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I Battle Bipolar Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 383 People

    I Am Bipolar And Lonely

    I was happily married with lovely 10 months daughter, I have bipolar disorder which is sever mood change from being energetic and full of life to severely depressed, I been on medication since I was diagnosed with it since I was 17, during those long years I didn't experience...
    ahmedanan102 ahmedanan102 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 30, 2013

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    I battle bi-polar disorder.

    I woke up this morning and after drinking coffee, I stepped out to have a smoke. I examined the state of my mind. My mind is a jail cell where the bars and spaces in between disallow my consciousness. I do not live. My head is a specimen of hollow, my body is cruelly attached...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    I hate being this way.

    . I just wanna sit in dark all day hiding from the outside world. I don't wanna talk to anyone. I just wanna go somewhere where no one is around.
    AtsukoJun AtsukoJun 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    My Bipolar Brother

    I am a Professional Counselor with a Bipolar Brother Like so many recent high school graduates, who are thrust into the ocean of life, I wanted to return to my former fishbowl–life. There were so many questions, which suddenly so many people seemed to take a sick pleasure...
    janedode2013 janedode2013 46-50 Mar 14, 2013

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    I Fight Every Day

     I am 34 years old now and for years I had no idea what was wrong with me. Even thinking back when I was in grade school, I would wake up some mornings and be more argumentative than normal just because I didn't understand how I was feeling. It was like a pressure had built...
    crazysoutherngrl74 crazysoutherngrl74 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 28, 2008

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    I'm unsure and would like someone to let me

    know. When I was diagnosed with traits of bipolar and personality disorder, that they wouldn't want me to be put on meds. Because it could make me full bipolar. I'm in love with my partner of 5 nearly 6 years and I've had urges to sleep with other people through out our...
    Keepingitalways Keepingitalways 22-25, M 2 Responses May 27

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    Never knowing how the next day will be,

    when it'll turn and how I'm going to put up with it. None of my friends get it, my family supports me but they don't get me either. How is it okay being down but not acceptable being high? All I got is lithium, all I want is happiness and the ability to follow things through, is...
    Ennah Ennah 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I stoped taking my meds.

    Thought I wa feeling better with out them. But they were helping me. Im feeling like crap now. And everything going on in my family isnt helping none. Plus right now my older brother is trying to boss me around. Im 43. I wish my family would back off. When I get real mad I take...
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F Feb 17

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    I'm a bipolar sufferer.

    It can be extremely difficult at times, especially at school when I'm around so many people at once. It has affected many aspects of my life and I'm sure many more to come. Firstly, bipolar has made me very shy and 'quiet'; now that's something I thoroughly hate being called. I...
    SoKLe SoKLe 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    I'M Bipolar.

    I've pushed away everyone in some way or another. I take so many "meds" it's insane. Sometimes I feel hopeless, like there's no way out. When I feel that way, I'm very very close to ending my life. Other times I look outside and see the sun shining and thank God I'm alive. Other...
    KaylaNicole9311 KaylaNicole9311 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    Bi Polar - An Ongoing Battle

    I'm so entirely sick of being Bipolar. It's hurting me so very much. I miss being on the meds that work but they are not affordable without medicaid. Over $700 a month!! I went a year + without medications. I started on Lithium a couple weeks ago. I hate it. I feel like when I...
    Maddz311 Maddz311 18-21 5 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    Bipolar Facebook Group Looking For More Members!!

    Looking for Bipolar people that use Facebook. I am part of a great group called Bipolar Maniacs and its an amazing group! Please send a message to me on Facebook if you want to join us and check us out! Search for me, Marisa Love-Shamp and ask for an invite! or email...
    MarisaLove MarisaLove 31-35, F Mar 3, 2013

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    Life Left In Ruins

    Battling childhood bipolar I was always told my behaviour was because I was a Gemini, I wish that was why. At 25 I was first diagnosed bipolar but I was also pregnant and after pregnancy moods were not as bad so the diagnosis went by the way side, 2 years later I was pregnant...
    Jqspirit Jqspirit 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2013

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    Difficulties

    Nothing comes easy when you have this disorder, maybe that's why I've never met someone who is stupid with this disorder.  We may be addicts, alcoholics, etc but no one has ever come off as stupid that I have met. I pride myself on being one of the "lucky" ones at...
    Tormentedslumber Tormentedslumber 22-25 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Is It Valid? Need Feedback~~

    H ey guys, I am a grad student who is trying to create a public campaign to make people understand bipolar syndrome and people who have it better in order to eliminate/fight with the stigma. I just revised my storyboard and in the stage of needing feedback from who ever...
    Niplus777 Niplus777 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 17, 2008

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    My 15 Year Battle

    I have been battling depression since I was 15 years old. After many years of ups and downs I finally recieved a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder four years ago. After I lost my grandmother, I hit an all time low and was hospitalized with thoughts of suicide. Daily I ...
    drumstickgrl drumstickgrl 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2009

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    I have a thick cloud inside my head today.

    It's been there since morning. I wasn't able to do anything to get ride of it and my day was terrible. I was so weak. It sucks. I don't want this anymore
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Daily. And borderline.

    Violent ideations are the worst. They make my body move before fading. They bite sohhhh ddeeeeeepp. Thankfully theres pals and lust.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M a week ago

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    I am standing on the edge of my own darkness.

    Anxiety and anger fills me to even I can not out run this time. Society looks at me confused as if I can just change into a happy place, take a few breaths and move on. My mind is yelling and wont shut off, my nerve endings twitch beyond my control to my own eyes I look and feel...
    wickedone72 wickedone72 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    My mom is taking me to a healing mass today

    so I can get cured. I believe in God, I have my faith and there is a possibility I can outgrow it but it doesn't mean it'll happen. I have control over it and I've accepted it but it doesn't mean it hurts less when my mom wants to cure me.
    Ninja20 Ninja20 18-21, F May 29

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    Bipolar Disorder

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in my late 20's. It fit. It made sense. My father is the oldest of nine children. All of them have some sort of mental disorder. We never gave much thought to as kids. My dad has bipolar. Mine is classic Bipolar 1. People just don't...
    lbriteyes lbriteyes 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2013

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    I just googled compulsive sexual behavior!

    And ive never been that kind of person that just googles random stuff and feels like i have that but this time i think i might be suffering from this... I went to see a friend and he said some interesting things. Above all is true, that i tried dating him and he said he does...
    Marypossa Marypossa 26-30, F Jun 27

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    I'm wondering if there's anyone on here who's

    able to manage their bipolar while meeting expectations for high-demand jobs or pursuits. I have been unable to work steadily for the past year, with some similar difficulty in the past, but am about to being graduate school and teaching and possibly another part-time job, and...
    howlingfantods howlingfantods 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    Sinner And Saint

    I was diagnosed a year ago, but I think I have bipolar more then 5 years. I'm 24. I believe in God, I sing in a church choir and I try to live morally and to do good. But sometimes... things just get out of control. I don't sleep, I go out a lot, I have tons of energy and...
    Winterfell Winterfell 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I battle bi-polar disorder.

    Each day is a struggle. Each day I do not want to get out of bed. When I leave my house in the morning, I do not feel well, something is wrong. I suppose that I don't engage with the world. I have very little consciousness. I do not have many thoughts. I suppose that I do not...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    I have found that sitting on EP

    and browsing the Q&A section brings me back into focus. I find questions that spark my interest and I am able to focus. I become motivated to ask questions and I ask questions. I engage with the world. Sadly, EP is my savour. Sadly because it's so lame. But I'm really OK with it...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Workin' On Recovery

    I was diagnosed in 2001 at the age of 41. Since then it's been quite a journey. I've gone through a few med changes and a lot of mood changes in that time frame. I've had a lot of energy and I've been low on energy; I've loved and left and loved my husband. I thank God he's taken...
    cgoehring78 cgoehring78 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2008

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    I battle bi-polar disorder.

    I had a fantastic day today. I was able to overcome the clouds in my mind and focus all day long. But the clouds came back after I spent too much time doing mind numbing things. I have to constantly be vigilant about what I do all the time because one thing can make me feel good...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    Hello I'm 23 years old.

    I'm from Cornwall. Two years ago I was diagnosed with traits of Bipolar and a boarder line personality disorder and severe anxiety disorder. I've been waiting for my therapy to start for two years now and Ive finally had a letter with an appointment. I still don't really...
    Keepingitalways Keepingitalways 22-25, M May 26

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    I Fought The Bipolar And The Bipolar Lost

    Those of us who are bipolar are usually sensitive, introspective and thoughtful. Although these attributes bespeak some degree of intelligence they do not, necessarily, prepare us for the daily grind or help us to establish and maintain successful relationships. Be advised...
    heavyduty1 heavyduty1 66-70, M 2 Responses Jun 27, 2010

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    Constant Struggle

    I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder type II when I was 19 years old. I had a delusion that someone was out to kill me and during this time I slept maybe 5 or 6 hours in a week. I would stay awake at night and watch the windows and the doors for shadows and movement and...
    SashaSJ SashaSJ 31-35, F Jun 1, 2012

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    It's so confusing....

    some days I think I'm so perfectly happy and energetic, and then maybe just a day or two later I can have a complete mental breakdown over the smallest of things.
    winchester96 winchester96 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    So i got a really bad panic atract today.

    . Had lots of things to do and i just wanted to run away from it all.. The reason i post this is because, ive been battling with this for a while and 1- i want people to know that this is a real problem, and is a really hard thing to deal with and control it 2- i seem to have...
    Marypossa Marypossa 26-30, F Jun 16

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find one, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M Jul 13

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    It took me 10 years to get diagnosed with

    Bipolar II Disorder because the hypomania episodes were so short and subtle; from the time I was a teenager into young adulthood I tried every SSRI and SNRI antidepressant except Wellbutrin and nothing worked or the side effects were too unpleasant. As I got older and had a lot...
    NurseAmanda NurseAmanda 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 20, 2013

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    I battle this disorder quite hard.

    It is like a demon inside, and the fight is always on, but I will not give into it. I was diagnosed ten years ago with this (along with personality disorder) it hit me to hear a label come across me. It made me feel inhuman hearing those words. I played their games of...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    I'm Over This

    I hate the constant mood swings and how it's never just a little sad or a little annoyed, it's complete depression or complete irrational anger. Yeah, the mania is great, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. It's tearing me and my girlfriend apart. I never know what emotion...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Feb 7, 2012

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    I'm going to be using this space to talk about

    my bi-polar. Every now and again you will see me here and I'm going to be talk about my bi-polar. Right now my bi-polar is alive. I can physically feel it. My frontal lobes, my forehead is cold. This is because all day my mind was numb and right now I sat down and have been...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M a week ago

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    Lamictal ! Just had a great meeting with my

    Doc. Was only diagnosed about 2 months ago with bipolar 2 and put on lamictal 50mg.. And she upped it to 100mgs. Hopeful and Prayerful for better results Anybody else on lamictal ??? Love to hear your experiences
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M Jul 24

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    Reflection I Made When I Was 15

    I was always a sad kid. I cried a lot; was sick a lot. I didn't like to go outside much, and I certainly didn't have a lot of friends. I was the kind of kid that had sickly pale skin and big, blue bags under my deep-set eyes. I bruised easily, and was either sleeping far too much...
    maezombiie maezombiie 18-21, F Dec 1, 2013

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    Struggling With Myself

    I am 19 years old and I hav very sever modd swings to the point that I am two different people. I started suffereing from these symptoms while I was a teenager, but my parents just thought I was another angst-ridden teen. I knew there was something much more bigger than the usual...
    blackdahlia blackdahlia 18-21 2 Responses Sep 13, 2008

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    Getting My Life Together (again)

    The hardest part about being bipolar is when you're at rock bottom and you lose track of your life. I can't even explain this to my parents. They'll just think I'm making up excuses for screwing up. So I won't even try. I'm gonna skip that step and jump straight to getting back...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 11, 2012

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    Unusually Happy, Not Fighting It :-)

    I hate being bipolar. Everyone does. But it does have its perks. Like those days when you're on-top-of-the-world happy and nothing can bring you down. And the universe did try. But no matter what happened, it didn't bring me down. Dance: I'm working on a really hard turn that I...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces 16-17, F Nov 5, 2012

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    All I Know Is I'm In The Air

    Am I flying or falling? Sometimes they look the same, sometimes they are so starkly different, it's like night and day. I have a laundry list of things wrong with me, and I think I do pretty well at sucking it up and hiding it (in my family, if you say, "I'm in pain," that means...
    Kavka Kavka 18-21, M Apr 4, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I finally have accepted the diagnosis of bipolar disorder 1 after being off my meds for two years..(I thought I could beat it :/) my episodes in the last six months have been so...
    smilecry81 smilecry81 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    I thought this visually summed up life in my Bipolar kingdom.I believe that "Bipolar" as a definition for this disorder oversimplifies the condition for those who do not have it...
    SShawnO SShawnO 41-45, M Aug 8

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      My name is Marie and I am 13 years old. I have a 15 year old sister that's bipolar. Everyday she is really mean to me and she says horrible things. She hits me, screams at...
    Miragesnow Miragesnow 13-15, F Aug 19

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    My half sis is Bipolar it runs on my dad side of the family.
    Rayven1997 Rayven1997 16-17, F Aug 19

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    I'm getting more experienced with the mania side and seeing how it effects my behavior and attitude. Mania is a high that skews your judgement. You think you can do things...
    sum1ab sum1ab 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Especially anti depressants... Mostly because not only does it give you physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, decreased appetite, headache, cold sweats, and tremors but it also...
    veeshybi veeshybi 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I really try not to think the worst but I can't help but notice she has been manipulative before!!😫 my heart is torn and time is ticking..
    fight2staypositive fight2staypositive 22-25, F Jul 29

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