I Battle Clinical Depression and Anxiety With Prescribed Meds

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 45 People

    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Jan 29, 2014

    Today was the first day I felt suicidal

    since I started taking the meds almost five years ago. Feeling numb on the meds sucked, but getting off the meds is hell. Got stopped by a cop the other day for some minor infraction and found myself telling him what SSRIs are and what they do to you. I think he felt sorry for...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 23, 2015

    You know you're a lousy poet

    when you try to write about how ****** you feel and everyone thinks you're talking about being a mermaid. Sigh..
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 5, 2014

    I sense my personality changing

    and it's only been a week since I started weaning off the anti depressants. My thinking appears clearer, I am able to string thoughts together and focus on them a bit better. I hope this is for the good.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response May 31, 2015

    The anti depressants have finally left my system

    and I feel completely hopeless and sad for no reason all the time, besides being extremely tired. It's been a really, really bad week. There was some miscommunication between the one I currently care a lot about and he wishes to dial back our friendship/relationship. My...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 19, 2015

    I haven't been able to feel anything

    since upping my anxiety and depression meds. Except today in an acting stint for charity. It was euphoric and I want it again and again. What kind of new addiction is this? I miss my old self.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2014
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 10

    Is this normal? To be a happy,

    charismatic, interesting, outgoing person when in a crowd, and a depressed, negative, bitter person at home? Has my family's past of being entertainers moulded me so much that I am one person in public and entirely another in privacy? Is this the beginnings of schizophrenia?
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    10 Responses Feb 17, 2014

    It's been a well from hell,

    but I'm calm. Is this the calmness that they all get before they kill themselves? Because all I can think of on this beautiful sunny day is putting on my trench coat, filling heavy rocks into my pockets and walking into the placid, glassy lake and letting the water close over my...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Dec 5, 2015

    More strangers know my true story

    than my true friends.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 10

    Appears no matter how hard I try,

    I'll always want a space to call my own where no one knows me or can see how screwed up I really am.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 4, 2014

    No one gets what it's like to be me.

    What it's like inside my head. Things that might not seem like a big deal but are huge to me. Being snubbed and disrespected by my son, and having his father support it. My hubby saying I'm loved, but seeing no proof of it. What, I'm only loved if I behave in the way you want...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Jun 27, 2015

    I don't know why I bother asking the question I

    just did. He obviously has a higher libido than I do and I think I might have friend-zoned him. :-/
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 20, 2014
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