder, that they wouldn't want me to be put on meds. Because it could make me full bipolar. I'm in love with my partner of 5 nearly 6 years and I've had urges to sleep with other people through out our...
    Keepingitalways Keepingitalways 22-25, M 2 Responses May 27

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    Workin' On Recovery

    I was diagnosed in 2001 at the age of 41. Since then it's been quite a journey. I've gone through a few med changes and a lot of mood changes in that time frame. I've had a lot of energy and I've been low on energy; I've loved and left and loved my husband. I thank God he's taken...
    cgoehring78 cgoehring78 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2008

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    Hello I'm 23 years old.

    I'm from Cornwall. Two years ago I was diagnosed with traits of Bipolar and a boarder line personality disorder and severe anxiety disorder. I've been waiting for my therapy to start for two years now and Ive finally had a letter with an appointment. I still don't really...
    Keepingitalways Keepingitalways 22-25, M May 26

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    My 15 Year Battle

    I have been battling depression since I was 15 years old. After many years of ups and downs I finally recieved a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder four years ago. After I lost my grandmother, I hit an all time low and was hospitalized with thoughts of suicide. Daily I ...
    drumstickgrl drumstickgrl 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2009

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    I'm really struggling lately.

    I'm type 2 bipolar and I'm finding it really hard to control my feelings. I keep lashing out at my boyfriend over silly things and everybody irritates me lately. Does anyone have any advice to help me control things a little more?
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I just googled compulsive sexual behavior!

    And ive never been that kind of person that just googles random stuff and feels like i have that but this time i think i might be suffering from this... I went to see a friend and he said some interesting things. Above all is true, that i tried dating him and he said he does...
    Marypossa Marypossa 26-30, F Jun 27

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    My mom is taking me to a healing mass today

    so I can get cured. I believe in God, I have my faith and there is a possibility I can outgrow it but it doesn't mean it'll happen. I have control over it and I've accepted it but it doesn't mean it hurts less when my mom wants to cure me.
    Ninja20 Ninja20 18-21, F May 29

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    Daily. And borderline.

    Violent ideations are the worst. They make my body move before fading. They bite sohhhh ddeeeeeepp. Thankfully theres pals and lust.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Aug 21

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    Reflection I Made When I Was 15

    I was always a sad kid. I cried a lot; was sick a lot. I didn't like to go outside much, and I certainly didn't have a lot of friends. I was the kind of kid that had sickly pale skin and big, blue bags under my deep-set eyes. I bruised easily, and was either sleeping far too much...
    maezombiie maezombiie 18-21, F Dec 1, 2013

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    Lamictal ! Just had a great meeting with my

    Doc. Was only diagnosed about 2 months ago with bipolar 2 and put on lamictal 50mg.. And she upped it to 100mgs. Hopeful and Prayerful for better results Anybody else on lamictal ??? Love to hear your experiences
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M Jul 24

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find one, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M Jul 13

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    It took me 10 years to get diagnosed with

    Bipolar II Disorder because the hypomania episodes were so short and subtle; from the time I was a teenager into young adulthood I tried every SSRI and SNRI antidepressant except Wellbutrin and nothing worked or the side effects were too unpleasant. As I got older and had a lot...
    NurseAmanda NurseAmanda 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 20, 2013

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    Unusually Happy, Not Fighting It :-)

    I hate being bipolar. Everyone does. But it does have its perks. Like those days when you're on-top-of-the-world happy and nothing can bring you down. And the universe did try. But no matter what happened, it didn't bring me down. Dance: I'm working on a really hard turn that I...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces 16-17, F Nov 5, 2012

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    It's exhausting. I get manic in the morning

    and then agitated and angry in the afternoon and depressed at night....everyday. I have abilify to help me sleep cuz without it I would probably be up all night. I have mixed bipolar :/ and if I'm under stress I hear people calling me name and I feel like there are bugs crawling...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9

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    i have not been diagnosed with anything.

    . but sometimes ill be sitting with friends, enjoying life, laughing and having fun... then all of a sudden i feel like someone turned on a switch and i feel angry... i yell, i hit stuff... idk what causes it.. and the entire time there is a little voice in the back of my head...
    lecksierae lecksierae 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    All I Know Is I'm In The Air

    Am I flying or falling? Sometimes they look the same, sometimes they are so starkly different, it's like night and day. I have a laundry list of things wrong with me, and I think I do pretty well at sucking it up and hiding it (in my family, if you say, "I'm in pain," that means...
    Kavka Kavka 18-21, M Apr 4, 2012

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    Bipolar disorder is the hardest thing about my

    life. I still don't understand why I feel the way I do, I just pretend to. I can never sleep & it makes me physically ill. The only time I feel normal is when I'm drunk or high.. It would be great to know I'm not the only one battling this horrible disease.
    mciarleglio26 mciarleglio26 18-21 2 Responses Oct 5

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    So i got a really bad panic atract today.

    . Had lots of things to do and i just wanted to run away from it all.. The reason i post this is because, ive been battling with this for a while and 1- i want people to know that this is a real problem, and is a really hard thing to deal with and control it 2- i seem to have...
    Marypossa Marypossa 26-30, F Jun 16

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    I stoped taking my meds.

    Thought I wa feeling better with out them. But they were helping me. Im feeling like crap now. And everything going on in my family isnt helping none. Plus right now my older brother is trying to boss me around. Im 43. I wish my family would back off. When I get real mad I take...
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F Feb 17

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    I'm a bipolar sufferer.

    It can be extremely difficult at times, especially at school when I'm around so many people at once. It has affected many aspects of my life and I'm sure many more to come. Firstly, bipolar has made me very shy and 'quiet'; now that's something I thoroughly hate being called. I...
    SoKLe SoKLe 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    Sinner And Saint

    I was diagnosed a year ago, but I think I have bipolar more then 5 years. I'm 24. I believe in God, I sing in a church choir and I try to live morally and to do good. But sometimes... things just get out of control. I don't sleep, I go out a lot, I have tons of energy and...
    Winterfell Winterfell 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    New record. Low since thursday night.

    Almost three days. Normally rapid cycler. Got stuck low and sewihsydal. Just broke free to rage. Hope to cycle more soon. Low bites too hard.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Oct 5

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    I hate that one of my good friends

    and ex is mad at me right now . It's my fault because I finally responded after 3days and then stopped our convo in the middle for 12hours but I'm in a depressed state . I don't wanna talk . He shouldnt feel special . I've been distracted and detached. I'm not feeding into that...
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    i have bipolar and all the kids in my school

    wen i was in public school they would make fun if me for it and my dad dont help with it i mean what kind of dad doesnt make a little effort to call or see me at all and then i only have one true friend to help and i think i trust him with all of the things i tell him bc he...
    bvbarmy4lif33 bvbarmy4lif33 13-15, F Dec 9

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    Bipolar 2. Not as bad

    as Bipolar 1, and so I just wanted to say I feel for those who have BP 1...
    immortalspirit immortalspirit 31-35, M 2 Responses Dec 9

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    I Fought The Bipolar And The Bipolar Lost

    Those of us who are bipolar are usually sensitive, introspective and thoughtful. Although these attributes bespeak some degree of intelligence they do not, necessarily, prepare us for the daily grind or help us to establish and maintain successful relationships. Be advised...
    heavyduty1 heavyduty1 66-70, M 2 Responses Jun 27, 2010

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I'M Bipolar.

    I've pushed away everyone in some way or another. I take so many "meds" it's insane. Sometimes I feel hopeless, like there's no way out. When I feel that way, I'm very very close to ending my life. Other times I look outside and see the sun shining and thank God I'm alive. Other...
    KaylaNicole93 KaylaNicole93 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    Constant Struggle

    I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder type II when I was 19 years old. I had a delusion that someone was out to kill me and during this time I slept maybe 5 or 6 hours in a week. I would stay awake at night and watch the windows and the doors for shadows and movement and...
    SashaSJ SashaSJ 31-35, F Jun 1, 2012

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    I battle this disorder quite hard.

    It is like a demon inside, and the fight is always on, but I will not give into it. I was diagnosed ten years ago with this (along with personality disorder) it hit me to hear a label come across me. It made me feel inhuman hearing those words. I played their games of...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    Anyone heard of episodic mood disorder?

    That's what my dr told me I have that and depression
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 7

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    It's so confusing....

    some days I think I'm so perfectly happy and energetic, and then maybe just a day or two later I can have a complete mental breakdown over the smallest of things.
    winchester96 winchester96 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    Getting My Life Together (again)

    The hardest part about being bipolar is when you're at rock bottom and you lose track of your life. I can't even explain this to my parents. They'll just think I'm making up excuses for screwing up. So I won't even try. I'm gonna skip that step and jump straight to getting back...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 11, 2012

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    Never knowing how the next day will be,

    when it'll turn and how I'm going to put up with it. None of my friends get it, my family supports me but they don't get me either. How is it okay being down but not acceptable being high? All I got is lithium, all I want is happiness and the ability to follow things through, is...
    Ennah Ennah 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I am standing on the edge of my own darkness.

    Anxiety and anger fills me to even I can not out run this time. Society looks at me confused as if I can just change into a happy place, take a few breaths and move on. My mind is yelling and wont shut off, my nerve endings twitch beyond my control to my own eyes I look and feel...
    wickedone72 wickedone72 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    This bipolar thing is getting tiring.

    I have been in the hospital a few times, and it's always hard being admitted but sometimes you just have to. I thought about admitting myself again a few days ago, cause I have been feeling down and I just broke my 8 months of being self harm free. I try to live a normal life...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 8

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    I'm wondering if there's anyone on here who's

    able to manage their bipolar while meeting expectations for high-demand jobs or pursuits. I have been unable to work steadily for the past year, with some similar difficulty in the past, but am about to being graduate school and teaching and possibly another part-time job, and...
    howlingfantods howlingfantods 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    I hate being this way.

    . I just wanna sit in dark all day hiding from the outside world. I don't wanna talk to anyone. I just wanna go somewhere where no one is around.
    AtsukoJun AtsukoJun 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    Bipolar Disorder

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in my late 20's. It fit. It made sense. My father is the oldest of nine children. All of them have some sort of mental disorder. We never gave much thought to as kids. My dad has bipolar. Mine is classic Bipolar 1. People just don't...
    lbriteyes lbriteyes 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 7, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I have a boyfriend who I think has bipolar disorder. He has mood swings, depressions and tendencies to isolate himself. When he is in good mood, he's very sweet and he adores me...
    cutejny cutejny 31-35, F 8 Responses Nov 30

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    Hi Iv had bipolar for the last five years and have come off my meds about three months ago. I'm doing well with a little bit of anxiety. Does anyone know if you can live well...
    bipolarpink bipolarpink 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    It bites hard. Meds made it worse. And heart attacks on seroquel. But they can debate diagnosis. Was in phoenix. Had a doctor. He left. New doctor came. She...
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 24

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    I feel like I'm 17 sometimes when I was first diagnosed with bi polar disorder . But now that I'm 25 I can't keep acting like a 17 yr old it's embarrassing , my room is a mess , I...
    Delusionalkrysti Delusionalkrysti 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Ok. Too bipolar to read posts. Again. And too dark to go write. Dang mood swings.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 24

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    My sister is bipolar, and when she is irritable, which is most of the time, she snaps at everything that our very energetic 5-year-old niece does. It is one thing to be that way...
    faststart1686 faststart1686 51-55, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    I am type 1, diagnosed at 18. I was told then that I could live a relatively normal life if I took my medication daily, no matter how I felt. I have done that, and no, I have not...
    justjessa justjessa 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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