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I Battle Depression and Anxiety

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 20,261 People

    I Am My Own Hostage.

    For the average person, getting out of bed & getting ready for the day is a normal, worry free morning routine. But for many of us just the sound of the alarm clock is that dreaded noise that reminds us that we must struggle through another uncomfortable, meaningless day full of...
    dublingal5 dublingal5 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    Natural Depression Treatments

    1. Get in a routine. If you’re depressed, you need a routine. Depression can ***** away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track. 2. Set goals. When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't...
    vewragid vewragid 31-35 4 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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    Chesher Chesher 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 20

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    Well I've read this post back to see

    where I am now and I feel it reads like it wasn't me. However, I did write it. Thankfully, this darkness is now filled with light, fun and laughter. More so with my children especially when they have hysterical laughter from things we do together :-). God it's good to be back...
    johnjw johnjw 36-40, M 2 Responses May 19

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    These lyrics from Kill Me by The Pretty

    Reckless sum it up quite well And all the lost souls say... Every day I wake up Every day I wake up alone (Kill me, just kill me) Or get me out of the sun Every day I wake up Every day I wake up alone (Kill me, just kill me) And get me out of the sun Someone get me out of the...
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I feel my life has no meaning.

    I feel lonely and want to die. I find no support from my wife and I'm loosing my kids
    sad67 sad67 41-45 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    School started 2 days ago

    and I'm freaking out. There's very few people I know in the majority of my classes and I only have a few classes with close friends. Most of the people in my classes are the biggest a-holes in the school. It's really starting to bring out my anxiety again and I'm really hoping I...
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 21

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    "Why?" He asks me... And I curl up on the bed

    trying to contain all the pain I feel inside. I reply, "No reason... I'm just tired..." Because why is a question I don't have an answer to. I feel so alone right now because nobody around me understands. No more questions please, just let me lay here as my tears soak the pillow...
    Calsi704 Calsi704 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    People think depression is sadness & Emptiness .

    People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black sea .But people are sometime wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, feelings , being numb to smile , being numb to survive . You wake up in the morning just...
    ProSolitude ProSolitude 26-30, F 3 Responses May 26

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    An Open Letter To All Who Suffer

     An Open Letter to All Who Suffer I know…  I have suffered from depression and despair since I was seven years old and my mother tried to kill herself the first time.  I know how deep a person can sink when they believe the whole world is piled up on...
    LonghornFan LonghornFan 56-60, M 20 Responses Jan 5, 2010

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    I cried myself to sleep last night.

    I went through the whole day with a straight face, walking around feeling out of touch with my surroundings, soon as I got home and into bed, I started thinking about how lonely I am and how I'm never gonna be normal and happy like everyone else, and I started crying...
    Lunarlight Lunarlight 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 18

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    Snake Kiss.

    Here I am all alone I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of hoping So now I play with the rattlesnake. I twirl him around until he's mad Then he sinks his fangs deep into my veins That's when you come When its too late And I'm too far gone I hear your soft cries As I slowly die I...
    TwistedOak TwistedOak 13-15, F 1 Response May 23, 2013

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    Depression is when you don’t really care

    about anything. Anxiety is when you care too much and over think everything. Having both is hell.
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 13

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    First day in my Sophomore year of college.

    Of course, it being the first day, we all have to introduce ourselves and give a 'fun' fact about us. In my mind I'm like "oh nooo, please not this again". I don't know anyone in class and it's a community college ergo small classes, I should be feeling comfortable but I...
    yourpetmuzzie yourpetmuzzie 18-21, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    IT´S BACK

    There was a blues festival in my town this week. My daughter posted all the dates for the concerts on our refrigerator door just to make sure we wouldn´t miss any of the shows. She is 12.  She loves blues, jazz and classical music.  Of course, she loves pop and modern songs...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 15 Responses Oct 1, 2011

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    I Won't Give Up This Battle!

    I agree with 'Don't give up Hope' because it may take awhile before finding the right doctor and/or medication of even lifestyle/diet change.  Vitamins help quite often, and exercise if you are able to talk yourself into moving. Ha.  I was on serotonin type meds for...
    amethyst amethyst 46-50, F 14 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    I was only diagnosed 2 months ago.

    I am seeing a new psychologist tomorrow. I am so nervous. It was hard enough to admit the first time. I know i need help. But i feel like i should of been better. i keep hating myself for being weak. I read all your stories. I have seen what others have gone through. I come from...
    Erinjessica Erinjessica 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Why is it when things are looking to be going

    up it goes straight back ******* down the way
    Chesher Chesher 16-17, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    i'm leaving for uni in a week

    and i am excited, proud and privileged to be in the position that I am, however, I feel a bit sad because I feel like no one really gives a **** that I'm leaving. I know it's a bit self-absorbed but I just... everyone seems far more distant than ever before and I thought it was...
    tellmewhatusernamesarenttaken tellmewhatusernamesarenttaken 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I hate it when people think

    that I'm joking or not being serious when I say something like this, or say that I'm just doing it for attention or anything like that. **** them! Everything I do isn't for attention, I don't hurt myself for attention I do it to take my mind off worse things in my life...
    lexigreen lexigreen 18-21, F 12 Responses Dec 9, 2013

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    You should be happy, people always say.

    You are loved, You make friends easily, you are talented, you are funny and you are pretty.. Well honestly I pretend all day, but at night the truth always creeps in. My miserable reality always wins. The truth is I am depress. I know the girl I play seems happy and is dearly...
    Lala311 Lala311 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I'm not having a good day.

    So much is wrong in my life. I was supposed to go today to fill out the paperwork to start collection of back child support I'm owed. My truck is broke down and I don't have the money to get it fixed. I was going to borrow my Mother's car. Well it won't start. So now none of us...
    cinch cinch 46-50, F 3 days ago

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    Do people really understand someone

    who has an anxiety disorder? We all have anxiety. If you feel threatened in anyway, your heart starts to beat fast, adrenaline starts rushing through your body to do one of two things. Fight or flight. This is understandable when you are in “real” situations, like combat...
    Sparrowhawk1161 Sparrowhawk1161 51-55, M 4 Responses Jan 21

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    It gets so frustrating being on

    such a constant roller coaster. I feel like I spend a lot of time wondering when the next thing will hit and send me careening off of this cliff that I've just barely managed to climb on to in the first place. They don't understand and they can't because they don't feel it. I...
    cartmanlover cartmanlover 18-21 Jun 10

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    Depression/Anxiety

    Well, it's four o'clock in the morning and I am online researching how to make this depression go away. I google and google and I find this website and decide to share my story. This is pretty much every night these days. In March 2006, my friend died in an accident. I was best...
    depressionhurts98 depressionhurts98 19-21, F 71 Responses Nov 20, 2007

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    I mostly pretend everything is okay

    or show people the surface. Sometimes it's just too much to handle. I just don't want to go back to that dark place I once was. I felt so alone and as if no one cared or could understand me....I try so hard, but idk why I let things bother me so much...I used to be able to just...
    Jusme08 Jusme08 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I was so positive about this weekend,

    my friend is getting married he wants me apart of his grooms men. But last 12hrs I have been having none stop anxiety attacks I've popped more pills than ever. But when I try to explain to people, just how bad I am they don't wanna listen. I'm kicking myself cause I'm gonna...
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm depressed and suicidal

    and no one knows
    thefeels21 thefeels21 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    If you’re feeling suicidal,

    please read this first. Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 7 Responses May 8

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    The psychotherapist made me realise I've been

    depressed my whole life. After finally self harming at 13 it took 4 years to feel confident enough to seek help. I didn't want to waste the doctors time. School councillors are rubbish. The uni one was abit better. The psychotherapist was fine but I found myself agreeing that I...
    ssssmills ssssmills 18-21, F May 21

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    I just so want to write down my feelings

    because I feel so mixed up.i have fibromyalgia,anxiety and depression,Raynaud's disease and an underactive thyroid. I feel like I've given up on myself.am spending a lonely week on my own without my kids,they are on holiday with their dad. I've hardly seen anyone except today...
    tillytot42 tillytot42 41-45, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Yes been there, fought it

    and still do. I have to be aware and manage myself and my energy. I find it sad that there are so many people out there that have some form or degree of depression and or anxiety. It's really not a very nice thing to have in life and is extremely difficult and excruciatingly...
    Kynkanjis Kynkanjis 36-40, M Dec 7, 2013

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    Looking at the coffin Of my dead great

    uncle Wishing I was the one in there Because of all the selfish reasons of my wanting to die I couldn't even mourn you I'm sorry and I loved you I was too selfish thinking about my own self hatred Now you are gone and I have lost another chance To know how much one person can...
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine 13-15, M 6 days ago

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    I got fired again (3rd time in 5 years) this

    past June. So many of the jobs open in my field (librarian) are at places I've already applied. I am trying to look into what else I can do, but right now I'm feeling the rejection all over again. I thought I was over what happened in June and I'd come to terms with it. But...
    greensapphire greensapphire 26-30 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Depression.

    You know when your so depressed, you just wanna stay home all day in your blankies, not do anything, and just die in your bubble of self pity?Thats the depression I have right now. I just feel like giving up everything and saying "**** it world goodbye" because I know if I die...
    oreosnow oreosnow 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    When you are letting yourself feel trapped by

    your current situations, you really are putting your self at risk to an even more dangerous predictement. Your never trapped, that is merely just an illusion in your mind. It was a hard lesson for me to learn myself. I was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for over 3...
    justkeepswimming89 justkeepswimming89 22-25, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I've had both for the longest time.

    My psychiatrist put me on a new anti depressant called Effexor 75 mgs. And I've been on soooooo many anti depressants since I was 13. Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Buspur, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Pristiq, Remeron, Trazadone, etc. I feel like a gini pig. They've never really put me on...
    UnstableSammi UnstableSammi 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    Do You Know How It Feels....

    ......to be put down and debased your whole ******* life? To be used and abused your whole ******* life? To be told you wasn't meant to be born and are ******* useless and are going to die soon? To be verbally, physically, mentally and emotionally abused amongst other types of...
    Lilith2013 Lilith2013 36-40, F 23 Responses Sep 14, 2013

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    A little background information.

    Ever since I was about 9-11ish (20 now) I started getting these feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts, I never really thought anything about it, at that age I suppose I thought everybody was the same. Teenage years were hard, it was asif I was 2 people for the most of it...
    milnerr milnerr 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21

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    Last year I went down hill fast with my

    depression and relied a lot on alcohol and didn't tell anyone how I felt. I made stupid choices while I drank and after suppressing all that for over a year it hurts more than ever and I have to find ways to deal with it. I'm happy to say I can stay sober now but the anxiety...
    Marie240 Marie240 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    muerterotica muerterotica 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Depression is like a war.

    You either win, or die trying.
    calliejacobs97 calliejacobs97 16-17, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    does anyone else feel numb

    and distant alot of the time? like youre there, but youre not?
    deathbecomesher89 deathbecomesher89 22-25, F 13 Responses Feb 6

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    Patience - April 6

    How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    I hate how much I hate my life,

    I consider just ending it all every day, and I'm sure the only reason I am alive is because I can't stand the thought of causing any pain to my family, people say there are painless ways to kill yourself but there aren't someone is always going I get hurt. So I'm stuck living in...
    JustJess97 JustJess97 16-17, F 7 Responses Jul 4

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    Why can't i just get it together.

    I am sick of being broken. But i feel like i am stuck. I can't seem to go forwards and i am scared to go backwards. i Should be stronger than this. why can't i be stronger than this?
    Erinjessica Erinjessica 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I Am Alive

    Here I am searching through the fog. The fog is so thick I can't see where I'm going and I don't know where I'm at, but I am alive. I look behind me into my past and I can see most of where I have been. I see people I care for, people I miss, some good memories, but the hideous...
    keeva keeva 46-50, F 15 Responses Nov 30, 2012

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    This is the first time

    that I have ever posted anything on EP. I get anxious sharing my feelings, and very rarely open up to people, which is why I like to read the posts on here, but never actually write my own. But now I have to share my feelings with someone because I don't know what to do with...
    freyy freyy 18-21, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Depression is slowly,

    silently crushing me.
    poeticesoteric poeticesoteric 46-50, M 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Dazzer2K Dazzer2K 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Seriously, it's getting ridiculous.

    I get angry at MYSELF about it. What exactly is there to be sad about? Why is going out with friends I've known for years such a big deal? What the **** is wrong with me? I mean, it frustrates me so badly. I resorted to self-harm today, just to get the courage to go out for a...
    gigglesounds gigglesounds 13-15, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I Have..

    I have Depression,OCD and Social anxiety. It's painful and I feel like everything in my life is a struggle. Simple things that others take for granted like interacting in a class is like torture for me. But I don't have a choice but to live with it everyday. I've been having...
    Summr Summr 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    I am calm and apathetic.

    I don't get angry very often. I'm mostly just sad and understanding. Otherwise I am tired and irritated. Then, I have random spikes of anxiety and paranoia once a month. I'm like the maniacally depressed robot from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", but I don't talk about...
    Apirne Apirne 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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